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Thread: News of the day

  1. #13201
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    A deep fat fryer in the bedroom, I'm not sure there's any way back from that.
    Like that video where someone pretends they’ve caught a mouse in their bathroom but it’s a computer mouse, but all the comments on it are asking why there’s red and brown sauce on the landing.
    I'm a twit

  2. #13202
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I think he did it.

  3. #13203
    I used to be funny.
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    Or he was really, really thinking about it.

  4. #13204
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Private window ffs.

  5. #13205
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Like that video where someone pretends they’ve caught a mouse in their bathroom but it’s a computer mouse, but all the comments on it are asking why there’s red and brown sauce on the landing.
    Now I need to see that video and subsequent comments.

  6. #13206
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post


    I think he did it.

  7. #13207
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Happened stateside. Genuine, apparently.

    She reminds me of the bunny from Zootropolis.

  8. #13208
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Someone sent me that story last week. Apparently one of them had a massive wang.

  9. #13209
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-64370570

    I quite like this story but I'm not buying the parents pleading ignorance as to how it's happened. Taught himself to read.

  10. #13210
    I used to be funny.
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    The picture of him reading Chinese almost looks like a separate, Chinese child.

  11. #13211
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    Welcome to a likely life of hell while he's a child Mrs Hobbs.

  12. #13212
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-64370570

    I quite like this story but I'm not buying the parents pleading ignorance as to how it's happened. Taught himself to read.
    It's horse shit. Reading - atleast in English - is not that intuitive. The same letters often sound completely different. He's obviously freakishly intelligent, but I'm not having that he was taught to read while his mum strummed one out to Tom Hardy's latest CBeebies appearance.

  13. #13213
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-64370570

    I quite like this story but I'm not buying the parents pleading ignorance as to how it's happened. Taught himself to read.
    Bullshit on this. He's obviously clever but there is no way he's taken it upon himself to start learning another language. What's he been on the app store and downloaded Rosetta Stone or something?

  14. #13214
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Family legend has it that I taught myself to read aged four by obsessing over the brochure for the Ffestiniog Light Railway, which we'd been to on holiday before Tony Blair came in and foreign holidays started. The longer the years go on, the less I'm buying into this fable.

  15. #13215
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    That kid is going to be a serial killer.

  16. #13216
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wullie View Post
    That kid is going to be a serial killer.

  17. #13217
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Family legend has it that I taught myself to read aged four by obsessing over the brochure for the Ffestiniog Light Railway, which we'd been to on holiday before Tony Blair came in and foreign holidays started. The longer the years go on, the less I'm buying into this fable.
    You'd have memorised it.

    My daughter was reciting books aged 2, and is a very capable reader aged 5, but she's not in the news because that's just what happens when you read to your child everyday.
    I'm a twit

  18. #13218
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You also need the kind of mother who rings up the news and says 'Hello, is that the news? Yes, well I think my child is rather wonderful, and I'd like you to feature them in the news.'

  19. #13219
    I used to be funny.
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    "Hello, Mensa? I HAVE A SPECIAL CHILD YOU MUST MEET."

  20. #13220
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/u...g-out-29024080

    Not sure it's imaginable how gutting that would be.

    Camelot, who have been the operators of the lottery since 1994, heard about Rachel's story and sent the couple a "good luck" message for future draws. A spokesman for the company said: "We're aware of Rachel's story and hope she gets in early to buy a ticket for the next big draw."

  21. #13221
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    You also need the kind of mother who rings up the news and says 'Hello, is that the news? Yes, well I think my child is rather wonderful, and I'd like you to feature them in the news.'
    Social media probably means this sort of thing happens a bit more naturally these days, if you consider being the sort of needy loser who shares their whole life on social media to be natural. Or indeed news outlets presumably trawling it for literally anything that'll get clicks.

  22. #13222
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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  23. #13223
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    It might only seem like one word but it's one word that has affected this family and the community as a whole
    Superb.

  24. #13224
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Everyone is very ill.

  25. #13225
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Lewcock lol.

  26. #13226
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Just calm down lads, an investigation is being conducted into this and it's important we follow the due processes before we risk having Boydy and DS coming in here calling us all boomers.

  27. #13227
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Isn't the non-african large mammal in the room why they needed a police codeword to see their dying son in hospital?

  28. #13228
    I used to be funny.
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    That is ever so slightly suspicious.

  29. #13229
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-64399335

    How do these articles never take the time to actually look from the perspective of the radicalised people? Or to wonder why they feel the way they do? It strikes me as the most obvious way to tackle the problem, and yet instead it's just "bad social media. NAUGHTY social media!"

    It's like they don't even want to solve the problem.

  30. #13230
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    They don't want to solve the problem. They just want to do 9 to 5, go home and watch Netflix and eat potato waffles.

  31. #13231
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-64413242

    Scenes when she(? Legitimate question. He's just taking the piss, isn't he?) gets raped in a mens prison and there's riots over this cunt.

  32. #13232
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    This is 2023, we need gender-neutral jails.

  33. #13233
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Clearly became a woman just to wear the wig and cover up the face tattoos.

  34. #13234
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    All this red tape time wasting when they could have just given him a bullet when convicted.

  35. #13235
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    If they're a woman then them and their female cock and balls should be in a female prison. Unless they're not really a woman. It's a very inconsistent position to take, and one which suggests that people just go along with the vibes until it runs into something that touches on their usual chosen groups.

  36. #13236
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    If your kid has an invisible friend you make it cute little cups of invisible tea, but if the invisible friend starts telling them to kick the dog and pour bleach in the fish tank, then you tell the little cunt what's what. That's basically the rule here. Not that anyone in power would say so.

  37. #13237
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Top news story on the BBC.

  38. #13238
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-64421704

    You can tell Al Sharpton and friends are wounded there wasn't a white copper involved here.

  39. #13239
    I used to be funny.
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    Imagine being killed by Tadarrius Bean this side of the middle ages.

  40. #13240
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I bet Oreo and Choc Ice are trending big time on BLM Twitter.

  41. #13241
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Justin Smith really isn't pulling his weight on the name front.

  42. #13242
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-64400776

    This sort of thing always fascinates me. In the same part of the world Jimmy can barely go to the shops at a slightly irregular hour without having the SWAT team bashing his front door in, and yet somehow someone can lie dead in a flat for years and years. Would the post not have piled up? Who pays the bills/rent? Or does none of that happen in a paperless/direct debit society? Neighbours? It's just weird.

  43. #13243
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Another Social Services failure you say? Shocking if true.

  44. #13244
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Surely even if you're estranged (or the person has distanced themselves from you for whatever reason made sense in their mind) you'd still find some way or another to check up on them?

    "We also didn't notice you were dead for three years but are now distraught" seems a bit of a weird one.

  45. #13245
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Laura Winham, 38, was "abandoned and left to die" by the NHS and social services before her body was found by her brother in May 2021, they claim.
    Talk about shifting the blame.

  46. #13246
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    She was estranged from social services.

  47. #13247
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    As with all this stuff, everyone just hopes the other people involved are doing their jobs better than they are.

  48. #13248
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Cause of death: 'avin a piss, lol.

  49. #13249
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    When it comes down to it the end is never really very dignified for anyone but being crushed by a pop up toilet is particularly bad, that's a eulogy you have to word very carefully.

  50. #13250
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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