Mine's better than ever, lads.
And I definitely don't spend most of my working life eye fucking other women.
How about you?
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Mine's better than ever, lads.
And I definitely don't spend most of my working life eye fucking other women.
How about you?
So you haven't actually fucked fit accountant yet?
Yes.
This has been the thread of the year so far, easily.
I have not, although rumours abound. I might as well fuck her given how some twats at work have been talking over the past few days, but I won't.
Might as well.
Why don't you fuck someone else, to really stick it to them?
You should fuck a patient.
I actually booked a long weekend to Leeds v Brentford on our 5 year anniversary and didn't realise until the Monday of said week when she asked what we were doing for it. So LOL at that.
Considering we've had about 20 folk turn up, it's reassuring that it includes such Relationship big hitters as Lee, Hammer, Magic and Mahow.
Alright, LADS.
There goes my most successful thread. :(
I've had shocker recently. Went on a couple of dates with a girl only for her to pan it all off claiming she had no time to date. That same day she pops up as a new user on Pof.
Fan fucking tactic.
Told the wife about your escapade out in only your boxers yesterday. Our shared enjoyment of the story has made our marriage as happy as ever, so thanks.
PMSL so the wife's just come in as my step-mum was supposed to be watching her do my little sister's eyelashes so she could copy and do Mrs J's. Anyway she was pissed so wasn't properly paying attention and has really badly glued these lashes on to the wife's pus and it looks awful but it's glue and she's too nice to say no. BAHAHAHA. And we're going out tomorrow for her birthday.
She what now?Quote:
and has really badly glued these lashes on to the wife's pus
Fucking HELL lads.
Went round to the wife's grans (I don't have tea there because it's so bad I'd rather eat the venerial disease off a deceased homeless man's cock before I tucked in to the half-fat sausages and triple overcooked veg that old age whore plates up) to pick little M up.
It was the wife's birthday and thankfully we didn't see her disgusting family all weekend (:drool:) so they bought her a small cake last night and had candles. They were moaning they were waiting on me, well it takes me 30 mins to get there and I don't finish work at half 5 so you can fuck off. I didn't want the cake because I'm trying to diet until my piroformis syndrome subsides and I can lift again then they moaned again. What the fuck? Arseholes. I'd had it by this point, so bathed little M got her dried and jammies on then went to go home.
Then the cunt Wife pops up with 'you'd be as well cleaning her teeth here' and yep, that was my fuse lit. She knows I hate cleaning her teeth there because the brush is so overused it looks like pubes, she isn't a fucking baby and baby toothpaste isn't strong enough (I have a thing about teeth having had 6 removed over my life).
"I'll do it when I get in"
"She'll fall asleep in the car though"
"No she won't, honest it'll be fine I've got it just relax"
*insert CUNT-IN-LAW HOW FUCKING PREDICTABLE, HOW DARE SOMETHING HAPPEN WITHOUT THIS SPAWN FROM HELL PIPING UP WITH HER HENRY LIKE OPINION*
"Just do it here there's no point in waking her up"
"...she won't fall asleep it's fine"
*background noise from the cuntwife, probably in agreement with her slut mother*
"No I'll just do it when I get home"
"You're so stubborn, just frigging do it here"
"...*lost for words*..."
"...*ignores what has just happened*..."
"Right are we ready to go? Bye everyone"
Raging. What a pig ignorant fucking wench.
Anyway when the cuntwife came home after doing a wedding trial I simply said:
"And that tonight...that is exactly the reason I will never, EVER go on holiday with your fucking family"
:drool:
Why don't you get a new brush for her?
Way to bypass the the entire story, poindexter.
Anyway we used to carry one about with us but she doesn't really need a changing bag anymore and it's a remnant from the past. I ALWAYS take her home and do it if we're at her great-grans and anywhere else for that matter really.
Magic I feel a little sorry for you sometimes :( Your life doesn't seem so happy. Or, your'e largely exaggerating how much small things seems to fuck you over and/or rip you and your wife apart.
Delighted to find out that I don't have AIDS or any other STIs today. Fucking bosh.
It just sounds like he's stuck in a cycle of thinking everything is shit and/or going against him. Buy a new toothbrush to keep at her grandparents ffs, or at least have the bollocks to say, "I'm not doing it here because that toothbrush is fucked".
The real reason is because I just wanted to leave anyway they are only supporting reasons.
Brushing her teeth would have been quicker than throwing a wobbler over it.
My ex woman's Da used to be a nosey cunt like that. Always had a better way of doing everything, and you were the worst in the world if you ever said a thibg about 'Daddy'.
But not with the facilities there.
You sound like you blow up over the stupidest little things which doesn't sound very healthy at all
I didn't blow up. Have you even read the story?
What?
I understand Magic here, as (your own) parents and other peoples opinions on how and what to do with your own child is almost as annoying as slow walkers in the middle of the sidewalk. They should really just mind their own business about that.
Now having read stuff Magic posted before, it seems this is not the first time he goes through this, and it does grow exponentially more annoying with each situation, to the point where a trivial occasion such as this toothbrush story is the drop that topples the iceberg or whatever the fuck the expression is.
Still, I do also think Magic seems a little miserable in his life and that that affects how he handles this stuff and maybe more importantly how much he lets it get to him. Normally, the key to managing annoying grandparents is to have your lady on your own side, and if I were Magic I'd work on that stuff asap with his wife before their relationship completely collapses (which is the image I get from it).
Yeah she never takes my side with that shit. Still I handled it superbly.
Magic's posts about minor social irritations should be read with a grin and curb your enthusiasm music in your head. Chill out lads, yeah?
I bet she fell asleep in the car.
And Larry David ended up divorced in Curb.
No she didn't, she was fantastic as per we had a great chat then I cleaned her teeth with some professional Oral B electric brush and soft head and proper toothpaste, she wanted to floss so there and then we read the Encyclopedia I had when I was a kid, we read about 'Our Bodies' and she was pissing herself laughing when we were on about Belly Button is because of umbilical cord scarring. Inees Outees etc.
She'll look back after winning a Nobel Peace Prize and wish that her Dad had gave her Pepsi and taken her to McDonalds but that's a price I'm willing to pay.
A fucking encyclopedia before sleep? Read her some Disney rubbish or whatever it is the kids love these days.
Is it? I thought it'd be alright with the doctor being super clinical and stuff. I've never done it before, as I hadn't slept with anyone I wasn't serious with until this year.
I got with someone at the weekend and the condom broke, and today I have an occasional shooting pain in my balls, so I'm going asap.
RIP Hammer. :(
I heard that if you get pain in your balls it's automatic castration.
I found it surprisingly chilled, really. Filled out a form, answered a couple of questions, got given a cup to piss in (in the toilet, to be left on a shelf), then got my blood taken. Really fit blonde girl and a really fit black girl came into the waiting room while I was there, which made the time go quicker regardless of the context.
How long after did you get your results? I really can't be arsed to be dealing with AIDS at my age.
I thought that was a joke. As if Magic ever read a book let alone an encyclopedia as a child.
It's this one:
http://thumbs1.ebaystatic.com/d/l225...nnmOiJoiHw.jpg
She loves it. It's important for kids to understand the world around them. Nevertheless, a good dose of Disney doesn't go amiss at all.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...4,203,200_.jpg
That one for me, I fucking loved it.
My parents had a prolonged and abusive breakup which ripped our family apart just before I started secondary school. At such an important part of my life I had no one to guide me. After 1st year and aceing everything it all went to complete shit. I blame them solely for all my mental issues.
I had Mahow's one too, although it was an atlas that I was obsessed with until I was old enough to move on to Horrible Histories.
There was a picture round of Horrible Histories covers on University Challenge last night, for one of the extremely rare occasions where I get a complete set of questions correct.
I was tested about two months ago and the testing itself was fine, it was the waiting room and meeting eyes and wondering that I didn't like. And the extortionate parking fees.
Bloody hell that was unexpected.
So would you rule out divorce, even if you come to hate your wife, just for the kid?
What the fuck? That's an extreme question.
Ordering some new child's Oral B heads now, fucking hell they're expensive given they only last about a month.
And one you must answer immediately.
Yes.
This isn't fun anymore.
Ask me if I'd take them all out if she left me. Go on. Fucking ask me.
I'm scared.
Why? It's what you want, isn't it? ISN'T IT?
God Damnit. :cry:
What's the worst that could happen if you (or anybody else for that matter) just told the in-laws that they're bastards and that they do your head in? Surely if you get dumped over it then you're better off (see: Giggles).
They don't though, in reality. They do a lot for us, it's just the cunt-in-law is prone to scenes of absolute cuntery (such as the one above) which destroys any positive feeling I had towards her.
The best way I've found to deal with the abrasive bitch is just to nod and agree and utterly ignore anything that comes out of her mouth. Same with the father-in-law.
They both know I rule the roost and that probably upsets them as that cow is the absolute executive branch in that household.
Funnily enough her old man was the one on my doorstep asking me to sort things out when I did a runner one weekend once he found me. I enjoyed telling him where to go.
And look at the state of you now; you can barely have a wank without downing seven co-codamols.
I'm a physical wreckage, but I doubt that's because the dictionary wasn't considered a bedtime story in my house.
The Guinness Book of Records was a good one. 1997's edition was the best one they ever made.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJMnLIWYTls
This shit?
If so, I hated it. I just read the encyclopaedia constantly.
My description was a bit off, this is what I mean:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uwarhzl76D8
I only had the book and the absolutely woeful CD.
I had Encarta for a bit on my PC. I remember laughing at foreign national anthems and watching a video of that lizard chasing you with its face all open like that little dinosaur from Jurassic Park that spits in that bloke from Seinfeld's face.
Anyone else have Mavis Beacon on their PC?
I think I had that too at one point but never looked at it. I think Wikipedia was emerging by then.
I've always wanted to go back and play Myst to see if I'd actually understand it now. It was on the computer in one of my very early primary school classes when we were far too young to get what was going on.
Other than that it was all BBC Micros. The Football Manager game on that was class and I imagine the first ever made?
On a similar theme I got a box of old books from my parents, some of which were my old wildlife books.
The sealife one has pictures of whales getting butchered. :|
Educational games on PC? Never.
My old man was letting me play Diablo, Quake, Doom and so forth from when I was able to access the PC, which from family videos was the age of two.
Don't get me wrong, I dabbled in a bit of Duke Nukem 3D and Wolfenstein 3D afterwards. :drool:
Must have been the in thing at that point so stick '3D' after the end of the game name to make it sound cooler.
Or, you know, they were made in 3D rather than 2 or 2.5D
And if we're going back to the BBC days, Granny's Garden ftw
Still have both of those installed on my laptop. The updated engine mod on Duke Nukem 3D is fantastic and makes train journeys fly by.
Magic Carpet as well, what a game that was.
Was pretty heavy into shooters through my youth, competed in Barrysworld leagues when I was 11 :D.
Think when I have children I'll read them this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlFTjs_ez14
Duke Nukem 3D was the balls.
8 year old me giving strippers money to show us their tits. Great times.
When I have kids all they will know will be Zoombini-induced.
Bloody hell, now that I did play. What a game.
Got a couple of dates at the end of the week :cool:.
Girl A: Met her on daft dating website and been chatting to her for a few weeks. Seems nice and interesting, but is a big unit so we'll see how that goes. Whether I'm attracted to her will depend entirely on the chemistry so will have to wait and see.
Girl B: Met her at that fetish club a few weeks ago. Into all that crazy shit and is fiiiine so looking forward to it. Downside is that it's possible, based on what I've gathered from talking to her, the she might some mental health issues of some sort which I can't really be arsed with, especially if I'm gonna be a counsellor it'll be too much if it's at home too. We'll see.
Girl C is also on the horizon - a lass in my office who is lovely and hot and all that. She says she wants to come see me perform my crap poetry so there's definitely potential there for something. At the moment I think I like her most of the three, though girl B obviously has some bonus point for being into all kinds of crazy sex shit.
Few weeks ago I went for a drink with my mate, his girlfriend and his girlfriend's flatmate. I quite liked her, but my mate persuaded me not to text her or facebook message her (I don't have her added) out of the blue as it would be 'weird'. He said I should just wait for when we inevitably ended up at a social event together.
On Saturday I thought fuck it, and messaged her on facebook asking if she fancied a drink. She only replied last night, but asked if I wanted to go out and watch the eclipse with her. It was dead romantic, looking at the moon and shit. Last time I take romantic advice from my mate.
That does sound nice actually.
Did the moon do much? I was up until about 2am and I glanced at it a few times and it wasn't up to much when I saw it. It was near the horizon about 7pm and was absolutely fucking huge but nothing out the ordinary otherwise.
It did eventually. We were there to watch it from about midnight, and some old bloke told us that it won't do much until gone 3. That was alright as it gave us time to go grab a couple of drinks, which helped break up the evening. By 4 it was fully red. Pretty cool actually.
Did you YouTube it, you big nonce?
:(
Yes I did.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSn-svY_E4E
Not to sound like a twat or anything Igor, but what's going on for both of you to be able to stay up until 4am on a Sunday night? :scratch:
Edit: Actually you work weird shifts don't you?
Nah but I work from home, so as long as i'm awake by 9 it's all good.
