Neighbours and Schadenfreude

I wasn't sure where to put this, so fuck it, moar freds.

It's not a patch on the time @John's neighbour used a kettle full of water to clear the snow from their path, but it's made me laugh none the less.

For months now, the old boy down the road has been driving at breakneck speed up and down the road on his mobility scooter and a bloke a few doors down is forever telling him to slow down. "There's kids that live down this road!", "you're going to kill someone one of these days", you get the drill.

Well, I've just heard a crash and a load of shouting. The fucker has ploughed straight into Mr Shouty Pants as he stepped out of his garden and has received one of the best cunt ridden rants I've heard in years. Bliss.

Anyway, to make this a thread; share your tales?

Sadly (for the purposes of this thread) none of my neighbours seem to be scumbags any more. Can't even remember the last time I saw a police car outside.

This did come up in conversation one day recently with my mum and she was recalling the day she was here while I was at work and she saw a police car park outside, the two of them come in the front door of the flats then about 20 seconds later my upstairs neighbour lowered himself off his "balcony" onto mine and then did a runner.

I'm not someone who enjoys chatting with neighbours. A nod hello is all you're getting. Unfortunately, my neighbour is one of those who's idea of bliss is spending all day leaning against the fence having a chat about absolutely nothing. For the past year, I've had him coming out every time I do the gardening or even coming out front whenever I leave the house to catch me on my way out.

A few weeks ago I was trimming hedges and he came out and declared that he was "leaving" and had "had enough of her". I didn't engage him or ask what the fuck he was talking about (much to his obvious annoyance) and just wished him the best. His car has been gone for the last fortnight so I think he's actually gone, hopefully for good :drool:

In my new flat here, there was some pisshead young-ish lad/couple who live opposite us. He came home wasted and rang everyone's doorbells trying to get in the building at like 3am on Sunday a while back.

Woke up the next day to the Italian geezer upstairs knocking on doors trying to find the culprit. The flat opposite opened up and sheepishly admitted to it. Italian guy literally goes "if it happens again I will fucking kill you" and walked off upstairs. An apology note and a box of chocolates showed up, following a long, audible bollocking from the girlfriend which we could hear. Was great entertainment.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SvN

A few weeks ago I was trimming hedges and he came out and declared that he was "leaving" and had "had enough of her". I didn't engage him or ask what the fuck he was talking about (much to his obvious annoyance) and just wished him the best. His car has been gone for the last fortnight so I think he's actually gone, hopefully for good :drool:

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That is cold. Well played.

The apartment building next to us had false fire alarm evacuations in the middle of the night two nights in a row. The facebook community group has basically formed a vigilante group to find out who has been pulling the alarm and intend to evict them out of the building.

I've not had problem neighbours yet but the guy previous was borderline. His mates were pissheads and he was Schizo. One time he vanished for two weeks but left his keys in the door. I went up there just to check he hadn't died or something. His entire music collection was dumped on a pile in the middle of the floor and his power was completely off. I walked out of there thankful I didn't stand on any needles.

Yeah, 'Borderline'.

I’m ramping up an all out war with mine. Partly for lockdown amusement.

We had Nigerian neighbours until recently. They've fucked off now.

Lovely people, but occasionally they would shout God related bollocks at the top of their voice in the middle of the night. They'd stick on the God channel or something and shout all sorts. We thought it was funny because it was usually only every few weeks but last week they were at it every fucking night at about 4-5am.

First night: Whatever, I was sleeping in next day anyway. We were both awake and found it funny, but they went on for longer than usual.

Second night: Banged on the wall after 2 minutes. They stfu.

Third night: Banged on the wall again immediately and they carried on, so I then blasted Halo by rock band Soil through the wall. I did the full song. Once the song was over it was silent.

Fourth night: Getting seriously pissed off now but I knew they were moving the next day so I stayed calm and went downstairs. Fuck it. If they weren't moving out I'd have banged on their door and had a go.

Fucking weird. It being religious shite almost made us more hesitant to do anything. Respect for cultures and all that. My culture involves going to bed at night though, and I should have remembered that.

Halo is rubbish.

It's a Y9 classic