Apprentice 2019: Can blind people be just as smug?

The Apprentice 2019

Episode 1 air date: Wednesday 2nd of October

Hosts: Sugar & Co, and Tom Allen on You're Fired.

The Dickheads: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/pro...the-candidates
https://images.immediate.co.uk/produ...resize=620,413

Top Quotes:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dean Ahmad

I’ve definitely got the gift of the gab, I can persuade anyone to do anything.

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Soon to be seen getting nobody to do anything without a row.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Description of Lewis Ellis

A self-proclaimed “maverick” who doesn’t like to follow the rules

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Read: Cunt.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lubna Farhan

I came from a council estate… I have made myself into something good and I’m on my way to becoming something great.

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Will be chippy to anybody who disagrees with her and who can also enunciate because they're POSH and LOOKING DOWN ON [HER]!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shahin Hassan

I love business more than sharks love blood…I’m ruthless in my pursuit of success.

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Grossly misunderstanding the emotional capabilities of sharks.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by "Lottie Lion (come on)

I bring ‘class’ to everything and ensure nothing I do is half-standard or tacky.

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Will have a massive blazing row with the council estate one at some point.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ryan-Mark Parsons

I am the epitome of luxury.

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Yes, that's a double-barrelled first name. Fuck off, idiot.

Task 1 - "Lord Sugar kicks off the new series with a task like no other. Sixteen candidates are sent to South Africa to set up wine and safari tours."

That first task should be a belter.

Also looking forward to Sugar repeatedly putting his foot in it with the blind guy.

Ryan-Mark stands out early on as the obvious one to watch, but I'm keeping an eye on Thomas Skinner and "I don’t plan - I just do everything on impulse. When I plan, I always get it wrong"

https://ryanmarkparsons.co.uk/

Look at the nick of that.

:lol:

The quote on his home page actually made me laugh out loud.

Quote:

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'…you spoke very naturally.'

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— HRH Prince William, Duke of Cambridge


:D

That quote is amazing.

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/c...g/IMG_3151.JPG

Is that massive? I hope that's massive.

“The Luxury Connoisseur lives for opulence, embraces hedonism and is a ferocious entrepreneur.”

Dying.

This is tonight, chums.

They're not doing episodes on two days back to back to kick off the series this year though.

Apparently the winner has been leaked.

I'm sure that's happened before but I don't frequent the outlets that are liable to leak it and I'm not on the social media.

I think it's happened before but never before the series has started airing.

Here we go

Lottie :wub:

As if anybody knows their names at this point Mahow, you creep.

Next you're going to be saying I shouldn't have already seen bikini pictures of her.

I know the population of South Africa!

Take that bitches.

She was wrong btw, it's 58m. Sack her.

I despise them all already. Love this show

"We can't promise anything...."

Yea, they totally are going to promise everyone that.

Guaranteed.

Apprentice lunch included is always gold.

"here's some cheese and crackers, good luck"

Wine snobs are the fucking worst.

Kill her with fire.

So the girls are selling a tour worth 250 rand per person for 2500 rand per person?! These poor fuckers are going to spend over £100 for a few mouthfuls of wine.

Fuck me, they're both going to be a shambles.

Lottie seems like a total cunt. Good choice, Mahow.

600 Rand down from 2300? That's not going to cause a war when the group talk to each other.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Browning

Fuck me, they're both going to be a shambles.

Lottie seems like a total cunt. Good choice, Mahow.

600 Rand down from 2300? That's not going to cause a war when the group talk to each other.

---

No chance, no one talks to each other on these...

They're both so cringe is completely opposite ways. :D

These facts are stunning. You can feel the energy being sucked out of the bus.

Luxury.

The two bus journeys were fucking hilarious.

Ahahhaahahhaaha.

Here are some facts about the wine cellar that we have no idea where it is.

How the fuck did they get 22.5% out of that?

You can bring 12 whole people into the shop? Fuck off.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Browning

How the fuck did they get 22.5% out of that?

You can bring 12 whole people into the shop? Fuck off.

---

I liked her when she was staying at 5 and then she just crumbled.

Paint your fucking rock quick sharp and fuck off into the shop. /cockneywanker.

Lottie really is a twat.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

Wine snobs are the fucking worst.

Kill her with fire.

---

In a restaurant a while ago we heard a couple tell the sommelier they were "in fact very educated in Chardonnay".

Not sure you're the go to on consumables snobbery, RL..

The daggers being eyed between the girls on the refunds comment was amazing

£5 from the shop. :D

Him celebrating that they had no refunds and then being told they lost was amazing.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ian

Not sure you're the go to on consumables snobbery, RL..

The daggers being eyed between the girls on the refunds comment was amazing

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The only thing I'm actually a snob about is chocolate.

https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img...45/1182248.jpg

Lottie.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by randomlegend

The only thing I'm actually a snob about is chocolate.

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Maybe the only thing she's a snob about is wine..

I mean it's not because she's on the Apprentice and a cunt t but y'know

Fucking Matt Edmondson. He's as funny as a burst bollock.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ian

Maybe the only thing she's a snob about is wine..

I mean it's not because she's on the Apprentice and a cunt t but y'know

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Well the difference is I'd never announce to a restaurant that "I'm educated on the Madagascan varieties".

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ian

Fucking Matt Edmondson. He's as funny as a burst bollock.

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The interview thing he always does is fucking horrific.

