2019/2020 Pre-season Predictions

PREMIER LEAGUE
Winner:
Rest of top 4:
Relegated:
Top scorer:
Best player:
Best manager:
First manager sacked:
Best signing:
Worst signing:
Outlandish prediction:
Any other thoughts?

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Winner:
Runner up:
Other semi-finalists:
Top scorer:
Outlandish prediction:

CHAMPIONSHIP
Winner:
Runner up:
Playoff winners:
Outlandish prediction:

OTHER WINNERS
FA Cup:
League Cup:
Europa League:
La Liga:
Serie A:
Bundesliga:
Ligue 1:

YOUR TEAM
League Position:
Best player:
Worst player:
Unsung hero:
Best signing:
Worst signing:
Will your manager last the season?:
Outlandish prediction:
Any other thoughts?

PREMIER LEAGUE
Winner: Man City
Rest of top 4: Liverpool, Spurs, and I think in the spirit of optimism I'll say Chelsea
Relegated: Newcastle, Norwich, Brighton
Top scorer: Kane
Best player: De Bruyne
Best manager: Other than the obvious, Rodgers
First manager sacked: Most of them are quite well bedded in, but I fear Marco Silva could be walking the lego plank soon enough
Best signing: Tielemans to Leicester
Worst signing: Cutrone to Wolves, or one that has yet to occur
Outlandish prediction: It will be universally acknowledged as the most boring season in Premier League history, with loads of wanky thinkpieces about same.
Any other thoughts? With additional Norwich, midlands and Yorkshire, there is a pleasing geographical spread, but I'd still like to see Bristol City up (we can lose Watford).

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Winner: Liverpool again, this time at an absolute canter
Runner up: Juventus
Other semi-finalists: Barcelona, Lyon
Top scorer: Ronaldo
Outlandish prediction: Atalanta in the quarter-finals

CHAMPIONSHIP
Winner: West Brom
Runner up: Leeds
Playoff winners: Derby
Outlandish prediction: Huddersfield down again

OTHER WINNERS
FA Cup: Arsenal
League Cup: Man City
Europa League: Tottenham on the rebound
La Liga: Atletico
Serie A: Boreventus
Bundesliga: Bore'em Munich
Ligue 1: Boreis-St-Germain

YOUR TEAM
League Position: 4th or 5th
Best player: Kanté
Worst player: All strikers
Unsung hero: Kepa
Best signing: Pulisic
Worst signing: Pulisic
Will your manager last the season?: Yes
Outlandish prediction: Highest league scorer will be in single figures
Any other thoughts? We have a nice team tee to green but really need someone who can bag/notch/net on a regular basis, and if that person is Tammy Abraham then fair play but I will be immensely surprised.

PREMIER LEAGUE
Winner: City
Rest of top 4: Liverpool
Relegated: Norwich, Villa, Watford
Top scorer: Aubameyang
Best player: Sterling
Best manager: Guardilola
First manager sacked: Dunno. Marco Silva is probably the most sackable but I have a feeling Everton will be alright. Dean Smith?
Best signing: Haller and Joelinton both seem really smart buys.
Worst signing: Dybala to United if it happens
Outlandish prediction: Someone new
Any other thoughts? I don't think there's anyone as obviously shit as in previous seasons. The bottom half feels like it could end up in any order.

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Winner: City
Runner up: Liverpool
Other semi-finalists: Juventus, PSG
Top scorer: Whoever gets to play the wank Eastern European side in the group stage
Outlandish prediction: The Spanish sides will be shit. Not sure that's outlandish any more though.

CHAMPIONSHIP
Winner: Leeds
Runner up: Brentford
Playoff winners: Stoke
Outlandish prediction: I don't have any real opinions on the Championship, the above are just guesses after looking at some numbers for 30 seconds.

OTHER WINNERS
FA Cup: City
League Cup: Chelsea u23s
Europa League: Borussia Dortmund
La Liga: Barcelona
Serie A: Juventus
Bundesliga: Bayern Munich
Ligue 1: PSG

YOUR TEAM
League Position: 12th
Best player: Solomon March
Worst player: Bong
Unsung hero: Tony Bloom
Best signing: There's only one, Trossard, and I think he might be the bollocks.
Worst signing:
Will your manager last the season?: Yes
Outlandish prediction: Brighton will be really good.
Any other thoughts? I think it's hard not to be optimistic about the season ahead. Potter's even got Locadia looking like an absolute don in pre-season.

