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Thread: News of the day

  1. #11051
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I generally hesitate to deploy this anecdote, but anyway. My old man was a cop, and for a couple of years decades back (in the 90s) he was assigned to the royalty division, or whatever it is, where they organise the police protection for the Queen and all the rest of them. As a result of this he sometimes found himself having to have dealings with various royals - less so the big dogs like Queenie and Charlie, who are pretty adept operators, and more so the peripheral royals, who are mostly clueless gimps and make absurd short term demands (i.e. 'I'm going shopping, please send 4 cops now and close the shop', or whatever).

    Among those who worked in the unit it was universally agreed that most of the royals were basically OK, with one exception: Andrew, who was the biggest cunt any of them had ever come across (and bear in mind these people are all policemen, so their job is basically to deal with cunts on a daily basis). He was arrogant, liked to ring them up to randomly boast about whatever he'd been up to, called them out to pointless jobs to make them work late for the sake of it, and so on - just a massive, arrogant prick with zero self-awareness. At one point Andrew called the office to have a massive sweary whinge about something trivial, and the officer who picked the phone up eventually grew tired of it and slammed the phone down on him, thus earning hero status for the rest of his police career.

    Anyway, after a couple of years, my old man was transferred out of the royalty division into another one. Word reached Andrew that he was going, so Andrew called the office (which, from memory, was in a shoddy brick outhouse somewhere in Victoria, an annoying distance away from the palace - got to keep the plebs at arm's length). Andrew summoned him to wherever the fuck Andrew hangs out, for 'leaving formalities'. So my old man goes in, bows and whatever else you have to do to Prince Andrew, and goes through all the small talk - it's been a pleasure to serve, sad to be going, yadda yadda. As he's about to leave, Andrew says wait, I have a gift for you, and duly presents him with a framed, black and white signed photograph of himself. He delivers it with the killer line: "There you are. You can put it on your grand piano - if you have one."

    It just so happened that, thanks to my mum's side of the family having an heirloom grand piano, my dad did have one, and there the signed photo of Prince Andrew has resided ever since. I'll miss it, when it's gone.

  2. #11052
    I used to be funny.
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    Well, at least he didn't rape you. I err ... said that to my dad when he told me he once washed Jimmy Saville's car.

  3. #11053
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    my stepdad met him when he visited the hospital to talk to the paramedics. He reported similar. We had no photo or grand piano though.

    He did bring a bottle of Parliament Whisky home after David Amess visited though.

  4. #11054
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I work with people who came across various royals during their forces/whatever else careers and that is how they tell it. Charles is apparently a lot sounder than he was always made out to be, Princess Anne is good value, and Andrew is a cunt who used to fly helicopters home without telling anyone.

  5. #11055
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Bloody hell!

    Ill pack my things they need an expert in the field.

  6. #11056
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    I see the police arrested the wrong person for the Irish school teacher that was murdered in a park yesterday afternoon. They apparently had two witnesses for the attack so fuck knows how they’ve cocked that one up. The poor Romanians have been getting a right bashing on Twitter after a reported leaked his nationality and said he was out on bail.

  7. #11057
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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  8. #11058
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Someone tell Cadburys to rebrand their Fingers because it's upsetting Mahow.

    NB: I can't think of any head based confectionery, so I am unjustifiably confident of this joke not backfiring.
    Do you have a big head or a small head, cus if it's the former you could say you look like a powerpod.

  9. #11059
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    You can't be that ignorant of TTH lore.

  10. #11060
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Just days after my poncy piano anecdote, here come the juicier 'ex royal cops' with the real dirt...

    Toggle Spoiler

  11. #11061
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/disability-60022278

    Ms Davies later discovered her pass had been rejected because she had used an old card.

    "I am human, people make mistakes," she says.

    "But it doesn't mean that in a time when someone is close to tears and begging to get home, they should be sent away."



  12. #11062
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/disability-60022278

    Ms Davies later discovered her pass had been rejected because she had used an old card.

    "I am human, people make mistakes," she says.

    "But it doesn't mean that in a time when someone is close to tears and begging to get home, they should be sent away."