Also, I don't know why they're making a big deal regarding whole 25/22.5% gift shop deal. They'd have made what, another 50p had they gotten the 25%?

If they'd have lost because of it sure it's huge but their sales were so shit it didn't matter.

I thought Tom Allen was a bit shit as a host. Maybe he'll grow into it as the series moves on, but every time someone else spoke, the transition was very awkward.

"Yes... *awkward pause*.... very true..... *awkward pause*...."

I like cockney Jack Swagger, he seems partially aware of his own uselessness.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by randomlegend

Well the difference is I'd never announce to a restaurant that "I'm educated on the Madagascan varieties".

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I think you should, let them know they don't appreciate chocolate properly.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Browning

I thought Tom Allen was a bit shit as a host. Maybe he'll grow into it as the series moves on, but every time someone else spoke, the transition was very awkward.

"Yes... *awkward pause*.... very true..... *awkward pause*...."

---

Yeah, I generally quite like him but I thought that too. I dunno if I've actually seen him as the host on anything before.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by randomlegend

The only thing I'm actually a snob about is chocolate.

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Knives.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Spikey M

Knives.

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There's more to being a snob than just being interested in and owning nice ones of something. I don't go round people's houses and refuse to eat what they've cooked because it was cut with a shit knife or something.

That would be amazing though.

"You call this carved? Good day, sir!"

Shouting YOU CALL THAT A STABBING at the 10 o'clock news.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by randomlegend

There's more to being a snob than just being interested in and owning nice ones of something. I don't go round people's houses and refuse to eat what they've cooked because it was cut with a shit knife or something.

---

Went to play board games at friends house a few weeks ago, everyone knew it was a 6 hour monster and should eat first.

My slightly spectrummy mate was being a right grumpy cunt, then revealed he hadn't eaten lunch. When host friend kindly offered crisps, toast and a few other things he said "I dont consider that food, don't you have any VEGETABLES? maybe a CARROT?"

Great guy deep down but crikey, not his most socially aware moment.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbi...w-gandhi-jibe/

Lol.

These cab drivers must hear some absolute drivel.

That little twat needs all the slapping. All of it.

See also: Lottie. Already keen for her to get the boot.

"Cheesy Cola"? What the fuck?

Was just coming on to question the same thing :D

Such a terrible idea.

This pitch. C'mon, girls.

Just do it for £3 you twats. It's an ice lolly that's going to cost you fuck all to make.

"You are a u-turn."

This little fucker makes my teeth itch.

That pitch. :D Fucking hell.

This is definitely the time to have this argument again, lads.

Selling Mini Milks to the corporate client. :drool:

Oh good, vomit covered lollies. With bits in.

"This tastes like my nan's wardrobe."

This pair should have absolutely rinsed the girls for being fucking useless.

Can't see anyway the PM doesn't go here. Yea, they didn't give them a full brief, but what he made was nothing close to the brief he was given.

The whole "YOU DIDN'T TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT TO MAKE" thing was a nonsense argument. Dean was shit but the PM was the right choice to go.

Watching now.

AMAZING bit of negotiation from the sub team leader of the guys.

I'd like 75 at £3.50
We could do 150 for £3.85
You want me to order double and pay more...

Kenna was the right choice although Dean could have gone too.

15p for a bespoke PREMIUM product when you're getting £3.85 is mental.

A coconut milk base with a couple of fresh raspberries as the lolly and some glitter to finish would have been so much better.

I'm not sure how they thought the glitter was all gonna stay on the outside and be visible.

Samir Nasri has been on the pies.

Tom Allen was way better on You're Fired this week.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Vercetti

Samir Nasri has been on the pies.

---

:D

He and Claude were great together.

Kenna also came across as a really likeable chap.

Agreed, he felt a lot more natural this week.

Kenna fucked himself the moment he went solo with his decisions thus he deserved to go too but none seem to cover themselves in glory.

Toys, eh? Hopefully Hyphen and Lottie the Lion both die in the same tragic stickebrick fatality.

Team Fabulous ffs.

Of course Hyphen suggested Team Fabulous. Of course he did.

Unicorns is too over done. No retailer will buy it when they probably have 20 similar products from established companies.

He's so argumentative.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Browning

Unicorns is too over done. No retailer will buy it when they probably have 20 similar products from established companies.

---

Same with slime.

It's pretty much dead now though.

A fucking positive affirmation turtle?

This is shaping up to be the worst advert ever produced in Apprentice history.

I will be shocked if this is anything but a shitty 0-0 draw.

A fucking cockney positive affirmation turtle. Burn it.

These lot are all dreadful.

The reaction to THE ANIMAL Squad advert :D

Fuck me, they're both so shit. If they sell anything I'm quitting my day job to sell shit toys.

It's amazing how out of touch the people they get on this.

How can MARKETING EXPERTS be so shit?

I love Thomas's bargaining strategy.

"I thought younger than 6-8"
"NAH MATE IT'S DEFO 6 AND ABOVE"

Good answer, Thomas, just tell them they're wrong.

To be fair, he did say that's what he was going to do on the way in.

This focus group is great.

Those kid focus groups were incredible.

This pitches are absolutely not.

He's pissing me off calling it a viral video when about 6 people have seen it.

The general consensus? 1 person said its alright.

Shaky voice woman won it.

How does he know pitching is one of his skills when he's 12 years old and works in a shop?

Thomas' reaction was amazing.

From pure joy to dejection.

I'd take Thomas in just in the hope that he talks himself into trouble but I reckon objectively Riyonn probably ought to go.

