Where does he rate in the list since you've been following Chelsea Jim?
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Where does he rate in the list since you've been following Chelsea Jim?
That was a boring first half. Chelsea must have had 75% of the ball but did absolutely nothing with it.
Pffft. The state of this.
:cool:
He's the worst manager we've had in terms of performance with us. Big Phil Scolari was also shite, but not for the infuriating and entirely avoidable reasons that Sarri is. Benitez was a negative turd, and Grant was obviously a weird stooge but this guy has the horrible combination of thinking he is a football genius while also not having the first clue what he is doing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yevrah
The worst thing about him is that when his shit tactics fail, he just blames anyone else available, as if only he knows the correct way to play football and the pesky players/opposition/referee are unfairly thwarting his correct style of play.
Thats criminal from the AR there.
Back in your cage, Cardiff.
That chance at the end sums Barkley up. All the time in the world to do *something* and he lets the ball run across him for what felt like 10 minutes and then smashes it over the bar.
That is absolute daylight robbery.
lol at Steven Gerrard wanting to use a red card fine to reimburse the fans. Wrong side of town for that mawkish wank la.
Spurs dont usually go 3 at the back do they? Could be tough today with Spurs not needing a win.
They have done that quite a few times this season. They 100% do need a win though, the other three have reeled them back in!
Absolutely dire
Bullshit. That wasn't even a foul.
Shite defending anyway though.
What is the fucking point of Jordan Henderson?
Phew
Fabinho away at Southampton for the love of god please.
omg!
It's moments like that that make me believe, but then I remember City actually need to drop points.
In Binman we trust.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gray Fox
Alright, let's look at the potential banana skins for City:
17/4 - Spurs
24/4 - Man Utd
Maybe an outside chance of Palace holding them but they have the game in hand. With Liverpool, every match looks like a battle but they're getting the luck and results.... so far.
Liverpool
Southampton (a)
Chelsea (h)
Cardiff (a)
Huddersfield (h)
Newcastle (a)
Wolves (a)
Man City
Cardiff (h)
Palace (a)
Spurs (h)
Man Utd (a)
Burnley (a)
Leicester (h)
Brighton (a)
Some droppable tasty games in that list.
Just seen Chelsea's offside goal. That is so disgraceful from the linesman that it borders on suspicious for match-fixing. He'd have to be looking in the opposite direction to miss that.
I hope it comes down to the last minute of the last game, and Bottlepool bottle it in the most majestic way possible, perhaps the mighty VIRGIL bundling it in to his own net, Bobby missing an open goal/pen, Salah having a heart attack. Something like that. :drool:
He'd cleverly stationed himself behind Willian.
Harsh on Cardiff, but with my Brighton hat on thank fuck for that.
I thought Salah was miles offside for that goal at the end but seeing as it got zero mentions anywhere I guess he wasn't.
Fuck Cardiff. They can get the fuck out of here.
Last game, Liverpool need a win for the title. 0-0 in the early stages and Henderson goes down with a heart attack. Pronounced dead, match abandoned. City win, which leaves Liverpool still needing to win the rematch, but as the city is in mourning it's delayed until the start of July. Jeremy Corbyn, by now Prime Minister, negotiates a settlement with Wolves in the 'national interest' and the match kicks off. For 90 minutes the sides just pass the ball around while the nation pays its respects. 96 parachute jumpers land on the pitch at half time, causing an hour's delay. Supporters applaud through the 56th minute in tribute to when Henderson would otherwise need to have been subbed off. As the clock reaches 90, Wolves move the ball back to their own goal line and Liverpool make their final change, replacing Mo Salah with Wee Timmy Henderson, Jordan's three year old son, drafted onto the bench after the Premier League agreed to relax several of its rules for the day. Encouraged to the ball by players from both sides, Wee Timmy wallops it over the line. The final whistle is blown, and Liverpool are champions. Henderson's coffin is wheeled out for the presentation, and the trophy placed on top of it. A helicopter lands on the pitch to take the players, staff, trophy and coffin back to Liverpool. They all clamber in, singing 'You'll Never Walk Alone'. The helicopter rises into the air and Wolverhampton doffs its cap to the finest champions any country has ever known.
The final piece de resistance arrives in the form of Kenny Dalglish, temporarily confined to a wheelchair after suffering a solidarity stroke after Henderson's death. Accepting an enormous rocket launcher from Jorge Mendes, Dalglish fires and it's like he's never been away, as the shell blows the departing helicopter up.
The crowd links arms, King Kenny - soon to be installed as the actual monarch - smiles, and England looks forward to next season, safe in the knowledge that Liverpool FC are finally champions. Forever, champions.
tl;dr?Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmy floyd
I lost to him.
This is me posing for photos in front of the scoreboard.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
A grown man wrote this
You could expand your parameters there. Excluding the mentally afflicted he might be the thickest cunt on earth. I said it when he got sent off against Aberdeen, we just can't trust him. He's a complete liability, and we're probably going to get about half the fee his ability should command purely because wherever he goes everyone will quickly learn that if you can wind him up even a little he'll get himself sent off.Quote:
Originally Posted by dino
Was that grown man Kenny Dalglish?Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheddar
Looks like Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink to me, mate.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
It sounds like he just needs to be more snide. Show him a highlight reel of Diego Costa and Eric Dier and you have a banker.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
He's not even black, you cunt.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheddar
Fuck sake though Jimmy. Sort it aaat.