    That ‘womens safety’ shit has gone off the charts here lately because some girl was murdered on a canal. Awful thing to happen and all but I’m not sure why we’re all murderers in waiting because of it or why only womens lives matter. There was a lad shot and killed in his own front garden around the same time last week and nobody gives a flying fuck yet she’s basically getting a state funeral.

  13. #11063
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I saw someone make the point that men are victims of violence far more often on Twitter a couple of days ago, only to be bombarded with "YES BUT THEY ARE ASSAULTED BY OTHER MALES!".

    Which is true but still mental. We need to step back from the brink before every cunt has their own security guard. Woman security guard.

  14. #11064
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    I wouldn't worry.

  15. #11065
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    We'd some cunt on national radio, some professor lad that does be on regularly I gather, that was telling us that we're at the stage where men should need some form of licencing to be allowed to socialise. I'm just glad I was on a job and have an alibi but I don't know how I'll be able to control myself from not killing the next woman I see. Twitter, naturally, has been an absolute cesspit too for the past week - "ALL MEN MUST......etc etc".

  16. #11066
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    So many things wrong with all this. For a start, are these the same people who're trying to tell us men and women don't exist in the traditional sense any more, or a different group of shouty people? Secondly, I and the vast majority of Men have about as much in common with the minority scumbag contingent as I do with a pregnant Woman, so what exactly are we supposed to do? The way it's reported you'd think every man is turning a blind eye to everything from wolf whistling to murder, on a daily basis, when in reality I haven't seen any examples of even the lower end of that scale for years.

  17. #11067
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's reminiscent of the Sarah Everard pearl-clutch we had last year. There's a refusal in certain quarters to accept that some people are just violent criminal bastards. They're not allowed to be that; their actions always have to be part of some wider, pan-societal problem, UNLESS they are, for example, Michael Adebowale, in which case they are mentally ill / acting alone.

  18. #11068
    Senior Member Alex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/disability-60022278

    Ms Davies later discovered her pass had been rejected because she had used an old card.

    "I am human, people make mistakes," she says.

    "But it doesn't mean that in a time when someone is close to tears and begging to get home, they should be sent away."


    "That overrode my safety," she says.
    /

    Not having a valid bus pass "overrode your safety". Just like if I presented an expired debit card at the till in Tesco that would "override" my need to buy shopping. Fucking hell.

    So she effectively wants to the set the precedent of "free bus travel for women at night"? Fantastic.

    Well, not even night. More like "whenever it's dark". Which sounds like I'm splitting hairs but it mentions at the end of the article that the driver did drop her in the town centre at 5pm. So we're talking about a person who was arguing with a bus driver about being scared to walk home at circa half past four in the afternoon here. This isn't the last bus home leaving her in the arse end of nowhere at midnight, which the majority of the wording would have you think.

  19. #11069
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    "I let my gym membership expire, so they wouldn't let me in. Now I could have a heart attack at any time."

  20. #11070
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    At least make it believable.

  21. #11071
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  22. #11072
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    It's reminiscent of the Sarah Everard pearl-clutch we had last year. There's a refusal in certain quarters to accept that some people are just violent criminal bastards. They're not allowed to be that; their actions always have to be part of some wider, pan-societal problem, UNLESS they are, for example, Michael Adebowale, in which case they are mentally ill / acting alone.
    They've been chomping at the bit for something similar since the Everard one, and the girl is being flogged to bits now the same as Everard was over there.

  23. #11073
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Not a chance I'd be going into anybody's house, my friend or otherwise, if they were just letting a chimp mooch about. They're fucking mental and anybody owning one at all shouldn't be, especially not the way she apparently did where he was basically treated like a person.

    Really, really wish I hadn't scrolled down far enough to see the result of the attack. Poor fucker.

  24. #11074
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    Watched a documentary on that years ago and the moment where you realise she'd lived was just, wow.

  25. #11075
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    That's some face.

