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Gremlin
Draw a smiley face on it before it goes.
I went to the toilet and had a huge fart, did one wipe just to be sure and the toilet paper came back covered in blood.
Hmmm
Rip
I can't tell if this is intended or not but I went to the doctor once convinced I had bum cancer and he told me that it was just one of these.Quote:
Originally Posted by niko_cee
Had the shits since Monday. This morning has been the worst by far. Gonna have to move a TV into the toilet at this rate.
I’ve a high temperature, shortness of breath, and a cough. Any ideas?
Hayfever?
I've been short of breath to the point I've had to be sitting or standing up to try and take a deep one and naturally your mind goes there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
I also have hayfever.
Those are the big three, Giggs. Don't you get your test results back today?
Doesn't look great for you either, Tim.
Or Spikey.
No it’s still marked as in the lab. I’ll wake up to a notification one of these mornings and go top myself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
Seems excessive but at least you won't go down as a Covid death.
Fucking cat bit me. Proper bite like. He was going mental at another cat outside and I tried to lift him away from the window.
Is my arm going to get infected and fall off?
When did you last get a tetanus jab?
I'm not sure I've ever had one.
Not as filthy as a dog bite but it could still be infected.
I've never been bitten by a dog.
Dogs > cats.
Rip.
You will have had and it'd be extremely unlikely you haven't had your lifetime's supply by now (unless you're some sort of anti-vac wacko, in which case enjoy your poor life choice).Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Yeah, having googled it, it seems you get it as a kid.
I'm obviously not an anti-vaxer.
Last tetanus jab was 2002 so booked in for another tomorrow. Doctor said there shouldn't be much else to worry about but if there's any redness or swelling around it, he can give me antibiotics.
Merc'd by a cat and now having to cover up his Antivax beliefs. :(
:D
Ffs
If your last booster was less than 10 years ago you normally get another one. Enjoy, my last one hurt like fuck but they did insist on doing it on my ravaged arm.
More than 10 years ago, you mean? The doctor said it lasts 10 years so that's why I need another.
Sorry yes, more than 10.
Don't apologise to the needle dodger.
My grandad got bitten by his chihuahua and he had to have the infected finger removed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Rat bites are bad too then.
Most likely your arms and legs and head will fall off.
Look I can take the shit from everyone else but you're a doctor, please reassure me. :(Quote:
Originally Posted by randomlegend
Lol you'll be fine.
If that cat was radioactive, you'd be in for some superpowers.
*Invites Boyd's mum and dad into the Family Room*
No relatives allowed at the moment, unless Boyd's under 16.
Even with his 'issues'?
@randomlegend the skin around these bites is kind of yellowing. Are they getting infected?
There's no swelling and they're not sore to touch or anything.
Will the pub be open for the funeral?
Social distancing shouldn't be an issue.
There'll be tea and sandwiches in the church hall after the service like any good Presbyterian funeral.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Convert so we can have a session.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Red, hot, swollen, painful or producing pus are the signs to watch out for. Yellowing is probably just where it bruised a bit and is going through the normal bruise colour sequence.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Had a lol at a blood sample request today where someone had written "pussy tonsils".
I've gone through an entire loo roll in the space of a few hours. :(
Do you end up with the shits every weekend?
Maybe shouldn’t have gone back to the same Indian.
Pretty much.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
I actually bit the bullet on Thursday night. This is something else.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe