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Thread: News of the day

  1. #11001
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Although it should never have been on it in the first place, same as here, it would be madness to waste money to do it at this stage.

  2. #11002
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's on there to make your own life easier because English is the most widespread language in the world. If you rock up at an airport/border and the security staff don't speak French (or Irish, which nobody does) then you're going to be fucking around while they find someone that does. However, 99% of people in those jobs already speak English, so they can just check your passport / licence and through you go.

    It's got nothing to do with Britain.

  3. #11003
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Have they dropped English as one of their official languages yet?

  4. #11004
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The Academie Française lost their fight about 150 years ago (with the Franco-Prussian War, really) but gawd bless them for soldiering on.

    At one point they were wanting to change 'Parking' to 'Aparcation' and so on in a refroggification drive.

  5. #11005
    Senior Member Bernanke's Avatar
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    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...date-ellie-tom



    He said he’s been likened to Jack Grealish and I couldn’t quite hold in my laughter.

  6. #11006
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Would you meet again?
    Our paths could definitely cross, but just as friends.
    Would you meet again?
    I’d definitely like to.
    Give it up, Tom. And stop pretending anybody thinks you look like Jack Grealish just because you've got some hair gel.
    Last edited by Ian; 08-01-2022 at 05:43 PM.

  7. #11007
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Fond memories if Sandberg saying I look like Danny Dyer with too many chromosomes.

  8. #11008
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Does he still look like Mike Ashley's regen?

  9. #11009
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    She made him go meat free and then ordered meat? He’s well shot of her.

  10. #11010
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    That's charity workers for you.

  11. #11011
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Given it up, Tom. And stop pretending anybody thinks you look like Jack Grealish just because you've got some hair gel.
    Yet she gave him an 8. My mate used to have something called “harsh scale” so we’d say like Serena Williams was harsh scale 7 and actually be realistic that if there is a ever an 8/9/god forbid a 10, they’d actually be pretty goddamn special. Giving a lad you never wanna see again an 8 is madness.

    She’s a harsh scale 4, I’d say.
    I'm a twit

  12. #11012
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Yet she gave him an 8. My mate used to have something called “harsh scale” so we’d say like Serena Williams was harsh scale 7 and actually be realistic that if there is a ever an 8/9/god forbid a 10, they’d actually be pretty goddamn special. Giving a lad you never wanna see again an 8 is madness.

    She’s a harsh scale 4, I’d say.
    It's like with movie and game ratings it sort of became accepted that 6/10 is pretty shit and 8/10 is just "good", which is a pretty terrible use of a scale.

  13. #11013
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    As for university assignments out of 100 in which it's basically impossible to score more than 80 or less than 50, and in which almost everything submitted seems to end up a couple of points either side of 65.

  14. #11014
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  15. #11015
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    She can fuck off. Cry about it if you're 35, not 25, you mentalist.

  16. #11016
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    25 in Scotland is 35.

  17. #11017
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-eng...shire-59907613

    There you are Taz. The victim card Jimmy promised you.

  18. #11018
    I used to be funny.
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    He looks like Damien Duff.

  19. #11019
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    https://www.theguardian.com/money/20...ep-warm-advice

    Oh shut the fuck up, you cunts, these scummy people need to be educated.

  20. #11020
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Ovo still haven't paid me my final money back from closing the account.

  21. #11021
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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  22. #11022
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'll save myself for Macmillans Super Smoking September.

  23. #11023
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post


    I'll save myself for Macmillans Super Smoking September.
    The ad it generated for me above the fold was to donate to help fix the famine in Yemen

  24. #11024
    I used to be funny.
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-59951710

    Ion Onut was looking at profiles on dating sites while driving his HGV

  25. #11025
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    More than likely out in five years for killing three people. Dangerous driving sentences are a joke.

  26. #11026
    I used to be funny.
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    Aye, it's bleak. Reminds me of the Selby bloke who wound up out in 3 years.

  27. #11027
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Surely if that's your parents and he gets out after such a paltry sentence you knock on his door and finish the job. That fella in Germany did it to that air traffic controller, only copped 2 years in total for it.

