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Thread: The House Thread

  1. #1751
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    My brother got his old house cheap because the couple who had it were getting divorced and somehow living separate lives within it. It's like a sort of living probate.
    I'm a twit

  2. #1752
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy View Post
    Depends what sort of loft conversion you want and the age/style of your house.

    A hip to gable with dormer extension is the most common around here as we have loads of the 1930s semis which are easily converted.

    Depends on the pitch of your roofer it's a newer house and also how the roof is built, if it's a traditionally cut roof it's loads easier than a truss roof.

    There are a lot of variables. I could probably give a bit more advise if you have a picture of your roof.


    Cheers. Can't get a picture of the inside of the loft as the hatch is at the top of the stairs and we had to borrow the father in laws tall ladder to get up there last week.

    It has been recently insulated and there is a lot of room. It's an old house, built in the early 1900's IIRC. Partially boarded although obviously not to flooring standard.

  3. #1753
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    Shouldn't be to expensive as you already have a gable roof so wouldn't need the hip to gable extension. Just the dormers fitting either side and all the conversion work.

  4. #1754
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Cheers Andy. Will get someone round for a quote although probably not looking at doing it for a year or so (depending on cost).

    I think the main cost is going to be building the stairs as there's no ready made place for them. Will need to nick a bit of one of the existing bedrooms.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 04-07-2021 at 01:50 PM.

  5. #1755
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Loft conversions sound phenomenal.

  6. #1756
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Loft rooms are boiling in summer and freezing in winter, except if people/rooms below have their heating on, in which case you get lovely underfloor heating.

  7. #1757
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    I went to view a house with a loft conversion once and was startled by a cardboard cut out of Harry Styles behind the resulting bedroom door. Tidy room but not ideal for a man of my dimensions, seller rejected our low ball in Autumn 2018 and has only just managed to sell it now. Unsure if Harry still resides in the loft.

  8. #1758
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    To resolve the stand-off between the two solicitors I asked a third one for their opinion, and they think my solicitor is wrong (or at least their policy is) and that it should all be good to go, so I asked them to sort it out for me. My now old solicitor is refusing to send stuff over until I pay them (fair enough), but is refusing to itemise my bill[s] beyond the suspiciously rounded five-hundred quid (plus VAT) for 'legal services'. Is it unreasonable of me to want some sort of breakdown, because their service has been shit and most of their correspondence have had incorrect information in, so it would stick in my arse to think I'm getting stung for fifty quid letters that went straight in the bin.
    I BULLIED the other solicitor into halving my bill, and the new one has sorted it out (and cost less because the old one charged less for searches than this one). I get the keys Tuesday.

  9. #1759
    I used to be funny.
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    The great British art of complaining.

  10. #1760
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Exchanging today! People say that moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do but the big upside of it is realising that everyone else is that little bit lazy and rubbish at their jobs too.

  11. #1761
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Accepted a new offer on my flat, fingers crossed this one doesn’t fall through.

  12. #1762
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Landslide?

  13. #1763
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I got my keys, and it had been left in a right shit state. Do I have any grounds to make the estate agent get it properly cleaned, or am I stuck with how I bought it?

  14. #1764
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Chance your arm and see what they say, but if they say no, the grief involved with making them do it would almost certainly be above and beyond just doing it yourself though.

    And that's assuming they do have to clean it. We did, but I've no idea if you actually have to.

  15. #1765
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I think once it’s all signed up then you’re stuck with it as is.

  16. #1766
    I used to be funny.
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    I think you're out of luck, Lewis.

  17. #1767
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    They've also left me a manky settee, but I could just throw that through the estate agent's window.

  18. #1768
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I’d set fire to that on the footpath to introduce yourself to the neighbours.

  19. #1769
    I used to be funny.
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    Send it Yev's way. He'll need props for the sitcom. Unless he's gone completely Roger Cook against SCIENCE. That might be a better watch.

  20. #1770
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    They've also left me a manky settee, but I could just throw that through the estate agent's window.
    This one I do know. If it's not down in the contract as being left then it shouldn't be there and they are obliged to remove it.

