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View Poll Results: Who will receive your vote?

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  • Theresa May's Conservatives

    10 22.73%
  • Jeremy Corbyn's Labour

    23 52.27%
  • Tim Farron's Liberal Democrats

    3 6.82%
  • Paul Nuttall's UKIP

    0 0%
  • 2 people's Greens

    1 2.27%
  • Nicholas Durgeon's Scottish Nationalists

    1 2.27%
  • Satan's Sinn Fein

    0 0%
  • Dr Ian Paisley's DUP

    0 0%
  • Some other bunch of nonces

    2 4.55%
  • I'm foreign, but I wish I were an Englishman

    4 9.09%
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Thread: UK General Election 2017 - 8 June

  1. #5351
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Why do I care what happens in PMQs it's always so bad.

    Simon Hoare, a Conservative, says Lent is becoming a time for doing something new and positive. Would it be a good idea for MPs to take up supporting the government?


    Yes, says May. Then MPs could give something up - EU membership.

  2. #5352
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Bit of nominative determinism in action there.

  3. #5353
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I like how he described a thousand+ year old tradition as 'becoming a time for doing something'

  4. #5354
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47482048

    Oh dear. What do you reckon Herr @Henry?

  5. #5355
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    I like how he described a thousand+ year old tradition as 'becoming a time for doing something'
    Isn't lent famously a time for doing less things? I thought that was the whole point?

  6. #5356
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    Isn't lent famously a time for doing less things? I thought that was the whole point?
    the act of giving up something is still doing something.

  7. #5357
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Phonics having another mare.

  8. #5358
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Phonics having another mare.
    You can't declare who is or isn't having a mare for at least a week.

    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    What's the obvious joke there?

  9. #5359
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Oh no, I'm not a Prodigy fan.

  10. #5360
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Don't try to wriggle out of it. Everybody - fucking everybody - knows that song and the 'band' that made it.

  11. #5361
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I only get it now actually. I thought Jimmy's explanation was the right one.

  12. #5362
    I used to be funny.
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    If Javid loses his job over the kid dying, I'll be sorely disappointed.

  13. #5363
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    There are previously untold levels of projection in this headline.

  14. #5364
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    So what happens when this loses tonight?

  15. #5365
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    So what happens when this loses tonight?
    Brexit.

  16. #5366
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    She will either 'take no deal off the table', or seek to extend A50.

    Or maybe sing Sinatra at the despatch box. Who can tell.

  17. #5367
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Brexit means Brexit.

  18. #5368
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Someone sign her off sick ffs.

  19. #5369
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    So it's either "No Deal" Brexit (means Brexit) or "Continuously extend Article 50 until the end of time" Brexit (means Brexit).

    What a shower of shit this mob of cunts are. 2 years and the square root of fuck all has been accomplished.

    I don't even care where we go from here. Stay. Leave. Just do fucking one of them. Closure means closure.

  20. #5370
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    My (probably bullshit) reading is that ends it and we'll be Remaining, one way or the other. ERG have fucked it.

    An extension is pointless because it doesn't change any of the facts. Either the ERG have to vote for the bird in the hand, or we won't leave because there simply isn't support for their position either in Parliament or in the country.

    Thank goodness May called that shite election in 2017, or else we'd have a forced general next year.
    Last edited by Jimmy Floyd; 12-03-2019 at 07:37 PM.

  21. #5371
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    No Brexit is better than a bad Brexit, to coin a phrase. I would rather see it binned and ride the seethe all the way to the Fuhrerbunker than go for some watery wank.

  22. #5372
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Now that I've seen from my job just how much effort the Belgians, Dutch and German business communities are putting into 'Brekshit readinessh' I would quite like us to remain just to waste all their useless guilders.

  23. #5373
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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  24. #5374
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    No deal is better than a bad deal and all that.

  25. #5375
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Just cancel the whole thing.

  26. #5376
    I used to be funny.
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    Yup. May calls an election, says she's out and cancels article 50. The next lot can trigger it if they wish. And they won't. None of the cunts want this and the ones that do don't want it the way it'll be delivered. Fuck 'em all.

