The little things in life that fuck you off

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lol at not including one of your kids because they have Downs.

He was told that if she got more than X amount that the government would effectively turn their back on her and declare her independent from the state. His accountant (who drew up his will) was absolutely fucking shit because it could have gone in a trust (and is) and they wouldn't have a problem.

I left the office in East London at just before 1am otherwise I would miss the last train home, when I left it was close to being agreed and signed.

Bitch cunt then decided she wasn't going to pay for her and her son's mediation preparation costs and attendance for solicitors and barristers (she was the only one who got one plus one for her son). That totals about £10k for her son and about £15k or so for herself. My siblings didn't get to leave the office until just after 3am.

Being a millionaire and quibbling over £25k or so having accepted that earlier.

I'm so glad that the Ukrainian cam girl decided she liked the Turk more.

[Lewis]

How come you have had to cave in then? Why would the original will have not stood up had you insisted on following it?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How come you have had to cave in then? Why would the original will have not stood up had you insisted on following it?

Had it gone to court (which was the next step) they would have then thrown out the will as it would have been deemed not fit. They would then look at my sister and say how much she would have gotten, then my little brother, then the wife (who could have conceivably gotten 50% of everything bar the big property as we'd have made it a non-matrimonial asset) and finally us.

The costs would have at least doubled (they're at just over £300k now) and we'd have been liable for all of it unless they decided that our offers to the wife were more than fair and grant her less. Plus the tax avoidance we've done would be thrown out so we'd have to pay IHT of around £600k.

Our £88k or so (more depending on how much the big property sells for) would more than likely turn to a negative figure. Despite being the most cared for in the will we were in the very worst position, everyone knew that going into the mediation (and some of the offers showcased that as we were fisted at times) and we'd have been dominated in the court.

[Magic]

My dad probably won't leave me fuck all so count yourself lucky.

[mugbull]

Why would the will be deemed not fit?

I feel like you couldve pushed back harder

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Why would the will be deemed not fit?

I feel like you couldve pushed back harder

Because it didn't make provisions for my sister with down syndrome and the fact that the wife only got half of the house in the will. The court would say that had they got married she would be entitled to 50% of the estate.

[Byron]

But that's what I don't get, how does a court decide that someone's last will and testament is not up to scratch? The reasons for someone leaving what they do should be honoured.

If that's the case why does anyone do a will? Just let the court sort it out if they are going to say wills are shite anyway.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

But that's what I don't get, how does a court decide that someone's last will and testament is not up to scratch? The reasons for someone leaving what they do should be honoured.

If that's the case why does anyone do a will? Just let the court sort it out if they are going to say wills are shite anyway.

Well exactly, it's such a system.

The inheritance act is from 1975 too so it's massively outdated and too heavily weighted for spouses.

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1975/63

Just look at the start, almost anyone can make a claim ffs.

[Pepe]

My dad probably won't leave me fuck all so count yourself lucky.

I got some Raybans and two fake Rolexes. The old car too but I gave that one to my cousin.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Oh I was also left his rolex (not fake, so suck it Pepe) but I haven't been given it yet because the wife has it right now.

[Magic]

I bet she's wearing it right now pretending to be you.

[Ian]

Does that count as another of your Failed at Not Being a Cunt moments, Magic?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just heard that she wouldn't agree to paying her son's mediation fees which was one of the main things she went mental about. So she ended up ringing her 9 year old son's litigation friend at 2 in the morning and made her agree that she could take £7,500 from her son's bank account for his mediation fees.

Fucking mental.

[Lewis]

Whichever one of you has no plans for the next eighteen years should take one for the team and kill her.

Good luck, mate.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Whichever one of you has no plans for the next eighteen years should take one for the team and kill her.

Good luck, mate.

We need to wait 7 years or we're liable for IHT...

[Lewis]

In which case start Inheritors 4 Justice and scale the London Eye dressed as Iron Man.

[Magic]

Does that count as another of your Failed at Not Being a Cunt moments, Magic?

Not really, on the contrary actually. I was going to go down the route of Mahow being left out of the will because he too has Downs Syndrome but I didn't. So there.

