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Thread: News of the day

  1. #12751
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    There's nothing even mentioned about the ball in the article, unless I'm blind. How can the ball be wrong for women? Should be smaller/lighter or what?

  2. #12752
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Should be shaped like an ovary.

  3. #12753
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    There's nothing even mentioned about the ball in the article, unless I'm blind. How can the ball be wrong for women? Should be smaller/lighter or what?
    Final three sentences, Mr Magoo:

    And they call for more research into female players' concussion risk from heading the ball.

    "There's a higher level of microtrauma in the white matter in women's brains," Dr Kryger says.

    "That's not seen in men's football - so there could be a medical reason to change the ball."

  4. #12754
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Whoops.

  5. #12755
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I had quite an interesting economics teacher, in sixth form. He was Welsh and had many catchphrases. One of them was: "I've never seen a woman score a goal. Think about that."

    Another was: "A woman's place is in the home." He believed this from a left-wing perspective, in that inequality is fomented by couples who both have jobs possessing disproportionate economic power over single-income households.

    Another was to pronounce Thailand as 'Thigh-land'. He spent all his holidays in the south east Asian nation mentioned, only ever returning the day before the following school term began.

    Another was: "A can of cucumber's not a can of corn." He refused to explain that one, and I've never worked it out to this day.

  6. #12756
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    A teacher that spent every non-working minute in Thailand you say? I assume his harddrive has been checked?

  7. #12757
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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  8. #12758
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Very beautiful man.

  9. #12759
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    That's great, it's similar to my mates earl grey hoax which lasted for about 5 years until some jobsworth found the ancient book he'd cited and realised it was absolutely bollocks.

  10. #12760
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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  11. #12761
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Tiananmen Square 2 in the build up by the looks of things.

  12. #12762
    I used to be funny.
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    Something had to give. Covid isn't going away.

  13. #12763
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Guardian
    The report was commissioned after the death of Jaden Francois-Esprit, a trainee at Wembley fire station who took his own life aged 21 in August 2020. Francois-Esprit was teased about the Caribbean food he brought in for lunch and made 16 requests to be transferred to another station, an inquest heard last year.

  14. #12764
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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  15. #12765
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Nazir is one of life's great grifters, a bit like Michael Mansfield.

  16. #12766
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Someone took the piss out of the sandwich I brought into work once. I knew I should have taken it further.

  17. #12767
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    To be fair, the original story about him says he was also nicknamed 'lazy boy' and wasn't given a locker for months. Is it unreasonable to ask how somebody who does themselves in over that was expecting to cope with what they might see as a fireman?

  18. #12768
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    By that metric I should have gone for millions in compensation when one of my colleagues photoshopped a picture of me serving up a shit sandwich and stuck it on my desk.

  19. #12769
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Am I going to get served?

  20. #12770
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-63782514

    Heads are now so far gone they may never come back.

  21. #12771
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Saying that the name monkey pox is racist is itself racist.

  22. #12772
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Are actual monkeys allowed to be referred to as monkeys or do we need a whole new form of shorthand classification? Squirrel simians, howler simians, cheeky simians etc?

  23. #12773
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Also, the WHO should have had Hanson make this announcement through the medium of late 90s wuss rock.

  24. #12774
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's just the same shit that happened with Covid (minus the gay shaming) and HIV. People just had to be a bit clever to come up with their slurs, like "Kung Flu".

    MonkeyPox must make it easier for the biggots, granted, but I'm not sure changing the name is focusing on the right strand of the problem.

    Actually, changing it to Mpox is possibly worse, because now the M can mean both "monkey" and "mincing".

    Biggotry 2-0 THE SCIENCE.

  25. #12775

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    Mincepox

  26. #12776
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    Mincepox
    I love that Robbie Williams song

  27. #12777
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    How is 'monkeypox' racist when it's now mostly associated with homosexuals?

  28. #12778
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Whilst I found this quite amusing, without wanting to trivialise the obvious trauma of it all, it got me to thinking, when will we reach the point [if we haven't already] where casual racism will no longer be simply an eye-roll inducing thing when it comes to 'old people'?

    I reckon an unreformed 83 year old posho is probably still firmly in the 'that's what it was like back then' sort of way, but we must be close to the tipping point.

  29. #12779
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Lol at a PR disaster being brought on by effectively a volunteer nana.

  30. #12780
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The traumatised victim did well to remember the conversation in such damning detail.

  31. #12781
    I used to be funny.
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-63816454

    San Francisco's ruling Board of Supervisors has voted to let the city's police use robots that can kill.
    Dr Catherine Connolly, from the group Stop Killer Robots, said the move was a "slippery slope" that could distance humans from killing.
    Realistically, there's only a couple of instances I can think of a bomb bot being deployed. One of which is outlined in the article.

  32. #12782
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    They'll be drone striking protests before long, I'm sure.

  33. #12783

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    How long before a trigger-happy American sets off a bomb for spurious reasons?

  34. #12784
    Senior Member Alex's Avatar
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    When the BBC goes with a live news feed entitled "Cheap ways to shop and tips to feed yourself well as costs rise" you know already it will be packed full of sound bites from absolutely moronic members of the general public who don't know their arse from their elbow.

    "Just the two of us. We’ve started meal planning each week, doing a weekly shop and only buying what we need so we don’t waste ingredients and food. This has saved us £50 per month. We also cook mostly in our multi-function air fryer instead of using the oven and gas hob, and have started hand washing dishes instead of using the dishwasher - saving us £5 per week according to our smart meter."
    That's Lee, from Bury, weighing in with the truly revelatory information that if you actually think about what you need to buy and only buy that you will, in fact, save money!

