Just burnt my tongue on my coffee and thought of this thread.
Printable View
Just burnt my tongue on my coffee and thought of this thread.
Changing forums....
Oh Christ, I came in here to post only to learn I was in agreement with that Jeet.
THAT fucks me off more than change does.
Ian. :cool:
People that say 'Caph' instead of 'Caphay'.
Infinite cuntery.
I've got the shits.
Why spell it like that?
'Caf' doesn't look right. 'Cafay'? Mmm. It was easier to convey, perhaps.
Accidentally cashed out for £30 and missed out on around £80. Seething
Wafted on.
think of all the voddies and red bull tomorrow i could have got from that......................
Thread titles being different. It's "The little things in life that fuck you off" and it always will be, heathen.
Forgetting one thing when going for a weekly shop.
Reinstating shit titles from before is far worse. This thread doesn't count there, but the food and music threads can fuck off.
I never understood what the fuck 'spoiler, 10 songs' was all about.
I'm not sure if is is a Glasgow thing but here goes. People who post things on social media like:
"Oh a Chinese takeaway and a few beers? Don't mind if I do!"
Who the fuck are you asking that question to? Just fuck off.
It's not just a Glasgow thing unfortunately.
It's an insufferable twat thing, they get everywhere.
Another reason to not bother with social media.
I use Twitter and G+ more these days, but they operate more as a news feed than social media. Facebook really is a complete dose but worth keeping for its few uses.
Don't you hate people who ask themselves questions first? I know I do.
This 'and chill' crap. Piss off!
Just stopped at one of the service stations having a sambo for my breakfast. Some dirtbag beside me stepped out of his van for a fag and must have spit 20 times in the past 2 minutes the utter cunt.
Having sore eyes, blinking like a maniac today.
http://replygif.net/i/302.gif
There are some right miserable arseholes about. Last night I parked up in the city centre while I watched the football. Got back after the game, stick all my change in and the machine won't take one of my £2 coins. I manage to find enough change to get within 20p of having my ticket back. I didn't want to pay by card for the sake of 20p so asked the people in the queue behind me if any of them could give me 20p.
It was quite obvious I wasn't a tramp looking for change - although I'd give that to a tramp anyway if they asked. Not one of the bastards said a word. Luckily I did manage to find a 20p coin in my coat pocket. But just how tight and miserable do you have to be to not help someone out with twenty fucking pence? I was properly mardy all the way home.
These days if you acknowledge a stranger and put you're hand in your pocket you're probably getting your wallet and phone robbed, so it's probably for the best to keep going as quickly as possible.
I need a really massive shit but I've had a lob on for about 5 minutes for no apparent reason. Annoying.
Those of you who bought MVMT watches, how are you finding them after a few months? Mine seems to be struggling to keep time recently which is becoming annoying. There's no good reason for it to be broken as I haven't bashed it or anything - the worst that's happened to it is occasionally knocking it off my bedside table (onto a very thick carpet). Pretty crap compared to my old cheap Timex.
Mate why bother having a watch? You should have a holiday instead.
Are you paying, or... ?
I've heard Gorgie is nice this time of year...
:harold:
Well it is but can we talk about my watch please.
Mine is running perfectly but then I've only had it a month. I'm not sure why I even bothered to post this.
I'd have given you 20p, Lee.
Went to check their website to see if there's anything about repairs, and spotted this:
http://i.imgur.com/tfmGI6Y.png
Full tagline is "...don't break the bank" but the fuckers know exactly what they're doing there and they've trolled me hard with it.
Look at all the forum ponces wearing the same watch. :gay:
Maybe the gravitational field of your massive head is throwing it off.
Hey remember when you thought about getting one but you couldn't because you're so short you would have looked like Flavor Flav?
I don't think you should be smug about your height when your head makes up half of it.
Top banter.
Anyway, they have a 24 month warranty that'll hopefully cover it. The broken watch, not my head lol.
You can't out-bant Tobes. :D
I used to get called a powerpod at school because of my big head. Cus I need room for all the brains lol.
We used to call a boy that had an enlarged cranium 'Foetus'. :cool:
Fat people, old people, people with children and people with backpacks on the bus. Invent a separate bus for them please.
Parcel was handed to resident The parcel was delivered to MICHALIS.
It wasn't...
I was the only one home at the time, I didn't hear them, no notice was left, it's not in any spots they usually put it either.
It's probably at a neighbour, although I'm not sure which one and seeing as they are all old or have young kids I don't feel like knocking on doors right now.
I'm watching a documentary on George Washington but it's being narrated like a fucking Hollywood blockbuster trailer. The Yanks are so shit at this sort of thing. Wish it was on BBC4 and narrated by David Reynolds or someone equally astonishing.
Battery on my beard trimmer ran out whilst I was using it and now I've got a right dodgy looking goatee.
Is there a goatee that doesn't look dodgy?
No but this one looks especially bad.
What's this friend request shite?
Fuck off Benny, this isn't Facebook.
It was an elaborate plan for me to have everyone as a friend except a certain someone, which could onset some forum-based paranoia, you fucking gimp. Should have known you'd have moaned about it though.
Was it Scousepig?
I thought it was going to be me but sadly not.
Could the certain person even see who else you have as 'friends'?
Are you two not friends?
How did this beef even start anyway?
When Benny realised that Scouse was harder than him IIRC.
Where's the summer arachnid thread, or whatever gay name it got given?
Anyway, I've just launched a book at a whopping great big spider and legged it upstairs. Don't even know if I hit it. :doh:
Benny's taken an horrendous beating on this page.
:console:
One of these days one of the cunts who won't indicate on a roundabout is getting followed and slapped in the neck.
Seen someone turning right at a roundabout the other day. Like actually a straight right rather than the third exit.
A couple of the people I work with were moaning on Saturday night about sore throats and colds starting. Now I can feel my throat getting scratchy and sore and my nose is starting to run. Fuck's sake.
I've had a weird sore throat thing for over a week now, but it only starts at night, gets really bad until morning then fucks off for the entire day. Strange.
Benny why aren't we friends on FB? We were great friends circa 2010. :(
And Stevie, what about our MSN chats? God damnit. We've all grown apart.
Roundabouts are 50/50 in claims so watch out, regardless of who is in the right lane. In Scottish law anyway.
Not indicating? It's rife everywhere. Also 'not indicating' doesn't equal 100% at fault either.
This is what Lee is going to become.
Going to?
Not indicating at roundabouts fucks up the entire flow and as such is worse than not indicating in other situations. The fucking seethe when you're at a busy one and you wait as a car pulls out only to turn left is off the scale.
There's nothing better than coming up to what is normally a busy roundabout, but timing it so well that you can just sail right onto it. Agreed about non-indicating, it's seriously bad form.
Hitting the apex on the roundabout when it's empty. :drool:
I've decided that the best way to ease my seething is to stop indicating too.
Already has two cunts boiling on my way for lunch :cool:
:D
You're a cunt.
I felt bad first time but it was coming naturally by the 2nd.
The werewolf game. I don't get how the theme fits the game. :(
Uni deciding to bump the price of the Park and Ride up to £1 from the 20p a day it cost last year.
Oh and first week lectures/seminars, driving in for 10 minutes of 'this is what will happen this year, now fuck off until next week'. Brilliant.
Nearly took some prat out earlier as he cut across a roundabout without indicating. He turned to give me a bit of lip, only to witness a maelstrom of seethe and was quickly on his way.
:cool:
What scenes.
I like reading those to see teams referred to as 'we'.
Does anyone else do that?
The threads I've seen seem to largely be Mahow talking to himself, so the 'we' could be something a bit more sinister. Maybe he's seen Samoth talking about 'our girlfriend' and thinks a wonky split personality is the way to get one.
Bloody hell that's a strained attempt at a dig.
I forgot to post it in here yesterday, but forgetting my keys home and needing to spend an extra hour getting them had me properly seething yesterday. There aren't many as annoying things as arriving to your door and realising you left your keys inside.
Guys, my power's going down for 7 hours on Wednesday. Is the all the food in my fridge freezer likely to be done for?
Just don't open it and the freezer stuff should be fine, probably best to empty the fridge of as much as possible.
Alright. I'm thinking of alternatives for the frozen chips and veg. I'm hoping the fridge at work has a freezer drawer otherwise it's going to my mam and dad's.
I just typed out a long post on my phone in the question time thread and got a fucking server error as I submitted it.
Won't be a problem at all, you can leave it way longer than that without it starting to thaw out.
Thanks for the advice, lads.
http://foodsafety.wisc.edu/consumer/...s/poweroff.pdf
And now I'm scared again. Thanks, internet.
No no no. Get rid of it all. Completely defrost your freezer then let it build up again.
12 of us going away for new year (6 couples blerrrrghhh!!!) and the house they've picked only has one bathroom and 3 ensuites. F that.
EDIT: Also this..
http://i.imgur.com/o3BM5Z3.png
:wall:
Some cunt neighbour is using some sort of nosiy power tool outside. It's fucking half eight on a sunday evening. Fuck off inside and watch TV you wanker.
Then he'll have to get up and use them at eight in the morning.
Some fucker has just slapped my car with her door while getting out while I was sitting in mine. I've counted to 10 twice but it's not making it any less likely that I'm going to kick her wong mirror off as soon as she heads into Tesco.
Too afraid to say something to her face?
He was busy typing that post.
I was busy finishing my phone call and wedges. She got called a cunt to her face.
I bet you had your windows up.
Absolutely knackered today, am working until 7pm and am then off to see Doug Stanhope later. Looking forward to it but think I might be destroyed tomorrow, where i'll be doing another 10 hour day.
A ten hour day? Fucking hell, you nutter.
I wouldn't mind some 10 hour days, it would make a nice change.
When you're conversing with someone via email and you put 'kind regards' and they only put 'regards'. Cunt.
Kind regards is for nonces
And women
The person replying is a woman.
I've just spent the past hour and a half on Tesco.com looking up recipes and going around the house checking stuff we need. Also looking for deals etc. I got to my basket, spent over the £60 great, went to confirm my order and SHITE. Forgot to put in the £12 off if you spend over £60 code. So I backed up, put in the code, hit submit and it crashed. Had to close down, so went back and now my basket is empty. :drool:
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
Oh NO it's actually went through, that's why its empty. :mad:
EDIT: Oh thank fuck I can retrospectively add it. Panic over.
:cool:
oof!
He's fucking done you there, John.
http://i.giphy.com/4BB8y6rRCf5bW.gif
edit: Holy FPS Mr. Animated Gif.
The fact that single flights tickets are so much more expensive than returns (comparatively).
Fucking sick.
'Krgds'
:sick:
I'm away for work and they've put me up in a needlessly swish hotel, but it's a bit away from anything else and only serves food in the fully booked restaurant rather than anything at the bar, so I've just had a £22 room service burger and chips.
I always railed against this sort of expenses wanker and yet here I am. :(
:drool:
Welcome.
I think we need a picture of Toby miserably eating the chips of decadence. Get it up on Twitter.
It was served on a massive wooden tray and came with one of those metal bowl lids over the plate, just to cement the feeling of "Oh God, I'm such a twat, what have I become".
Room service on expenses. :drool:
The novelty soon wears off, but those first couple of times.
I used to buy loads of groceries and cook most days. Used to get so many snide remarks from colleagues for not hitting the money limit every day. Some of them cunts were buying pizzas before bed and binning them just to use the money ffs :face:
Get a grip Toby you fucking melt. Take as much as you can get away with.
I often buy cakes and stuff for dessert for the fam as well as lunch but pay with card so they don't know what I've bought. They don't ask for VAT reciepts but prefer them.
Where are you that their restaurant is fully booked on a Tuesday evening?
Inverness, but hotel restaurants being booked up is hardly unusual is it? They did have something at 8.30pm but I'd barely eaten all day and didn't fancy waiting.
What hotel?
The Drumossie.
And yes I'm sure there's fancier even here but had I chosen it would have been a cheap B&B in the city centre.
Outside of fancy places in big cities, I wouldn't have imagined it was all that regular an occurrence on a Tuesday.
They're hosting the conference I'm attending, which explains both why I'm staying here and possibly sheds light on why they're particularly busy.
Should have posted in the Jobs thread and been clear of you.
Artillery fired there. Ooft.
I'm an engineer.
:moop:
See you in the Jobs thread, Tobes.
Before you go @Magic recommend a decent pub to watch the Scotland game in on Thursday. I'm assuming you know Inverness pretty well by now.
That looks like it'll do. Glad you say that about Gellions as I was just looking at pictures and praying that wasn't the best available.
Its about a tenner from the hotel in to town IIRC. Do you have to eat at the hotel? There's a lovely bistro called the Fig & Thistle that's opened which is pretty good.
Yeah I got a taxi from the train station earlier and it was about that. Eating here tomorrow but will look somewhere else on Thursday night.
The clip that keeps the lid on my black recycling box has broken on one side so the lid doesn't full close. I put the food recycling bin on top of it to keep it from blowing off. The black box is to put in cardboard and glass - a weird combination, I'd say. Anyway, just spent about two minutes squashing a massive bastard of a cardboard box into a small enough size to fit in the recycling box for tomorrow. Opened the half-broke lid to reveal about nine giant slugs in there, obviously all enamoured with the smell of beer from the glass bottles in there. :sick: Serves me right for not rinsing them, I suppose. Annoying, though. I just put the cardboard on them, put the lid on best I could and ran back inside. Gonna take a real feat of bravery tomorrow to get it from the backgarden to the pavement at the front of the house, ready for the binmen.