I think he takes speed. Or some kind of upper anyway.
Edit: Works from home. Dealer then.
Have managed to secure a night out with flirty bird from my old work. There's 8 of us going, 3 couples, me and her. Looks dodge I know. She asked if both of us were coming and I said we couldn't find a babysitter. I've not told the wife about it yet. Could be dangerous territory here lads.
Also she came across a girl's sock that wasn't hers and asked me about it. I acted so suspiciously and thought I was lying. What an embarrassment. I'd have been hopeless in witching times.
Where did the sock actually come from?
"I wasn't wearing it on my cock!"
I've no idea but it's black and frilly. Definitely female. Maybe she's having a lesbian affair. :drool:
Are you sure you aren't just repressing your own cross-dressing escapades like that bloke from Filth? You remind me a bit of him actually.
I've not seen it. Cross dressing doesn't really appeal to me. Remember my wife tells me what to wear.
Hammer probably wants that sock back at some point, I wouldn't chuck it.
It's depressing being 30. Had a 19 year old pretty much throw herself at me this weekend and I can only think, 'yeah, so that might be creepy' and steer clear.
Fuck 30. It's shite.
Fuck that. I'd have no problem shagging a nineteen year old.
They'd fuck you off within about two minutes. No end of late teens early 20's girls at my place don't think there's one that I don't want to punch in the face.
Merse you gombine. No-one lies on their deathbed thinking 'I wish I'd smashed fewer 19 year olds'.
Hmmm
Flirty whatsapp messages since then have made me start thinking I was was too drunk and stoned to make responsible decisions for myself and that I should definitely get the slip when she's next here, but she is from Barcelona, so may be 20 by the time that were to happen. In which case - justified.
30/2 = 15
15 + 7 = 22
Hmm. She's legal though, at least? Be reyt.
Edit: @Raoul Duke :lol:
Fuck her in the arse.
Fucking hell :D
@Magic, are you actually intending to cheat on your wife? Have you done so before?
EDIT: I don't mean to sound high-and-mighty by the way, I'm just wondering.
:O
@Mazuuurk no and no.
OK, well thats good but... then what's the problem with going out with your former workmate? That your wife might get fucked off for you doing so? And if so - is it worth it anyway?
Christ you're such a bitch. I bet you're not even allowed to talk to other women you thumbed cunt.
U ok hun?
She's hot, she's a flirt, the wife doesn't trust her or like her, they are mates on Facebook which is shocking for me. The issue is she invited the pair of us but I hate her coming to work stuff because I can't be myself or casually flirt with the hot babes. I told hottie 1 that we couldn't find a babysitter so it's just me, I haven't mentioned it to the wife yet. If she finds out she was invited via FB or some other means then it implies guilt.
A bit of casual flirting doesn't mean shagging for fuck's sake. Do you never flirt? Is everything black and white? Must the first step always lead to the last step? Are you one of those self-righteous wankers that falls out with their mates because they talk to a woman when they are married? I bet you text their wives and are a spy. You disgusting bastard.
Had a 32 year old absolutely rip my dick off. I've never been so in love.
I'm sorry, what?
That sounds more like Hammer's kind of thing, Alb.
Why can't you be yourself with your missus, Magic?
I can at other social events but not work. Work is work maaan. Lee knows the score on this one.
I'm with Magic, it's nice to have things in your life which don't involve the two of you.
Hammer is way worse
Something to do with her being on the best coke high, just made her insane. She's facebook messaging me now saying she can only now just start sitting properly :D
He's into 19 year olds.. I'm not sure why older women are just better right now.
Aren't you 19?
AE :cool:
Why would you think that? I'm 23.
Stuck in the past. :(
The past... And to think I could've had a 5 year old kid by now.
Well done on breaking the stereotype.
AE donning it. Well in, lad.
Cheers lads.
Alb. :cool:
I had to BOTTLE a date last night because of some kind of horrid mystery illness. I've managed to diagnose it as meningitis thanks to Google, so hopefully the GP tells me otherwise in an hour or so.
Still though, at least it's a good excuse.
I don't even... what? :sorry:
I'm just seriously asking, mate. I don't give a fuck if you flirt, I don't mind if anyone does it, let alone my own girlfriend. It's very innocent. But no I don't value it very highly to be frank, doesn't give me much other than perhaps making me erroneously glorify my breif "single days" like 8 years ago.
What I was wondering is if it's worth the hassle with your wife (because I got the impression that there's some potential hassle if she finds out you lied about the babysitter?) just so that you can flirt a little on a night out?
Again, I don't mean to pass judgement, but personally I can relate more to for instance wanting some time away from home, going out with the mates, etc.
I also understand separating work and home, but it just didn't sound like that was the issue, or even something you'd need to lie about the babysitter about.
Fucking lol Mellin :D
Alright Oprah. Can you get off your high horse please?
Stop being a twat, Magic :D
Just booked a hotel for a work charity quiz night in November. I was telling the wife and she was like 'Oh that sounds good, I'm not very good at quiz nights though.'
Then came the awkward 'I was just going to go myself'.
Cue huff. I'm away from 7AM for a team meeting and to work the entire day in head office so she'd have to sit like a gormless clown on an industrial estate in Inverness for the entire day, plus the inconvenience with a weekday babysitter. She's got nothing to moan about.
@Mazuuurk and no this doesn't mean I'm going to have an extra-marital affair and illegitimate children.
You booked the hotel before telling her you were going?
Also, a babysitter? Why do live so close to your in-laws if you aren't going to use them?
Magic has never cheated but not due to lack of trying.
Do you do anything together aside from your sad movie nights?
Are you looking forward to the time when you only see your daughter every other weekend, Magic?
Oooft. I feel like Boyd's punching bag here lads.
No of course not. I phoned to make sure we didn't have any plans that night. :D
I don't live so close to them? It was just an excuse really.
This is not true.
Yes we just spend the weekend in Glasgow.
This will never happen.
So you have cheated then? What a twat.
:moop:
Shiiiiiiit we can post 1 smiley at a time? :drool:
We could always post the :moop: smiley, since it's over 5 characters, no?
Anyway @Magic why are you being such an arsehole about this? I'm not trying to lecture you. I'm genuinely asking and was hoping for serious answers.
Proper pisses me off when you hit it off with a bird for the whole night, then she's all weird the next day and you eventually stop talking. Like why did you just waste all your time with me, doesn't help that she's hot too.
In another news Tinder game has gone a bit quiet, i've got a girl in the works right now, she's seems keen, but i'll ruin it in about a day or so.
https://i.gyazo.com/765b154ba9ff4324...f4e54b7e78.png
Which one is Spoonksy in that picture?
He's taking the photo with an engraved hip flash from the civil war on his utility belt.
I'm clearly the farthest right. Flannel, a shit hat, all by myself, drinking vodka straight from the bottle... a weirdly large proportion of my good friends are in couples, too.
Mate, he's got a beard. You're never going to be anywhere near him.
And reasonable size about him. He doesn't look like a typical American teen TV show nerd.
No STIs for me :drool:
I also have good Hepatitis B protection :cool:
https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/ten_thousand.png
Now you get to watch it together.
AW how quirky and sweet.
End it Smiff. End it now.
But what happened to him? He must be gutted. :(
.....
If you're still talking the 15-rated Braveheart then yes, leave her be you dirty old bastard.
(I actually saw (a bit) of Braveheart in the cinema despite only being 5 at the time. I was in the projection room with my mum and sneaked a peek while she wasn't paying attention.)
I bet everyone else noticed when your absolute cunt of a cranium blocked the projection.
Any size of head would block the projector at that sort of distance, you fucking idiot. I thought you were supposed to be an engineer? Maybe a bigger head would hold a functioning brain, fucknut.
.....
I reckon trainee girl at work might be a bit of a manipulative cow in the end. A part of me wants to pursue and dig a bit and figure out what she's really all about, but really I know I need to swallow my pride and just walk away from it. Bitter experience tells me that the longer I leave it, the harder it is to just drop it and walk away so I really need to escape right now. Its a shame because she's lovely at times, but Ive been there before and I ain't falling into no quagmire of bullshit again.
What happened to make you think that?
Asked her out for a drink, she suggested me coming along with her trainee friends again so we can get to know each other that way - fair enough as I've worked with them all and went out with them last week. Started out chatting to her nicely and then settled into the night chatting to everyone, and then she was blatantly flirting with one of the other trainees. As in, it looked like there might be something on the cards. I mean...what? Fair play to them two if that's on the cards, but then why invite me out? Why not just say she's not bothered? I could have been doing something else.
I can't be arsed with the gameplaying, which is what I thought it was. I'm out. It's a shame as she was pretty cool, but whatever.
It's entirely possible that suggesting a group outing was her way of saying she's not bothered.
You forgot to add 'Plot twist:' to your post, Disco.
Yes, and maybe flirting with dude A was another way. There's decent ways of doing it and then dickhead ways. She should just say if she isn't and if she can't do that then I'm not interested anyway. I'm happy to wait for someone who is capable of expressing things transparently.
Yeah I get that. Most people should know though that even(/especially) at work, it's best to just be up front and honest about it.
Maybe you're so bumbling and so far away from someone she'd be interested in that she didn't even realise you were 'asking her out'. Maybe she was interested but you meffed up the initial conversation to such an extent that you killed it and over the course of the evening she started to like the other bloke. Labelling her a 'manipulative cow' off the back of that one night is a bit much.
Nah she realised, it wasn't bumbling at all and we chatted fine. Not sure how you're daft enough to think you can come to a conclusion on it in honesty as I only gave the very basics in here.
I didn't come to a conclusion, as should be obvious from the fact that I offered two very different possible scenarios.
The conclusion was in the final sentence.
It's probably not far off though, the likelihood of it all being a ruse designed to humiliate you is pretty low.
Either she wanted to size you up in company or wasn't interested in the first place and didn't want to let you down face to face. Like it or not some people find it hard to do that kind of thing one to one.
Yep, 'sounds like', based on no detailed information at all.
This is daft. I was just here to vent. If I wanted half-baked interpretations then I'd have written out a story which actually included some details.
I wasn't having a go, I thought John's post was a bit over the top as well. I'm just saying it's silly to say it was either one thing or the other, there's all sorts of reasons she might have done what she did. I do really doubt it was a calculated ploy to lead you on, but yes - obviously we're not in a position to judge that for sure.
The last sentence was hardly a conclusion either, right as it is, but it's not on me if you've told half a story as if it's the full thing. You were asked why you thought she was a manipulative cow, you gave an answer, I said it was a bit much to label her as such based on the information given.
You should start a blog if you just want to vent without having anyone read and respond to what you're saying.
Hammer meltdown in three, two...
Tell her about your swinging club, that'll probably get her interested again.
Yeah kinda just sounds like she's not into you. If someone i'm not into asks me out at work I'm neither a) going to say no i don't like you, nor will i b) spazz out and lie my way out of having to hang out with you.
People say they want others to just be blunt if they're not attracted to them, but in reality nobody would actually prefer that mode of rejection. Besides, if yall are at a bar drinking, you might as well be flirting with everyone. No harm in that.
That sounds fair enough on her part, though 'if you don't want to see me' sounds a bit needy.
What film were you talking about before when you said she wasn't born when it came out?
Erm... That's a pretty normal thing to say. In any relationship, whether romantic or platonic, it's pretty shitty and really not the 'done thing' to continually bale on plans.
There may be mitigating circumstances, whether situational or behavioural, but these would need to be put across in an open and mature for me, as opposed to being 'laid into'.
I'm pretty sure you're the basket case.
Did you make plans then cancel or is she attention seeking by trying to get you to change your already made plans?
Carefully chosen words like 'latest conquest', posted two days ago? You should know that the no doubt carefully chosen words in that post imply that you were seeing someone too young to see Jurassic World in the cinema.
Unless you want to go into further detail, you're looking like the twat in this one.
Wait isn't Jurrasic World a 12A? :D
So you canceled (again)?
Sounds to me like Smiffy just wants us all to call him a don and marvel at his ability to attract 16 year olds.
WTF. :sick:
"The likes of you" is a bit cutting.
What's been the one constant in all your interactions with women, Smiffy?
Yep, he's heading for another breakdown here.
I don't think she's intentionally being a prick, she's just rather damaged because somebody has done similar before and it didn't end well.
.....
Why don't you want anything serious, Smiff?
Her being damaged shouldn't be a reason to break it off though.
I'm sure you'd be the first to admit that you're also damaged, albeit in a different way. Give her a chance if you like her.
You said 'laid into her'. More carefully chosen words?
I wasn't, but you did. You called someone else your 'latest conquest' two days ago, and muddied the water by talking about films you've watched/not watched with both without any specifics.
You think life's a bitch, then you marry one and realise life was fucking great...
Deep.
So i've finally managed not to fuck up one tinder conversation. Got her number a few days later, tried to take her out last week but she's a nurse so she works the graveyard shift. Fair enough I guess so we arrange for this week Wednesday. I got battered on Friday and asked her if she wanted to do brunch on Saturday, she was all over it. She suprisingly asked if I could pick her up which I did. Had a great time, she's sarcastic and funny and really cute. She's also younger than me for once which means it's a little more mind games which is fine as long as we both like each other. Going out Wednesday again for a meal then whatever. Would like to bang but might have to hold off because she's got potential.