Good luck Mahow. I won't get anything from my dad's money because I have 2 step-sisters and a step-brother who are just as entitled as me even though their mum is thick as shit and hasn't achieved anything in life. I also have a half-brother and half-sister who are entitled to basically the lot as they are under-18. Here's hoping the cunt stays alive for another 5 years at least.

Oh and my sister too. Whatever it is all things being equal it will be divvied up 7 ways, but probably will go to my shitcunt step mum. Unless they both die at the same time.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I still can't get over the fact that she contested her own daughter's share of the life insurance policy, then took half the house away from her 9 year old son as well as £7,500 from his own bank account to pay for his mediation fees.

Meanwhile she's sitting on something like £1.2m in assets/cash plus around £50k a year income with no job.

[Spikey M]

I can't get over some 9 year old cunt having 7 and a half grand in his bank.

[Lewis]

Meanwhile she's sitting on something like £1.2m in assets/cash plus around £50k a year income with no job.

@Lofty

[igor_balis]

When my dad goes I'll definitely inherit everything, but 'everything' consists of loads of antique bottles he collected in his bottle-digging phase, weird waistcoats, collarless shirts and shit loads of VHS tapes with early-2000s Television X recorded onto them.

[igor_balis]

Actually, here he is:

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what a guy

edit: on reflection it comes across like i'm basically insensitively bragging about my dad not being dead, so I'll add that he had a big stroke and can't really walk anymore to slightly mitigate my cuntiness

[Magic]

What a don.

Cool guys like Igor tend to have off the cuff dads like that. Brilliant.

Look at the fucking spac in the background though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I can't get over some 9 year old cunt having 7 and a half grand in his bank.

He had about £40k or so. He was entitled to half rental income from the house (works out at £1,000 or so a month) but he won't be getting that anymore.

[Shindig]

That reminds me. I should try and find out where I put those Power of Attorney documents for my parents.

[John]

Actually, here he is:

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what a guy

edit: on reflection it comes across like i'm basically insensitively bragging about my dad not being dead, so I'll add that he had a big stroke and can't really walk anymore to slightly mitigate my cuntiness

Look at the two bints coming out of the disabled toilet.

[Lewis]

I bet there are more local rumours about him than he's had hot dinners.

[Dquincy]

He had about £40k or so. He was entitled to half rental income from the house (works out at £1,000 or so a month) but he won't be getting that anymore.

Sorry to hear your tale, that all sounds really rough. When did your dad pass away? I ask as I'm wondering how long this has taken to come to a conclusion.

Also, how the frig does a 9 yr old get entitled to half a rental income...

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not sure the Act is necessarily 'out of date' when it comes to favouring spouses, it just couldn't foresee money-grabbing bitch foreign stripper spouses who want to rape the estate for everything it's worth out of pure greed.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sorry to hear your tale, that all sounds really rough. When did your dad pass away? I ask as I'm wondering how long this has taken to come to a conclusion.

Also, how the frig does a 9 yr old get entitled to half a rental income...

He passed away at the end of February 2015 so it's been a fucking long and shit process.

Half the rental income of the family house.

My Dad's home has three floors. The third floor is a studio flat, the second is all rented out bar two rooms and the bottom floor is also not rented out. There is also a cottage type property to the side of the house which my Dad built a few years ago. It's mortgage free and brings in just over £2k a month in rental income.

[Baz]

I have a friend whose mum died when she was really young and now she gets her mum's pension. Forever, as far as I'm aware. And it's a pretty good wage too, apparently. She doesn't have to work. Ever! It's incredible.

Obviously I'd rather have my mum, but still.

EDIT: sounds like your dad was a grafter, Mahow. Surprised he had time to father eight kids and have [at least] two wives. What a man.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I have a friend whose mum died when she was really young and now she gets her mum's pension. Forever, as far as I'm aware. And it's a pretty good wage too, apparently. She doesn't have to work. Ever! It's incredible.

Obviously I'd rather have my mum, but still.