Lottie is an odd choice.

I've always thought that with these pitches you should be honest if you realise the product is shit and tell them how you're going to fix it. Standing there saying "this is gonna be the next big craze, best selling toy of 2019!" is bollocks when they can tell exactly how shite it is.

Lottie is a twat but what was she meant to do? Had she said it was all great they'd have pulled her up on lying.

The focus group hated it because it was too young.

No idea how Riyonn is still there.

As you've both said, it was bizarre to take Lottie in there.

I don't think Solomon had enough of an impact to get booted and Riyonn was fucking garbage. Ergo, Riyonn has a better business plan.

The women on one of the groups talking about how the world of unicorns and slime had never been brought together before, that's the kind of thing that stays with you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

Lottie is a twat but what was she meant to do? Had she said it was all great they'd have pulled her up on lying.

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That's nonsense. You're not obligated to disclose everything. All she has to do is focus on the positives. Instead of "we got mixed reviews", just say "we got some great reviews". It's a skill that you need if you're going to be selling and pitching.

Anyway, Ryionn should've gone. He did the right thing in not taking in Tommy - even though the product was too young, it wasn't THAT bad, and he was the only one who actually did anything. The "viral video" was probably the worst thing ever done on the show, including pants man.

Yeah that video was incredibly bad. The final screen which comprised of just a green background, the logo and the words "Featuring. Tommy the Turtle" was like something created in a primary school IT lesson. Lottie's explanation of the market research was similar to a previous candidate (although nowhere near as bad), when he just explained all of the negative feedback in the pitch.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SvN

That's nonsense. You're not obligated to disclose everything. All she has to do is focus on the positives. Instead of "we got mixed reviews", just say "we got some great reviews". It's a skill that you need if you're going to be selling and pitching.

---

At which point Sugar would have been fuming as it was a lie.

Even her saying there were mixed reviews was a lie, the amazing focus group ripped it a new one.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SvN

Anyway, Ryionn should've gone. He did the right thing in not taking in Tommy - even though the product was too young, it wasn't THAT bad, and he was the only one who actually did anything. The "viral video" was probably the worst thing ever done on the show, including pants man.

---

It was 4-6 years too old but others could have pulled him up for that too.

I'd have taken him in just in the hope of him stitching himself up.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

At which point Sugar would have been fuming as it was a lie.

Even her saying there were mixed reviews was a lie, the amazing focus group ripped it a new one.

---

It wasn't a lie. They did get some positives. One of the girls said they liked the buttons, another said something about liking the positive messages. Obviously 90% of it was negative, but you focus on the 10% that wasn't. It's not a lie, it's being selective with what you say.

These people aren’t idiots though. Anyone can say “we’ve had some positive reviews!” They’re still going to look at it and realise it’s shite.

She handles it badly, for sure, but I don’t think it would have helped them either way.

Lottie simply wasn't going to get sacked on the basis of her performance in the task so there was no value in taking her in.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Browning

These people aren’t idiots though. Anyone can say “we’ve had some positive reviews!” They’re still going to look at it and realise it’s shite.

She handles it badly, for sure, but I don’t think it would have helped them either way.

---

100% agreed. They're not going to suddenly change their mind about the product. But she was there to talk about the focus group, and she did it badly. I just take objection with Mahow saying "What else could she do?!".

Lottie talks such bullshit.

And she's SEETHING.

But but, everyone in her family own electric bikes...

Seethe-o-meter is close to breaking point.

I mean she is being ignored here but that's what happens when you're a total hag.

Burnt orange and red/white?

Just make it black and silver ffs.

Bound Darry is really annoying me.

The bike named after the Godness of Love doesn't half look like a bike for a dork.

Also how long until one of them remembers what an e-fit is?

Tell you what, this is super efficient. They're having their cafe argument now. They should just tell Lord Sugar who they've decided to fire for him and get back to the house for a glass of vino.

He's going to chin them all.

That rocket costume :D

No, we don't want your extra £1000 but thank you...

The fuck?

Yeah I've no idea what the fuck happened there. If it comes down to £900.... :drool:

Fuck, they smacked it out of the park.

Riyonn needs to go.

That is a fisting.

Didn't Riyonn, as much as he's a fanny, sell best with Lottie?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ian

That is a fisting.

Didn't Riyonn, as much as he's a fanny, sell best with Lottie?

---

Probably but he was the driving force behind the crap white rocket, the burnt orange etc etc.

Lottie can at least fall back on the 'But I was offering shit up'. Riyonn has been shit every week too.

Marianne can go too, Sugar will hate that she turned down £1000 even though it didn't matter. Lubna was crap too.

Riyonn was absolute turd last week. I reckon he takes Marianne and one of the two who sold nowt.

Do a triple just for the hell of it :drool:

Lubna goes I think. Yeah the bike was shit and not what Tommy wanted at all but to sell nothing in such a massive task is unforgivable.

What the fuck is this defence from Lubna?

I'm not the brightest, but you know, I'm true to myself.

The BAME wont be happy.

He's knocking out the ethnics one after the next.

No idea why he did that at the end but still: Next week is the best task. :cool:

Buying task :cool:

Interviews > Buying task > ... are there any other regulars or semi regulars?

The final is, of course, consistently the worst episode these days for a number of reasons.

Lubna was pretty funny on You're Fired last night. "I'm so glad Lord Sugar put me.out of my misery, I couldn't stand another few weeks of looking like a twat on TV"

Tom Allen also decent again which makes that really awkward first episode even weirder.

