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Thread: You Row Fish Son 2016

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    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    You Row Fish Son 2016

    Yes, it's everyone's favourite singing competition this week. Semi finals are tomorrow and Thursday and the final is on Saturday, obviously. The songs are all on the Eurovision youtube page here, though I doubt anyone cares much.

    The voting works slightly differently this year, not sure what the point of the change is and will probably take away from the suspense if I'm imagining it right.

    The EBU announced on 18 February 2016 that a new voting system would be implemented at the contest for the first time since 1975. The new system, inspired by the voting system of Melodifestivalen, involves each country now awarding two sets of points from 1-8, 10 and 12: one from their professional jury and the other from televoting. After viewers have cast their votes, the results of each professional jury will be presented, with countries receiving 1-8 and 10 points being displayed on-screen instead of 1-7, which had been the case since 2006, and the national spokesperson only announcing the country receiving 12 points. After the results of the professional juries are presented, the televoting points from all participating countries will be combined, providing one score from each song. The results of countries finishing between 11th and 26th in the public vote will be automatically added to the scoreboard, with only the results of the top ten countries being announced by the hosts. The new voting system will also be used to determine the qualifiers from each semi-final, but as before the qualifiers will be announced in a random order.
    I'm not that Dutch bloke but I have been following the lead up a bit for betting purposes, and as with everything I post, this is going to turn into a betting post:

    The British song is terrible, obviously. It's so incredibly bland that I think I find it more offensive than any of the other shit we've entered in the last few years.

    Russia are favourites, the staging is fairly impressive but a lot of the elements seem like rehashes of stuff that's already been done in recent years. And the song is rubbish. I've opposed in quite a big way.

    Ukraine have a song about war and stuff which is getting plaudits, some of it's in Crimean and sounds good, but the woman absolutely can't sing in English and that bit's horrid. They should go off joint favourites really.

    Sweden's effort is pretty good but there's probably not enough flashing lights and explosions for it to win.

    Armenia are my outsider shout, I'm not really sure why they're that much longer than France and Australia.

  2. #2
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I thought Aussieland were only in it last year.

    Are they going to be in from now on?

    Also, the former German contestant sounds like a bit of a nutter.

    http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/20...rovision/?_r=1

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Justin Timberlake to win.

  4. #4
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Oh and I really thought Uto would come back for this

    He's probably dead.

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    Senior Member CJay's Avatar
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    I just want an epic sax solo to bump in the car.

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    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Did he sign up? @Utotri

    Those new scoring rules make no sense to me.

    Who narrates it these days? Graham Norton?
    I'm a twit

  7. #7
    I used to be funny.
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    Yep. Ken Bruce isn't Terry Wogan enough so Graham takes the gig. He does alright, although lacks the late Terry's steadying alcohol intake.

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    Senior Member Vim's Avatar
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    I actually quite enjoyed this last year, even though I hate the rigged voting system.

    Also, I'm glad the winners of Sanremo didn't accept the invitation, they're a really boring band of 50-year olds. Instead, the runner-up who is born in 1995 is going to perform her song part in English and in Italian, which is great I think for this competition. Seems it's been decided that Italy aren't favourites though, so no chance there.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Did he sign up? @Utotri

    Those new scoring rules make no sense to me.

    Who narrates it these days? Graham Norton?
    They seem far too complicated.

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    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    I'm pretty sure the plan with Australia is for us to join a brand new Asiavision.

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    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    First semi final about to start on BBC 4.

    Feel free to change the thread title, by the way. It's annoying me now.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Why'd you make it like that in the first place?

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    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Dunno, banter.

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Normally Uto's thread is the only thing about Eurovision I partake of too, the selfish Dutch twat.

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    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Armenia is so, so good.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p03txnhh

    Richard Osman explains the voting system.

    Edit: I've gone for £5 E/W on Armenia.

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    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    A fairly colossal lay of Russia dominates my book at the moment. I'm pretty sure they'll lose the jury vote so I'll be looking to green at that stage.

    I have no idea how Ukraine will do. They're doing everything they can to make it as much a political statement without actually breaking the rules as possible. Shades of Lordi/Conchita in that the narrative might win it for them

    Sweden are a huge price, the song is popular and has looked good in rehearsals. They're the only scandinavian entry left so I imagine they'll mop up lots of votes there.