  26. #11076
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    So many things wrong with all this. For a start, are these the same people who're trying to tell us men and women don't exist in the traditional sense any more, or a different group of shouty people?
    Same crowd. They follow their BS theories of victimhood, where 'victims' (or 'survivors') are basically saints. According to them you should always believe victims, never question them in any way shape or form, and do everything in your power to make sure that they feel safe. Recall that, by default, women are victims (to men) and minorities are victims (to white people).

  27. #11077
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Not a chance I'd be going into anybody's house, my friend or otherwise, if they were just letting a chimp mooch about. They're fucking mental and anybody owning one at all shouldn't be, especially not the way she apparently did where he was basically treated like a person.
    What if he mowed your lawn? It would be rude not to show your face.

  28. #11078
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    He can do as he pleases, I'll be watching from an upstairs window until he fucks off.

  29. #11079
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    He can do as he pleases, I'll be watching from an upstairs window until he fucks off.
    Disgusting lack of manners, what a prick.

  30. #11080
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Better a disgusting lack of manners than a disgusting lack of face.

  31. #11081
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    And now you can see why minorities are victims at the hands of White people, Pepe.

  32. #11082
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    #allfacesmatter

  33. #11083
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    A 200lb ape which was being given Xanax daily, yeah that sounds like a great idea. I'm with racist Webly, it can go on the Never Even Once list along with helicopters.

  34. #11084
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    They've been chomping at the bit for something similar since the Everard one, and the girl is being flogged to bits now the same as Everard was over there.
    It will drop out of the news like a sack of shit if it turns out to have been anyone other than a white Irishman.

  35. #11085
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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  36. #11086
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    WaistCoatCoin to the moon.

  37. #11087
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    It will drop out of the news like a sack of shit if it turns out to have been anyone other than a white Irishman.
    A Syrian refugee by all accounts. Like you say, I doubt it’ll every officially be reported and it’s gone all quiet on that front since they caught up to him.

  38. #11088
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Killing women and then legging it does seem to be more of a foreigner thing to do, so I figured one of your Eastern Europeans. Syrian refugee. Jesus. They will probably start running stories about her deserving it.

  39. #11089
    Senior Member Vercetti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    That's some face.
    I fully expected the Shameful Lustage thread to have been bumped after reading this page.

  40. #11090
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    Brings a whole new meaning to 'Chimp Out'.

  41. #11091
    Senior Member CJay's Avatar
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    https://www.theguardian.com/sport/20...ijing-official

    The closer the Winter Olympics gets the more insane it seems that China is hosting it. Athletes are being told not to bring their own phones with them and being threatened if they say anything untoward. How did we become ok with including them in things like this?

  42. #11092
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Money.

  43. #11093
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJay View Post
    https://www.theguardian.com/sport/20...ijing-official

    The closer the Winter Olympics gets the more insane it seems that China is hosting it. Athletes are being told not to bring their own phones with them and being threatened if they say anything untoward. How did we become ok with including them in things like this?
    Didn't during the Summer Olympics basically anyone competing was pretty much allowed to act normally and that was negotiated by the IOC? Maybe this time they just couldn't be arsed to do that.

  44. #11094
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Maybe things have changed in the 14 years since.

  45. #11095
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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  46. #11096
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    The group claimed taxing the UK's wealthiest 119,000 people at such rates would raise £43.71bn a year.

    They suggested such funds could be used to eliminate planned National Insurance tax rises to fund social care in England, pay for the salaries of 50,000 nurses and a permanent increase of Universal Credit.


    It said globally, $2.52tn could lift 2.3 billion people out of poverty and make enough vaccines for the world.
    Then donate the money.

  47. #11097
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    We could spend the money on guillotines

  48. #11098
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    These people. Write the government a cheque. You could even just give the difference to charity. Why do they need to be compelled to do it?

  49. #11099
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    It's a shit headline, because they're not really just asking to pay more taxes. They're advocating that everyone that makes as much money as they do pays more taxes.

    100 people donating =/= 119,000 people being taxed.

  50. #11100
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    The world - every country in it - must demand the rich pay their fair share.
    I mean, you will have a hard time finding someone who disagrees with the statement 'x group should pay their fair share.' The problem has always been in defining 'fair.' There is also the fact that you probably want to maximize revenue, not choose the 'fair' number.

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