I was waiting for the interesting bit and then the post ended. You boring bastard.
That's my weekday for you. Every weekday.
.....
I always mean to look.
I don't care if I am caught.
Why does the client never want the good logo? Always the crap one. You try to display them in a way to make sure they don't choose that one and then it ends up in a unanimous vote for the one you shit out in 5 minutes so you came in with more than a couple of half baked ideas.
Clearly the moral here is that you shouldn't try, just churn out shite in 5 minutes.
How many concepts do you provide?
Fucking mental. We do 3 absolute tops, but usually do one with a bunch of subtle variations.
My logo design work is so garbage that I have to do loads or I worry that they'll say they're terrible and never pay me again.
I want to design magazines :(
I've always worked on three for presentation, give them too many and they'll find it harder to make their mind up.
This is the issue with never having worked with other designers. I've just freestyled my whole career. Less logos from now on. Yay.
Another tip - never present stuff and say "So what do you think?". Always show them the work and talk them through it, and why decisions were made on fonts, colours, placement, whatever. If you can genuinely justify your decisions, then it almost becomes a logical decision rather than a question of taste. Doesn't always work, but I've found that since doing it, pointless and ridiculous revision requests have almost disappeared completely.
Got everything in by deadline but it's all a bit second rate and crap. I really should give myself longer deadlines but the way my contractor contract works means I can't charge under 46 CHF (30 quid) an hour (that's how much they would pay me if I was a full time employee and they're not allowed to pay under that legally or something) and people won't pay that much for an extended period of time leaving me always submitting 3 minutes before deadline.
Getting up for work when it's dark especially when I haven't set the heating to come on automatically either.
The heating already? :harold:
Getting to the gym only to realise you left your work shoes at home, meaning I have to spend the next hour driving home and back again. Seething on a Friday, horrible.
Can you not just wear trainers for a day and write it off as a mistake? Surely they'd rather have you working for the hour you were driving home? Or was that the intention? Ben. :cool:
I could but I'd feel a tit walking round in my gym shoes, subconsciously I probably left them at home to avoid doing any exercise. My subconscious :cool:
So you've binned the gym? How bad are your trainers like?
http://images.asos-media.com/inv/med...k/image1xl.jpg
I don't have time to go to the gym, because I had to go home, you tit.
My trainers aren't bad, it's just a smart office so if I'm wearing smart clothes and then some fucking gym trainers, it'll look stupid.
Yeah I'm sure nobody gives a fuck you precious twat.
#Boyd
I've got slippers to wear when I'm at my office, fuck wearing shoes all day.
I go barefoot when it's warm enough but slippers most of the time. I normally don't shower until mid-day so no socks either. :cool:
Some of us like looking smart, or smelling clean at least.
It's our turn for the wretched wife's family to 'have us' for Christmas dinner, so, like last time, they won't cook for shit and made everyone pay £46 each for a shit Christmas Dinner at a revolting 2 for £10 chain. That's not including the drinks.
Brilliant, however I've refused to go to somewhere as awful as that again, I'd rather pay more for quality (lol) like a Best Western or a Hilton (£50 and £65 respectively). Not sure how that'll go down with the savages.
"Ooooh they do a lovely carvery"
Die.
I assume the slippers gimp works from home?
Yeah one of those. They have 'special nights' where they serve up various cuisine versions of absolute dogshit for a fiver a head.
The BW is actually £60 a head. That's verging in to why the fuck are we bothering with this shit territory. £120 for a hotel chain tea? Fucking hell.
I wear slippers when I'm at home and in the office.
For fuck sake.
What's wrong with wearing slippers?
Socks without shoes are as bad as slippers.
There's about 3 or 4 people that wear slippers. Why wouldn't you if your feet are stuck under a desk for 90% of the working day?
Socks are worse than slippers. If you're going about in socks all day then putting your shoes back on you're just getting the inside of your shoes dirty.
Has anyone ever tried breaking with their left foot? Surprisingly difficult to do it smoothly.
Yeah when I was practicing for karting.
Right Hemisphere: Engage left foot braking
Right Hemisphere: Ok that's maybe a bit too much pressure
Right Hemisphere: I know, we'll press it harder now, going to go through the windscreen
Right Hemisphere: Press it fully, come to a complete stop
Left Hemisphere: Nice work
FUCK. I'm not convincing the brother in law, he's a pseudo-snob as well (lives on da finance bro) but he's just been sacked. I reckon that's his true reasoning for favouring the cheap shit place but he's using the 'soft play' line instead (it has a kids play area :sick:). I'm screwed gents, £46 a head for another absolutely wank, banterless Christmas dinner. Fucking hell.
Some girl on Facebook has just posted a Timehop or FB Memory from a few years back saying 'Waaa I look sooo good here! Need to get my arse in gear!!'. And yes, she probably was bang on BMI wise but there's little she can do about her face, which looks both then and now, like an equine afterbirth.
I wouldn't give a fuck who invited me or what obligation I was under, like hell would would I eat any hotel dinner on Christmas Day.
Once again I was put on the spot in front of them all, and feeling the pressure of being publicly outed as thinking they are a bunch of absolute philistines after rejecting the idea of going on holiday with them because we have 'no money' then spending loads of it on the house (lol), I bottled it. Pure and simple.
Offer to cook it :henn0rz:
I did, but then it turned out the brother-in-law's sister and mum and dad are now coming as well. That would make 11 people. Fuck that.
Ordered something from the US last Sunday. It hit Middlesex on Friday morning, last scanned about 10am. Annoyingly it's been handed over to Yodel. They haven't even bothered to collect it yet. Expected due date was yesterday too. For fucks sake.
Almost got ticketed there by an attendant not even in the city centre! Unreal we can afford to pay these cunts Sunday rates yet have to close libraries etc. Another good SNP job well done. Arseholes.
We should really start adapting those "Thanks Obama!" gifs for you.
Fire alarm has started beeping in the office, presumably because it needs a new back up battery. I tried switching it off at the mains before doing anything with it, only to discover that the only switches I can get to apparently do nothing...
I can barely reach the thing anyway as there's no ladder in the building, so I'm not all that keen to start fucking around with arms outstretched, but the noise is becoming insufferable already.
If you were an engineer you could sort that.
I'm an officer and I can't even office.
I don't think you're supposed to be able to just turn off a fire alarm, that would be something of a design loophole.
Yeah I can understand your frustration, Magic. People who get tight about food are weird. I understand not wanting to splurge every time you fancy going for a meal, but going for a £45 Wetherspoons or similar Christmas dinner instead of a £60 decent place...I don't get it.
I have a friend from home who has a very decent job and a cheap rent so is hoarding money. He's always going for city breaks and spends about £50-100 on nights out every week. But when we're all back home and us ladz arrange to go for a curry or something and I suggest going to an actually decent place that costs about £15, he gets really funny, says 'I don't want to spend that much', and insists on us going to the shite curry house that does £8 for starter, curry and rice, and it is always a bit rubbish. If he was just really tight in general, or was consistently saving money I'd be cool with it, but because it is such a specific anomaly I can't help but get really irritated by it.
Scouse getting the first neg in on the new board. Seething.
Someone on my fb news feed just posted this:
http://viralwomen.com/post/reasons_w...s_antifeminist
Possibly one of the worst things I've ever read.
It's awful but isn't that pretty much a standard article these days? There's always someone waiting to become outraged at the next opportunity.
That's a very offensive thing to say.
Someone's just tried to buy £830 worth of clothes from mrporter.com using my credit card. Thankfully Tesco blocked it.
That whole selfie thing. Fucking hell.
Horrible vacuous people taking photos of themselves at every opportunity, people with little better to do online mocking them for it and the outrage brigade ready to pounce, slipping into their offended outfit to explain why it all REALLY MATTERS.
What a world we live in.
I imagine £830 is about four items on Mr Porter.
Yes, I had a look. £335 for a pair of trousers. :harold:
I'm glad Tesco Bank can see I'm a viciously tight cunt from my transaction history to call buying some expensive clothes 'fraud'.
:D
My bank does it with me all the time.
Any deviation from my normal spending patterns results in a call from their fraud department and at best the card being suspended and at worst outright cancelled.
They did the latter when I took £300's worth of Baht out when I was in Thailand and it cost me the best part of a tenner calling the buggers to explain that doing so wasn't necessary and they needed to reinstate it or I'd be fucked if I needed any more cash.
They blocked my credit card when I tried to pay for my hotel in Jamaica too. After 24 hours travelling to get there, I was far from impressed.
I've got to expect a call at some point tomorrow, but I've no idea whether I can still use my card or not.
Indeed.
I wouldn't mind it so much if there was a way to give them a heads up before you travel abroad so that they at least subject the transaction to some scrutiny before deciding it must be bogus, but they stopped asking for details of future foreign trips in advance over a decade ago and whenever I've phoned up since to tell them I'm leaving Blighty for a bit they think I'm fucking mental and then proceed to cancel my card when I get there anyway. :mad:
We were 3 weeks into our USA trip when they decided to block our card because we used it in Vegas (on our 3rd day there). Made no sense at all.
Online banking, at least with Halifax, has a little section for you to tell them when and where you're travelling too.
I've never had a problem with my cards.
Did you notify the bank you were travelling? We always have to do it here. I never use my card abroad, but I always notify in case something happens my prepay one.
Are you still going to Ukraine, Mahow?
As I said, my bank, a big one, just says "we don't need you to do that any more" whenever I've phoned to try and tell them, so I've just given up doing so now.
As if their system is somehow sophisticated enough to know that it's me using my card at Bangkok airport's cash point for the first time ever in 15 years of having it.
I had lived here at least 2 years, possibly 3+ before Yorkshire Bank decided that taking money out in the US was potential fraud.
I had to go home (remembering where I was sat when having to conversation tells me how long I had been here), chuck some money on Skype and place a call to their helpline to explain that I had been taking pretty much the same amount of money out of my bank on a constant basis for 2 years before they decided to flag it and, no, its not fraud, its rent. So please fix it before my rent is late.
I can just notify my bank online if I'm going to use my card abroad. I assumed that was normal practice.
I do that now, but having been here for so long I never anticipated it to be a problem.
Is that debit or credit card Lee?
I'd never use the former abroad.
Debit. I've never bothered with getting a credit card.
Maybe that's where the difference lies then.
Mine is the same, I notify for debit as I don't have a credit. You don't need to notify for a credit card. Not with my bank anyway.
Had a cough all weekend and it's peaked over the past 12 hours in that I've basically found it impossible to get any sleep. Didn't fall asleep til gone 3am and woke up about 2 hours later in a coughing fit. Attempted to get back to sleep, but gave up at about 6am.
Fucking infuriating.
What was supposed to be a day of leisure, with nothing to do but sleep in and catch up on various bits of TV and film will now be spent trying to block out the end of days soundscape going on outside. On two days notice the council are digging up and relaying the entire street starting at half eight this morning.
Piers Morgan is getting money from the National Lottery to be in its adverts. I don't care if I end up working in a box factory. All advertising must die.
How Americans hold their cutlery.
Example?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eati...nsil_etiquette
See american fork etiquette.
Does anyone really swap hands for every mouthful? That sounds insane.
What the fuck? How did you come across this?
America :harold:
Yeah that's not true either. If you're eating with just a fork, it's in your right hand. Otherwise it's left and right as normal.
That's FUCKING MENTAL.
You must watch really boring American TV shows if that's the sort of shit you pick up on.
It was in True Detective that I noticed it.
I don't know what swapping them around is about, but holding the fork in your right hand (if you're right-handed) makes much more sense. It's the fork that benefits from precision, seeing as the knife tends to only have one movement.
I hold my fork in my (dominant) right hand. The other way is stupid. Swapping is weird though, and I can't picture how the "like a pen" grip works.
Fork in the left hand knife in the right. I'm sort of ambidextrous because of my drumming though so it doesn't bother me.
Surely the knife if the precision tool, it requires more dexterity.
Yeah, I don't get how the fork needs precision.
I don't think either is particularly demanding...
On a side note I hate burgers that are so big and cumbersome that you can't comfortably:
a) Hold and bite
b) Cut up with a fork and knife
In the end it just ends up as a mess on the plate.
Fucking cutting up a burger, jesus christ.
:confused:
Ok you arseholes, what's wrong with that then?
Nothing wrong with cutting up a burger if the situation demands, fuck boys.
There bloody is. Although you're probably too weak to lift a whole one given the wreck that is your body so I suppose it's forgiveable for you.
I would only cut burgers when my moustache was fairly long and I was in public.
If you've got something in your burger which is going to cause havoc when lifted (chilli burger or something) then you'd be a mong for trying.
If you've paid more than say eight quid for a burger, you really shouldn't be eating with your hands.
Fancy burgers really are a load of shit. If you can't pick it up there is no benefit to it being in a bun.
The bun is nice?
I don't have anything against them in principle but the idea of a burger being 'fancy' (I suppose they are in comparison) always strikes me as a bit odd. If you want a 'fancy' beef dish then surely you go somewhere good and have a steak instead of ground up anuses in a bun.
