Didn’t you hear Cersei? Sellswords are shite.
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Didn’t you hear Cersei? Sellswords are shite.
Stole this from reddit, but it's brilliant. Jorah's Game of Thrones story:
- Marry a woman who steps all over you, sell slaves to keep her happy.
- Caught selling slaves, exiled to Essos.
- Father disowns you.
- Offered royal pardon to spy on a girl.
- Fall in love with said girl who is conveniently married to a ruthless warlord.
- Warlord dies, girl swears off men.
- Nevermind. New man.
- Girl finds out about earlier spying, get exiled again.
- Father dies before you can redeem yourself in his eyes.
- Find one of girl's mortal enemies, capture and bring him to her.
- She likes him better. Replaces you. Also you have grayscale now.
- Fight your way through arenas as a slave to see her again.
- Finally redeem yourself by saving her life.
- She leaves.
- Forced to team up with her lover to find her.
- Find her. She already freed herself.
- She forgives you. Tells you she'll accept you back into her service if you cure grayscale.
- No cure.
- Sneak back into Westeros to find the finest doctors.
- Quarantined in a cell.
- Go through extremely painful experimental procedure in hopes of returning to girl.
- Success!
- Return to your beloved.
- newboyfriend.exe
- Oh he's also your dad's new favorite son.
- Offer to go on suicide mission with new bf to please her.
- She saves you from certain death but is forced to leave bf behind.
- score
- Bf returns, is hotter than ever in her eyes.
- Forced to listen to them talk about going on a sex cruise to Winterfell.
- Suicide mission was for nothing since Cersei refuses to truce.
- Fail to convince the heir to your house to avoid certain death.
- Girl puts you in suicide cavalry charge.
- Miraculously survive charge.
- Get killed in dramatic fashion protecting the girl you are deeply in love with and fiercely loyal to. But at least she'll live to be a great and benevolent ruler like you've always wanted for the 8 years you've known her.
- She genocides King's Landing.
I spent most of that episode wanting it to end.
Turning full heel by destroying your city/kingdom after they've yielded was pretty stupid.
Think of the rebuild cost and time.
Yeah, it's possible she may not have been thinking rationally when she was doing it. There were definitely 1 or 2 subtle hints towards it.
Do you really need to be thinking all that rationally to realise that fucking levelling your city is a bad idea?
I don't think her heel turn is a bad or unexpected way to tell the story, it's just terribly unearned in the show. She's been desperate and ruthless before, but there's been almost no signs of her actually being "mad Targ" and for her to just genocide the entire city is straight up character assassination.
Also what the fuck was the point of Jaime's arc? To show that he couldn't escape his addiction of sister-fucking, and that back when he killed Aerys he did it to save the city but now "eh, screw those civilians".
What was the point of the WW-arc?
How did Euron magically wash up right next to the dingy?
Ugh.
This is kinda my thought on it. I mean, even Clarke aside I've found the character entirely dislikeable but I didn't ever think they were really doing enough to suggest it was actually going to happen, half the time she just seemed like an idiot who thought that was how you did things. The build in that episode with the fear / love stuff was decent and they've done a bit more with it in this series in a couple of moments but unearned is about the right word. Another thing that needed more time than the rush job that has been this series.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bernanke
That episode really didn't do much for me. Jamie's arc has turned out to be a waste of time because after a slow build to being an honourable suddenly just went "Oops nah I'm still Cersei's slave after all" and died an episode later. As somebody's already said the varys stuff felt like a total rush-job (more cramming of story), the megadragon slayers suddenly can't hit one that's flying right at them, a big Euron / Jamie fight that it hadn't even occurred to me to care about, no cathartic come-uppance for Cersei (assuming they're not miraculously going to survive), Jon Snerr being useless again, Golden Company and Iron Fleet a total waste of time when it came down to it.
Cleganebowl was decent and the ending was about as good as could have been hoped for after all the hype, Varys was good with what little he had to work with and Tyrion was great. And the spectacle of the thing was amazing. But on the whole another meh episode in a fairly meh season because everything just feels like they rushed homework done the night before.
Actually the Hound / Arya bit was also really good, liked that. And Tyrion / Jamie.
I thought it was all shite and rendered most of what's happened for the last 8 series completely meaningless.
But hey, a song of ice and fire, I suppose the moral of the story is whether it's ice or fire there's always some plodding, useless monarch waiting to shaft everyone.
It's weird that everything feels both long and rushed but I enjoyed it.
I quite enjoyed it. Nothing too much to complain about other than what's been mentioned. There's going to be a Civil War in the next episode. Snow and Tyrion have had it with her shit. All aboard team Sansa.
I feel like there's been enough build up to Dragon woman being a nutter for me to buy that (she's threatened to kill just about everyone she's met since season 2), but in terms of a lot of (frankly more important) stuff like Jaime/Cersei and the fall of Cersei, that was about as uninteresting a way to have done it.
Killing Varys really felt like they were going through a checklist of people who need sorting out in dramatically inert fashion before they can end it. End of last episode, show him plotting, beginning of this one, everyone magically knows he's plotting and kill him. Job done, onto the next one.
I was disappointed with Varys. The Varys I know would have seen that coming and legged it in disguise. Still, Varys was right (except for the 20 years he spent plotting to get her back on the throne).
Nonsense, people who are bonkers are far from unlikely to have break like that. Some of them stab their mums or shoot up schools - unfortunately for all involved she has access to a dragon.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bernanke
That was the best episode of the series by a mile.
The writing is no better than The Walking Dead at this point.
The best episode was the second if only for the fireside scenes.Quote:
Originally Posted by randomlegend
This was shit.
I enjoyed that a lot for the most part.
