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View Poll Results: Who will receive your vote?

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  • Theresa May's Conservatives

    10 22.73%
  • Jeremy Corbyn's Labour

    23 52.27%
  • Tim Farron's Liberal Democrats

    3 6.82%
  • Paul Nuttall's UKIP

    0 0%
  • 2 people's Greens

    1 2.27%
  • Nicholas Durgeon's Scottish Nationalists

    1 2.27%
  • Satan's Sinn Fein

    0 0%
  • Dr Ian Paisley's DUP

    0 0%
  • Some other bunch of nonces

    2 4.55%
  • I'm foreign, but I wish I were an Englishman

    4 9.09%
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Thread: UK General Election 2017 - 8 June

  1. #6501
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    She's smashed it. Properly dog shit songs released as she goes and fannies about across Europe on someone else's expense. Great effort.

  2. #6502
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Big up the PARLIAMENTARY ARITHMETIC brigade trying to work out how you form a 'Unity Government' out of the sweaties, the Liberal Democrats, and a list of future Labour leaders from 2012.
    Even bigger up Jezza and his 'Make me Prime Minister and I'll sort it' proposal. Between that shit and Prime Minister Boris Johnson posting daily reminders of the clock ticking in what I can only assume is a deliberately Donald Trump-like fashion it's really peaking out.

  3. #6503
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Jeremy is ticking the clock down as well. That said, Boris probably needs to call that election pronto or else he might lose it. Not sure even Deadly Dom can put a positive spin on Dover seizing up just before polling day.

  4. #6504
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The plot-losing over him is good as well, with actual professional opinion-havers unironically criticising him for being unelected. It really is the best thing ever.

  5. #6505
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    He is quietly summarily sacking loads of SpAds and getting the remainder to rat on their bosses as well. I would love to be a fly on the wall. All these people lived by the sword for two decades but now they are crying about dying by it.

  6. #6506
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I read his post-referendum blog again at work yesterday. I reckon he's only took to wearing them weird tinted paedophile glasses to annoy certain people.

  7. #6507
    Better Than You Henry's Avatar
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    Amdst this utter shit, nobody seems to have noticed that Scumbag Duncan Smith declared that they were going to raise the pension age to 75.

    "Removing obstacles to work", he called it.

  8. #6508
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It was just a wanky think tank 'report', and Iain Duncan Smith hasn't been at pensions for over three years. Do you get your news by family chain e-mails these days?

  9. #6509
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Think tank is probably a kite flyer and then when we only have to work until 74 it'll look like a result.

  10. #6510
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It's all pretty unsustainable, so we probably won't even get that.

  11. #6511
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I still find it incredible that I live in a country where I can get 70% of my previous salary (anything <100k a year) for 18 months if I get the sack while the same sacking in the UK would literally bankrupt me. There's got to be a better way.

  12. #6512
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Is the better way vast amounts of under the table undeclared money siphoned out of other nations, cuckoo clocks or chocolate?

  13. #6513
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Is the better way vast amounts of under the table undeclared money siphoned out of other nations, cuckoo clocks or chocolate?
    How would the general populace have access to undeclared money?

    I will duly note that the UK has almost half our GDP per capita but there's got to be a middle ground between me getting 4k or 288 a month.

  14. #6514
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Well you get your giro in nazi gold so....

  15. #6515
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    How would the general populace have access to undeclared money?
    They work for the banks that conceal all that foreign wealth and/or Nazi gold?

  16. #6516
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    They work for the banks that conceal all that foreign wealth and/or Nazi gold?
    Private banks pay almost no tax because by definition, their money is private. The finance sector is only 11% of the countries economy and less than 5% of the workforce. Way more output comes from Pharmaceuticals, Watches and Nestle.

    I pay less in income tax than the UK, the state takes a way larger chunk every month than the UK does for our equivalent of National Insurance though and my employer has to match that.

    I'm not saying that the UK should just copy Switzerland but there must be a system where medium term unemployment doesn't result in destitution.

  17. #6517
    I used to be funny.
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    There's never been a better time for Britain to pivot into a tax haven. Fuck, just invade Switzerland. That only needs six tanks.

  18. #6518
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    It's your own fault for losing your job so you deserve to starve to death and be on Jeremy Kyle.