    She says that for Christmas lunch, the family will be swapping roast turkey for chicken and honey-roasted parsnips for frozen peas to keep costs down.
    And poor Lisa from Hertfordshire, preparing for a positively Dickensian Christmas without the honey-roasted parsnips.

    Fucking drips.

  35. #12785
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Parsnips aren't even expensive. And you can get a cheap jar of honey in tesco.

    But yeah, these things are always full of nonsense.

  36. #12786

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    My mind explodes every time I have the misfortune to be in a supermarket at busy times. Now I realise it's these fucking numbskulls that are the ones utilising the previously-assumed useless contact form at the bottom of BBC news pages.

  37. #12787
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I had to sit through a conversation between colleagues earlier this week that involved them sharing similar tips.

    Apparently, if you bulk out a chilli with a load of beans and veg you get twice the amount and you can freeze the left overs. Honestly lads, I shit you not, if you cook extra food and don't eat it all, you have extra food left over. Mind blowing stuff.

    My favourite though - by some margin - was that a "fakeaway" is cheaper than a takeaway and nearly as good. Honestly had no idea I could cook a burger or a curry at home until then.

    Basically:


  38. #12788
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Old people blocking supermarket shelves is my pet peeve/fascination at this time of year. The conversations you hear while waiting for them to fuck off away from the product you want.

    "Have we got any of these, Margaret?"
    "What do you want those for, Jim?"
    "Well, I don't know. Might it not be nice?"
    "I don't think we'll eat them, will we?"
    "Aren't the grandkids coming round?"
    "Not until next Thursd'y."
    "Well, it's only six ion the packet, we could have them with our tea."
    "Why are you always wanting silly things like this?"
    "It was only a thought."

    Death stalks these people like a jaugar, ready to descend from a suburban sycamore and bite through their brains, not a fucking moment too soon.

  39. #12789
    Senior Member Alex's Avatar
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    Yeah, I forgot about that Flanagan bit but it does sum it up very well. We've basically normalised a lot of peoples opinions that they are "struggling financially" when they are, in fact, just fucking morons. I'm not disputing that a great many are struggling to make ends meet, I don't want to misconstrue myself there. But there's so much genuine, frightening stupidity feeding into a lot of this too.

  40. #12790
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Tbh I assumed the venn diagram of people giving out these stupid "tips" and Micky Flanagan viewers was a circle.

  41. #12791
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Tbh I assumed the venn diagram of people giving out these stupid "tips" and Micky Flanagan viewers was a circle.
    That "Oxbridge Cunt" line hit home.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 02-12-2022 at 02:50 PM.

  42. #12792
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    The idea of Greggg Wallace hammering down the custard gets me every time.

  43. #12793
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Old people blocking supermarket shelves is my pet peeve/fascination at this time of year. The conversations you hear while waiting for them to fuck off away from the product you want.

    "Have we got any of these, Margaret?"
    "What do you want those for, Jim?"
    "Well, I don't know. Might it not be nice?"
    "I don't think we'll eat them, will we?"
    "Aren't the grandkids coming round?"
    "Not until next Thursd'y."
    "Well, it's only six ion the packet, we could have them with our tea."
    "Why are you always wanting silly things like this?"
    "It was only a thought."

    Death stalks these people like a jaugar, ready to descend from a suburban sycamore and bite through their brains, not a fucking moment too soon.
    This is probably my mum and gran who's life consists predominately of going to Tesco/Lidl/Sainsbury's and buying random food most of the week. My nan has a freezer of meet frozen for my visits which means I get to have beef she bought around 8 months previously.

  44. #12794
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    There used to be a programme on the BBC called 'Trade Secrets' that had actual professionals giving helpful little tips, but New Labour leaned on the BBC to cancel it to stop people running their own lives. I saw a headline earlier about people having to eat pet food because of the Cost of Living. What? I've never bought a tin of dog food (assuming the pet food in question was dog food), but surely it can't be cheaper than the equivalent amount of human food, so how has that happened?

  45. #12795
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    but surely it can't be cheaper than the equivalent amount of human food, so how has that happened?
    I assumed you'd be wrong about this but having had a look there's not much in it to be honest.

    Something like this:
    https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-G...ucts/306661169

    Is barely more expensive than cheap dog food:
    https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-G...ucts/308087333

    Although the dog food might be more palatable.

  46. #12796
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    My dogs biscuits cost about £15 a bag. They last him a month, but the he's only small. It would probably last a human about a week, but I reckon I could do a week on Bourbons and Custard Creams for less.

  47. #12797
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Pound-for-pound, what is the cheapest thing you could live off (including cooking costs if it's rice or whatever)? You might end up with the most boring diet imaginable, but it seems to be me that there are a lot of options to consider before having to eat pet food.

  48. #12798
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Worked for Mel Gibson.

  49. #12799
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Pound-for-pound, what is the cheapest thing you could live off (including cooking costs if it's rice or whatever)? You might end up with the most boring diet imaginable, but it seems to be me that there are a lot of options to consider before having to eat pet food.
    Noodles probably. About 30p for 300 calories per pack.

    Not exactly nutritious, but you could get 2100 calories for about £2 a day. They cook in about 5 minutes too.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 02-12-2022 at 04:56 PM.

  50. #12800
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    In pure calorie terms (excluding blocks of lard or whatever) it might be cheapo biscuits, but would two packs of custard creams a day fill you up?

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