Sorry Jake, that's the worst attempt at wit I've ever seen. Please hide that inside a spoiler where it belongs Jim.
Theresa May's Conservatives
Jeremy Corbyn's Labour
Tim Farron's Liberal Democrats
Paul Nuttall's UKIP
2 people's Greens
Nicholas Durgeon's Scottish Nationalists
Satan's Sinn Fein
Dr Ian Paisley's DUP
Some other bunch of nonces
I'm foreign, but I wish I were an Englishman
Sorry Jake, that's the worst attempt at wit I've ever seen. Please hide that inside a spoiler where it belongs Jim.
At the risk of outing myself as part of that online group, does that joke make any sense and does the cunt have shares in Pret? The revolution was televised, you're a special breed of nonce to wish for a return to the office.
I don't think you've noticed the clever play on words: 'work' sounds a little bit like 'woke', so he's substituted one for the other to make his point.
A little known fact is that the Jam's 'Town Called Malice' is actually about woke-ing.
I assume in a room full of gammons that would have gone down an absolute storm.
"More like WOKEing from home, am I right?"
*rapturous applause, Jake is carried on the shoulders of an adoring crowd*
Surely "wanking" from home is the more obvious joke?
Tory-fyingly bad - sorry, I meant Terrifyingly, but let's be honest, it's often Tory-fying.
lll
Punderful.
Theres a theory Ive been working on with this usage of woke and its link to the long history of white people taking something from black culture, bastardising it and then using it as a cudgel to beat people they dont like with a la rock n roll. I havent got much more to it than that but I think theres something there.
Isn't wokenism (or the contempt thereof) just our generation's version of PC gone mad!
Not sure exactly who is the our in that statement, mind.
The company I work for wants us to work from home for the foreseeable future. I think they realised they can save a fortune by having us all doing this. I'm saving nearly Ł1000 a year by not commuting to work so I'm not complaining. Would be nice to go into the office occasionally but looks like that won't be happening.
As a personal choice / flexibility option it's golden, but making people doing it is (certainly in team-based work environments) genuinely insane.
I can't speak for your industry Dave, but in the main I'd suggest most employers doing that are being incredibly short sighted.
Spot on.Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
Some people in my work are furious about it. Basically (the odd paperwork-based task aside) they told us you can either work from home or it's redundancy. It suits me fine due to personal circumstances and the money saving but some people genuinely hate working from home. I imagine quite a lot of companies are doing the same as the one I work for. Working in an office could be a thing of the past in the not-so-distant future.
I agree. I think personal choice is the way forward or one week in the office then the next working from home.
Covid has seen employees and employers alike lose all common sense it would appear.
Ive turned down multiple jobs now because they wont work out of an office. Just doesnt work for me.
I'm going into the office again tomorrow. Not because I particularly enjoyed it last week but because I left my nice keyboard in there like an idiot and the old crap one I've been using Friday and today is pissing me off too much.
According to the booking system I'm the only one in tomorrow. Apart from the office manager, I assume.
Flexible working seems to be the way forward with a split between office and home working. But these people who have developed a self entitlement about home working need a reality check.
Yeah, I enjoy home working but never seeing an office again would probably see me moving jobs.
The main way that the 'WFH is great' people annoy me is that they don't understand how much it favours people with big houses, lots of space and the money to buy comfortable/useful equipment, all of which normally describes them. If you're a twenty something in a London shithole rental with no space and non-co-operative flatmates (as some of my friends are) then having it forced upon you is a nightmare.
...and when staff react as if you're putting them out by asking them to come into the office, despite the fact they've been doing it for the last 15 years without issue.
I acknowledge it's a different world now and there are certain industries which can utilise WFH much more effectively than others.
People need to have an eye kept on them long term or they’ll do fuck all. Companies will soon realise this.
Interestingly enough, the efficiency and quality in my workplace has increased since people began working from home at the start of the pandemic.
Whereas mine went down so badly that it got so bad I got into a fight with my boss that ended up with me quitting my job. People are different.
That is definitely the approach I would prefer because the thought of working from home forever is just weird (and a little bit horrifying) to me, but it's not really happening in practice for me at the moment.
The official line at our place is "work anywhere". So I could go back to the office, it is still there. But the vast majority of people have decided not to. I'm talking to the extent where there's literally three people regularly in our "wing" of the office, which used to house a hundred or so. I think it's very much the same for other departments who take up the other spaces. So my current take is that if I'm going to basically sit on my own anyway I might as well stay in bed another half an hour in the morning and sit at home in my own house.