#lifeisgood
Fucking absolute hell FAMILY CRISIS kicking off. Just when everything seemed to be rolling along nicely. I'll explain tomorrow but it's mental.
The in-laws being twats again?
No it doesn't involve me, directly. I hope it stays that way but the nature of it just tells me there is more to come. FCK me.
No, tell us now. You can't post that and then leave us hanging all night.
For fuck's sake, Magic. Leaving us hanging like that is poor form.
Indeed. You should write it all out or not say anything.
There's a lass I'm seeing on Sunday with genuine potential. Not manipulative cow lass who might not have been manipulative after all, another one. Im pretty fickle apparently. Tried everything I could in my drunken state to get her back to mine on Saturday when we were waiting for her taxi and she was keen but she said she wanted to wait. That showed some impressive mental acuity on her part as it seemed to be heading that way. Anyway seeing her Sunday. She's ace :drool:. She went to some shit hole country a few years ago to build a school with a bunch of other whites without any manual labour skills, and I just found it adorable. Screw trainee girl, this one is the real shit.
http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/07/7-ways...-facebook.html
See #2, replacing facebook with TTH
OK so it turns out my little sister's long term boyfriend (of 6 years) who we all thought of as part of the family (and who I got my jaw broken for fighting for him in an argument) has actually been stalking and harassing a girl he had an affair with so much so she's had to leave the country. So she posted this on FB and tagged his mum and dad whilst we were at the pictures and I just thought 'oh no' and right enough 41 comments later there's arguing etc.
Anyway its just really sinister. I never ever thought he'd be like that, he was really sound and we got on well. We were out last week for her birthday tea and had a pretty good time. WTF. The girl actually messaged my sister all the texts and stuff he'd been sending her and it's quite creepy I've been told. Desperate to lay my eyes on them so going round tonight. When I posted that I expected the wife to broaden her extroverted shoulders and basically spend the night there resulting in no sleep for anyone but thankfully that didn't happen. FFS. Just concerned that if he is a complete and utter lunatic what he might do now (in terms of stalking etc).
To make things worse he actually started the affair the night my grandad passed away whilst we were grieving (she's matched up the dates on the messages). He did come around later. Eurgh.
What a cunt, do his jaw in.
:handbags:
I wouldn't ever do that, too much to lose especially over something like this. Just best cutting all ties and forgetting immediately I think. It's weird though it wasn't like he was distant, he was at pretty much every family event, he took an active part in my kid's life, they looked after her, we got on well. I'm just shell shocked he's a total weirdo because honestly you would never be able to tell. We would take the piss out of freaks like him. It's just so bloody strange.
You realize the risks here, right? From what you've posted about your in-laws and extended family and what not, it seems the best course of action here is to stay completely out of it, no?
I understand the allure, mind you, of course.
LOL I'm just curious, is all. And yes I will be staying right out of it. As I say I hope that's it now and we never hear from him again. He's deleted his FB profile. He works with my father-in-law as he got him a job there. None of this makes any sense, he was in way too deep in terms of the family to pull this shit.
Gubbed for nothing.
Not for nothing, it made a good thread.
Plus I got some decent compo. :drool:
What's compo?
Compensation.
How much did you get?
And where does it come from in a situation like that?
I got 4.5k. But my dental bills were almost 1k so = :(
It came from the government criminal compensation thing for victims of violent crime.
What happened to the guy who did it?
I've no idea. I tried calling the court to find out but they made me feel like a weirdo by doing that 'lol cough, erm ok' when I told them I was THE VICTIM so I told them to fuck off and hung up.
That's mental, but posting stuff on Facebook is just attention-seeking plebbery
Christ the girl has gone to the police about his stalking and my sister has phoned his boss and told him everything.
1000th post. :cool:
Magic this is worthy of it's own, live reporting thread, I think. You have a real opportunity here.
I was hoping for some live drama on Facebook the other day when a post belonging on Jeremy Kyle appeared but it was quickly deleted and I was denied my fun.
Stop being a fucking Magic, John. Did you screenshot it at least?
Was talking to potential tinder girl on the phone yesterday and she started saying "she isn't controlling" I half joked around and said "funny you say that, most the girls i've dated have said that, only to change and become controlling". She somehow came up with the conclusion that it's probably my fault for them being controlling and that it brought out some red flags.
Oh my. So tomorrow flirty powerful ex colleague is picking me up to go back to her flat with her sister and her smoking primary school teacher friend. We'll be there for an hour before the taxi picks us up to meet the rest of the crew at the beer festival.
This can only end well.
:eyemouth:
Married life, eh.
:(
Well...that was hilariously shit. The lecturer friend was giving me looks the whole night and pulled me up to dance, I said the usual 'oh I'm rubbish at dancing lol' and she instantly went cold and sat back down and didn't look at me for about an hour. Then she dragged me up to dance again to Scottish Country Dancing shite and I said the same then she said it's fine neither can I and it was ok because she needed a partner. Then we got the taxi back and she was like 'you can get another taxi from mine' chat because the other girls lived in the opposite direction, and 'you can come up and have a cuppa, my house is a mess but it's fine' etc. To be fair I was tempted because the other girls chat was fucking shite about Tinder and dating and stuff. However I asked them if they minded dropping me off and they said no problem so I just went with that. Let her out and she never said bye or anything. What a fucking freak, no time for that shit. I'm married and have a kid so who does she think she is trying to get it on. Fuck her.
Bottled it. :nono:
Fair play Magic.
Better when there's no witnesses.
Right thing to do. Just have a belting wank later while thinking about what could've been. I had a close(ish) shave at a christmas do a few years ago, and the relief I felt the next day was enourmous.
Has anyone on here ever cheated on their wife/girlfriend?
I haven't but then I've never done a long term relationship and instead keep going on first dates. :(
I have a date on Tuesday and she seems lovely and also keen, so we'll see how that goes.
I never have. I'd be absolutely devastated to find out I'd been betrayed so I can't really bring myself to do it. I love flirting though just because it makes you feel good, I'd never follow it up even if there was absolutely no chance of anyone finding out.
I fully trust the wife as well, I think you have no choice otherwise you end up consumed by paranoia, fear and hate. More fool me if she does backstab me.
When I got home I went upstairs and kissed my daughter on the head, is a cheeky fuck worth losing everything?
Also if I was too drunk to control myself I definitely wouldn't be looking to shag anyone, I pride myself on performance. I've never screwed whilst being wasted.
Nah, not felt the need to yet. I think you've got be some sort of a wanker to do it in a long term relationship.
If you feel the need to fuck somebody else it's time to knock it on the head anyway. I could easily have gone back with fit accountant a few weeks back (my cock wanted me to) but you'd have to be a massive cunt to go through with it. I couldn't cope with hurting somebody that much.
Me and Lauren are genuinely on the mend now, incidentally. Very happy that I didn't choose just to end it.
SvN has got the right method imo. Wouldn't ever cheat but that tactic is an important one.
Met up with my last serious girlfriend today. Hadn't seen her in 5 months or so and it was really nice. We hoped that we'd be able to be good friends again because we were close friends before we got together and lasted 3 years and we split amicably. I needed a while to get my head straight first though. Was worried about how itd be but it was really great just catching up. Feel like I've gained a friend as I thought for ages I wouldnt be able to get to that stage.
In other news, got with a lass on Friday night and seeing her for a drink on Thursday. She said after we agreed to meet that its not a date as she's not properly over her last boyfriend, so there you go.
That's it, really. I know a guy who has been going out with the same girl since he was like 14, and he's cheated on her multiple times. Everyone knows (including people like me, a friend-of-a-friend or acquaintance at best) except the girlfriend. She's his first girlfriend, the girl he lost his virginity to, but he's constantly getting pissed and phoning up our mutual friend telling him he's going to dump her, this time he's serious, she's really annoying and stupid and they have nothing in common etc etc. Then the next day he laughs it off. Just break up with her you cunt. They'll almost certainly end up married, and he's almost certainly going to keep fucking other girls. It is fucking gross.
People who decide to have their cake and eat it must either be cowards or sociopaths. Probably both. We both went on a night out with a group of mutual friends, and he was trying to set up a girl we know with his mate that we didn't know. We only found out later that said mate had a fiance waiting for him at home. What the fuck?! I'm compulsive and a cunt, but I find it pretty easy to not fucking cheat on people. Fuck sake.
I personally couldn't deal with the potential of grief and being swallowed by my own paranoia waiting round every corner. That's probably a selfish reason never to cheat but does it really matter? I'm certainly not going to high horse it and say I only have eyes for one woman etc. Life is hard enough with one SWT.
I've never cheated, but then I've never been presented with the opportunity. I still don't believe I would succumb, as I know the overwhelming feeling of guilt after the deed would consume me.
I struggle enough to find one girl who is agreeable to sleeping with me that I can't fathom the idea of there being two. Let alone at the same time. That ven diagram intersection must be pretty fucking small.
A friend of mine who was a complete dog on his Mrs used to always say that there was no riding better than riding you shouldn't be doing. It was hard to feel sympathy at his devastation when he discovered she thought along the same lines though.
I had a similar experience. One of my friends would cheat on his missus every week without fail when we went out. Eventually one of her mates saw him, and she dumped him. I struggled to resist laughing in his face when the tears over pints in the pub came.
She's good looking, talkative and quite fiery.
All of these things are good and she said she will see me again, which is an added bonus. Think I've been on about 5 or 6 first dates this year and never got a second date out of any of them, so this is new and pleasant territory. :D
You've jinxed it now, you tit.
It'll be alright. I still haven't deleted Tinder, so I can always go back and graft on that should it all end in tears.
Hey *insert name*!
How are you?
blah blah blah, you?
Yeah, I'm really good cheers. Whereabouts are you from?
:moop:
It's gotten tedious now.
Have you thought about trying Grindr?
Cheating is for cunts. Just end it.
I find it far too hard dealing with one woman, the thought of more than one nut case demanding my time is the stuff of nightmares.
Hi, my name's Ben. I like long walks along the beach, romantic novels and nothing more than snuggling up watching Peak Practice with a hot chocolate.
http://www.rowdytalk.com/images/smilies/bananas.gif
Yeah, I reckon I jinxed it. :D
I obviously need to get better at first dates.
Where's Panda when you need him?
I'd find it a bit creepy if somebody I didn't actually know started their message with "Hey Toby, how are you?"
'Is that your real head?'
Interests:
Correcting other peoples' mistakes.
If you didn't notice, swipe left bitches.
Bitch wife just moaned the pus off me so I fought back, she told be to stay down here for a bit which is no big deal. She went through to the kitchen and screamed so I thought I'd really upset her. Turns out she just stood on a big ass slug and it sprayed everywhere. Now she needs me, the whore.
Also had 6AM sex this morning. Scenes.
Me and girl I talked about earlier in the thread are making leaps and bounds. It's about 3 weeks and we're all over each other. Her mum is coming into town, and she asked if I wanted to see her... I said it should be up to her to decide whether I want to meet her mum. A few seconds of silence and she was like "Yeah, I want you to meet her". So I guess we're doing lunch sometime next week.
If their was some sort of rule book code for relationships i'm sure we've broken every single rule. We're moving in super speed and we've talked about how fast we're moving but we decided that if we both like each other this much and we enjoy spending time together then why shouldn't we?
Oh and I also haven't done the deed yet. So it makes it even more brilliant that we're enjoying each others company. She claims to like me so much that she doesn't want me for just sex. I've never had such severe blue balls in my life.
inb4 you lose interest after having sex with her. :baz:
I don't think so. I've got several scratches on my back and that's just been from teasing her. Could be on to a winner here :wub:
Has anyone heard from mahow in Ukraine?
He actually went there?
:face:
Then I'm missing the joke here I'm afraid? :(
Really? Did you meet the camgirl yet?
Toggle Spoiler
Maz I'm amazed you know about the internet.
If AE marries a Mormon. :cool:
Exciting times. Can you set up a thread and live-blog the fuck out of this? Have you set up a meeting yet?
Maz, my sweet prince. :(
'How was still trying to pretend it was all a ruse last time it was mentioned.
Maz trolling is pretty amusing. :)
It isn't.
Wife's libido is through the roof recently since coming off the pill. Broadening her horizons as well in terms of what she wears in the bedroom and sending me intimate pictures. I can barely keep up.
Interesting the impact the pill has.
Share the wealth.
No, it's more like she just doesn't want this to be about sex, and honestly she has a point. Spending time with her and getting to know her before sex has made our feelings even stronger. That's not to say every time I'm with her I don't want to take her clothes off and smash her. We're both similar in the fact that our previous relationships have been pretty meaningless sex. So it's good to actually want someone.
God, no.
I'm coming to realise how unbelievably fickle I am. I seem to be infatuated with a different person every couple of weeks, and get bored once I get to know them better.
After your sexual adventures. Going on a date would probably be less exciting.
Sick Giggles. What a burn.
Don't you need to be sportingly inclined to get a letterman jacket?
:henn0rz:
I think it's more than fickleness. I seem to idealise someone to an extent that they can never live up to, and I'm then disappointed when I get to know them and they inevitably fall short of what I build them up as. I've never done this dating thing much before - all my relationships have just developed from close friendships - so I'm not used to just chilling out and rolling with it.
