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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #5901
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Would they call it Field Hockey? And it's mainly played on astroturf these days. Marginally superior to ice hockey as you can sometimes see the ball.

  2. #5902
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    Field Hockey's the one.

    Also you can see the puck plenty in hockey you just gotta get used to it

  3. #5903
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Lacrosse is better than field hockey if we’re going there

  4. #5904
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    Lolcrosse. Anyways.

  5. #5905
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    Lacrosse is better than field hockey if we’re going there
    Just when America wins me over again, I always remember that men (or rather, boys) playing lacrosse is a big thing.

    At my boys' school, which was next to a girls' school, they once did an exhibition match whereby the 1st XI football team were forced to don skirts and take on the girls at lacrosse. How the whole endeavour wasn't reported to the police I have no idea.

  6. #5906
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    It's really not a thing. Only scrawny white kids who can't play any other sports pick it up.

  7. #5907
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Here it is girls only, like netball. Actually I don't think netball has ever made it out of the commonwealth, and nor should it to be honest.

  8. #5908
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    I don't particularly like lacrosse nor do I care, but lacrosse players are always among the most athletic kids wherever I've seen them. Scrawny is for basketball and tennis (through high school, anyway). Have no idea how you could be a scrawny lacrosse player, you're fighting people with sticks and throwing balls out of those sticks.

  9. #5909
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    At my boys' school, which was next to a girls' school, they once did an exhibition match whereby the 1st XI football team were forced to don skirts and take on the girls at lacrosse. How the whole endeavour wasn't reported to the police I have no idea.
    We did that with netball, sans the skirts. Which fucking idiot came up with that sport?

  10. #5910
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Someone who wanted women to know their place (Wing Defence, in this case).

  11. #5911
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    Prep school kids like me played lacrosse. Strangely, I’ve never actually seen a game on television but this is what I remember from twenty odd years of playing it.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XouEgqXqRjQ

  12. #5912
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I always imagined lacrosse being played out on some windy rain-soaked bog (must have been conflating it with hurling), not being a non-ice version of puckball.

  13. #5913
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    Either outdoors on baseball diamonds or indoors with AstroTurf over a floor covering the ice in a hockey rink. My guess is that must be in Canada where they have some purpose built whatever they are called. Those only exist in the US at places like where Jared Kushner went to high school.

  14. #5914
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    He only thing Ibknow about Lacrosse is that the boring one out of American Pie played it.

  15. #5915
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    He only thing Ibknow about Lacrosse is that the boring one out of American Pie played it.
    Couple of guys I went to uni with starting playing it. They were not athletic guys and faired quite well at it. Says everything you need to know about the sport to me.

    It's bloody hard though. Hand eye coordination is pretty much the key skill.

  16. #5916
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I got drenched yesterday in the rain, and I think my iPod has had it. 2007 to 2018. What a thing.

  17. #5917
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Time to buy a turtleneck.

  18. #5918
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    How would that have helped?

  19. #5919
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    You’d still have a broken iPod but atleast you’d get to look gay.

  20. #5920
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    Watching an absolute beast of a woman berate a lifeguard for having the temerity to mover her sunbeds so that he could put his little tower stool out whilst on holiday. Did we learn nothing from Gareth Southgate?

  21. #5921
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    Sinks.

    I should imagine the humble sink was perfected decades ago and really the only thing that should be messed with now is the colour.

    Despite this, people seem to think it's a good idea to have one with a flat basin (so none of the shit that falls in it naturally washes down) and the latest perversion I've just stumbled upon, one with a plug that you can't remove.

    I mean.

  22. #5922
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Yes mate. I was in a pub yesterday with ones so shallow that the tap (one of the push-down ones, so offering you no pressure choice) blasted water up into your crotch like some Beadle's About shit.

  23. #5923
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The sink at my work is absolutely fucking perfectly shaped to redirect the water back up the bowl, over the edge and onto your trousers.

  24. #5924
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I demand a two-sink setup for the kitchen. One basin to wash, one to rinse. Perverts who give their plates a cursory wipe in a sink full of dirty soapy water then immediately put them on the drying rack make me sick, it's like drying your hair immediately after putting shampoo in it. SCUM.

  25. #5925
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Also I hate how my flappy foreskin means I have to either shake my cock dry for about half a minute, making me look like a perv wanking in the urinal or use the cubicle like a piss-shy freak. On the plus side, having to use toilet paper after I piss means I'm far more in touch with womankind.

  26. #5926
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Get it cut off like a real man.
    I'm a twit

  27. #5927
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Also I hate how my flappy foreskin means I have to either shake my cock dry for about half a minute, making me look like a perv wanking in the urinal or use the cubicle like a piss-shy freak. On the plus side, having to use toilet paper after I piss means I'm far more in touch with womankind.
    Just pull it back when you piss you weirdo.

  28. #5928
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Just pull it back when you piss you weirdo.
    As well as flappy foreskin I also have a slightly too big urethra so pulled back the piss just goes everywhere. Neither issue is severe enough to require medical attention though, it's just annoying.

  29. #5929
    Senior Member Bam's Avatar
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    I now know far to much about Igors cock than I've ever wanted to know.

  30. #5930
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    sorry bam

  31. #5931
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    TMI, fam.

  32. #5932
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    When people call, the phone rings out, and then they call immediately right back.

    Mate, they didn't answer the first time. OOOOOOOOh my God and they've done it again. 3 times now.

    (I work in a shared office)

  33. #5933
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    you're just jealous of my big meaty foreskin you circumcised yanky freak

  34. #5934
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I watched my wife's gran cut a scone vertically.

    WTF.

  35. #5935
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Also I hate how my flappy foreskin means I have to either shake my cock dry for about half a minute, making me look like a perv wanking in the urinal or use the cubicle like a piss-shy freak. On the plus side, having to use toilet paper after I piss means I'm far more in touch with womankind.
    I'm not a freak you enlarged urethra cunt.

  36. #5936
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    Not to be weird but uncircumsized freaks me out. Not that I spend a lot of time on the subject but yikes!

    Glad my parents were sensible folk.

  37. #5937
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    It's an interesting tribute to a wonderful singer to talk about your urethra frankly.

  38. #5938
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    It's an interesting tribute to a wonderful singer to talk about your urethra frankly.
    Jog on you utter fanny.

  39. #5939
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    Last entry for the day:

    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    It's an interesting tribute to a wonderful singer to talk about your urethra frankly.
    ^this post

  40. #5940
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Fuck the haters, that’s brilliant John.

  41. #5941
    Respect the point. Byron's Avatar
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    I wouldn't worry, it wasn't Magic's turn to use the sole brain cell that Dundee has.

  42. #5942
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    He hasn't posted since. On the ropes and crying in to his leased golden Nike basketball shoes.

  43. #5943
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    He hasn't posted since. On the ropes and crying in to his leased golden Nike basketball shoes.
    What? Even by your lofty standards that's utter nonsense.

  44. #5944
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    What? Even by your lofty standards that's utter nonsense.
    That's a nice tribute to a wonderful poster.

  45. #5945
    I used to be funny.
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    I'll be honest, if John turned out to be a proper Ned, my day would be made up.

  46. #5946
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    This Pope thing is becoming highly inconvenient.

  47. #5947
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Pope thing?

  48. #5948
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    He's visiting Ireland.

  49. #5949
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    And having most of Dublin shut down for the weekend in the process.

  50. #5950
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    How many noncing apologies have been scheduled?

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