PART ONE
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Adamski ‒ I thought he was a cunt for ages, but I think it was because he (probably fairly) called me a dickhead for something once, and in classic #teamsensitive fashion I seethed for about 18 months and read all his posts through a lens of my bitterness. Now I think he's alright. Swear I've not seen him around for a while, but he's pretty funny at times. Deffo lolled at one or two of his posts.
Adra - Don't really know much about the guy but was impressed and infuriated by how quickly he figured out I was a wolf
Andy - Always enjoy reading his posts, even if they're about stuff i don't give a shit about. Good poster.
Bam - He seems barely literate, but I can't help but enjoy the consistency of his posting style. To test my theory I went on his profile, and in just his 7 most recent posts he's managed to call yev "cunt", "wanker", "prick", "manchild", and accused him of wetting the the bed AND shitting his pants. :D Never change, you thick old cunt.
Baz - When people use the word "banter" and the phrase "cheeky chappy", the kind of sour cunts I know IRL immediately groan and assume you're talking about some wanker like Joe Wicks or Dapper Laughs or something. Baz is absolutely ace, but he really is a cheeky chappy with good banter, isn't he? He's consistently a good poster generally, and clearly cares about the place a lot, but it's his mischievous side that really sets him apart from the crowd. There's a touch of beavis and butthead about him, in a good way, and the way he sometimes crosses the line adds to the appeal as far as I'm concerned. The perfect Baz post will illicit some kind of laughing emoji, but also a "fucking hell" or an "oh my god",you know?
Boydy - One of my absolute favourites. Probably my pick for smartest on the board. I think it helps that we have quite a lot of shared perspectives and outlooks on the world (both neurotic dickheads), and completely empathise and relate to the kind of...drifting and underachieving as an adult, and rolled my eyes when people always used to say lol u went oxford why u not lawyer lazy cunt (while, obviously, not saying shit to Lewis for sitting on his mums sofa all day watching hulk hugan videos and writing business secrets of the pharaohs cus he puts less :( emojis in his posts). One of the elite few who I will regularly chat with away from the board (A list name drop), and will genuinely ask the cunt for advice, and we had a sort of tradition for moaning about our terrible tinder dates to each other on fb chat before lockdown ruined that. Top, Top bloke. Though my opinion is slowly shrinking each time he pathetically swerves suggestions of meeting up for a MAD WEEKEND. It'll be fun, I promise.
bruhnaldo ‒ Ahh, bruh is great. I think he's a prime example of how having people with different outlooks and perspectives helps the board. Sometimes his sensitive jars with the prevailing glib, pisstakey tone of the place, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. Appreciate his sincerity and i like seeing someone in America actually passionate about MLS.
Dan ‒ He's so clearly a massive fucking greb, which I like. The kind of guy I'd see when me and my mates have inexplicably gone out in somewhere shit like Leicester, and have gone to some "alternative club" cus we didn't wanna pay £10 to get into some shit charty place. Dan would politely nod and say "yeah!" when I notice his Eddie Guerrero t shirt and spend 5 minutes talking at him about how much I loved 2002-03 smackdown. Enjoy his posts, seems like a nice lad.
Dark Soldier ‒ Excellent bloke, and a great poster. Shame for us that he's not as active these days, but probably not for him, and I definitely don't begrudge the fact he seems a lot happier these days. Funny and interesting generally, and I always read his stuff, but IMO his heart-wrenching stuff about how government policy would directly effect him around the time of the ...Milliband (?) election is some of the absolute best and most moving stuff I've ever read on here. I still think the way he plays FM. winning every single game 8-0 with some tactic where his strikers score 50 goals, while agonizing over his transfer policy is fucking bizarro behaviour, but each to their own.
Disco ‒ Consistently good poster. Has a great, slightly idiosyncratic way of writing which means I enjoy his posts even if they're about something shit like formula one.
Don ‒ Glad he's back, he's one of the best at funny insults. If you took a load of random posts from people and removed the name of the author, Taz is someone you'd DEFINITELY be able to identify, but I think it did get a bit much at times in his previous spells. And I still don't know what that fucking >* thing means.
five time ‒ Always assumed it was a Booker T reference. Don't have much to say, but wanted to include him cus he's really good.
Giggles ‒ He's a weird old bastard, but hugely valuable to the board. As someone who is genuinely a pretentious, pseudy cunt, I'm obviously the polar opposite of his fucking spaghetti is for posers, four four fucking two worldview, but I still generally enjoy his posts. I love the little insights into his life, and I love the contradiction of him suspending his cynical, SIDEWALKS FOR REGULAR WALKING, NOT FANCY WALKING outlook specifically for slow-cooker curries.
IanWebly ‒ Just seems like a lovely man. Consistently interesting poster, and like the little glimpses he shows us of his personal life.
ItalAussie ‒ He's brilliant. I like how always seems slightly removed from the childish bantz of us idiots, but not in an annoying way. Like a cool teacher.
Jeet ‒ I honestly thought he was someone's sock puppet for ages.
Jimmy Floyd ‒ He's easily my ATG favourite poster. He's not the funniest (but he's up there, and is a bit underrated in that regard), but from my perspective he's just the best writer on here by a fucking mile. In a fair world he'd have some general interest column in the Telegraph, or at least, I dunno, get the occasional article published on cricinfo. He clearly cares a lot about this place, but I think his posting style seems quite effortless, and I'd have to edit, re-edit, then just give up and post a stupid youtube video instead if I tried to match something he just typed out without really thinking about it.
I am a massive lefty guardianista wanker, and despite that I still generally think "eh, fair enough" re: his clearly incorrect one-nation conservatism, though there's a deluded side of me that dreams he'll one day wake up and go "oh shit", and then end up a Labour MP by 50. Can't believe I'm fucking sharing this, but I actually had a dream around the last general election where I went into the thread and saw Jimmy had posted something like "you know what, I was wrong all these years, and I'm going to vote Labour". Even if it remains a dream, he's still a top bloke.
John - When people actually visited the forum,having a harsh Patriarchal figure like John might have helped I suppose, to keep idiots in check, but now it's a bit like Rimmer trying to give orders to Lister on Red Dwarf. Less Malcolm Tucker, more half-way between Begbie and one of the Jack Dee clips from Grumpy Old Men that got edited out for being too boring.
Lewis - I basically see Lewis like I see ambiguously right wing American comics like Norm Macdonald, or viral videos of mentally ill people; I know I shouldn't, but I can't stop watching and laughing. I wouldn't say he's my OUTRIGHT 100% definite pick for best poster on here, but if the cunt dropped dead tomorrow this place would be absolutely fucked. The most consistently funny person on here by a mile, and one of the more intelligent. He isn't as smart as he thinks he is, but I think that makes him funnier in a way. I enjoy having people like Lewis around for selfish reasons as well, because if a dickhead like that roasts you flawlessly for years, getting even the occasional thing to land in the other direction is very satisfying.
There's that cliche of a fan of a top, top club sneeringly saying something like"that was like a cup final for you" to a fan of a smaller team who've fluked a 1=0, and I'm happy to admit Lewis that those times in may 2016 and july 2017 or whenever when I said something reasonably funny taking the piss out of you were absolutely like cup finals and i'm wearing the fucking medals now you cunt.