    However... how much of a pain in the arse that would be to achieve may still mean it's easier to just get rid yourself.

  21. #1771
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I can just pull it apart and phase it into the bin.

  22. #1772
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Have you a solid fuel fire? Could burn most of the frame and just dump the lining and fabric.

  23. #1773
    Senior Member Bam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Have you a solid fuel fire? Could burn most of the frame and just dump the lining and fabric.

    Probably not, we have something called central heating over here.

  24. #1774
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    We had the valuation on the new place yesterday and got an email today saying our mortgage has been approved!
    Moving in the summer holidays is the dream but it’s looking less and less likely we’ll have the time.

  25. #1775
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bam View Post
    Probably not, we have something called central heating over here.
    Innit blud. Interesting name for a barrel fire.

  26. #1776
    Senior Member Bam's Avatar
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    Made a right mess of that, didn't you gigs.

  27. #1777
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I didn’t at all. I just prefer not to have to space it out.

  28. #1778
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    You do call your airing cupboard a hot press though.
    I'm a twit

  29. #1779
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    It is a press that’s hot.

  30. #1780
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Wait, what?

  31. #1781
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    It is a press that’s hot.
    I'm a twit

  32. #1782
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The fridge they left me was full of dead flies. The little freezer compartment had food in it, six months with no electricity... The contract said they were leaving the fridge, but I can moan about that can't I? It's one thing not cleaning the place, but that must come under actual health hazard.

  33. #1783
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Post pics of the new house.

  34. #1784
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Or at least some specs. How many beds/baths are we talking here?

  35. #1785
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Instructed to sell today.

  36. #1786
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Lewis, I don't know what the terms are like there, but here when you buy a house there is a clause that requires the house to be move-in ready (i.e., clean, free of all the chattels you did not sign up to keep). I'd look at the agreement of purchase and sale (and document everything with photos as a first step) to see if something similar exists there, because you'd be well within your rights to require them to clean it, even if you've already completed the purchase.

  37. #1787
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Yeah, the fixtures/fittings contract sez that I would be getting a fridge, and that the seller has to leave the place tidy and remove all rubbish. The fridge is rubbish in the state it is in, so at worst they have to come and remove it, and at best they owe me a fridge. I have asked my solicitor what they think before I go pushing shit through any estate agent doors.

  38. #1788
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I am all moved in, and I have to admit it feels good just sitting here.

  39. #1789
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    I'll bring the liquor and the hookers, rest easy.

  40. #1790
    I used to be funny.
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    Sure, as soon as that payment goes through ...

  41. #1791
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I am all moved in, and I have to admit it feels good just sitting here.
    Give us a tour then.

  42. #1792
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I am all moved in, and I have to admit it feels good just sitting here.
    You've got 10 days to enjoy it now.


  43. #1793
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We've just had our pavement laid, and now want a gardener in to sort the grass out. So I called a geezer;

    "Do you have Children at the property"

    2 kids, yeah.

    "... I can come and have a look, but I won't be able to while they're there"

    Fuck. Ing. Hell.

    I appreciate you sticking to what are very clearly bail / probation conditions, but mate...

  44. #1794
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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  45. #1795
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Are you giving him the job?

  46. #1796
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    Spikey.

  47. #1797
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    Are you giving him the job?
    He recommended another bloke.

    I won't be using him either.

  48. #1798
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Get him in for the board, Spikes. Let Trimmy Saville give Yev's rat man a run for his money.

  49. #1799
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Trimmy Saville

    He should rebrand. Let me call him.

  50. #1800
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I love that he goes around being up front about it.

    "Listen, I'd love to do the job, and I can quote a great price. There's just one small problem."
    "What?"
    "I'm a paedophile."
    "You're a paedophile?"
    "A paedophile."
    "Not an ebedophile?"
    "Nope."
    "Well..."
    "Have you got kids?"
    "Erm... yes."
    "Well, fella, the choice is yours. Don't say I didn't warn you."
    "Fuck it, the price is too good. You've got a deal."
    "Thanks, mate. This could really turn my career around."

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