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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #751
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Are ye fellas going natural or using any grooming gadgets? I bought a balm I'm yet to try. I've been told it's an improvement upon the oil I was buying.

  2. #752
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Men-Rock-Sic...=beard+shampoo

    To clean it.

    Most of the time I go natural but on some occasions I'll put this balm through it:

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beard-Balm-P...ard+balm&psc=1

    Oil is for shorter beards.

  3. #753
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    That's the exact balm I've just purchased. Woof.

  4. #754
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    What the fuck is going on in here?

  5. #755
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    What the fuck is going on in here?
    Manc and Mahow are just about to do each others eyelashes and give each other a reach around once their handcream dries in.

  6. #756
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I'm a twit

  7. #757
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'd assumed that the modern trend for beards was based around people being too lazy to shave, but if you're going to start grooming them you're just a twat.

  8. #758
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Especially Mahow. I know a couple of people who purposely look like shit to piss off the people who give them personal/fashion advice, which is the most retarded thing ive ever heard. Standing up to the man etc

  9. #759
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Mine is for laziness, and washing it is the only upkeep it requires.

  10. #760
    I used to be funny.
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    A beard requires way too much effort for me. A lad I work with has his grow back in within 2 days but mine takes two weeks to get beard-like.

  11. #761
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    Is there a worse topic of conversation than how someone maintains their beard?

  12. #762
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    You had any pizza recently?

  13. #763
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    No, and I'm a better person for it.

  14. #764
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    Though the pizza chat was usually tongue in cheek and a great distraction technique from mert and his grinding/political activities. You bastard.

  15. #765
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    The pizza chat isn't the boring bit, I was flawlessly baiting you into mentioning your weight loss.

  16. #766
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    I technically didn't mention it.

  17. #767
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Nasal hair. I must yank out 30-50 of the fuckers (to my eternal misery) a month and yet it still looks like a small Amazonian forest is growing out of there.

  18. #768
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Customer service.

    I tried to call O2 twice yesterday as my bill wasn't paid and I was cut off both times just as I was about to speak to someone. The seethe having spent so long on hold and it happening twice was incredible.

    I decided that today I'd use the live chat.

    Payment was due on the 24th (who the fuck tries to take payment on Christmas fucking Eve btw?) and I didn't have enough in my account to cover the bill, when is the latest I could pay it off without incurring any charges etc?
    Sir, I see that your payment was due on the 24th you must pay it immediately!
    ...


    He (or the manager he apparently spoke to) didn't seem to care when I asked to postpone the payment until January 4th though.

  19. #769
    I used to be funny.
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    Banks still work on Christmas Eve, Mahow.

  20. #770
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    My mother doing my head in has really peaked over the past few weeks. She just talks absolute shit at me, narrating her life to me or starting conversations like we're spies exchanging something in a park.

    *comes into the room I'm in*
    'They'll have to pay for that won't they?'
    'Who?'
    'Those people on the news.'
    *gestures towards my laptop as if to say 'I'M NOT WATCHING THE FUCKING NEWS'*
    'Haven't you seen it?'
    'What? What are you on about?'
    'Those people in the floods.'
    'What about them? Pay for what?'
    'If you can't even have a conversation...'

    We're at the point where her voice grates on me like whichever alarm tone used to wake you up for another bollocks day at school. Which jobs house you that you can you just turn up at?

  21. #771
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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  22. #772
    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    My dad has this annoying habit of phrasing the same question several times in one sentence/piece of speech.

    I lose patience straight away. Which question do you want me to answer?

  23. #773
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    'Didn't that barrier fail to open and that's why it's worse than normal?'
    'I don't know.'
    'Haven't you seen any of it?'
    'No, otherwise you would have seen me watching it.'
    'Yeah it did yeah.'
    'What?'
    'It didn't open.'
    'So why ask me if you know more about it?'
    'It's just something to make conversation about. I'm so sorry...'

    It's not even stupidity is it? If you can't even sit quietly with your own son (who you know doesn't talk a load of shite because you're always moaning about the fact and encouraging him to do so) then you're basically deranged.

  24. #774
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Does she go out much to talk nonsense to other folk? Maybe she's lonely.

  25. #775
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    She does, and doesn't seem to talk as much crap when I see/hear her with other people (boring shit, but not illogical nonsense). I can only rule out trolling because she seems to sulk whenever I shut it down, so I've no idea what motivates it.

  26. #776
    I used to be funny.
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    "I dunno, son. I think we're drifting apart..."

  27. #777
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Poor Lewis' mum.

    I reckon we'd all [secretly] think living with Lewis for a bit would be a laugh, but I'm really not so sure it would be.
    I'm a twit

  28. #778
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    We're at the point where her voice grates on me like whichever alarm tone used to wake you up for another bollocks day at school.
    Bloody spot-on.

    I'm fine with my parents normally but when we travel it can get to me. It's worse when we're out here with her 89-year-old parents, as the standards (as well as the volume) of communication decrease pretty heavily.

  29. #779
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    Attempted to update my dad's iPad using iTunes (it's old and can't be updated using the iPad).

    The update failed and now I can't use, update or restore the iPad so have to take it into an Apple store so a 'technician' can fix it. Cheers Apple.

  30. #780
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    What happens if you hold the power button and the home button for a period of time?

  31. #781
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Screenshot

  32. #782
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    If you hold it longer then it should reset.

