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Thread: News of the day

  1. #1301
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Between the act itself and the excuse ('Oh. Fair enough, mate'), it's the best news story ever.

  2. #1302
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    It takes something pretty special for an old man to be in the news for trying to get friendly with someone else's child and the story not to be looking for a way to spin it as paedophilia.

  3. #1303
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    Old man knocks one out.

    Thought it was a doll.

    It was actually a 5 year old baby.

    She didn't see him coming.

    It's impossible to spin that shit.

  4. #1304
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Not quite as good as "Tributes left for a dead chicken" imo.

  5. #1305
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ma-Walker.html

    This doesn't remind of anyone in particular at all

  6. #1306
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    Mert?

  7. #1307
    I used to be funny.
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    Mert would never pull that facebook shit, in fairness.

  8. #1308
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    He was punching tbf

  9. #1309
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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  10. #1310
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-38144598





    I like them even more now.

    The tears of vegans are amazing and, as an added bonus, guilt free.

  11. #1311
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    I really don't know where else to put this so here will do:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/foo...is-Powell.html

    Fucking hell

    What an utter cunt.

  12. #1312
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/articl...youre-a-victim

    Well at least that didn't happen to me.

  13. #1313
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Who would they expose you to?

  14. #1314
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    True.

    I guess I'm lucky that I'm a lonely hermit

  15. #1315
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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    Killer pyjama shorts though.

  16. #1316
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    And a lifetime supply of mugs.

  17. #1317
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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    I think you're getting Mahow and the cam girl confused again.

  18. #1318
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Dick.

  19. #1319
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Jesus. I'm kinda rooting for the owner now.

  20. #1320
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...shire-38184599

    How do you get through the day when you're this much of an idiot.

  21. #1321
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's illegal to refuse legal tender, so this will end well for them.

  22. #1322
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I hope the cunts get fried for not taking it.

  23. #1323
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    How do you logic that out across the rest of your life though? If you're that bothered about a bit of tallow then you can't drive a car or use any kind of transport really, let alone about million other things that should be verboten.

  24. #1324
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    One of the most incredible stories I've ever read:

    http://www.state.gov/m/ds/rls/263916.htm

  25. #1325
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I read that the other day, it's incredible, you see the headline and think 'don't be fucking ridiculous'.

  26. #1326
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I hope the Assistant Regional Security Officer has a liason as well as an investigator.

  27. #1327
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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    Assistant to the regional security officer.

  28. #1328
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adamski View Post
    Assistant to the regional security officer.

  29. #1329
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    It's illegal to refuse legal tender, so this will end well for them.
    I think this is a bit of a myth. A shop keeper can pretty much refuse service for any reason they like (except for gays in Northern Ireland, apparently) - legal tender simply means banks and courts have to accept payment via said means. I could be wrong - but this was always my understanding.

  30. #1330
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    It's like people saying that you should pay speeding fines here in 5c coins, when coins are only legal tender up to 50 of them.

  31. #1331
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's nothing like that. The clue is in your post; 'only legal tender up to Łx'. Which is the case for obvious reasons.

    If something is Ł3, and they give you a Ł5 note then you have to accept it. 300 1p's they do not.

  32. #1332
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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  33. #1333
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    It's like people saying that you should pay speeding fines here in 5c coins, when coins are only legal tender up to 50 of them.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    It's nothing like that. The clue is in your post; 'only legal tender up to Łx'. Which is the case for obvious reasons.

    If something is Ł3, and they give you a Ł5 note then you have to accept it. 300 1p's they do not.
    Isn't that exactly what Giggles said? Basically, it's legal tender up to number of coins, after that, they can reject it.

  34. #1334
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Lads please, let's just agree that vegans are dickheads and move on.

  35. #1335
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    Done.

  36. #1336
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    http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/a-ver...the-new-fivers

    The amount of cows needed to produce all 329,000,000 notes.... HALF OF ONE COW

  37. #1337
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I can get on board with that sentiment.

  38. #1338
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Arne View Post
    Isn't that exactly what Giggles said? Basically, it's legal tender up to number of coins, after that, they can reject it.
    The story he was referring to is about someone refusing to accept a new fiver though, which isn't like refusing to take payment in a thousand coins.

  39. #1339
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I was just giving another example of how the whole "have to accept legal tender!!!" line is normally a load of crap.

    Now just call vegans cunts and stop being such a bollix all the time.

  40. #1340
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    I forgot for a moment that precision was a bad thing in your world.

    There was a 'vegan shoe' shop in Berlin. I thought about going in to see what a vegan shoe would look like, but it also sold food and the stench coming out the front door of the place hit you like a strong wind so I didn't bother. I'm still curious though.

  41. #1341
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    There is a vegan restaurant here that sells duck.

  42. #1342
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    So not a vegan restaurant, then.

  43. #1343
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    It claims to be.

  44. #1344
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    Is it that fake duck stuff?

  45. #1345
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    I doubt that they would be that bothered to order that. Probably just duck.

  46. #1346
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smiffy View Post
    Is it that fake duck stuff?
    Fuck?

  47. #1347
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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  48. #1348
    I used to be funny.
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    That didn't need the weird headline. It was weird enough.

  49. #1349
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    Fucking hell. What a clusterfuck.

  50. #1350
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    Just read this about the Assange case

    Two days later, she arranged to meet him and they went to her flat. They started to have sex, she said, but she moved away because Assange had not wanted to wear a condom, and he fell asleep. She told police they later had sex at least once when he had “unwillingly” worn a condom, but the following morning, after she had gone to buy breakfast and then climbed back into bed and fallen asleep, she had woken to find him having sex with her without a condom.
    My missus wakes up if I even think about having sex with her. Unless she was drugged and drunk, there is absolutely no way you could penetrate a women without waking her up. Firstly, it would be like sticking you cock in-between two sheets of sand paper, and secondly, she would wake the fuck up immediately. Actually, one more thing... unless she is lying on her back, legs apart, you've also got the challenge of moving her legs about to improve the access.

    So yeah, ever had sex with a sleeping woman...? Do you think it would be possible?

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