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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #6701
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Someone I went to uni with tried to boil potatoes in her kettle.
    You'll be amazed how many hotel workers find a boiled egg in the kettle.

  2. #6702
    Senior Member igor_balis's Avatar
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    My mate bought a house that had previously been occupied by a very old couple who had been going senile and shit. After getting the keys he found some chicken still in the oven that the old girl had obviously put in and forgotten about.

    Rather than taking out the chicken and cleaning it or just landfilling it, he just put the fucking oven with the chicken still inside it in the garage and put some fucking hazard tape around it. I couldn't stop laughing for about 20 minutes, what a fucking psycho.

  3. #6703
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Someone at work recently got the keys to his first house. The freezer was full of dead baby birds.
    I'm a twit

  4. #6704
    Senior Member Alex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Someone at work recently got the keys to his first house. The freezer was full of dead baby birds.


    If that were me I would be very worried about what might be buried in the back garden.

  5. #6705
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Taxidermy is quite in nowadays isn't it, and that's where they tend to keep their specimens before doing whatever it i they do to them.

  6. #6706
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Apparently they were for feeding to a hawk, but I’d stopped listening so missed the full story. No doubt it’ll still give me nightmares.
    I'm a twit

  7. #6707
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Shredded lettuce, specifically when found in burgers or similar. Just put the whole leaf in, not only are you saving yourself a job but it's far easier to eat.

  8. #6708
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Just keep the lettuce off.

  9. #6709
    Senior Member Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Just keep the lettuce off.


    Or even a nicer leaf, it's not 1982 any more.

  10. #6710
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Lettuce is amazing on a burger, what would you replace it with?

  11. #6711
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Another burger.

  12. #6712
    Lost the old board bruhnaldo's Avatar
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    Didn't know my mans Spikey was American at heart MO' BURGERS.

  13. #6713
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Keeping with the food theme, fruit from the supermarket that is tagged as 'Ripen in bowl'. What it should say is 'GOOD LUCK EATING ANY OF THESE INSIDE A WEEK ASSHOLE'

  14. #6714
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I prefer my bananas a bit green/hard.
    I'm a twit

  15. #6715
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    I prefer my bananas a bit green/hard.
    Just like Miss Piggy.

  16. #6716
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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  17. #6717
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Not sure where's appropriate for this post.

    Mexican Food in Mexico? Not so bueno. Too much flour in everything.

  18. #6718
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Flour? Where the fuck are you eating?

  19. #6719
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Your mum.

  20. #6720
    Lost the old board bruhnaldo's Avatar
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    Different type of flower.

  21. #6721
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I always get yeast and flour mixed up.

  22. #6722
    Lost the old board bruhnaldo's Avatar
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    lmfao ffs.

  23. #6723
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Not sure where's appropriate for this post.

    Mexican Food in Mexico? Not so bueno. Too much flour in everything.
    Sir, I believe that may be cocaine

  24. #6724
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    People who put a spoon or fork in their mouth, and you can hear the contact with it on their teeth. Go fuck yourself.

  25. #6725
    Lost the old board bruhnaldo's Avatar
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    tf how is that even a thing. my mouth hurts just imagining such a hell.

  26. #6726
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I hold them directly above my mouth and then use another fork/spoon to scrape the stuff into my mouth.

  27. #6727
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    What is wrong with you? That's what the knife is for.

  28. #6728
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    I love the sound of people chewing loudly, but any sort of metal on teeth action is fucking horrifying

  29. #6729
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danny View Post
    What is wrong with you? That's what the knife is for.
    Holding a knife above your face is dangerous.

  30. #6730
    Lost the old board bruhnaldo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    I love the sound of people chewing loudly
    This is serial killer type shit.

  31. #6731
    Senior Member Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    I love the sound of people chewing loudly


    Extreme levels.

  32. #6732
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    ASMR is the new new. Get on it lads.

  33. #6733
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    ASMR is amazing.

    ASMRDarling > *.

  34. #6734
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    I only watch the eating channels, all that other roleplay shit is just so weird I avoid it entirely

  35. #6735
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    I only watch the eating channels, all that other roleplay shit is just so weird I avoid it entirely
    She mixes it up a lot, there's a bit of everything and yeah the roleplay stuff is crap.

  36. #6736
    Lost the old board bruhnaldo's Avatar
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    is that like in Fight club where they do guided meditation and she's like "enter your caaaave..... there you'll find your spirit animal......" type shit?

  37. #6737
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    This video is from one of the best channels from the old-school days. Might've been the first eating channel I got really into actually, but she doesn't really post videos anymore

  38. #6738
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    is that like in Fight club where they do guided meditation and she's like "enter your caaaave..... there you'll find your spirit animal......" type shit?
    A lot of the time it's the person pretending to be giving you a face massage or "helping with anxiety" or putting on makeup. I can't fuck with that, I just want someone to talk about their day and chew into the mic

  39. #6739
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    ASMR is for deviants, without exception.

  40. #6740
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    This video is from one of the best channels from the old-school days. Might've been the first eating channel I got really into actually, but she doesn't really post videos anymore
    What did I just watch?

    I have no words.

  41. #6741
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    This video is from one of the best channels from the old-school days. Might've been the first eating channel I got really into actually, but she doesn't really post videos anymore
    I dont understand the attraction...

  42. #6742
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I only briefly skimmed the Wiki page for ASMR. Is it basically weirdos getting their jollies off unusual sounds?

  43. #6743
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Have you ever used one of those scalp massagers that look like a whisk that’s been pulled apart at the bottom? The feeling it gives is pretty similar to ASMR. Most people don’t feel it though so its pointless to try to “get into it”

  44. #6744
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    ASMR is for deviants, without exception.
    Post some of your favourites.
    I'm a twit

  45. #6745
    I used to be funny.
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    There's probably one of Nigel Mansell reciting the alphabet forwards and backwards.

  46. #6746
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    ASMR is amazing.

    ASMRDarling > *.
    That's the least surprising thing ever, but I expected better of Mokkers

  47. #6747
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I can't find any drugs in Mexico. it's genuinely easier to buy them in Switzerland.

  48. #6748
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    And now we see why.

  49. #6749
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    There's a teenage boy having what I presume to be a party in next door's garden (on a Monday night, as you do), and there is some form of music booming out with which I am really not familiar. It sounds somewhat like hip hop but there's nobody rapping on it that I can hear, and all the noises sound like nuclear power plant warning sirens, or just the general sound of an industrial hellscape, but to a defined beat.

    What am I having to listen to?

  50. #6750
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Your own descent into middle aged irrelevance.

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