All in time mate, all in time. Point of withholding is to develop other feelings that aren't sex. I've had so much meaningless sex, that it's actually a good change for once. When we do get to that eventual point, it'll actual mean something.
I will also last a good 5 secs.
Ahhh, that's what a letterman jacket is. Those gimpy things. I thought it had something to do with the talkshow host.
They are sort of dead as a concept though, at least here. To "letter" in a sport is purely symbolic these days.
Me and the missus looked at venues the other day for the reception and where to actually have the thing. We're hoping today to get the confirmation on that and we have to wait until November to book the church but it's absolutely superb - https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped..._estrela_1.jpg
When should we be expecting our invites?
Wait, you have to 'earn' those jackets? I thought you just bought them in the bookstore or something.
Pretty sure you can just buy them, but your probably sneered at by the other band camp members.
I think to get a legitimate letterman's jacket you have to take the letter certificate you get to some wanky store and they get it for you. But I could be wrong, maybe you can just buy knockoffs.
I gave my senior jersey to my ex girlfriend. Oh how I wish I didn't :(
:harold:
Rookie mistake to give something you actually care about to a girlfriend.
It was, but at that point I thought I was going to marry that girl. The girl in question is married now, you think she'd give it back?
She'll have binned it ages ago, mate.
It's probably her husband's jizz rag by now.
That's not very nice is it? She could've asked if I wanted it back.
Edit: I know she's doing some mission trip in Guatemala for a couple of years now. So wouldn't actually be surprised if some orphans got it.
Finally lads :cool:
Alb. :cool:
Quality mate. Honestly thought she would have binned it.
I hope you wore a jacket.
Did you do it SincereTheRebel style with socks on?
People actually bother to take their socks off?
A man in socks and nothing else is probably one of the most hideous sights there is.
Seen many Boyd?
Flashbacks of his uncle.
You've never been naked but for your socks and thought 'ugh, this is the most disgusting I've ever looked'?
I love the missus more than ever now as I managed to bin my wallet at the shop and without her asking me to put some money on her account I'd still be none the wiser. All well now as I just got back from getting it from the bin I left it in.
You put your wallet in the bin? Always knew you were a bit special.
I was packing the things I had and managed to brush the wallet in to the bin with my back pack. I heard something drop, but as my gloves were still there I thought I just imagined it. My card was cancelled this week as someone tried to copy it too, so I was carrying about a 100€ in cash. I did feel a bit special once I realised I had just binned all my money :face:
I raise you: http://theoatmeal.com/pl/minor_differences4/shirt
Alb 0/
A girl in socks and nothing else, on the other hand, is intensely erotic. Insane.
Are you trying to be mert now?
There's nothing Merty about that at all.
Unless he starts lecturing you on how to beat your chest properly (make remarks about her dads socks or something) to reach said state of quasi-undress.
Long socks and NOTHING else. Cmon benjamin you have to indulge your fantasies sometimes. Dont tell me that's not hot
A young lady once sat on my lap wearing only a shirt and her pants, but because the shirt was a really grotty and really big misshapen brown polo-shirt with the logo of the local village pub it had pretty much the opposite response to what she was going for.
Shitting himself and then getting a pizza plus the guy shoving loads of food down his underwear :cab:
The rest aren't that mental tbh.
Quote:
He requested that I turn on his webcam feed and publicly humiliate his tiny penis in my room of 100 people. He said he loved my big teeth.
That's the first two. They are mental, there's no other word for it.Quote:
I did get one guy who wanted me to set up a session outside with my car in which I repeatedly failed to start it, with the cam particularly focusing on the hair on my arms. The cam session would end when my car finally started.
So glad I bottled it and didn't finish things when I was feeling shit a while back. Things between us are as good as they've ever been. And the sex. :drool:
Does she wear her socks in bed?
She does not.
Remember when you all laughed at my wife's home spray tanning salon thing, well she's got her first client tonight, not a hottie by any stretch of the imagination. She's practice. However the wife has extremely hot mates, who have even hotter mates, and they are all well up for coming here, in to my house, to get naked. I am fucking SALIVATING at the thought.
On a scale of 1-10 on how tempted I am to invest in a GoPro and set it up in my office/salon I'd say it's at about 3,000,000. I'm only put off at the initial outlay of the 1080p ones.
In fact, fuck it, the mere thought is enough to probably make me cum without a boner. I'll definitely have to whack one out when they're upstairs.
This the first I'd seen of Mrs Magic's spray tanning antics but that you allow that to happen in your house (for very good perving reasons in fairness) blows apart any future claims of being middle class. Still, being working class amd having half naked women in your house is definitely a better deal so fair play.
Half naked? Mate this is full on naked.
Can I come round?
If it was half naked I'd be excited but this is flaps and all. And I bet they have absolutely ethereal poons.
Sexual assault is legal in your own house right? There's no laws like vampires about being invited in etc?
How does this 'salon' work? Can you get cams in? Get 'How to mod it.
It's my office with a spray tent in it. Lol.
Since it's your office I reckon you have the right to demand you stay there while they're naked. I'm sure they wouldn't mind you wanking to their silhouettes.
It's an open tent mate. You're such a fucking amateur. Go and do Lauren's hair or something you soft cunt.
When she starts earning more than you and kicks you out of the house. :drool:
That's probably what this is, isn't it? Setting up a business on the side so she'll have enough money when she kicks you out.
She's on about moving me in to the cupboard downstairs and claiming my entire office. It's not good, lads. Still worth a sacrifice for an accidental 'GOD THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE' burst in then say 'oh false alarm'. Hopefully get a peak at some heavenly breasts glistening in fake tan.
'I've got it all set up, girls. It's just upstairs in the...'
*looks right at Magic*
'SPARE BEDROOM.'
Man the ABC thread.
Did I tell you guys I found a wad of cash in her jewelery dresser thing? No? Oh that's for another time.
I wonder if I could drill spy holes, our bedroom is adjacent to my office.
Take the cash Magic, just to see how badly she wanted it secret.
You're blatantly going to have a go at this and turn up to work like Tango Man.
I queried it, she just told me it was an emergency fund in case we split up. She'll need it to be fair because her cards are getting cancelled if we do.
She'll kick him out for the duration, so he'll spend the night rage-posting off his phone from a pub somewhere.
I could meet up with Waff and tell him in no uncertain terms not to get married when he's 21.
She has a 'Leaving Magic' fund? That's outstanding. :D
Nows a great time to float the idea of a threesome.
No harm in the cameras if she's leaving you anyway.
If you have a computer in this room, just leave the webcam recording. Easy.
It really is unsettling how many mrgreens appear every time I reveal something about our relationship.
Use her hidden stash to buy a GoPro
The CIA and GCHQ are probably watching anyway. Why let them have all the fun?
Live Twitch feed anyone?
Obviously Magic losing his wife would be terrible for him but it could be great for the board. Imagine the traffic we could generate with a decent liveblogging.
Maybe offy will do it for you.
Pressure. It's becoming insmountable.
My girlfriend and I are in a rocky patch atm. In the next week or so I've got to extend our living together for another year. I've also got to book a holiday, one which I neither have the funds or desire to do. Add to that she admitted openly to wanting a child by the age of 32 (currently 29) and inevitably wants to move back home to be closer to her family.
I have no one to talk to about this since we know all the same people. My head feels like it's going to fucking implode.
Do you definitely not want children? If so, then you need to be unselfish and break up with her.
I'm not against children. It's the expectation of it all that's getting to me.
Sacrifices my friend, my girlfriend is the same age (29) and wishes for kids in the impending future. She already lives close to home and nowhere near mine, she won't ever leave but I do want kids with her, tis the sacrifice you have to make, as an example. If you unable to do that, then call it quits now.
Can anyone suggest date ideas to me please? I can only think of bowling and the nearest one is over an hour away. We're already going for sumart to eat and do not want to go to the cinema. At a loss, really.
A trip to the solicitor to discuss your impending divorce.
Serious answer - how about a salsa dancing class or something like that?
I really don't get the whole 'date night' thing.
For fuck's sakes, Magic the pretend snob going bowling. :D
I get the need to spend time away from kids (if you have them) and spend some quality time together but the thought of doing an activity for forced fun would make me cringe until I turned inside out. What's wrong with dinner and a couple of drinks or something you actually do enjoy together before forcing it?
Make it something cheap, she won't want to blow all of her escape fund.
There must be a laser quest in Dundee.
I might be risking the ire of John (and everyone else) by posting another tangentially related youtube video, but here's a song about Magic's life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htvhw6Dd1q4
Nostalgia usually involves something you remember. If you're asking us for suggestions there's unlikely to be much nostalgia involved.
Go to the theatre or a comedy club.
Comedy clubs are good, especially if it's a night with lots of shorter acts as it allows a mixture of conversation time and entertainment that you don't get at the cinema (or theatre). Maybe in short supply outside of bigger cities though.
A hot Spanish woman gave me her phone number at a party recently, and I've made very tentative plans to meet her, but I don't think she realises I'm 23 (she's 35) so I feel a bit guilty. She also lives miles away from where I do, and it feels very much like a casual 'well drop me a text if you're in town and we can meet up', and as my other mate that lives there is busy it would be slightly freakazoid behaviour to go all that way to probably have one pint.
A hot older Spanish woman wants your willy and you won't go meet her?
I possibly will, but she lives in a city many miles from where I live, and the vibe was of something casual if I just happened to be there to see other friends, rather than organising anything more solid. I think she'd be freaked out if I went all the way there just to see her, and I'm really rubbish at lying. I'll text her again today hinting that I might not have anywhere to stay as a way to gauge her interest levels.
You think you'll freak her out with the suggestion that you're only there to see her, but unmistakably hinting that you want to stay with her overnight is fine? Unless she gave off a lunatic vibe I think you've got that backwards.
Tell her you were planning to travel through to see a mate from uni or something, but he's had to cancel and you already had your train booked. Low maintenance lie and it doesn't look as though you were traveling just to see her.
Looks like it's the fucking cinema. Again. :moop:
That's pretty excellent advice, cheers John. Believe it or not, my intention wasn't to imply I wanted to go back to hers, but rather let her know that my original plans had been curtailed so I would only be there to see her. Which, reading it back, makes very little sense. It is all a bit confusing and annoying, because I have a good friend who lives in that city, but he's being really funny about me visiting, obstructive even. I think he fancies her himself.
So that's a thing - she'll assume immediately that the person I meant to see originally was our mutual friend, and she could quite easily chat to him and find out he wasn't actually busy. That could create tedious drama.
What City is it?
I can understand date nights when you've got kids. You spend so much time with them and with each other that it's good to section off a bit off time just for each other.
Not even en route to my Gorgie palace.
Spanish lass I was seeing was from Leeds. Similar age though.
She's probably 'hot' in the way that those videos he posts are 'funny' and 'relevant'.
If you don't inform me when you're around next so we can have the weirdest, most awkward tth meet ever, I'll phone up Robbie Neilson and tell him the bloke who plugs the phones in and stuff has been wanking in the stationery cupboard.
And it really fucking is, though I am coming back up north from the midlands, so it is like....vaguely in the right direction, but adds about 2 hours to my journey.
Me and Magic talked about meeting when he came to see THE MIGHTY LEEDS but it never happened. I imagine he'd want to go to the swingers club.
I'd suggest somewhere better that's nearby but there's not many places right by Tynecastle. Just get a sandwich from Sainsbury's and eat it in my front room watching me play fifa. Or walk a bit further towards town, and there's loads of decent places even 5 minutes away. 'Burger' is pretty cheap for a brioche bun hipstery place.
I might be TTH's biggest meet BOTTLER.
I've met 11 of you (well, ten plus Jord). Has anyone else got such a total? Kiko seems to get about town.
I saw an Indian version of Baz once.
I'm counting that.
I met however many there was last year. 7 others I think.
Kiko
Benny
Judgie (was that the dude's name on here? I'm shit with names)
Hydrosyphilis
Simon
Taz
Raoul
Judgie. :D
Rushie, Hammer. Rushie.
Judgie. :D
We also need to sort the kickabout for the Euro's. Somebody needs to track Taz down.
Floyd (twice)
Luca
'Jord'
Amigo (half)
Randrew
I also spotted Richie looking like Big Bird outside of an exam but didn't want him to bail and miss it.
I only get 6 TTH'ers with one of them being Tudor in Romania :D (that must be the most exotic meet so far).
I've been getting grief from the missus that I spend too much time playing futsal/football/floorball. Fair enough that at the moment I'm still in a ten day period where I have something every day, but it's not like I can start skipping games and training and still keep playing. I think she expects too much of my time, even though she obviously comes first, that doesn't mean I don't have other social and sporting commitments.
There was a user called Judgie absolutely yonks ago. Like around 2005/6. He might have been one of the FM Gamer lot at the time of that merge.
I think he was
Tthirl
I'm pretty sure I once saw Boom in Sainsburys so I'm claiming that one.
Bowling in Dunfermline it is. No doubt we'll have a fight on the way there and every bowl will be delivered with maximum seethe.
Is it not a bit of a trek from Dundee to Dunfermline just to go bowling?