I haven't watched the video, the headline is enough:
"Apprentice candidates debate when WWII started"

Don't forget it's the best task of the season tonight, lads.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ian

I haven't watched the video, the headline is enough:
"Apprentice candidates debate when WWII started"

---

Blank, dead eyes.

Apparently only Lottie knew it started in 1939. Fucking hell.

Also:

Fellow contestant, Lewis Ellis, replied to her comments admitting to "struggling" to know the wartime dates.

His Tweet, which has since been deleted, said: "We did struggle to recall the exact dates but I do recall WWII involved aggressive foreign policy by the Nazi party and an unprovoked attack … why does that sound familiar."

Lottie's father is Belgian and once fought for German armed forces, she said.

:harold:

lol at putting yourself forward and then voting against.

Outstanding.

1-0 ronaldo

Getting donned by a party shop.

£30 offer on a £200 book? LOL.

Claude's face then.

“A calculated risk”. Fuck off.

What a mong.

They'll lose it because of that.

Hold up, did she just offer more than he asked for? Did I miss something?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Yevrah

Claude's face then.

---

it's been a good episode for that from him and Karren.

I haven't watched this for years, but I don't know why they bother claiming it has anything to do with business any more.

The double barrelled wanker is actually alright it seems.

He said it would be £10 to replace, but then said it was used on the boat race winner and was special.... I'd still have started at £10, or asked him where he would go to replace it.

Is there only one book store in the whole of Oxford and Cambridge?

Thomas has donned Lottie there. Lost in all the bollocks was her trying to offer £68 when they'd just said £60....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ian

it's been a good episode for that from him and Karren.

---

Living in Oxford it's interesting watching Karren. She doesn't have a clue what she's talking about for the most part.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

Is there only one book store in the whole of Oxford and Cambridge?

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There's one renowned rare books store in Oxford, but a fuck load of others.

"You don't gamble in business"

What?

Claude again. :D

And you can see she's done about as much research as Alan Hansen for a non-England World Cup game.

You'd be able to get a book fitting that criteria in a few places.

It has to be pre WW2, not from the 19th century.

Oxford and Cambridge are obviously both cities.

Fucking hell.

I like Thomas. Lottie reminds me of a praying mantis.

Marianne was crap.

Punt (lol) her into the sea.

Riyonn has to go.

Riyonn has been shite from top to bottom. Get rid.

Sadly Hyphen is probably still safe.

Riyonn lolling that Toad can't possibly be gin (or vodka) when the art guy told them in the car at the start was gold, especially as they're all claiming they can't remember it now.

Design a rollercoaster is the next task? YES. I am 100% in.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

One of them's bound to suggest a name like "Crash!" or "Pile Up" or "Heap of Broken Limbs" or something.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euthanasia_Coaster

They should commission that.

Riyonn just admitted that they called up pretty much every bakery in Oxford trying to find Toad.

Surely after 2 or 3 had no idea that they should have twigged that it isn't bread.

Remembering that this about rollercoasters had me try and fail to find the photo of Lofty. Didn't it used to come up with the right Google image search? Probably went down with the old board I guess.

That was a classic.

https://i.imgur.com/migUE9O.jpg

Roller coaster guy is the right thing to search for. Some of his bantmates created a twitter or something for him.

Fucking top result for roller coaster guy. :D

Still amazing.

All of you better be saving a copy. Can't risk losing it.

This presentation is so wooden.

Knife to the back to Thomas.

Thomas is seething.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pepe

All of you better be saving a copy. Can't risk losing it.

---

I've booked in to get it tattooed on both my back and stomach, just to be safe.

Of course that was Ryan-Mark's reaction.

Thomas is getting shut down.

I've definitely done a backwards drop on a coaster before... Claude was talking shite there.

Karren and Claude both speaking some amount of shite in this one so far to be fair.

"Oh they just want it to be the fastest and have the most loops." Yes, Karren, people like rollercoasters that do more things, faster things, bigger things.

As a concept I like 'INSOMNIA' better as I think it's a really good idea about changing from dreams to nightmares.

Getting on a spaceship to travel round the world in order to restore the gravitational force (it would spin back time you mongs, Superman showed us this) is horseshit.

The actual rollercoaster view goes to THE FINAL LOOP though.

The concept of Insomnia is fine but the way they've presented it is awful.

As if that one won.

Thomas gone unless his business plan (PILLOWS, GUVNAR) is brilliant.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ian

As if that one won.

---

Who wants to deal with a coaster with 15 loops that goes 125mph in 1.25 seconds?

It would be constantly breaking.

I'm thinking double.

Lottie and Scarlett.

Dean has contributed nothing throughout and I think that while Lottie is a turbocunt she's not to blame for this.

She's had a stroke there.

"no, no, no. My aim is to NOT get on with everybody"

He's gone soft.

I thought the coin flip was to see which one was fired.

Aisha started to get up about three times there before she actually did.

View Tweet

The bar is set, Apprentice dickheads.

Thomas looked so happy to be moved away from Lottie.

Why does Alan Sugar sound like he's just learning to read?

"Yah I'm also laaaaaaahhhhk super good"
"So you wanna be PM?"
Shits out sphincter "WHAT? NO!"

Fuck off, Hyphen.

They need the king of the advert.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/...1671114323.png

Dean is an absolute gimp.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ian

Dean is an absolute gimp.

