The FIFA are a bunch of bent bastards thread (sponsored by Visa, Coca Cola, etc.)

[Disco]

Isn't car racing (or at least the most high profile car racing) always going to be inherently tedious in the age of hyper-safety and MEGA MONEY?

I'm not referring to how exciting it is, apart from a few years here and there the 'racing' has been pretty consistent. I'm talking about how, despite the MEGA MONEY, teams and circuits are going out of business left right and centre and the sport is owned by a hedge fund chosen because they promised to keep Bernard in his job. We've reached the point where his dealings are just helping him rather than being good for the sport as well (or not actively harming it at least).

[Lewis]

Yeah, but people moan about that as well.

[Disco]

They always have, just for different reasons.

In the 60' too many people died, in the 70's ground effect ruined everything, in the 80's turbos were killing the sport, in the 90's it was Nige's 'tache, and in the 00's tyres and aerodynamics ruined everything again.

[Ian]

http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/34635440

Gianni.

[John Arne]

Blatter has apparently crumbled

He claims that in 2010 it was decided that Russia would get the World Cup, and that it was pretty much decided that Qatar would follow.

[Benny]

Good, put him in jail the senile cunt.

[Ian]

I like that one of the presidential candidates is called Tokyo Sexwhale. I may have added the 'h.'

[phonics]

Blatter has apparently crumbled

He claims that in 2010 it was decided that Russia would get the World Cup, and that it was pretty much decided that Qatar would follow.

That's not what he said at all. He claims everyone agreed Russia and then the US but Sarkozy walked in with some royalty and 4 EU votes swapped from the US to Qatar.

[Benny]

Yeah you dick, Phonics was there alright.

[phonics]

View Tweet

Nah, I can just read. The Harold disease is spreading.

[John Arne]

That's not what he said at all. He claims everyone agreed Russia and then the US but Sarkozy walked in with some royalty and 4 EU votes swapped from the US to Qatar.

I excluded the Sarkozy bit because it was largely irrelevant in the FIFA are corrupt shtick.

[John Arne]

Nah, I can just read. The Harold disease is spreading.

I intentionally omitted the Sarkozy bit, you dozy little shit.

[phonics]

Thanks for the indepth detail of 'They voted for Russia, than they voted for Qatar'. It was enlightening. Please keep sharing basic, well known facts.

[John Arne]

I didn't see you post it in the thread.
The important part was they decided in 2010 - not that they "just voted Russia and then voted Qatar".
Are you being intentionally retarded?

[Toby]

Chill out, lads, it really doesn't seem that important.

[phonics]

You need to calm down just because someone said your post was shit. Or you really would be turning into Harold.

[John Arne]

I simply responded to your smartarse comments.

[AE]

Not at all surprised by what Blatter said. No wonder Putin is the only one defending him.

[Weaver]

Sky reckon the German Police are in Germany's FA HQ at the minute...

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[Foe]

9 years after the event. Those floppy disks are long gone.

[Raoul Duke]

Uncle Sepp's gone hatstand: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34787547

Surely he's not going to try and get out of it 'on medical grounds'

[niko_cee]

The bigger news being the thieving, lying, "hard-working", better than us, more efficient Germans have been at it again. Oh, what a fucking surprise. Vorsprung ducht bribing. Bit like those really clever engines they came up with.

Sepp really is a side issue in all of this, bless him. He should just bury everyone. He must know pretty much everything there is to know.

[Lewis]

This is a sort-of-interesting look at Qatar's World Cup preparations. Hopefully they lose every group game 10-0.

[DC]

Better still, lets hope they get suspended from world football and aren't eligible to play at their own world cup, which Israel then wins with a goal from a Jewish Nigerian immigrant who qualified for international clearance after 5 years residency rushed through the day before the tournament starts.

Or something.

[Yevrah]

I still harbour some hope that it'll get moved or be boycotted.

If that doesn't happen I'd take Blatter going to prison and getting beaten/gangraped daily in his cell.

[Shindig]

It'll still go ahead but imagine the match-fixing allegations.

[John Arne]

I kinda hope it does go ahead... as much as it sucks that they bribed there way to get - I'm very much of the opinion that the World Cup should be played in places like this - it's just a shame that it will almost inevitably will have to be moved to winter due to the heat.

[Samadini]

They've essentially bought Xavi's child. Please be a girl.

[niko_cee]

Better still, lets hope they get suspended from world football and aren't eligible to play at their own world cup, which Israel then wins with a goal from a Jewish Nigerian immigrant who qualified for international clearance after 5 years residency rushed through the day before the tournament starts.

Or something.

With the name Dajjal.

[Raoul Duke]

16:03: "Fifa is not corrupt, and neither am I, insists acting president Issa Hayatou - http://www.theguardian.com/football/...t-issa-hayatou

19:13: "Fifa crisis: US charges 16 more officials after earlier Zurich arrests" - http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34991874

[John Arne]

Whenever Hayatou comes out with shit like that, the journalist should leave the room en-masse. Just don't entertain the clown.

[John Arne]

Blatter and Platini both banned for 8 years

http://www.theguardian.com/football/...-football-fifa

[Kikó]

Such a shame.

[Mellberg]

Meh, they were fucked on that front anyway. Prison needed for genuine satisfaction.

[John Arne]

Surely misappropriation of charity funds is a criminal offence?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Prison? I want their heads stuck on the corner flags at the next World Cup.

[Kikó]

Surely misappropriation of charity funds is a criminal offence?

The money was just resting in their accounts.

[ItalAussie]

I always figured that Platini was clean; I just can't see what he had to gain from corruption. He was a rich former footballer - one of the all-time greats - with nothing left to prove. Why throw that away?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ambition and greed. Easy for us plebs to declare that someone has enough money/power already but when you're in that position, most people always want more.

[niko_cee]

Plus he's French, so rampant corruption is, how would you say, de rigueur.

[John Arne]

Election for new president is currently taking place

Live coverage;


Current odds;

[Disco]

I'm curious as to whether Tokyo and Sexwale are common names wherever he comes from or if it sounds as crazy to them as it does to me.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sheikh Salman sounds like he will be significantly worse than Blatter.

[Byron]

TOKYO SEXWALE (as a name like that has to be pronounced in all caps) has withdrawn. The cynic in me imagines this is so the CAF can pile their votes behind al-Khalifa.

[Disco]

I immediately thought he'd been implicated in something and forced out.

I've enjoyed various news-readers tying themselves in knots attempting not to pronounce his name the way it's clearly meant to be.

[Toby]

Sadly the proper pronunciation is Sex-wah-lay, but I for one am happy to pretend otherwise.

[John Arne]

Prince Ali should be running away with this. If Salman wins.... I'm out. Salman's presidential bid should be as difficult as swimming upstream

[Jimmy Floyd]

Salman should win easily. Only Infantino can stop him but that would be an upset.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Infantino leads after the first round

Infantino 88
Salman 85
Prince Ali, fabulous he, 27
Champagne 7

So it needs Prince Ali and Champagne's votes to break Gianni's way. No idea.

[Byron]

Early indications are that some of the African countries aren't voting for Salman, which puts Infantino as favourite.