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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #8551
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Queenslander.

    If you're going to a barbers that doesn't have a booking system you're doing it wrong.
    I shaved my beard but I had brilliant local barber during the covid times.

  2. #8552
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Queenslander.

    If you're going to a barbers that doesn't have a booking system you're doing it wrong.
    My barber doesn't use a booking system, he also charges £15 less than the ones who do.

  3. #8553
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    It shows, M8.

  4. #8554
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Could a beard not be self done?

  5. #8555
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    It shows, M8.


    It actually looks good when it is freshly cut but my hair grows like a cresshead on miracle grow and I refuse to go more often than monthly.

    I have some tools for managing the beard but if you make a mistake it can spiral into a fuck up rapidly, happened in lockdown and it was a good job I didn't have to leave the house for a while.
    Last edited by Lofty; 12-12-2021 at 07:55 AM.

  6. #8556
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I gave up on mine lately so I’m sporting a top notch chrome dome with the fluff on the sides and back. Bit more and I could try a combover.

  7. #8557
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Would you like to be called Mr Burns or Prince William going forward?

  8. #8558
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I’d love to see Wills sporting a handlebar.

  9. #8559
    I used to be funny.
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    I've only had to queue once in my barbers but it was like an hour wait.

  10. #8560
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I rather have all the cookies in the world automatically downloaded into everything I own that having to click on all that shit every time I go to a website.

  11. #8561
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    I rather have all the cookies in the world automatically downloaded into everything I own that having to click on all that shit every time I go to a website.
    This x 10,000,000.

  12. #8562
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    My phone appears to be on the way out. The battery plummets from 100% to 20% in about 15 minutes, then when connected to charge it goes back up to 100% just as quickly.

    Anyone had this? I presume it's terminal?

  13. #8563
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Was happening to mine a few weeks back. I bought a new charger and it's worked wonders. How old is the handset?

  14. #8564
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Ah. I'll give that a try, cheers. It's only a year or so old. I think I'm only half way through my contract.

  15. #8565
    Senior Member CJay's Avatar
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    Can’t you take it / send it somewhere for a battery replacement? Sounds like the battery is dead / dying.

  16. #8566
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    If it's an iPhone there's a battery health readout it can give you in Settings > Battery. Might be an Android equivalent

  17. #8567
    I used to be funny.
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    Mine had a hiccup the other day where I'd start with 24%, get off my bus an hour later and it'd be down to 4% only for it to rebound back to 20% when I got home after work.

  18. #8568
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Your microchips are draining power from the battery through their electrical field.

  19. #8569
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    For about two months now the local Sainsburys has been devoid of proper cans of coke, there's a big space on the shelf for them but they never have any. Plenty of the other shitty varieties, tiny cans and bottles but none of the normal stuff. I now make a point of walking down that aisle whenever I go just to see if they've managed to find any.

  20. #8570
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Keep us updated please.
    I'm a twit

  21. #8571
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    For about two months now the local Sainsburys has been devoid of proper cans of coke, there's a big space on the shelf for them but they never have any. Plenty of the other shitty varieties, tiny cans and bottles but none of the normal stuff. I now make a point of walking down that aisle whenever I go just to see if they've managed to find any.
    It was the same with cans of Dr Pepper zero during lockdown last year. I checked every time I went to Morrison’s but it took a solid year or so for supply to be reinstated.

  22. #8572
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    The Linda McCartney cheese and leek pasties had the same issue. Ive only recently found them once again recently.

  23. #8573
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Bread sauce for me this year. Couldn’t be got.

  24. #8574
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Just make it mate.

  25. #8575
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I must have said about the bread sauce before because I do recall saying it wouldn't be the same before.

  26. #8576
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    https://www.norfolk.police.uk/wanted.../leon-punchard

    We got stuck on the a47 for 3 and a half hours the other night because this nobend was threatening to lob himself off the bridge and then somehow ran away.

    Road was closed til 2.30am but they turned us all round at about quarter to 12 (god knows why it took so long).

  27. #8577
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    That's where snipers are needed.

  28. #8578
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    5 foot 4? I'm surprised it took him until 30.

  29. #8579
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    He looks 45.

  30. #8580
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I must have said about the bread sauce before because I do recall saying it wouldn't be the same before.
    You did.

    But also: any bread sauce > no bread sauce.

  31. #8581
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    It'd also be better not worse.

  32. #8582
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    It'd also be better not worse.
    Yeah but Giggles is very set in his ways.

  33. #8583
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Different from something you’ve had for 20+ years is always going to be worse, even if it’s “nicer”. I just didn’t have any after.

  34. #8584
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    At least give it a go mate.

  35. #8585
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    At least give it a go mate.
    Boomers don't like change.

  36. #8586
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    At least give it a go mate.
    I probably will do when I don’t have everyone over on Christmas Day.

  37. #8587
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Spent 3 days raising my daughters tamagotchi and she’s been on it this morning and somehow got rid of it and started again with a new egg. RIP little fella.
    I'm a twit

  38. #8588
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    So fucking weird.

  39. #8589
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    So fucking weird.
    Agreed, nuking a 3 day old tamagotchi pet is mental. Tell her she's weird from me and Spikes, baz.

  40. #8590
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Buying a pack of cigarettes as I have done every other day for the last 17 years.

    Them: Do you have ID?

    Me:I have a Swiss ID, I don't like to carry my passport round incase I lose it.

    *Staring at it*

    Me:I'm 33.

    Them:I can see that but I have to check if this ID is real.

    Why? You think I've got a fake ID that says I'm 15 years years over the legal age?

  41. #8591
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's lucky you have to be an expert in International Fraud to man the till at the local Shell Garage.

  42. #8592
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Was at the pub tonight and felt that this guy was going left and right to say how funny the Asian bartenders name was. He came up to me and I said his ‘hilarious’ joke wasn’t funny and that saying that his mate wanted to have gay sex with him wasn’t funny either.

    He took that badly and said ‘mate I’m not racist. Here’s a joke, ‘what do you call a black guy on a zebra crossing.’’ He said ‘now you see me now you don’t’ and I didn’t laugh. He got very angry at me.

    I saw him outside when smoking a cig and he asked what my problem was and I said his jokes weren’t funny. I asked where he was from because I thought he was welsh but turns out he’s a traveller.

    He claimed that I was easily offended. At which point him and his mate blocked me from re-entering the pub because I hated travellers.

  43. #8593
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    I mean if you're not gonna laugh at banter like that after a few, you need to find yourself a craft beer gaff.

  44. #8594
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Gotta call a dickhead a dickhead. Cant let a barman get bullied whos clearly hating it because hes contractually obliged to.

  45. #8595
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    What was the original joke?

  46. #8596
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    And what sort of "Asian"?

  47. #8597
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    You're asking for it working in a bar with a name like 'Por Dit Wong', and I bet he was lolling along with them before phonics started causing bother.

  48. #8598
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Yeah racism is definitely cool and funny so long as it's in a pub. Can't believe you didn't laugh at that hilarious zebra crossing joke you probably first heard on the playground when you were about 13.

  49. #8599
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    They can't have been proper travellers if you're able to post after that altercation. It was probably Tommy Fury.

  50. #8600
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Nobody on this planet has ever needed a slap more than that old cunt on the left.



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