Fancy burger places that can't keep a bun in tact need to burn.
A burger from a fast food joint, yes, scoff it how you wish. If you're eating in and have ordered a burger, then I fucking dare you to start picking the fucker up. Dare you.
Never seen the fork hand change occur in the wild.
Cutting a burger. :face:
Ordering a burger to eat at home. :face:
Lastly, I like fancy burgers. Also the non-fancy ones. Fast food ones can fuck off though.
Huge lol at Dav sitting in Wetherspoons eating his beer and burger with a knife and fork.
Eating beer is a new one.
Pinky out
:pards:
My mum couldn't stop laughing or taking the piss out of her boyfriend for about a week after she saw him eating a pizza with a knife and fork. Fair response I think.
With massive burgers I sort of understand it, but whenever a burger is too big to eat with my with hands I usually just think it serves me right for being a greedy bastard.
I'm sorry but I also eat pizzas with a knife and fork. You fucking philistines.
Of course you do.
It's a quite excellent smiley I have to say.
Does your wife also handle you with a knife and fork in the hope that you last longer?
Magic once again demonstrating that he doesn't have any actual class, just aspirations and some funny ideas about being 'posh'.
Hang on, I'm just preparing for Luca's pretend Italian seethe at me violating his adopted country's culinary habits.
Magic, you're the most Hyacinth Bucket motherfucker I've ever come across. If Hyacinth Bucket posted on 4chan.
Nothing she can do about the flopping unfortunately.
Ugh, talking about doing Italian food wrong, my parents cut spaghetti. The monsters.
Does Magic eat sandwiches with a knife and fork? How about crisps?
I also cook it so long that it's stodgy as fuck.
:pards:
Anyone who has seriously issues with any of this can make their way to Swan, H&I tomorrow afternoon and we'll discuss this over a burger and a beer.
Tally ho.
Sometimes as a student I'd buy a cheese and onion sandwich and a pot noodle from the corner shop and eat them together for my lunch, dipping the sandwich into the pot noodle as I went along.
Nobody needs to be eating spaghetti when there's far tidier options available that taste exactly the same anyway.
In tribute to Magic, I'm drinking my coffee with a spoon.
Typical TTH, someone makes a valid point and shows a better way of doing things then really clever, smart people take the mick by producing a ridiculous example that's been wildly exaggerated as a comparison.
Hey guys look at me! I'm eating some soup with my fingers in tribute to the neanderthals of TTH!
Does anybody know where I can purchase miniature cutlery so that I can eat my chewing gum like an upstanding member of civilised society?
Crisps and sandwiches aren't particularly greasy/messy (but still wash your hands afterwards). Pizza and burgers are, hence the 'fork and knife'.
Does anyone know where I can buy industrial sized pillows for my enlarged coconut?
Just have a wank mate, you shouldn't let yourself get ill just because she won't shag you.
What kind of stuck up knob eats pizza and burgers with a knife and fork?
All this pizza and burger talk is making me hungry.
I think pizza in a restaurant is a mission for knife and fork, but burgers should always be edible with your hands. I don't like the places that cram them with all sorts of shit to make them massive forcing you to use knife and fork.
Actually that would be a little thing that fucks me off; burgers that can't be eaten with out cutlery.
Just had a salmon sandwich. Ate it with my hands. Am I a bad'un?
Where the option exists, I always eat with a knife and fork. It's less messy.
How young people use Twitter. It makes no sense and they just seem to send messages like DADDY to Edward Snowden and it confuses me.
This was supposed to be the things you dont get thread. They dont annoy me in any way. Id just really like to know how the generation that have lived only on social media use it.
I don't get how people can be so mad for a band.
Fucking hell. :D
I can understand worshiping an organically created unique band but to display that sort of behaviour over what is essentially a sonic Findus Lasagne is nothing short of a disgrace.
Chinatown's grease filled streets.
I almost slipped twice today.
There's a TV show of Scream now. Yeah, that's right, the old horror movie. This trend of TV shows of films is getting a bit stupid now. It's bad enough that nearly every bloody film these days is a book, a sequel or a reboot.
This is the second night in a row that I've been unable to sleep because of pain in my shoulder. It's barely noticeable when I'm sitting or standing, but as soon as I lay down I can't find any position where it isn't sore. I haven't done anything noticeable to hurt it so I assume it's just an old person injury probably caused by my bad posture (and weight of my head lol).
My neighbours had some Spaniards round last night and were having a sing along on the piano from about 12-4am until my missus (the brave one) knocked on and told them to shut up. Who does that on a Sunday?
Upper class rave.
I'm in Inverness again and having to pay extra on my hotel bill for 0.5Mb internet access. :face:
I hope you're not planning on watching porn, Toby.
Yeah it won't be out of my pocket, but it's another of those things I begrudge paying on principle. The worst thing is that it's not even some budget end place that makes it's money off all the extras. What sort of dated shithole doesn't have free WiFi nowadays?
I was hoping to use Skype and possibly Netflix later but I'm not even sure it'll cope with those.
Netflix and chilling on your own. :(
Always travel with a Micro SD full of stuff. Though you're right, any hotel without complimentary WiFi over 2GB in this day and age (unless the speed is impossible to attain due to location) is a hole.
I've been that guy all of my life.
What's your hotel and room number? Let's start a kickstarter to get Toby some entertainment tonight.
There's a cinema next door so I might just go watch Spectre.
Although I'd like to see Only Connect and probably won't be able to iPlayer it when I get back. What a quandary.
A Quandary of Solace.
His own fault for not being an inSpectre of the hotels Wifi policy.
Goldeneye.
Cinema is sold out already so I'll have to try another day.
These mongs on pointless. what the fuck
Popcorn Time is down after some internal strife. This fucks me off immensely.
http://www.theverge.com/2015/10/26/9...e-io-fork-down
Seething. Popcorn Time was so, so good.
Finding a thing and then realising you don't have the charge cable for it.
That Just Eat advert does my head in.
I got my flight ticket upgraded to include executive lounge access this morning and was joking with my girlfriend that I wouldn't begrudge a delay as I'd be able to make the most of all the freebies. Lo and behold... :moop:
I hope you like peanuts and apple juice. And gleaming shoes.
If I didn't have to drive whenever I get back I'd be firing into the booze. As it is scones with clotted cream will have to do.
Two hours down. One more and they'll owe me €250 compensation. :drool:
You, or your work?
Shit theres a good question.
I was thinking about that, I'm not really sure what would have happened. The compensation is unlinked to the booking though (you get a cheque in the post rather than a refund to the booking card), and as it's meant to be for passenger inconvenience rather than added costs (which are covered on top) I think I'd have felt okay pocketing it.
Not that any of this matters, as they called boarding about two minutes after my last post. As I seem to say so often, there must be a way to harness my jinxing powers for personal gain.
People (old) doing their weekly shop in petrol stations. To me, a petrol station is meant to be a quick checkout, where you pay for fuel and maybe a snack or two. When you get a (usually older) person with a basket full of stuff, it completely slows down proceedings. Also, the stations are fucking expensive, who has the money to treat the place like a regular supermarket??
The petrol station where my parents live is like this and it's a pain in the hole. They have no queueing system either so while someone is buying the bread and crap for the week there's around 3 random queues that form down separate aisles and nobody has any clue what the fuck is going on.
Worst of all is the summer. They have a cone machine up the far end but when someone gets to the till and asks for 4 cones for their horrid sprogs, off trots the one manning the till to pull the ice creams, leaving everyone else standing there like tits. And then the next fucker asks for cones too :mad:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/uk-en...yside-34619327
Why is this a thing? What can possibly happen at a fucking funeral that warrants a live text updates feed?
It's a substitute for actual journalism.
My friend's [Facebook] friend was live-Facebooking their dad croaking in hospital the other week.
I'm surprised that Liverpool could live feed a funeral.
One of the guys I work with sometimes makes stuff up just to see if people will believe what he says. So last week he told me we were meant to be dressing up as the T Birds from Grease and I thought he was bullshitting me. Turns out it's true.
:moop:
I wouldn't have joined in even if it were true so you're fighting the good fight.
Fancy dress really is absolute dirt.
I've done it only once, for a Halloween party in my first year at uni. I only did it because I wanted to fuck the girl who was hosting the party.
She copped off with somebody else and me and my mate met some Finnish blokes on our walk home, got talking and went to their flat to drink horrific home brew. That ended in my first ever two day hangover.
People who dither when they walk.
It's going to look shit anyway. We're just going to be wearing t-shirts and jeans (fuck the leather jackets, it's far too warm in the bar for that) with slicked-back hair so it'll just look a bit silly.
So Christmas is booked, £115 for three, one of whom probably won't like what's there. Absolutely unreal waste of money, spent with a bunch of cunts. How's that for all you swellheads who moan about going to family barbecues etc?
Opened a pack of love-hearts (yep) to find one emblazoned with 'YOLO'.
You fucking what?
Brilliant, now the stupid cunt wife asked me to order something because she wasn't sure it went through on her phone, so I did. Went to check my confirmation email and found two, one from earlier, as the stupid bitch obviously did put it through. I wasn't notified because my stupid fucking Moto E can't get emails because it's fucking full despite having fuck all on it.
Fucking what a shite, SHITE day.
Love-hearts in November, what a pervert.
Must have thought you were wearing a mask.
:baz:
Also, and it's a bit of a slow-burner this, but this fucking Vanish Tip Exchange adverts fuck me right off.
Just got a text to say my new glasses won't be ready to pick up until Friday now. For €340 they could get a fucking move-on.
My toilet seat won't stay up.
Daylight Savings Time. Suddenly it's dark at 6:00 PM, and light by 7:00 AM. Nobody gives a fuck if it's light in the morning but now the whole evening is dark for half the year. :(
Daylight savings time just ended, so the one that fucks you off is the 'regular' time. I agree though, it was already pitch dark when I left the lab and bright at 6am when I don't give a fuck.
I'd normally be in the same boat, but I'm often getting up at 6.30am for work at the moment and it's definitely preferable having some sunlight for the drive up than the one home.
It will soon be dark for both journeys. That's when all the positivity will be drained out of me. I hate it. Only snow will cheer me up at that time of the year.
Snow and boxes of chocolate during Christmas periods.
And wanking.
See, I fucking love it when the mornings and nights black up. That lingering fog yesterday as well; we were completely closed in all day. :drool:
Finding out that I actually have 10 days fewer than I thought with my next assignment :(
People at work who call your mobile on one number, but leave a message for you to call them back on another number.
What the fuck is that all about?
The 'most viewed/favourited/commented' bits on porn sites (proper ones, not lol ones like redtube etc)
It's nearly all incest/scat/tranny. Guess people are morbid fuckers.
Who's commenting on porn videos is a question I always find myself wondering, just what's the point in commenting something about the way her tits bounce?
I love porn comments. They're hilarious.
I only look at it for the comments . . .
This is pretty mega: http://pornhubcommentsonstockphotos.tumblr.com
I'll have a browse of some Motherless comments tonight, though that'll involve some pretty tasty URLs.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/207090a4e...o07o1_1280.png
Fucking hell :D
Fireworks. What a bucket of bollocks. Just fuck off, you twats.
Fair play to John Lewis, it seems some people get genuinely excited about their Christmas adverts before they even air now. They've got some countdown sort of thing going and it'll apparently 'launch' tomorrow, which seems to have various people who should really have more self-respect pissing themselves in anticipation.
Is Taz one of them? He liked a good John Lewis advert, rather bizarrely.
When someone pays you cash and the notes are upside down and/or back to front so I have to sit there getting them all into order and making sure they are face up. :mad:
Thankfully I don't work in retail otherwise I think this sort of behaviour, on a daily basis, would send me over the edge.
What jobs do you do that are cash in hand? I hope you'll be paying your necessary taxes.
:sherlock:
Why do they have to be face up? I've never heard anybody mention that before.
What fucks you off is your ocd then.
Nothing shady going on here! They pay the company, but that goes through me. It's not my personal money.
I've never thought of it as OCD. Is having all your notes up the right way not the norm?
Everyone has their notes face up in their wallet, surely?
What is fucking me off today is the relentless noise of the bastard wind. It's bad enough that it nearly takes the car door every time you open it, but the fact you can't even sit inside and pretend it's not there is seriously annoying.
Not me. What difference does it make?
I just put my notes in my wallet, couldn't care less what way they're facing. I definitely find it weird that you do.
Another one to add to the TTH Mentalist list.
I have my notes the right way up in my wallet, ordered from back-to-front in descending value :nodd:
I bet you eat burgers with a spoon as well, you fuckers.
Isn't having money in vaguely the right order in your wallet just a function of the way you get it out of a machine?
Being woken up by cramp.
I have sort of lost my wallet in my house. This is annoying.
One day people will realise what a visionary I was never having a wallet.
Sooner the better all this phone NFC stuff comes out properly and I can have my ATM card and fuel card on there and carry nothing else.
I can pay for stuff with my phone already. It's pretty neat.
There are some NFC cashpoints I've seen but they're not very widespread. Would seal the deal really.
I used to when I had been running and then drinking the same night. Dehydration gave me horrible hamstring cramps.
