I haven't paid whatever it is some firm charged me for boarding up my door after the police broke it down for no reason and then refused to pay. The threatening letters stopped about three months ago.
I haven't paid whatever it is some firm charged me for boarding up my door after the police broke it down for no reason and then refused to pay. The threatening letters stopped about three months ago.
The police refused to pay for that? What in the actual fuck?
Yep. They (or their in-house lawyers) concluded that they had reason to believe there was danger to life, and under section whatever of the Breaking Into Your House Act, that trumps any other considerations and makes them liable for nothing.
The fact that there was absolutely no reason to believe there was danger to life other than the bizarre imaginings of my batty neighbour doesn't enter the legal logic.
Cops should also be locksmiths, really.
It’s bad enough at the best of times but currently 6 of 11 Sky Sports channels are showing the same show about George fucking Floyd
I can only imagine the horror a week on Friday for the jubilee. It's going to be the same thing on every channel if there's any sort of official event going on. Fortunately I shall be at sea for at least some of it.
Even the sports?
I recall the grim days of Diana dying where only football Italia rode to the rescue for some brief respite on that Sunday.
Will there be any sport on next Friday? Maybe some cricket?
Now I know why our northy lad in work has two days off for a ‘public holiday’.
In an effort to get fit again I bought a treadmill. Set it up all seemed to work fine until I ran on it and thought it was taking suspiciously long to run a km. Sure enough when I checked a km at 10km per hour is taking 6 minutes and 39 seconds for the first and 6 minutes 30 seconds for any subsequent ones. FFS.
I have quite a clear memory of the Italian GP running at Monza with Diana stuff going on, but maybe it was the week after.Originally Posted by niko_cee
And yeah, the Test match is on Thursday and Friday.
How fitting it will be on Big Liz's special weekend for us to be getting spanked to death by a member of the Commonwealth.
Week after was the funeral [although that was a Saturday] so not sure on the GP.
Death was the last day of the summer holidays. Liverpool's first game of the season [against Newcastle?] sacked off whilst most other teams got to play their opener on the Saturday [made things worse]. Pretty sure both BBC channels and ITV were fully embracing of the nascent 24 hours news culture, with the beeb going above and beyond and running the same fucking coverage on both channels. Wiki tells me the GP was a week later. Channel 4 saved the day. Not sure 5 existed yet.
Nah, the GP definitely ran because I distinctly remember Damon Hill talking about how it was a bad day for the country. Unless I've Mandela's that.
Which one did you buy?
I remember the morning clear as day, my old man had been on the piss the night before, then got called into work at 5am or whatever as he was in royalty protection at the time (luckily, she'd refused their protection for a while before that, presumably so she could shag Dodi in peace, so they didn't all get fired).
Don't remember anything after that until Elton and the funeral. All the political and Tony-related stuff passed me by even as a fairly switched on 9 year old.
How many bathrooms does your parents’ home have?
An ensuite in the master bedroom and another one, so I guess that makes two.
Walking back from the Tesco by the train station with my marmalade and seeded loaf, I got that terrible realisation that I needed a shit and I might get caught short. Ran into the house, haphazardly dumped (lol) the bread and marmalade on the side, seemingly safe. As I ran into the shower room I heard the marmalade smash, then for the second time in about 3 years I literally shat all over the shower room floor. I feel like my body is capable of holding it in sufficiently to avoid the indignity of shitting my pants, but actually getting to the toilet is a step too far.
Terrible that I didn't even get to enjoy the relaxing last couple of minutes of the poo as I could just see the first 75% on the floor. Thank Christ we don't live in an era of carpeted bathrooms and shower rooms anymore. So just spent the last fifteen minutes hoovering and dustpan and brushing the lovely marmalade I was gonna have for my supper, and literally scooping up my own poo with toilet paper and wiping the floor with cleaning product. I haven't even drank since Wednesday ffs.
At least, unlike last time, I didn't get any on my jeans.
You took your trousers off before you got to the toilet?
It was like manically pulling them down as I waddled/jogged into the shower room. I didn't have time not to multitask.
Fine cut or shredless?
He cut it too fine clearly.
Frank Cooper fine cut.
And it was about 5 or 6 on the Bristol stool chart. 5.75
Once is too many.As I ran into the shower room I heard the marmalade smash, then for the second time in about 3 years ...
I actually had pretty bad IBS as a teenager, so sorta learned to manage it (mostly taking opportunities to shit when presented even if I wasn't desperate), but now my guts are more reliable, the occasions they do go loco I'm less prepared. It's twice now, but I've had a handful of near misses. nothing will probably top shitting in a carrier bag in my tent at womad in 2008.
Yeah, sounds like you're over the worst of it.
I am obviously old now because kids talking to their phone whilst holding it horizontally in front of them really irritates me.
Yeah, I hate that too. It doesn't just look stupid but must be really ineffective.
The portmanteu in the football thread. So clunky when I read it in my head, which I'm doing constantly.
I read it as though it's about the 1978 World Cup.
This is what happens when amateurs have a go at doing the football thread.
Today is my birthday. Opening my presents was interrupted by a car alarm going off outside. My car alarm. Cos the battery’s dead. Happy birthday!It was replaced in February but I’ve not driven it for about 3 weeks so my own daft fault, really.
I'm a twit
So really you got the greatest gift of all: an important reminder about car maintenance.
Happy birthday!
Alarm battery working perfectly too, you've come out on top here.
Best birthday ever.
Car alarms have to be one of the bottom five inventions of humanity.
Spoken like a true thief
I don't think I've ever heard a car alarm and thought even for a second that someone was trying to steal the car.
I wish I had been smart enough to think of getting your car alarm to go off, a true gift for the ages that.
No I think any time I've heard one and was able to see the car it's just a car sitting with nobody nearby parping away to itself and being annoying.
Some cunt with an overly-twitchy alarm parked down our old road a few years back. They clearly didn't live anywhere near as it went off every 5 minutes all fucking night without them moving it.
Luckily one of the local residents bricked the windscreen to ensure they couldn't move it in the morning either. Top points for making a bad situation worse, dick head.
Last edited by Spikey M; 04-06-2022 at 06:50 PM.
Where I used to live in Dublin you used to nrealy hear one more than you didn't. Most of them are going off because people are mongs.
"Functions" at hotels. We're currently in Southampton for a weekend at Peppa Pig World (yes, again) and staying at a Holiday Inn. There's a wedding here, so of course they've just taken over the gaff.
The normal dinner menu is off, in favour of a buffet - no doubt the scraps from the wedding. Fine, McDonald's it is, whatever. But now all the little cunts in their adorable little suits and dresses are thundering up and down the corridor and a terrible DJ is currently clumsily cutting between Eagles and Phil Collins numbers.
On the plus side, the blushing bride - a 40 something mother of atleast 3 with the audacity to wear white - is currently stood outside in the rain having a ciggy. Hopefully that does some damage.
Christ I'm a miserable cunt these days.
How many 'weekends at Peppa Pig World' before you go out for milk and never come back?
The youngest is 3, so this will possibly be the last before he's too old for it. That said, I quite enjoy it. Poultons it's self is pretty good and the eldest can go on some of the bigger rides now, so it's not just going around in slow circles on various undersized trains and boats.
It's just the shitty hotels that irk.
I’ve never known a good hotel in England. It’s all either airport type cheapo job or some 6 bedroom weirdo spot where the owners live there too.
Agreed. Center Parcs is the only exception, but it's not really a "hotel".
Yeah, even the fancier ones feel empty and dull.
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