March Football: The "I'm on a train" edition

Obviously I had planned an epic several thousand word tribute to Southend per Spikey's request but the selfish bastards have only gone and not gone under after all, leaving me bereft of the sort of exciting content you've all come to expect from the first post of these threads.

Also I'm on a train and won't be going back home / to my computer until tomorrow. Mobile view doesn't even let me do a poll! I could switch to desktop view but that wouldn't truly reflect the "I'm typing this shit on a train" experience.

Anyway, Southend aren't dead and there's a load of football on this month.

In lieu of a poll why don't you all @ Spikey and tell him how Southend's continued existence makes you feel?

You start the monthly football thread as the "I'm on a train" edition on the day of a massive train crash in Greece?

You heartless bastard. :nono:

Typical little Eng... err... Scotlander.

I don't know who is the biggest monster now.

I did want to see Southend fold but that is really scummy from Ian.

Ive taken a train once so it really makes you think how lucky we are that it wasn't in Greece.

Oh, don't worry, we remember your Christmas-Covid Superspreading Railoganzer Keeks.

Having not seen loads of clickbait stories about why it's illegal for the Liverpool game to be on tv [other than on the grounds of public decency], what's the deal with that? Is there some rule about them not showing Premier League games at the same time as FA Cup ties? Doesn't seem to be on Amazon either, which was the answer to the last coverage conundrum.

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

Having not seen loads of clickbait stories about why it's illegal for the Liverpool game to be on tv [other than on the grounds of public decency], what's the deal with that? Is there some rule about them not showing Premier League games at the same time as FA Cup ties? Doesn't seem to be on Amazon either, which was the answer to the last coverage conundrum.

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I think it's the cup thing, yeah. It was a 3pm game from the QE2 weekend so they've lobbed it there. It's quite rare that games that weren't originally going to be televised are picked up by broadcasters.

I don't think it's to do with the cup game. Just that games which were originally scheduled to be in the 3pm Saturday coverage blackout aren't then allowed to be televised if they have to be moved. Happened with a United game earlier in the season and there wasn't any cup football on at the same time.

I might start a thread where we try to find a single subject James and RL agree on.

https://talksport.com/football/13471...v-live-stream/

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The game will not be shown on TV this week due to the original fixture taking place in the 3pm blackout slot for English football.

And rules dictate that if a game not picked for television coverage is postponed, then the rearranged match is still not able to be shown on TV – even if it has been rescheduled to a more agreeable time.

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If James could ever be right about something then I could agree with him. Nobody would be more relieved than me I can assure you.

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Originally Posted by TransferMarkt

It's the cup thing.

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Well now I just don't know what to think.

RL is basically right actually.

I just asked a friend, it's because each broadcaster only has x amount of games in their contract and there isn't really scope for picking up extra untelevised games unless they drop games further down the line (which does sometimes happen, so RL is also wrong). The fact that they've put it in this week is because there are FA cup games on.

There are, in fact, far sadder forums than this one.

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Originally Posted by randomlegend

https://talksport.com/football/13471...v-live-stream/



If James could ever be right about something then I could agree with him. Nobody would be more relieved than me I can assure you.

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https://forums.digitalspy.com/discus...es-thread/p147

:evictory:

Nunez and Konate back in much to my relief. I actually feel like we'll win now.

Cut back to me enraged when Wolves pounce on a Trent mistake to take a 8th minute lead.

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Originally Posted by -james-

https://forums.digitalspy.com/discus...es-thread/p147

:evictory:

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I mean I'm fine with being proven wrong but your source there is literally "some guy said this on another forum". It'd be like me linking a Reddit comment as evidence.

Or TalkSport.

Or Fabrizio Romano.

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Originally Posted by Boydy

You start the monthly football thread as the "I'm on a train" edition on the day of a massive train crash in Greece?

You heartless bastard. :nono:

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BBC tells me it happened on Tuesday night which is AGES ago.

United desperately in need of a reliable scorer in the summer. Bit toothless whenever Rashford isn't on the pitch (or Martial but he's never on the pitch).

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Originally Posted by Ian

BBC tells me it happened on Tuesday night which is AGES ago.

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It's the same day Southend cleared the debt so now I don't believe that you didn't have time to write another opening to the post.

You're getting lazy. Don't make us ask Pleb to take over again.

Well that was definitely a first half...

Both teams midfield wanting to take 2 or 3 touches before passing the ball on is killing the pace of the game. Quite a few times the Liverpool pass that breaks the lines is too hard or off target when it would have gotten us into a great position.

Nunez does not look fully fit to me, but he still put on one Elliotts head that he should have scored with.

That's offside. Booo.

Think we're losing this one.

Grimsby knocked Southampton out :D

Lol at Wolves having just 3 players in the box for their corner.

Can’t believe Paul Tierney never gave the foul originally before Nunez scored. What a gimp.

That loss against Everton annoys me more now. They’re so shit.

West Ham on the ropes.

United games are so entertaining at the moment. All super open.

That's a cracker.

Garnacho :drool:

Don Alejandro :cool:

What a team this is.

Jose Sa was an absolute embarrassment there. There really isn’t many good goalkeepers.

Jose Sa was an absolute embarrassment there. There really isn’t many good goalkeepers.

Lee Dixon saying he'll see a sad kid at the services on the way back to London...

Going back a few minutes, Fabinho has gone in studs up above the knee on a wolves player making a sliding challenge and VAR didn't even look.

Bruno Fernandes has never missed a single game through injury in his entire career. That's absolutely mental :cab:

Weghorst :cool:
Good Fred :cool:

This team is getting back to the Fergie days.

The game just isn't over until the whistle. Bring on more of the injury time winners.

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Originally Posted by randomlegend

Bruno Fernandes has never missed a single game through injury in his entire career. That's absolutely mental :cab:

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:cab:

That is genuinely bonkers.

One of Varane or Martinez has to play every match. Maguire and Libdelof can get by with one of them by their side, but they're a car crash together.

Only four PL clubs in the cup quarter finals is good fun.

Well that's Man City/Burnley on TV.

The Weghorst derby. He sits on the bench whilst his parents fight.

They're all on TV at this stage.

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Originally Posted by thommo

They're all on TV at this stage.

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Will be good to see Bruno Fernandes and Rashford smash you then.

Schteve being on our bench still takes me by surprise every time :D

Konate and VVD and we look so dominant. Yet to click in final third but that'll come with a little time and the Spanish Serb is the truth. Bernabeu is gonna be tasty, 2/1 just to win :drool:

Massive win. League table doesn't look so bad at the moment either.

https://i.imgur.com/K8UYacb.png

Still to play United, City, Arsenal, Spurs, etc. Could realistically come 3rd.

Our form :uhoh:

The Liverpool contingent are peak comedy at the moment. Third :D

I am a bit worried they’ll shit their way into 3rd due to Spurs/Newcastle plodding along but they still have quite a hard period of fixtures to come so hopefully that will stop that worry.

2 of Brighton/Grimsby/Sheff Utd/Blackburn reaching the semis of the FA Cup is a nice change. It’s a shame City/Man Utd avoided each other though.

Be hard to overtake the Mbappe-Weghorst frontline, they're playing some scintillating football. Hopefully we can keep it respectable at Anfield.

2 of Brighton/Grimsby/Sheff Utd/Blackburn reaching the semis of the FA Cup is a nice change. It’s a shame City/Man Utd avoided each other though.

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Originally Posted by randomlegend

The Liverpool contingent are peak comedy at the moment. Third :D

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I laughed at that too tbf. :D

12/13 home ties for Man Utd in the cups the last few seasons. Bloody hell. Poor fans missing out on the best away days.

Surprised by the lack of coverage of Grimsby winning away to Southampton and reaching the quarters. Barely mentioned on some websites.

Glad we got another home fixture in the next round. It's been a while.

Good win last night. The drop off into the reserves is stark (mainly Mctomminay who is turd) but luckily Casemiro was on hand. I love Weghorst's willingness to work hard. It's creating chances every game. Shame he can't finish.

Would have loved an easier draw than that. We've got to give it a go at Old Trafford though - United have been very good this season but we caused problems in the league game back in November and were pretty unlucky to lose. It's going to be on the Sunday after United go to Betis on the Thursday so that may also have an impact.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/64821116

Moya, chatting shit and unsurprisingly looking like RL's dad whilst doing so.

Tazbot's code not up to linking what it's trying to talk about.

Edit: RL bot not up to reading that it said "Moya" not "Moyes" ffs :D

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Originally Posted by Don

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/64821116

Moya, chatting shit and unsurprisingly looking like RL's dad whilst doing so.

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Moya Dodd is mental. She hates men and attractive women. Proper knobhead.

Looked at Liverpool's fixture list and apart from the dross I can see them dropping points in the majority of their remaining games.

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Originally Posted by Lofty

Looked at Liverpool's fixture list and apart from the dross I can see them dropping points in the majority of their remaining games.

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The dross is nearly all bunched up in the last nine games. City, Chelsea and Arsenal in the space of a week after the international break. That'll make or break it.

The only thing making or breaking anything Liverpool related is that giant French/Dutch/Cameroonian fuck's creaking muscles.

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Originally Posted by randomlegend

Bruno Fernandes has never missed a single game through injury in his entire career. That's absolutely mental :cab:

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In a similar vein, Reece James has apparently never gone more than 8 league games without getting injured, and no more than 6 since 2020.

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Originally Posted by -james-

In a similar vein, Reece James has apparently never gone more than 8 league games without getting injured, and no more than 6 since 2020.

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Only really started getting injured under Tuchel. I don’t even think he missed a game for Wigan when he was there. Can put Kante in the same bracket but replace Tuchel with Sarri.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/64821422

Uh. That might cause us some problems. :D

Everyone has known this all along, haven’t they? There’s no such thing as private wealth in Saudi Arabia, they’re all linked to the state to some extent.

Yeah, it's a really, really weird society.

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Originally Posted by -james-

The dross is nearly all bunched up in the last nine games. City, Chelsea and Arsenal in the space of a week after the international break. That'll make or break it.

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Leeds are an unknown, away could be trickier if the new man sorts them out. West Ham away no guarantee of a win for a team like Liverpool with a dogshit midfield. Spurs at Anfield, probably a draw. Wont beat Brentford. Villa now Liverpool's bogey team. I'd be surprised if Liverpool take more than 20 points from the last nine games.

I think we'll trudge home in 5th or 6th.