Yes, it's about an hour as away. :D
However I don't pay for my fuel so why the fuck not? If she didn't get travel sick so easily I'd be driving all over the UK to do random and pointless shit.
I've met @DC.
Plus I once saw Mahow when I was pretending to be from Kashmir.
Wait, so we could get a possible meet up of Hammer, Igor, Magic and me - fucking hell.
I've met Elth, Luca, Kiko, Jimmy, Taz, GS, Hammer, Draper, James, Sama, Benny and all the other crew who came to football.
Should have done the cinema. No interaction then.
Did a football meet actually happen? And GS went? :D
I've only met the lads from the weekly Norwich meets.
Is anyone Manchester based?
I'd definitely be game, just for the comedic value of me, hammer and leedsrev stood next to each other. It would be like when ted, dougal and jack did the three ages of elvis, except for the lead singer of keane.
I've gotten really fat as well so we could all have a laugh about that. :drool:
Bowling is shit. Dunfermline is atrocious.
Yeah we had a good time. Highly recommends escaping reality as often as possible.
Waking up at the inlaws to discover more inlaws are coming round just to see me. Christ. Does anyone know any jokes?
What did you get Magic? I scored a PB of 129 the other day :cool:
I can't even remember. Below 80 I think.
'You're letting me win. Stop it!'
*imploding because he isn't*
I actually was proper seething. I did nail the only strike, but that was little consolation. I convinced her to play me for 30 mins at pool and I potted the black three times. :D
Had to give a proper hiding to get my manhood back.
I'm terrible at bowling, so I tend to wow people by being equally good with my left and right hand, and switching between them in the same go. The Koreans thought I was some sort of wizard for this even though they all beat me by 50 points.
Below 80? Just swallow your pride and put the barriers up mate.
One of the last times I went bowling I was about 14 years old, and pretty much all of my similarly aged school mates had the bumpers up. I thought it was some sort of wind up or something. And no, it wasn't a school for developmentally challenged kids or anything.
I'm shocking at bowling so I launch the ball as fast as I possibly can at the pins.
When it actually connects with some pins :drool:
165 PB here. :cool:
Never tried it. The shoes always put me off.
Bit fancy?
Tying those laces is just showing off.
Yes of course it's that.
Can someone else mention the shoes for me? I'll PM the details if needed. Cheers.
I didn't have to wear fancy shoes at that one.
I don't think any bowling alley these days make you wear bowling shoes.
Ever since Giggles revealed he's a filthy 48 year old van driver his posts make so much more sense.
The last time I went bowling was at a hotel in Poland that we were staying at.
The holes in the bowling balls were too small for my sausage fingers :(
Steady on, Geoff Capes.
Without going into the details of how I found out, I discovered on Saturday that two of my married friends have profiles on Ashley Madison. One has a long history of cheating and the way he and his missus go about I suspect they're swingers anyway. Potentially with the other friend and his wife, considering they have a hot tub (sorry, but hot tubs are seedy).
So this is one of those things I can't tell anyone what I know because of how I found it out. This is why I'm telling judgement-free TTH.
You've got to tell us how you found out now.
Hot tubs really are seedy. :D
Hotels with hot tubs must have so much jizz circulating in them.
Obviously he's got a Madison account.
Reminds me of this hotel I stayed in when in Buffalo:
http://www.engaygedweddings.com/imag...moon-suite.jpg
Humbly self-referred to as the most beautiful hotel in the world.
Jesus, didn't realize that a fair few of you have actually met.
Glad I'm not alone on the hot tub issue.
Now in an equally seedy admission, I signed up to Ashley Madison as my wife as a sort of social experiment. I didn't use her picture, just one that vaguely fit her description. Made her a bit older too. I was just curious to see what sort of attention women get on these things (quite a lot, as it goes). That is how I discovered the two friends on there. One was stupid enough to use his nickname (an extension of his surname) and the other tried to use a blurred out photo, but it was blatantly obvious it was him.
I've deleted the account now. Curiosity not only killed but dismembered and disfigured afterwards as well.
So were your two friends hitting on your wife?
He's one step away from dressing up as a woman and tricking his best friend in to fucking him blindfolded with the lights off.
This thread (both versions) has easily been the most consistently funny out of the lot.
Ah, the gold that's been posted on TTH in the name of social experiments.
Brilliant. That's exactly the kind of demented thing I'd do, Mo. When I set up an okcupid account a few years ago it took me about 5 minutes to change the search settings to 'men looking for women' in the same age range and location as me to see if I could find any mates on there. When I did find a friend I immediately felt really embarrassed and guilty and regretted doing it.
Haha, good to know I'm not the only nutter to do this sort of thing.
@GS - it has ended, no-one is the wiser. Thankfully said friends did not try and hit on the profile I'd made. Nothing there to identify that it could have been my wife.
Some girl has asked me to the school dance. #winning
Went to the fet club again yesterday with a lass I've been chatting to for the last couple of weeks. We spent 3 hours with her being the 'domme' and me doing whatever she wanted (within agreed limits). Was fun, though I was fucking drained afterwards. Went to bed last night at about half 9 and slept for 12 hours. We're planning on meeting up again in the next couple of weeks.
I've also got a date with a lass from work tomorrow. She's really lovely so I'm hopeful about that. Obviously the above lady will have to get knocked on the head if it progresses, but I've told her that yesterday and she was fine with it, as we both know it's just a bit of fun and nothing serious.
Only question is, if things go well with the lass from work (who I genuinely like and want something with) when/whether to tell her about all that other stuff. I'd like to tell her that I'm interested in it, but in honesty it's not an essential part of me or anything - it's just fun - so I can live without it. I'd probably tell her once we know each other quite well, but be chill about it.
So, anyway, I was down the fetish club last week . . .
/playingitcool
:D
I was thinking if things go well and the subject of BDSM ever comes up, I'll mention that I've explored it a fair bit and just take it from there. The main thing is to not feel ashamed of it, which I'm not. If I act like it's something terrible that I'm hugely ashamed of then that feeling is likely to get projected onto her. If I just say it normally and invite any questions, then I imagine it'd be alright even if she wasn't interested in it herself. I imagined my friends might freak out a bit over it but most have either (a) been curious and full of questions, or (b) not given a shit. Either way, it's not been seen as a big deal at all by anyone.
I can't ever tell if your serious if it's just one of those I can say/do anything on the internet sort of thing. Nevertheless, credit to yourself for being open to liking something like that, don't understand it all personally but each to there own.
Nah I am serious.
I find it best to be open as any stigma with it is a bad thing, and the best way of tackling that is just talking about it normally, as far as I see. I went through about ten years of denial before I even acknowledged I wanted to explore it, so I figure just chatting openly is good in case anyone else is in the same boat. I think it was my own ego that caused it but I imagined people being freaked out and it affecting relationships and stuff, but people so far just don't care enough for it to bother them. All I've had is a few questions about it, although I've only told a handful of close friends so far (and you lot) - I'm not really bothered about bringing it up out of the blue with people to make a point or anything like. With a proper romantic relationship it might be a bit of an issue though, I dunno.
If you don't mind me asking what kind of thing takes place during 3 hours of domination in a night club?
Eek.
I'll PM you later if you want.
No, that's ok, your reaction confirms enough.
Just came back from a 4 day vacation in Florida.
The girlfriend needs to go get her dog from day care and some food for us. So I call a breakfast place and order carry out food. She gets mad that I don't know her number, and use mine ( she's the one picking it up). Then also she got me one of those keurig coffee makers for my birthday. She asks if I can make her hot chocolate for breakfast and I say "yes I can" this is when she gets even more pissed off because I didn't sound enthusiastic about making her hot chocolate...
She then stomps out of the apartment with her last words being " do whatever you like"
So I'm here contemplating if I should even bother making hot chocolate.
It sounds like 'hot chocolate for breakfast' meant something else.
:D
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IC_PMsmHpx...0/progeria.jpg
Hammer getting his asshole fisted.
:D
She didn't touch my arsehole, as it happens. Neither for that nor to get Postma'd.
Having met you, Hammer, it's quite a disturbing image of you exploring BDSM.
http://i.imgur.com/3bln9RV.jpg
Fucking hell :D
Well that's a bit retarded. Its something Ive dipped into once very few weeks; it's not a daily habit or anything close to it.
That said, i do think it can get addictive. There's a high you get from it and a level if escapism which I think appeals to some in the scene to an extent that they genuinely do seem to want it 24/7, which to me does seem unhealthy. The analogy to drugs is a good one.
I don't know if I should provide a backstory to my relationfails or if I should just jump in flaps deep into describing how the latest one imploded.
To summarize, a 4 month relationship with a female friend of 3 years ended with me being told "the only reason I let you fist me was so I could feel something". It feels like it is a new low. Feels worse than the taxi fare-shambles, false pregnancy shambles and being told about the crazy rape/murder/escort confessions on a first date.
It's not easy being single after a 4 month relationfail. Loneliness, no intimacy, even my wifi connection hasn't went down on me for the last 3 days. Shit joke, but I have to deflect somehow.
Grim.
I lolled at that wifi joke. Chin up, Chrissy.
Date tonight went well. We just had a drink and then a meal at a gastropub in Leeds. Nothing too full on. Was lovely though actually. We ended up just chatting and a couple of hours went by in no time. Both said we had a very nice time (she said it first: bosh) and that we'll do summat again soon. Fucking A. I think she's proper lovely :drool:
Only potensh thing is that we work together, which could get iffy if it were to go tits up, but whatever. Its a big office and we could avoid each other easily enough if we were on opposite sides of it.
Have you ordered the his and hers ball gags yet?
Anal plugs are already in the post.
Potensh by several orders of magnitude.
"Potensh," by a distance, because it's the reprieve of Starbucks-guzzling prima donnas as opposed to just "something the kids say." Also, one would actually say "potensh" out loud, whereas "rents" is just Internet slang.
I've been to Starbucks once in my life. Totes would never go again.
People say "rents" in spoken conversation? I've heard "potensh" out loud, but never "rents" outside of text messages. Get yourself out of the Shetlands.
What does 'rents' mean?
Wait nevermind.
What does 'rents' means?
Hang on, is it "parents"? For fuck's sake Simon (and the British in general if what Toby says is true).
I love doing stuff like that.
Though situash was the worst I've heard.
The 'goys' lot here love coming out with shit like that.
I only initially used 'potensh' as a joke but I use it so much now - online and in person - that I don't even know if I'm being ironic anymore.
If that's not ban-worthy then my faith in this place is shattered.
Even though he's doing it ironically for a laugh, Richard Osman saying 'totez amazeballs' makes me want to kick things.
People telling Richard Osman he was funny really ruined Pointless.
Exactly right. He is a pretty cool, funny guy as far as non-comedians go, but he definitely thinks him and 'Xander' are a brilliant double-act now. Their meandering self-consciously surreal riffs on breeds of dog and capital cities are unbearable. 'IT'S LOCKDOWN!!!!!! AHAHA IT IS REALLY EXCITING'. Mate, I'm going to put the fucking studio under lockdown and not let you out until you promise to stop telling shit jokes.
Met up with ex last night, who has apparently recently been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and is on medication. Shiiiit.
I only met up with her so she could fill in the reference section of my BACP application but we ended up having a long chat, as we usually do. I need to keep in mind that I'm not fucking responsible for her. That's the main thing.
Did you rim her too?
Nope. I did mention all that though, which felt a bit like showing off because we'd only ever talked about it.
Just catching up. You mentioned that you rimmed someone to her? :D
I'd love to know how you'd just drop that into a conversation with your ex.
No, I meant the fetish stuff in general. I didn't go into that much detail.
So you did rim someone?
Male or female? Or should the question be MTF or FTM?
.....
Asking a mentally ill ex who you could neither diagnose nor help to give you a reference for the BACP is only slightly more mental than asking an ex of any kind for a reference of any kind.
'I'm not fucking responsible for your wellbeing. Could you give me a good writeup for the counseling job I'm after?'
A wanker.
We've stayed friends and we're on very good terms. We're both adults, so I don't see a problem with it. I don't know anyone in Leeds long enough for anyone else to do the reference. The main issue is that I still probably know her better than anyone else, as she opened up to me on stuff she hadnt mentioned to others and we're still really close when we meet up, so when we talk about it I want to help her. Because I know her, but obviously also the whole therapist counsellor thing. But we're exes, so even though we're close I'm wary of basically being that main person for her to rely on, which I don't think would be a good thing at all, all things considered.
Not sure what the hell you're blithering on about with diagnosing her, and I think i helped her a lot when we were together. I think she's likely to struggle in one way or another for the rest of her life, in honesty, as there's a lot of very deep rooted stuff there. Hope im wrong though.
Edit: It feels like youre making an effort to see something that isn't there, to be honest.
The girlfriend has gone to her works do tonight wearing an overtly racy black number. I may be forced make a trip to her office in the near future, vest n all.
You'll have to spy on her mate. Catch her in the act.
You cunt. :D
If her looks are as exciting as your personality you have fuck all to worry about. :dance:
edit: actually nah i know people who know this place, probably not the best idea
Edited but didn't delete the post.
Begging for attention, poor move.
He spilled his guts at a party and made a twat of himself.