---

Have you seen him on that advert board though?

The extent to which he would do anything Lewis told him to is Jedi Jim-esque.

Wow, Helsinki pride was amazing.

Double firing of Thomas and Marianne I reckon.

Punt the three of them.

Fuck off, Sugar. Should've sacked the little weasel.

He's not been PM so he can play that card when he thought Sugar would fire him.

Oh, I'll be PM next week.

He's already backtracking on it.

Well it's a vote so...

He is an odious little scrote, isn't he. I was praying for a double firing.

If 7 weeks have gone by and you've not considered yourself capable of managing ANY of them, that says a lot.

Him saying this week that he'd be a great PM but he wasn't putting his hat in the ring should have been enough to get rid of the little bastard on the spot.

Famous last words from Lottie.

"We didn't PROMISE them bottomless booze...."

You literally did.

So they’re going to piss away money on an entertainer they don’t want? Amazing.

£140 wasted...

Although not as bad as a set of violinists for over 200.

Lottie is safe though after that fuck up.

I like this give no fucks Carina.

Ryan-Mark with the LADS.

Changing the sub team leader is amazing.

Lottie is mental.

Lottie :D

No one asked for about any allergies or dietary requirements? Pissing hell.

Hyphen is literally wearing a crown.

Dry already :D

“A very expensive fruit salad”. :D

A fruit salad for mains :D

That micro-management.

About half of each team could go.

A fruit salad for a main. Christ almighty.

It HAS to be a multi firing.

He's only got one multi this year but yeah, this feels like the one.

Hyphen has to go. Not sure who else you get rid of. He’s trying to pass the buck on the allergies.

£15. Fuck. Is that the smallest margin of victory on a profit task?

Hyphen wants to take Marianne with him and it might be successful.

Lewis has not said a single word.

Fuck me. Thomas is a hero.

Is he looking for his hole or what?

Fuck off, Hyphen.

It has to be the multi next week then.

I'm surprised he didn't cut Marianne.

Thomas is winning this, he's the Bart to Sralan's Mr Burns.

Ryan-Mark was hopeless, but hilarious. I'll miss him from the show, but it was absolutely the right call to get rid. The fact that he tried to bring in Pamela - who's quick thinking was the only reason they didn't get another £400 of fines - shows how clueless he is.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

It has to be the multi next week then.

---

Two weeks before interviews with three more to get rid of, no?

Marianne - Flirts with competence but can't seem to quite get it right a lot of the time. Probably not long for this series.
Dean - Absolutely useless and should go soon.
Lewis - Has seemed either useless or edited out of relevance without getting any real stick so I assume he's got a good business plan.
Carina - A bit rubbish? I think?
Thomas - Entertaining and they'll definitely want him in the interviews even if Sugar has no intention of him winning.
Lottie - A psychopath who will clearly have a blazing row with somebody in the interviews so again, probably safe for now.
Pamela - Seems level-headed without having done anything that good for the most part so again, probably has a good business plan.
Scarlett - I just had to Google her to remind myself who she was. Probably in the Lewis / Carina mold.

I'm going for Dean, Marianne and Carina to go in the next two weeks.

Dean has looked out of his depth every week. The win when he was PM was in spite of him, rather than because of him.

He is absolutely hopeless and I legitimately don't think they've shown us him doing a single good thing.

Was it his week as PM when he lived exclusively in Lewis' arsehole?

Yep.

One of the best tasks so far last night, I could barely watch at times. Lottie scolding Dean and claiming "well I can take 3 plates actually" whilst the food was sitting there ready to be served was incredible. :D

Fantastic to see the little fat posh rat fuck off out of the show too, what an absolute bellend he was.

I haven't watched You're Fired yet but I'm gonna guess he didn't have a great sense of humour about himself.

I don't know if I should watch You're Fired.

On the one hand he's a massive tool and I don't really want to see more of him. On the other hand Tom Allen should royally take the piss out of him.

Yeah any good You're Fired host makes the dickheads look worse and will bring the nice ones in on the joke. And I've harped on about this enough but Allen is so much better now than he was at first

They do tend to choose well though. Jack Dee the only shit one since I've been watching.

I've really liked Allen.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pepe

https://i.imgur.com/migUE9O.jpg

Roller coaster guy is the right thing to search for. Some of his bantmates created a twitter or something for him.

---

I fucking come back lurking for the Mourinho bants and see this :D

It's your gift to us.

Lofty. :cool:

The tree still a thing?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lofty

I fucking come back lurking for the Mourinho bants and see this :D

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:D

Had a good lol at that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pepe

Lofty. :cool:

The tree still a thing?

---

I am married to a new tree now.

And TTH wasn't invited?

Wanker.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

And TTH wasn't invited?

Wanker.

---

To be fair it was in Greece so the majority of people weren't invited which went down like one of Magic's porn recommendations.

Music production. This should be good.

Little Mix? Fucking hell Dean.

I don’t want to call it a talent.... but it is a talent.

Is Lottie ever not seething?

Thomas wants to cave Marianne's skull in.

I've been in the music industry for 15 years now :D

Fuck off.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

I've been in the music industry for 15 years now :D

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Is that purely because she plays the fucking viola?

She's a pissing librarian.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ian

Is that purely because she plays the fucking viola?

She's a pissing librarian.

---

I'd have loved if one of them called her out on it.

"Sorry, how old are you?"

Just cut the whole song :D

Oh great, get in a pro musician cut all his lines and have someone shit lay lyrics on the track.

