The little things in life that fuck you off

[Kikó]

Sorry for ever introducing Famleigh into your sphere of hatred

[Shindig]

They have one gimmick and it's forever shit.

[wullie]

Looking forward to them having a go at Christmas no.1 with a song that references pork pies for charity.

[Giggles]

Whatever about Baz and Mike, that’s just the way yoofs are in the TikTok age. But there’s absolutely no need for rapey old uncle tiddler to be behaving like that.

[Ian]

"rapey old uncle tiddler"

[Spikey M]

The rapey old uncle really reminds me of one of my old managers. He used to sit chatting to the women half his age, keeping them updated on how many machines he used at the gym last night and giving them unprompted advice.

I'd be willing to bet silly money that this cunt does similar.

[Boydy]

Some English people's pronunciation of "Belfast". I guess I'm gonna be hearing it a lot now thanks to Kenneth Branagh's new film.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've always disliked saying it, as it sounds stupid in my accent, but I'm not just going to start using someone else's accent for random words.

The only way around it is to put all the emphasis on 'Bel' and turn the a into a nondescript vowel.

[Spikey M]

Bell Fast. That's the word.

[Giggles]

Béal Feirste.

[Boydy]

I'm afraid you're going to have to record yourself saying it and let me judge it.

[Shindig]

This is not a workgroup for your sick fetishes, Boydy.

[Baz]

Belfarst.

[Spikey M]

The locals pronounce it brrfrr.

[-james-]

It's been mildly amusing observing my mum's pronunciation of the first syllable in "Glasgow" shift further north since I moved here and started saying it with a short a sound. It definitely sounds daft in her, and presumably my own, accent.

Not as daft as saying Glars-cow mind.

[Ian]

Scottish people get really pedantic about how English people pronounce or emphasises place names we've never fucking heard of, but will then proceed to rhyme Yorkshire with hire.

[-james-]

Scottish people get really pedantic about how English people pronounce or emphasises place names we've never fucking heard of, but will then proceed to rhyme Yorkshire with hire.

Spoken like a man who's attempted to say Milngavie without prior research.

[Ian]

Milngavie, Chatelherault, all the classics.

Funnily enough lads we don't discuss those places much when you're living in Lincolshire.

I normally just show them somewhere from England I know is misleading (Stivichall, if I'm feeling particularly Midlands that day) and then call them a thick cunt when they pronounce the v.

[Spikey M]

I was mocked by a Brummie Taxi driver for pronouncing Warwick "War-Wick", but by far the best I've come across - which is just outright idiocy - was my friend attending a party at Yacht Club and having to show the driver his phone because he had no idea what a "Yack-utt Club" was.

[Shindig]

I had one person in the office pronounce Slough as Slow which took me by surprise. Apparently the claimant tore her a new one over it.

[Ian]

Superb. How old was said friend at the time?

[Spikey M]

Superb. How old was said friend at the time?

Must have been early 20's. I'm not sure age is an excuse though, he is thick as pig shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When I was about 18 I went into a coffee shop on Victoria Street, in the heart of snooty central London, looked at the range of available coffees, and thought I'd try something different - so went for the Mocha. Unfortunately I'd never heard it said out loud, so asked for a 'Motcha'.

I've never been sneered at from so many angles by the entire staff of a place. Still gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

[Don]

Worcester is, and forever will be, Worchester to me.

[Shindig]

Towcester took me longer to grasp than I like to admit.

[niko_cee]

Milngavie, Chatelherault, all the classics.

Funnily enough lads we don't discuss those places much when you're living in Lincolshire.

I normally just show them somewhere from England I know is misleading (Stivichall, if I'm feeling particularly Midlands that day) and then call them a thick cunt when they pronounce the v.

Suckyhall street. I mean, come on. All the whiskies as well, 99% of which are clearly on the wind-up [we'll tell 'em we say it like this . . .]

It's actually impossible to say loch correctly as a non-native speaker.

You can always fight back against the jocks by asking them to say the name Carl. No, not Carol, Carl.

[-james-]

When I was about 18 I went into a coffee shop on Victoria Street, in the heart of snooty central London, looked at the range of available coffees, and thought I'd try something different - so went for the Mocha. Unfortunately I'd never heard it said out loud, so asked for a 'Motcha'.

I've never been sneered at from so many angles by the entire staff of a place. Still gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

I had heard of Cajun food and thought it clearly looked like a Spanish word. Had to point at the menu when the waitress had no idea what "Cahoon chicken" was.

[Ian]

You can always fight back against the jocks by asking them to say the name Carl. No, not Carol, Carl.

I've genuinely had to stop somebody mid-anecdote one day to ask which name they were saying, had them say 'Carl' then 'Carol' and got them to the point where even they weren't quite sure of the difference in how they said the two.

Did derail the anecdote a bit.

[Baz]

I sneer at people who mispronounce Southwell and Naas.

[Shindig]

Chichester, South Shields has a stupid, appropriate Geordie pronunciation.

[niko_cee]

Chy-cheast-ah [man]?

[Ben]

I've heard multiple different ways of pronouncing Cirencester.

[Ian]

It's telling that just typing 'chichester south' in Google then prompted me for 'chichester south shields pronunciation.'

Is it just that the first syllable rhymes with tie?

[Shindig]

Yep. First time I heard it, I thought there was some serious piss-taking going on.

[Raoul Duke]

Went to a place in Cornwall called 'Mousehole' which is pronounced 'Mow'-(as in how now brown cow) -'zul'.

[Ian]

This chat just reminded me of Bobby De Niro pronouncing Hereford a couple of minutes into this.

[niko_cee]

One of the most egregious mispronunciations in history that one, given the context in which he's grilling Bean.

[Manc]

"Oh fuck off". Classic Bean. What film is it?

[Ian]

Ronin.

I didn't think it was very good when I saw it but that must be at least ten years ago now. Probably more.

[Disco]

Great car chase in Ronin plus Sean Bean shouting about raspberry jam.

[Baz]

Got a new bathroom fitted and was told to leave it to "set" until this morning. Had a shower this morning, all good. Ran a bath for my daughter and the hot and cold taps were the wrong way round (not as in I'm pedantic about right and left but the blue one was hot water and the red one was cold). Then tested the bathroom taps and the hot tap produced cold water and the hot tap did nothing.

They've just left, after coming to fix the "snags" and said right we're done so I went to check it and the bath taps were now correct but the sink taps were still the wrong way round, albeit both working.

Dead good. They've also definitely stolen my [only] screwdrivers.

[Spikey M]

I probably wouldn't employ a workman that needed my tools in the first place tbh.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Up there they'll steal anything just for the sake of it.

[Baz]

I probably wouldn't employ a workman that needed my tools in the first place tbh.

I’d just left them on the windowsill in the room they’d stored everything, cos I’d be changing some window handles.

[Pepe]

Getting the 'Got it, thanks' email reply. Fuck off with your one button replies, you cunt. Write something for me.

[Ian]

Thanks, Pep.

[Pepe]

You're welcome!

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Enjoy the holidays.

[Giggles]

Have today off because of the NFL but now I discover the wife has a day off today too, so now I can’t sit around in a bath robe watching YouTube all day.

[niko_cee]

"YouTube"