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Thread: The House Thread

  1. #1251
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    18 stone, sat on Lofty's cone, for a rollercoaster ride, her chasm opens wide.

  2. #1252
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Fit on the phone, 18 stone is the rhyme is it not?
    This isn't poetry club.

  3. #1253
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Had a bloke round today looking in the loft, cos we’ve got a bit of damp in the corner of a bedroom ceiling. He was a bit of salesman, and in the end really tried to pressure us into signing up for the buy now pay later but we politely declined and sent him on his way.

    Basically he quoted us Ł4500 to fill between the beams in my loft with something called Icynene, which is expanding foam spray. He said it contained no chemicals and didn’t have “that fishy smell that people associate with foam insulation.” I had no preconceptions so just nodded.

    I live in a three bed semi detached house and at present there is fibreglass applied to between the upstairs ceiling and what is essentially the loft floor, after my dad boarded over some fibreglass we got installed for free about eight years ago.

    Now this man wants us to spray foam between the beams on the loft ceiling. There is already some felt covering what I presume is the bare tiles. I should really provide a pic but I’m not home at the moment and wanted to post cos I already have 3 missed calls off the bloke who came.

    My dads a very handy man and says we don’t need this foam stuff. “It’ll just make your loft warm.”

    Has anyone had it done? Heard anything good/bad about it? Hopefully specifically about Icynene, but even the foam in general.

    Heres a video he showed us:

    I'm not a fan of foam sprays. One of the risks is it can bridge your wall cavity and cause damp to track through from the outer brick skin onto the inner skin. You also need to be clear on whether it's closed cell or open cell. The latter can also cause condensation with no vapour barrier installed.

    Some mortgage companies are not a fan of spray foam insulation. Therefore, if you are going to do it, check with them first. Also check what type of guarantee the company will provide and whether it's insurance backed. If it's not a IBG, then the guarantee provided by the company will be worthless if they decide to liquidate, which can often happen. The wording of the guarantee is also important. Although, i'm not sure why they are recommending you insulate your whole house due to one area of damp.

    There is also no point in agreeing a solution until the problem is diagnosed; otherwise you are potentially wasting money. Regarding the damp, is there any mould present, or is it simply a dark staining to the wall? Also, what time of year is/has the stain appeared?

  4. #1254
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Fit on the phone, bridged wall cavity.

  5. #1255
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Sounds like a catch, avoid the snatch.

  6. #1256
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Turn up Lofty. Weighing 18 stone is pussy. I probably weigh more than you now.

  7. #1257
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Bitch rejected me again, she must want to extend our contact time too.

    MyCreditFile has indicated Experian have got an incorrect address due to some funky flat-street naming going on with my place which must be what's causing it. House buying plans delayed by at least a month because of some clerical fuck-up by a random company and even fixing it isn't straightforward going off reports. Love this society.

  8. #1258
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    Who are the new mortgages with? A degree of common sense and a copy of your credit report should enable things to progress.

  9. #1259
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    This is just for the advance I want from my current mortgage provider (Hali) to allow me to pay the H2B off. I'm telling the bitch I'll be forced to remortgage and leave them if she can't find me my 60K urgently and she's just like 'yeah, computer says no, come back in a month'.

  10. #1260
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    Bitch rejected me again, she must want to extend our contact time too.

    MyCreditFile has indicated Experian have got an incorrect address due to some funky flat-street naming going on with my place which must be what's causing it. House buying plans delayed by at least a month because of some clerical fuck-up by a random company and even fixing it isn't straightforward going off reports. Love this society.
    This is what happens when you live in a shanty town.

  11. #1261
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Credit scores are one of the biggest scams going. Fuck those shysters

  12. #1262
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Nobody but you can see your score. Largely because it's a complete irrelevance that the fuckers use to turn the system into a game to get soppy bollocks to sign up long term and take their courses on how to improve their score.

    The banks access your data and run it against their own criteria. You having a 600 or a 900 doesn't matter.

