A video with 500k views? Poor form, Igor.
A video with 500k views? Poor form, Igor.
Sorry. Here's another one just as anger inducing with just 20k views:
Someone keeps using my email to make accounts on various websites.
Is it that camgirl?
I doubt she's a club penguin fan.
She might have kids.
Originally Posted by Lewis
I would rather see a celebrity create their own dance/finishing move instead of following the trend. Just see lewis hamilton do the dab after he won the race. Create your own and run with. Be an innovator, not an imitator.
People have the worst domestics on buses. Call them back. you twat.
My dickhead chainsaw wielding neighbour.
Wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't an insomniac but as he is, he's a twat.
The neighbour's kids who are always out playing like noisy little bastards in the garden now seem to have a drum kit. Fuck's sake.
Get out there with your flu... Oh no wait you're bent.
Go out there with your fleshy flute and they'll probably move.
Not that type of drum.
Saw a guy dressed as Altair (I find it a little bad that I knew exactly which assassin he was dressed as) from Assassin's Creed in town yesterday, why? I have no fucking idea. Was it a good costume? Nope. What did he seem to be doing? Just standing outside of Wilkinsons with a girl who wasn't in a costume.
Loud rev'd up cars and motorbikes. Fucking hate them...and the cunts that drive them.
Utter cunts.
"Where all the good stuff we does goes."
Because every time I see it I want it to be a play on words gone wrong but really it was probably just phonics being a mong.
We've a cunt does donuts on the road outside the house at all hours with one of those dustbin exhausts. Bad enough but he's easily in his 40's.
The morning I hopefully go outside to see it upside down and his torched carcass being pulled from it
Watching a CM01-02 playthrough and this cunt has no idea how to pronounce names. "Aaron Lennon's here! Anthony Lennon!? They've given him the wrong name and age."
I use to know a guy who followed home someone who cut him up. He then waited until night-time and slashed all the bloke's tyres. Bit mental.We've a cunt does donuts on the road outside the house at all hours with one of those dustbin exhausts. Bad enough but he's easily in his 40's.
The morning I hopefully go outside to see it upside down and his torched carcass being pulled from it
He had anger issues, but I'm seriously considering it.
Link?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05XLA_1EW0E
Mainly looking for ways to make an 01-02 series interesting.
I wouldn't take the effort to do anything myself. I just want to stroll out and laugh.
I posted about motorbikes a few pages back, but yeah, I genuinely want every last one of them to crash and die. In an ideal world they'd remain sentient enough to think 'what a cunt I've been' before finally carcing it.
I live by a biker road and love it. Proper bikes, though. Not those little dirt bikes. Do not underestimate how cool as fuck you can look in a Yamaha replica kit complete with Rossi leathers.
That'd be like going out getting into your Fiat Tipo in full Ferrari gear. Full kit wankers as they say.
Yup. There was a lad that parked his Repsol Honda imposter outside the Subway he worked at. Looked fucking mint.
You wouldn't if you had a 6 week old baby, trust me.
Fucking hate them. Even the little 50cc ones make that grating noise. Urgh.
I still find it telling that Guido never did one of those.
Trying to write a speech.
Should I write it out word for word to be read out in gormless fashion, or write bullet points and adlib on the day but risk forgetting something?
I'm a twit
Write what you want to say then read through it and condense it a couple of times. You'll end up with bullet points as reminders and reading it through should commit most of it to memory.
Get Mike to do the gags though.
Depends how confident you are speaking. Bullet points and winging it is probably better, but equally more likely to go disastrously wrong (relatively speaking). No one is going to think anything of you reading something out - people are willing you on at a wedding, not looking for you to fail. If you have any say in the running order, try to break with tradition and do the speeches before the meal, because if you are nervous, it'll wreck your enjoyment of the meal if you don't.
Yeah I went a wedding in June and the newlywed couple didn't eat their meals because they were nervous (lol) so we're eating after the speaking.
As for getting Mike to do gags, is that cos it's not normal for a groom to tell jokes, or because he's funny and I'm not?
I'm a twit
I'm just messing
Do you have to do the thanking of bridesmaids etc?
Yeah. I've gotta thank her dad for his speech, then her mum, then my parents, then her bridesmaids, then everyone else, then her brother, then all my mates, then mike and the reid.And all that's BEFORE I've talked soppy bollocks about the her.
I'm a twit
Thank TTH and hand out some cards.
I left all the ones I had left in Belgium.
I'm a twit
For fuck sake. Fredman incoming.
When you turn up at an empty dentist waiting room and still have to wait 4th in line to be seen.
How confident are you? I did both my grooms speech and my best mans speech via bullet points and was fine. It's much more natural and allows you to add stuff that's come up during the day. Saying that, I'm used to speaking in front of large groups of people.
My best man wrote his word for word and it was good, he's not used to giving speeches so it worked. However, he thought it was a bit robotic so he switched and did bullet points for his own wedding. It was a disaster. He promptly shat his pants and just ended up reading the bullet point before repeating it slightly reworded a couple of times.
"Bridesmaids are looking beautiful. So, yeah, you're all looking beautiful. You look great."
Made my speech easier, mind.
As someone that speaks in front of people every week with the pressure of having to be engaging here is my advice.7Yeah. I've gotta thank her dad for his speech, then her mum, then my parents, then her bridesmaids, then everyone else, then her brother, then all my mates, then mike and the reid.
- Don't be crude (she'll have relatives that hate it trust me no matter how funny you are)
- Speak from the heart. Be genuine. There is a reason comics write "buzzwords" on their hand. It's cause they have material to remember and want one word to remind them of what 5 minutes or so they'll talk about. Do the same but use a card sat in front of you in bold type. Do not make it scripted. Folk will switch off.
- Take into account your audience.
The above is all things people have already said here. What is important, more than all the above, is to enjoy the moment. This is a wonderful occasion with all the people you and your partner love there to share it. Smile, relax, deep breath and remember how actually brilliant it all is. If you can't enjoy moments like this in life then you never will.
these bitches are so fucking annoying in my office oh my GOD SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
Care to elaborate?
"Like omg and then he text me a smiley face"
"Whaaat girl that's so crazy!!!"
"And he was like babe... this smiley face is a metaphor for US."
"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"
Not what they were saying but it might has well been.
edit: I work in a shared office space that's about 100 square feet (not counting various tables desks and bins) so it's pretty much every day.
Your office is 10 feet by 10 feet?
okay maybe 10x15
Wrote mine. We open by apologising about how bad it is. Got it down to a single page of size 10 font though. Got told we had to make it quick!
I'd spend at least 3 quarters of the page on ear puns.
Back in America and the first thing I do is lose my iPhone with all of the pictures. Fuck.
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