PREMIER LEAGUE
Winner: Man City
Rest of top 4: Liverpool 2nd, then probably some combo of Chelsea and Spurs again.
Relegated: I dunno. I reckon Villa could do okay. Sheffield United, Norwich and Brighton, as a punt.
Top scorer: Probably one of the Liverpool ones. I'll say Salah.
Best player: I can't see van Dijk getting it again purely because people don't really like defenders winning these things too often. Maybe Salah for this as well.
Best manager: Guardiola will get the award, assuming my prediction of them winning the league is correct.
First manager sacked:Watford will probably decide they're due a new one.
Best signing: I reckon Tielemans could be up there given what other clubs have spent on attackers.
Worst signing: Whoever United panic-buy at the last minute because Woodward's been fucking about.
Outlandish prediction: A fourth manager Premier League manager to develop a style of play.
Any other thoughts? I may end up watching less Premier League football than ever this year. Even though I knew bugger all about the teams / players involved I still enjoyed the Womens World Cup (or the knockouts, at least) more than almost any other football from the last club season.

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Winner: Real Madrid
Runner up: Juventus
Other semi-finalists: Man City, Liverpool
Top scorer: Ronaldo
Outlandish prediction: BT's coverage to find new ways to be even more shit.


OTHER WINNERS
FA Cup: Chelsea
League Cup: Arsenal are probably due one.
Europa League: Emery used to love a Europa League didn't he? I'll say Arsenal continue the recent English success in the Wafer.
La Liga: Barcelona
Serie A: More like YAWNventus, amirite?
Bundesliga: Bayern, presumably.
Ligue 1: PSG, presumably.

YOUR TEAM
League Position: 5th?
Best player: Dave Gayer.
Worst player: Ashley Young
Unsung hero: Lindelof
Best signing: Wan-Bissaka if he isn't kept out of the team by young for his Knows The Club attribute.
Worst signing: I may revise this if we go OH SHIT and spunk a load of money at the last minute but I don't think any of the current ones will have a BAD season.
Will your manager last the season?: I think we'll largely look more consistent than we did under him after he started last year but I'm not convinced we have the squad to be super-confident of the top four, however if it looks like we're going to miss out on monies again they'll decide to either get rid of him or roll the dice on somebody in January I guess.
Outlandish prediction: I hope to enjoy more than 30% of the United games I watch this year.
Any other thoughts? I really wanted us to get off the mark quickly and try and have a decisive transfer window but we have, as per, farted about.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dino

PREMIER LEAGUE

Outlandish prediction: Someone new

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I forgot to come back to this after I decided against regurgitating the top 6 thing that is hardly outlandish if you have a twitter account. Let's go with there being another goal involving a beach ball at some point.

I always predict Spurs to miss out on the top 4 and they always make it, so youd think i would have learned by now, but this season I’m more confident than ever that we’re going to shit the bed

City will win the league, Liverpool second, and United in third ahead of Tottenham. Ronaldo will win the Champions' League, the teams who normally win the foreign leagues will do so again, and we will revert to being crap at Euro 2020.

Man City will probably take it all. Newcastle are royally fucked so they will be bottom by Christmas hopefully. The EFL will be a battle royale as per usual which means Salford will somehow sneak in and get promotion (just imagine) to League 1. Leeds will be Leeds and somehow Luton are back in the Championship which is mad. I'm praying to the fucking heavens that Torquay get back into the EFL and stay there.

Man Utd will probably win Europa which will be the only means of getting back into Champions League contention. Everyone keep an eye on Wolves for top four. As for the domestic European leagues who cares. Barca, PSG and Juve it is then. Champions League will probably be Barcas or something similar.

PREMIER LEAGUE
1. Man City
2. Liverpool
3. Tottenham
4. Man United
5. Arsenal
6. Leicester
7. Chelsea
Relegated: Norwich, Newcastle, Palace
Top scorer: Sterling
Best player: De Bruyne
Best manager: Rodgers
First manager sacked: Bruce
Best signing: Tielemens
Worst signing: Haller
Outlandish prediction: The clubs between the top seven and the relegation spots to form their own Supermiddling League in a search for a greater sense of purpose.