If it was like the defensive crisis season, we eventually found a fix for it and finished the season with 9 wins and a draw in 10 games. I'm not sure if that'll happen this season, but any team that goes on like a 5 or 6 game winning run is going to be hard to catch from here.

How nailed on were Arsenal to finish in the top 4 last season? Can easily see Spurs and Newcastle shitting the bed enough for Liverpool to sneak into 4th, but you can make a case for anywhere between there and wherever Chelsea end up. Be interesting to see if the grind of the season makes the midfield situation better or worse.

I can see us finishing 7th. The unbeaten run was fantastic but I fear we've been figured out. We'll probably start like a train against City and get thumped.

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

How nailed on were Arsenal to finish in the top 4 last season? Can easily see Spurs and Newcastle shitting the bed enough for Liverpool to sneak into 4th, but you can make a case for anywhere between there and wherever Chelsea end up. Be interesting to see if the grind of the season makes the midfield situation better or worse.

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We didn't win a game for a month and a half or so between December and February so really not that nailed on at all.

These arsenal man around me, seem to think that they should be able to get De Jong or Jude Bellingham to play at Xhaka role.

Hakimi to Prison FC after being charged with rape HWG

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Hakimi to Prison FC after being charged with rape HWG

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The Best rapist

That right back position is hotting up. Dani Alves thought he had it locked down.

What a goal that is from Foden.

Sitting in Montevideo airport and on a distant screen I'm sure I've just seen Bournemouth take the lead in about 8 seconds. Am I getting the fantasy narrative feed?

Paul Merson was doing his best to stopwatch the goal. 7.8 seconds according to him, 11 seconds according to time.

Potter really should just be sacked at half time. Another awful half.

Bournemouth :cab:

I guess now we see what bottle Arsenal have.

Arsenal have had about 4 times now where a shot or cross has hit a hand or an arm so far. They should have had at least 1 penalty.

Leeds will probably score here. Potter has shit himself the last 10 and currently have 4 centre halves on the pitch in a back 5 and a midfield of Zakaria/Gallagher

Never seen Skipp before. He looks like he should be working on a farm.

Turnaround. :D

Some finish from Reiss Nelson to win Arsenal game. Ref should have blown for full time though, the cunt.

Pandemonium in the stadium.

Today was the first time a player who played for Wenger didn’t start since 1986.

Arsenal winning the league will be acceptable.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/football...le-manchester/

Sounds like we've got a choice between human rights abusers who will actually sort out the main issues with the club and a less morally dubious (by billionaire standards) bloke who probably won't.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised there's not really any good options when it comes to people who can pay £5bn for a football club.

Potter on course for manager of the month, Waff off for an early bath. It's gone goal crazy.

definitely winning the CL, as is the Chelsea way

:harold:

View Tweet

That Adama finish is ridiculous. As is Bazunu's claims of being a professional goalkeeper.

Be great if Brighton challenged for 4th. 3 games in hand on Spurs with 7 points less on the board. 4 fairly easy games to play before Spurs away as well.

Whenever you think that about Brighton they tend to go on one of their can't score get gubbed runs. 10 out of 12 should be the aim for the next 4 if they were to have top 4 ambitions [I don't think they really do].

So he's clearly playing Henderson on the right of midfield to try and help Trent with Sir Marcus. Despite that being attempted and failing on multiple occasions this year. Can't wait.

Fear not, there's only so long Kylian Trashford's luck continues and his dogshit bumbling runs and touches keep going his way.

Clearly scoring a hattrick now after that.

Brother, I'd worry about the midget butcher being outed as a bum up against Darwin. His aerial challenges and incisive passing stats ain't gonna save him.

Make it a fucking tasty affair with brawls pls.

Just checked la liga and both valencia and sevilla are both in the relagation zone.

Luke Shaw is incredible. He might quietly be one of the most technically sound players in the league. His touch, passing and crossing is top tier.

Roberson has always been better than ‘Trent’.

Cody Gakgoal.

Seems quite an odd performance from United. When they've quickened things up they've cut through quite well, but they seemed content not to do that. That surely changes after HT.

Liverpool did well for about 30 mins but then those same old shoot yourself in the foot mistakes started to creep in. That Elliott pass was suicidal.

Fuck.

Shocking defending.

Yet another terrible goalkeeping error to allow him to score.

What the fuck is that shit?

Martinez just got absolutely toyed with.

Alright, we can let Taz out now.

We've been so bad at the back.

What a shitshow. :D

One of those days. Was bound to happen with so many fixtures in a short period of time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lofty

Looked at Liverpool's fixture list and apart from the dross I can see them dropping points in the majority of their remaining games.

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:harold:

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Originally Posted by Kikó

One of those days. Was bound to happen with so many fixtures in a short period of time.

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Wished you'd played like this last week. Not that we'd have finished.

Liverpool having another few years with a great front 3 will be a bit tedious.

Shaw :cool:

What a lad.

I'm loving the sweary crowd on Five Live's coverage. Heads have gone.

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Originally Posted by Baz

:harold:

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Yeah Liverpool never pull a win out of the bag then lose to a bunch of shepherds.

I also got lolled at for saying United defence is poor :sorry:

Bruno Fernandes has to be the worst hyped up player I've seen at Anfield in quite some time.

Didn't you literally predict the contrary [ie only wins against the dross]?

Best United side in years. Level on goals scored and conceded against the worst Liverpool [for a good while] coming into this. :harold:

But but but but the goalkeeping errors?!?!

Absolute spanking. Embarrassing.

Shocking.

Randrew just got a message in on the BBC livetext.

Luke Shaw :lol:

Sorry m8

:harold:

Seems to be a fact of life that we do this against City or Liverpool every season.

Oh well.

Just seen the score :D

I should have known by the Liverpool lot being slightly positive. I’d have guessed 2-0 Liverpool reading this.

Problem is this is just Bournemouth writ large all over again. 46 league goals this season, a third of them in two games [out of 25]. :cab:

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

Didn't you literally predict the contrary [ie only wins against the dross]?

Best United side in years. Level on goals scored and conceded against the worst Liverpool [for a good while] coming into this. :harold:

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It's essentially a derby and therefore anything can happen. They'll spunk their shorts over this for weeks whilst getting rolled over by competent sides like Brentford where the crowd goes quiet after the opening song.

Huge vindication for Taz.

Or a stopped clock, etc.

This is awesome. :cool:

There's time for 10, right?

Somebody get that Nicky Butt thinkpiece I saw the other day up.

One of the worst second half performances from a United team ever. Two week fine for all involved.

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Originally Posted by Shindig

There's time for 10, right?

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God I hope so.

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Originally Posted by Lofty

It's essentially a derby and therefore anything can happen. They'll spunk their shorts over this for weeks whilst getting rolled over by competent sides like Brentford where the crowd goes quiet after the opening song.

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Acid test for Arsenal will be whether they can break the habit of a lifetime when they come to Anfield whenever that is.

That was absolutely glorious.

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Originally Posted by Kikó

One of the worst second half performances from a United team ever. Two week fine for all involved.

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Lol where's your tweets now.

I think Liverpool just scored the same amount of goals in 50 minutes that Chelsea have in 4 months

What happened with that fan?

Same number of points gathered this weekend though.

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Originally Posted by Baz

What happened with that fan?

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To the gulag.

Fernandes was disgraceful that second half. No idea how he got away with pushing the lino, either.

Hope RL is ok.

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Originally Posted by Magic

Lol where's your tweets now.

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Up your mum.

What a brilliant win!

The last proper season for a while with the new CL rules coming into affect from next season. Brighton to be the saviours

Salah has got more cards at anfield (2) for taking off his shirt for celebrating than man utd have goals (1) since 2017

That was very, very nice. Third goal is my favorite in a long time.

Bruno such a pathetic rat. Looked like a player in pickup who stops running after 20 minutes because he doesn't like his teammates.

Just clocked it's the return leg against Bournemouth next weekend. :uhoh:

Such a weird season. Players way off it for so much of it, but the two biggest wins [I assume] of Klopp's time in charge chucked in to break up the misery.

Henderson, Salah, Trent & Robertson looked back to thier best. Bring on Madrid.

Difference that I noticed in first half to second was not thinking about things.

You could see it, players wanted lots of touches, playing it slow, overthinking passes, often leading to nervy passes about the back.

In the second half it became very one touch stuff, unless it was needed. It was on instinct and fast. Very few teams could cope with Liverpool when they do that.

https://i.ibb.co/NK1mCjg/FB-IMG-1678041527213.jpg

Fucking egghead came from leading Excelsior, parked them up at Anfield drunk on fumes of beating Burnley and Charlton to a trophy, and his most notable tactical plan was to take 30+ seconds per goalkick. Get the fuck out of my house and take those 2 comical favela cunts and your rat captain with you :D

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Originally Posted by Kikó

Up your mum.

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Link?

Souness getting stuck into Neviile on Sky is quite funny.

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I guess that's supposed to be banter?

Did anyone, including Utd fans, every really thing Fernandes was ever anything more than a waste of space bluffer?

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Originally Posted by Kikó

I guess that's supposed to be banter?

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Close enough to the bone (and the truth) that it’s very good banter.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kikó

I guess that's supposed to be banter?

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Nah, the banter is

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Originally Posted by Kikó

Up your mum.

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Anyway we might not be the team of 12 months ago but fucking hell I enjoyed that.

Slowly but surely it’s getting a bit better 5 clean sheets in a row and 4 wins out of 5 suppose the test is if we lose to Bournemouth next week.

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Originally Posted by Giggles

Did anyone, including Utd fans, every really thing Fernandes was ever anything more than a waste of space bluffer?

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He was awful today (but who wasn't after the first goal) but let's not go over the top.

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Originally Posted by Giggles

Close enough to the bone (and the truth) that it’s very good banter.

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Not really. We've protested against the owners throughout the last 16 years not just when we have lost. It's soccer am.

Kiko getting homotional, RL doing a Houdini/Casemiro, Luca denied his monthly '@don' post. Rest the fuck in pieces :(

:D

Why isn't RL slagging off Nunez tonight?

He's busy crying into his United scarf. Give him a bit.

Poor Kiko :(

It's football. Liverpool were excellent.

Mate, you can't come support us now, that's not how it works.

Liverpool fans getting giddy over this when their club is on a steady descent back to mediocrity where they belong is cute.

7-0 win to still be 7 points behind us as well.