Lottie better win this. The others are fucking clueless.

Thomas and Marianne playing into my prediction here.

"No, they like me more..."

Lewis fucked that hard :D

Good God what the fuck was Lewis doing? :D

Claude in the club :D

He looked like he was going to top himself.

We can do £525
Fine, you've twisted my arm £500

The fuck?

I hope they lose by that £25 now.

It's annoying how much Lottie is pretending to like it.

Thomas should go but Alan clearly likes him and/or he has a good business plan so Marianne to go.

Karen throwing a mean right hook to Pamela there.

Fragrances next week, you say?

https://youtu.be/GrEa3zUO2V8

The "shit" and "anyway, I'll leave it with you" are televisual gold.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Yevrah

The "shit" and "anyway, I'll leave it with you" are televisual gold.

---

Nothing beats the trampoline episode. No idea what season, though.

Thomas spoiled my prediction, the big mental twat. He looked fucking heartbroken though.

Lewis and Dean are both absolutely diabolical.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 7om

Fragrances next week, you say?

https://youtu.be/GrEa3zUO2V8

---

One of my favourite all time Apprentice moments.

The entire QVC task was also incredible.

And the fucking octopus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mljhDpT54A

I had forgotten just how good it was.

You could get that octopus and stretch it even further.
Well I think the main question then is, how stretchy is an octopus.

Even thinking about it now I feel the need to remind myself that they bought A FUCKING OCTOPUS.

It makes me happy.

Even if she loses, Pamela should be safe as houses. Those two guys were both fucking pathetic.

Odd that they focus on one thicko packaging of indepedent parfam but 'breath in the scent' on the other gets away with it.

I forgot it was Wednesday until about 20 minutes ago so watching now.

Has Lewis THE MARKETING GURU gotten anything right? He always seems to be really wide of the mark.

Edit: Power is calling :D

I spent the last fifteen minutes of that episode drooling over Pamela in that orange dress.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 7om

I spent the last fifteen minutes of that episode drooling over Pamela in that orange dress.

---

She's by far the best looking in the season.

Stunned that it took this long for Dean to get punted.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 7om

I spent the last fifteen minutes of that episode drooling over Pamela in that orange dress.

---

Yep, she’s incredible.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebri...-mark-21026676

What a prick.

A complex man of £1k caviar and £1.99 Happy Meals.

Lottie made about 79 different facial expressions in that that all gave me the heave. The 'delight' at mention of the Queen's perfume, the barely concealed glee when the other team were getting told off. I hope somebody rips her inside out next week.

Dean finally getting the boot at least makes up for the fact I have to watch that preening little cunt Lottie again next week. I couldn't name one thing he'd done correctly in the 10 weeks so far.

There are people who've gone weeks ago who might have been a bit rubbish but were definitely not worse than him. He is useless.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by thommo

Dean finally getting the boot at least makes up for the fact I have to watch that preening little cunt Lottie again next week. I couldn't name one thing he'd done correctly in the 10 weeks so far.

---

It's amazing that he got so close to the interviews. Fluked it twice when he was PM and never seemed to be in the bottom 3.

He couldn't have looked more delighted when he got the chance to stick the boot into Lewis as well which is some going from a guy who couldn't string a sentence about the smell he was INTEGRAL to together.

Awkwardly pulling those crumpled sticks from his inside jacket pocket was so bad :D

He genuinely looked like he was going to stick his lip out and have a sulk over neither of them wanting to leave him on his own as well.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SvN

It's amazing that he got so close to the interviews. Fluked it twice when he was PM and never seemed to be in the bottom 3.

---

It was an utter miracle they won either of those tasks when he was PM. If they'd lost either, he was a goner. I can't understand what supposed business acumen he had to get on the damn show.

Well his agency apparently has actual professional crickets on it so it was probably just basically "give me loads of money and I can work on getting more high profile clients."

Although the website is fucking awful, with the player names popping up in a font colour that makes them barely readable.
http://www.fineedgecricket.co.uk/#our-players

You do feel like on Dragons Den they'd have asked him why the fuck he needs their money and to sod off.

:D

I think my favourite part of the website is how their "Goals and Values" have absolutely no relationship with the icons representing them.

https://i.imgur.com/gmErOQn.png

I mean it starts off sort-of working and then getting increasingly irrelevant as they go along.

"Diamonds are valuable that'll do. Global. Er, compass? You need a compass to know what direction you're heading in AROUND THE GLOBE. Great, fucking nailed that. Personal approach..... er.... well we've got this one that could be.... letters? Okay. And I want this anchor one in because I want a boat."

"Good job, boss! Now you get back to your crayons and we'll put this on the website for you."

Interviews tonight, lads. Last good episode of the series before what is now the utter pointlessness of the final.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ian

Interviews tonight, lads. Last good episode of the series before what is now the utter pointlessness of the final.

---

Good man. Haven’t watched much of this series but this is always a must.

Hoping Lottie gets an absolute shoeing.

Lottie has been banned from appearing on the spin-off show, either You're Fired or You're Hired. I guess that kind of confirms she wont win, otherwise what are they going to be talking about for 30 minutes after the final?

With the current batch of fucking idiots, there appears to be a lot more 'drama' being thrown around on social media.

So looking at it the BBC apparently received formal complaints from other candidates and threatened to take her fee for appearing on the show off her. She seems to be claiming she's decided not to appear on those to "take a stance", which sounds like a lie she's spinning to make herself feel better.