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Winner: Liverpool
Runner up: Man City
Other semi-finalists: Juventus, Dortmund
Top scorer: Salah

OTHER WINNERS
FA Cup: Man City
League Cup: Chelsea
Europa League: Arsenal
La Liga: Atletico Madrid
Serie A: Juventus
Bundesliga: Dortmund
Ligue 1: PSG

YOUR TEAM
League Position: 13th
Best player: Ryan
Worst player: Izquierdo - not because he's bad but because he won't start the season and he might never get going properly.
Unsung hero: Propper
Best signing: Webster
Worst signing: All t'riffic
Will your manager last the season?: Yes
Outlandish prediction: Nobody to score more than twelve goals.
Any other thoughts? This was fun, thanks.

PREMIER LEAGUE
Winner: Manchester City
Rest of top 4: Liverpool, Spurs, Arsenal.
Relegated: Newcastle, Crystal Palace, Burnley
Top scorer: Aubameyang
Best player: Bernardo Silva
Best manager: Daniel Farke
First manager sacked: Steve Bruce
Best signing: Ndombele
Worst signing: Wesley Moraes
Outlandish prediction: All three promoted clubs to stay up
Any other thoughts? Man City will more or less wrap it up by Christmas this time.

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Winner: Manchester City
Runner up: Liverpool
Other semi-finalists: PSG and Barcelona
Top scorer: Mbappe
Outlandish prediction: Juventus and Real Madrid won’t get out their group.

CHAMPIONSHIP
Winner: Leeds
Runner up: West Brom
Playoff winners: Brentford
Outlandish prediction:

OTHER WINNERS
FA Cup: Chelsea
League Cup: Arsenal
Europa League: RB Leipzig
La Liga: Atlético Madrid
Serie A: Juventus
Bundesliga: Dortmund
Ligue 1: PSG

YOUR TEAM
League Position: 7th
Best player: Youri Tielemans
Worst player: Gray if he plays. Schmeichel maybe? No one I really don’t rate or dislike in the first eleven.
Unsung hero: Johnny Evans
Best signing: Tielemans on a permanent deal
Worst signing: none really, maybe some of the young players we seem to sign every year who go and play hoofball for the u23s and never go on loan or improve.
Will your manager last the season?: Yes
Outlandish prediction: the majority of support will finally get used to attempting to pass the ball around a bit and not start kicking off when the ball hasn’t been launched forwards at the earliest possible opportunity.
Any other thoughts?I am so looking forward to this season. Great young squad with a good manager playing lovely football. There is potential to crack the top six or win a trophy but even if we don’t it’ll be a fun ride.

PREMIER LEAGUE
Winner: Man City
Rest of top 4: Liverpool, Tottenham & Arsenal
Relegated: Crystal Palace, Aston Villa & Brighton
Top scorer: Aguero
Best player: Oxlade-Chamberlain
Best manager: Chris Wilder
First manager sacked: Pellegrini
Best signing: Callum Robinson
Worst signing: Albian Ajeti
Outlandish prediction: Sheff Utd top half finish.
Any other thoughts? VAR will ruin football. Too many pens, too many pens.

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Winner: Liverpool
Runner up: Juventus
Other semi-finalists: Man City & Barcelona
Top scorer: Ronaldo
Outlandish prediction: Spurs out in the group stage.

CHAMPIONSHIP
Winner: Fulham
Runner up: Leeds
Playoff winners: Barnsley
Outlandish prediction: Not got a clue.

OTHER WINNERS
FA Cup: Man City
League Cup: Everton
Europa League: Tottenham
La Liga: Barcelona
Serie A: Juventus
Bundesliga: Dortmund
Ligue 1: PSG

YOUR TEAM
League Position: 2nd
Best player: Alisson
Worst player: Salah
Unsung hero: Fabinho
Best signing: Sepp van den Berg? :sorry:
Worst signing: Adrian? :sorry:
Will your manager last the season?: 100%
Outlandish prediction: Unbeaten season
Any other thoughts? The white kit is class.

Joelinton will be the worst signing, definitely. The man came for 44 million, which I was unaware of, off of a 7-goal season for Hoffenheim. The year before that he scored 7 in 27 in Austria. Great work all round, Newcastle

Meant to do this earlier. 14th and down could be in any order.

