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Thread: Health and sickness. A place to moan.

  1. #1051
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Post pictures

  2. #1052
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Gremlin

  3. #1053
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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  4. #1054
    I used to be funny.
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    Draw a smiley face on it before it goes.

  5. #1055
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    I went to the toilet and had a huge fart, did one wipe just to be sure and the toilet paper came back covered in blood.

    Hmmm

  6. #1056
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Rip

  7. #1057
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Rip
    I can't tell if this is intended or not but I went to the doctor once convinced I had bum cancer and he told me that it was just one of these.

  8. #1058
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Had the shits since Monday. This morning has been the worst by far. Gonna have to move a TV into the toilet at this rate.

  9. #1059
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I’ve a high temperature, shortness of breath, and a cough. Any ideas?

  10. #1060
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Hayfever?

  11. #1061
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I’ve a high temperature, shortness of breath, and a cough. Any ideas?
    I've been short of breath to the point I've had to be sitting or standing up to try and take a deep one and naturally your mind goes there.

    I also have hayfever.

  12. #1062
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Those are the big three, Giggs. Don't you get your test results back today?

    Doesn't look great for you either, Tim.

    Or Spikey.

  13. #1063
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    Those are the big three, Giggs. Don't you get your test results back today?

    Doesn't look great for you either, Tim.

    Or Spikey.
    No it’s still marked as in the lab. I’ll wake up to a notification one of these mornings and go top myself.

  14. #1064
    I used to be funny.
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    Seems excessive but at least you won't go down as a Covid death.

  15. #1065
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Fucking cat bit me. Proper bite like. He was going mental at another cat outside and I tried to lift him away from the window.

    Is my arm going to get infected and fall off?

  16. #1066
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    When did you last get a tetanus jab?

  17. #1067
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I'm not sure I've ever had one.

  18. #1068
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Not as filthy as a dog bite but it could still be infected.

  19. #1069
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I've never been bitten by a dog.

    Dogs > cats.

  20. #1070
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Rip.

  21. #1071
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    I'm not sure I've ever had one.
    You will have had and it'd be extremely unlikely you haven't had your lifetime's supply by now (unless you're some sort of anti-vac wacko, in which case enjoy your poor life choice).

  22. #1072
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Yeah, having googled it, it seems you get it as a kid.

    I'm obviously not an anti-vaxer.

  23. #1073
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Last tetanus jab was 2002 so booked in for another tomorrow. Doctor said there shouldn't be much else to worry about but if there's any redness or swelling around it, he can give me antibiotics.

  24. #1074
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Merc'd by a cat and now having to cover up his Antivax beliefs.

  25. #1075
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Ffs

  26. #1076
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    If your last booster was less than 10 years ago you normally get another one. Enjoy, my last one hurt like fuck but they did insist on doing it on my ravaged arm.

  27. #1077
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    More than 10 years ago, you mean? The doctor said it lasts 10 years so that's why I need another.

  28. #1078
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Sorry yes, more than 10.

  29. #1079
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Don't apologise to the needle dodger.

  30. #1080
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Fucking cat bit me. Proper bite like. He was going mental at another cat outside and I tried to lift him away from the window.

    Is my arm going to get infected and fall off?
    My grandad got bitten by his chihuahua and he had to have the infected finger removed.

  31. #1081
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Rat bites are bad too then.

  32. #1082
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Most likely your arms and legs and head will fall off.

  33. #1083
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Most likely your arms and legs and head will fall off.
    Look I can take the shit from everyone else but you're a doctor, please reassure me.

  34. #1084
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Lol you'll be fine.

  35. #1085
    I used to be funny.
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    If that cat was radioactive, you'd be in for some superpowers.

  36. #1086
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    *Invites Boyd's mum and dad into the Family Room*

  37. #1087
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    No relatives allowed at the moment, unless Boyd's under 16.

  38. #1088
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Even with his 'issues'?

  39. #1089
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    @randomlegend the skin around these bites is kind of yellowing. Are they getting infected?

    There's no swelling and they're not sore to touch or anything.

  40. #1090
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Last edited by Spikey M; 27-06-2020 at 05:28 PM.

  41. #1091
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Will the pub be open for the funeral?

  42. #1092
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Social distancing shouldn't be an issue.

  43. #1093
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Will the pub be open for the funeral?
    There'll be tea and sandwiches in the church hall after the service like any good Presbyterian funeral.

  44. #1094
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Social distancing shouldn't be an issue.

  45. #1095
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    There'll be tea and sandwiches in the church hall after the service like any good Presbyterian funeral.
    Convert so we can have a session.

  46. #1096
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    @randomlegend the skin around these bites is kind of yellowing. Are they getting infected?

    There's no swelling and they're not sore to touch or anything.
    Red, hot, swollen, painful or producing pus are the signs to watch out for. Yellowing is probably just where it bruised a bit and is going through the normal bruise colour sequence.

    Had a lol at a blood sample request today where someone had written "pussy tonsils".

  47. #1097
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    I've gone through an entire loo roll in the space of a few hours.

  48. #1098
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Do you end up with the shits every weekend?

  49. #1099
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    Maybe shouldn’t have gone back to the same Indian.

  50. #1100
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Do you end up with the shits every weekend?
    Pretty much.

    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Maybe shouldn’t have gone back to the same Indian.
    I actually bit the bullet on Thursday night. This is something else.

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