They'll end the season with nothing and be also-rans forever more.

https://a.pinatafarm.com/800x857/dfb...ind-a-mask.jpg

True :D

I've been out all afternoon, has Taz hacked the BBC homepage or did 'Liverpool smash seven past shambolic Man Utd' actually happen?

Shambolic is probably being kind.

There's a lot that will have missed the MOTD highlight reel but glad to see Antony taking the ball down using a completely pointless party trick at 0-0 was remembered. And his giveaway for our 4th. Just how bad he is for his pricetag can't be understated, only player I've seen at this level where you actually need to defend the opposite of goalside as he has no pace or intent.

And The Butcher's defending against Salah for Gakpo's 2nd is also straight out the "Sparta Rotterdam Conquerers XI" playbook. GIF me up for that please, this Souness' world and we're all...etc

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FqeeGGFW...pg&name=medium

Tell your kids his aerial challenge win % combined with his final third entry made him the league's best.

Literally everyone under 30 in Latin America has that haircut. Do the chicks actually dig it or what?

I've never seen someone talk about United as much as taz does. You're not even from Liverpool mate, stop pretending it means anything to you except being able to brag to your YouTube buddies at powerleague.

Looking at today's papers it's starting to feel like yesterday has taken some of the attention off our 4-0 win at Huddersfield.

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Originally Posted by Don

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FqeeGGFW...pg&name=medium

Tell your kids his aerial challenge win % combined with his final third entry made him the league's best.

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To be fair, these freeze frame photos are a bit of a joke. Always out to show the worst of someone or a situation.

I think Martinez actually did the best he could do in the situation. One on one against one of the best forwards in the world, Salah plays the pass and if Shaw wasn't asleep, he might have actually picked up Gapko.

Shades of Messi against Boateng.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kikó

I think Martinez actually did the best he could do in the situation. One on one against one of the best forwards in the world, Salah plays the pass and if Shaw wasn't asleep, he might have actually picked up Gapko.

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Martinez is great but he absolutely did not do the best he could do lol

He could have dived in earlier and be skinned I suppose.

Might have been better than running round in circles and falling over leaving a simple pass to Gakpo right enough

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kikó

I've never seen someone talk about United as much as taz does. You're not even from Liverpool mate, stop pretending it means anything to you except being able to brag to your YouTube buddies at powerleague.

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My mate is 'hardcore' Liverpool and seems to watch all United matches and fires off grief all the time, when we were at school if Liverpool lost on a weeknight it was guaranteed he'd pretend he was ill to avoid the mockery the next day. Refers to all the players by their first name etc. He's from Barrow.

Meanwhile the lad I work with was born in the same postcode as Anfield, goes to games etc and somehow manages to be nowhere near as insufferable.

This happens here a lot too. On both sides. It definitely seems they care more when the other side lose than when their own side wins.

For example when each Real Madrid goal went in they celebrated as if United had scored it themselves. Best you'll get out of one of them is that they've been on the stadium tour. It's quite bizarre.

Everyone seems to be over-blowing yesterday. It's embarrassing, but we haven't really learned anything. Every United player is knackered, so it might be for the best to have shut down any title notions so that they can rotate a bit in favour of the things that they can still win.

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Qatar bid for Manchester United is in pole position. INEOS have tabled another offer but Qatar are willing to go over £5b

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Looks like it will be Qatar. Guess it's inevitable once they are interested.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gray Fox

This happens here a lot too. On both sides. It definitely seems they care more when the other side lose than when their own side wins.

For example when each Real Madrid goal went in they celebrated as if United had scored it themselves. Best you'll get out of one of them is that they've been on the stadium tour. It's quite bizarre.

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It's a global thing really. When I lived in Barcelona you would often hear fireworks whenever Real conceded a goal in an important match.

Brother, your new owners were decided yesterday afternoon.

Qatar and "Mase" back next year. Glory glory man utd

The biggest club in English football being reduced to nothing more than a vehicle for sportswashing. This is proper end of days stuff.

It's not sportswashing, more trying to keep the entire region relevant once the oil runs out. Still, it's all a bit shit.

Football is the new oil. Footboil.

I had a massive boil on my foot that got infected about 15 years ago from wearing the same knackered trainers all summer holiday without socks, and I had to go to hospital and get it cut off, then I was off school for the first fortnight of term. I almost lost the foot, according to my mum.

Heck of a segway that.

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Originally Posted by Foe

Heck of a segway that.

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I'm correcting you not just for the hell of it but because for years I'd read the word "segue" as "seg-yoo" rather than "seg-way" which is how it's actually pronounced and what it means. Segway is one of those scooter things.

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Originally Posted by Boydy

I'm correcting you not just for the hell of it but because for years I'd read the word "segue" as "seg-yoo" rather than "seg-way" which is how it's actually pronounced and what it means. Segway is one of those scooter things.

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Get down off your peddle-stool.

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Originally Posted by Boydy

I'm correcting you not just for the hell of it but because for years I'd read the word "segue" as "seg-yoo" rather than "seg-way" which is how it's actually pronounced and what it means. Segway is one of those scooter things.

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Hell of a seaway that.

7-0 on the cards here?

Anyone got the video of that Blackpool Burnley fan fighting? Laddo's dead but suggestions are he was the instigator in the videos.

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‘Brutally murdered’ I’ve seen thrown about the last day or so. It’s the Blackpool fans that go looking for trouble. Weapons

There can't be many things gayer than fighting over football.

This is like the moment I found out rear wheel drive did not mean the back wheels turn for steering.

Thanks for the teaching moment Boydy.

What :D

Do you not have cars up there for fuck sake?

I’m sure I’ve told you all about my struggles with modern world technologies before.

I spent three hours inventing a suction cup plug remover in Shetland one weekend because I’d never seen the “push button behind the tap technology” before. Felt like a genius explaining my solution to the stuck plug conundrum to my flatmate upon his return, only for that to crash into utter devastation when he pointed out my error.

“push button behind the tap technology”

:D

Cutting edge technology that.

Get Foe on Dragon's Den.

What’s the button behind the tap mean?

Pretty poor performance last night, and that's been coming for a few weeks. Thankfully we've been picking up the results anyway - managed to scrape that smash and grab win at Brighton, battled to a draw at home to Wolves and won against Leeds in the cup thanks to two screamers. It's quite clear Palhinha is completely dominant in our midfield and with him banned we lost that grip in the centre of the pitch.

To be honest though, I'd take losing to Brentford and Arsenal if we can somehow get through in the FA Cup when Palhinha is back.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Giggles

What’s the button behind the tap mean?

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Pops the plug out.

Reece James at wing back in a CL home game? I’ll be shocked if he doesn’t score.

Watching Raheem Sterling up front is absolutely aids

Picking him at #6 in a fantasy draft is worse.

Free kick being given every 30 seconds. Fuck me.

Of course they finally score from someone completely air kicking it. Can’t believe they’ve not scored at least 4 over these 2 games

It’ll be criminal if Chelsea don’t go through now.

Havertz constantly turning into an absolute don in knockout football is quite infuriating. Koulibaly is also absolutely brilliant in Europe compared to league games. Can’t tell if it’s motivation or if some players just genuinely cannot hack the Barclays.

Dortmund are fucking useless but it's Felix and 10 nothing players so it's a real thriller.

Pep getting 20 goals a season out of that lesbian must be the defining proof that he's the greatest coach. That first 45 mins performance from him was diabolical.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Havertz constantly turning into an absolute don in knockout football is quite infuriating. Koulibaly is also absolutely brilliant in Europe compared to league games. Can’t tell if it’s motivation or if some players just genuinely cannot hack the Barclays.

---

Option 2. Some players just aren’t cut out for it for whatever reason. See Igor Biscan turning into prime Xavi/Iniesta in 2005.

Definitely feels like motivation is a factor with Havertz. Even in finals, he looks like he’d rather be anywhere else. Koulibaly 100% just isn’t suited to the manic nature of the Premier League.

Game's gone.

:lol:

Fuck me

These idiots making Stockley Park look competent.

Some miss from Bellingham.

I feel like Potter’s subs might get them unstuck.

Potter absolutely hates Mudryk. Perfect scenario to use him in

I always think the encroachment rules are very unfair, is it mandatory retake for defensive encroachment [or 'keeper off his line], but only a problem for offensive encroachment if they 'interfere with play'?

Rules around penalties should be unfair.

I wonder how much Boehly has paid Ceferin.

Wesley Fofana is a colossus. Shame he’s made of glass like all their other good players

"Their"? Is wafflez still actually pretending he's not a Chelsea fan? He posts about them more than Taz posts about United.

Finishing 10th and brining #3 home with Kante doing his usual thing in the latter stages. I will be there no matter what.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by randomlegend

"Their"? Is wafflez still actually pretending he's not a Chelsea fan? He posts about them more than Taz posts about United.

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Brav it's too early to be showing your face, I'll see you in August.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Fqo9vn7XwAI0OMT.jpg:large

Case in point.

https://www.theguardian.com/football...chester-united

Shit, did we win? Potter :cool:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gray Fox

That right back position is hotting up. Dani Alves thought he had it locked down.

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Man City just have a knack of having creepy folk play for them

I found this part of the story particularly odd:

Quote:

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A video on the Sun’s website appears to show Walker dropping his trousers in front of two women who he then engaged in conversation.

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u wot?

"It's bigger than a bread bin".

The grainy vids just made it look like your standard lad banter in a pub. Fucking leave the poor fuckwit alone.

De Ligt bailing out Sommer massively there.

"Scott Parker is no longer head coach of Club Bruges"

Quality club statement. Brutal.

That was a goal for me.

Muller doesn't get a touch, I don't think.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

"Scott Parker is no longer head coach of Club Bruges"

Quality club statement. Brutal.

---

Clearly a sensible decision, but you have to question how on earth he blagged his way in there in the first place.

PSG not winning the CL again :drool:

Bayern progressing not a while hill of beans better. Hopefully Napoli wreck everyone but they'll probably come unstuck at some point.

Bayern are pretty toilet too. Real Madrid will probably shit their way to it again. Benfica to make the semis.

Tfw you're enjoying hating PSG and then you remember you're about to be PSG :(

PSG :harold:

Spurs :D

Hopefully this turns out to be something of a jinx, but Richarlison seems to be having a fairly low key god awful season for a £60m forward. Doesn't seem to attract anywhere near the criticism that some players do.

