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Thread: My neighbor's missing

  1. #1
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    My neighbor's missing

    since yesterday afternoon. She's a 73 year old woman who lives up the street with her husband. Her phone and wallet are at their house.

    The weird thing is that I spoke with her husband earlier today; he'd set up his telescope on the street to see the Transit of Mercury. He seemed pretty normal and asked me about college, no signs that his wife was missing.



    The police are doing an investigation now. Excitement finally comes to 14th Avenue.

  2. #2
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    U is missing, too.

  3. #3
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    In all seriousness, your neighbour killed his wife.

  4. #4
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yeah, he has.

  5. #5
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Euthanasia.

  6. #6
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Normal people don't do shit with telescopes. Guaranteed nonce.

  7. #7
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    She'll turn up alive and well.
    I'm a twit

  8. #8
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Is she fit

  9. #9
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Disturbia.


  10. #10
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    She left with her lover.

  11. #11
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    Spoons dad?

  12. #12
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    I have a telescope.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    And a wife.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Your neighbour can't be expected to keep tabs on all of his wives.

  15. #15
    Senior Member GS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Your neighbour can't be expected to keep tabs on all of his wives.
    This deserves a .

  16. #16
    Senior Member elth's Avatar
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    It's moidah for sure.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Her body turned up last night in the canyon next to my house. The verdict is that she had a heart attack while walking, probably Sunday afternoon. It's sad.

    The husband is still acting weirdly calm but he doesn't seem to have murdered her.

  18. #18
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    Way to ruin all our joking around.

  19. #19
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    The canyon killer. He's definitely offed her.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Question: doesn't looking at the Sun through a Telescope basically fucking fry your eye?

  21. #21
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    No.

  22. #22
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Going for a walk in a canyon. Oh lol.

  23. #23
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    He 100% killed her. No doubt in my mind.

  24. #24
    Senior Member
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    Can't wait for the TV serialisation of this.

    The little Amish kid playing Spoon will be awesome, I know it.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Davgooner's Avatar
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    Homicide Hunter.

  26. #26
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    No.
    Does too, I've seen it on 9gag.

  27. #27
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Davgooner View Post
    Homicide Hunter.
    A Will Ferrell sequel?


  28. #28
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Then why aren't all astronomers blind?

  29. #29
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Genetic malfunction.

  30. #30
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    If you are intending to go out anywhere these days you take your phone with you at the very least and probably your wallet too. Seems fishy.

  31. #31
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Going for a walk in a canyon. Oh lol.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gray Fox View Post
    If you are intending to go out anywhere these days you take your phone with you at the very least and probably your wallet too. Seems fishy.
    a) The foothills are literally just up the street. She presumably had a heart attack and then tumbled into the canyon. b) Maybe, but old people are different, and given there's little cell reception in the hills I don't see how either would be of much use.

    I guess he could have drugged her or something, but the reality is that in ten years the same thing could probably happen to my parents. Shit luck.

  32. #32
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Spoon, the sooner you accept that he's murdered the shit out of her and get your sleuth on the sooner you can start the greatest diary thread of all time.

  33. #33
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    The canyon killer will kill your parents sooner than ten years now that he has the thirst.

  34. #34
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    Why do Americans spell things like Neighbour and colour incorrectly?

  35. #35
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Because they want to be different and quirky.

    Also, I really hope that Spoon has forwarded on TTH's suspicions to the authorities.

  36. #36
    I used to be funny.
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    Possibly some civil disobedience from the colonial days which stuck.

  37. #37
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    I guess he could have pushed her off the trail.

  38. #38
    Living Legend! TG09's Avatar
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    This is where we start tagging people with GPS chips, so we can track everyone in the world....Muahahahaha.

    Seriously, hope she gets found.

    (Havent read the whole thread, so not sure if she has been found yet!)

  39. #39
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Don't worry mate, she turned up in the end.

  40. #40
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by TG09 View Post
    This is where we start tagging people with GPS chips, so we can track everyone in the world....Muahahahaha.

    Seriously, hope she gets found.

    (Havent read the whole thread, so not sure if she has been found yet!)
    Someone at work suggested taking DNA from everyone at birth as a crime deterrent.

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