I've been awakened with it in my calf. It's hard to describe how sore it is, feels like the muscle is about to explode. Still feel it for a couple of days after.
I've woken up a few times with cramp. It usually ends up in me limping around the room screaming like a madman, terrifying my wife.
Could be worse, she could be waking up to you shitting in a magazine.
A night on the stout will normally have me waking with cramps. Doesn't happen with other drink though strangely enough.
It's fucking awful.
You wake up screaming (or fighting to hold it back) and the muscle feels like it's being torn out of your leg.
I get that occasionally. Basically the worst pain imaginable.
I absolutely love the feeling before cramp sets in, where your muscles are just wiggling about.
It's a risk obviously, but I often try and induce cramp in my thighs for that feeling. Then stretch it out at the last second. :drool:
Pervert
Actually just fucking lol @ that post. Inducing cramp. What the fuck?
:D
You're a fucking deviant, Foe.
That's the sort of thing you do with a ball strapped in your mouth.
Or dressed up as a My Little Pony.
I farted a good 40 minutes ago and my room still smells of it.
You probably shit yourself
I can't be the only one.
But at the same time
I don't want to end up in some weirdo club like hammer joined.
That's a really shit poem mate.
:D I'd rep you @Toby if I wasn't on mobile.
This probably say's more about where I live but the amount of time I see (young) parents with their child and have both headphones in.
On the flip side working in pubs/restaurants the amount of teenage kids I used to see out on a family meal with headphones in completely ignoring everyone.
Possibly the wrong thread, but:
We had a new fire fitted today, and I was interrogating the gas expert man on the state of our seethe-inducingly shit boiler that has been producing intermittent hot water for a year now. He had previously told my mother that the only way to fix it was to spend a billion quid on a new boiler, and she doesn't have a billion quid, but my eye-balling revealed that you can have all the pipes de-shitted as a 'short-term fix' for a closer to a hundred quid.
'We've had that boiler about eight years, so even if the "short-term fix" lasts two years...'
Then he started giving me the professional advice bit, and my mother also told me to give it a rest because they're professional gas exxperts. Whatever mate. I'm off to the gym where the showers work properly. I then come home and my mother is having a MELTDOWN on the phone because the fire isn't working. :harold:
A fire?
How can a fire not work? You put wood in it and it burns.
A gas fire.
Yeah, the 'gas expert man' was there fitting a woodburning fire, you fucking mongs.
We've disconnected our gas fire because it's a fucking bomb scare. Lol @ actively buying a new one.
Given the post is full of references to 'gas experts' I'm going to have a wild stab at it being a gas fuelled fire.
Molton and Pep firmly on the ropes here.
It's heartening that 4 sarky comments appeared within 2 minutes, I like that response time.
I don't get you Brits and your gas heating. It costs a fortune (in relative terms to what I pay back home) and doesn't seem very efficient.
It's far more efficient than electric/storage heating.
When you say 'getting a new fire fitted' what exactly are you talking about? A furnace? A boiler? A burner? I'm not confused about the fuel used, but I am not sure how one fits 'a fire'.
EDIT: It's a fireplace you're talking about, isn't it?
Do you think the SS had gas engineers?
In the last 12 months I've gone from being flawless in the head hair department, to a bit of an embarrassment. It's all happened so fast and I'm terrified to find what 2016 has in store for me.
I blame London.
Mate. What has happened?
Go full combover.
I'm still safe on top for now, but I'm receding at the sides like a mother lover. It's a rapid decline, absolute shambles. I'm seething about it to be honest.
The baldest lad I know started growing it back when his black wife was away for a few months, but when she came back it just evaporated. It might be worth cutting down on the soul food and avoiding high-sass situations.
I'm also going grey. Is that normal at this age or am I dying or something?
Again I blame London.
Greying here too, have been for ages, mainly at the sides in a reasonably distinguished fashion rather than going full Schofield.
I've lost the front since 24 but its held steady enough not to go full chrome. Been greying at the sides for the last year. You don't notice it much til I grow it out a bit. I'm not fussed about it.
When people have to swim through countless loyalty or points cards to get about 0.0003p worth of points. Its fucking pathetic and you look like a cunt.
Let's see a pic sama.
My year is Shetland destroyed my hair. It was never good before but it rapidly declined whilst I was away.
One of the many reasons of seethe I have towards that year in my
Life.
Uncle Phil might be easier.
How the BBC doesn't feel the need to differentiate women's sport from men's sport on their website.
Just saw a story of Dowie being loaned from Liverpool to Melbourne. Instead of giving me that half second of what the fuck is Iain Dowie doing just tag it with 'women's football' and I can continue to not give a shit.
You mean the accompanying pictures didn't give it away?
She does look like a manly rug muncher to be fair.
My mother's done her back in (I don't know how, she doesn't do anything). She can hardly get out of bed at the minute and I basically feel like I need to stay at home and do shit around the house. This is like a glimpse into my worst nightmare which is if my dad kicks the bucket first out of the two of them and I have to stay here/move back to look after her because she's seemingly useless.
Being an only child is such a fucking burden. Why can't I have brothers or sisters to deal with this shit?
I bet she's a fat mess.
Not fat really, no.
At least my parents are still together.
On a disturbing side note, I just watched a bit of the Yusaf Mack vid that's been released (he claimed he wasn't gay and he was drugged on the set of this gay porn film :D). It started off with the news story so I continued on thinking it would just be descriptive and it cut to him ramming two giant black cocks down his throat.
He's married and fathers TEN kids. LOL.
Anyway now I can't get that image out of my head.
Happy, but also gravely disappointed.
I'm sure the better step-children more than make up for that. :(
*watches more gay porn videos*
Still not found your da?
I'm just away to meet him for lunch, actually. We'll be discussing such things as:
Why don't you love me?
Why did you leave us?
Why did you tell us you paid child support when you didn't?
Why Dad? WHY?
Over a nice latte and soup/sandwich deal.
My Mum told me she's planning on spending my inheritance so we'll probably be equally loaded.
My dad's wealth will go entirely to my little brother and sister, until they hit 18 then it'll be divided by 7. Gotta hope the old cunt hangs on for 6 more years.
My mum's will probably be divided by 5.
In short, they don't have much wealth but now it'll be even worse thanks to all my step and half siblings. I may kill them all.
I'll never get any inheritance. :(
I'm intrigued by my future inheritance from my parents, my older brother is a complete idiot so will be interesting to see what he gets compared to myself and my younger brother.
Surely leaving more to certain children would be a recipe for total disaster. Unless by 'complete idiot' you mean he's doing a stretch for murder or something.
As the eldest I would assume he gets the lot.
Don't think there'll be anything of note for me. Miss Byron will have the mother of court battles. Large extended family, greedy and with a wealthy dad, who clearly favours Miss Byron and her sister above the rest.
He's not in jail or anything, but any potential money/house that is left in his name would be spent on alcohol, it would be wasted. Pretty sure my dad 'confessed' to me that he and my mum have already put things in place that if anything bad were to happen to them both then it's all left basically to me to figure out, rather than shared equally.
He sounds like a decent laugh, which is more than can be said for his attention seeking emo brother. They probably think you'll off yourself if you don't get a bigger share.
He's a cunt so no surprise you like the sound of him, you fat faced prick.
:D
Never change.
Not sure whether donning or seething. It's a thin line.
My best bet for inheritance is probably my brother seething himself to death in the near future. I could start a thread about my attempts to keep his activities going.
Go on then.
I get a pool table.
I'm just waiting for Lauren's mum and dad to die. Although, my dad mentioned to me yesterday that him and mum might by their housing association house so I might be in for a bonanza I'd long accepted would never come. I'd rather have an alive mum and dad but every cloud.....
There are one or two seriously rich fuckers on the fringes of my extended family but there's no way I'm going to inherit from them and retire to the Bahamas. Unless I go all Ascoyne D'Ascoyne on about 20 people first.
I've posted before about the money we're getting from my academic dons of grandparents. It's a second marriage for both of them (grandpa and step-grandma) and they both have kids from the previous marriage, but she only has two kids while he has four, so her two kids get twice the share that my dad and his siblings get. Not that I'm in a position to complain but it seems a bit shit.
From my father I got three fake Rolex (Rolexes? I don't wear a watch), two pairs of real Ray Bans (I don't wear sunglasses), a few fake Picasso/Degas/Velasco drawings (which are ace to be fair) and a thirty year old car (which I gave to my cousin because she needed it more than me). From my mom I will get fuck all, what with her living in a beachfront building/hotel with three pools, gym, restaurant, volleyball court, who knows what else right in the middle of South Beach despite being a store clerk. As for my sister, she is so in debt that I've had to bail her out twice already. My family. :cool:
Sounds like most family's Pepe, fucked up. I'm probably due an okay inheritance around 150k, but my brother (that I've never met) is ready and willing to contest the family will because fuck all will be going to him. I doubt he realistically has the cash to actually contest but ultimately it's a bridge I will cross at the time and not something I want to consider at the moment.
My parents are/were actually not fucked up at all, both quite excellent people, just a bit poor that's all. My sister is a bit of a waster but not too bad either.
That's why we move to the US of A to take what's theirs.
Hows that working out for you? Good burrito sales recently?
Too much work, rather get a handout.
Typical muslim. Viva la france.
Top banter, lads.
:D Boyd the carer is going to he hilarious.
Get up off the floor you lazy bitch.
I didn't actually say that to her. I just thought it quietly to myself then posted it on here.
My Grandad has been upto some proper weird shit lately.
Firstly, he's not a well man. He's had a few strokes and mini-strokes, he has prostate cancer which the doctors have said doesn't even matter as it's basically 'dormant' and he apparently has been diagnosed with the early stages of dementia. Add to that he's a proper Don Draper style pisshead and it's easy to conclude that he probably doesn't have too long left.
Anyway, he crashed his car last weekend. Why he was still driving in the state that he is I'll never know, but there we go. He's driving along a straight country road and has steadily veered right until he's sideways on in the middle of this dyke. No idea how he's managed it but we reckon he's either fallen to sleep or had another one of those mini-strokes. Anyway, he was pretty shook up and finally admitted that he shouldn't be driving anymore and that he'll take the bus from now on in. My parents are relieved as that's the most sensible thing he's come out with in ages and all is well.
That is until this Monday when he's collapsed on the side of a main A road not far away from his house. Turns out what he's done is missed his bus to go to the shops (they come every half an hour) and instead of waiting for the next one, he's inexplicably decided to walk the 9 miles to where he's going instead. There isn't even any footpath down this road, he was literally walking next to all of the traffic.
He used to be a navigator in the RAF and then was an air traffic controller until he retired. He was an incredibly intelligent man and he still shows that from time to time. Sit him down in front of an episode of Eggheads and he'll pull answers out of his arse right, left and centre like it's nothing. I think that's why we're all finding it so bewildering when he pulls this sort of shit. It's like half the time he's there and functioning as normal and then the rest of the time he's just going around being a lunatic.
Fuck getting old, basically.
I bet that dyke took some calming down.
Boydy is such a heartless cretin.
He took his mum to the doctor. What's he done wrong exactly?
@simon :( I feel ya man.
Got a bunch of people round to our apartment to watch a film. Flatmate thought it'd be cool to do every couple of weeks and it's been nice actually. Come home from football, have a shower and they're usually just about to start it. Anyway, the film finishes and I go to turn it off and the bloke next to me suggests that it's more respectful to those who made the film if we at least watch to the end of the credits.
Wtf :face:
Maintain eye contact, turn off anyway.
They put their heart and soul into those credits, man. Show some respect.
My grandpa's in a bad state, too, Simon. Recently broke his leg and has been stuck in nursing homes since then, and will probably have to stay in one indefinitely unless we get 24-hour home care (which is expensive as shit). The whole situation is a huge, Kafkaesque nightmare. He'd lived in the same house for 45 years so it's depressing that he won't be there anymore. Shit's rough.
Grandparents getting old is always a shitter, my nan turns 90 on Sunday and both her hands have become very shaky now. My birthday card last week looked like a lie detector test result.
My grandma doesn't even know who I am anymore.
Alzheimer's itself is alright as I just sit and chat to her and she's comfortable more or less at peace with herself, which is the main thing. I think the worst thing is probably that I find it hard nowadays to remember what she was like before she got it.
My grandad used to switch between thinking I was my uncle and someone he'd met in (the) Sudan in the 1940's.
He would never talk about his war experiences normally but when the dementia got worse he would tell mental stories about trying to escape from the Japanese. I didn't really believe them but you don't call out a rambling 92 year old who built a railway with his bare hands.
Turns out they were all true and he really did steal boats and trek the length of several shitty jungle islands only to miss the last allied ship and get scooped up by the Japanese. :|
Yeah, I reckon the same could end up happening with mine. It could end up being a nice thing to be fair, as my Gran (his wife) is in a home already because of her dementia and that's had an absolutely massive impact on him over the last couple of years. Understandably so, of course.
I'm off in to check on him later on. I've been given a wacking great 'check-list' by my Mum as she was round there last night and is seriously worried that he's not even eating anything until somebody comes round to do it for him.