Goes without saying but I shall anyway, fuck me Spurs were shit.

That was an utterly pathetic performances in both games from Tottenham. What a tragic club. Hopefully they can win their convert appeal to get more Beyonce performances to entertain the crowd

Quote:

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

Hopefully this turns out to be something of a jinx, but Richarlison seems to be having a fairly low key god awful season for a £60m forward. Doesn't seem to attract anywhere near the criticism that some players do.

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Antony has set the bar high/low.

Romero too, jesus, work permit freedom and an ill-advised world cup fluke has got the English teams forgetting how ill-suited these favela lads are to the English game.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by randomlegend

Tfw you're enjoying hating PSG and then you remember you're about to be PSG :(

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PSG as the feeder club to United, like that scam Watford were running with whoever it was in Italy. :cool:

Conte’s European record is a disgrace.

I know a spurs fan that had £1000 on them to qualify :D

He's either a gambling addict or an idiot. Probably both.

I don't know why Spurs are persisting with Conte. He was always going to be the wrong manager for them. If actual Mourinho couldn't make it work, then this needy, perma-depressive, mea speaka noa de Engleesh Mourinho has no chance. I've said it before, but Chelsea and Spurs definitely got their appointments the wrong way round.

Isn't Conte lying in bed somewhere recovering?

If we get a good draw we could scam our way into the semis yet. Probably only Napoli, City and Bayern who I am confident would beat us. And Real Madrid I guess but even they're not all that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kikó

Isn't Conte lying in bed somewhere recovering?

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He's back now. But yea, he was. Along with half of his Christmas card list dying over the last year. Poor cunt. He's been properly Spurs'd.

These mans speaking as if we ain't about to pull off the greatest comeback in European football history since our last one.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

If we get a good draw we could scam our way into the semis yet. Probably only Napoli, City and Bayern who I am confident would beat us. And Real Madrid I guess but even they're not all that.

---

Bayern aren’t much better than Dortmund. Muller and Chupo Moting front 2 is hilarious. Napoli/Madrid would be a cracking tie

There's definitely potential for someone stealing their way into the final this year, hopefully it isn't City.

Madrid would grift Napoli out of a result despite being smashed in all likelihood.

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He's begging for the axe :D

I reckon Spurs could send even a man who wears a wig into male pattern baldness.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lewis

PSG as the feeder club to United, like that scam Watford were running with whoever it was in Italy. :cool:

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Us somehow ending up with Mbappe would be quite funny.

Buying back Ronaldo :drool:

Weghorst 2 year deal :drool:

I'm all for this 'effective time' business [well sort of] but unless it has the desired effect [and basically knocks time wasting on the head] I'm not sure I'll ever really come to terms with the fact that 4.50pm on Saturday will still see most 3 o'clock kick-offs having 15 minutes plus left to go.

Is Union Saint-Gilloise Tony Bloom's other team?

We're back.

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He's still going?!

Indeed. He will never retire.

It has been over 365 days since a Wolves 'striker' scored in the league

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Yevrah

Indeed. He will never retire.

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I remember him being on CM4 I think and even though Betis would accept the bid, he just refused to move. He loved Betis so much.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel

It has been over 365 days since a Wolves 'striker' scored in the league

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That's the kind of record Newcastle can help you with.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel

I remember him being on CM4 I think and even though Betis would accept the bid, he just refused to move. He loved Betis so much.

---

Irl he did spend almost a decade away from Betis, but i agree that he clearly loves it there. I think I’ve read he owns a part of the club.

Yeah, he went off to join other long term FM don/player unable to function outside of his home city Vicente at 'Balenthia'.

Just watched United game from last night.

You can't help but love Weghorst, but the difference when we get an actually good striker is going to be stark. Osimhen please.

I would love it if he secured himself some.proper cult status by contributing a few key goals somewhere toward the end of the season but there's no getting away from the fact that he's quite bad.

Every club needs a Shola Ameobi.

I know he's had a shit time of it lately, but Conte does not look a well man.

Something about Americans talking football makes my toes curl.

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For those wanting some live footy, J.League now stream on YouTube. Just put you VPN to a country that doesn't have TV rights (such as VN).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrcmj8ei6rg

Van Dijk :harold:

I just assumed he was miles offside. Van Dijk didn’t even bother :lol:

Looking forward to no MotD this evening.

I haven't watched it in years, to be honest. The sky highlights on youtube do enough for me.

:lol:

What a penalty.

The 4th spot always seems to come down to who bottles it least. Gonna be a right shit off. Mon Brighton

Liverpool, fuck me. Sums up the season that does.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lofty

Looked at Liverpool's fixture list and apart from the dross I can see them dropping points in the majority of their remaining games.

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:cool:

See this is the problem with these smaller teams, they get themselves all worked up for what is their cup final on the Monday and leave themselves all tuckered out for the Saturday.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

The 4th spot always seems to come down to who bottles it least. Gonna be a right shit off. Mon Brighton

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14 consecutive scoreless draws might do it for us.

Sets us up nicely for the midweek scenes that :drool:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lofty

:cool:

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Again, isn't this the actual opposite of what you predicted there?

Is that the second or third bottom of the league side Liverpool have managed to lose to this season? Pretty sure Forest were, Leeds might have been at the time. :cab:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

The 4th spot always seems to come down to who bottles it least. Gonna be a right shit off. Mon Brighton

---

Whilst that would be great, it would actually break Brighton. European football might be a step too far for them at this stage [particularly seeing as they are likely to be raided in the summer]. They're pretty much at the limit of their capabilities/expectation ceiling where they are and trying to smash through that just ends up in the sort of shitshow West Ham now find themselves. It's a bit rubbish, but that's the way it is.

Maybe G Potts Chelsea can make a late run at it, although one of Spurs and Newcastle probably more likely.

Hopefully Liverpool can sort their wretched away form in their next league game.

Think I saw that Bournemouth and Man Utd have a combined aggregate score of like 17-2 for Liverpool and they got 6 points out of 12.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

Whilst that would be great, it would actually break Brighton. European football might be a step too far for them at this stage [particularly seeing as they are likely to be raided in the summer]. They're pretty much at the limit of their capabilities/expectation ceiling where they are and trying to smash through that just ends up in the sort of shitshow West Ham now find themselves. It's a bit rubbish, but that's the way it is.

Maybe G Potts Chelsea can make a late run at it, although one of Spurs and Newcastle probably more likely.

Hopefully Liverpool can sort their wretched away form in their next league game.

---

If they came 4th this season, they wouldn't come 4th again next season but then they won't be doing that anyway. Can't be having it being a net bad thing on average.

It would be if they got relegated.

Think we'd have to win 11 from 13, which would mean scoring in 11 from 13, which isn't going to happen.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

It would be if they got relegated.

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I would happily have my net worth on them not being relegated next season.

Chilwell is so fucking good. We're like a different team with him in it.

I didnt see much of the game beyond the first 10 mins as I had to go out, however it sounded like the usual script of our away games, despite the promising early start.

We've only won 3 away games all season(Villa, Saudi and Spurs), so that's going to need to massively change if this top 4 (3rd, lol)talk is at all serious.

It looked like a 3-0 stroll for the first twenty odd minutes. That triple change in the second half was truly bizarre.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

Chilwell is so fucking good. We're like a different team with him in it.

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No idea why he kept the 4 when his players are just clearly 3 atb specialists. Another shot off the woodwork and a goal disallowed in this game - think this has happened in 80% of Potter’s games.

And now they concede after dominating. Same thing every week.

Enzo Fernandes is a plur

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Enzo Fernandes is a plur

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Quite aside from his technical abilities, he seems to be a natural born leader which is what we have needed very badly.

The goal was the weirdest thing ever. Nobody even reacted including the fans. I just assumed he was 5 yards offside.

Referee should have seen 2 Leicester players off by now

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

Quite aside from his technical abilities, he seems to be a natural born leader which is what we have needed very badly.

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It's mental none of the big sides took a chance on him in the summer.

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:cool:

Leicester might actually go down lol

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Just bin it off.

Binning it off would be a breach of contract I imagine.

Top Gear went down the toilet once the legends quit. I dont think MOTD will have the same effect. Nobody cares.

Mason Mount out of the squad the last 3 games. Not just a coincidence

Liverpool currently rolling with the highest xG of the day according to understat.

Oh no, scratch that, Leicester just pip them.

:happycry:

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:harold:

Fake news.

That picture was taken against Fulham.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

Fake news.

That picture was taken against Fulham.

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I don't think AfcGaBeast would lie, tyvm.

He didn't get booked today either.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

He didn't get booked today either.

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Now I just don't know what to think.

I'm starting to doubt myself.

You heard the man.

He should probably DM him to apologise really.

Gateshead made the semis of the FA Trophy today, matching the furthest they've ever been in the erm ... lucrative trophy's history.

Get a load of the Kvaradona goal and Osimhen assist. If they don't do the double it'll be a shame. We'll look back fondly on this duo's season in decades gone.

Haven't paid much attention but it sounds like Dzeko and Grafite over there

Man City offer absolutely nothing when De Bruyne aren't playing.

This match has been toilet.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

Man City offer absolutely nothing when De Bruyne aren't playing.

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Is that because he's the only one bright enough to kick the ball to their giant goal freak? (I know it's not just that, he's amazing.)

The fuckers have gone and ruined the highlights by shortening them to such a degree that it's almost impossible to keep up with them so you lose interest. Champions League Weekly highlights on ITV used to do this. They must of thought no one would have watched without those fucking tragic cunts and their shittalk and now their value has been artificially inflated thanks to this botch job.

If they could spin this out to fifty minutes and add graphics etc. it would be a massive improvement.

I want a full Eurogoals experience.

"And now over to Portugal where Mario Jardel continued his scoring run ..."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lewis

If they could spin this out to fifty minutes and add graphics etc. it would be a massive improvement.

---

You sound like everyone 50+ on Facebook.

Super League has been broadcasting highlights without commentary for years, and it's harder for casual fans to make out what is going on there than on a football pitch.

I feel like most sports are easy to understand if you have basic understanding of another sport, to be honest.

Football without commentary or pundits is just wrong - the BBC need to sort this.

Separating the purists from the narrative-munchers :drool:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Spikey M

You sound like everyone 50+ on Facebook.

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I assume you weren't only realising this at the time of your post.

The GB News alternative. :D

If you just want highlights then stick on YouTube.

