Originally Posted by Mahow
tickled me.
Nearly got caught wanking by a group of friends when i was younger. Luckily the house phone rang seconds before they started peering in through the window.
Anyone ever caught someone wanking?
.....
I got caught fucking a girl on a one night stand on the sofa in her living room whilst my mate came into the house with a pizza and her two mates.
I hope that one turned full orgy. And with pizza; result.
Fraid not. They all came in and sat down on the sofa, whilst i pulled up my trousers and she saw to her knickers. It was all a tad awkward after that.
Another time, i fucked a girl at Alton Towers.
How did he react when he put them on?
That's almost worse than Simon getting his friend's used condom tossed onto his face.
Splash Mounting? [sic]
Are we just listing times we've had sex?
It had dried so he had no idea.
I lost my virginity on 18th September 2005.
Why would he not wear his own dirty socks (or none at all for that matter) before deciding to just take someone else's who presumably wouldn't have a spare pair with them?
It doesn't make sense at all.
My favourite meme that. The best.
He's friends with Igor though, I didn't want to rule out rank deviancy or serious mental issues.
Own socks dirty........wear friend's dirty socks instead.
Yeah I don't get the reasoning either.
I had a orange juice drinking contest when I stayed over at a friend's house and won, but then pissed about 2 litres all over his room in the middle of the night. Luckily it was basically pure water so once it dried I got away with it.
There's also no fucking way you wouldn't notice. Anyone who remembers 'wet dreams' knows how crispy your hidden undercrackers would get.
Last time you told that story you deliberately spilled a full glass in the morning to hide the piss.
I assume his socks from the previous day had been chucked in the wash as well. He's also a fucking weirdo and probably just wore them to wind me up.
He sort of has previous; when we were 18 he was staying at my mummy's house, visiting from his childhood home in Wales. We'd had a night out, got home 1ish, I'd put him in the spare room which also doubles up as an overspill wardrobe for rarely worn clothes, electric cables etc.
At 4am I heard a bang on my bedroom door, and he walked into my bedroom wearing one of my mum's dresses, and my other mate had somehow turned up as well, and was wearing a kid sized west brom shirt from when I was little and some old PE shorts. I told mate 1 to go back to bed and mate 2 to fuck off home.
Clearly they hadn't followed my instructions; my mum told me the next day that she'd been woken up by them, and had gone into the room to find them in aforementioned garments, having some sort of playfight with shaving gel which went all over the walls and on some of her clothes. I thought she was gonna fucking kill me, but she got her revenge by sickening me instead; she had a wry grin and told me that 'it sounded like they were having sex' 'ugh, gross mum, i'm pretty sure they were playfighting' 'igor, i think i know fucking when i hear it'.
I was already mortified when she followed it up with the immortal line 'there was also some sick in the toilet...a blowjob gone wrong, maybe?'.
I'm not sure why I'm still friends with these people.
Just took me 58 minutes to get home. 3.1km.
This was meant to be a quiet traffic week too
Is the 'mummy' there as a sort of incantation against having to tell a story in which your mum talks about a rough blowjob?
it still feel impure
Do you enjoy your life?
Two questions, did you ever find out if they were fucking? and is your mum fit.
Don't know why but I'm pissing myself at this comment
Don't know why but I'm pissing myself at this comment
It made me laugh too.
And me. Violent.
He's smoked another FRAUD out, so I reckon he'll enjoy it even more now.
This thread has been like the TTH of old over the last few pages. MJ
Best posterThis thread has been like the TTH of old over the last few pages. MJ
Brutal
John is like the enforcer for Lewis' autism.
...at getting a pasting from SmiffyBest poster
It was all a ruse to fire some life in to the board. My wife isn't really leaving me.
It's okay, you can move to Leeds with me and Igor.
Hammer's bedsit?
Why don't you just walk or cycle home as that seems to happen to you every week. I know you drive a car around Ireland for work, but surely you can get to the office in the morning without one.Just took me 58 minutes to get home. 3.1km.
This was meant to be a quiet traffic week too
F is for friends that do stuff together, U is for for you and me!
Don't forget your socks.
Speaking of queues, the M8 is a total lolshitfest and has been since these stupid fucking works started. Scotland's busiest motorway. Good one you cunts.
Also kettles that define watermarks for cup amounts. Maybe if your cup is a fucking espresso cup will you get 4 cups of tea from a drip of water. Stupid.
I don't always go to the office. Most mornings I go wherever from home.
It's my only vehicle too, so thre's no point in leaving it behind even if I knew I was in the office a few days.
Then I guess you just have to become a bike messenger full stop. Do you guys have Foodora? They seem to always need more people.
wat
Anywhere and anytime, Igor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfNdbYP8Hj0t=58s
Why would you do that to me?
Wait, what? People are moving to Leeds?
Maybe.
What the fuck.
She'll get a rude surprise if she thinks the weather in Devon is predictable but I suppose the cliffs are ok if you're into that kind of thing.
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