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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #1101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Smoke alarms powered by the mains which decide to beep intermittently for no fucking reason.
    They'll have a backup battery in case of power cuts and the beeping probably means it is (nearly) dead.

  2. #1102
    Living Legend! TG09's Avatar
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    People that wear sun glasses in shops/Supermarkets/gyms etc.. you are inside a building you do not need them on.

  3. #1103
    Living Legend! TG09's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toby View Post
    They'll have a backup battery in case of power cuts and the beeping probably means it is (nearly) dead.
    Yep that it.

  4. #1104
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TG09 View Post
    People that wear sun glasses in shops/Supermarkets/gyms etc.. you are inside a building you do not need them on.
    They might be blind mate.

  5. #1105
    Living Legend! TG09's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mahow View Post
    They might be blind mate.
    If they have a white stick or a dog, then its ok

  6. #1106
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Where are you from originally, TG09?

  7. #1107
    Living Legend! TG09's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mokbull View Post
    Where are you from originally, TG09?
    Aylesbury in Buckinghamshire. Moved to NZ in 2008

  8. #1108
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toby View Post
    They'll have a backup battery in case of power cuts and the beeping probably means it is (nearly) dead.
    I gave it a hoover and it shut up. Apparently dust and debris is a factor.

  9. #1109
    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    That leads me onto another thing that fucks me off: using 'stress' as an excuse for being a twat. Having children, a new job, organising a wedding - these are all things that you chose to do, so don't use them as an excuse to act like a wanker. Just because you share your problems like a little girl doesn't mean that other people don't have any, but they at least have the decent to keep it to themselves.
    By 'keep it to themselves' do you mean not going around announcing it to the people they know, or not going to see a professional? Because if it's the latter it's a daft statement. And those things you've mentioned are just part of life, and if they end up causing you stress, so be it. You can't not do them because they might cause stress and end up turning you into a wanker at times.

    I may be barking up the wrong tree though.

  10. #1110
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    How are they acting like a wanker?

  11. #1111
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    I have to pay £22 per term for 'snacktime' at nursery. As if my taxes weren't enough, shower of pricks.

  12. #1112
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    What's that, about 35p per day?

  13. #1113
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    I've no idea, but you're missing the point.

  14. #1114
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Were you fed at nursery? I think I had a tiny carton of milk.

  15. #1115
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    We used to get milk, I vommed everywhere during break time once

  16. #1116
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Were you fed at nursery? I think I had a tiny carton of milk.
    I can't remember, but there was no way my parents paid for it. #austerity

  17. #1117
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    I have to pay £22 per term for 'snacktime' at nursery. As if my taxes weren't enough, shower of pricks.
    Nursery fees are a joke. It is essentially glorified babysitting with "play" at that age. Before anyone objects, I did a stint "teaching" in a nursery school as part of my degree. It's all structured/unstructured play/stories, "stop painting the walls with your shite Johnny" experiences.

  18. #1118
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    Well yesterday Emily wanted a haircut so A was more than happy to oblige, but it didn't work because the scissors weren't sharp enough (toy ones), so Emily told her gran who made a snide comment about A 'trying to be a hairdresser' in that whole 'say it in a childish voice but really you're saying I'm a cunt eh!' but it wasn't me it was Grandad that picked her up. Then Molly said she didn't want to be As friend so she walloped her, but Amelia is lovely and wants to be my friend so she's the best.

    It was like listening to fucking Vicki Pollard. Was waiting for the whole 'Yeah and Lizzy Stevenson got fingered by Jamie Goodall behind the climbing frame'.

  19. #1119
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    Also fucking lol my step-dad's sister works as a nursery 'teacher' but in a deprived ethnic area, so most of the kids are Islamics. She'd come back to work in the afternoon as she does the afternoon kids, to see a bunch of new termers with name tags on saying 'Safe'. So she was going about called these kids 'Saf-ay' thinking it was their name but it was actually the word of the week, 'Safe'.


  20. #1120
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    I'm not normally one to rail against 'SJWs' but somebody audibly sighed at me when I said "that would make them a criminal" in relation to a hypothetical person committing a criminal act. Roll on, "so commit one crime and you're a criminal forever?" from somebody who simply doesn't have a good enough grasp of the English language.

  21. #1121
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    My mother made me some birthday buns for tomorrow, and I insisted on doing the icing myself because I like icing and wanted loads of icing, and also because my life is tragic. I made chocolate icing, and when asked how I was getting on I said 'It's nice, it just looks like shit'. Since then I've spent somewhere between twenty minutes and my entire life explaining the difference between 'looks like shit' (meaning literally looks like poo because it's brown) and 'I've fucked it up mother you were right I can't be trusted with butter and sugar' (meaning tastes like shit). Three year olds would get this, you twat.

  22. #1122
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Your life really is an episode of Sorry.

  23. #1123
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScousePig View Post
    By 'keep it to themselves' do you mean not going around announcing it to the people they know, or not going to see a professional? Because if it's the latter it's a daft statement. And those things you've mentioned are just part of life, and if they end up causing you stress, so be it. You can't not do them because they might cause stress and end up turning you into a wanker at times.

    I may be barking up the wrong tree though.
    It wasn't the latter at all. More people need to do that.