However my favourite part of the interview is her saying in one breath she's been on anti-depressants and anxiety meds, etc. in the past and then she's saying that if anybody's suffering because of things she's said they need to "toughen up."

Get her in the fucking sea.

I feel like Claude has been holding back waiting for the interviews to give her a proper kicking.

What's she done to be banned?

Just be a horrible know-it-all the entire show. Nothing's ever her fault, she's brilliant at everything (she claimed to be an expert in wine because she helped her mate choose the wine for her wedding) and she's got 30 years of experience in business despite being 19.

She's also a perfume expert because she helped her friends choose theirs. And she got into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame because she played the oboe once or whatever the fuck else.

She's a nightmare.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Giggles

What's she done to be banned?

---

Accused variously of racism and transphobia, including 'formal complaints' from other candidates. Probably throw bullying into the mix. As I said, she's claiming she has chosen not to go on them. But then she would, wouldn't she.

Is the mean Scottish fella doing the interviews again? Big fan of him.

From the clips last week it'll be:
- Mike Soutar, the mean Scottish fella
- Claudine somebody, the woman I'm not sure if she counts as shameful lustage or not.
- Claude, obvs. (Might watch him dismantle Solomon ahead of tonight's episode.)
- The other woman whose name I also don't know but who tends to annoy me almost as much as the candidates.

Who was it who called the Sandhurst twat a parasite? Was that Mean Mike Soutar?

Claudine and Pamela in the same room to be the highlight of the series.

I'm with you Ian, can't stand the 4th interviewer. Who did she replace from past series?

Did she replace Margaret or was there someone in between? Or did Karen do it before?

Edit- Margaret came back for a few years and then was replaced by Ricky Martin for one year before Linda took over.

Apparently she (Linda) replaced Margaret, and it's been 10 years since Karren did the interviews. :moop: Can't believe it's been that long.

Ricky Martin did it for 1 year between Margaret and Linda. That's been wiped from my memory.

I'm glad I'm not the one one who thinks Linda is horrendous. Not entertaining, she's just contradictory, rude for the sake of being rude, and downright boring.

Yeah they're clearly all told to be cunts* but Linda, if that's her name, often doubles down on it by seeming to just be outright wrong as well.

* Mean Mike is usually good value for jumping up and down on somebody then when speaking to Sugar after going "Yeah actually I thought she did quite well and has a reasonable plan."

Claude is going to fist Lottie and it's going to great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_9IlYOgSLQ

Solomon's suspicious reaction when Claude says his application filled him with pleasure. He knows that's not the end of it. THEN he allows himself to start believing it's going well, and then the sucker punch comes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nv511qmtZfE

Fucking hell I'd forgotten how bad this was. :D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ian

Yeah they're clearly all told to be cunts* but Linda, if that's her name, often doubles down on it by seeming to just be outright wrong as well.

* Mean Mike is usually good value for jumping up and down on somebody then when speaking to Sugar after going "Yeah actually I thought she did quite well and has a reasonable plan."

---

If Mike is the Scottish one, he always seems to have some sort of evidence of the candidate lying on their CV. Didn't he phone a university and find out someone had never studied there?

Sounds plausible. He definitely chased up on some sort of certification or accreditation that somebody had put on their website and hadn't got.

I also have memories of him checking companies house because they said they were the owner of a company, when it turned out they were a minority shareholder.

He does tend to be the one who does his homework and hits them with uncomfortable facts.

Linda whatserface just feels like she's going WELL I FUCKING HATE IT AND I HATE YOU WHAT D'YOU THINK ABOUT THAT, EH?

She's shite when she appears on You're Fired as well.

The first video I found of Mike is him telling a lady she doesn’t own a website that she claimed to own because he’s bought it and telling her to make him an offer. :D

Oh Christ I'd forgotten that. I need to find that.

EDIT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbeKCzBt-Ao

Hahahaha. God I love the interviews.

It's INTERVIEWS TIME MUHFUCKAS.

Power is calling...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ian

It's INTERVIEWS TIME MUHFUCKAS.

---

:joy:

She spelt pheasant wrong, the fucking peasant.

21 stories isn't a skyscraper, is it?

Alan chatting bollocks.

Did she walk out? Amazing.

Claudine. :wub:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Browning

Did she walk out? Amazing.

---

I thought so but I think it was just the edit.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ian

I thought so but I think it was just the edit.

---

Yeah, it's a shame though. Would have been amazing had she walked.

So Lewis is doing Club 21-35?

Mike. :D

I hate Linda as much as I remember.

What’s this, the fucking X-Factor?

Lewis getting rejected there was great.

This is a joke.

Ridiculously rude questions and then going soft on the one with a sob story.

Mike :drool:

Claude :D

Pamela was very clearly at it there.

Mike and Lottie was great too.

Mike going to the store. :D

He’s amazing.

I feel sad about Mike getting ignored in the shop.

All he wanted was to be asked how his coffee was :(

"I've never seen a globe before" :D

Alright Pamela can fuck off. I thought she might be set for the final but she can get in the sea.

And Lewis and his globe business, Jesus Christ.

One of my favourites of the interview episodes was where Mike Soutar got someone to go from 'I'll have to check to see who wrote that lie' to 'I wrote that lie' in about 15 seconds.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by wullie

One of my favourites of the interview episodes was where Mike Soutar got someone to go from 'I'll have to check to see who wrote that lie' to 'I wrote that lie' in about 15 seconds.