1. City
2. Liverpool
3. Spurs
4. United
5. Arsenal
6. Chelsea
7. Everton
8. Leicester
9. Wolves
10. West Ham
11. Southampton
12. Brighton
13. Bournemouth
14. Palace
15. Norwich
16. Watford
17. Sheffield United
18. Newcastle
19. Burnley
20. Villa

Never known as unanimous a set of views on 1-2-3 as we have this year. Will be interesting if anyone else threatens even into say November/December for those spots.

1. Liverpool
2. Man City
3. Arsenal
4. Chelsea
5-20.......

It's reassuring that we haven't fell for this weird Leicester/Wolves for fifth and sixth NARRATIVE that has come out of nowhere. The non-challenging rest of the 'Big Six' were competing to be the most shit last season and they were all still comfortably ahead, so why would it suddenly change this year?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lewis

It's reassuring that we haven't fell for this weird Leicester/Wolves for fifth and sixth NARRATIVE that has come out of nowhere. The non-challenging rest of the 'Big Six' were competing to be the most shit last season and they were all still comfortably ahead, so why would it suddenly change this year?

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Journalists and talking heads trying to look smart because nobody will remember in May that they were wrong. You can't blow yourself when you're saying Man Utd/Spurs/Chelsea will finish 5th or 6th. Wolves or Leicester won't be within a hounds gowl of 5th.

I've toyed with it, with two of them managed by probable binmen. The squads are that much better than the rest that it probably doesn't matter.

Wolves were better than United for most of last season, tbh, but I doubt they will be this time.

PREMIER LEAGUE
Winner: Man City
Rest of top 4: Liverpool, Man Utd, Spurs
Relegated: Newcastle, Sheff Utd, Brighton
Top scorer: Harry Kane
Best player: Raheem Sterling
Best manager: The Bald Fraud
First manager sacked: Steve Bruce
Best signing: Maguire
Worst signing: David Luiz
Outlandish prediction: Chelsea to finish below Wolves
Any other thoughts? I'll know if United will finish 3rd or 7th within a fortnight.

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Winner: Juventus
Runner up: Barca
Other semi-finalists: Man City and Real Madrid
Top scorer: Ronaldo
Outlandish prediction: Liverpool knocked out in the first knockout stage

CHAMPIONSHIP
Winner: Leeds
Runner up: WBA
Playoff winners: Fulham
Outlandish prediction: Stoke to go down

OTHER WINNERS
FA Cup: Man Utd
League Cup: Spurs
Europa League: Man Utd
La Liga: Barca
Serie A: Juventus
Bundesliga: Bayern
Ligue 1: PSG


YOUR TEAM
League Position: 3rd
Best player: Pogba
Worst player: Matic (he needs putting out to pasture)
Unsung hero: McTominay
Best signing: Maguire
Worst signing: Umm, I'm happy with all 3. Let's say James?
Will your manager last the season?: Yes
Outlandish prediction: Martial will score 20+
Any other thoughts? Jesus Christ please don't be shit.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

Never known as unanimous a set of views on 1-2-3 as we have this year. Will be interesting if anyone else threatens even into say November/December for those spots.

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It's not usually until February where any unexpected sides really fall away (see Spurs last year after being deemed well in the title race and then losing about 10 in a row) so unless City go berserk there will be more than 2 or 3 sides interested at Christmas.

Spurs are the new Arsenal. They were in the title race in the same way Arsenal has been in the title over the years.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel

Spurs are the new Arsenal. They were in the title race in the same way Arsenal has been in the title over the years.

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By winning some of them?

PREMIER LEAGUE
Winner: Man City
Rest of top 4:Liverpool, Tottenham, Arsenal
Relegated:Villa, Norwich, Sheff Wed
Top scorer: Martial
Best player: Raul
Best manager: Nuno
First manager sacked:
Best signing: Rodri
Worst signing: David Luiz
Outlandish prediction: Wolves to finish above Chelski of Man Utd
Any other thoughts?