If that’s MOTD now… I don’t even know. :nono:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Yevrah

Football without commentary or pundits is just wrong - the BBC need to sort this.

---

Well they could sort it. Or if they could of managed the situation correctly and not given a shit about what the Daily Mail thinks it need not of ever happened.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Luke Emia

Well they could sort it. Or if they could of managed the situation correctly and not given a shit about what the Daily Mail thinks it need not of ever happened.

---

Yep, a productive way forward from here is definitely to dwell on what's already happened.

And I should add, with less sarcasm, they obviously need to sort their guidelines and application of them out, but that's for later.

https://www.theguardian.com/media/20...backlash-fears

They've apparently pulled an episode of Attenborough's latest TV show to appease Tories.

The article explains why that isn't actually the case.

Poor Lewis :(

On the one hand we have an official BBC statement, which they know will be subject to scrutiny and Freedom of Information requests from sadcases, as well as a statement from the production company, confirming that not to have been the case. On the other, we have 'senior sources', who, despite claiming to be familiar enough with this programme to explain the exact thought process behind its commissioning and broadcast, have only decided to say something now, in the middle of a political row, completely anonymously, five years after the separate 'sixth episode' was originally commissioned.

How can we possibly judge the merits of these competing claims? Better to just reflexively defend the government.

Poor Lewis :(

That red is harsh.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

That red is harsh.

---

I mean, he was airborne for 0.1 seconds
https://twitter.com/EPLBible/status/...jpHe2VTwQ

Trawling Twitter trying to find a clip that shows all the angles and my only takeaway is the incredible amount of bot accounts that club has. About fifty tweets showing the penalty claim with the exact same caption about how Anthony Taylor needs investigating.

Regarding the red, it probably is the correct decision these days even though it wouldn’t have got a yellow 25 years ago.

Anthony Taylor is the 2nd best ref in England, imagine how wound up they would be if the 30th best was doing their games.

I can see why it's a red although I can also see why the ref title give it as a yellow. Oh well.

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The handball rule is completely broken.

Big win for us. Happy to see Isak back who just looks sharper than Wilson at the minute.

Arsenal looked very good today. The Trossard signing had been a great piece of business compared to that Eastern European chap who Chelsea signed.

Disclaimer: I've hardly seen the latter play, but he was serious money.

The Athletic have printed a list of Chelsea players that would be part of a mass clearout and Ben Chilwell is top of that list. :cab:

Surely it's just bollocks journalism and the only way he'd leave is if Man City offered silly money?

Their left back at Burnley looks pretty shit hot. Doubt he goes but I think they’re going down the route of ‘if you’re not going to sign a new contact then we’ll be looking to cash in’ route.

Can a player sign a new deal while you are under embargo?

I'll be watching my boy for Porto but, not having actually watched them play, I can see enough in Leipzig ranks to threaten an upset today :drool:

A penalty for that? Fuck off.

The freak is back.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Boydy

A penalty for that? Fuck off.

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Absolute joke. :lol: That’s the first time I’ve been watching a match and had the thought ‘I don’t actually know this game anymore’. I’m sure there have been some equally bad VAR calls, but I just can’t see how that was given.

Grealish is such a little scumbag.

Soft penalty earlier and then Werner gets booked for having the temerity to get cleared out by Ederson. Abu Dhabi paying the big bribes this year.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Boydy

Soft penalty earlier and then Werner gets booked for having the temerity to get cleared out by Ederson. Abu Dhabi paying the big bribes this year.

---

He was booked for arguing with the ref.

I believe it was Laimer who got clattered.

Oh, I thought it was Werner himself. Fair enough.

Man City must have had about 20 penalties this season.

Fuck me, he's gone in raw tonight.

Real Madrid will shithouse them out of the competition.

Yes he scores loads of goals and makes loads of money, but can Alf Inge Haaland really enjoy having a son with a face like that?

Your obsession with Haaland being ugly is quite weird.

Not really, he is quite possibly an actual Ogre.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

Fuck me, he's gone in raw tonight.

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How was it?

Henderson ill and Bajcetic has apparently picked up one of those injuries that Klopp wont put a time on. It's Fabinho and Milner in a midfield two with Liverpool going 4-2-4 if reports are to be believed.

I liked the clickbait story today I saw that had Bajetic being injured as some sort of MASSIVE CRISIS similar to when most of the front line was injured/unavailable against Barcelona. :happycry:

Properly looking forward to this with no nerves.

Milner - Fabinho :happycry:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Don

Properly looking forward to this with no nerves.

---

Yeah pressure's off when you're out already.

Napoli banned Frankfurt fans from the 2nd leg, after the 1st leg had been played. So you can guess how things are going in Naples right about now.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Don

Properly looking forward to this with no nerves.

---

Same.

Trent is absolutely clueless when Vinicius gets the ball.

Time-wasting already? Small time.

Madrid seem like they're just waiting for us to start throwing the kitchen sink.

It's been... okay. Both teams should likely have scored twice. Too safe with the passing from Milner I think. I'd perhaps be looking to get someone into the 10 position.

Goal before 60th minute and it's on with the introduction of Bobby.

Spineless.

That's never a pen.

Once more the substitutions killed the game. This insistence on playing Nunez out on the left is also infuriating.

Sending on Oxlade towards the end just says everything really.

Don is still quietly confident.

Ref was filthy there. We are all Napoli.

Osimhen is such a beast.

It looked lively in Naples yesterday from the videos I was sent. I'm surprised by how much the Frankfurt fans fancy it. It completely passed my this hooligan element.

Liverpool can concentrate on coming 3rd in the league now.

Aye, you and about 5 other clubs. :moop:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Baz

Liverpool can concentrate on coming 3rd in the league now.

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Only if they play Utd every week.

Bajcetic out until next season.

Might take my boots up to Anfield, I'll probably get a game in midfield.

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:lol:

Lost the next game 6-1 against Blackpool.

The side-eyes :D

Fuck me :D

That England squad lol

That Pellistri yellow is match-fixing territory.

Properly shit first half.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kikó

Properly shit first half.

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As much as I love him, the problem is Weghorst.

I don't think EtH does well away from home.

What a hit that is from Rashford.

It’s Nayim again.

Holy shit. What a finish.

Anyone else's stream of the Arsenal game just disappear because the streaming sites don't seem to have realised it's gone to extra time?

Ramsdale really should have saved that.

Nice height and not too powerful.

Happy for The Saint.

Damn, there was no doubt from whoever took the last pen. His run-up went directly into a celebration with barely a glance to see if it had gone in.

Also get fucked Arsenal Ayylmao

Ramsdale looks like the kid in school who always had a cold.

United should be winning this easily enough now. Roma in the final for NARRATIVE please, with a Woot Weghorst winner.

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What a downfall.

I don't quite get what's happened with him. Like has his head completely dropped out of the game?

Arsenal are a proper embarrassment in Europe. At least proper teams like Man Utd and Chelsea win this competition even if they don’t want to be in it.

Dawned on me last night that city are going to win the treble.

Vieira sacked. Right call I think.

I saw yesterday it had been 4 games since they'd even had a shot on target.
I think he got lost in the ploddy football game.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Arsenal are a proper embarrassment in Europe. At least proper teams like Man Utd and Chelsea win this competition even if they don’t want to be in it.

---

Winning the league would more than offset any European failings, and not having those games will help with that.

It's not even like getting a 1 seed in the Champions League group stage is all that much of a thing now anyway - just ask Ajax who as 1 seed got Liverpool [2] and Napoli [3].

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gray Fox

I saw yesterday it had been 4 games since they'd even had a shot on target.
I think he got lost in the ploddy football game.

---

That stat and ones like it blow my mind. Even a whole game without a shot on target. For a high level team how does not even one player go "oh fuck this" and work the keeper from range?

Two of those games were against City and Liverpool so I can understand the mentality for those. They should've been right after Villa and Brighton, though.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shindig

I don't quite get what's happened with him. Like has his head completely dropped out of the game?

---

It all went wrong when Eriksen left Spurs and he was asked to drop from his "number 10" role into central midfield. He isn't a midfielder. He plays behind the striker, but in a world of front 3's and attacking wingbacks, his position isn't really a thing any more.

That and Fortnite.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by -james-

Vieira sacked. Right call I think.

---

Until they appoint Scott Parker, Frank Lampard or Steven Gerrard anyway.

Tasty CL draw. One of Milan/Inter/Benfica/Napoli in the final.

Chelsea v Madrid / City v Bayern
Inter v Benfica / Napoli v Milan

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Waffdon

Tasty CL draw. One of Milan/Inter/Benfica/Napoli in the final.

Chelsea v Madrid / City v Bayern
Inter v Benfica / Napoli v Milan

---

Napoli vs. anyone would be the coolest final

Sexy af. Was gonna be difficult to plan a title celebratiom day trip to Naples but the CL final date is being done to round off the double and bring down the city :drool:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

Until they appoint Scott Parker, Frank Lampard or Steven Gerrard anyway.

---

Not that it means anything but Hodgson is the early favourite lol. Let the man enjoy his retirement ffs.

Napoli being 2nd favs to win it is good fun. 350/1 at the start of the season.

Sevilla again. Any chance we can play a team outside of Spain?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by -james-

Napoli being 2nd favs to win it is good fun. 350/1 at the start of the season.

---

How are Madrid double the odds of City/Bayern :lol:

Because they've won it 5 times in the last 10 years, without necessarily being the best team? And at the same time neither City nor Bayern are at their usual levels this season it feels like. I don't think Real are twice as likely to win it, but it's not that outrageous a proposition.

Edit: Would appear I had that the other way around.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Waffdon

How are Madrid double the odds of City/Bayern :lol:

---

Because the models have them as worse than both of those teams. The prices before the draw were a perfect mirror of the 538 rankings.

Flights to Seville booked. 😎

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by -james-

Because the models have them as worse than both of those teams. The prices before the draw were a perfect mirror of the 538 rankings.

---

City being the favourites for the CL will never not be funny. They just aren’t going to win it. Bayern are also bang average.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Waffdon

City being the favourites for the CL will never not be funny. They just aren’t going to win it. Bayern are also bang average.

---

Obviously nonsense.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SvN

Sevilla again. Any chance we can play a team outside of Spain?

---

It's enormously boring isn't it. I'd have rathered we'd got literally anybody else in the draw.

https://www.southendunited.co.uk/new...club-statement

£10 each should do it lads. Let's fucking go.