  27. #5377
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazuuurk View Post
    Snoop Mogg

  28. #5378
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    If my reading of the situation is correct, which it won't be, the MP's will vote against a No Deal Brexit (means Brexit) tonight, and with the EU saying they will not extend A50 without "a credible justification", there really is very little room for leaving at all. Can't leave without a deal, the MP's have blocked it, can't stay without... well, staying, really. Odds on for a 2nd Referendum? I don't see what option would be left.

  29. #5379
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I would say parliament rejecting the Withdrawal Agreement is a fairly credible justification. You're right though in that barring other developments current law is that we leave on 29 March, so they will call it off in some way if there's no extension.

    Also, an extension will change nothing. For us to leave the ERG have to accept a deal, which they will not under any circumstances, so we will not leave.

  30. #5380
    Romulus Augustulus ItalAussie's Avatar
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    I realise it's not what people are most interested in, but British universities are firmly in "prepare for death" mode. They're essentially planning for research funding to dry up massively. The Tories have said that won't happen, but I truly can't understand how.

  31. #5381
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Whether the ERG accept a deal or not is entirely irrelevant.

    Anything that sates them (or even looks like it might) would simply see defections from somewhere else to scotch the arithmetic. The commons as currently constituted simply will not vote to leave in any circumstances.

    A second referendum only changes anything if remain manages to win it, and god knows what the question would be. The only viable options are stay or no deal as neither of those outcomes require the established political class to do anything (perhaps you could say those were, in fact the options last time), but I can't see people being allowed to vote to leave without a deal even if there were a majority for such a position.

    So, if there is another vote it'll be remain v remain 2.0 and remain will win, with a large majority, on a pitiful turnout.

    And in the medium term you'll have to deal with the rise of obergrupenfuhrer Farage and his disgruntled minions.

    Either that or a return to radical, isolationist collectivism under Jez.

    Whatever happens, deal, no deal, no brexit, nothing much is really going to change.

  32. #5382
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ItalAussie View Post
    I realise it's not what people are most interested in, but British universities are firmly in "prepare for death" mode. They're essentially planning for research funding to dry up massively. The Tories have said that won't happen, but I truly can't understand how.
    They'll probably benefit fairly nicely from the coming Remain Boom (unless Tommy Robinson blows them all up).

  33. #5383
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I wonder what happens to my work permit come the 29th. That'll be fun. I think it should hold out though because I'm on a Permis C, think a lot of the Permis B's will be sent back though. British Embassy still not arranged that meeting as they don't have a scooby doo what'll happen.

  34. #5384
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Nothing, because we won't leave.

  35. #5385
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I've been operating on the basis that if there's an opportunity for the worst political generation in millenia to trip over their own dicks, they'll take it. It's worked so far.

  36. #5386
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Yeah, all these wankers wanting 'certainty'. What was more certain than the British state fucking a major project up?

  37. #5387
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I'll never know how they managed to fuck up that NHS IT project up so bad. How did you end up spending billions of pounds on a Google Doc that didn't work?

  38. #5388
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Boris' haircut makes him look like he's dying.

  39. #5389
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Boris' haircut makes him look like he's dying.
    Dying to be prime minister.

  40. #5390
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Swish.

  41. #5391
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Have they voted yet so we can get on with this? I need to get insurance green cards and all sorted.

  42. #5392
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Fucking hell. 308 - 312? I thought it was going to be more like 100 - 500.

  43. #5393
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    That was the amendment to not have no deal in any circumstances. The government are now three line whipping against their own (now amended) motion to avoid that. Who knows what is going on.

  44. #5394
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Will May survive this?

  45. #5395
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Will any of us?

  46. #5396
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Also, can someone translate this into English for me?


  47. #5397
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Nobody from her own party will touch the job until this is all concluded and there can't/won't be an election. Unless she says 'fuck it, I'm done' and walks away but you'd think she would have done that already if she was going to.

  48. #5398
    Senior Member Vercetti's Avatar
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    Sabrina died?

  49. #5399
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Three line whip is when the party tries to compel its own members to vote a certain way, although they seem to have issued this about 20 seconds before the vote so who knows how effective it will be.

  50. #5400
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Speaking of Elections. That idea to have one was a fucking absolute brain box of an idea wasn't it? Almost as good an idea as the one to have a referendum in the first place.

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