Going Full Corrigan should enter everyone's lexicon immediately.
Lewis with a pretty succinct and accurate description. I didn't mean to be all mysterious and shit, I just changed my mind about sharing it and thought outright deleting it slightly less graceful somehow. Probably should have kept my shit story to myself in the first place. inb4 magic tells me to apply that to all my posts
Pics of the lass.
Aww you can't do that. This is TTH, the place where nothing is too near the knuckle, and taboo doesn't exist.
You flange.
Would have been better if he'd deleted it as at least I could have read it.
That's the real power in TTH lads.
Went on a second date with lass from work and it all went swimmingly. There were times when talking to her that it occurred to me that she may be the hottest person in the world. Long story short is that she's fucking lovely, and I know we're only on our second date and im careful not to get ahead of myself but I see us growing old together.
You can read stuff people have edited too, phonics.
fuck sake
Well now I feel left out.
It wasn't all that interesting. This fuss is more than it deserved.
Yeah it was just a shite story that I got needlessly paranoid about. I've just remembered everything is hidden to non-members anyway, and even my mates wouldn't be weird enough to sign up just to see what I've been saying.
I got stood up last night.
Still raging about it now.
:console:
I'm away from my wife for a week starting tonight. It's probably the longest we've been apart in about 8 years. We worked out that in December, we're apart more than we're together, due to various work commitments and the fact that we're spending Christmas apart.
Is the house in your name?
How long should I wait to ask this lass out I'm dating?
It's a weird one. We've only been on two official 'dates' and I feel like that's too soon but because we're chatting to each other every day at work, so we know each other a lot better than two dates would suggest.
If you like her, ask her out you flange.
Did you even read my post? I said initially that we'd been out on dates already :nono:
Yes I read ask out as in "become official". Was I wrong?
Yeah I guess it worded that a bit daft. Just need to chat to her basically.
What are you worried about? Being too keen?
I've never spent Xmas with our lass, usually say our goodbyes (and other business) on the 23rd then don't see her till after the new year
Then again, that might not mean much if you actually have that ageing disease.
Yeah I guess so. Never been out with anyone that even comes close to her level of hotness too, so I guess I'm a bit nervous there, strangely enough. I happy enough with my looks generally but she is fucking ridiculous. Like, holy shit. Lovely too, obviously. Feel like there's proper chemistry there.
It's not as though it's a proper all or nothing thing anyway. If she's not ready for that we can just carry on as before if we're both enjoying it and see how it goes. The yes/no stage was with asking her out in the first place, and she's seemed keen since. She seems keen in general really, I'm just uncertain about the timing of it.
You want to make it a relationship after two dates, Hammer? Have you slept together yet?
Nope. My point was that we work together so know each other a lot better than 'two dates' suggests. It's pretty quiet at the moment so we're chatting for a good hour or two a day
At least go on three or four more dates and have sex before you think about making it 'official' or whatever.
What's the rush? You're far more likely to send her running for the hills by floating the idea of a relationship before you've even seen each other naked than you are by waiting a little while and going on a few more dates.
PM pics Hammer, you fucking tease
Never gonna happen.
Let it happen naturally, Hammer.
Get her on a webcam.
PM, mate, I said PM.
Christ Hammer. Sort yourself out mate. I haven't got laid in god knows how long and even I wouldn't pull a move that desperate.
Are you still going to the Fetish Club between seeing her?
Does she even know that you like a good rimming by a rubber fist? I'd imagine that could be a deal breaker.
Hammer are you 12?
You've been on 2 dates and now want to make it facebook official xxx.
An old TTH phrase is perfect for what you should do; play it cool.
What if she has a set of flappy wings? What if its a quantum black hole? What if she's got a dick? If you start dating her now youre locked in before youve ascertained any of the above
We've been on two dates but we work together and talk every day. It's been dead in the build up to Christmas so we've had nothing else to do, so we've been chatting shitloads. Dates have been spaced out by a few weeks so we've had a few weeks of that. Playing it cool and slow is probably best though, I agree.
No, no more fetish clubs. Went for the last time on Saturday until (a) I fuck this up or (b) she's happens to be curious about it. Itch has been scratched though. I'll still go to pub meetups to see everyone though.
I think, in fact I'm almost certain, that I'm going to have to ask the girlfriend to marry me. Now, whilst this is obviously a great thing, it's also quite a daunting prospect, as we don't live together yet. Taiwanese families are very traditional and family orientated, so aren't up for their daughter to live with someone before marriage. We see each other every day pretty much, so I would be surprised if it was any different living together, but if it's shit, I really don't want to have to say 'listen here we need a divorce.'
Seeing each other everyday and living together is completely different.
Yeah it's gonna be interesting.
Especially when you hear her shitting for the first time.
Or when you need to get in the bathroom but she's in there doing the biz. But you go in anyway as you're both used to it now.
Or the leisurely pace she does the food shopping at. And endless tat she puts in the fucking trolley as you go along.
This is reading a bit bitter, it's not that bad :thbup: .
It's not the endless tat, it's the grabbing the side/front of the trolley while you're pushing/steering it, for no goddamn reason. :mad:
Mike told me a good trick when that happens is to just completely let go of it. She soon stopped touching the trolley.
It's fucking woeful. Don't do it, Charlie.
This isn't some sort of GS type of deal where we don't touch each other until marriage. She has stayed over hundreds of times, so I have heard all the shits.
The thought of marrying someone I've never lived with is a terrifying thought. I've fallen out with people who were, at the time, among my best mates once I lived with them. It's a different ballgame altogether.
I do understand the need to do it though, in this circumstance. Fuck knows how people managed in olden days.
Hammer being given correct dating advice by a seventeen year old. Ouch.
He's 18 now, remember? A man. A man's man.
I know couples that still don't live with each other that are married and have been for a while. It strikes me as huge fear of commitment veiled by a sham marriage.
Are they foreign?
I'm marrying someone I've never lived with before. I see why people do it actually - it does make sense - but both of us being traditionalists it would never happen. Besides, I think it makes our wedding more exciting because there'll be something 'new' to enjoy straight after it.
Living with someone is a gamechanger. I think I'd need to live with someone for a while before marriage. Not for long - just long enough to know there's no inherent and massive issues with it. If she keeps blocking the plug of the bath with her hair for example then we're gonna have issues.
Get one of those little things you pop over the plug to catch the hair. I haven't hit her since.
The craziest thing is that happens in a fraternity house full of guys as well. Just huge balls of hair in the shower drain. How exactly that happens I dont know
Blokes tidying their downstairs in the shower, probably.
Living together is a tricky one, don't think my girlfriend will ever fully adapt to it, she's the 'we should spend all our time after work together' type, whilst I genuinely want to come in after the gym and play games for a few hours. These days, as I've got my own place, she gets in a huff and doesn't bother leaving her parents, my response is tough shit. :D
I've got the ideal middle ground of Sam's predicament as mine's a secondary school teacher so she generally goes to bed at 9. I don't think I even had this much time to play games when I was all alone.
Lucky. She just moans when I play games, even worse if I get on any voicecomm, she spends half the time confused as she thinks I'm talking to her and the other half puzzled as to why you would speak to people over the internet and not just text them.
Technology somewhat goes over her head.
I'm extremely lucky to be honest. My better half likes Hollyoakes and Corrie but apart from that I'm free to play as many games as I want whilst she reads. She even enjoys watching games and encourages me to play them. I then just play FM when Corrie etc is on so life is good.
Apart from what mo said about a slow supermarket pace the relationship is a solid 10/10. Infact, I was with a mate the other day and his missus said any couple that said they don't row are liars. I was thinking about it afterwards and we've argued twice in 3 years of living together and even then it was all sorted within an hour or so. So it's not true at all.
I think you know you've found the one when your in my situation though. No arguments, never had to compromise anything I want to do or enjoy doing. If you're having to do those things and you still get married etc you're going to end up fucking miserable.
Magic miserable.
Edit: she's way out of my league as well. :cool:
I grew out of playing games a long time ago apart from FM. FM really is a dream relationship game, it's easy for us to watch whatever we want together whilst I play on the laptop. For football If Watford or a 'big game', I will watch on the tv whilst she watches something on the laptop or reads and if it's a smaller match (although my frequency of watching random matches is pretty low nowadays) I will normally watch on the laptop with headphones.
It works very well for us and there's no 'compromise' needed as we are both perfectly happy. We would much rather be together and do this than be in separate rooms.
Fortunately she doesn't watch anything I consider shit so the other way doesn't happen.
Just proposed lads.
How are you taking her rejection?
I can recommend mirtazapine for depression if you need it.
Didn't have a ring or anything. Just told her that she's more beautiful than the new york skyline and the Eiffel Tower which is absolutely true.
So happy lads. I've been meaning to do this.
Oh sweet lady. With your face like a cream oval. Your nose, like a delicious slope of cream. Your ears, like cream flaps. Your teeth, like hard, shiny pegs of cream.
God I was fucking drunk last night.
You proposed while hammered? :D
Hammered is a massive understatement. Fitting really.
I'll say it again: Collectively, we're a fucking tragic mess.
Making a life choice whilst drunk is a bold move.
Congratulations. (Does she remember?)
:D
LR :cool:
She wasn't drunk.
She must be a mutant or ill to say yes to a slavering, pissed up version of this:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...9c83e46083.jpg
:lol:
How long you been holding onto that one magic? :lol:
Magic. :D
Linkage, Leedsrev.
Fuck that I posted pics of an ex before on the old forum and some fucker found em on Facebook.
I've just read a few threads on forums about failing/unhappy marriages. Its nice to know we're not alone. Always the advice is 'run for the hills!' etc. I can imagine the sort of wine drinking 'I'm free!' sort of cunts that are posting responses like that. I was miserable on my own and I'm miserable married. I'm just a miserable fucking cunt.
Are you really unhappy in your marriage or is it exaggerated for here? Because I get why you'd want to stay together for the kid but children aren't thick when it comes to that sort of thing; the pick up on it and it has an impact.
So given that it's probably too late to fix that now start planting the seed so that when she hits her teenage years and becomes a cunt to her parents she'll just blame her mum for everything and you can be the hero.
She's all too aware, I'm afraid.
I couldn't do that. I got both barrels from my parents from 10 onwards about each one being a horrible cunt that hated me depending on who was in whatever ear.
Then stop being such a miserable cunt @Magic. Maybe it's not her or the relationship that's the problem. Or think of her and let her free while she still has time to still have a life.
Probably about time you got some marriage counselling, Magic.
What's wrong with your relationship anyway?
I don't really think you should make her hate her mum. I know you've mentiomed you had a bad experience of your own mum and dad splitting up when you were a kid but it doesn't have to be awful; that's about how you both show her you love her and make sure she knows the other parent loves her.
Not that splitting up has to be the answer, obviously. I assume you love one another and if that's the case there's at least something to work at. Boyd's suggestion is a good one. If it oi past that point then you're going to have to find as amicable a way of ending it as possible at some point. Although that shouldn't only go for you, there are two of you in this. Is she feeling the same way?
Jesus fucking Christ Magic, cheer up you miserable bastard. :)
I am single. There comes a point in your life, so I have found, where you weigh up the pro's n cons of fulfilling your sexual needs with the occasional wank against all that a relationship brings. Now I know I have made some awful women choices these past two years but I have noticed when I am woman free my life is less stressful, I have time to get stuff done, I get to do the stuff I want to do and I get to see my friends and have a life.
I am at the stage where sharing my time and compromising are no longer attractive options. The occasional meal and night out to the cinema is fine, dating is fine but I think I am fucked for ever having a relationship again. I say that with no hint of sadness, just acceptance. Nearly moved in with a fellow comic a few months ago after having been friends for two years then dating for 4 months. Quite relieved I backed out.
Cue me posting in three weeks iv'e met the love of my life etc. I am that sort of cunt.
I guess if it makes reality easier, you never know what's around the corner though so don't accept it too much.
I've just thought I've tucked my little girl in every single night I could for 3.5 years. Not having the opportunity to do that made me so sick inside. We've had (another) talk. She really does blame me for everything shit about our relationship. I'm going to try but no pressure lads. I hope this lasts because single parenting makes me physically and mentally ill. Really. I do want it to succeed for my daughter. I'm unsure as to whether that's a good motive or not. Fuck it. Life is hard. Sometimes I feel utterly trapped and miserable other times its all good. I have no bar for which to set my life against. Relationships are very private things.
Put it out of its misery, mate.
How long has it been bad for? Maybe you just need to ride it out?
5/5 years apparently.
Do ever have breaks from one another, Magic?
Nope. Like a relationship break?
Time apart. Granted a child makes it a little more difficult, but little breaks here and there work wonders for me. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.
I'd care more if he wasn't giving it the large so often.
Let's crib, AJ
Some honest heartfelt advice Magic. If you are both miserable and don't love each other anymore, call it a day. I have become a much better person and a much better parent since splitting up with my ex. I'd go so far to say it changed my whole life for the better.
At the time I felt as though my life was over, I was a failure etc. Here is the rub of it though. Once you move on, it takes time but once you do, you find out who you are, what you like doing and maybe will meet someone who is right for you.
See how it goes but what i'm saying is that being a single parent is no bad thing.
