The little things in life that fuck you off

[phonics]

I was wondering why I was getting so many spelling error fix requests on my documents. I was correcting everything to the American standard as we spell it 'realize' not 'realise' but no, apparently we use Oxford as standard so I get to researching and find this

'The main difference between British and Oxford spelling is that the latter uses -ize (and -ization) instead of -ise (and -isation) (organize and organization instead of organise and organisation, for instance). This use of z instead of s does not apply, however, to words ending in -yse, such as analyse, which are written with an s in both standards (but not in the American standard, in which it is written analyze). Broadly speaking, it can be said that in all other cases, the Oxford spelling standard follows the British spelling standard'

What a bunch of fucking nonsense. Yeah, we use z all the time EXCEPT for analyse? What? Fuck language.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Greek roots for analyse, I think, and Latin for the -ise ones. Might as well argue to spell it eyez instead of eyes.

[Pepe]

Took me 35 minutes to get to work this morning and I live 2.6km away. Lazy striking bus driving wankers.

You could get a bicycle and be there in like three minutes.

[Giggles]

You could get a bicycle and be there in like three minutes.

I'd look well heading to my first job of the day on a bicycle.

Mind you, not that I'd stoop that low even if I was staying in the office all day.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

My speakers have failed.

They did so a few weeks ago and after a few hours randomly started working again. It's been 24 hours and everything I've tried has failed :\

I cannot fucking wait until I buy something decent.

[Shindig]

Some old couple knocked a bairn over yesterday and didn't apologise. She just looked over and carried on walking.

[Giggles]

I initially read that as barn

[Shindig]

Also, is there anything worse than a person going to their first match that won't shut up about it? Someone in our office is going to Tuesday's cup game and she's bought a t-shirt with Rafa the Gaffer on it (that she's shown everyone) and now she's planning on ambushing him after, before or during the game.

[Kikó]

Don't be so miserable. Nice that they have a bit of excitement in their life.

[Shindig]

"Will Rafa notice me? I bought this T-shirt for him. I'm in the Milburn stand. Is that near the dugouts!? EEEEEEK!! I WANT TO TACKLE HIM!"

[Kikó]

Look, GS doesn't get to see his hero much. Let him have his moment.

[Spammer]

There's a housemate thread, but this is the closest thread without searching.

Two toilets in our gaff. One for me and another bloke to share, and an en suite for a lass. Bloke was having a shit and I desperately needed a piss so I asked use the lass' loo. She said she'll just make sure it's alright, and I joked that she'd better make sure there's no used tampons in there. Then she said that she actually often dries them out so she can re-use them.

Is this a thing, or has she outdone me and is whooshing me with my own dry sense of humour?

[Spikey M]

I think what's happened here is you've outed yourself as autistic.

[Giggles]

The main question is why you said that to her in the first place.

[Lewis]

You should have just waited a couple of minutes.

[Spammer]

I think what's happened here is you've outed yourself as autistic.

I'm not sure if you know what autism actually is. It sure as hell isn't being unsure how someone means something.

The main question is why you said that to her in the first place.

I was joking. I think she was going further with it. Pretty rank if she wasn't hough.

This was a pretty stupid place to come to ask about it, in fairness.

[Spikey M]

Somebody missing that level of sarcasm is somewhere on the spectrum.

[Spammer]

Somebody missing that level of sarcasm is somewhere on the spectrum.

You're a retard.

Some women actually do it, it turns out.

[Spikey M]

Delete your internet history.

[Spammer]

Nah, I'm good.

[Disco]

Delete your internet history.

As if that would have been the worst thing.

[Boydy]

Look at old man Spike, not knowing what incognito mode is.

[Spikey M]

It's not for buying Christmas presents using the family computer?

[Disco]

Apparently fruit polos are still a thing but they aren't all irrevocably stuck together any more. For some reason I find this mildly disappointing.

[Spikey M]

They haven't dusted them in that horrible shit that ruins Jelly Babies and Milk Bottles have they?