---

I vaguely remember that.

Wasn't that Bagwell?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh0ZOPWewrc

It was Daniel.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

Wasn't that Bagwell?

---

I hope you're not getting the name of Baggs the Brand wrong.

Pamela and Scarlett I feel.

Carina's always felt like a favourite but a bakery is a bit underwhelming for the skyscrapers and suits pretence of this.

Thomas fucking loved the bread. Of course he did.

Tom Allen is fucking brutal at reading an autocue.

Decent round of interviews. Claude was particularly stern, but Mike again steals the show by going to the bakery, ordering something from Pamela, checking on Scarlett's qualifications and of course, the globe with Lewis.

How on earth did Lottie get through any vetting when she had no fucking costing on her business plan? I also hate how the waterworks do seem to come out, along with some sort of sob story. I just don't care, that's not important to the matter at hand.

Considering Solomon had pictures of sailboats on 1 page of his 2 page plan the vetting doesn't care.

Lottie would get it. :nodd:

I would have definitely come unstuck with the globe too. The baker who doesn't bake will struggle but Scarlett has to be favourite, no?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Smjffy

Lottie would get it. :nodd:

I would have definitely come unstuck with the globe too. The baker who doesn't bake will struggle but Scarlett has to be favourite, no?

---

Are you attempting to start up a tour operating company though?

It was great from Mike because it was a simple request which showed that Lewis hadn't done any research into the country where he was meant to be sending 200 people on holiday.

The final (which will be shit, as is now tradition) is tonight lads.

Pretty sure it's been Sundays the last few years so thought I'd better warn y'all.

Almost forgot about it, thanks for the heads up.

Double barrel and the racist are back.

Dean not going last says a lot about those two.

I didn't need to see his sex face.

Scarlett Lily Mary Allen-Horton

Fucking hell

Carina's advert is horseshit.

Although it's still 100 times better than Dean and his arm moving.

What the fuck is this?

So Carina's product is only good enough for prison food. Nice one.

It's worth murdering for.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 7om

So Carina's product is only good enough for prison food. Nice one.

---

I was just thinking that. "Food so good you could serve it in prison."

Also if I never have to see Hyphen's o-face again that'd be great.

I'd do terrible things to see Jemelin's tits. She's out of this world.

I thought the whole chairs thing was practice before going into an actual car.

That's not the actual thing is it? They're at least going to add CGI?

Fuck me, what a piece of shit that is.

Nope, it's actually plastic chairs in a dimly lit garage. Fuck sake.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

I thought the whole chairs thing was practice before going into an actual car.

---

I thought it was practice for that or before they did something on a greenscreen or something.

Fucking hell.

Hannah Squirrell. What a name.

I'm sitting here laughing out loud. This show is a fucking circus.

This is awkward.

Carina's pitch and answers were baaaad.

Scarlett is really composed.

That TV advert might be one of the worst things I've seen.

No you mong, he'd have known Panini was a football sticker album.

Scarlett winning this, then? The adverts were dogshit but they're irrelevant to the decision.

He really liked Carina's shitty advert.

Has to be Scarlett though. Recruitment is always big, her business is already better than Carina's, she has a really good USP and she smashed her presentation.

The story they pitched for Carina’s ad was great. He could have escaped but he stayed to eat the bread, hence the “worth the time” tag. Then they turned it into they were giving it to him because it was his release day? What?

What the fuck?

Well, shows what I fucking know.

It’s 10:03 and I’ve already seen about 2 minutes 30 too much of you’re hired.

You're Hired is always shite. I don't even bother.

Too much fawning over Sugar for a start.

Yep.

I usually stop watching You're Fired about 3 weeks before the end too, not sure why though.

I thought the warning signs were there when he warned Scarlett about his other two recruitment businesses. I'm all for diversity, equality and what not but I am also of belief that woman should be judged solely on their merits and not their gender. I also find the fact she appears so emotional to be a bit of a slant again her.

Carina’s isn't a long term one either given how reliant on the family it appeared to be and the fact that it can be the best tasting bakery in the world but it'll never be Greggs, seems more reasonable to see it in a small town or village. :cool:

Overall I don't think any of the candidates were that good in this series.

I didn’t have chance to watch the show last year and found the series on Dailymotion. Watched the first episode in Malta and this lot might be the biggest bunch of twats the show has ever seen. That northern lass with the massive lips... fucking Christ.

The octopus is still one of my favourite things so far.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/technology-52813961

Didn't he have loads of claims on his website that were found to be false in his interview?

Yeah he was absolutely full of it.

He was pulled apart in seconds in the interviews and admitted in one episode that he didn't have a clue what he was doing, can't help but admire a neck that brass to keep doing it.

I'm sure it was the art one where he admitted he hadn't a clue what he was talking about but the customers were lapping up his bullshit. And then yeah, I seem to recall it was the Scots fella who dismantled his business plan in pretty short order about his hangover "cure."

View Tweet

I can't.

This is why Sralan Lord-Sugar gets to do the firing.

:lol:

Fucking hell.

It's so strange that even experts can't explain it!

Just ask this scientician

https://i.imgur.com/kzRXu7g.gif

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-57761478

Claude missing the next series. Tim Campbell replacing him. I wasn't watching Apprentice yet back then so I have no thoughts on him.

Quote:

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The businessman had the accident in April while riding an electric bike that injured his right leg so badly doctors considered amputating it.

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