The little things in life that fuck you off

[bruhnaldo]

Go back with the same except the wonky stub?

What will you be studying and where?

Just going to the local community college for now, taking general studies/prerequisite shit .

I've been out of school since 2011 and even then I wasn't really "there" as much as just enrolled and missing class for various reasons. Going to be interesting.

They have a program that so long as you graduate your AA you can transfer over to University of Central Florida, which isn't the best school or anything but I hope eventually I can work a 4 year degree out of the whole thing.

Better late than never, I guess. Plus, the only thing I have is my job. No wife, girlfriend, kids, anything to hold me back. Plus I'm a much more mature person than I was even a few years ago, so I'm hoping it'll work out this time.

Slight update: I sent over my lease agreement as they said that could be used as proof, now they want the year prior to the most recent because my current lease is from 10/2015-11/2016... and doesn't show one full year of actual residence.

Fuck. My. Life.

[Pepe]

UCF is pretty decent.

[phonics]

I did a poo in a public toilet and when I stood up I realized the whole thing had landed on the bowl instead of the water and five flushes later found that it would not be leaving anytime soon. I couldn't even use the bog brush because then that would just be covered in poo. Now some poor, minimum wage cleaner is going to have to deal with it and I'm feeling a huge amount of guilt about it.

[Boydy]

Was that one of those weird shaped ones that has a dry part of the bowl that the water doesn't reach? I hate those.

Like a fucking shelf above the water. What's the point?

[Lewis]

Isn't it because filthy Europeans like to inspect (and occasionally play with) their poo?

[Spikey M]

Moving. I mean, having finally moved is great. But it's 2016 and I am living with no TV and no Internet (4g on my phone aside). What is this poverty? It's like living in Liberia or Scotland or some shit.

[Kikó]

I managed to break my phone in the gym by clogging a weight on it twice before realising. Now I'm on some tinpot phone with no numbers as I can't log into my Gmail because of two step verification.

At least I have you guys.

Right?

[Lewis]

No.

[Kikó]

I'm not even in the group ffs.

[Lewis]

We're all tee-heeing at your broken phone.

[7om]

I'm seething at the idea of there being a secret group, got to admit.

[Spoonsky]

It's not all it's cracked up to be.

[Spammer]

I'm beginning to realise that my main group of mates in Leeds are really fucking stifling.

They're nice and all, but they're all so delicate. With my mates from home we just take the piss out of each other all the time and chat shit and it's great. I feel like I've got to tread on eggshells so as to not make people uncomfortable. It's kinda annoying me actually. Need to meet people I can just chill out and chat shit with. Like, someone will say something in an attempt to be funny but which patently isn't, and I swear people laugh purely out of courtesy. But everyone does it to everyone else, and I don't think they know any differently. Maybe it's because they're all Christian, I don't know. It doesn't seem genuine though.

[niko_cee]

Knowing they're "all Christian" sounds like alarm bell material. No one joins a cult for the banter. Well, almost no one.

[Spammer]

There's a lot of cognitive dissonance going on, that's for sure.

[bruhnaldo]

Damn you guys have a Whatsapp group without the rest of us?

Bastards.

[Kikó]

You can replace spoons, the ungrateful fuck.

[Magic]

Damn you guys have a Whatsapp group without the rest of us?

Bastards.

Don't worry mate, it's not that great.

[Giggles]

Ah, it's a whatsapp group?

[Magic]

Let's not ever invite Giggles, lads.

[bruhnaldo]

Ah, it's a whatsapp group?

I just assumed to be fair.

[Giggles]

I've put on some deep heat over an hour ago. My eyes are still watering, that smell doesn't die easily.

[Baz]

The Photobox website is 100% dog turd.

Combined with how rubbish my mouse has been since getting Windows 10, and it's fair to say making a stupid photobook for my mum's birthday has put me in a foul mood.

Fuck off.

[Shindig]

For the second time since moving to this town, I've heard a busker completely murder Outkast's 'Hey Ya'. The first person who did that wound up on The Voice, though. Maybe it's some path to being molested by Ricky Wilson.

[Spoonsky]

The Photobox website is 100% dog turd.

Combined with how rubbish my mouse has been since getting Windows 10, and it's fair to say making a stupid photobook for my mum's birthday has put me in a foul mood.

Fuck off.

Blurb seems like a good option, especially if you have Lightroom on a Mac.

[Baz]

I managed it in the end. Cheers though.

Today I'm fucked off by the man who rang me out the blue while I was in Kwik Fit offering me a good SIM only deal, but spelled my name wrong and got my billing/residential addresses the wrong way around so I failed the credit check. Went to the shop to complain and they just lolled me out of there saying I couldn't try again for 90 days. Just spoke to someone who sounded like he at least had some brain cells, on the phone who said he'll ring me back before eight. Idiots. They're ruining iPhone day.

[Baz]

Lawnmowers broke. The motor makes a noise but the blades don't spin. Hopefully Groundsman Dave can fix it.

I tried to finish it off wth my old manual one but the grass was too long so it just slid over it. My own fault for not cutting it in about two months, I guess, but still annoying.

I do have another electric one, a flymo, but the amount of spiders in the shed put me off bothering to finish it.

When that fake grass is made to look like actual grass, I'ma get some.

[Giggles]

I was only saying to the Mrs the other day that the next house will have no grass, shrubs, flowers of any description front or back. Stones, paving, and concrete and up to 3 plants in large pots. Fucking hate gardening.

[Magic]

Men with long fingernails.

See How, Giggles and surprisingly Kiko.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Men with long fingernails.

See How, Giggles and surprisingly Kiko.

I used to bite mine really low and let them grow out a bit to show that I don't. Plus I'm shit at clipping them.

Not sure how you knew though.

[Kikó]

I see my manicurist biweekly so have lovely nails.

[Magic]

I used to bite mine really low and let them grow out a bit to show that I don't. Plus I'm shit at clipping them.

Not sure how you knew though.

Because you're a disgusting shitbag.

[Giggles]

Men with long fingernails.

See How, Giggles and surprisingly Kiko.

What are you on about?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Because you're a disgusting shitbag.

Appreciate it babes.

I'd say that biting is more for disgusting shitbags though.

[mugbull]

Fingernails taste great. Poor man's capers.

[Giggles]

Magic is just taking it out on us because the wife took a big sticky dollop in the eye from a masseur earlier on.

[Shindig]

I don't bite them any more. I grew out of it. Teeth-grinding's the thing I can't quit.

[Magic]

I pull my hair out.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I still bite the skin around my nails.

[Spikey M]

Taz used to (probably still does) rub his finger on his 'gooch' and sniff it. Simmer down, you lot.

[Baz]

@Don where you you?

[Magic]

Neighbours smoke alarm has been chirping for 2 days on the low battery warning. Awesome.

[Giggles]

Neighbours smoke alarm has been chirping for 2 days on the low battery warning. Awesome.

I never understand why cunts can't keep a spare 9V in a house.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Or just remove the battery until they buy a new battery.

[Pepe]

Or just remove the battery.

[Disco]

Burn their house down to teach them a lesson.

[Lewis]

My old Norwich landlord tried telling me that intermittent beeps meant that the alarm was working properly. I just stood there Cornette Facing him until he realised that I wasn't some idiot foreigner and agreed to 'take a look at it'.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Was meant to get a payout from life insurance by last Wednesday at the latest. Asked what was happening today and apparently the decision has been contested.

Ugh.

[Magic]

That for your old man?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That for your old man?

Yeah.

I'm guessing his wife wasn't happy that I was given a percentage.