Shiii.
Shiii.
Currently suffering with thrush and wind. Ey up.
I don't remember the last time I had to go to the doctor, as a result I have no idea who my GP is. I've now been referred to 'my GP' by a nurse at the walk in centre, anyone know if I have to go through some laborious registration process before I'll get seen? If it's simple then I'll just go to the nearest one rather than trying to find out where I was last registered.
I switched a few years ago as the old one was old/fat/useless/dead and it was relatively laborious, from what I remember. I haven't seen the new one since so it was well worth it.Originally Posted by Disco
When I had to do that, I just lied, told them I'd already registered and they shrugged it off.
My right hand feels like it's coming down with some RSI or something. One finger's actually swollen so I ... probably should see someone about that.
It'll be fine, you just need a girlfriend.
I have an ingrown, infected big toe nail. Soaking it as we speak and will lift it and stick some cotton wool under it afterwards. Brutal.
When I first heard about that being a thing I couldn't sleep for days.
Fucking vile.
Either you're a mong who can't cut his toenails, wears his shoes too tight or has a fungal infection.
Freak.
I stubbed it and the nail cracked so I cut it off stupidly which resulted in the infection down the side.
Was is Sandman who posted pics of his post-op toes? Horrendous looking things.
Can I also point out that FUCK YOU MAHOW.
How on earth do you manage to successfully out-freak Mahow?
So for the past 3-4 days my balls have been hurting. Like, not massively painful, but noticeable when I have nothing to distract myself with. It feels like that feeling you get when you've been kicked in the balls but at 1% intensity.
Gonna book a doctor's appointment. Hope I don't have to have them lopped off.
I get random pains now and then, and I've had it in the balls. Sometimes they're quite consistent for a day or two, but I've never felt a lump or anything.
I've not felt any lumps, but still. I had gynecomastia as a kid and they tested for bollock cancer at that time - other than that I've had no scares.
So anyway the wife's Grandad had a massive Ischemic stroke, and lost all feeling of his entire right side, including swallowing. Took the shine off my promotion, the bastard. So instead of celebrating I spent the early evening in a high dependency ward.
Don't worry, my dad had the same stroke with very similar symptoms, and he was able to recover sufficiently to fuck one of the nurses that came to give him his meds and stuff in his sheltered accommodation so he'll probably be alright.
Seriously though, sorry to hear that MJ
He's a really unfit, fat 78 year old who's already had a heart bypass so I doubt that.
Probably some deviants disease.
Also, sorry to hear that, Magic. My mam's had a mini-stroke (years ago) and a further scare recently. I feel like her brain's going to be the thing to finish her off. Her epilepsy makes it hard to determine what's a seizure and what isn't. Man, these are shit things to think about.
Seemingly at a complete loss for what is actually wrong with my foot my doctor has ordered an x-ray, I'm almost certain he simply doesn't believe that I haven't whacked it or injured it in some way. It's not like that's the kind of thing you just forget about, or indeed lie to your doctor about.
Still, on the upside I've never seen any of my bones before (unless you count that time I tore the skin off my kneecap and thought I could see it) so it should be interesting at least, and with any luck it shows something up because I'm extremely bored of having a stupid gammy foot.
I thought this had subsided after a couple of days soaking for 20 mins in salty water. But it looks to have shifted actually underneath my nail as in a large yellow pool. Tried to burst it last night by squeezing the side and the nail itself but just really hurt my toe.
When people have blood trapped under their nail you can get a pin or the tip of a straightened out paperclip red hot and burn a hole through to release it. No idea if anyone would do the same for that or if it's best left alone.
Apparently it hurts like shit, also.
Maybe just see the gp.
I don't think 'fuck that' quite covers it.
Pussy.
Stuff going wrong with your toes doesn't matter because your toes are right down there. Just ignore them and they'll be fine.
Balls still feeling funny. Got a doctor's appointment booked for next Monday. I'm a bit worried, although Google reckons it probably isn't cancer as that tends to be painless. I reckon it might be Epididymitis
It does hurt, a much better way is to use a drill bit and spin it with your fingers until you get through the nail.
There you go lolson, you big gay.
I'll just get a hacksaw and saw my foot off. How about that? Freaks.
Fine, suffer in pain then you shit-toed mong.
I remember when Darius Vassell read about the drill bit advice but didn't realise you were supposed to take it out the drill. Bloke just drilled a hole in his toe.
I've done it for other people before and revving up the drill always shits them right up.
You monster.
And yet they thanked me afterwards.
When I did a workmates big toe I maintained right up until the last minute that you had to do it with the actual drill. Fair play to him, he was still willing to go through with it.
I bet Fritzl's kids also thanked him afterwards.
I used to cut my nails like a twat, so I became a bit of an expert in staving off these sort of things. You need to cut under the corner of the nail and then dig/pull it all out.
My girlfriend's little sister had blood trapped under her nail and her dad did the red hot pin trick to get it out.
Apparently the screams were quite something.
There's really no way to tell that story without it sounding like something from operation yewtree, but there we are.
Probably burst her hymen.
I'm going to use this thread to full effect because this stupid ankle thing is driving me mad. So far it's in both ankles/feet and has done for a knee, my back, and today my right arm.
It normally all loosens up through the day but mornings can fuck right off.
My balls are fine
Doctor said it might be a very slight testicular torsion that sorted itself out, or an inflaming of the tubes for some reason. Either way it's gone away over the last couple of days. She said there's a possible chance that I have chlamydia and I gave a urine sample, although I've done gotten laid in 3 months, used a condom, and she says it usually comes on quicker than that.
My left leg's going through a crisis. Originally it felt like I'd bruised it right on the shin. Turns out my shoes (after a month's wear) have decided to grip my foot in such a way it nips the nerve. Odd. On the plus side, my insomnia's shifted. It's been a hell of a month. The plus side of this nerve bollocks is it seems to have fixed the bother in my hip which was the last remnant April's accident. Silver linings, lads.
I got a nose hair trimmer and went at it today.
Nose feels really strange now, especially when I pinch it.
Woke up at 4:30am with a banging headache and running nose. I only got four hours sleep the night before, so there's no excuse for not being able to get back to sleep after less than six hours. Meant to be going out tonight, so think I'll go to the gym and knacker myself out then try and nap this afternoon.
@Magic was right, you gammy fuck.
Fucking head cold back as bad as ever after thinking it was gone last Friday. Drugs may be called for.
Can someone explain how a 'head cold' is different from a 'cold'. Is it just how old people say it?
Full on cold would be sore throat and being achey and all. A head cold is just a bunged up nose and that, really. I think. That's how I'd differentiate them anyway.
Oh, so he's just being a pussy.
Basically yes.
Just sinus pain, watery eyes, constant sneezing, and drippy snots. Head.
It's still a cold. It's not like he's claiming he has flu.
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