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Winner: Man City
Runner up: Dortmund
Other semi-finalists: Barcelona, A.Madrid
Top scorer: Sterling
Outlandish prediction:

OTHER WINNERS
FA Cup: Wolves
League Cup: Wolves
Europa League: Wolves
La Liga: Barca
Serie A: Juve
Bundesliga: Dortmund
Ligue 1: PSG

YOUR TEAM
League Position: 5th
Best player: Raul
Worst player: Adama especially if he is deployed at RWB
Unsung hero: Vinagre
Best signing: Cutrone
Worst signing: n/a
Will your manager last the season?: Yes
Outlandish prediction: All Facts
Any other thoughts?[/QUOTE]

1. Man City
2. Liverpool
3. Arsenal
4. Tottenham
5. Man Utd
6. Chelsea
7. Wolves
8. Everton
9. Leicester
10. West Ham
11. Newcastle
12. Brighton
13. Burnley
14. Aston Villa
15. Southampton
16. Watford
17. Bournemouth
18. Crystal Palace
19. Norwich
20. Sheff Utd

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel

PREMIER LEAGUE
Winner: Man City
Rest of top 4:Liverpool, Tottenham, Arsenal
Relegated:Villa, Norwich, Sheff Wed
Top scorer: Martial
Best player: Raul
Best manager: Nuno
First manager sacked:
Best signing: Rodri
Worst signing: David Luiz
Outlandish prediction: Wolves to finish above Chelski of Man Utd
Any other thoughts?

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Winner: Man City
Runner up: Dortmund
Other semi-finalists: Barcelona, A.Madrid
Top scorer: Sterling
Outlandish prediction:

OTHER WINNERS
FA Cup: Wolves
League Cup: Wolves
Europa League: Wolves
La Liga: Barca
Serie A: Juve
Bundesliga: Dortmund
Ligue 1: PSG

YOUR TEAM
League Position: 5th
Best player: Raul
Worst player: Adama especially if he is deployed at RWB
Unsung hero: Vinagre
Best signing: Cutrone
Worst signing: n/a
Will your manager last the season?: Yes
Outlandish prediction: All Facts
Any other thoughts?

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I wasn't far off Martial being too scorer and David Luiz being the worst signing. Rodri being the best signing though :lol:

Nice to see Newcastle defied expectations. :moop:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SvN

CHAMPIONSHIP
Winner: Leeds
Runner up: WBA
Playoff winners: Fulham

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:cool:

I got Lyon in the semi-finals and Atalanta in the quarter-finals. Does this mean I can change my twitter bio to 'European Football Expert'?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mugbull

I always predict Spurs to miss out on the top 4 and they always make it, so youd think i would have learned by now, but this season I’m more confident than ever that we’re going to shit the bed

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by mugbull

Joelinton will be the worst signing, definitely. The man came for 44 million, which I was unaware of, off of a 7-goal season for Hoffenheim. The year before that he scored 7 in 27 in Austria. Great work all round, Newcastle

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:cool:

Although he did score against us

Spearheaded our cup campaign as well. 4 goals 4 assists. From 56 shots at goal. :uhoh:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by -james-

PREMIER LEAGUE Haller and Joelinton both seem really smart buys.

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:eyemouth:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lewis

City will win the league, Liverpool second, and United in third ahead of Tottenham. Ronaldo will win the Champions' League, the teams who normally win the foreign leagues will do so again, and we will revert to being crap at Euro 2020.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lewis

It's reassuring that we haven't fell for this weird Leicester/Wolves for fifth and sixth NARRATIVE that has come out of nowhere. The non-challenging rest of the 'Big Six' were competing to be the most shit last season and they were all still comfortably ahead, so why would it suddenly change this year?

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Reasonably solid.

Ffs. Half way down reading this thread I realise these are least season's prediction.

Nobody went with Liverpool as winners then. Not even the Liverpool fans.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Baz

PREMIER LEAGUE
Any other thoughts? VAR will ruin football. Too many pens, too many pens.

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:charm:

PREMIER LEAGUE
Winner: Man City
Rest of top 4: Liverpool, United, Arsenal
Relegated: Fulham, Villa, Burnley
Top scorer: Aubameyang
Best player: Aubameyang
Best manager: Arteta
First manager sacked: Lampard
Best signing: Gabriel Marghaeles
Worst signing: Tiago Silva
Outlandish prediction: Spurs finish mid table
Any other thoughts?