  13. #1263
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    Exactly right Spikey. No score makes no difference it’s based on what is within the credit report. I’ve seen a 999 score for someone who was bankrupt 3 years previously makes no odds though as no high street lender would touch her because of the previous credit issues.

    Even the banks internal credit scores are bullshit though. I’ve genuinely had a bank BDM before ask me if the client has a landline as if I put that on the Decision In Principle it will pass their internal score. Madness.

  14. #1264
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Fucking Kent.

    Any time I cast my net 10 miles wide on Right Move I get presented with fucking Palaces for 50p, only to find out they want me to swim to the cunt after work.

    Anyway, why is Kent somehow immune to the South East property prices? A 3 bed new build for Ł240k? How? It's as proximate to London as I am, but the equivalent property is Ł80k-Ł100k less.

    Kent:
    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property...-96085469.html

    Essex: https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property...-95078024.html

    Fuck off.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 14-08-2020 at 10:11 PM.

  15. #1265
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You're asking why property on the Isle of Sheppey costs fuck all? You'd be better off turning yourself into a puffin and flitting between jagged headlands for the rest of your days.

  16. #1266
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's cheaper than fucking Canvey.

  17. #1267
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Both Kent and Essex are end of days stuff, across the board.

    I mean, very nice places where many of my sort of relations live.

  18. #1268
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I know nothing about Kent, other than its property prices piss me off. As for Essex, it's simple (lolol). If it's a town - it's a shithole. If it's the country - it's rich people. If it's Brentwood - hit it with something blunt and heavy.

    Anyway, I'm trying to join the country folk for (much) less than 400k and it's a right laugh. The new build ain't happening as Rishi is ending 'help to buy' for everyone bar first time buyers before it'll be finished. Ł5 Nandos banter Dickhead.

  19. #1269
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Most of the good stuff around here in my price range has RETIREMENT APARTMENT slapped on it as if those cunts haven't had enough out of subsequent generations.

  20. #1270
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I know it's never been a particularly well hidden secret, but Estate Agents are a special breed of cunt, aren't they?

    I had one call me earlier (on a Sunday? OK m8) and he managed to piss me off three times in about three minutes.

    First he called to tell me that a house was for sale in our 'desired area' when it's 22 miles away from where we're looking and actually more of a shithole than my current area. He then told me that the owners are keen to sell (Well no shit, maybe that's why they put it on the market?) and they would probably take Ł15k less than the asking price. They're paying you for this, you slimy prick.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 23-08-2020 at 09:11 PM.

  21. #1271
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Estate agents are up there with recruitment and letting agents. All slimey, dishonest, sell their own grandma, cunts.

    Never trust a word they say. How they 'earn' their fee I'll never know.

  22. #1272
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The mortgage advisor I have been speaking to reckons nobody is doing ten per cent deposits on flats at the minute. They are too risky. I had found one I liked, but it is very much a first-time buyer sort of flat, so I don't suppose waiting a bit longer is a problem if we're all in the same shitty boat. But is that right? How much could a flat like that realistically go down in price before nobody sells anything to anyone?

  23. #1273
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Don't you have H2B on that, too? That would leave you needing a 70% mortgage which surely everyone would be offering.

  24. #1274
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I think I would rather wait/tap into some pre-inheritance than go down that road.

  25. #1275
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Any particular reason?

    I've pondered whether I should look into a help to buy but haven't actually done any research into it.

  26. #1276
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    By Help to Buy do yous mean the mortgage guarantee part rather than the ISA part?

    It fucking ended in NI in December 2016. Twats.

    I've got the ISA though.

  27. #1277
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Any particular reason?

    I've pondered whether I should look into a help to buy but haven't actually done any research into it.
    It seems like an unnecessary complication when I don't really have to do it.

  28. #1278
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Ah, fair enough.

