What/who are you hiding in that flat?
What/who are you hiding in that flat?
Always close the door in their face saying you're busy.
I can’t be arsed reading the link but shouldn’t the Department of Levelling Up be concentrating their efforts outside the London catchment area?
I've mentioned this before, but one of my rules for life is NEVER, EVER answer your door to an unsolicited knock or doorbell ring. It is always, and I mean always, an absolute waste of your time.Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
I should add, that wasn't always the rule, when I bought this place about 4 years ago I used to answer the door and in the space of about a year (before the rule was brought in) I had:
A member of the local council asking for my opinion on LTN's - I told him they were a bad idea, somehow implemented in an even worse fashion. LTN's are still here.
"Have you seen my cat?" I mean, maybe, but it's a fucking cat, you see them all the time and it barely registers. But the little fuckers move quickly so even if I had seen it, say 30 minutes ago, I'm not sure what use that would be to you now. Unless you're asking me if I've petnapped your cat, which if I have, I'm hardly likely to admit to now, am I?
Various people asking for their charity bags back. If you put something through my letter box I don't want, it's going in the recycling/bin with all of the rest of the crap that comes through there. This used to be a student share so I get a lot of shit.
Delivery drivers asking if I can take a package for a neighbouring house and then later....
...The neighbouring house asking for their package
Absolute grifters asking if I want my drive tarmac'd.
The nympho next door wanting to fuck me (as explained in the Rat 2 post). This might have been the one time in my life it was worth answering the door if it wasn't for the fact she had a boyfriend who lived next door too. But had she been single I don't think she'd have done it anyway. Total nutter that one.
And these are just examples off the top of my head in 5 minutes. The list goes on and it's always a complete waste of time.
Should have just answered the door in your boxers sporting an erection, Jim. You would have been off their list then.
Kids inside pubs. What are the parents thinking?
Parents want pub grub too.
I'm a twit
And it's frowned upon to leave them tied to the lamppost outside.
Made the mistake of going to a large supermarket and then a retail park this morning, forgetting it was BLACK FRIDAY.
Pandemonium.
Bit racist.
All caps too. Cant we all just get along?
Someone please explain salted caramel to me from a business perspective. Is it somehow really cheap? Does it dodge the sugar tax? I don't get it. If it was genuinely the taste we'd have been salting caramel for centuries.
While they're at it they need to explain "pumpkin spice" too.
I remain unconvinced that pumpkins are actually edible, no-one has ever made anything nice out of one. The caramel thing is just apple and cheese taken to the extreme, sweet and salty is a pretty classic combo after all.
Pumpkin is lovely.
It just tastes nice.
Salted caramel is excellent.
This stuff is the worst. My kids hit upon a seam of 'pumpkin spice' lollies in their Halloween hauls [pumkin spice grape, pumpkin spice something else, plain pumpkin spice] and they are all just horrific. They should all be labelled cinnamon death.
Miso caramel is the next step up from salted caramel.
Things like pumpkin spice and truffle can be explained as margin aggregators, i.e. sprinkle any old shitty dust on the item and raise the price by 40%. I just can't rationalise salted caramel.
It's caramel with salt in it that tastes nice, I'm not seeing the confusion.
Buying some stuff off Muji and found out about their baffling shipping costs
Toggle Spoiler
First time I've ever had to remove stuff from my basket to get my total below a threshold.
Grading delivery charges by order value is deranged, from a sales point of view (stick with me here, this is some of my most interesting content). You should grade by weight, so that the customer looks at the basket and thinks shit, pardner (he's from Arkansas), I've still got 8kg of allowance at the same shipping price, I might as well pop a table lamp in there while I'm at it.
Jim’s been on the pinot noir.
I'm a twit
Has Matcha flavoured everything reached your shores yet? Fucking awful, dry shite.
Went to a 4dx cinema today to watch Wish.
What a load of shite.
So many things to moan about.
3d remains entirely pointless in all situations save ones specifically tailored to make use of it. In normal films it just makes the whole thing a painful blur for the most part, where you're left wondering if you are watching it through some sort of frame rate filter which makes it look like a 60hz screen being broadcast on a 50hz screen a la computer screens on TV broadcasts.
