The next time Rooney TRULY "picks out a deft pass" will be the first time in years.
If Rooney is so amazing (not saying that's what anyone here is saying) then I beg the Chinese to offer United 40m or more for him so he can revolutionize football in their country.
Cause he's sure as fuck not doing it for United or England.
His pointless 40 yard sideways-cum-slightly diagonal passes really are a sight to behold.
He takes about 15 touches these days and then goes backwards.
His lifestyle is booze and fags. It eventually catches up with you.
Plus it looks like he's had a facelift.
Some twat has binned his motorbike into a barrier on the A127 (pretty much outside my gaff) and as a consequence we've had 3 police cars, 2 Ambulance cars, an Ambulance and now a FUCKING helicopter turn up.
That's without the Hells Satans all pitching up to see how their mate is and - for some reason - feeling that the situation needs engine reving and toplessness. Cunts.
Its the biking equivalent of a Viking funeral.
When did your whole country stop selling cigarettes in pubs?
Around the same time we stopped letting people smoke them in pubs.
Really? We stopped the smoking in pubs and displaying them but all pubs still could, and do, have a machine. So long it was a token one.Originally Posted by John
It's strange being in a decent sized town before 10pm where I can't get any.
Some fucker has just crashed into the back of another car because she was rubbernecking.
This is literally probably going to happen around my neighborhood tonight, as it does every other night. Sigh.
Great Britain. Makes you proud.Some fucker has just crashed into the back of another car because she was rubbernecking.
For the fucking love of Christ, @Magic
I beg of you.
@Pepe spelling Crocker wrong in the US Presidential elections thread.
Asians must be the most manner lacking people on the planet. Just been getting breakfast and there's a troop of them down there, they stand on top of you and have absolutely no concept of queueing.
Welcome to my fucking world. The amount of people if had to tell to fuck off back behind me in the queue.
On holiday and there's a pretty good tick ting of a cherno. She's white but she's alright, probably 17 max. Anyway she's with her annoying, fatter, younger sister. Can't perve on the good one without the chubby 14 year old braces wearing knobhead clocking me.
In better news there are four dark-skinned princesses also here, ranging from 16 to 40, at a guess. They don't fuck me off cos they're all hot.
Speaking of hot, it's too fucking hot. I've not stopped sweating for five days but my tan is terrible. Fucked off. Not helped by the missus wanting the parasol up and the shade going on me. I take it down once I've stopped sweating but it's back up within 10 minutes.
EDIT: I've took a stance and moved my sunbed. Happy honeymoon!
I'm a twit
Lovely to read about young love.
The tan sitch is a more pressing concern.
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I'm a twit
Are you sucking that tummy in?
It's uneven and it's glorious
Never thought a shirtless mugshot would get a drool smilie response.
And no I don't think so. Sweated my Brussels Beer Belly away.
I'm a twit
Went to the dentist the other day and told her that my gum just after the bottom left molar is hurting. She said I probably bit it (no idea how that could happen) but I think a wisdom tooth is coming through. So much pain and I can sort of feel the top of a tooth now.
I hate when I come here and it shows me all new threads with new posts etc. etc.
Then if I click on one thread and go back to the homepage it says all threads are old.
Hangovers. I used not to get them unless I went far overboard but these days I can hardly cope.
I've also started to get these back aches on long drives and even at the movies recently. I'm turning into an old man ffs.
I was listening to a (comedy) radio show on the way to work this morning and I noticed that, behind the two incredibly pointless hosts cracking shit jokes, there was a third guy laughing really obnoxiously. It occurred to me that this man wakes up every morning, eats some toast or gruel or coffee or whatever, and goes to work where his job is to laugh at other people's humorless antics and occasionally offer bizarre exclamations ("Ooh wow that's a good one!"). I bet the studio even has a mix engineer who fades this sad man's audio into the background so that it's not too evident what's happening.
I've never felt so hollow inside.
He'll be the mix engineer.
My friend in Los Angeles found a job advertised (thirty hours a week, and something like twenty dollars an hour) to follow a 'well-known comedian' around, write their 'musings' down, and help produce their online content. Whoever it was must be unbearable.
How it's starting to get dark a lot earlier.
Nah, it's just the shit weather.
The shit weather's not helping but it is getting dark earlier too. I hate this time of year when it starts happening and you know it's just a long, slow trudge to Winter and darkness at 5pm. Ugh.
Winter
Summer, with its insects, sweaty bollocks and Children off school can fuck right off.
Go and have some winter sun.
The one thing I miss about living in Manchester is how it used to stay light until about midnight in the summer. In London you're done by about 10.
The run in to Christmas is great. January and February are bleak, though.
Any stint where I have three months til my next week off is bleak, to be honest.
I've spaced my holidays well this year, although I benefit from a ludicrous amount of discretionary and statutory holidays.
First day of holiday, set my alarm for two hours later than it would normally be so I get a bit of a lie-in. Of course I wake up at the time my alarm would normally go off for work anyway.
Body clock be a bitch.
I still have 16 days to take in the next 4 months, and work itself is increasingly a doss. It's going to be awesome.
They were only selling the half a liter cans of Red Bull. I look like an absolute deviant drinking this.
Just have a coffee, you fanny.
Tastes like wank, mate.
As opposed to a 'half-liter-a' Red Bull, Farva?
I'm a twit
To be fair, that's pretty much the same as can coke (33g for a 330ml can).
Trying to get back into school. Have to prove my Florida Residency to the school so that I can receive the "In-State Tuition" rate.
I've provided them my government state issued ID, my W2's (tax forms) for 3 straight years, my government issued Voter's ID card , and 53 weeks worth of paystubs..
But one of the paystubs incorrectly showed the pay period of the pay period before (i.e. 8/24/15 - 9/4/15 on two stubs).
Soooo they won't accept my residency.
Three forms of identification provided by the state, the fed, and my employer... but because one of the stubs has a typo I'm fucked until I can find something else.
I'm livid.
Go back with the same except the wonky stub?
What will you be studying and where?
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