  29. #1279
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Help to Buy sounds great at first, but it seems like a pain in the arse in reality. You're restricted to new builds only, which half the time puts the price up by about as much as the Government will give you anyway. Then you're splitting your debt in half, with different terms.

    If it were me I'd take advantage of the ISA's they do, but I'd just buy a non-new build and avoid owing the government 60 grand.

  30. #1280
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    The mortgage advisor I have been speaking to reckons nobody is doing ten per cent deposits on flats at the minute. They are too risky. I had found one I liked, but it is very much a first-time buyer sort of flat, so I don't suppose waiting a bit longer is a problem if we're all in the same shitty boat. But is that right? How much could a flat like that realistically go down in price before nobody sells anything to anyone?
    He’s right. If it’s a flat you want though, and can only get to the 10% as long as your credit is fine you could take out a personal loan for the extra 5% deposit and then. Or you could take a smaller lump of the help to buy loan you only have to have it in 5% increments then just buy it out in a couple of years time when your remortgage is due.

    If your adviser had anything about him he would give you these options.

  31. #1281
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    He's got a Chinese name so I'm not entirely sure it's not just a front to get my National Insurance details.

  32. #1282
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Ive purchased one of these and its superb. The most difficult part is masking off the areas you dont want to paint. That takes a while. Once you start painting, you can do an entire room in about 5 minutes.

  33. #1283
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Couldn't you just pay a Polack Ł100 to paint your house?

  34. #1284
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Ive purchased one of these and its superb. The most difficult part is masking off the areas you dont want to paint. That takes a while. Once you start painting, you can do an entire room in about 5 minutes.
    Unless you're a painter and decorator, isn't this purchase a little excessive?

  35. #1285
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dquincy View Post
    Unless you're a painter and decorator, isn't this purchase a little excessive?
    Purchased the sprayer
    Painted a hallway, two bedrooms and a living room
    Painted an outside fence
    Returned sprayer

    The answer to your question is absolutely.

  36. #1286
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    That's the sound of the white man's jaw making contact with the floor.

  37. #1287
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I'm a twit

  38. #1288
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    I did start with the roller and a paintbrush. I did the maths and it would have taken 4 years. Did the whole house in two days. Not included the preparation which is by far, the longest part.

  39. #1289
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Purchased the sprayer
    Painted a hallway, two bedrooms and a living room
    Painted an outside fence
    Returned sprayer

    The answer to your question is absolutely.

  40. #1290
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    In another episode of Lukie Answers:

    The house buying has thankfully been delayed till late this year at the earliest. I'm looking at a real shortfall in having the required 20%+Ł10k for stamp duty and so forth. I realise it's not advised etc etc but can I potentially take out a big ol' credit card now for say 20K today and then use it when the time comes to supplement my deposit?

  41. #1291
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I thought stamp duty was cancelled until April?

  42. #1292
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    B2Ls still pay their bit.

  43. #1293
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Our offer on the house has been accepted and we are set to move in soon. Really chuffed to get this place: https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property...-77313167.html

  44. #1294
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Bit too cheap for you, no?

  45. #1295
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Look at the pictures you bearded twat.

  46. #1296
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I did.

    The interior is perfect but the property as a whole suffers because it's sub 500k.

  47. #1297
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    Lmao i feel claustrophobic just looking at the pictures.

  48. #1298
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    If you changed the insides, you should be ashamed of yourself

  49. #1299
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The government should be preserving that for the nation instead of putting illegals up, and if Nigel Farage hasn't got a campaign going by tomorrow morning he isn't the man I thought he was.

  50. #1300
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    In another episode of Lukie Answers:

    The house buying has thankfully been delayed till late this year at the earliest. I'm looking at a real shortfall in having the required 20%+Ł10k for stamp duty and so forth. I realise it's not advised etc etc but can I potentially take out a big ol' credit card now for say 20K today and then use it when the time comes to supplement my deposit?
    Not to supplement the property deposit but you can use it to pay the stamp duty.

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