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Thread: The House Thread

  1. #2551
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    It is a little much but as you say, exposed wood

  2. #2552
    I used to be funny.
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    I'd bump into that at every opportunity.

  3. #2553
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Got sent a house today by an agent before it went up on rightmove that looked good, perhaps a little too good. It has since gone up as an entirely different, much shitter house on the same road.

    Baffling as it was a full marketing thing on some weird agent platform called Street.co.uk, so they must have had this other house for sale at some point although there is no record of it having sold within the last 20 years.

  4. #2554
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Classic bait-and-switch. Lure you in with something fake, get you to sign-up/agree terms with them then send you the dregs they actually have

  5. #2555
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I was actually going to see something else with them, but this seems fairly high level incompetence even from an estate agent*. Here's a surprisingly not ridiculously over priced recently renovated house for X, oh no, sorry, what I meant to send you was the one over the road that we actually have on the market that hasn't been touched in the 30 years since it was built and is about 50% smaller, also for X. :/

    There was some story about that other one having been withdrawn from the market despite offers over X having been received, although I never saw it come on and I watch it keenly.

    I'd almost reconciled myself to the misery of the suburbs and everything. Back to the grand design by the cricket pitch.

    *That said, the other day another one forwarded me an email chain in error, they were trying to send me some information that they had already sent me and I'd asked for something else mentioned that wasn't included, so now I know that some retired IT bod is also interested in the cricket pitch. Alas. Had a foreign sounding name though so hopefully the bid openers at the council are all massive racists.
    Last edited by niko_cee; 18-04-2024 at 07:58 PM.

  6. #2556
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    For reference this is what was promised:

    https://street.co.uk/platform/proper...215?type=sales

    And this is what materialised:

    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properti...hannel=RES_BUY

    It's missing a floor.

  7. #2557
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    TTH rolling in the money. Love to see it.

  8. #2558
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Hardly. I was expecting to sell my house in Guernsey and live like a king over here, but it's just endless dystopian suburbia for about the same money. Large developer built areas are just dreadful.

  9. #2559
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Move up to Auchterarder and live like a king

  10. #2560
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    There was probably a better chance of me persuading my wife to move to Australia, as had been my original plan.

  11. #2561
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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  12. #2562
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    There's actually a house down here I think I've posted on here before which I refer to as the footballers' wives house which is a bit like that second one. I think it's pretty much at the end of the Gatwick runway though and in the middle of buttfuck nowhere which is a bit of a turn off.

    My uncle lives in Perth, think he has quite a nice house.

    No thanks.

  13. #2563
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Perth itself is a bit of a shitehole these days but Perthshire is absolutely lovely. Doubt I’ll move back to scary Dundee now.

  14. #2564
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    You could always move to sunny west lancashire.

  15. #2565
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I'd forgotten how depressing house hunting can get.

    Doubly so here, where everything was built in the 90s*, has been inhabited by the same boomer fucks for 30 years and is part of a suburban close boarded fence hellscape, where your pitiful garden is overlooked by at least 5 other houses.

    Kill me now.

    *Or, if older, has been inhabited by same said fucks for even longer.

  16. #2566
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Have they also not been decorated for twenty years because the houses have earned more than them since?

  17. #2567
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Mostly, and they all seem to think they're in 'move in condition' when in reality they need gutting and tens if not hundreds of thousands of pounds spent.

  18. #2568

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    Yeah these boomer cunts who bought these big houses 30 years ago are a nightmare for never decorating it since. We ended up paying £30k more for a house last year versus a very similar one up the road because it didn’t need the antique kitchen and bathroom punting into a skip immediately.

  19. #2569
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    House hunting really is the pits.

  20. #2570
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    We moved in to ours 5 years ago with the plan of renovating the kitchen I reckon was installed in the 90s but here we are still going strong with it. The main issue being rather than just a nice overhaul the wife is on about knocking down a wall and putting a new roof with skylight on which significantly increases costs beyond a simple interest free deal.

  21. #2571
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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  22. #2572
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    The boomer houses that need gutting and re-doing inside never seem to be that much cheaper either.

  23. #2573

  24. #2574
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    The last one there had one of the things that bugged me when house hunting. Listing a downstairs room as a bedroom on the floor plan and calling it a 4 bed. It’s a 3 bed, as there are three bedrooms upstairs.

  25. #2575
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    It does have an en suite to be fair

  26. #2576
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Those places are all over budget and absolutely fucking miles away from here. Worthing must be about 30 miles away, my search radius is like 3, and not even that really, which is the main problem, admittedly. That said, even unlimited money wouldn't actually buy you a decent house within with Horsham ringroad. I'm just holding out for some mid-tier CA execs to get culled by SEGA or something as that's my only hope of not having to build my own house.

    And that Worthing house isn't even in Worthing for fuck's sake.

  27. #2577
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    What’s the obsession with Horsham?

    I have to go quite often for work and it really is soulless. TTH Meet though next time I’m there.

  28. #2578
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    That's where I live. I'm not obsessed with it, it's just where I have to find a bastard house, and it seems to be some bizarre enclave of stupidly expensive crap houses, which I thought was a life I'd left behind. At least it made sense on a tiny island with a mad amount of rich people and a very finite amount of land.

    Hit me up though. Bit harsh on the soulless front, it's medium soul, probably.

  29. #2579
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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  30. #2580
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Tiny garden, supposed to go and look at it on Saturday but am going to tell the agent it'd be a waste of my time, but yes, all hands on deck, if anyone has a relative they want to off in the region I'm all ears.

    This was the house I wanted to buy but it went under offer before my house did. Hopefully it falls through.
    Last edited by niko_cee; 23-04-2024 at 06:32 PM.

  31. #2581
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike View Post
    The last one there had one of the things that bugged me when house hunting. Listing a downstairs room as a bedroom on the floor plan and calling it a 4 bed. It’s a 3 bed, as there are three bedrooms upstairs.
    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properti...hannel=RES_BUY

    On that note, this counts as a four bed. You can see which one doesn't quite line up.

  32. #2582
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Get across the border to Reigate. Sunlit fucking uplands.

  33. #2583

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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    That’s not far off my house (from the outside) and mine was less than a third of the price. The mortgage will be sickening.

  34. #2584
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    No, but I can't say that it isn't galling that prime stockbroker belt places seem to be more affordable.

  35. #2585
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's because the market's full of people who don't want to move out of Horsham. Classic scenario in the joker belt, i.e. the ring of the first towns outside London that are not culturally aligned to London. Would guess it's Horsham that side, unless you count Crawley as a place, which I don't.

  36. #2586
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    That’s not far off my house (from the outside) and mine was less than a third of the price. The mortgage will be sickening.
    Okay maybe Scotland isn’t that cheap. Omw to boro

  37. #2587
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    I always had in my head Jimmy was from Horsham. Not sure why?

  38. #2588
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Probably confused it with Hersham, which I'm also not from but it's in the name of my nearest non league football team.

  39. #2589
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Another small gripe, or maybe tip, on the house hunting front, dog owners, your houses stink, you should do something about that. You won't know as you'll be immune to it, but believe me, they do.

  40. #2590
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I'm a twit

  41. #2591
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Your mums stink.

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