The rest of the 4d shit is obviously a monumental waste of time, although it is funny seeing people having their massive bags of popcorn deposited all over the place. +1 point for that.
Completely removed from the terrible 4dx experience though, the biggest annoyance is the whole Disney 100 shite where they give it the whole "all you need is imagination" spiel before rolling out a suite of purchased content they now lay claim to having created it would seem. Fuck the fuck off with that.
Film's pretty bleh as well.
Parenthood sucks.
My parents solved that problem by just not taking me to those films that I wanted to go to. Have still never seen the Lion King.
Me either.
Children are largely indoor creatures now though, sadly. So it's tolerate the shit, or have your house wrecked.
This explains so much.
There's a kid on my estate that is outdoors seemingly all daylight hours. I don't know whether it's his doing or the parents', but it's a nice throwback either way.
Children that aren't being properly parented are thrown outside to fend for themselves. The vet we use for our dog is up the rough end of Preston and last time we went there was a group of young lads no older than 7 with a toddler in tow, roaming the streets, no adult in sight. The same parents who go absolutely mental when said kids fall through ice on a lake etc.
County lines waiting to happen.
I'm a twit
Been banned from Pokerstars for cheating. Didn't cheat. I somehow outperformed the algorithm despite losing money.
Yodel.
I ordered a set of dumbbells on CYBER MONDAY and they were supposed to be delivered today.
Was on my PC and it said I was the next stop with the map showing they were a couple of streets away. I then F5'd the page and it's suddenly in the depot and they "missed me".
No note of course because I know they never came to me.
The return of the elf on the shelf.
I feel your pain brother. I feel it.
My little one is only 18 months so I've escaped it this year. I can definitely feel it looming though. I hate this type of shit so probably a divorce incoming as my Mrs is a right soppy twat.
Thankfully never indulged in that shite and never will.
Although, in keeping with the thread, yesterday was the school's Christmas Fair. While I appreciate the kids enjoy it all and they need to raise funds as much as they can, it's an absolute money sink. £10 gone in minutes on sweets and tat.
Yep, just don’t take it on. :shrug: My boy’s turning 6 and he’s never mentioned it. And thankfully the school doesn’t seem to indulge it either.
My 4 year old is also completely unaware of the elf. Long may it continue.
4 here too, every day I'm being asked if it's Christmas yet but no mention or interest in the elf thing. I've also got a good scam going where the motion sensors in the corner of each room have a red light so now that's Santa Claus checking for good behaviour, reckon I can stretch a few years of peace out of that.
The elf was introduced by a family member as we used to travel to stay with them over the Christmas period most years.
Day 1 was a success. 23 to go.
The elf is on the TUI advert so it's coming for you non-elfers. I'd deffo just tell my kid it's a load of shit I think, I remember my step dad drunkenly telling me Father Christmas wasn't coming because I was a pillock one Christmas Eve when I was about 7.
Thing is, you tell your kid and they go and tell the other kids, who then tell their parents and you become the Grinch that STOLE Christmas. You would probably get assaulted by a raging army of shrieking mums.
Maybe you should up the ante and hire the Grinch.
There was a Grinch down Brighton Marina a few years ago who was pissing everyone off, upsetting kids etc and had to be told to fuck off in no uncertain terms. Must be a pretty high risk 'job', I'm sure some of them must get battered.
I think I say this every year but when I was a nipper we didn't even get chocolate advent calendars in our family, just got a nice picture of a robin or whatever behind the window, or perhaps a wise man. These kids don't know they're born.
Ruud Gullit sitting on a shed.
You're younger than me and had a grand piano in your house. Kids aren't spoiled, your parents just thought a tiny shred of sort-of chocolate every day in December was sheer hedonism / for plebs.
Although I've just amused myself with the idea that some grouch from our parents generations might have thought letting a kid have a little wholesome festive picture this morning was spoiling them.
"I never got a picture of a sodding robin. Kids these days don't know they're born!
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