[Magic]

I just did a 30 minute HIIT session on my dad's racing bike and the turbo. On minute 29 I thought I was pissing myself so I grabbed my boab and couldn't feel a thing. Totally numb, my whole groin, my balls and my chappie. Still numbish now and that was an hour ago.

[Giggles]

I used to always get that from my drum stool. Takes fucking ages.

[Adamski]

Chappie

I knew a guy who used to call it Gordon. Fucking Gordon

[igor_balis]

Woke up with my right eye feeling all gritty and the vision all blurry. Went pharmacist and the chick on the counter was like 'yeah that's infected'. Got doctor's appointment to confirm it later today. It would only be a minor annoyance, but the vision in my left eye is pretty much permanently fucked from detaching my retina, so I can't really see a whole lot right now.

Might pass the time today watching a film with audio descriptions on, was thinking:

[Jimmy Floyd]

My teeth are killing me, or, to be more precise, the area behind my teeth at the back is killing me. Yet to work out if it's some wisdom teeth induced nightmare, or just a bad ulcer or something. If the former, I'm really not looking forward to explaining to Mr Choi why my teeth are forcing me to take sick leave.

[John Arne]

I had a wisdom tooth removed a few months back - fucking hell, terrifying experience.

Good luck

[phonics]

I had them removed when I was a young'n. I dreaded it and then it was over within 20 minutes and I hadn't even noticed.

[Kikó]

My dentist dropped the "I'm going to have to take those wisdom teeth out soon" bombshell last time I was in. Terrifying.

[Lewis]

All four of mine came through without a problem. Teeth wisdom.

[Shindig]

None of mine came through alright. Not enough to yank them and potentially open to abscesses and such.

[Disco]

Mine came through fine. Genetic Jackhammer

[Pepe]

I just did a 30 minute HIIT session on my dad's racing bike and the turbo. On minute 29 I thought I was pissing myself so I grabbed my boab and couldn't feel a thing. Totally numb, my whole groin, my balls and my chappie. Still numbish now and that was an hour ago.

You need to get yourself one of those saddles with a cutout. Also try pedaling out of the saddle every ten minutes or so.

[Shindig]

My dad went into hospital this morning and, as they advise you leave as much stuff at home, he's left his phone and wallet at home. I hate not being able to contact someone.

[Spoonsky]

I got my wisdom teeth out in June. They'd come through but still needed taken out, but because we're cheap we went to my normal dentist and I didn't get put under. I could fucking feel them cracking the tooth out, awful. Then a diet of frozen yogurt and supportive friends for the next two days.

It's shit, lads.

[Pepe]

I don't know if mine 'came through' or not.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I don't know if mine 'came through' or not.

Neither do I.

I think they have but I'm not entirely sure.

[Giggles]

I've no idea either. Is there a time of life they tend to arrive? Do they be in the back of your mouth?

[Shindig]

In your twenties. Mine are next to my molars.

[Giggles]

In your twenties. Mine are next to my molars.

I've no idea what molars are but I'm well past all that shit now, so happy days.

[Disco]

I've no idea either. Is there a time of life they tend to arrive?Arr, Do they be in the back of your mouth?

Are you turning into Robert Newton?

[randomlegend]

I just did a 30 minute HIIT session on my dad's racing bike and the turbo. On minute 29 I thought I was pissing myself so I grabbed my boab and couldn't feel a thing. Totally numb, my whole groin, my balls and my chappie. Still numbish now and that was an hour ago.

The fuck is a boab? Not even urbandictionary could save me.

[Giggles]

Are you turning into Robert Newton?

Who? Arr?

[Giggles]

The fuck is a boab? Not even urbandictionary could save me.

I presumed it was his manhood.

[Disco]

The fuck is a boab? Not even urbandictionary could save me.

Number three was 'Small annoying creature' which can't be far away from the truth.

[Giggles]

Number three was 'Small annoying creature' which can't be far away from the truth.

He must have grabbed the wife so.