  19. #6519
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    There's never been a better time for Britain to pivot into a tax haven. Fuck, just invade Switzerland. That only needs six tanks.
    We have a bigger infantry army, armed and trained civillians, brand new fighter jets, every bridge has remote controlled detonators attached and there's a nuclear bunker in pretty much every house/office. Even our mountains are kitted out for war.



    Good luck. It'd probably be quicker and easier to take Germany.

  20. #6520
    I used to be funny.
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    I like the idea of the Swiss blowing up their own bridges.

  21. #6521
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    I like the idea of the Swiss blowing up their own bridges.
    It's almost stupid how prepared they are. 70% of the food is grown in-country just in case they're cut off from the rest of Europe in a war scenario. Even though Switzerland has invaded more countries than times they've been invaded since becoming a country (All military skirmishes getting drunk and accidentally invading Lichtenstein but still).

  22. #6522
    I used to be funny.
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    I'm annoyed they bottled the Nuclear Weapons ban, citing security concerns.

  23. #6523
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I've got a bunker if you can make it here within the 30 minute warning.

  24. #6524
    I used to be funny.
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    Is that the line you gave Igor?

  25. #6525
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Phonics going full Mert, balls deep in a Cuckoo clock.

  26. #6526
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    We could easily nuke Switzerland off the map mate so...

  27. #6527
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    We could easily nuke Switzerland off the map mate so...
    I live off tinned beans for a few years and then get to do Fallout but in real life. Sounds cool.

  28. #6528
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The Swansea flashbacks would get you before the radiation did.

  29. #6529
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    every bridge has remote controlled detonators attached
    That doesn't sound like a good idea.

  30. #6530
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    We could easily nuke Switzerland off the map mate so...
    If we didn't do it over Toblerone then we never will.

  31. #6531
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    That doesn't sound like a good idea.
    You'd rather be right up close?

  32. #6532
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    You'd rather be right up close?
    No, I mean having explosives on all your bridges all the time.

  33. #6533
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    You'd rather be right up close?
    You can take the boy out of Northern Ireland....

  34. #6534
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    No, I mean having explosives on all your bridges all the time.
    How else do you propose to blow them all up?

  35. #6535
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    No, I mean having explosives on all your bridges all the time.
    Turns out it was a cold war thing and they removed the last of them in 2015. Shame.

    Interesting article on it, https://io9.gizmodo.com/how-switzerl...archit-5919581

  36. #6536
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Turns out it was a cold war thing and they removed the last of them in 2015. Shame.

    Interesting article on it, https://io9.gizmodo.com/how-switzerl...archit-5919581
    Yeah, I googled it as well. Found some Telegraph article that talked about removing the last one along the border with Germany but they reckon there are still other ones elsewhere.

  37. #6537
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    It's your own fault for losing your job so you deserve to starve to death and be on Jeremy Kyle.
    And even that's been cancelled. Desolate.

  38. #6538
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  39. #6539
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Top move that.

  40. #6540
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Having someone from a safe seat who has literally never faced a real election shutting down Parliament to do what he wants is properly taking back control.

  41. #6541
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Might start a GoFundMe to have him chained up and launched into the sea.

    I feel like if it got enough money to do it then really I'd just be bowing to the will of the people, and we know that Boris is all about that.

  42. #6542
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    It's a bold move that's basically shit or bust.

    If it ends in bust then I've no idea what the parliamentary position after that will look like.

  43. #6543
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's the opposite of bold, they know they have the Remainers bent over and are just applying the lube.

  44. #6544
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Off to Twitter I go.

  45. #6545
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    It's the opposite of bold, they know they have the Remainers bent over and are just applying the lube.
    I'm not sure they do. Do you think we're definitely leaving come what may on 31st October?

  46. #6546
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Yes. If we don't, it will be because the various parties/factions of Remain manage to be about 400% more united than they have been at any time up until now.

  47. #6547
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Oh good, it's happening.

    Silly old cow.

  48. #6548
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Mate.

  49. #6549
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    Even some of his cabinet don’t support the move, so my contention is he’s probably shit the bed on this one.

    We’ll see.

  50. #6550
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    He has only shat the bed if his opponents (all of them) manage to agree on an alternative, and the calculation is that they won't.

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