Talk of old Uncle Roy coming back for Palace again.

At 75 he's a mere spring chicken in the world of work.

Roy has recently been seen in central and South America and is expected to be let go from his current role.

Quality pen from Isak. Massive goal from Newcastle anyway, 5 points clear of Liverpool now. Man City and Chelsea away followed by Arsenal at home for Liverpool so that’s them probably out of CL. They’re better off just throwing the season now and avoiding EL and ECL.

:happycry:

Looks like Spurs just bottled a 3-1 lead away to Southampton. Nobody wants 4th place huh?

Also, who the fuck is going down?

Every year I say Wolves. Every year I'm wrong.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gray Fox

Looks like Spurs just bottled a 3-1 lead away to Southampton. Nobody wants 4th place huh?

---

Nope. All in for 3rd.

We really need to learn how to beat the teams down near us, huge games against West Ham, Bournemouth, Palace and Forest coming up. 10 points from those four and well be fine but we've been so bad against the bottom half teams.

Hopefully three goals today will give them some confidence.

Bournemouth look doomed.

Bournemouth fell for one of the classic blunders and appointed the caretaker who did a decent job. I suspect that will come to be their undoing.

Besides, anyone who plays Liverpool at home is guaranteed 3 points.

Having watched Southampton a couple of times recently they don't look like they deserve to be down there. Point deficit and schedule is going to make it a struggle though.

I think Leicester and West Ham will crawl their way out. I thought Leeds were buggered, wasn't expecting them to get four points from the last two fixtures.

Bournemouth, Southampton, Forest for me I think. Palace to get sucked into it as an outside bet.

Could end up being double figures if they want here.

I saw that comment and thought "am I watching the same game here"? Chelsea - Everton, evidently not. Forgot entirely about the FA Cup.

Not that I'm actually watching Chelsea v Everton, I'm not a sadist.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Conte

They're used to it here. Don't play for something important. They don't want to play under pressure. They don't want to play under stress. Tottenham's story is this. 20 years there is the owner & they never won something. Why?

---

Fantastic chimpout.

:D

Started off reading that as he was going to be moaning about Southampton.

Outstanding. :D

He's not wrong, either. :D

Enzo Fernandez and his switch passes :drool:

Very odd watching midfielders not just passing sideways and backwards

Potter getting his goal and bringing on Gallagher to try and hold the lead is the most depressing thing going. Has done it in every match they’ve won in the last 3 games on and have clung on each time. Dropping deep after an hour against Everton at home. Fuck me

Edit: get a lucky penalty to go back to 2-1 up and straight back to sitting in against one of the worst teams in the league if not the worst. Proceeds to bring on 3 defensive subs and go 541. Christ.

That’s dreadful tactics from Potter.

Get him sacked. Absolutely disgraceful stuff from Potter

Say what you will about the coach, but his big strong CB and then goalkeeper should both have stopped that goal.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gray Fox

Say what you will about the coach, but his big strong CB and then goalkeeper should both have stopped that goal.

---

Play with feathers, you get your arse tickled.

Everton are shite, he just have just trusted his £1bn squad to batter them.

View Tweet

Foot-a-ball 'eritage.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gray Fox

Say what you will about the coach, but his big strong CB and then goalkeeper should both have stopped that goal.

---

He’s went 541 with 1 attacker on the pitch against the worst side in the league going forward. He got bailed out with the penalty and double downed on it. He’s just absolutely shite. Randomly drops Mudryk after finally starting last week and doing well enough out of position for some who is going in the summer. Him running in behind with Everton throwing people forward would have been smart but instead he brings on another defender and centre mid to close up shop. Was he this negative at Brighton?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lewis

View Tweet

Foot-a-ball 'eritage.

---

:D this was inevitable. Appointing him was even more baffling than the Mourinho move was.

Who's the next has been in line? Probably Pochettino II.

All that SEETHE :drool:

Surely he's gone now.

For fucks sake Graham. :face:

It’s the history of the Tottenham.

On a set table.

His increasingly desperate attempts to get sacked are quite funny tbh. Like a game of brinkmanship between him and Levy on the severance package.

Not sure I can agree with Ally here, that's clearly just hit his arm, and is clearly a penalty.

Looked like knee at first, but it wasn't.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

His increasingly desperate attempts to get sacked are quite funny tbh. Like a game of brinkmanship between him and Levy on the severance package.

---

That's absolutely what it'll be. Given they're still 4th and he's not long left on his contract anyway I doubt Levy is going to blink.

I think he'll go in the summer. Levy can out-cunt even the best of them and he's paid him to do a job.

Looking at the table, it's just Spurs and Newcastle you'd look at. Brighton do have their games in hand, but still have to play Arsenal, City, Chelsea and Spurs themselves. Their results in those games will most likely be their undoing.

Liverpool aren't a bother unless they get their shit together in that first week back from internationals. A win or two in those big three games and you can talk, but if it's the expected 2 losses and a draw, they're likely too far back.

What will trip teams up is that there doesn't seem to be that many teams that will be on holiday mode in end of season games. Almost every team is directly in a fight to stay up, or a fight for a European spot. You could maybe argue Fulham, Chelsea and Villa are drifting into that no-mans land now.

Gateshead remain 21st in the National League but have two games in hand over the teams above them. Not entirely sure how they've managed to play so few games but I guess the International Stadium doesn't deal with weather.

That and the cup run.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by -james-

Having watched Southampton a couple of times recently they don't look like they deserve to be down there. Point deficit and schedule is going to make it a struggle though.

I think Leicester and West Ham will crawl their way out. I thought Leeds were buggered, wasn't expecting them to get four points from the last two fixtures.

Bournemouth, Southampton, Forest for me I think. Palace to get sucked into it as an outside bet.

---

We had a disastrous run with Nathan Jones in charge, over than that we've not been too awful.

This Sheff UTf vs Blackburn cup tie has been superb. 2-2 in the 82nd minute. Billy Sharp is still out here, doing work.

What a hit to win it.

How on earth is that not a red for the Brighton keeper? Handball and last man... Video replay even showed it outside of the area... What am I missing?

Oh look, Man City get the last Championship side in the semi-finals...

They would probably have rather allocated their draw good fortune to the Champions League, in fairness, where they got a stinker.

The international break is going to be a godsend for United. If the games were still coming thick and fast the season would have wheezed out by Easter like when Ole Gunnar Binman first came in.

You would just let that in at this stage.

That's a pen, Sancho took his time there though.

Should be a pen and a red right?

Mitro SEETHING :harold:

lol what is he doing?

What the fuck is Mitrovic thinking? :D

Still a decent chance the penalty is missed/saved and they'd be 1-0 with 15 minutes to go.

He should get a lengthy ban for that tbh.

What scenes.

Loooool

The response from Mitro and Silva is baffling. Like you said RL, this isnt over and you are still winning but thats a red and a penalty all day.

What was Marco Silva seething at? It's the most blatant red card/penalty ever.

Not seen it but is touching an official a straight red now? Interesting that.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by niko_cee

Not seen it but is touching an official a straight red now? Interesting that.

---

It was pretty aggressive. He also pushed him again even after he'd sent him off which is why I suspect he might be in even hotter water.

The FA are such flannels that he'll get about five games for that. He should have just chinned him and made it worthwhile.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by niko_cee

Not seen it but is touching an official a straight red now? Interesting that.

---

Not if you’re named Fernandes.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by niko_cee

Not seen it but is touching an official a straight red now? Interesting that.

---

As it should be.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Waffdon

Not if you’re named Fernandes.

---

Cry more.

Proper special needs this lad.

Do Armani make Napoli's kit?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by niko_cee

Do Armani make Napoli's kit?

---

Emporio Armani specifically, but yes.

A 1-0 defeat to Fulham at the theatre of dreams is good but a mullering by Brighton in a semi is far better. We move.

"March must score . . ."

Just seen the Fulham reds. FFS :D

Yeah, that's wonderful. Everyone just blew their lids. :D

I can only assume the Mitrovic one will have some games added on too.

I remember Di Canio pushing a ref over, but it was a bit worse than this (because the ref fell over pathetically), but also during a completely different era when refs weren't as protected.

Just checked, and Di Canio got an 11 game ban. Will be interesting to see which way they go.

Bayern losing again today. Dortmund 1 point ahead now with them playing each other in the next game week. Dortmund will probably roll over for them but at least the league is close for once.

Bayern are poor. Nagelsmann bleating about a snitch in the dressing room. :D

Real just been robbed by a silly VAR call :rasta:

Rob Holding going from bald to wearing an alice band is surely the greatest advert for hair plugs ever made.

Just back from Old Trafford. What a way to throw away a game. Absolute minute of chaos.

I don't blame Silva and Mitro too much though. Kavanagh is a fucking woeful referee who constantly makes mistakes against us and it was the same again today up to that point. So while it was a definite handball and red card, it was boiling point. Real shame as we'd been so dominant, probably our best performance of the season up to that point, Palhinha again magnificent.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by igor_balis

I've said it before, but my dad's mate would ask us who the ref was every single game, and regardless of who we said he'd say something along the lines of "FUCK SAKE HE FUCKING HATES THE ALBION". I genuinely don't think Steve Tanner does hate us, mate.

---

...

He's woefully incompetent and it shows in a lot of the games we play when he's the referee. And it was obvious again today - the push on Mitrovic inside the first 2 or 3 minutes was as blatant as they come and he's in a great position to see the foul.

Like I said, the penalty and red were obvious. Just think that's why Silva and Mitro were seething at that moment.

They're seething because the ref decided to not give the penalty until after VAR got involved?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

They're seething because the ref decided to not give the penalty until after VAR got involved?

---

I think it's more at the general trend of decisions not going in our favour all game, and VAR only finally getting involved for a Utd penalty decision.

Silva must have said something too - he went straight to a red card when usually they just give the manager a yellow and tell them to sit down.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by thommo

Just back from Old Trafford. What a way to throw away a game. Absolute minute of chaos.

I don't blame Silva and Mitro too much though. Kavanagh is a fucking woeful referee who constantly makes mistakes against us and it was the same again today up to that point. So while it was a definite handball and red card, it was boiling point. Real shame as we'd been so dominant, probably our best performance of the season up to that point, Palhinha again magnificent.