  28. #11028
    I used to be funny.
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    Later, after his release from prison, Kaloyev was appointed deputy minister of construction of North Ossetia-Alania. In 2016, upon retirement from the local Ossetian government, Kaloyev was awarded the highest regional medal by that government, the medal "To the Glory of Ossetia". The medal is awarded for the highest achievements, improving the living conditions of the inhabitants of the region, for educating the younger generation and maintaining law and order.[1]
    Who says revenge is futile?

  29. #11029
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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  30. #11030
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I encountered 40c on holiday once and I remain convinced that anything hotter than that would kill everyone and everything. 50c is insanity. You're half way to boiling point, and that's in the shade for fuck sake.

  31. #11031
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I was in Melbourne for Christmas a few years ago and it was 40 degrees. It was unbearable being outside for more than a few minutes.

  32. #11032
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Aren't you lot all dying every time it goes above 20 degrees?

  33. #11033
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Aren't you lot all dying every time it goes above 20 degrees?
    30's, yeah. But that's only really at night time because our houses are built to retain the heat and we don't have aircon to cool it down, so sleep is basically impossible. My daughters room has a thermometer in it and it hit 37c last year.

    We're getting Aircon at somepoint this spring though.

  34. #11034
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I remember reading how everyone in the London marathon was dying because it was 'hot,' when the temperature was not all that high, a few years ago. But anyway, 40+ is miserable no matter who you are.

  35. #11035
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Was that after the vax?

  36. #11036
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I once played golf in 44 degrees in central France. Made it to the 15th hole before staggering off the course to die.

  37. #11037
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I did golf at 40-odd in the Middle East, there were little huts with fridges of bottled water in them every other hole or so and after a couple you think it's not so bad and by the end you're gulping it down by the litre.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Aren't you lot all dying every time it goes above 20 degrees?
    Moaning about the weather in Britain is basically just habit at this point. Whatever the weather is there'll be a healthy proportion of people who then want it to be something else. Moan like fuck through the winter then on the first 20+ day "Fuck's sake it's too hot isn't it? It's too hot."

  38. #11038
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    The French seem to be obsessed with the weather too. Everything but a very narrow temperature range will be either too cold or too hot.

  39. #11039
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    That's when you turn to "I do wish Summer/Winter would hurry up and get here!".

  40. #11040
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Or, if you are feeling edgy, you can go for "climate change can't come soon enough."

  41. #11041
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Sunny weather for more than a day: "It's too hot."
    Cold weather: "Sick of this bad weather!"
    Humid: "Oooh, we need rain, don't we?"
    No snow at Christmas: "It'd be nice to get a white Christmas, eh?"
    Snow at Christmas: "I mean I wouldn't mind the snow if I didn't have to go anywhere!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    The French seem to be obsessed with the weather too. Everything but a very narrow temperature range will be either too cold or too hot.
    I wonder if this is true of all countries where you don't tend to get extremes of weather then. Like, if you live somewhere that gets fucking tornados or floods because of monsoons or something you've got fairly cut and dried ideas of what constitutes bad weather. When the worst you've got to worry about is the road being a bit slippy or wondering if you'll get a table with some shade when having dinner outside it really lets you dig into what you really hate about mild weather conditions.

  42. #11042
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Could be. Mexico City has the mildest of weathers though, and I don't recall people caring that much. But yeah, living here where -10 and below is common in the winter and then it is always 30+ in the summer, you just have to shrug it off and get on with life.

    EDIT: Snow can fuck right off though.
    Last edited by Pepe; 13-01-2022 at 03:11 PM.

  43. #11043
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    40 in the US didn’t feel as bad as high 20’s did here for me. Plus everywhere is set up properly for the heat there.

  44. #11044
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  45. #11045
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    You’d imagine he’s fucked when they’ve disowned him that much.

  46. #11046
    I used to be funny.
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  47. #11047
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    "committed to being an inclusive retailer"
    Probably everything that's wrong with this shit summed up in 6 words.

  48. #11048
    I used to be funny.
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    Meanwhile, midget continues to have two definitions according to the OED. Who will stop such tyranny?

  49. #11049
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I am sure that the lives of people with dwarfism will improve considerably. Thank you, Dr. Pritchard.

  50. #11050
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Someone tell Cadburys to rebrand their Fingers because it's upsetting Mahow.

    NB: I can't think of any head based confectionery, so I am unjustifiably confident of this joke not backfiring.

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