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Thread: News of the day

  1. #1101
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Germans told to stockpile food and water for civil defence - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-37155060

  2. #1102
    Senior Member GS's Avatar
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    Wir schaffen das.

  3. #1103
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    "Interior Minister Thomas de Maiziere told a group of schoolchildren that Germany must be prepared to react if water or food reserves were poisoned, or if oil and gas supplies were interrupted."

    *cleans non-existent glasses that I'm using for this bit*

    "told a group of schoolchildren"

    But why?*


    * - tell schoolchildren, in case that's not clear.

  4. #1104
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Because Germans, without exception, are fucking mental.

  5. #1105
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Yet they own us all.

  6. #1106
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    They don't own Harambe.

  7. #1107
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    They don't own Harambe.
    He is?

  8. #1108
    leedsrevolution
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    A dead monkey and I want no further mention of him on this forum.

  9. #1109
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    On the subject of zoo-based grief I'm now trying to work out if I missed the fact that the annoying little fuc-knut of a polar bear in Berlin died 5 years ago, or if I just erased the news from my mind.

  10. #1110
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    How could you be annoyed by a Polar Bear?! They're quite possibly the cutest thing on the planet.

  11. #1111
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leedsrevolution View Post
    A dead monkey and I want no further mention of him on this forum.
    A dead gorilla, mate.

  12. #1112
    leedsrevolution
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    Dont be racist.

  13. #1113
    Senior Member GS's Avatar
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    It's a good job we have the European Union, which stops the Germans exercising economic hegemony over the cont...

    Wait.

  14. #1114
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    CHRIST YOU ARE SO DULL

    caps

  15. #1115
    Senior Member GS's Avatar
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    You'll get over it eventually.

  16. #1116
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Christ. And it's in an absolute kip of an area too.

    http://www.joe.ie/news/pics-two-imag...-dublin/558119

  17. #1117
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Facebook fires trending team, and algorithm without humans goes crazy

    'Module pushes out false story about Fox’s Megyn Kelly, offensive Ann Coulter headline and a story link about a man masturbating with a McDonald’s sandwich'


  18. #1118
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    That last one must be a real thing on one of those fake news websites though.

  19. #1119
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Hang on, are they fake news sites or fake news sites?

  20. #1120
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/swimming/37228544

    Nice job not surprising anyone at all Korea.

  21. #1121
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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  22. #1122
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    This is pretty long but makes me sad that we very rarely get coverage of a story like this anymore.

    http://www.latimes.com/projects/la-me-framed/

  23. #1123
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikem View Post
    This is pretty long but makes me sad that we very rarely get coverage of a story like this anymore.

    http://www.latimes.com/projects/la-me-framed/
    The level of criminality involved is vastly different, but this is another great long form article in a similar vein.

  24. #1124
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    Thanks, I love this kind of writing and don't understand why there is seemingly no market for it.

  25. #1125
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Man charged with Eddie Izzard beret theft

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-37270275



    The comedian gave chase in high heels and retrieved his headwear with the help of police.
    The beret has since been taken away by police as evidence.

  26. #1126
    Senior Member GS's Avatar
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    Eddie Izzard associating himself with your campaign is usually the death knell for it.

    I like to think his appearance on Question Time won the day for Leave.

  27. #1127
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Say what you like about Izzard you're unlikely to beat him in a foot race.

  28. #1128
    I used to be funny.
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    Nah, he's all long distance. Sprint 100 meters, catch a bus and you're sorted.

  29. #1129
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Cunt should be publicly flogged. Hopefully at the least he gets a massive bill.

    http://m.independent.ie/irish-news/h...-35039964.html

  30. #1130
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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  31. #1131
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    The SAS.

  32. #1132
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    He'll only be raging if liveleak don't get hold of the video.

  33. #1133
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikem View Post
    This is pretty long but makes me sad that we very rarely get coverage of a story like this anymore.

    http://www.latimes.com/projects/la-me-framed/
    I just read this by the way, and it is brilliant. I recommend it to anyone who hasn't read it yet.

    I could read stuff like that all day.

  34. #1134
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/f...ck-ian-shower/

    That headline though. And the picture.

  35. #1135
    I used to be funny.
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    The 22-year-old games assistant operator told the Tele that he can’t afford to replace the items and hopes that a public appeal can bring them home.
    Couldn't spring Ł8 a month for contents insurance?

  36. #1136
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    He's not a fucking pizza delivery guy, mate.

  37. #1137
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/f...ck-ian-shower/

    That headline though. And the picture.
    Ian McWelby?

  38. #1138
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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  39. #1139
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Fuck me, that one has been gone for a decade at least.

  40. #1140
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Imagine if that is your dying wish and those four show up. Talk about disappointment.

  41. #1141
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Fucking hell, the first picture

  42. #1142
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Imagine if that is your dying wish and those four show up. Talk about disappointment.


    My thoughts exactly. Presumably all the proper players were busy with strategic corporate partnerships.

  43. #1143
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk...-a7311751.html

    That's basically Giggles' worldview as a new story.

  44. #1144
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    What a little cunt.

  45. #1145
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Hopefully he gets mugged again.

  46. #1146
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Ł10 seems fair.

  47. #1147
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I don't get it.

  48. #1148
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Who'd have thought a total, flat-out, 9000RPM benefit fraud spastic wouldn't really understand the value of work?

  49. #1149
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    The 'PR' person (lol) sounds like the one who needs launching into space.

  50. #1150
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    They'd need a big fucking rocket.

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