---

Lol wut. It was a clear red card for deliberately stopping a goal with his hand. Both red cards in response to it were retarded.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by thommo

He's woefully incompetent and it shows in a lot of the games we play when he's the referee. And it was obvious again today - the push on Mitrovic inside the first 2 or 3 minutes was as blatant as they come and he's in a great position to see the foul.

Like I said, the penalty and red were obvious. Just think that's why Silva and Mitro were seething at that moment.

---

:harold:

Didn't I say in both of those posts that it was a clear red card?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by thommo

Didn't I say in both of those posts that it was a clear red card?

---

Whilst trying to justify the insane response from players and manager as a reaction to an FA conspiracy against the mighty Fulham FC, yes.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by thommo

I think it's more at the general trend of decisions not going in our favour all game, and VAR only finally getting involved for a Utd penalty decision.

Silva must have said something too - he went straight to a red card when usually they just give the manager a yellow and tell them to sit down.

---

Apparently Silva kicked/threw a water bottle and it hit the 4th official.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Spikey M

Whilst trying to justify the insane response from players and manager as a reaction to an FA conspiracy against the mighty Fulham FC, yes.

---

You can't justify it, I just completely understand why they've lost their rag. It's a cup quarter final at Old Trafford, you're bound to be wound up tight, and even moreso when a number of decisions haven't gone your way. And just because I'm pretty peeved at the officiating yesterday, it doesn't mean I believe there is some sort of conspiracy - we've been the beneficiaries of soft penalty decisions and red cards a few times this season as well.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by randomlegend

Apparently Silva kicked/threw a water bottle and it hit the 4th official.

---

:facepalm:

Yeah that'll do it. Could have at least have aimed it at Kavanagh.

I'm not sure what decisions were so bad prior to the goal. It was a nothing game in terms of free kicks.

The main one is the push from Shaw on Mitro very early on. Blatant foul and the ref is 10 yards away staring straight at it. Not sure about the other penalty shout (Martinez on Mitro), haven't seen a replay so couldn't tell you what happened from the other end of the ground.

Other than that, it's just the little inconsistencies that build up. Pereira getting booked for his first foul when stopping a counter, Martinez avoiding the yellow for a similar sort of foul. Antony kicking out at Robinson right by the linesman, not a word.

It is 2 of the worst discplined teams going tbf. Honorable mention to Fulham's Portuguese booking machine but the collection of odious cretins with an attitude problem in red will consistently result in such shitshows.

Mitrovic also dived at one point and nothing was given, so guess it evens itself out a bit

I only saw the highlights but there was nothing particularly bad from the ref that I saw.

This stuff happens all the time. Barely a match goes by where either the Southend fans or the away fans don't start a "you don't know what you're doing" chant, off the back of a few decisions going against them. Even uf the decisions were correct. Which they usually are.

Martinez on Mitrovic wasn't a penalty and can't really remember the other ones well enough to have an opinion.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raoul Duke

Mitrovic also dived at one point and nothing was given, so guess it evens itself out a bit

---

:D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kikó

Martinez on Mitrovic wasn't a penalty and can't really remember the other ones well enough to have an opinion.

---

Good man Arsene.

If I speak then I am in trouble.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Frl2kaxW...pg&name=medium

:drool:

Mr Brobbey

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raoul Duke

Mr Brobbey

---

Excellent :D

Palace :lol:

It's not that daft an appointment in the short term. Although I still think Vieira would've kept them up regardless.

The fact that the odds for them to be relegated are shorter now than they were on Saturday, or a week ago, tells you all you need to know.

Parish appears to subscribe to the tired brain thinking of change the manager for the sake of it if results aren't good, whereas he should be subscribing to the new wired brain thinking pioneered by Todd Boehly: keep the manager forever and also force the squad to sign 8 year contracts.

Vieira was riding that diversity wave hard, over a year there and his most notable mark was...? No style, no impact, no loss. All he had was just a quality bit of a recruitment behind him and a lack of the cluelessness of a Lampard.

Barcelona have been told they need to cut yet another €200m in wages by La Liga.

They've also refused to accept the registration of the new contract Gavi signed earlier in the season, which means he reverts to his academy contract, which expires in the summer.

De Jong to United again all summer then :moop:

Whoever gets Araujo is flying, one of the best defenders in the game and only 24.

Farcelona.

They should be lolled out of the sport for this referee business.

Where's all this Barcelona news coming from?

It's all like 2 weeks old lol.

That's what was confusing me and had me wondering if there had been some sort of new appeal or verdict since then.

No, it's just as Spanish law normally works there's continuing leaks of what actually went on.

https://www.theguardian.com/football...ans-toxic-rage

2 toughish games for England so hopefully some meltdown scenes on the horizon.

Beside that, we've finally managed to land a top quality opposition for a friendly in Tehran on Thursday. Russia, baby. God bless the war.

Armenia vs Turkey in Yerevan on Saturday should hopefully lead to some scenes and I'll watch Evan Ferguson announce himself to the international scene but it seems like a brutally dull 2 week international break which is very welcome to switch off.

Considering Spain won't play Gibraltar, Armenia vs Turkey seems like one of those fixtures that should be prohibited.

It's quite incredible how people are still defending him to that degree. There'll be a load of told you so's as well if the next appointment is markedly worse, which will be spectacularly missing the point.

I'm going to the axis Derby on Friday between Germany u21s and Japan u21s. I'll report back on the future of the enemy.

Ah, yes. That famous Berlin-Tokyo axis.

…

Quote:

---

Rome-Berlin Axis was a pact between Italy and Germany, signed in 1936, that linked the two fascist countries in a common foreign policy and military aggression.

---

It's how they got the name.

I didn’t know there were any friendlies any more.

Well we’re as shit as ever. Don’t know what Kelleher is at.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Shindig

It's how they got the name.

---

...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Giggles

Well we’re as shit as ever. Don’t know what Kelleher is at.

---

Cheer up bub. Evan Ferguson and Mikey Johnston are going to win you the lot.

Tough break with that qualifying draw though lol.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Manc

They should be lolled out of the sport for this referee business.

---

Auntie appears to have caught onto this now.

Sounds not at all dodgy.

Not sure why that link doesn't work.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/65051591

Not heard of the BBC referred to as Auntie since the early noughties.

Ben Foster has signed for Wrexham until the end of the season.

Do they have an emergency need for a keeper or did he just fancy a cameo in the show? He seems to live for clicks.

Was it him that had that lol website?

A quick flick at the table says Wrexham are 3 points clear with a game in hand, with Notts County still to play at home. Given there's only 1 auto spot in the league, they're likely just trying to make extra sure.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Spikey M

Was it him that had that lol website?

---

Think that was someone else, but it's annoying me that I can't think who.

https://www.davidstockdale13.co.uk/

That's the one. Still funny. :D

:lol:

:D

So much quality on that site.

Cigar, chessboard, globe, all a bit Fat Tony "I'm a legitimate businessman".

Lots of looking confused at object shots.

It starts out, "I'm looking for singles in my area." before swinging into an Apprentice audition.

there is far more to him than just commanding presence and awesome shot-stopping, that's for sure.

"This is a man who has tasted the very top of the game but was not too proud to go on loan to League Two Stevenage"

Fuck you Stevenage

:lol:

David Stockdale had to have the thinnest skin out of any professional footballer. Don't think a week went by at Fulham without him biting on Twitter to criticism.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by wullie

"This is a man who has tasted the very top of the game but was not too proud to go on loan to League Two Stevenage"

Fuck you Stevenage

---

It's justified tbh, Stevenage is a shithole.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gray Fox

A quick flick at the table says Wrexham are 3 points clear with a game in hand, with Notts County still to play at home. Given there's only 1 auto spot in the league, they're likely just trying to make extra sure.

---

Pretty much that. Wrexham fan on Reddit (so you know it’s reliable) said previous first choice has just come back from a long term injury in Jan and gone down again. Replacement is solid but made silly mistakes so they have done the most logical thing and signed someone who had been retired for 9 month.

I was going to say that Rob Lainton needs putting down if he's suffered another bad injury but it seems he's been the backup this season.

Might want putting down.

https://www.transfermarkt.us/rob-lai.../spieler/65691

Back in the squad in November, gets back in the team in February and already gone again.

A midfield 3 of Bellingham, Phillips and Rice really is a bit depressing, isn’t it? Sideways passing and running for days at least. Kyle Walker in there as well to make sure they’re even more defensively solid.

Phillips starting is ridiculous.

Channel 4 wheeling out James Richardson and Golazzo. Better than anything on the pitch tonight.

Have ye no alternative to Maguire?

He seems to do alright with England.

Would be nice it Tomori would get a shot but Southgate seems oblivious to football outside INGERLAND.

He's alright for England to be fair. Perfectly solid in an old fashioned role and pops up with a goal every now and then. He's only a problem for United because they actually ask him to play football.

Yep, as long as we're crabbing it sideways he does a job.

What the fuck were those anthems.

Nevermind that, who the fuck is Retegui?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Yevrah

Nevermind that, who the fuck is Retegui?

---

Some Argentinian that plays in Argentina but has a Sicilian grandparent they were saying pre match. I think it’s his debut they said too.

I've had a look and I think I'm right in saying he's scored the sum total of four goals in the Argentine top flight. Absolutely bizarre.

Presumably it's just one of those where they're securing him before Argentina do. Not a bad choice for the lad; World Champions or European Champions.

There's absolutely nothing in his career history to suggest Argentina would even want him.

In fairness to Southgate, we look quite good here. Quite offensively set up and dangerous with it. Be interesting to see if we put this team to bed as a result.

Yev, revise your sources, he's tearing it up in Argentina. I appreciate it's odd to reward form like Balogun mind when you are harbouring the sort of old boys club that allows Kalvin Phillps to walk into a team. Bullingdon would be proud.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Yevrah

I've had a look and I think I'm right in saying he's scored the sum total of four goals in the Argentine top flight. Absolutely bizarre.

---

I don’t think his Wiki has been updated properly. He scored over 20 last season and 6 in 8 this season going by Transfermarket

He was called up because Italy have fuck all strikers right now.

Moise Kean was dropped because he got a red card recently for Juventus so Mancini wanted to punish him, Scamacca is there but dogshit and Immobile is injured.

He's also called up a 17 year old who has barely played for Udinese (9 minutes total in 2 sub appearances this year and 22 minutes last year) and was thinking of calling up a 26 year old plying his trade in Romania.

I mean they have one hell of a striker if they were willing to break gammon XI criteria.

Gabagool XI.