But I was always very lucky in that I live a ten minute drive from work. I can't expect people with a long commute to share my enthusiasm about the prospect of all going back a couple of days a week I suppose. There's absolutely no way they keep the building open long term if it doesn't pick up though.
Somebody told me recently that they had nipped in for some reason and had a chat with the two people who work in the canteen (I assume we pay a company to do this for us across all the sites in the country so they will be under a contract for a certain amount of time) and they have just been sat there making like one bacon sarnie and the odd cup of tea daily for the last eighteen months and burning through boxsets on Netflix.
BBC staffed by people whose mum and dad worked there, says Nadine Dorries
Also Nadine Dorries:
MP Nadine Dorries paid her daughters up to Ł80k from the public purse to work in her office... and gave one a Ł15k pay rise
The new non-woke BBC is gonna be great.
'Escape To The Country' will be retooled to be about forcing young people to go fruit picking so we don't have to let any nasty foreigns in to do it. They'll be taught hard lessons about the value of hard work and at the end of the day they're paid in cash but then instantly have to hand it over to the nearest octogenarian.
Doctor Who will be recast with The Doctor being played by Nigel Farage.
The news will just be half an hour of people saluting Union Flags as God Save The Queen plays on a loop.
Vigil will now have a second series where they fight off Spanish fishing boat with a nuclear-equipped Trident.
Oh good, have we moved on from Team Office going full:
?
Good point, The Office also gets a reboot. Rishi Sunak to play Dev Brent, a guy managing an office full of people who are delighted and happy and productive because they get to cram themselves onto a train every day and spend Ł18 on a Pret sarnie.
One character, who for the sake of inclusivity will have to be an obese, black, foreign woman, works from home and everybody hates her. She does none of the dogshit commute, pockets the extra and gets an extra lie in in the morning but she doesn't get to see corporate powerpoint presentations in the flesh or go on miserable team outings so is she REALLY happy?
The answer is no, or at least not by the time her house burns down with her in it in the uplifting finale.
Yevrah, start the script.
I asked everyone what they wanted to do about working from home, and everyone said they wanted to come into the office on some days, but still wanted the flexibility of working from home some times too. So we have the office open 3 days per week, with everyone coming in at least twice.
It works okay, but I have to schedule it rather than allowing everyone to just come in when they want - we tried that for a few weeks, and there were some days where they was just one person on their own
Where it's useful is not, like I have to, using up your minimal amount of holidays on having the broadband man coming round or having a mattress delivered. There's no reason I can't do half a day or a day at my laptop while that happens. Not possible at my gaff.
The thing I don't understand is the level of aggression shown online towards people who say 'Well, some aspects of the physical workplace are actually quite good'.
Mark Noble.
If you want to go back to talking about Tory conference that can be arranged.
Jay-Jay Okocha.
As we've discussed before, there is aggression from or towards any side of an argument online about literally anything if you choose to allow it on your timeline.
For example, I'm about to call Spikey a massive cunt for suggesting that the excellent Jay-Jay Okocha's name be invoked in the same way that West 'Am's Mark Noble is to signify a dull conversation.
Oi, you massive cunt, what you playing at?
*Contacts Brian Cox to have Ian removed from this timeline*
If Mark Noble was called Marco Nobele, he'd be regarded a great midfielder.
Maybe he needs to up his social media game.
Get the lads giving him a yoof-y nickname.
M-Nobz.
Hm, maybe not M-Nobz.
My fiancée's sister's fiancé (my brother-in-law to be? I don't fucking know) is called M. Nobbs. True story.
You have to elongate that M, surely.
An update from the Conference.
Thought it'd be the Nobz you wanted elongated. #oioi
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-58800329
This new 'Be patient, children, we're reshaping the economy' approach to things is pretty lol. If it proves to be right then they are geniuses of the century. If not, well, yeah. The problem is I just can't see business giving up its addiction to cheap labour as easily as they would like. Business has been so trained towards efficiency (as opposed to resilience) for 50 years that they don't know any other way of doing things.
If Boris says it'll be fine then I for one trust him.
Watching the Blair & Brown docu on iplayer, it's very well made and really illuminates how dogshit recent Labour leaders have been.
Brown in some other decade would have been a great Labour PM. The 1930s, perhaps. But not in the 2000s. Blair is a simpering twat but he was there at the perfect moment.
Brown's biggest problem was having to follow him.
Browns biggest problem is that the moment he got into power he abandoned everything that got him there in the first place because he was scared.
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