I'm sat on the toilet with awful unexpected diarrhoea. Pretty sure I cooked my chicken properly earlier. If not this might be it lads. If I don't post for an extended period I've died in my own filth. Lauren has discovered my shitty body upon arrival back from work at about 2.20 tomorrow morning. Spare a thought.
The final detox from the good diet. You'll feel brand new tomorrow.
I've found it hard to shit since I changed my diet, presumably the latter being responsible for the former; is this just my body righting itself? It had better fucking hurry up if so.
Is Lozza in the NHS too?
Sort of. She works at McDonald's so she's providing some of my best customers.
Well...that's a revelation.
I've metioned it on here a few times over the years. Job's a job.
I thought she'd be a good looking, successful independent woman to treat you with such disdain.
She is studying though isnt she?
She's good looking. She let's me do what I want so I'm doing okay.
She isn't studying any more, she got her degree. She's just happy enough picking up a tenner an hour to clock in and clock out. Fair enough really, she doesn't put herself under the stress I do for the sake of work.
Does her sex lack similar ambition?
Sex?
:cool:
I hope she never finds here and puts 'Lauren' into the search engine. Or maybe her actual name is Pauline, or Wendy.
She knows all about this place. If she was ever bothered enough to check I'd be fucked.
My cousin has ditched her gay three year old with us for the day, and it just doesn't shut up ever. I'm going to batter him.
Just mistakenly asked for a Merlot in an Italian restaurant. The cunt looked at me like I'd just fingered his preteen daughter. Italian cunt.
What? You get Italian Merlot.
.....
Don't think I've ever come across Italian Merlot. (Not saying there isn't any, but they must be rare)
I ordered a couple of those 'A Very Short Introduction' books from some bookshop off Abe Books. They turned up today. One of them is one that came free with The Time Higher Education Supplement (it says on the front) and uses shittier quality paper (including for the cover).
I've backed into a car half an hour ago, as I was reversing to leave my parking spot. Didn't see it in my mirror. It was only a small dent but still, fuck's sake.
Did you leg it?
Nah, I'm not a twat (Christmas trees aside, thanks Pepe). It was a mom and her kid. Dreading that phone call now, if we use insurance our rates will skyrocket so we'll probably have to pay out of pocket. Time to get that pizza man job I think.
In fairness we used it six months ago when I got in an even more pointless yet costly accident (zoned out at a stop, took my foot off the brake, rolled into the car ahead at 5mph, $3000 of damage to our own car somehow).
:D
Mong.
You're a hazard. :harold:
I crashed my first time taking the car out in Mexico City. Was fifteen at the time and went to a bar with some friends. When we left I crashed into the back of another car. We tried to escape but failed miserably due to traffic. After that I didn't crash again for a few years. Haven't been in a car accident in over ten years now. :cool:
Mechanics are even bigger crooks than insurance companies in this country so I am not surprised.
In fairness to me, about two years ago my dad did the exact same thing that I did tonight, in the exact same location. You can't escape your DNA.
I've always wondered who crashes in the US, since everyone seems to drive so politely. Now I know.
EDIT: Did a hundred cops show up to THE SCENE?
What sort of rises are you subject to if you have an accident?
We had somebody go into the back of us at a junction a while back too. I was really surprised by the impact of it even at just that edging out sort of speed. I think if my car hadn't had a superfluous tow bar to get buckled in it might have done some notable damage.
Had you been drinking?
Trying to find something cheap and shit you need on Amazon to make up the £20 you need for free delivery. :moop:
I've just bought a Kindle, that should do it. What's this 'special offers' shite that reduces cost by a tenner?
Sponsored screensavers and offers from Kindle.
Like this:
http://pickmyreader.com/wp-content/u...ial-Offers.jpg
That ad might give your wife ideas though...
Wow, why would anyone pay a tenner to opt out of that?
Does anyone else hate Christmas jumpers? I don't hate Christmas, I actually quite like it and I don't even hate the jumpers themselves but more how they've been turned into a kind of BANTER LAD accessory rather than just being the naff jumpers they used to be.
I don't hate them or even really think about them but yes, there's definitely a fad propagated by arseholes.
I don't think about them much either, it was just because I was browsing the sales on a clothes website and saw some.
We should have quietly organised a sweepstake on who would be the first to mention them sincerely, although I guess everybody would have just bet on Foe.
Something else that fucks me off is when you post something in here (it was originally 'the little things in life that fuck you off', remember) and some knobhead goes 'Oh, I don't hate that, it's too small and inconsequential to hate, I don't even think about it.'
STFU.
Don't be that guy.
Yeah, I'm not a massive fan since they have become 'a thing'. It's a bit "look how zany I am!" which is never a good thing. That said, I do have a Christmas T-Shirt this year (I didn't buy it) in the oeuvre of Home Alone (Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal).
Yeah but I was only asking for people that agree with me.
Well that sort of behaviour is a little thing that fucks me off, I guess.
Thanks, Giggles. Googling that led to me reading this:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-30539356
Is that written by Fry? :sick:
I actually never realised it was an Irish only thing. It's those absolute wanker 'goys' rigger bigger shower that usually partake, normally boxing heads or puking by pub 6.
Places are copping on though at least.
"Oh yes, we have to have rules - for the banter, for the craic."
Not heard of that before.
Top banter.Quote:
Rules? "Oh yes, we have to have rules - for the banter, for the craic."
A quick search online brings some up:
Left-handed pub - drink only with your left hand
No swearing pub - no swearing
Silent pub - no speaking
Swapsies pub - swap shoes with someone in your group
Yeah, yeah, yeah, rugby lads are wankers and banter is for arseholes. We know that. But people who write like this are worse:
Quote:
But suddenly, a hollering collection of young yahoos in garish Christmas jumpers adorned with flashing lights descends and I am abruptly jolted out of my reverie.
What on earth are they doing in what is affectionately known as an old man's pub, bereft of loud muzak, glassy fixtures, and wall-to-wall TVs? Their presence jars insanely with the aged, nicotine-consecrated walls I love so well.
Just fucking :face:
You wouldn't believe the amount of people avoid places in Dublin, or going out in the city completely, around Christmas because of it.
I really enjoyed pub culture in Dublin I mist admit. Ended up meeting more people in one night than I have here in a year.
That guy can sure use a thesaurus. :cool:
Christmas jumpers. :drool:
I don't own one, but if you've worked in an office Christmas Jumper day really is a joy to behold. Makes everything feel so festive. Productivity plummets too.
Miserable cunts you lot are.
Does it make it harder to plug all those cables in/out though?
Alright Harold, it was just an excuse to have a dig, no need to go all pedants corner. I was hoping you'd claim you were a proper engineer again, but this works fine too.
Stating facts isn't claiming.
He's back!
They're doing some kind of dress-down day at work in a few weeks where people are meant to wear Christmas jumpers for charity, in the realms of IT that's very much dressing up.
I normally make sure I've finished for the year before the token christmas stuff happens. I think I've seen the work christmas tree once in 8 years.
Don't poke fun at me then liken me to Bish. :(
I was at this pub called The Trinity on Dame St. Good place.
Yeah I was staying up the road at The Westinn and needed somewhere to watch the football on boxing day. Couldn't find anywhere for love nor money until we stumbled on that place. I think I might go back sometime soon actually. Good Christmas place for sure.
Just remembered something I hate - quidditch. What a stupid, inherently flawed sport - 150 points for the golden snitch? Why do the chasers even bother? 'Oh, but what about when Krum caught the blah blah and the Irish still won waaa waaa' nah fuck off, Krum's a twat. Probably got paid off by the crooked IQA. I heard a theory that JKR did it on purpose to annoy people like me, in which case...fair play.
Yeah I've always found it a flawed game for the same reason.
I quite like the twitter account but that's too far.
I don't like get in the sea anymore either. I think it is a case of, well, to paraphrase Shakespeare or someone, 'first they came for the topknots, and I did not speak out - because I did not have a topknot, blah blah, and then they had a go at something I liked and I got pissed off'.
What's Get In The Sea?
:dirk:
I did just read the word 'spunktrumpets' though so it's not all bad.
Forgetting which card number is mine and accidentally ordering a takeaway on the work credit card. :moop:
We've had a 'year group' Christmas dinner every year since we all started in purgatory and a decision was taken that we'd wear Christmas jumpers at one of them. I could have refused to participate on point of principle, but why would you be that much of a wanker over trivia.
Good point, Adolf Eichmann.
I've just been furiously trying to get the wrong size bulb into a light fitting.
Wow, just seen on FB a friend of a friend who is smoking hot is actually a lesbian and she's gotten engaged. Finally, a hot lesbian couple. Erm, no. She's with a chubby 3/10. :sick:
What is wrong with the world.
There's a lass I used to work with who had some good taste in woman. Then she ruined it by getting engaged to a 15 year-old.
Oh...oh it's a joke apparently.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Stupid fucking bitches.
My mate's first long term girlfriend broke up with him and became a lesbian. His second long term girlfriend broke up with him, revealed she was bi, and slept with the first one. Oof.
Both. And he's fine, it was years ago. He saw the funny side pretty quickly.
I saw the erotic side.
One of my lesbian (fb) friend's new girlfriend is :drool:worthy.
Speaking of which, my fb perving material has decreased considerably in the past few years. I guess women are wising up. :(
Fuuuu.
It did that for me yesterday because Spurs were playing Chelsea.
I've already written to Google complaining that their Loch Ness monster isn't depicted as pro-SNP.
I've just found some of those little rubber 3G balls in my fucking fridge. How is that even possible?
Some what?
The little rubber balls you get on 3G astro-turf pitches.
Well there you go, never knew that existed, I've only ever used the sandy ones.
The get everywhere. It's ridiculous.
It's definitely winter now, lads. I don't normally mind it but I've been fucking freezing the past couple of days. Maybe I'm getting old, but it makes me wish humans were hibernators.
Looks like someone's going to bottle the work do after picking what they want from the menu and then giving us the silent treatment. Something she also did last year. Poor form to not say you're not interested.
Work dos fuck me off. Korean ones are obviously worse as they can handle very little alcohol. It ends up as a constant stream of bullshit toasts to different people in exactly the same three syllable chant format: name-name-name, name-name-name and then a complimentary three syllable adjective about the person. The whole thing is preceded by a declaration that it's time for '*name* Club!'
Last time my adjective was 'smart', which they had absolutely no qualms making into three syllables.
Some of the other ones were lol, 'handsome man' probably the outright winner.
It's actually warming up as a warm front from southern Europe reaches us. Will bring wet and windy weather though.
The meteorologists only use these dates because it's convenient to collect data for full calendar months though. 'Meteorological winter' is bollocks in reality. Proper winter starts at the solstice and ends at spring equinox.
All about the position of the Earth relative to the sun. December is typically autumnal in terms of actual weather. Loads of wind and rain.
It's been windy and rainy for the past couple of weeks here. Today is flat calm but freezing. I had to take the kettle to the windscreen before I could drive this morning.
Equinox? What are you, a fucking Aztec or some shit? Fuck off.
Pouring boiling hot water on to frozen glass, what could go wrong!
A lot, which is why I boiled it before I went in the shower and poured it on lukewarm.
Should have boiled yer heed.
Go have a wank and come back when you've settled down a bit, you pleb.
Though one would imagine you'd use up quite a lot of electricity to get enough boiling water.
http://rainbowdash.net/file/anarchyc...11-63gwslk.gif
Speaking of Christmas Jumpers:
https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net...cf&oe=56EF94B6
Hate working from home in the winter. Off to Sainsburys to mooch around and use some of their heating.
It's meteorological winter, you dolt, you should have been better prepared.
You can't prepare for it really. I did think about getting fingerless gloves but they don't help that much apparently.
Shop workers faced with a customer buying fingerless gloves should really just treat it as a cry of "will you please end my misery now".
My ex-boss used to wear them, he had arthritis in his hands though so he was knuckleless. Also had a ponytail too. Nailed on paedo.
I wear fingerless gloves. Crochet ones no less.
Was going to order something online last night but their website was unbelievably slow so I went to bed. Now it's out of stock. :panda:
Fucking lol. I've just spent the past 30 minutes trying to get my old photos off Bebo only to find out that it's been dead in the water since October, according to Twitter (I'm just going off tweets to their support, to which there were no replies).
Fuck my life.
5 seconds of googling:
https://www.bebo.com/faq (from 31st Jan, apparently)
Hmm maybe that's old.
Yeah 2014, you smart alec potato picking cunt.
Bowling.
Had 3 games today (120, 125 and then a shocking 81) and my thumb is in absolute agony.
Nudity logic. This thought was triggered by seeing this ridiculous Mail 'story' about Madonna in which they've found some nude pictures of her from 30+ years ago. Not particularly interesting unless historical based wanking is your thing but anyway, what is the problem we have with women's nipples? They look exactly the same as men's nipples, which are seen all the time, and their only extra function is to provide life-giving milk to newborns, a glorious thing. See the below in-no-way-safe-for-work example:
Toggle Spoiler
So every other millimetre of her flesh has been printed and yet somehow a tiny black box over a nipple has preserved her modesty? I don't think so.
Meanwhile this picture, where you can see her arse - which is what poo comes out of - and there is no black box.
Toggle Spoiler
I must have missed something somewhere along the way.
I reckon her actual arsehole would have been blacked out.
Its stupid though, I agree.