  24. #1124
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Happy birthday, Lolwis.

  25. #1125
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Twenty-eight, or 'not as old as Pepe'.

  26. #1126
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Aww, twinsies!
    I'm a twit

  27. #1127
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Happy birthday.

  28. #1128
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    Happy birthday, you miserable wanker.

  29. #1129
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    Seething Luca got his own thread.

    This just looks like Lewbear's birthday fucks us off.

  30. #1130
    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    It wasn't the latter at all. More people need to do that.
    I didn't think it was but decided to roll with it anyway. You do get people of that viewpoint.

  31. #1131
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    I had nothing to do before eleven o'clock Thursday and yesterday, so the council twats removing some trees up the road from eight every morning have been a right pain in the arse. I hoped they were finished or taking the weekend off when it turned eight this morning and all was quiet, but the fuckers were just late and pitched up at half eight.

    Had they been ditching some ugly bastards that were getting in the way I wouldn't have minded, but they were two properly huge, old things that I climbed when I was younger and they stood on the grounds of a community centre. It's Bruce and his shithouse sawmill job all over again.



    There's another one just to the right of that one, hidden from that angle by a pathetic little thing that was closer to the camera. The house is there for reference, it's a two storey job. I might go and hide their tools.

  32. #1132
    Senior Member The Bruce's Avatar
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    I left the sawmill last year so can't blame this on me I'm afraid.

    The council up here are cutting down all of my childhood climbing tree too for what its worth, we need to organise a resistance?

  33. #1133
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Anyone remember that idiot 18 year old cousin of mine I posted about before? The one I was supposed to 'tutor' a bit for his AS and A levels only he wouldn't read a fucking book or do any work. And who also wants to be a politician. The one I posted about at Christmas who's really quite selfish as well.

    He got engaged on New Year's to his girlfriend of six months. He's still in school, in upper sixth. Fucking idiot.

    Was talking about it earlier with my folks and my dad said he was 'cuntstruck'.

    I've been laughing at that for about twenty minutes now.

  34. #1134
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Cuntstruck is amazing.

  35. #1135
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I just ate of the many whole chillies in my garlic chilli chicken.

    Instantly got spice hiccups and the cunt kept building in heat.

    Christ that was a bad idea.

  36. #1136
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Was a bit too forceful in scratching my nut sack and now feel like someones lightly tapped me in the bollocks.

  37. #1137
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Anyone remember that idiot 18 year old cousin of mine I posted about before? The one I was supposed to 'tutor' a bit for his AS and A levels only he wouldn't read a fucking book or do any work. And who also wants to be a politician. The one I posted about at Christmas who's really quite selfish as well.

    He got engaged on New Year's to his girlfriend of six months. He's still in school, in upper sixth. Fucking idiot.

    Was talking about it earlier with my folks and my dad said he was 'cuntstruck'.

    I've been laughing at that for about twenty minutes now.
    It's elevated through several levels because it came from your old man.

  38. #1138
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Magic Mk 2 init?

  39. #1139
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    Boydy's dad.

  40. #1140
    I used to be funny.
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    I need to work that into Monday's training session.

  41. #1141
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    The reaction from my mum was great too.

    'Ugh, don't be so vulgar.'
    'Well he is!'

    While I just stood and giggled.

  42. #1142
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    Was he fingering her snatch too?

  43. #1143
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    What is wrong with you.

  44. #1144
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I don't think we should let this overshadow Mahow's story, which is thrilling and hilarious in its own right.

  45. #1145
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Amazon are tossers. Got a "sorry we missed you" email about an hour ago. I've been up since 8am, not a single call on my phone or for the flat. Now I've got to wait till tomorrow. Snide cunts.

  46. #1146
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Anyone remember that idiot 18 year old cousin of mine I posted about before? The one I was supposed to 'tutor' a bit for his AS and A levels only he wouldn't read a fucking book or do any work. And who also wants to be a politician. The one I posted about at Christmas who's really quite selfish as well.

    He got engaged on New Year's to his girlfriend of six months. He's still in school, in upper sixth. Fucking idiot.

    Was talking about it earlier with my folks and my dad said he was 'cuntstruck'.

    I've been laughing at that for about twenty minutes now.
    This fucking wanker was meant to take his mum up to the airport to pick up the car his stepdad had left there. He'd agreed to it earlier in the day then fucked off out with his 'fiancée' and texted his mum saying he won't be back in time so get someone else to do it. I'm now doing it. I don't really mind doing it, I'm just annoyed at his selfishness.

  47. #1147
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    .....

  48. #1148
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    What were you wearing, clogs?

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  50. #1150
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    This fucking wanker was meant to take his mum up to the airport to pick up the car his stepdad had left there. He'd agreed to it earlier in the day then fucked off out with his 'fiancée' and texted his mum saying he won't be back in time so get someone else to do it. I'm now doing it. I don't really mind doing it, I'm just annoyed at his selfishness.
    We should put some sort of TTH Anti-Family together. Magic's in-laws, your cousin, my brother, Lofty's old man, whoever gave Floyd his hairline... I'm not sure what they would all do. Probably go for shit meals that my brother can criticise for the sake of it.

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