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View Poll Results: Who will receive your vote?

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  • Theresa May's Conservatives

    10 22.73%
  • Jeremy Corbyn's Labour

    23 52.27%
  • Tim Farron's Liberal Democrats

    3 6.82%
  • Paul Nuttall's UKIP

    0 0%
  • 2 people's Greens

    1 2.27%
  • Nicholas Durgeon's Scottish Nationalists

    1 2.27%
  • Satan's Sinn Fein

    0 0%
  • Dr Ian Paisley's DUP

    0 0%
  • Some other bunch of nonces

    2 4.55%
  • I'm foreign, but I wish I were an Englishman

    4 9.09%
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Thread: UK General Election 2017 - 8 June

  1. #8251
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    The defence rests.

  2. #8252
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I never got that one. Following its argument, how can some loser cartoonist judge the performance of a government minister?

  3. #8253
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I never got that one. Following its argument, how can some loser cartoonist judge the performance of a government minister?
    What qualifications do government ministers have to make the policy decisions they do? Grant Shapps is making the decisions for the entire of British transport and his CV is just a load of fraudulent business ventures in a totally unrelated field.

    This is how we end up with the likes of Chris Grayling continually running departments into the ground and Sir Eric Pickles getting a knighthood for spunking £60k on biscuits.

  4. #8254
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Nobody is ever qualified for any government job if you think about it like that (civil service included beyond specialist technical roles). What qualifies somebody to be Prime Minister?

  5. #8255
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Eating a sandwich without looking silly.

  6. #8256
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    In hindsight he got stitched up by undercooked bacon didn't he? He had to eat it carefully to keep it intact.

  7. #8257
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The nasal voice would have done him in anyway. Imagine that voice reeling off the death tolls. You'd have 100% compliance just to make it stop.

  8. #8258
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Now Then.


  9. #8259
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Unfortunate.

  10. #8260
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I love that the huns are actually buying this tunnel thing. So easy.

    “Britain DOES care about us!”

  11. #8261
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Tunnel thing? As in a tunnel from Britain to NI?

  12. #8262
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Tunnel thing? As in a tunnel from Britain to NI?


  13. #8263
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Sounds like a great idea. It's not as if we're in a global recession with record debt levels or anything.

  14. #8264
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I would say that makes it the ideal time to do it insofar as what's another twenty billion? Normally lol no thanks, although I would take it over high-speed rail.

  15. #8265
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    And more to the point, it's not like Brexit magic'd a giant wall into place and digging under it is the only option. Any problem blocking trade is bureaucratic and you can't tunnel under bureaucracy.

  16. #8266
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Sounds like a great idea. It's not as if we're in a global recession with record debt levels or anything.
    Yeah but Matt Hancock's got a mate who makes horse saddles who's well up for an undersea tunnel contract.

  17. #8267
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'd build it for sure, just so we can then blow it up in the next war against them.

  18. #8268
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    But risky building it from Scotland anyway.

  19. #8269
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    They manage bureaucracy at the Channel Tunnel. The Ian Paisley Tunnel, with the Edward Carson Terminal at Carlisle, and all the special trains named after various paramilitaries and the like.

  20. #8270
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    But risky building it from Scotland anyway.
    Almost worth it for the inevitable cluster-fuck alone.

    Finish building in 2028, Scottish independence and rejoining the EU in 2029.

  21. #8271
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    It would be less lol than the Norwegian one that nobody will use.

  22. #8272
    I used to be funny.
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    One thing I'd like to do is drive a golf cart down the channel tunnel. This could be that but with more drinking.

  23. #8273
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Ultimately we need to build one from Bristol to America, which goes directly underneath Ireland.

  24. #8274
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Ultimately we need to build one from Bristol to America, which goes directly underneath Ireland.
    Probably be worth investing in a map.

  25. #8275
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Have you heard about corners?

  26. #8276
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Limp wristed attempt at a save. DeGea-esque.

  27. #8277
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It would have to go from around Liverpool if you want it in a straight line via Ireland and there is nobody that wants that.

  28. #8278
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    It would have to go from around Liverpool if you want it in a straight line via Ireland and there is nobody that wants that.
    If he was really thinking he’d be starting somewhere in the north east and going under Liverpool too.

  29. #8279
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Halifax to Halifax.

  30. #8280
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Sponsored by Halifax. With Howard on the front of every train.

  31. #8281
    I used to be funny.
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    And the tunnel is made of people. Moon River plays throughout. You get £100 when you switch rails.

  32. #8282
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Sponsored by Halifax. With Howard on the front of every train.
    Howard's Gigantic Fudge Tunnel

    WHO GIVES YOU EXTRA

  33. #8283
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I would say that makes it the ideal time to do it insofar as what's another twenty billion? Normally lol no thanks, although I would take it over high-speed rail.
    A never ending mess of multi-billion pound rail projects is my busy work until retirement, thank you very much.

  34. #8284
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The Keir 'Sir Keir Starmer' Starmer set-piece RELAUNCH sounds like a bust. A national savings scheme that would cost the country money for no benefit, and some purple vibes behind his holding a fart in face. It can't be a coincidence that it was done on the two year anniversary of The Independent Group/Change UK being founded. They won't break thirty-five per cent at the next election.

  35. #8285
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Why is he doing it? No one gives a shit about economic policy or ideas now. It's covid covid covid until it's gone, then he can start flag shagging and coming up with ideas.

  36. #8286
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Did he not just think to kite fly it in the telegraph first rather than embarrassingly make a video?

  37. #8287
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Probably tried the Independent but found they were too busy doing 24 hour coverage of that Trump casino being blown up yesterday

  38. #8288
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The government will get to set the terms of reference after its ill-gotten vaccine bounce, so it makes sense in theory to make a noise; but he's probably the least credible person in the world to advocate for any new way of doing things, so we just get to watch the Labour Party do 2011-15 again.

  39. #8289
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Should be able to fit more M&S and Little Chefs on this one.



  40. #8290
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    This is just the latest version of when he wanted to float an airport on the Thames Estuary.

  41. #8291
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I can confidently say he’s never driven out to the reaches of the Ards peninsula.

  42. #8292
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    That makes no sense whatsoever. Heysham to Liverpool is about forty miles, so why would you dig another megabillion quid tunnel as an option? It's either made up, or something the civil service have come up with to make the other ideas look better.

  43. #8293
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I wonder if any of them have ever tried to drive to Stranraer (as I have). It's about a billion miles from the English border and similar from Glasgow. I had to turn back halfway due to a storm.

  44. #8294
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I think it's cool and they should do it.

  45. #8295
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Labour calling for an increase in Corporation Tax is interesting (and expected). It would do no harm, apparently.

    Errr, it might to the ones that haven't been able to trade for a year, love. And it might sting a bit if they start setting up in Switzerland instead.

  46. #8296
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I'm sure they'd still prefer the lower corporation tax available in the UK than other countries.

  47. #8297
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Depends how much it gets put up. The Labour bod seemed to want it on par with the EU.

  48. #8298
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Hang on, I thought Keir had said he opposed corporation tax rises the other day.

  49. #8299
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Just checked, it was Labour MP Laura Farris. It was on Politics live at 12.

  50. #8300
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    She's Tory. The world is now officially upside down.

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