Have to ignore the guided arrows from last week though. Which begs the question, if she was just going to total King's Landing anyway they didn't have to needlessly get rid of the other dragon, now making the scorpion defences look ridiculous.
I liked it. Bit odd they were so crap at hitting the dragons with their big arrows compared to last week but other than that I thought it was good.
Can anybody explain what we learned from Arya's involvement in that episode?
She's killing Jon protecting the Mad Queen./
She's been properly radicalised against Daenerys nowQuote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
We learnt that Arya is offing Dany ASAP next week. Although what they're going to fill the other 100 minutes with now, I'm not sure.
I'm in two minds on that episode.
On the one hand, I don't think I've come across an episode like this in a long while, which got the central theme of the show, that there are no winners, only losers, everyone is as awful as each other and civilians suffer.
Plus Cleganebowl was decent, especially when I thought Zombor was going to Oberyn the fuck out of The Hound.
Plus I thought Dany going full Targaryen was believable enough, we've seen as early as Season 2/3 that she can be a nutter, she just had enough adulation and advisors to curb her more psycho tendencies. Killing her off next episode would be proper cathartic.
On the other hand;
* The +10 Accuracy on the Ballista went to shit.
* Jamie - Cersei needed a bigger payoff
* Like others have mentioned, the Varys arc needed a better payoff. They should have paced it better and killed him next episode.
* Lol Golden Company. All that hype for nothing.
* Euron needed a bigger fight than a drowned man (ARF) fighting a cripple.
I would have two hours of Jon Snow going 'Are you having a laugh? Is she having a laugh?' and looking at whoever is left with a black Sopranos ending.
Dany has deffo....... MADE THE LIST!
https://i.ibb.co/jvChNHH/649-DED84-2...-E17519-BE.gif
I feel like the series has really been suffering from it's self-imposed "need" to keep things (sort of) secret, basically not revealing the intentions of anything.
What it has lead to is them ever so slightly hinting at Denaerys going a little nutty at times, etc, etc but they couldn't really commit for fear of fucking up their Marketing Material (WHO sits on the throne in the end!? Look it could even be the NIGHT KING lol). So then now when it's all coming down to it, they have to do all these character u-turns and hail marys and what have you to tie it all together.
That's also why the show was better until it surpassed the books - in broad terms the spoilers were already there if you wanted them, so they didn't have to worry about "hiding" stuff that would happen later on in the show.
Anyway. Denearys to execute Tyrion and Jon next episode. Arya to kill Denearys. Sansa and/or Gendry to sit on the throne?
Sansa is going to be a bit Cersei I reckon.
She'll ride any old cock in the seven kingdoms to get onto the throne.
Has she had a sexual encounter that wasn't a rape or an attempted rape?
That was a grim episode. It does feel like most of the episodes have been written by other people then stitched together at the last minute.
I'm ready to be massively disappointed by the last episode.
It was all a dream, and Jo[h]n Snow is some wanker working in New York and all the characters are his colleagues.
Not on screen/mentioned.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian
Crossroads style :drool:Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Really? I feel like most backstories we hear of school shooters make it pretty clear that they were very openly fucking mental way before they woke up that specific morning.Quote:
Originally Posted by randomlegend
Is there even an iron throne anymore? It must have melted in all that palaver.
I don't see how you get at her without turning the dragon, which presumably only Snerr can do.
Also I'd quite like Tyrion's arc to end with him bimbling back to Casterly Rock for tits and wine, but I don't think I'm going to get what I want.
Arya to croak Dany, Bronn to save Tyrion :nodd:
Yeah, I think I'm just at the point where it's ruined & they can't save it. Just do all the killing in five minutes & then put a giant middle finger on screen for the other 85mins.
Bronn on the throne after telling Tyrion "nah, I don't want Highgarden, I'll kill ya if you don't give me the Seven Kingdoms".
I feel like Drogon was suddenly about a thousand percent more powerful than him or either of his brothers have ever been established to be before in that episode.
Yeah and Danys been doing the equivalent of pulling legs off frogs for about 2 seasonsQuote:
Originally Posted by Bernanke
I'm on the "all a dream" train, but Brann waking up at the bottom of the tower and it was his dream.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Then he dies and everybody lives happily ever after.
I will find G.R.R.R.R.R.R.M. and knock his nose out the back of his head if they do that.
Strange seeing some of the reactions in here, I thought it was probably the best episode of a mediocre series so far. My only main gripe would be the pointless inclusion of the fight between Euron and Jaime. I would have been happy with an instant incineration on the boat as a way to top Euron, he's been such a needlessly crazy character that they clearly didn't know how to write him out of the situation.
I also thought the whole Hound/Arya scene where it was flashing between the both of them as the fight and fire continued was very well done.
I agree with Alex too, Drogon must have taken some PEDs to prepare for this as he was ripping up the city with no problem.
They're really good at this.
I think that's a rather cheap shot to pull something that lasted probably less than a frame *EDIT*OR TWO (SORRY FOR BRINGING SHAME ON MY FAMILY WITH THIS ERROR).
Also here's a crossover tweet for us to all enjoy.
True, but it's also not that hard to remember to have the metal-handed man remember to wear his golden hand.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
'Less than a frame', Phonics? Have a think about that one.
They more than likely did multiple shots and multiple angles over the course of an hour. I'm sure they had him wear it when the angle called for it. Shit happens, it wouldn't be highlighted outside of some weirdo subreddit if people weren't a bit merked off with the general quality of the show.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian
Christ, you are a dullard. How do you get through a day without people repeatedly calling you a prick?Quote:
Originally Posted by John
It absolutely would be highlighted. People do this thing all the time even in films, TV, etc. that they love.
I expect there are websites dedicated to it.
There were entire programs dedicated to it before Reddit even existed.