  33. #783
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    'Didn't that barrier fail to open and that's why it's worse than normal?'
    'I don't know.'
    'Haven't you seen any of it?'
    'No, otherwise you would have seen me watching it.'
    'Yeah it did yeah.'
    'What?'
    'It didn't open.'
    'So why ask me if you know more about it?'
    'It's just something to make conversation about. I'm so sorry...'

    It's not even stupidity is it? If you can't even sit quietly with your own son (who you know doesn't talk a load of shite because you're always moaning about the fact and encouraging him to do so) then you're basically deranged.
    My Mom's the same, except she's a vigorously racist social democrat ("Bernie and Trump are the only worthwhile candidates") and always turns every discussion into an argument about how shit black people are. And then when I tell her no, the "white race" won't get killed off, she goes into "well if every conversation is going to turn into an argument we might as well not even have conversations".

    The only difference is my mom has no friends, no job and only gets to see me for 3 weeks out of the year, so I do feel bad for her.

  34. #784
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    My mum will have a sly dig at you, at which point you can choose to stay silent and get accused of ignoring her or have a dig back in which case you're picking on her.

  35. #785
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    What happens if you hold the power button and the home button for a period of time?
    Fuck all. It just goes back to the same screen of the iTunes logo and a 'connect' symbol.

  36. #786
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spoonsky View Post
    Bloody spot-on.
    Picturing an American saying this sentence has made my brain melt.

  37. #787
    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    'Didn't that barrier fail to open and that's why it's worse than normal?'
    'I don't know.'
    'Haven't you seen any of it?'
    'No, otherwise you would have seen me watching it.'
    'Yeah it did yeah.'
    'What?'
    'It didn't open.'
    'So why ask me if you know more about it?'
    'It's just something to make conversation about. I'm so sorry...'

    It's not even stupidity is it? If you can't even sit quietly with your own son (who you know doesn't talk a load of shite because you're always moaning about the fact and encouraging him to do so) then you're basically deranged.
    My grandma's got a bad back. My dad queried as to whether taking some of his tramadol might help. My mum said no. He wouldn't let it go until my mum finally explained that they would be too strong for her.

    He just wanted everyone to know that he takes stronger painkillers than anyone else.

  38. #788
    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mokbull View Post
    My Mom's the same, except she's a vigorously racist social democrat ("Bernie and Trump are the only worthwhile candidates") and always turns every discussion into an argument about how shit black people are. And then when I tell her no, the "white race" won't get killed off, she goes into "well if every conversation is going to turn into an argument we might as well not even have conversations".

    The only difference is my mom has no friends, no job and only gets to see me for 3 weeks out of the year, so I do feel bad for her.
    That boxing promoter transsexual was on Mastermind the other day and my dad kept referring to her as 'her, him' to try and make some kind of point known only to him.

  39. #789
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Do you just want everyone to know that your parent's a bigger wanker than anyone else's?

  40. #790
    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    He's not a wanker.

  41. #791
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It's not something I should bother thinking about really. When I just thought it was her being annoying she was just annoying; but the more you think about it you start to realise she's a bit of a pleb (although it explains why she doesn't get on with my brother, who is exactly the same).

  42. #792
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I'm about to stay at my gran's for a few days and I'll be equally frustrated. I can't help but call her out on the crap she talks which inevitably upsets her. I'm a terrible grandson.

  43. #793
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    I get on well with my gran. She talks endless rubbish but it's almost always entertaining.

  44. #794
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    My nan told me and my mum last year that she'd tell the police if she found out anyone in the family was doing drugs, for their own good.

    My mum does the annoying thing of getting really arsey whenever she has an argument with you, even if she initiated it, and acts like she was fully justified in being horrible if she wins the argument, but acts like you've basically bullied her if she loses the argument. I don't really care cus she's my mum and she's pretty great really, but it isn't much of a surprise that she basically hasn't got any mates any more.

    She also does that thing of defending saying really tactless and unpleasant things as 'just being honest', but loses her shit if anyone says anything even remotely critical to her. Actually, I think she'd fit in pretty well on here.

  45. #795
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Also, our team lost the quiz last night by 1 point, and a couple of times I had a hunch for the right answer but was overruled by everyone else trying to work it out with 'logic'. Always go with hunches.

  46. #796
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Getting ill. The days of endless drinking have caught up with me and I feel fucking horrid. New years eve is a write off.

  47. #797
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    'Didn't that barrier fail to open and that's why it's worse than normal?'
    'I don't know.'
    'Haven't you seen any of it?'
    'No, otherwise you would have seen me watching it.'
    'Yeah it did yeah.'
    'What?'
    'It didn't open.'
    'So why ask me if you know more about it?'
    'It's just something to make conversation about. I'm so sorry...'

    It's not even stupidity is it? If you can't even sit quietly with your own son (who you know doesn't talk a load of shite because you're always moaning about the fact and encouraging him to do so) then you're basically deranged.
    Sounds like she just wants to have a chat with her son. Bond a little, like families do.

  48. #798
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    Yeah, I'm with quincy here. Make the effort.

  49. #799
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I'm signed up with the Student Panel because they offer surveys every now and then for some money (well Amazon gift cards and you need to get to £25 to get anything), they only take like 10 minutes and they only ever offer a maximum of 2 a month. Screen outs are a bitch though, I just had one pop up with these intro questions:



    I have only ever owned a TV on that list and sadly that excluded me, although I couldn't help but lol at some of the questions. It's such a shame that I haven't transplanted a 12 foot in the past year

  50. #800
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    I tried clicking on the first button for about 10 seconds before i realized it was an image.

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