Grealish :lol:

Tuchel to Bayern by the sounds of it. There goes any chance of Man City winning the CL again. Lolz.

What in the actual fuck was that?

Jesus Italy are fucking shite. Is this the midfield that ran rings around us in the Euro Final? What's happened?

That penalty decision, although inevitable in the modern age, is such bullshit. The whole concept of a penalty needs to be revisited.

Christ, what a miss.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by niko_cee

Jesus Italy are fucking shite. Is this the midfield that ran rings around us in the Euro Final? What's happened?

That penalty decision, although inevitable in the modern age, is such bullshit. The whole concept of a penalty needs to be revisited.

Christ, what a miss.

---

Their average age outfield is 29 and the only player under 26 is this new bloke they have from Argentina. They must be an absolute mess. Commentators mentioned although 3 Italian teams left in Europe, they only have a combined 7 (I think) Italians.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Waffdon

Tuchel to Bayern by the sounds of it. There goes any chance of Man City winning the CL again. Lolz.

---

The current wally was doomed there as soon as it became clear that he wasn't going to dress properly.

Yev in the mud.

Good job that spastic Maguire is reliable for England.

The Argie :cool:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by niko_cee

Good job that spastic Maguire is reliable for England.

---

Yeah Mahow.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Spikey M

Yev in the mud.

---

Nice finish from the lad and in my defence I assumed someone starting for Italy would have reliable career statistics available.

If we fuck this...

Walker not already been booked?

Absolute dosghit second half performance this, with all the hallmarks of Southgate's tenure on display.

Yev justified. We've absolutely bottled this second half.

Foden? :D

Saka Shirley.

This is how Chelsea fans feel with Potter every week.

Watching Italy try and work their way throw a deep back line is fun viewing.

Shame the football authorities are hellbent on getting rid of the sort of professional shithousing/time-wasting that Waistcoat seems to have beaten into this team.

Can't argue with the result.

Italy looked poor.

Well, we held on so maybe that's progress.

Southgate's game management is laughable.

Didn't see the game but sounds like it's coming home once again. :drool:

Does Luke Shaw need hairplugs? I think if he got on the Rob Holding plan that red card doesn't happen.

I see Hojlund bagged a hat-trick for the Danes. Special talent.

More alleged raping in North London I see.

It's Partey, isn't it? Worst kept secret going.

Seems like Nagelsmann out and Tuchel in, in Munich.

Maybe even today actually.

Italy will struggle to qualify from this group. Presume there's a Nations League back door if they need it, but just not a good side at all.

It is indeed an absolutely rancid Italy side. Shame.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Shindig

Ah, yes. That famous Berlin-Tokyo axis.

---

Dude, Germany, Japan and Italy were the axis of EVIL.

I'm sure Dude was neutral at that time.

I missed Belgium hiring Tedesco. Odd job for him to take on as Belgium prepare to enter another 30 year sleep.

I've been seeing some talk that Everton are in some FFP bother.

Just catching up on this Nagelsmann business:

Quote:

---

Bayern paid 25m euros to RB Leipzig in 2021 to free Nagelsmann from his contract, and they might need to pay another 15m if they would intend to release him before the end of his contract in 2026. For now, Nagelsmann continues to receive his monthly wage until he finds a new club.

---

What the fuck? At 35 he can probably afford a few years on the beach/pistes.

A Spurs appointment and he's well on the way to transcending the sport a la AVB.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

Just catching up on this Nagelsmann business:



What the fuck? At 35 he can probably afford a few years on the beach/pistes.

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Sign him up, Todd.

I would almost pay some of his wages to watch him manage Spurs to a 3-1 loss to Arsenal while he wore one of those ridiculous suits.

I like the idea that him shouting instructions from the touchline made the players think he was a know-it-all. It's up there with Frank de Boer losing the Crystal Palace players because he was better than them in training.

I saw the highlights of Portugal 4-0 Liechtenstein on TV. Not sure whether the worst part was Roberto Martinez belting out the Portuguese anthem beforehand, or Cristiano Ronaldo going absolutely veins-out mental after scoring a penalty that burst through the Liechtenstein keeper's hands to make it 3-0.

What was his free kick like?

Just belted it from inside the D, iirc.

You will all be surprised to learn that Reece James is injured.

The lad spends half his wage on hospital car parking.

A strong looking England U21s dicked an equally strong looking France 4-0 :drool:

Curtis Jones' goal was tasty, I'm guessing his 29 year-old ass qualifies as one of x over-age players.

Is it 21 at the beginning of the qualifying period [or at the start of the year that it's in]? He's only just turned 22.

In other age group news, the [Alex Scott inspired] U20s turned over the Germans the other day as well.

Denmark losing 3-2 to Kazakhstan by conceding 3 in the final 17 minutes is a bit of a mental one.

This hard-hitting Bear Grylls meets Zelenskiy documentary looks very hard-hitting and real.

This seems like the perfect game to play any other defender ahead of Maguire.

England have ridiculously good depth and some of the best younger players in the world coming through and yet somehow gimps like Henderson are getting called up never mind starting games. Southgate is a dinosaur.

Jacob Ramsey is the only other name I can think of to take Hendo's spot. Best younger players in the world? It's all just uninspiring non-elite BLMs.

Offside or not, that gap between Stones and Maguire is far too inviting.

Ukraine looking good here, Zinchenko's Pep education :drool:

This is sending me to sleep.

It's proper bilge. Would love to know the tactical thinking behind two defensive midfielders at home against this shower of shit.

I see Ukraine Fans are allowed political banners. :harold:

We appear to have come alive, that was lovely.

England are really good at scoring a 2nd goal very quickly after their 1st against most teams. Makes it even more weird how negative they are as soon as they score against someone decent or in a big match.

Ukraine should be thrown out of the competition for that effort. Abysmal.

Ukraine Twitter has it at 9-2.

Conte gone.

I'm absolutely shocked that didn't go well. /s

Lol at when everyone was shitting on United for not going for him.

Honestly thought he had already left earlier in the week.

Julia Roberts will be gutted.

All time great pic/headline juxtaposition by the BBC.

'Mutual consent'

:D

McTominay, a bit like McGinn, loves a goal for Scotland.

Lol at Pedro Porro

I’ll be shocked if a Spanish player doesn’t manage to get a Scotland player sent off here

What a plur :drool:

Scotland making hard work of not qualifying so far.

McDONimay :cool:

Norway binning points in Georgia too (assuming the presence of Kvaratshkelia still doesn't require us to take Georgia seriously) means that Scotland's success is now assured.

In all seriousness though, this formation is the shit with the players they have. 2-3 good midfielders, good wing backs, maybe they could use a centre half and a goalscorer, but it's coming together.

Yeah, would be a bit of a fuck up to not qualify now. A grim draw away to Norway should seal it.

Still badly need to replace Hanley and get someone with pace and quality up front. Hopefully Ben Doak turns into dynamite rather quickly. Got Man City’s best Dev squad player too who scored on his Scotland U21 debut.

Why are Argentina hosting Curacao? 5-0 at half time.

#MessiStatPadding

https://www.theguardian.com/football...rview-football

If you can look past him fucking donkeys, he comes across quite well.

I thought he comes across really well. Really hope we hang onto him, super player.

Hervé Renard leaves Saudi Arabia to join France Women. What could possibly go wrong.

So, the Under 20 World Cup that was due to be played in Indonesia in May has just been taken off them by FIFA. This follows an announcement last week by the PSSI (Indonesian FA) that they would not accept being draw alongside Israel (officially they said the draw is delayed due to Bali refusing to host Israel games).

Rumours that Peru, Argentina or fucking Qatar to step in.

Today, I feel Indonesian.

Rodri's seethe. :drool:

Hopefully he has more to come at the weekend.

I have no idea what he’s on about anyway. Spain were the ones feigning injury throughout. Pedro Porro got that worked up he got taken off at half time. Other than dominating in the air for the first 25 mins - before Scotland realised crossing to the big dud up front was the only way they were conceding - they done fuck all.

Having a massive seethe about losing to Scotland basically sums up the superiority complex that pervades everything in Spanish football, and also explains their laughable team selection.

It's hard to describe exactly, but over there they genuinely believe that Spain and Real Madrid deserve to win everything by default, and if they don't then they must have been robbed in some way. It's slightly different to the English superiority complex whereby we think our football culture is the best, but accept facts when it comes to our team losing or being shit.

Their talent pool is well and truly done, it's an end of an era possibly marked by failure to qualify out of this group.

Spain were wank before the tiki taka era, they have just reverted to the mean.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/65128593

:sherlock:

United free from the Qataris :drool:

Load of spoof doing it now once they’re well embedded already.

It's a load of shit once you scratch beneath the surface. As bad as the human rights record may be in Qatar and Saudi Arabia, they wouldn't stop the likes of Apple buying Leicester and they're running sweatshops all over the third world. Billionaires with squeeky clean hands are rare beasts.

They won't let Liverpool or United fall to them lot. Newcastle and so on are by the by.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

United free from the Qataris :drool:

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"Luckily, the FA have determined that Sheikh Jassim was playing golf in Florida the day Qatar did all their human rights violations, and he's a-okay in their book."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ben

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/65128593

:sherlock:

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That sounds like a rewording of the infamous "fit and proper persons test", with the reality being that no one, let alone the Premier League can stop anyone from buying a business.

Just FYI neither Sautdi Arabia or any of the Qatar lot would fail this test.

I'm about half way through the list and so far people who can't own a football club are members of the Taliban, members of Al-Qaeda, members of ISIS, 3 people who are currently serving life sentences in The Hague for War-Crimes in Yugoslavia and people who used to work for Idi Amin.

And I bet they couldn’t even stop Al-Qaeda from buying a football club if they tried.

I finished the list.

Are you part of the North Korean military, the Iranian military, did you build a nuclear power plant in Iran or are you part of the FSB.

Unless you fall into this select group or have been charged with a specific crime in UK courts, which as a state actor you cannot because you have diplomatic immunity.

Go ahead.

Footballs back tomorrow. :drool:
Haaland out :drool:
0-0 here we go! :drool:

Haaland out is a bit of a blow for us. I'm also hearing Diaz is back, just a shame about midfield.

I went to Ho Chi Minh City FC v Ba Ria in the cup tonight. First domestic football for 5 weeks and a massive 250 people turned up. 12m people live in Ho Chi Minh City.

Does Vietnam have a national sport?