One of my neighbours is mowing his lawn right now. At dark. With someone holding a fucking torch for him.
Fucking bellend.
That's the behaviour of a psychopath. You're probably not safe.
I'd let her go.
Surely 'at night' or 'in the dark', or this some regional thing?
lol at 'At dark'.
I never noticed that. The northies have some strange ones, but 'at dark' is just plain wrong.
'at dark' is common here.
He used to do it about every other day in the summer, I think. His annoying noisy kids play on it so maybe he thinks he's the groundsman for their tiny little football pitch or something.
I went to the Leeds sexual health clinic a few weeks ago to get tested and came out fine, but they said to come back around now for another blood test, and in the interim period between then and now they've fucking moved right next to my bastarding workplace. What's more, its in a shopping centre where any fucker over 6 foot can see straight over the translucent glass and into the waiting room. I don't need this shit.
How convenient.
I'll tell you all what fucks me off. Working my cunt off on something only to be told the remuneration is now in exposure not in cash, as verbally agreed on the contract that doesn't exist. More pissed at my own gullibility than at the cuntwinging git.
Hammer, just tell all your workmates you are worried you might have caught aids off a vicious one night stand. That way you can all celebrate when you get the all clear and folk will pray for you online until then. Don't be in fear, own it.
Own it :cool:
The main problem there is that the lass I'm seeing at the moment is someone I work with, so I'm a bit wary of any word getting out about anything.
Last person who said they'd pay me in exposure lead to me agreeing to do the work and saying I'd do it right up until the day he had to present to his client and then ignored him until he sent me a message saying how much this would cost me. I told him I'd saved myself about 500 quid of my time by not doing anything.
If I'm reading it right his opening gambit was Yes, I'll take the work which seems an ok strategy to me.
I find in the creative industries there is an element of "prove yourself" to get a foot in the door. Iv'e no problem with that. I'll be doing that for a while still. However, agreeing to pay someone then coming the cunt the day of remuneration is a whole different ball game. Again though, partly my own fault for not having anything in writing.
I'll gig for free more often than I will do paid for the foreseeable future. That's me earning my stripes and is long established as the norm in my industry.
Must be a pain in the arse for those in others though. I at least know if I do well I'll eventually progress regardless.
Funny one ennit. On one hand I get the viewpoint that it is pretty gross how certain industries have normalised working for free and made people just be grateful for an 'opportunity'. I'm all ready to go down to the picket lines and sing the Internationale, but then I think of all the people I know from school and uni who are starting out in stand-up and 'the media' and remember how shite they are and I'm glad they're getting fuck all. Probably lean towards the former though.
Went out last night and "took it easy." This means I had four pints of bitter shandy rather than proper pints, and three pints of real ale, although one of them was 6.8% cos my mates a jeb. Oh and one of the shandy's was 50% bitter, 25% lemonade and 25% lager, which I didn't realise until it had gone. I didn't have shots though even though the others did - even sat out of the tasting sesh of D-Beck's whiskey. :stamford:
Woke up this morning feeling alright, but then spewed up twice, and had a 40 minute dentist appointment at 10:15 for a filling. Was a bad time.
Only saving grace was the fat dental nurse whose only job is to hoover my gums, had a fit face, so inbetween closing my eyes and pretending I was in bed I just stared her out. £75 and all; what a bad day.
I drank too much coffee today and now I can't sleep.
A dickhead on Facebook posting a picture of a few bottles of beer and writing this:
#working #weekend #nightin with a #few #bottles #almost #xmas
Fuck off mate.
At least you posted it here, mate.
The price of board games. Frustration is £12. £12! Pop up pirate is £10. SnL is £12. Problem with buying them second hand is missing parts.
In my break in work and someone else in the break room is watching the fucking apprentice on their phone. Fuck off.
Have you not seen it or is it just that they haven't got headphones?
I fucking hate it. And they haven't got headphones. I wanted peace and quiet on my break as the bar's really busy. Ourside having a smoke now though so I don't have to listen to that shite any more.
Not using headphones is an offence worth a beating.
They're repaving the side of my street where my house is so I have to double-back on myself every day of my life til this is over.
Emails from the national lottery with news about your ticket that turns out to be £3.30.
Fuck off making me excited unless it's six figures. Bastards.
Okay, I'm not entirely sure if this is something I should be annoyed by or if it's my problem - thought I'd seek the counsel of you lot.
With very occasional exceptions, I'm happy to introduce any of my mates to any of my other mates. If I have something fun going on in Edinburgh that I think friends from home would enjoy, I'd invite the fuckers. Why not? But one of my closest and oldest mates, one of the friends I'm constantly introducing to other people, is the opposite. He has an established group of friends in Manchester, but I've barely ever met them.
Once I got really drunk and confronted him about it - I asked why he never invites me up to do stuff in Manchester, and especially highlighted the fact I was having a really bollocks time in my shit provincial home town at that point, and that I never had anything to do. He just said that he likes to keep his groups of friends separate, that he felt awkward introducing home friends to uni friends.
I think this would be fair enough if we weren't that close, or if I was the same with my mates, but the fact that he's happy to join in the festivities whenever I'm organising stuff, and even asked if he could crash at my (and my mum's) house on Christmas eve night less than five minutes after he awkwardly said he was going to some big rave tonight that he'd not invited me to...I dunno. It feels like the line between 'well, that's his prerogative, fair play' and just being a shit mate has been crossed.
Thoughts?
You're being a woman.
Probz the pithy advice I needed. I dunno, writing it all out like that does give the impression I'm being a big girl about it, but I'm not losing sleep over it or owt. Maybe I should re-write it into 'my mate is a weirdo about his friends mixing, is he being a dickhead, a bit autistic or am I just overreacting?' Wouldn't it fuck you off if you kept inviting your mate to stuff and he never invited you?
Not in the circumstance you're describing. Me and my main group of mates all have their own separate groups they do stuff with. The only time they ever mix is stag dos and weddings.
Just stop inviting him. It's a bit petty, but if it's annoying you that he doesn't reciprocate then it's about all you can do. Moaning that he never invites you out with his mates make you sound like you think of yourself as his girlfriend or something.
Good advice from both of you. I think I need to accept that my weird obsession with integrating all my mates makes me unusual, rather than him for not. I guess he never asked me to involve him in my Gorgie adventures.
I just want the World to be more connected, like Zuckerberg. :(
And I'm probably just bitter that he's going to Warehouse project and I'm not, lol.
I didn't know it meant that much to you. I'll introduce you to my mates.
I don't fuck with fake drawers. If you want to preserve an aura of symmetry everywhere you go then build drawers for Taoist monasteries. just remember that every time i'm looking for something and I try to open one of the 14 fake drawers in my vicinity i am driven to sin
Other people's friends are generally god awful anyway.
There was that thread about it on the old TTH that Lewis linked the other day. RL made the correct point that if you meet your friends' friend and you like them, they just become your friend, so the friends of your friends will tend to be people you don't like.
That's the beauty of the theory. It's completely water-tight. That said, all of my friends' other friends (that I've met) are shit.
Yeah it is a good theory. Actually, most of my best mates are people who were previously friends of friends, and generally the initial mutual friends are out of the picture on both sides. Stealing friends :cool:
Though it isn't exactly a mind-blowing theory - that's just how people make friends.
I like your beard, it's very hipster.
Fuck you.
I really wanted to just shave it off when someone said that today, it's not a fucking compliment.
At what level is your beard at, Mahow?
An Asian fellow in work asked if mine was for religious beliefs. Definitely needs a trim.
About the same as the mugshot I posted on the old board in the summer.
Foolishly I decided to trim it using clippers about 3/4 months ago thinking that on the highest setting I would be left with a nice amount. I was wrong, so I'm pretty much back at what I was perhaps a touch longer.
I'd say about 4 inches.
Is the lady in your life satisfied with it?
If I had a lady in my life I'd make sure she had a beard fetish.
It's great for tickling the anus when you go downtown.
I'm too cack-handed to trim mine without immediately fucking it up, so I just get the barber to do it.
Are ye fellas going natural or using any grooming gadgets? I bought a balm I'm yet to try. I've been told it's an improvement upon the oil I was buying.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Men-Rock-Sic...=beard+shampoo
To clean it.
Most of the time I go natural but on some occasions I'll put this balm through it:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beard-Balm-P...ard+balm&psc=1
Oil is for shorter beards.
That's the exact balm I've just purchased. Woof.
What the fuck is going on in here?
:D
I'd assumed that the modern trend for beards was based around people being too lazy to shave, but if you're going to start grooming them you're just a twat.
Especially Mahow. I know a couple of people who purposely look like shit to piss off the people who give them personal/fashion advice, which is the most retarded thing ive ever heard. Standing up to the man etc
Mine is for laziness, and washing it is the only upkeep it requires.
A beard requires way too much effort for me. A lad I work with has his grow back in within 2 days but mine takes two weeks to get beard-like.
Is there a worse topic of conversation than how someone maintains their beard?
You had any pizza recently?
No, and I'm a better person for it.
Though the pizza chat was usually tongue in cheek and a great distraction technique from mert and his grinding/political activities. You bastard.
The pizza chat isn't the boring bit, I was flawlessly baiting you into mentioning your weight loss.
:D
I technically didn't mention it.
Nasal hair. I must yank out 30-50 of the fuckers (to my eternal misery) a month and yet it still looks like a small Amazonian forest is growing out of there.
Customer service.
I tried to call O2 twice yesterday as my bill wasn't paid and I was cut off both times just as I was about to speak to someone. The seethe having spent so long on hold and it happening twice was incredible.
I decided that today I'd use the live chat.
Payment was due on the 24th (who the fuck tries to take payment on Christmas fucking Eve btw?) and I didn't have enough in my account to cover the bill, when is the latest I could pay it off without incurring any charges etc?
Sir, I see that your payment was due on the 24th you must pay it immediately!
...
He (or the manager he apparently spoke to) didn't seem to care when I asked to postpone the payment until January 4th though.
Banks still work on Christmas Eve, Mahow.
My mother doing my head in has really peaked over the past few weeks. She just talks absolute shit at me, narrating her life to me or starting conversations like we're spies exchanging something in a park.
*comes into the room I'm in*
'They'll have to pay for that won't they?'
'Who?'
'Those people on the news.'
*gestures towards my laptop as if to say 'I'M NOT WATCHING THE FUCKING NEWS'*
'Haven't you seen it?'
'What? What are you on about?'
'Those people in the floods.'
'What about them? Pay for what?'
'If you can't even have a conversation...'
We're at the point where her voice grates on me like whichever alarm tone used to wake you up for another bollocks day at school. Which jobs house you that you can you just turn up at?
:D
My dad has this annoying habit of phrasing the same question several times in one sentence/piece of speech.
I lose patience straight away. Which question do you want me to answer?
'Didn't that barrier fail to open and that's why it's worse than normal?'
'I don't know.'
'Haven't you seen any of it?'
'No, otherwise you would have seen me watching it.'
'Yeah it did yeah.'
'What?'
'It didn't open.'
'So why ask me if you know more about it?'
'It's just something to make conversation about. I'm so sorry...'
It's not even stupidity is it? If you can't even sit quietly with your own son (who you know doesn't talk a load of shite because you're always moaning about the fact and encouraging him to do so) then you're basically deranged.
Does she go out much to talk nonsense to other folk? Maybe she's lonely.
She does, and doesn't seem to talk as much crap when I see/hear her with other people (boring shit, but not illogical nonsense). I can only rule out trolling because she seems to sulk whenever I shut it down, so I've no idea what motivates it.
"I dunno, son. I think we're drifting apart..."
Poor Lewis' mum. :(
I reckon we'd all [secretly] think living with Lewis for a bit would be a laugh, but I'm really not so sure it would be.
Attempted to update my dad's iPad using iTunes (it's old and can't be updated using the iPad).
The update failed and now I can't use, update or restore the iPad so have to take it into an Apple store so a 'technician' can fix it. Cheers Apple. :mad:
What happens if you hold the power button and the home button for a period of time?
Screenshot
If you hold it longer then it should reset.
My Mom's the same, except she's a vigorously racist social democrat ("Bernie and Trump are the only worthwhile candidates") and always turns every discussion into an argument about how shit black people are. And then when I tell her no, the "white race" won't get killed off, she goes into "well if every conversation is going to turn into an argument we might as well not even have conversations".
The only difference is my mom has no friends, no job and only gets to see me for 3 weeks out of the year, so I do feel bad for her.
My mum will have a sly dig at you, at which point you can choose to stay silent and get accused of ignoring her or have a dig back in which case you're picking on her.
My grandma's got a bad back. My dad queried as to whether taking some of his tramadol might help. My mum said no. He wouldn't let it go until my mum finally explained that they would be too strong for her.
He just wanted everyone to know that he takes stronger painkillers than anyone else.
Do you just want everyone to know that your parent's a bigger wanker than anyone else's?
He's not a wanker.
:D
It's not something I should bother thinking about really. When I just thought it was her being annoying she was just annoying; but the more you think about it you start to realise she's a bit of a pleb (although it explains why she doesn't get on with my brother, who is exactly the same).
I'm about to stay at my gran's for a few days and I'll be equally frustrated. I can't help but call her out on the crap she talks which inevitably upsets her. I'm a terrible grandson.