    Armenia will shorten a lot after she performs, like she did in the semi, but won't do well. I'm going to green then.

    France are a top 5/top 10 lay, the guy can't sing.

    Poland's entry is some boy who looks like a 16 year old dressed as Jack Sparrow, but the song is popular and will get votes.

    Belgium's entry is great, shame about the draw. Austria is similar but singing 23rd so might do better.

    Bulgaria is the catchiest song there, though the staging ruins any real chances she might've had.

    my bets:

    Bulgaria top Balkan at 3.75
    Netherlands top 10 at 2.26
    Sweden top 5 at 2.25
    Poland top 15 at 2
    Germany last place at 4
    Czech last place at 8.5
    Georgia top 10 at 13

  18. #18
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    My friend has invited me to a 'Eurovision party' in London tonight. Fancy dress and shit. Just gonna be loads of girls I went to school with that I don't know very well, and a couple of Irish blokes who live there and all of their Irish mates. Really can't be arsed, but it isn't like I have anything better to do.

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    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    My friend has invited me to a 'Eurovision party' in London tonight. Fancy dress and shit. Just gonna be loads of girls I went to school with that I don't know very well, and a couple of Irish blokes who live there and all of their Irish mates. Really can't be arsed, but it isn't like I have anything better to do.


    I hate this, but secretly wish I was Igor.

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    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    Aren't the Aussies favourites to take this?

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Second favourites.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I wonder what Doris thinks of some of these costumes.

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    Senior Member Serj's Avatar
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    For a Eurovision song, that Belgian number isn't half bad. No chance of winning.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I really like this, it's just a shame that it's right at the start and most people will forget about it though.

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    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    This man really needs a strepsil.

  26. #26
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    The drummer looks like he's in his own little world.

    He's absolutely loving it.

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    Bookie P_3's Avatar
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    I'm late to the party. Croaky Hungarian bloke sounds good.

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Wait, Australia? We're they afraid it wasn't enough of a joke already?

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    You'd be hard pushed to find a camper Israeli.

  30. #30
    Bookie P_3's Avatar
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    Bulgaria has too much excess fabric. Dancing alone to her song doesn't do her much good either. Song is ok.

  31. #31
    Bookie P_3's Avatar
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    Whatever Maz's lad is doing, it doesn't sound right for Eurovision.

  32. #32
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    There isn't a single thing about this woman that doesn't annoy me



    The seethe from Norton there was brilliant.

  33. #33
    Bookie P_3's Avatar
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    Germany has one of those Randrew furry lovers.

  34. #34
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    They should have stuck with the Nazi lover.

  35. #35
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Not a patch on the Moustache song.

  36. #36
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    I see Captain Hook has let himself go there.

  37. #37
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Speaking of moustaches, his is awful.

  38. #38
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    What is this

  39. #39
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    This is the most un-Cypriot song ever.

    The old boys playing backgammon whilst watching this in a cafe must be seething.

  40. #40
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    The song is garbage but the staging was brilliant.

    Uto must be wanking himself silly, or would be if he wasn't dead.

  41. #41
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    Shameful lustage

  42. #42
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    AVB with the Latvian entry. What a don.

    That Russian staging was insane.

  43. #43
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Georgia clearly only just got these special effects and are trying to use them all the fucking time.

    This is making my head hurt.

  44. #44
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mahow View Post
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p03txnhh

    Richard Osman explains the voting system.

    Edit: I've gone for £5 E/W on Armenia.
    Also went in with £5 E/W on Sweden, £5 E/W on the Netherlands pre-match and then £2.50 E/W on Belgium in play as I liked their song.

    Edit: Judging from the odds now, all the money is gone.

  45. #45
    Bookie P_3's Avatar
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    Loads of MILFs on this year. I like.

  46. #46
    Senior Member Serj's Avatar
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    Belgium, Sweden and Bulgaria were the best for me. Ukraine are worth a mention too, for basically throwing in a dubstep beat.

    Russia's going to win though, for the stage show.

  47. #47
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I want to go to Armenia.

  48. #48
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Just me who thought 'Wait, that's a Swedish song?' for most of those?

  49. #49
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I quite like Poland as an outsider.

    Presumably the new voting system is to fix it for Russia to win (as I can't really see how the 'peoples of Europe' are going to be voting for them to win anything).

  50. #50
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Wont it make it harder for them to win?

    It's still 50/50 between the jury and the public anyway.

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