Magic's lass looks lovely, I bet it's all his fault.
I agree with Chrissy.
Magic, you posted a while ago that your life was actually good despite how you come across here. Is it that much of a rollercoaster or were you just lying?
One thing I've heard is that it's better to have your parents be separated but happy than together but miserable and neglectful. I have quite a few friends whose parents are divorced and who seem basically pretty happy with their family lives. No idea what the best age for that would be, though - I'm sure there's been a lot written on the subject.
Cheer up, you blurt.
Life's shite 90% of the time; at least you've got someone to tolerate it with.
Magic doesn't hate the idea of being a part time dad because of being a part time dad, he hates it because in his little world of keeping up with the Jones' it'll put him down the pecking order.
No amount of lawn ornaments will balance up that one, but he could always get an old Porsche for doing the weekly pickups.
Its ON THE ROCKS with the lass I'm seeing. We had a nice moment last Friday where we kissed and she was telling me how nice I am, which I echoed back at her. Then 5 minutes later something clicks and she's saying she doesn't think she's over her last relationship (she got cheated on, it turns out, and the bloke kinda took off without explaining much) and doesn't know if she's ready for dating again yet. Well, shit. Figured it best to talk about it sober but she's said the same kinda thing. I said I'd be happy to take things at a very slow pace and just take things as she's comfortable, and we've left it for Christmas anyway and will chat in a week or two when we're both back in Leeds.
Bit gutted that its up in the air so quickly as I had a really good feeling about it, but there you go. We'll see.
Girls who get cheated on tend to become defined by it for a very long time afterwards. Fair play if she's worth the hassle, but she sounds like a slow burner.
Meeting my ex and her new boyfriend today, should be a laugh.
Yeah I get the impression that it'd be a very slow one. She mentioned before we went out that she can get quite anxious with all this dating stuff but I hadn't felt it until then.
I think she probably is worth it, so long as she's up for it too. She suggested continuing meeting up just as friends but I'd want something with her at some point. If we do take it mega slowly I need to establish clearly that that is what we're doing, and not just going down the friendship route.
I was thinking that too. I'm in touch sometimes with my ex but I'd never meet up with her with her geezer there too. Awkward as fuck.
We were mates before we were in a relationship, and we're still good friends now. I think it'll be worse for the new boyfriend than it is for me.
Is it not 'heid'?
Girl I was seeing in Edinburgh gave me a similar spiel about not being over her previous boyfriend, he cheated on her as well, trust issues blah blah. I managed to win her over with my charm (persistence) but then she ended up being a bit of a weirdo anyway. I think her being 30 didn't help either.
I think we're on the mend. We've had some enormous downs but that was the worst. I genuinely thought it was over. I've been trying and it's helping. Not sure if she is. We've got the hotel and Maccabees gig in Glasgow in a couple of weeks' time so hopefully that will let us repair things further. Thankfully we spent most of the time after CRY-GATE with my family. Unfortunately it's my niece's birthday party on Sunday (her sister's kid) where all her family will be there.
As such I've only seen her mum and dad since then and they never mentioned anything.
Not once has anyone asked how I feel. My mum has even said she'll back her because she knows what I'm like. If ever there was proof she hates my dad more than she loves me, battered old cunt.
I'm totally alone. Have I got myself to blame?
We're here for you, mate.
Just fuck it Magic. I can't be arsed to read what's happened but if you aren't happy just leave. Better for the kid to have two happy parents than two miserable ones.
Well that post went from quite positive to hopelessly bleak.
I'm in Glasgow at the moment if you want a hug mate. You live in Scotland right?
It wasn't intended to be bleak, just when it gets shit I've got nothing to turn to except here. I guess I've just taken TTH reliance to new heights.
A drive to Glasgow to hug a stranger off the internet would go down well at the moment. :eyemouth:
I never openly discuss my relationship with anyone, by the way.
What are you doing in Glasgow, Randrew?
Up here with the girlfriend so you could bring her along and we'll double date or have a gangbang.
Edit: @Toby we had flights booked to Brussels for new year but then Paris happened and it all got a bit terroristy so we didn't fancy it. Here was one of the few places we could change the flights to for a reasonable price.
Were a bit skeptical but we've had a thoroughly nice time so far.
RL is Randrew?
And I'd only found out Mellberg was Mellin. It's been an emotional day.
I understand not realising with Melon since he's changed username, but mine's always been this.
Edit: that autocorrect always makes me lol.
And I've said why Glasgow up in the edit to the previous post. We've just been mooching so far, couple of museums and the Cathedral and stuff.
Spending the day in Edinburgh tomorrow.
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That's 'Daws', mate. Are you not part of the WhatsApp group?
There's a WhatsApp group? :(
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Would also recommend Timberyard or L'Escargot Bleu for food, again assuming both are open and have any bookings available.
They both look nice, cheers :)
Bring Magic along too.
Too attractive/intimidating to be friendzoned yet not attractive enough to have female friends.
When will it be my turn for normal relationships with females.
When you're less of a gobshite I'd imagine.
"Hey, girl. Wanna see me do some reps? I'm studying law."
Lol. Maybe to drunk freshmen kids at our parties, but 'privileged white males' involved in Greek life haven't been able to get away with an offensive public assertion of masculinity in at least a decade.
And anyways, I'm a huge pussy these days, long distance relationship and I'm not even cheating on the side.
Ah, fidelity. The definition of being a pussy.
Fucking hell Magic, don't hold back.
He's just attention seeking.
:henn0rz:
In all seriousness, girls get hit on multiple times a day and carry that confidence of feeling desired by men through to their interactions with their significant other. It's always important for the sake of relationship and her attraction to you, to also always have a few options on the side so that you interact with your girlfriend from a position of strength/comparable confidence.
Fucking hell you live in a bubble, kudos.
Rapist.
Mert.
Vague matter of fact statements.
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Girls get hit on multiple times per day?
I don't think he meant to include the 'on'.
Idk. I'm in a long distance relationship now for around 6 months, I get laid like once every three weeks, don't ever go out or interact with females outside an academic context, spend all my time studying, etc. On the surface, I am the nerd pussy I vowed never to be and I see no escape, but on the other hand I think this might just be what adulthood/maturity feels like.
Now I just game my girlfriend so she's sufficiently attracted to me to still give spontaneous blow jobs. It's entertaining enough and I like her.
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I'm mostly just saying provocative things for attention because I'm bored and procrastinating going jogging, when in reality I send kissie emojis to my girlfriend and respond 'I love you more!! <3' when she says I love you.
But I think there's definitely something there. I feel like a caged animal and I don't feel as confident as I used to in my seduction abilities because I've been out of the game so long. I'm also heavier than I used to be during my pussy slaying peak and that bothers me. I sense that girls don't aggressively/inappropriately flirt with me the way I feel like they used to in my frat star days. I'm not sure if that's because that's just when happens when you get older, or if I'm just not as sick as I used to be.
Why do you give a shit about your "seduction abilities"? You have a girlfriend. You've been with her a while now too, you're doing well to be shagging every three weeks. Just you wait......
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I shouldn't have even posted this is the worst exchange ever. We should have stayed in the fucking sea.
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Sounds roughly correct, I think. Although my current girlfriend and I have been hooking up for over 4 years now so I snagged her at the height of my irrational confidence. She's pretty dece and I'll probably end up marrying her because it realistically isn't getting any better in terms of the entire package.
I just miss going to bars and hitting on girls like its a strategy game and I'm looking for the right combination of words, body language and actions to get laid.
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This is amazing.
You'd be right in almost any other circumstance, but I do think this is the exception*. She lost her virginity to me, has never been with another guy, and I see her infrequently enough that I can convincingly fake it for short periods of time so she's none the wiser. In the meantime I'll lose the extra weight and become a baller lawyer, so by the time we're living together again I'll have some more firmly established confidence in myself. I also cheated on her so she's perpetually worried that she's not good enough which works in my favor. All in all, I'm optimistic.
*Said every guy ever
I'm sure girls will be tearing each other's flaps off trying to get a piece of ol' Lionel 'I'll defend anything' Hutzerkan.
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Cheating on women to smash their confidence and make them more likely to stay with you :cool:
Emotional abuse :cool:
She stayed with you?
It wasn't on purpose. It's just an honest observation, sorry if you're too pussy to handle uncomfortable truths.
Not initially. She broke up with me, but I managed to convince her to give me another chance after a few months. Girl psychology is a hell of a drug.
Why are you alive? Like what do you live for? Honest question
Uncomfortable truths? What?
I find your seeming lack of shame staggering, but you can do what you like. Poor lass.
One can only imagine the parenting fails to produce this shit amirite Hammer?
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See the thing about being batshit mental and damaged is that you can't see it in yourself at all because your batshit mental damaged.
Fuck knows what has happened to you Mert to make you the way you are. Either way, no matter what has happened, you come across as a total prick on here. Iv'e dated gorgeous women, I look like a piece of shit and i'm skint more often than not. Why do these women date me etc? Well maybe because I am a nice person and value a strong, independent and intelligent woman. Women are not fucking trophies or something to be controlled, they are another human being.
This alpha male, dominating, arrogant pish you prattle on about isn't just very worrying, it's massively fucking retarded and speaks more for your insecurities than it does any faux confidence you are trying to display.
You'll be in the jail if this shite escalates. Get help, speak to someone, as your views on women are fucking deplorable.
I agree, but framing it purely in terms of how it's benefited you? You fucking psycho :D
@Magic: Fo sho
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You know he does pretty much fit the bill of that lunatic. I'd like to hope Mert is just trolling us all and laughing at our reactions. He is very consistent though.
Keep regurgitating the talking points of your cultural Marxist education which has indoctrinated you into reflexive shaming of outward displays of masculinity. If you say it often enough maybe it'll be true.
Anyways chill the fuck out. Girls like men who take charge and aren't pussies. I try my best not to be a pussy, it works pretty well.
If Mert had been around in August (or whenever it was) Mahow would be married by now.
...except for the minor detail that I have never had issues getting laid. I've just had enough experiences that I feel comfortable calling women out on their hypergamous, duplicitous and fickle ways. It's just accepting certain realities, and then subsequently knowing how to game their psychology in your favor and getting on with your life.
Mert, I think the worst thing is the way you refer to women as 'females'. Yuck.
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brb vaguely understand how psychology works
brb turns out humans are ruthless and motivated by incredibly superficial base impulses based largely on evolutionary anthropology
brb im the bad guy for trying to maximize his experience in life through applying his insights
I can't turn off my hyper awareness/perception in social environments. That's probably the real issue.
I want to be a normal contributing member of society and that'll require me having successful platonic interactions with the opposite sex. I'm trying to improve and move away from the persona I lazily uphold on this forum to something more palatable/human.
I really didn't think our first New Year's Day on the Brave New Board would see half the membership rehashing arguments we had with Meet five years ago.
You're right, that's definitely it. You're just too smart for everyone.
Getting laid might be a game but you can't look at women like that if you want to be friends with them. You have to see them as valuable in and of themselves, not in their potential for sex. /therapist
This is some top notch work Mert.
Lol at Mert claiming he's 'never had trouble getting laid'. You were on the old board lying about feeling some tits when you were about seventeen.
I had a girlfriend for all of high school my sophomore year onward (age 16), so I've been getting laid regularly for the last 7 years. I think the longest I ever went without getting laid during that time frame was 4-5 weeks during the summer of my junior year of college when my girlfriend took part in a study abroad program.
U mad?
You just did.
http://i.imgur.com/Mm1m0D0.gif
Spoonsky gotta step up his game. Get buffing some fanny lad.
Mert's too brown but not brown enough to succeed as a lawyer within America. Although his first rape defendant's going to shit themselves when he gives his opening statements.
Amongst all the drivel that Mert posts in this thread, there's one bit I find really interesting. He constantly refers to the fact that he was his girlfriends first as a thing that will make his girlfriend stay with him, which I find really odd as everyone I know who have started as teenage lovers have parted ways for at least partly because of the fact that the fact that the one who had never been with anyone else has started thinking that the grass might be greener on the other side and wanted to try it out. Maybe it's all about the cultural context, or that Mert is just wrong.
Mert you are an intriguing and valuable person. These people don't respect you and treat you the way you deserve. Stay strong and live long, bro.
The only thing he seems preoccupied about is how to manipulate people (women) in one way or another. Everyone always does some measure of manipulation in all their relationship, but when it's the actual foundation of a relationship. Which is why he'll probably have trouble in relationships maybe 5-7 years time, is my theory.
I've missed this.
I've missed us.
Girls always have a very strong (read: obsessive) emotional connection to the guy they lost their virginity to,that's just biology/millennium of religious tradition. It is very possible though that virginity carries a different connotation in the feminist godless sacrilege which is Finland.
And anyways, girls only start having wandering eyes if their man becomes of an inferior social status/relative attractiveness as the two grow older. Happens frequently as the pussy slayers in HS are generally less professionally successful than their nerdy celibate counter parts.
Must be a cultural thing then, as I don't recognise your point from my cultural context at all.
The wife just called me a mouse (rather than a man, presumably).
I told her as far as being called an animal as a derogatory name that wasn't too bad at all.
She then said 'Why? They're horrible little rats.'