Neil Warnock staring the officials down will be the lasting image of the 2018/19 season.
Everyone knows Warnock is dodgy as fuck, but I think it goes beyond that. I'm not quite saying evil genius, but I think there's something a touch more Machiavellian about Warnock than the other old school wide boy chancers like Redknapp.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
The story about him taking a few hundred quid off his players in what was meant to be a 'team building' bowling game makes me smile every time it appears on Facebook. I don't even want to know if it isn't true, it's the perfect distillation of who he seems to be.
you familiar with the battle of bramall lane? that was my first exposure to him and it was not a good first impression.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
I remember seeing his book in a charity shop and indexing 'Sean Bean' and 'Wally Downes'. Absolutely RINSED them both.
I thought that when he did his Brexit means Brexit press conference a while ago. Got us all on a string, and the endgame is probably only that he gets to drink slightly more expensive whisky.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Don't get me started on Pulis either. My taxes probably get paid straight into his account.
someone on c&b was "summarising" chapters of that in the football thread, I genuinely couldn't tell what was legit and what was satire (if anything). good stuff, here's an extract:Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Quote:
Chapter 4 - Team Bonding
- Neil begins by parachuting the listener into a night march on the moors that formed part of one of his pre-seasons as a player. At Hartlepool, an ex-commando called Tony Toms took fitness. Tony took them to the moors, separated the squad so they were all sat alone in the pitch black. 'I waited for what seemed like ages in the dark, until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I nearly filled my pants.' Turns out it was Tony, who'd used his commando skills to sneak up on Neil. 'He was ahead of his time Tony - he made us play a game and the loser got chucked in the river. It's the sort of thing they do these days on I'm A Celebrity. Finally, in the morning, we were told to find our way home - so I used my initiative and made a reverse charge call at a phone box, and got picked up.'
- Neil then moves onto his pre-season as manager, which 'is more benign. Fitness is best judged by the naked eye, not the computer.' More signings are discussed from his first one at QPR - Bradley Orr and Leon Clarke. Neil slates Clarke as not good enough, then says how pleased he was to see him nominated as League One player of the year a few years later.
- Neil takes his teams now to Cornwall, fixing matches with local teams. Marcus Bent once gave a kitman Ł300 to buy a TV to put in his spartan room at the training camp. Neil takes the squad to a local pub for 'a buffet and a drink - nothing excessive. Later we go back to mine for a barbecue, where I always cook.'
- Neil remembers that first summer at QPR where the new signings, led by Clint Hill, dressed up as JLS and sung 'Everybody In Love' at the team hotel. Neil gave his son Ł20 to soak Ákos Buzsáky with a water pistol.
- We move onto mid-season breaks. Neil says he likes a day at the races, or some fishing, before pointedly commenting on 'Allardyce liking Dubai'. There's then a lovely anecdote about Tongey and the lads going for a winter swim at Scarborough. 'Brrrr' adds Neil.
- Neil claims he got Notts County players to drink 'glasses of sherry and raw egg' in the hotel, the night before away games.
- Neil now embarks on a wide-ranging defence of his methods, arguing he has been wrongly derided as a long ball merchant. He points to the success of Darren Ambrose and Neil Danns as evidence, plus his blooding of Victor Moses and Sean Scannell. There's a brooding silence after he mentions John Bostock - this is clearly a sore spot for Neil.
- 'I know Barcelona's players are very short, but they are also very good.'
- Neil then seems to contradict himself by saying he does not want his centre halves to pass the ball. 'Kick it in the stands, they'll not score from there.' Some players don't buy into this immediately, with Anton Ferdinand a prime culprit. Neil showed the lads a video of Gael Clichy giving a goal away with a back pass in the Champions League, and wrote a column in the Independent thanking Gael for doing his job for him.
- Neil unveils a one-nation Tory attitude to defending, advocating man-marking on the grounds that 'personal responsibility is a fantastic motivator, especially against talented wingers like Jobi McAnuff'.
- At Notts County, 'Brian Clough used to walk his labrador past our postage stamp of a training ground, no doubt laughing on his way back to his salubrious grounds'.
- 'I'd be hopeless managing England, not that I'll ever get the chance.'
- There is a truly medieval discussion of tactics. Neil has used the phrase 'disputed winner' three times in the last five minutes.
- Neil claims he went to watch Barcelona train at Loftus Road and 'they didn't even work on corners or shape!'
There's a lot in there, but what jumped out at me is that his own son wanted twenty quid to take part in his nonsense.
He was once caretaker manager of Harchester United.
I'd missed this donning.
Oh shit.
Play on if I know African refs.
The one year I randomly watched the AFCON with you guys was fuckin peak scenes. African football is insane.
This is still a personal favourite:Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAKyI_cbF18
Kapango the don.