I get on well with my gran. She talks endless rubbish but it's almost always entertaining.
My nan told me and my mum last year that she'd tell the police if she found out anyone in the family was doing drugs, for their own good.
My mum does the annoying thing of getting really arsey whenever she has an argument with you, even if she initiated it, and acts like she was fully justified in being horrible if she wins the argument, but acts like you've basically bullied her if she loses the argument. I don't really care cus she's my mum and she's pretty great really, but it isn't much of a surprise that she basically hasn't got any mates any more.
She also does that thing of defending saying really tactless and unpleasant things as 'just being honest', but loses her shit if anyone says anything even remotely critical to her. Actually, I think she'd fit in pretty well on here. :henn0rz:
Also, our team lost the quiz last night by 1 point, and a couple of times I had a hunch for the right answer but was overruled by everyone else trying to work it out with 'logic'. Always go with hunches.
Getting ill. The days of endless drinking have caught up with me and I feel fucking horrid. New years eve is a write off.
Yeah, I'm with quincy here. Make the effort. :)
I'm signed up with the Student Panel because they offer surveys every now and then for some money (well Amazon gift cards and you need to get to £25 to get anything), they only take like 10 minutes and they only ever offer a maximum of 2 a month. Screen outs are a bitch though, I just had one pop up with these intro questions:
http://i.imgur.com/Ylp5LaA.png
I have only ever owned a TV on that list and sadly that excluded me, although I couldn't help but lol at some of the questions. It's such a shame that I haven't transplanted a 12 foot in the past year :(
I tried clicking on the first button for about 10 seconds before i realized it was an image.
When TTH moves to a new forum and the volume of activity is a pitiful shell of its glory days.
I remember thinking that doing surveys would be the path to monies. Then I realised they were boring as hell.
Why are music streaming aeevices almost twice the price of Netflix?
I'd pay about a fiver a month for one but I wouldn't get enough use our of it for a tenner a month. It seems like you get a lot more for your money with Netflix but I maybe I just place more value on TV and films.
I still think Netflix's selection is just too gash, even when you fuck around with the regions and stuff.
Isn't Spotify free? That's what I use once in a while.
Netflix has fuck all on it. For me anyway, wouldn't pay a euro for it.
I managed to get WhatsApp working on my phone. What's the point?
Being able to make international calls for free I think.
I'm going to switch away from Google Play Music soon as I'm just sick of the shitty UI on the app and the fact that non-US subscribers don't see the Youtube benefits it brings. The main reason I kept it is that it's preinstalled on the Nexus Player and works but I just never listen to music via the TV any more. It'll be Apple Music or back to Spotify, most likely the latter as the former is only of benefit if you have iTunes music, but both look infinitely nicer than the Google one.
So there is no way to stream music for free on a phone? That's disappointing.
Spotify is free but with ads.
But can't choose the songs you want according to Boydy. Tried that with Pandora and it was a 'mare with them choosing nothing but shite.
Yeah you can only choose artist or album which is tedious.
Yeah, you can't. You can only go onto an artist's page or whatever and use shuffle play. And you can only skip songs a few times before it won't let you any more.
I'd probably just waste my data allowance if I had something that worked properly anyway.
You can create playlists on Spotify free too so you can pretty much listen to whatever you want.
One of the big advantages of the subscription on Spotify or GPM (and probably Apple) is that you can download songs for offline play. I usually keep a few 40-50 song playlists I've made offline on the phone so I can play them in the car and not use data. They can also download to the watch on the Google one if you like, which is handy for walking.
Regarding downloading, is there a convenient way to download music to your computer nowadays, Napster style? Torrents are an option I guess but I would prefer song by song downloads as opposed to full albums.
I take it you mean free downloads, rather than the Spotify Premium option Giggles described above?
With the exception of a handful of artists refusing to have their music on it, Spotify has created an app that makes listening to music far simpler than messing around with torrenting sites or other illegitimate avenues. That just doesn't stand for Netflix and that's why I'm happy to pay a tenner for Spotify but not a fiver for TV streaming.
Pricing is tied to what music labels expect as minimum revenues from a service in return for licensing their catalogues. A tenner a month is fuck all really, considering you have access to every song in the universe near enough. You can save offline (around 3000 tracks) and swap them at will, if you don't want to use your data allowance. Just save them at home on wi-fi.
Pandora's a radio-like service, but will have a streaming service soon as they bought Rdio.
I find Spotify very good value - I would have spent more back in the old days of CD/iTunes buying anyway.
I think Pepe wants actual audio files. The disadvantage of something like Spotify is that there's no actual file so it can only be played through their interface, though something like that doesn't bother me personally as all my music is played from the phone or tablet through bluetooth devices or the chromecast audio.
Their interface is far superior to anything else I've used so I've never seen that as an issue.
Do you want new music Pep? It's pretty rare these days I've found to only like one song on a record.
Not new music, old stuff. Also yes, I want audio files so that they can go in Ms. Pepe's iPod and yes, I want them for free. :)
Basically, bring back Limewire!
Don't_look_back_in_anger_oasis_p1ss1ng_squ1rting_x xx_horse_sex_porn.mp3
Just download the full album and take the one song delete everything else.
I liked it when you'd get "[whatever you'd searched] cute girl has orgasm on webcam.avi" as the first hit for anything on limewire, and it was a 5kb exe file.
@Pepe, soulseek is excellent. Ridiculously comprehensive - I found the album my old fucking lodger made on there, not uploaded by him either. Barely any viruses or anything too.
I'd had a look at that after it was recommended when I'd asked (the name escaped me) and it looked really good.
Obviously Netflix isn't anywhere near as comprehensive as Spotify but I watch a lot more TV and films and it has a far superior interface to any illegal option. I've got Kodi now and I still go to Netflix first for films or TV. Plus it's like £6 a month, for the amount of TV and films I watch, that's very good value. Which brings me on to the point below.
A tenner isn't that much, no. Although its value is going to differ between someone working full-time in London and someone working part-time in the backwoods of Northern Ireland. But it also depends how much you actually listen to music. I don't all that much. Not enough to justify paying a tenner for. I'd probably use it on my phone on the train perhaps twice a week.
Some kind of cheaper, limited version (as in you can only stream, say, 2gb of music a month rather than the limitations they put on the free version now) would be good. Maybe 2gb would be too much, 1gb? I dunno. And let me save like 100 tracks offline. I'd pay a fiver a month for that.
I don't really like its interface. It's no easier to find what you want than to find relevant torrents, its discovery stuff is rubbish and its "new releases" sort of stuff usually has the same stuff for months on end. Spotify has done well on all that extra stuff so that it actually gives you something that downloading doesn't. Obviously it also helps that it has nearly all new releases and that downloading music is generally harder than downloading TV or films.
I just think video streaming channels still have some catching up to do. The fragmentation doesn't help either.
Netflix's interface fucks me off. Really hard to find anything worth watching.
I like the organisation of the genres and sub-genres. That's much better for browsing than browsing through heaps of shit on torrents. Even Kodi's browsing, which isn't bad, is a long way off it.
Also, the ease of it remembering where you are in a series or episode. I had to download the third season of The Bridge as they didn't have it and remembering what episode I'd last seen was a pain. Another thing - the reliability of subtitles on foreign shows and films. Downloading/streaming can be a bit of a pain for that.
Anyway, on to something else. I was in town earlier. I don't like the word 'chavs' much (thanks Owen Jones) but there's not really a better way to put it. Ballymena is full of fucking chavs. Or just generally awful, haggard people. I saw someone in Tesco who actually looked like Waynetta Slob.
:drool:
I'll be balls deep on that one tonight then.
Mostly true, yes.
The countless times we have decided to watch a movie only to call it off after fifteen minutes browsing the Netflix catalogue... Glad I have Kodi now.
My TV is arriving today btw. First time I own a TV in 8 years. :cool:
@Boydy - check out Amazon Prime Music - it's part of Amazon Prime (obviously). Smaller catalogue but comes with the benefits of quick delivery/Amazon Instant Video (their Netflix competitor). £79 a year.
Actually I remembered during lunch why I haven't downloaded shit for a while: Our ISP sends letters threatening to sue us when we do and they scare my GF. Guess soulseek is a no go.
My favorite letter was one we got for a couple of porn videos I downloaded (and a Madonna song, fuck know where that one came from.) Luckily the names were not too obviously porn and the .mp4 ending made her think they were music. I blamed it all on her colleague we hosted for a few days and left the episode unscathed but I must admit I was bricking it a bit, don't even know why.
Soulseek is great but it's like trying to use IRC these days. You know exactly how to do it but it's fucking tedious.
The collections of music some people have is amazing though. I'd search for a popular album and end up downloading about 6 mixtape b-sides.
.....
.....
Just seen a girl from my area has been murdered in Govan. Announced on Tayside Police FB page, and it's brought out the absolute lunatics saying RIP, family must be devastated etc when they aren't even from Dundee or Glasgow and they don't know her at all.
Why would you comment on such a thing if it didn't concern you in the slightest? Weirdo grief junkie cunts.
'When's that Eddie Redmere (Redmayne) film out?'
'You've asked me that three times today. Why don't you find out?'
'Well I don't know.'
Another cry for help. Sort yourself out, Lewis.
We should abandon "Feed Phonics" and embark on "Employ Lewis."
Jimmy should get Lewis a job at his North Korean labour camp :nodd:
For the sinister perverts (definitely not Manc):
https://m.facebook.com/katyjayne.rou...urce=typeahead
Still active Facebook profiles of the recently deceased really creep me out.
She lived with her sister (not in Govan) and worked for PO Ferries.
This looks like a date rape murder to me especially when you streetview Minto Road. Its a fucking hole.
My friend is still 'Friends' with somebody who did themselves in four years ago.
Woof.
I suppose there's still no way for Facebook to get rid of them.
It'll be a serious problem in 50 years time for my generation. One's friend list will be absolutely heaving with dead people.
There must be someone at Facebook HQ thinking about this.
Can you not request if you're a family member for it to be deleted? Why would you though, it's something to look back on.
I suppose - maybe it just isn't an issue.
Google have an inactive account manager thing where you can nominate someone who will receive access to your account if you don't log in for 3 months. Facebook could do with something similar.
I've got a 'friend' on there who topped himself 5 years ago. He's a bloke I went to school with. He still gets messages on his birthday and on the anniversary of him dying from friends and things.
Someone's beaten me to it...
http://www.theloop.ca/dead-facebook-...er-the-living/
428 users die an hour, with not much happening to the accounts after they do, meaning that they'll be more dead members than living ones by 2065.
A repository for dead people probably isn't going to do a great deal for the share price. It's a definite problem.
I was dicking around in the settings of facebook the other day and found they do have a will thing, you can set the person you want to control your account if you died. There is also the option to have it deleted.
Ah that must be new, handy. Just set it up there to delete.
How does Facebook know you've died? :cab:
Your 'Friends' start Googling funeral stuff and it picks up on it.
Leaving someone your Facebook account in a will. :D
Somebody do that and don't answer your phone for a couple of days.Quote:
Originally Posted by Facebook
I often wondered if there'd be a policy on steam or iTunes for that sort of thing.
It'll be weird on here because presumably nobody that you know knows about this place. I definitely wouldn't want anyone knowing about it if I died.
I bet a few ex-members are dead and we just don't know.
I do that little else that if I'm not here for a fortnight you'll know I've popped.
There are companies that put together death-washing lists (amongst other things) that get applied to marketing databases; it wouldn't surprise me if the same thing occurred with social media profiles to manage the cost of data storage.
Which is an oddly functional answer to a speculative question.
.....
My little brother would probably post something here if I died, I reckon.
.....
It's great.
.....
There are mediums that looked ubiquitous and unkillable just 10 or 15 years ago that are gone now, the fax machine went from conception to obsolescence in less than 50 years. Facebook will do well to be relevant in 10 years let alone 50.
Yes but nobody used fucking fax to indulge their narcissistic personalities or look at colleague's tits whilst their on holiday.
How many of them can be dead?
And don't get me wrong, I don't even like it that much, but it's absolutely brilliant at what it does and has always been ahead of the curve as far as the internet goes.
I get where you're coming from in terms of things not lasting forever (as I'm usually on that side of the argument), but 50 years is a relatively short space of time and not long enough for someone to fuck it up from where it is now.
Facebook has no use for me now. I have all my close friends in a single WhatsApp group and I obviously I just text and call them individually if it's a private conversation I want. Facebook would be more interesting to me if my friends didn't have such boring lives but they do, and if anything exciting happens they'd tell me anyway. I still reckon I'd be back on within the week if I killed my account now though. Probably just habit.
50 years ago (1966) my dad found out that we'd won the World Cup by reading it in a French newspaper three days later. I reckon things might have changed by then (and Leicester may not be top of the league either).
Facebook as a company will obviously still be around in 50 years and (probably) just as important as it is today. The Facebook product will be irrelevant for technological reasons.
Text-centric social media will be ancient. And it could evolve, but other competitors will always have the edge. It's sort of like how no toy retains its popularity past like 10 years or so. It loses its novelty value and people will move on.
Besides, Facebook will realize eventually they'll be able to make more money doing other things than "facebook.com", the social media site, and will begin to phase it out.