EDIT: sounds like your dad was a grafter, Mahow. Surprised he had time to father eight kids and have [at least] two wives. What a man.

Seven kids (that we know of) from four different women, three of which were wives.

Started life as, pretty much a peasant (the family home which housed like 11 people was about the size of an average living room), sheep and goat farmer with little education as he was expected to work. Left Cyprus around 18 with £5 in his pocket (but £3 was spent on prostitutes in Paris) learnt a craft, then set up a business despite knowing no English at the time. He's also worked for some crazy rich people (I remember getting to go with him to a Dame's house that he was doing up) and would have had so much more had he not gone through 2 divorces.

[Shindig]

There's a book in that. Write it. Then move on to a movie deal with Will Smith.

[Dquincy]

He passed away at the end of February 2015 so it's been a fucking long and shit process.

Half the rental income of the family house.

My Dad's home has three floors. The third floor is a studio flat, the second is all rented out bar two rooms and the bottom floor is also not rented out. There is also a cottage type property to the side of the house which my Dad built a few years ago. It's mortgage free and brings in just over £2k a month in rental income.

Ah man that sucks. Assuming you were close to him, I hope the Will negotiations are coming to a conclusion so you can draw a line under it and remember the good memories you had with your dad...and forget the bitch woman.

I appreciate we're all only getting one side of this story, but she doesn't sound too pleasant.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Ah man that sucks. Assuming you were close to him, I hope the Will negotiations are coming to a conclusion so you can draw a line under it and remember the good memories you had with your dad...and forget the bitch woman.

I appreciate we're all only getting one side of this story, but she doesn't sound too pleasant.

She isn't.

The bad thing about all of this is that what she's done is effectively alienate her 9 year old son (who she shipped off to boarding school last month, which we think was to increase her outgoings) from his siblings because all of us hate her.

She also lied about pretty much everything. She claimed in financial disclosures that she employs a gardener, cleaner, spends around £600 a month on food for herself and my brother, £1000 or so on holidays a month, £300 a month on dentists etc etc. We all know that she doesn't spend that much (she doesn't even have a gardener or cleaner) and she also lied about more things such as a property in Ukraine not existing (despite all of us having seen pictures of it and our Dad telling us all about it) and various payments she made which my older Brother made.

[Pepe]

Nobody married foreigners before Tony Blair.

[Dquincy]

Nobody married foreigners before Tony Blair.

How come?

[Pepe]

Values.

[Spikey M]

People.

This year I have now found out that 2 people I thought I knew very well are utter, utter cunts living lies.

The most recent is girl I sat with at work everyday for 2 years. The father of her children was a nasty peice of work, didn't pay for one of his kids, turned the other against her through lies and all manner of shit. Because of this she was always borrowing money - including from me (a fiver here and there) - and would take a while to pay it back because a catalogue of shit happened. Except... it was all bollocks. She got sacked a couple of days ago for stealing from work, having CCJ's in fake names, managing her debts through her work email and a fuck tonne more. Great stuff when you work for the MOJ.

She is now texting me making out she is hard done by - unaware that I know everything - and that she was ditched for her sickness record. I can't say anything to her as she may be facing legal action, but she has been blocked to fuck on everything now.

[Lewis]

Have you posted a cryptic Facebook status about her yet?

[Spikey M]

This is as close as I will get, sadly.

[Dquincy]

This is as close as I will get, sadly.

Were you attracted to her?

[Spoonsky]

Got lost coming out of a metro stop and missed my bus today. Not an inner city bus, a bus from Canada to Vermont. Seething.

[Giggles]

Got stuck talking to a few English LADS at s funeral tonight. Do you even have schools over there?

[Boydy]

Got stuck talking to a few English LADS at s funeral tonight. Do you even have schools over there?

[Kikó]

Ha Where in England, Giggs?

[Magic]

Bumped in to my plumber at the swimming yesterday.

He's coming round today at some point, it's obviously less easy to fob people off in person when you're half-naked.

[Spikey M]

Were you attracted to her?

Nah. Her messy life extends its self to not looking after herself.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sounds like our neighbour has been drilling for oil for the past hour or so.