A question of tact

Because, this place is famous for it. Obviously.

My Mrs is pregnant and our first scan is next week. If all is ok we will announce it that evening. But, we have a bit of a problem:

My mate and his wife have been trying for a baby for about 5 years now. He had Chemo as a kid, lost a bollock, and the other isn’t firing on all cylinders. So last year they started IVF treatment, only for it to have to be put on hold because his mrs has a cyst on her womb that needs to be removed first. This latest bit of shit luck only happened a few weeks back, as well.

So - how the fuck do we tell them? Whenever I talk to my mate about the IVF he acts like it’s no biggie and moves the conversation on, so I don’t know whether to follow his lead and just announce it, or acknowledge that it’s probably going to wound them a bit and let them know ahead of time? If the latter, how the fuck do you do that without sounding like you’re either rubbing their faces in it or apologising for it?

People of TTH. What would you do?

Just announce it, fuck'em.

I think they'll work it out eventually so you might as well just tell them.

Announce it generally on Facebook as people do, but also make a big deal about how you weren't even trying and 'lol we only shared a towel'.

Alternatively, cut a heel promo on them both rubbing it right in.

Thanks guys. Sorry I ever doubted you.

Does he expect you to forgo fatherhood on the grounds that he is incapable of making babies?

Offer to knock his wife up too.

If you get an opportunity to fore warn him without going out of your way then I'd say do it.

If not, just do what you need to and let them deal with it.

Congratulations on hopefully bringing Spikey N into the world.

I'd like to think a friend wouldn't be so much of a soft shit to somehow be upset by it.

Then again, the sister in law of a friend was bitter about him getting engaged before her to the point of not even sending them a congratulatory message so you never know.

Just tell him and if they've a problem tell them both to catch themselves the fuck on.

Tell him you stupid twonk.

Unless you intend to tell the world that your wife is just eating a lot of cake these days, just tell them.

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Originally Posted by Giggles

Just tell him and if they've a problem tell them both to catch themselves the fuck on.

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Tell them what? :confused:

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Originally Posted by Bam

Tell them what? :confused:

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Dunno what you'd say for that. Cop on?

Give him the scan picture and say “Easy mate”.

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Originally Posted by Mike

Give him the scan picture and say “Easy mate”.

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https://i.imgflip.com/28dvom.jpg

Offer him your first-born, like a real friend.

Is it a boy or a girl?

Play it modest and tell him it's not even yours.

There was a story a few years ago in wolves of your exact scenario and the family who couldnt have a child, allegedly waited outside of the friends childs school and tried to snath her up.

You should kill your friend and his wife before it escaltes to similar levels.

Break the news to them and then immediately show the footage of that Scottish bloke collapsing in the Commonwealth marathon. Should cheer them right up.

Don't mention it ever. See if the kid can get to double figures before they find out.

Congrats, by the way, Spikes.

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Originally Posted by Magic

Don't mention it ever. See if the kid can get to double figures before they find out.

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I like this idea.

"Oh it's my nephew"
"Why is your wife breast feeding him?"
"Are you looking at my wife's tits?"
Friendship over ... Situation RESOLVED.

You can say all those posts on Facebook and pictures are a figment of his imagination. When he visits and the kid is running about pretend they don't exist and he's seeing things. Then he'll think he's going mad because of his predicament and hopefully take his own life.

All viable options, unfortunately I took the cowards way out and told him last night.

Did he go for you or break down in the foetal position?

So why ask TTH at all?

You've made a bit of a mug of everybody here, Spikey. People have feelings you know.

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Originally Posted by Spikey M

All viable options, unfortunately I took the cowards way out and told him last night.

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Ruining any momentum this clusterfuck of a thread had.

There wasn’t even any drama when I told him so I’ve let you all down in more ways than one.

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Originally Posted by Spikey M

There wasn’t even any drama when I told him so I’ve let you all down in more ways than one.

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I would have assumed this to be the case.

Most people are pretty good at compartmentalising their own pain and their happiness for others.

Have you checked he's murder/suicide free yet?

Your friend sounds like a pussyhole

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Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel

Your friend sounds like a pussyhole

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For having childhood cancer?

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Originally Posted by Spikey M

For having childhood cancer?

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Obviously not. More for you being so wary, having to tread on eggshells and almost feel guilty about your good news around him, in case he might cry.

That makes me the pussy if anything. Or capable of empathy. However you want to look at it.

This thread is still probably better than A Question of Sport.

I'm not sure. Sue Barker is still amazing.

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Originally Posted by Kikó

I'm not sure. Sue Barker is still amazing.

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*bumps the shameful lustage thread*

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Originally Posted by ItalAussie

I would have assumed this to be the case.

Most people are pretty good at compartmentalising their own pain and their happiness for others.

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In contrast to Spikey, a mate of mine and his wife have basically disappeared off the face of the earth to us - we've seen her once in the last 2 1/2 years (at a wedding) because she lost her baby early on, other friends of ours were pregnant at the same time and then my wife fell pregnant 4 weeks later.

In way it's good, you find out who's not worth bothering with.