I would sack him for that first paragraph. Forget that he sat and wrote that, and then he submitted it thinking it was clever and/or funny. It's the paint-by-numbers opening you get in every single one of these articles regardless of who writes them. It's either a shit anecdote, previously untold due to its utter irrelevance, or some strained to fuck allusion of wank.
With the death of President Franklin D. Roosevelt on 12 April 1945, beleaguered wartime leader Adolf Hitler had, amidst the doom and gloom, a renewed sense of optimism. His birthday was only a week away, and his long-term girlfriend had recently agreed to move in with him. Eighteen days later he shot himself rather than be taken alive by invading Soviet forces that had, over the preceding months, obliterated his armies and uncovered the shocking remnants of the worse genocide in history.
Following their improbable comeback victory over Juventus in mid-week, Jose Mourinho finds himself at a similar crossroads as his team prepares to take on their crosstown rivals. Five years on from their last league title, the 'Noisy Neighbour' might not sound much like the Soviet shelling that greeted Hitler as he blew the candles out on his fifty-sixth birthday cake, but...
Five-hundred quid. Invoice in the post.
