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Thread: News of the day

  1. #8851
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    They tend to be very worried about house prices to the exclusion of pretty much anything else in life (I'm not sure how you end up thinking this way).
    It is a common theme of the phonecalls we have with them.

    "WELL, I'D MOVE IF I COULD, BUT I'D HAVE TO TAKE A PRICE CUT NOW!"

    No Malcolm, you wouldn't.

  2. #8852
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    My mate used to work in a little village pub in the middle of nowhere, and they got noise complaints for a wedding party that was going on in their back garden at about 9pm on a Saturday. The garden is a good 200 yards from any houses as well. Deranged cunts. Same happened here, this young couple (late 20s) had their mummies and daddies buy them this 400k flat next door to a pub that's been there about 100 years, then started complaining about the noise. The tragic thing is that the owner of the pub felt the only option was to have a designated role on the rota each shift for someone to basically mill about outside, telling people to be quiet.

  3. #8853
    I used to be funny.
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    This is too good for the Covid thread.

    The military shooting instructor is on the run with a rocket launcher and a machine gun, and Belgian police cannot find him.
    "Unfortunately, he's a trained sniper with heavy armour, military-grade material and weapons. So, these are the kind of people that you would prefer not to have hunting you," he told me wryly.
    A sniper with a rocket launcher is a shit sniper, Professor.

  4. #8854
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  5. #8855
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Who knows, but I'm glad it led me to this glorious set of Phil Brown quotes. The true greats never lose it.

    They brought former boss Phil Brown back to the club but he was unable to keep the Shrimpers afloat.

    "We need to move things on quickly and relegation is never a nice feeling," Brown said after the final game of the season, a 3-1 loss to Barrow.

    "I took the six games to back myself and probably in hindsight it was maybe two games short, but that’s life.

    "I accepted the six games because I wanted to prove to the Chairman that I can motivate a group of players and win games of football and I was delighted to get my 100th win as Southend United manager.

    "That was a very proud moment for me.

    "With that in mind, I hope it doesn’t finish there.

    "I’ve signed a two-year deal which is geared towards promotion and then it becomes a third year automatically, which I shook hands on and I’m going to back myself to do.

    "Hopefully I can get to 200 wins in that short space of time, and if that’s the case then certainly promotion is on the cards, if not back-to-back promotions. Let’s take one step at a time."

  6. #8856
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  7. #8857
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    It would be a big help if the British media spoke out about this disgraceful treatment of children.


    . It’s been a long three years since the Murugappan family were taken from their home in central Queensland and placed in immigration detention. Here’s how we got here.
    https://www.sbs.com.au/news/how-two-...gration-policy

  8. #8858
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We have our own Human Rights abuses to ignore tyvm

  9. #8859
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Also human rights abuses are only bad when done by countries you don't want trade deals with.

  10. #8860
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Ah, and this is the policy Patel aspires to. Nothing like dehumanising people to the point where you're locking kids up in detention centres.

  11. #8861
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    I was hoping since Scummo is in your country someone might be kind enough to ask him about it.

  12. #8862
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    When the American president is here, other world leaders might as well be random tourists for all our media care.

  13. #8863
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    That is fair our media would be the same.

  14. #8864
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Have you considered becoming a Chinese or Russian state? We're happy to criticise them.

  15. #8865
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Or you could launch some of the Children at Israel?

  16. #8866
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    We have got some spare indigenous kids in Townsville that could be sold as human shields? These kids wear GPS ankle bracelets for their own good apparently.

  17. #8867
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Christ.




  18. #8868
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  19. #8869
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Take that, remoaners!

  20. #8870
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    That photo op is probably even worse than the crap present our man gave to Joe Biden.

  21. #8871
    I used to be funny.
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    It reminds me of that Top Gear challenge when they presented an Indian delegation with some Coronation Chicken.

  22. #8872
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's She's coming home.

  23. #8873
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    When they talk about Richard Madeley 'going Partridge', he basically is Partridge in the first place isn't he? I'd be amazed if there wasn't at least some unconscious use of him in the original creation of the character.

  24. #8874
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I thought Coogan had said before he had based Partridge partly on him?

    Either way

  25. #8875
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Take that, remoaners!
    Are we not allowed to move to Aus as part of the deal or something?

    Lol at Cummings breaking out the Whatsapp screenshots.

  26. #8876
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    There's no way the Aussie mob would have that. They'd have the lot of us on Christmas Island breaking rocks.

  27. #8877
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Nah, they like the fair skinned migrants. Well, some of them.

  28. #8878
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The weirdest trade deal in history, where Australian things are said to be both too far away to be of any benefit to British consumers but an existential threat to our producers. One for the University of Woolamaloo.

  29. #8879
    I used to be funny.
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    I had this pop up in my twitter feed.

    https://www.gofundme.com/f/hjacb-help-maya-move

    My name is Diane, and I'm creating this fundraiser on behalf of my partner Maya. Maya has been living with me and my other two partners for the past year and a half, and unfortunately, can't stay with us any longer.
    Really paints a picture. 3 is too many.

  30. #8880
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    The use of 'too disabled" reads like they're just lazy fuckers.

  31. #8881
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    How have they got $855 worth of donations ffs? People will give to any old shite. We're missing a trick.

  32. #8882
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan...yside-57496373

    Awful way to go, but that's not a bad mugshot for her age.

  33. #8883
    I used to be funny.
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    And they say revenge is best served cold.

  34. #8884
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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  35. #8885
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Inject it into my veins.
    I'm a twit

  36. #8886
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    What does the sugar do, attract wasps?

  37. #8887
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Sticks to your skin.

  38. #8888
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    She looks pretty shit for 59 imo.

  39. #8889
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Probably looks better than her husband though.

  40. #8890
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Lol
    Magistrate who had relationship with young court clerk wins her super benefit.
    https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/nat...16-p581hg.html


    Magistrate Rodney Higgins, who created controversy in 2019 by embarking on a relationship with a court clerk 45 years his junior, has successfully claimed her $180,000 superannuation death benefit even though it was bequeathed to her struggling mother.

    Mr Higgins, who earns $324,000 a year as a magistrate in Bendigo, made the successful claim on the death benefits of his late fiance Ashleigh Petrie after the fund, Rest Super, agreed with his argument that he was her de facto partner and therefore her “dependent
    Last edited by Queenslander; 17-06-2021 at 06:10 AM.

  41. #8891
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    He sounds like a class act.

  42. #8892
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Super Boomer.

  43. #8893
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-57507456

    If he's admitting that much I assume the entire population is in fact dead.

  44. #8894
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Clearly the problem doesn't extend to the presidential (dear leaderly?) kitchens.

  45. #8895
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan...yside-57496373

    Awful way to go, but that's not a bad mugshot for her age.
    Jesus Christ what an absolute monster. That's the sort of thing you expect from the Cartels.

  46. #8896
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    She's a Scouser.

  47. #8897
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queenslander View Post
    Reverse gold digging

  48. #8898
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Thunder...

  49. #8899
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-57549653

    NZ bringing the lols to what will otherwise be a crappy Olympics.

  50. #8900
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Ridiculous. This stuff Probably sets back Transgender acceptance by decades too.

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