She knew whilst she was saying it she'd just stepped on a verbal landmine. She glanced towards me, only to see both my eyes shut and a dribble of spit emerging from my smug, pursed lips.
:drool:
Is there a story I've missed why your wife is being such a cunt to you?
It's the small victories in life.
You fellas need another kid.
I don't get the end of that story. Why the smugness?
Because I didn't take the dishes through so I don't look after her. I did take them through eventually and took the recycling bin out. Some fucking mouse. And it was raining.
Magic's latest mugshot:
http://www.littlemonstersforum.co.uk...q/u8g8nfkq.png
Verbal landmine? Smugness? Is this because you can use it as evidence in court? Otherwise I don't get it.
Also: Pussy slayer :D
Presumably because she was being a shit and made the sort of fuck up that makes her look daft and lets him just lol at her for that rather than engaging in the argument.
Were you wearing the wire? The can all prove substantial come the court proceedings.
Magic's absolutely donned that exchange.
Like a real man.
She a pussy, MJ. So maybe that's why the bitch be harassin' yo ass.
A successful marriage is a lot like eating an orange, Magic.
It's a sad state of affairs. She sounds insecure and Magic shot of his masculinity. It's a vicious cycle and one I'm trying to avoid myself.
Just eat the damn orange.
You call that a knife? This is a knife!
When people don't get references. :nono:
People getting references wrong is worse.
Hey, don't yell at Dquincy, just because he's a little slow.
I'm just upset he took attention away from my joke.
Which one?
:) I have absolutely no idea what's going on.
Magic's married to 7om?
All blew up this afternoon with the mrs over some Christmas decorations I'd broken. :D Of course this act somehow symbolised our entire relationship and how I don't give a fuck. I wasn't backing down over this illogical bullshit and in a pit of tears she apologised.
"It'd be nice if you bought me some flowers".
"That would be like rewarding a dog for misbehaving".
Oh snap.
Jesus that's fucking savage.
How have I been dragged into this?
Why don't you just bin her Manc? There's no engagement/marriage, kids or mortgage, right? Get out now.
*whispers tearfully*
Run. Run whilst you can.
Its a better story if you assume Manc speaks first.
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Game over with lass from work. Went out last night for (late) work Xmas do and walked across town and got a taxi with her at the end. She said she wasn't ready. She was really apologetic and said she was a bitch and bigged up how amazing I am blah blah blah.
I said a few weeks ago I was happy to take it really slow, but she's not in a place for it. I felt really, really fucking good about it all too. I really felt great when I was with her and she said as much too. Fucks sake. I've been on enough dates and chatted to enough women to know how rare it is to find that feeling and that kind of chemistry. It just felt right. I'm really, really fucking gutted.
She's not in a place to put out? :cab:
Without the context I can see how that reads :D. Been seeing her for a couple of months ;). Posted in here a couple of times about it I think.
Had you guys hooked up prior to this? Or was 'seeing' just dates/dinners etc. If it was the latter, you should've made your move a while ago dude
I do think as a rule, if ever you have to agree to take it slow or give someone time you should just call it a night. It's never going to work.
Not sure where else to put this so it's going in here:
Our kid has been constipated for a couple of days really struggling to get a shite. Every time she goes a wee nugget comes out but she's there for about 10 minutes. So she had tenderstem brocolli, sweetcorn and chicken breast for tea, with an orange for after to try and get the juices flowing. She went to bed fine.
The wife has a thing about locking doors, sometimes I forget and a bloke wandered in to our old flat thinking it was his and he was completely pissed so she got a fright. She's always arsey about that sort of thing. So half 11 comes, and we're both asleep(ish) when we hear someone walking about and trying handles etc. Now in our drowsy state she whispered 'someone's in the house' so I thought this is it. My moment of glory. My baseball bat is in our hot water tank cupboard in the bedroom next to the bed, it's a push/pull door so it makes a noise when you open it. I dived out of bed, ripped the door open grabbed the bat and went out swinging in to the hallway quickly turning the light on ready to assassinate our intruder. What do I see? Our daughter curling a massive log in to the bog, bless her. Short of shouting 'COME ON YOU CUNT!' I don't think I could have made it any scarier. She must have absolutely shit herself.
From her point of view, all she's done is got up for a crap in the middle of the night. She can't reach the light switch but there's enough moonlight with it being south facing for you to roughly see what's going on. And she's met with a crazy man in his pants swinging about a metal bat. Bless her.
On reflection it reminded me of this:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...53539818e4.jpg
:face:
If you went into her room offering to cut up some brownies after to make up, you're a monster.
:D
She'll probably be too scared to go for a shit for a while now.
Well at least you cured her constipation, still a hero in my eyes.
We know now what the murder weapon will be.
Piss off I'm not ruining my bat, got it in Florida, proper aluminium.
I've got a rusty hacksaw in the garage that should do the job.
You don't get to choose, you'll be under the patio.
Any of you ever been to relationship counselling?
Been to normal counselling and am training to be a counsellor, so can give you the gist of that, but never done it with/as a couple.
They love it across the pond. Best to keep stum and let the rage build I've found.
What troubles are you and your boyfriend having, Baz?
:D
Top banter.
It wasn't initially but I did notice it before posting :D
It's been around three weeks since me and the mrs had sex. "Has it been that long?" :moop:. Periods without sex will happen in long term relationships, but a vibrant sex life has remained a constant throughout the rocky relationship. She's about to turn 30 and all her friends are either pregnant or monsters. I'd imagine sex is never the topic of conversation and it's a difficult topic to bring up without me sounding like a sexual deviant. I'm frustrated and this drought doesn't look like ending anytime soon.
I had a condom break on me for the first time ever last night.
Thank god I noticed before the inevitable happened.
Ah yeah no need in this case, I was just wondering why the worry at the time when you always have that backup so handy.
You can't get them here without getting a prescription from a GP. I remember nutting in some yoke once in the Sunday of a bank holiday weekend and it was a disaster trying to get an out of hours clinic and all the next day.
I wasn't worried, but I didn't realise it was that easy to do it.
For a split second I could empathise with Ross in Friends.
The idea of Yev having actual sex is weird.
If it helps Magic, it was with a Real Doll.
Child? That's more expected. I have you down as a braver and more forward Mahow.
Christ, if you'd put that in the WDYTOE thread it would have probably prompted my first reply in the history of TTH.
He's right there, guys.
It would have been an inappropriate WDYTOE comment.
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Is there a new Mrs Yev then?
Noted, do not talk about matters of the bottom in Yev's company. Apologies if you were offended.
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HAHAHA. HAHAHA @Yevrah. Laugh. Fucking laugh! AHAHAH!
Boobies!
*spongebob face*
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:D Are you talking about getting pregnant from pre-cum?
Yeah, 2008. Amazing, isn't it. I've spent nearly half my life posting on TTH now.
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I thought it was bats?
Help me.
Our daughter is the second youngest at pre-school. She went through a phase of being a little shit but that stopped, we had the 3 month 'review' where they said everything was fine. Now after Christmas and New Year we're getting daily reports of hitting. And it's different kids too. There doesn't seem to be any logic behind it that we can see, occasionally she'll tell us X was annoying her, or going to hit her etc but we enquire and the nursery staff tell us there was no provocation.
Tonight after several successive reports and zero stickers from the good behaviour sticker program they've introduced, I took away her princess dresses. She was distraught. I have been explaining in no uncertain terms there are alternatives to hitting, walking away/talking/telling teachers etc but it doesn't work. She is fine at home and at play group/soft play etc with family supervision. Just those three hours for the past 2 or so weeks she doesn't listen to the teachers and stuff. She will get one dress back each time there is a good report at nursery, and one taken away each time there is a hitting report.
I know this might be 'normal ololol!' but I'm worried. I've looked in to it, I know, we know, how to deal with this behaviour at home, which is why it simply doesn't happen. We aren't there at school though so she doesn't have those boundaries. How do we implement proxy boundaries? FFS it is impossible. I am utterly terrified of misunderstanding the situations, the last thing I want is to encourage fear, worthlessness, shame, guilt, which is all the things my shit parents made me feel at every turn. This is why I invested in the psychology books. I feel dreadfully sick at the thought I may have invoked these negative emotions by removing the dresses which she dearly loves hours after the 'crime' she has committed.
Fuck you if you think that's #firstworldproblems or #mumsnetshit. I am so terrified of one possible outcome more than anything in this world; that she turns in to me.
She clearly doesn't connect her behaviour elsewhere with consequences at home yet, what you're doing seems a sensible way of attempting to change that. You might consider extra bribes in order to improve behaviour at school, once she's used to it just reduce the bribes and the learnt behaviour tends to stick.
That or Fritzl dungeon.
It's almost too obvious.
Stop hitting her mother for a few weeks and see what happens.
I have to say Magic, that's pretty ballsy what with your weak chin and all.
The wife has told me to stop over-analysing. I've said she can over-analyse the back of my hand.
It's as soft as your dick...
Alright Dr Spock, call it positive reinforcement or a reward if you like but a bribe is what it is.
You read too much into your psychology books, Magic.
Which psychologist have you adopted as your God?
No, a bribe is a gift to achieve a desired affect. The child will percieve this as manipulation and turn it right on it's head ('No I won't do that unless I get X').
Positive reinforcement is heaping praise on good behaviour the child has undertaken of it's own free will ('That was a great job of putting away your clothes!').
Gina Ford looks like she ate any and all children during the 'awkward stage'.
You're going to fuck your kid up anyway, Magic, might as well stop worrying about it.
Gina Ford is the first woman that I can ever say I haven't done worse.
Birdseed.
How old are the people who work at the pre-school? If they are young, I'd blame them. Young people are useless, especially when it comes to kids.
Magic, you'd expect that the 'teachers' should be implementing discipline - presumably they're allowing it to pass without any consequence, otherwise your daughter would stop hitting other kids.
Fluffy cooter got me. :D
I work with kids aged 3 to 6, and I echo GS' sentiments that the teachers and other staff they employ should be able to command enough authority that kids don't go around slapping each other. That said, it does happen from time to time as kids don't have the necessary tools to work shit out yet (especially if she's the youngest in the group). It took me a few months to stop that kind of behaviour in the group I started in last fall, but now the older kids know that they are better off finding a way to play nice with each other or ask an adult to help them if they can't reach an agreement. The three year olds still sometimes start showing or throwing their pathetic punches about if they can't find a way out of a situation with their class mates ( I have a few kids who don't really speak Finnish or have some developmental issues, so it's more pertinent with themas they really can't tell others what's fucking them off).
I think taking away the dresses was a good move. Learning that actions have consequences is important as would be making her realise the emphatic angle of it. You could suggest to the daycare something about implementing similar rules both at home and at daycare, so that she better understands what happens when she does something 'mean' to others.
You're such a gimp Magic.
Magic - sign her up for TTH. We'll have her straightened out in no time
As an ex teacher and a parent here is what you should do Magic.
Sit her down, explain hitting is not right. Explain to her doing it is bad. Then ask her why she is hitting out? Is it because the other kids don't play with her? Is it because she wasn't getting played with enough (attention)? Then once you work out what it is, then give her one fixed alternative. i.e. talk to an adult if your angry/sad/not getting enough attention. Keep it very simple. Explain that is how it will be fixed/resolved/sorted, she will then value this approach and use it, explain this to all the adults working with her so there is a universal approach. Then showcase this approach in the house with her.
Taking away things, giving things etc only reinforces the value of possessions. What you need to do is introduce the value of behaving correctly.
Already done all that mate, the removal of something she values is a last resort. She doesn't do it around us, only at nursery. When they've got 30odd other kids you never get the full story and she just makes it up as to why she does it.
Maybe your kid's just a cunt.
Maybe you have no reasonable advice to offer and therefore should shut the fuck up.
Hit her. See how she likes it, the little shit.
Sounds like what you're doing is the best course of action, Magic. I think you'll need to give that a bit of time for her to process before deciding if you need to do anything else, which would probably have to involve having the nursery take similar action.
Omg she got a sticker. :drool:
She told me over the phone and asked if she could get one of her dresses back now so it obviously resonated with her.
Tell her she can get half of one back and then rip it in two in front of her.
and give her the half covered in Mahow's piss.
So her first hot friend had a spray tan today. I have to say, I was closer than I thought to posing a spy cam. My word.
Apparently her tits looked 'heavy' and she wasn't as thin as the wife thought, with a 'soft tummy'.
Jealous bitch, she probably knows I'd ride her like a shire horse in to battle.
Just think how much you'd regret not doing it when the wife eventually fucks off.
I hardly think some old non-VR/4K footage of one of her mates getting a spray tan would comfort me.
Real, ugly, STD ridden whores will do that nicely.
Magic :cool:
This Swedish girl has asked me to go sledding with her. Moving up in life.
Pretty sure my relationship is over.
You shagged that bird didnt you?
Spill all, mate. Let us make judgment whilst insincerely saying that we're here for you.
inbox me hun xx
We've had "the talk". Moving forward just feels like delaying the inevitable, but hey ho.
Does she buy that you didn't shag that one of does she just think she's giving you a chance?
She believes me. It could actually be the wake up call she needs.
Now all you need to do is go nail the other bird.
I do have a worryingly strong connection with this girl, but she's 21. Piss in the wind.