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Winner: Bayern
Runner up: Juventus
Other semi-finalists: Lyon, Man City
Top scorer: Lewandowski
Outlandish prediction: PSG to fall at the group stage

CHAMPIONSHIP
Winner: Brentford
Runner up: Derby
Playoff winners: Norwich
Outlandish prediction:

OTHER WINNERS
FA Cup: Arsenal
League Cup: Man City
Europa League: Arsenal
La Liga: Real Madrid
Serie A: Juventus
Bundesliga: Bayern
Ligue 1: PSG

YOUR TEAM Arsenal
League Position: 4th
Best player: Aubameyang
Worst player: Mustafi
Unsung hero: Elneny
Best signing: Gabriel
Worst signing: Cedric
Will your manager last the season?: Yes
Outlandish prediction: Pepe to score 15 goals
Any other thoughts?

A year late and he's still wrong with most of those.

Reckon it's Liverpool again lads.

I'll throw in Leeds as a contender for bantz.

We're not going down you big fat twat.

Lofty v Mellin is a fight I didn't realise I needed until now.

Lampard isn't getting sacked unless we completely bomb into the bottom half of the table or something. Having him as coach is a nice easy win for the club, no chance of fans kicking off while he's there and there's no one obviously better around.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mellberg

We're not going down you big fat twat.

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If Grealish goes who is pulling you out of the shit you daft Brummie twat?

Even if he doesn't I think a lot of teams are spending more than normal to improve on last season. Will be a final day thing regardless.

This is the year we go down, probably.

Get a new thread going.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

Lampard isn't getting sacked unless we completely bomb into the bottom half of the table or something. Having him as coach is a nice easy win for the club, no chance of fans kicking off while he's there and there's no one obviously better around.

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Pochettino.

Both have lost major finals as managers.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Manc

Pochettino.

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We wouldn't take him, that kind of stodgy football isn't to Abramovich's taste. Lampard is also underrated by a lot of opposition fans (presumably because they're still bitter about him from playing days), he does a lot of things very well, just a fraction naive at times.

Non-Chelsea folk don't like him because he is, as I believe you once described David Cameron, an ultimate overdog. So all the better when his gilded existence comes crashing down around him.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

We wouldn't take him, that kind of stodgy football isn't to Abramovich's taste. Lampard is also underrated by a lot of opposition fans (presumably because they're still bitter about him from playing days), he does a lot of things very well, just a fraction naive at times.

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A fraction? This is the first Chelsea team that I feel confident Arsenal can get a result against. Somethings missing. Used to go into games thinking we had to score the 2 chances we’d get whereas now you think another one will pop up.

They attack well but playing Chelsea used to feel like you were put in a headlock for 90 minutes and your goal was to get out of it before you passed out.

United fans seem to be the only fans who realise that they have a binman. Frank Lampard is Tim Sherwood with a better side, mates in the media, and the shiniest club blazer you've ever seen.

To spend all this money and not replace the keeper is utter madness. Cut your losses with Kepa and give Blackman the gig.

You can tell Lampard is better than Sherwood because both teams Lampard has managed have had the same flaw. They can play but they can be got at.

I don’t rate Kepa at all but when a keeper is conceding more goals than shots blocked, it’s probably not his fault. Sczesny had similarly awful goal/shot on target record and then went to Italy and got Roma a clean sheet record (with Allison on the bench) and replaced Buffon. It’s a sign you’re conceding too many easy chances.

We don't have any defenders and don't defend well, but he's great at instilling confidence in young players and great at changing games with subs/tactical switches.

If we still leak three per game with Thiago Silva shouting/pointing and whispering well-chosen proverbs in the dressing room, and maybe with a keeper who has hands, then we can start asking Martinez-style questions of Lampard defensively. The stuff going forward is really pretty decent, and will be even better now we have chucked all these much better players at it.

I had no idea David Luiz was that key. You conceded 20 goals more and your attacking shape returned 6 more.

David Luiz was shite except in the odd random game when he decided to bother, same as he is for you. The difference to 18/19 was Kanté being fit and very good that year, when last year he was probably neither. Plus the football we played just wasn't as expansive under Sarri - it was just pass, pass, pass, backwards, sideways, wait for the opposition to shit the bed.

Attacking wise, I mean, we had a firing Hazard in 18/19 so I'm pretty sure Frank's lot are net about +15 or more.

Fair I forgot about Kante.

I’m not saying Lampard is bad but other people could do a better job.

Everyone else is saying he's bad though. And with a short fuse so absolutely buzzing to see him fly off the handle when the pressure is turned on from the off this season and he faces up against Klopp's number two or Bielsa and Leeds :drool: