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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #6901
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    My mate woke up after a drunken night out to find he'd dropped £70 or something similarly ludicrous on an Elite Singles subscription that he is entirely not the target market for and doesn't have the confidence or the chat to pull anybody dickhead enough to go on there.

  2. #6902
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Could've been worse - he could have bought signed framed Braveheart memorabilia.
    I'm a twit

  3. #6903
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Did you do that?

  4. #6904
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Foe did.

  5. #6905
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Excellent.

  6. #6906
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    £70 would have been a bargain too. Mine was £95.

  7. #6907
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Some absolute basic commented this into my timeline.


    2k likes, 3.5k shares, 13k comments on possibly the most banal fake text message I've ever seen

  8. #6908
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I didn't realise I had a headache until this fucking bagpiper set up to busk across the road from our office.

  9. #6909
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    No bagpipe (a name even Americans would be proud of) has ever produced a pleasant noise so I assume he's hoping someone will pay him to go away.

  10. #6910
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    No bagpipe (a name even Americans would be proud of) has ever produced a pleasant noise so I assume he's hoping someone will pay him to go away.
    So wrong. Such a pleasant instrument.

  11. #6911
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    The pipe bit maybe, but the horrible droning bag that goes with it is just awful.

  12. #6912
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Bagpipes are the worst instrument known to man (second being the accordion) and one of my Dad's friends played one. I've heard it way too many times.

  13. #6913
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Bagpipes are great. Guitar is where we went wrong

  14. #6914
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Bagpipes are great. A proper pipe band is brilliant.

  15. #6915
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Not a big fan of bagpipes myself. The accordion isn't great when used in the sulky European way, but throw it in a cumbia and then it's perfect.

  16. #6916
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Bagpipes are great. A proper pipe band is brilliant.
    Red hot chilli pipers. So good.

  17. #6917
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Bagpipes sound like someone wheezing into a too close microphone forever.

  18. #6918
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Stood in dog poo and got in the car. Didn’t realise and did my usual “the floors wet outside” ritual of rubbing my feet on the car mat. Then I got a whiff.
    I'm a twit

  19. #6919
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    I got some nice rubber car mats for like $12 the other day.

    $12 > scrubbing shit out of carpet for any hour

  20. #6920
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Never take a car from a dealer until they put in a set for free.

  21. #6921
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Best example of bagpipes are the not-actual-bagpipes guitar riff in 'in a big country' by big country.


  22. #6922
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I love that song.

    When I first joined last FM (when it was Audioscrobbler) they were the first band it recommended to me.
    I'm a twit

  23. #6923
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    The finest hour of the bagpipe occured fifty years ago [you may skip the first 45 seconds].


  24. #6924
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It was Bon Scott pretending to play them on the back of that lorry.

  25. #6925
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    I got some nice rubber car mats for like $12 the other day.

    $12 > scrubbing shit out of carpet for any hour
    Blasted it with the hosepipe and then put it in the washing machine. Sorted.
    I'm a twit

  26. #6926
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Shower in my hotel room is either 'fuck that's hot' or 'time to melt your skin off'

  27. #6927
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    This man grinded literal shit into his mat and is gonna throw it in on a rinse cycle

  28. #6928
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Blasted it with the hosepipe and then put it in the washing machine. Sorted.
    I enjoyed watching the snapchat of the wash.

  29. #6929
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I just caught some smack head cunt trying to steal/rob from my car. I assume that was what he was trying to do anyway, he had a bag with him and was fucking about with a palette knife.

    I'm feeling a mixture of coolness (I kicked his legs out from under him ) and dread now (we go away for a week tomorrow).

    I've told him if he fucks off and doesn't come back I won't call the old bill. Mostly because I can't be fucked to wait 9 hours for them to come out and take a report that they won't follow up on.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 06-10-2019 at 10:41 PM.

  30. #6930
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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  31. #6931
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Idiotmouse.

  32. #6932
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Spikey walking into the office tomorrow:


  33. #6933
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Have you got a gif of Spikey returning from holiday and realising his car is gone?

  34. #6934
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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  35. #6935
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Car will be coming with us. It's entrance through the back door I'm worried about. ( )

  36. #6936
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Set up some Home Alone/Skyfall style comedy traps.

  37. #6937
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    @Pepe please tell me you googled "european car park" or something similar for that image as well lolololol that was fucking hilarious

  38. #6938
    I used to be funny.
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    One for the thread: People in their 20's and 30's thinking 'lol' and posts entirely in lower case is acceptable. Sorry, Bruh. You do it a lot but I see it elsewhere.

  39. #6939
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    @Pepe please tell me you googled "european car park" or something similar for that image as well lolololol that was fucking hilarious
    Just Googled 'Spikey is a mong' and that was the first hit.

  40. #6940
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Sorry, Bruh. You do it a lot but I see it elsewhere.
    here i was going to just take a deep breath and let this obvious disrespect go but low and behold you fucking edited this direct shot in

    well i just went back and removed all upper cases and punctuation so take that comma cunt exclamation

  41. #6941
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    I will say this is the only forum I've ever been to in my 20+ years of internet anyone has actually given a single fuck about punctuation and things of that nature. Ironically, this isn't the first time this was brought to my attention either. Siiiiiigh.

  42. #6942
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    That’s because we’re all old.

  43. #6943
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's also one of the reasons we've survived and thrived for this many years. Quality control. Sure, you can say worthwhile things writing like diljeet, but nobody wants to trawl through reading them.

  44. #6944
    I used to be funny.
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    That and text speak is redundant.

  45. #6945
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    lol rekt

  46. #6946
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    What is text speak

  47. #6947
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Grab sum ale n den u will c

  48. #6948
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    What is text speak
    The way some people wrote because they were using a T9 keyboard on a Nokia.

  49. #6949
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    avin a piss lol

  50. #6950
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    It all depends on how you want your tone to be perceived. I assumed we'd all moved on from giving a shit but autocorrect kept us above board. I wouldn't bother to capitalise on a phone if I had to press shift each time.

    Regardless, Shindig is not somebody that should ever be listened to when it comes to judging what is "acceptable."

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