Their ambition for a facebooknet will see their demise.
We are of course guessing but I see this as still the early days of the internet (or widespread network connectivity in general), go back to the fifties and tell someone that the British civil aviation or car industries would be dead in 10 years (let alone 15 or 20) and they'd have lolled you out of one of the square windows in their Comet.
Once Zuckerberg gets bored and loses control (his wife probably has that in his contract) it could go anywhere, and in such a volatile sector the most likely outcome is it being supplanted or marginalised.
Facebook isn't really 'text-centric' as it is. There are written statuses, but words appear on my television screen and noone is calling that a text medium. It revolves far more clearly around pictures and videos, and since people aren't going to stop being self-obsessed whoppers any time soon I can't see a time when there isn't a demand for somewhere to upload twenty pictures of yourself a day.
If Facebook does die out it'll be because someone else beat them to a major advancement, but given the amount of money and the existing userbase they have it's more likely they'd just absorb whoever was doing that than go down to them.
Your point about toys fails along similar lines. Specific, gimmicky toys, like furbies or tamagotchis, tend to die out fairly quickly. At this point Facebook is more of a 'Lego', in that they're essentially a company which represents an industry.
Yeah, but Legos don't need a large, involved userbase to be fun. Industry standards in social media oscillate in popularity much more quickly because your enjoyment of the product is tied directly to other peoples' enjoyment of the product
Remember Myspace?
I needed to delete a relatives account after he passed away a few days back and it really was quite simple. You just fill out a form with some proof you're close to the person in question (I attached a picture of his drivers license) and they'll have it down in a few hours.
.....
.....
MySpace was nothing like Facebook. Bebo took their eye off the ball and Yahoo ruined it just in time for FB to come in.
They were only on the go for about 4 years and it never really took off in America.
FB was always more popular there. Between that and twitter it's hard to see how it can get any better especially because they're so intrinsically linked.
The next step is for us all to be wearing those fucking Google bins and imagineer words/pictures into other people's brains without having to type them up or use any sort of camera function. Everyone will look fucking ridiculous in said pictures because they'll all be wearing said bins, but it's more important just to generate the traffic for advertising space.
.....
We need MSN chat rooms back :drool:
Google+ basically evolved into a massive forum once they realised they hadn't a hope of even making a dent in Facebook. They've really given up on it themselves at this stage too.
Continuing with Facebook, how willing people are to share basically anything that starts with 'x wants this deleted from the internet', and how willing they are to believe that that's not only remotely possible, but has happened hundreds of times.
I've just been treated to a picture of two newborn babies in a cot with a Rangers scarf draped around it, which apparently needs to be shared because...
Fuck right off.Quote:
Cant even believe Celtic fans got this picture deleted. with 600 likes
1000 LIKES to prove a point. Cutest little bears I have ever seen and born yesterday... lets do it bears
I suppose this is just a moan about people being gullible twats, but this particular manifestation of that pisses me right off.
Speaking of Facebook, I found this message a little odd. I'm sure all my friends are desperately wondering what I look like, seeing as it's been a whole year since I changed my profile picture. :cab:
http://i.imgur.com/WyG1BG0.png
I've had the same profile picture (Hulk Hogan doing 11/9) for eight years, so I must have beaten them.
Does anyone else manage without social media? Most people I meet think I'm an oddball for not having Facebook.
I mainly keep up with it so they stop sending me notification emails. Plus fam and that.
An email address is different in that it doesn't require any real upkeep and isn't presenting a particular view of you to the world, unless your address is about a footballer being God or something, but there is a generational line in the sand for that stuff. Ask a seventy year old and you wouldn't be surprised to hear they didn't know what an email was, ask a seventeen year old and you would be surprised to find out most people hadn't seen their arse on Snapchat at some point in the last fortnight.
I don't know why people still moan about Facebook. It's as good/shit as you want it to be, so you might as well just have an account.
I thought I'd never delete mine but I hardly use it since I deleted the app. Suppose there's no harm in having it there though but it needs a good chopping of people like ex colleagues from 10 years ago.
I'm with Lewis on this. Also, getting rid of facebook sort of reminds of that old joke - how do you know someone hasn't got a television? Don't worry, they'll tell you. Same with fazzy b ennit. Maybe I'm just a sheep but even if I hated the majority of facebook (i don't) I'd just maintain a super private profile, never look at the news feed, but just keep it for when I meet someone who goes 'oh I'll add you on facebook', so you can av a chat some time.
Surely it is great for when you meet someone you get on with, want to stay in touch with them, but don't want to exchange numbers because it seems a bit full-on. Exchanging emails would be even stranger I think. I guess it depends whether you value not being on facebook more than avoiding the fairly obvious social disadvantages that come from that.
There's probably about 50 or so people I've maintained decent friendships with from occasionally chatting to them on facebook that I probably would have never bothered to text. I've even slept with a couple of girls that I definitely wouldn't have if I didn't have facebook. It is just a tool that you can use however you want.
I used to find it great for keeping in touch with people at home when I moved to the UK and then presumed it'd have the same use when I moved back. But there's not much point in keeping in touch with people when you know you've moved permanently.
But, as you say. It may as well stay there even if you never look at it.
If my life is ever in the pits I'll sign up and poke Waff.
It appears I last used mine two years ago. Other then my girlfriend tagging me in everything.
It's just total shite.
That it's impossible to stop yourself being tagged in photos/etc. before everyone's seen them in their newsfeeds is probably the only valid complaint I've heard, and even then that only really matters if you're up to no good.
Generally people that complain about it and/or periodically come on and off it either have extreme narcissism or a problem with relationships that have ended badly.
Pretty sure you can prevent anyone tagging you in anything anyway.
You can set it so that everything requires your approval before appearing on your timeline.
Ah right. Fair enough, I don't use Facebook, just know other people who have it set up this way.
Point. Twitter has no downsides though. :drool:
It's 2am and there's a fucking bird giving it large on the roof of my building. What the actual fuck!
The dog just came and sat in his bed looking at me until I left the kitchen and let him get to sleep. The little prick.
He wanted the light off so he could go to bed properly.
He's a fucking dog. Stop pampering him.
There's a sitcom in this, cracking stuff.
You've missed a trick here Lewis, he could have been a celebrity.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendl...-and-counting/
The mother-in-law has just described on Facebook their night away tonight as 'a cheeky wee' one.
:sick:
I'll be honest, the main pleasure I get out of Facebook these days is from randomly catching posts off Magic's wife and in-laws.
Lol at Magic's Facebook photo being all the family but his wife's just being the kid.
I don't even have you on Facebook you creepy cunt.
Can I add you, @Magic?
I'm not on FB, but that's because i'm an unsociable bastard. My wife shows me some comments on it, some of which can be quite cringeworthy.
I was on it for a 6 month spell when i was single. It was bloody brilliant to use when picking up women.
My wife's colleague's wife consistently has FB breaks, which she ensures everyone know about on FB. She'll also check in midway through the hiatus to update people. It's brilliant. :D
The best/worst thing like that was when the always dreadful Caitlin Moran boycotted twitter for one fucking DAY. Fuck sake.
'The Dickhead' on Facebook posted a picture of a cut up credit card with this today:
#paid and #cutupp #5k #limitededition #gold #credit #card #2016 #gunna be #debtfree #realshit #bosslifestyle
He is the reason why I hate Facebook...
Just get rid of them altogether.
I've not gone on my Facebook for about five years and I've never done any of the other stuff.
I am coming to the conclusion that, shit as it is, I am somewhat disadvantaging myself by not being more on it when all my mates use it. You do tend to miss stuff.
This girl is probably my favourite mentalist:
Not much posted since then, but she's up to level 35 on 'criminal case'.Quote:
July 28th - 'Misses her baby boyyy soooooooooooo much want u bk here wiv me I hate us being apart ring me babycakes xxxxx — with (name of some bloke).'
July 31st - 'So glad we bk together love u millions my sexy man love u for life xxxxxx — with (same bloke tagged).
later on the same day - 'Just want my man back here with me and his child where he belongs we were so happy last nite back in our home dunno wot keeps goin wrong just wish we cud be happy like we were a couple of months ago x — with (same again).'
August 4th - (same bloke) and her Got Engaged
August 5th - 'Wishes she was loved :('
August 7th - 'I'm sorry for ruining your life I will always love u I still do more than anythin this is killing me babes but I'm sorry for wrecking your life xxxx — with (same bloke tagged).'
October 1st - They're set as being in a 'complicated relationship'
October 2nd - Set as being engaged again
October 7th - 'Hate my life right now everythin is fallin apart just don't know wat the point is anymore'
:D
She's probably either engaged with him for the 20th time or she's killed him.
.....
Yes @igor_balis
Not sure I trust LR, who stalked me, added me then PM'd me asking for permission.
Could be one of those freaks that comments on things all the time in a weird way prompting questions about how I know an ex-junkie from Leeds who's now an alcoholic and somehow works in a bank.
It's Dundee, surely half your friends list are ex-junkies.
Just say you met him at football.
Ex?
Speaking of Facebook, my friend's sister invited me to his going-away party next month (he's joining the Navy) and for a lol I said I wasn't going and told her that we would be having our own private celebration. I then sent him a 'lol your sister is giving it large because...' message, and the stupid bitch has since added 'SURPRISE PARTY' to the title.
Sounds like you are being autistic rather than her.
:D
You're such a dickhead, Lewis.
Who arranges a surprise party via Facebook without making it clear? The group was up for three hours before the title edit.
Three hours isn't very long, really.
Who says they're not going and having a private celebration with the person who's leaving instead? You weirdo.
He doesn't even want a going-away party, and we planned to go in town before he went.
Why, though, are you friends with people who are up for joining the Navy?
.....
Lewis should probably join the Navy himself.
He's doing it because he doesn't see another way out of his boring situation, but I don't have the temperament for the forces (or anything overly-regimented).
How are y'all 'picking up chicks' on Facebook? Maybe the FB culture is different in the States, but I've never heard of anyone getting laid through Facebook. Snapchat's great for that, face to face-to-face (or dick-to-face) is best, but Facebook? Do you post on her wall? Message her? Poke her? Weird shit mang.
.....
Well this was 4 yrs ago, and I'd still meet the women out in clubs and bars, but I'd use Facebook instead of my numberto connect with them.
This was great because it meant i could check them out once my beer goggles had gone, just to make sure I hadn't done anything horrendous (which happened on the odd occasion).
I remember I pulled one girl who's face was in the Sub newspaper the following day. She had sold her story about sleeping with an x factor contestant at the time.
Yeah that sounds about right.
I don't get told such things because I forget their surprises or secrets then unintentionally drop them in it.
"What you doing on the weekend, Tim?"
"Going to your party you daft tw.....oh fuck"
I've never been to a surprise party except when I did someone a favour by running the bar at one. It was absolutely shite. Some pube headed twat turning 30 was told he was going out for dinner, but was instead led in unlikely fashion to the venue which is miles away from any restaurants. He rocks up, his 9/10 girlfriend (he is a 4, and has no friends, I mean come on) shouts 'Surprise!' to reveal about 30 people, 10 of whom are older family and most of the rest aren't even drinking. The night fizzles to a climax in which literally the fattest human I've ever seen, who has to be helped to walk and buys four cans of Coke off me at a time, unveils his party piece which is to sing 'Angels' by Robbie Williams to a ridiculously high standard, before begging me for free crisps because he is skint.
I therefore assume they are all like that.
My wife's friend organised her own "surprise" 30th birthday party. Even had everyone shout "SURPRISE" when she walked in and acted shocked and emotional in a non-sarcastic manner. The stupid twat.
Ha, that story is great Jimmy, it really captures a particularly English grim desolation. Of course it was that fucking song as well. There's probably about 20 different fat blokes singing Angels in various drinking establishments around our green and pleasant land on any given Saturday night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHfLbUqqqlM
I would hate a surprise party and have made that abundantly clear to the very limited pool of people who might ever throw me one, but my girlfriend threw one for her parents' silver anniversary the other year and it went really well. There were probably close to a hundred people there - including her unexpectedly back from university - but they hadn't the slightest idea it was going to happen.
I don't any friends to do one for me anyway. :cool:
Fucking bitch receptionist at the local health centre just audibly sighed at me on the phone because I asked if I could get a prescription from them today instead of having to wait till tomorrow. It's a repeat one anyway, how fucking hard is it to print it off and have the doctor sign it. It'd take a minute, tops.
Can't you just have a repeat prescription approved by a pharmacist?
I dunno. I didn't think they did that. I've always just phoned the doctors' surgery and had them send it through to the local pharmacy. They even have an option on the switchboard when you call up for repeat prescriptions.
Jimmy is one of the last people I thought would rate people for their looks out of 10. Mert-lite.
I thought that seemed pretty out of character as well.
http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/1674.asp...CategoryID=161
I don't really know how any of it works to be fair, but I was always under the impression a repeat prescription didn't need much involvement from the doctor/surgery after it was given. That seems like the whole point to me. I'm sure I've seen people in Boots having them renewed.
Commenting on physical attraction at all is fairly out of character, to be honest. I'll have a long, hard think about my behaviour.
That sounds like a horrible euphemism given the context, you nasty man.
I was more surprised at 'pube headed twat'. You'd be glad of those, mate.