After 4 weeks back in work after the summer holidays and I've picked up my first cold. Started on Saturday, was gone by Tuesday only to return today with bells on.
Stupid cold :( :thbdn:
How you lot feeling?
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After 4 weeks back in work after the summer holidays and I've picked up my first cold. Started on Saturday, was gone by Tuesday only to return today with bells on.
Stupid cold :( :thbdn:
How you lot feeling?
Are you teaching too Mike? I always get a minor cold or something when I start in a new place, but I'm fucking impenetrable after that as there's no illness bringing me down with the kids bring all possible germs back in to the classroom.
I'm a TA, been ages since I picked anything up. I spent 2 weeks working in Y1 though and looked after a reception child last Friday who was full of a cold.
My mate has had a heart attack in his early 30's. Doesn't smoke / barely drinks etc. He's in intensive care and it's not looking rosy. What a load of shit.
This bileary colic, or whatever, is fucking killing me. Trying to sleep is proving difficult once again as it feels like someone is sticking a cricket bat in and out the right side of my stomach. blood tests tomorrow (why four days after I don't know) and they've sent away for an ultrasound which will take weeka
I've been prescribed glasses :cool:
I strained my medial cruciate ligament on New Year's Day when I was wake-boarding. Which, if you're going to injure yourself, is a pretty great way to do it.
Nonetheless, two weeks of crutches. A week of light activity only. I'm only now allowed back to my normal gym routine. I probably should have taken more, but I was getting antsy.
Yes, I also have the cold. It's only a month since I had one, and there was another a few weeks before that. So this is the third in a short time.
Actifed. :drool:
I'd say you look too thin, but not ill. Your chest is pretty ridiculous.
Jesus. I'd be scared for your life if Lewis did want to scrap with you
TTH meet Lewis and I can have a wrestling match and nothing more. I'd lock him up and give him the mother of all wet willy's.
Square up as if it's finally happening, only to both turn on some sympathetic face figure.
:drool:
"GOOD GOD! THEY WERE IN CAHOOTS ALL ALONG, KING!! SOMEONE STOP THIS."
I won't have to go to court or anything will I?
Ha. Nope but hopefully it involves a collective search on the old forum.
I'm going to go for a fag then decide if I really want to do this. I've taken everything I can from the old depression thread but that only goes to 2013 and I deleted a lot of comments in there.
Came home from work sick :-/
Spent the day watching House on the sofa.
What is going on here? Was there a time vortex between 10:11 and 10:31?
Had my surgery today for my arthritic knee.
Feel fucking old n shit.
Being as I was out stone cold for it, the bit I worried about was the bit I didn't like - getting the drip in. Which apparently proved 'fidgety' for the anaesthetist on this occasion. His nurse pointed to my tattoo when I said I was a bag of nerves about the needle and said 'surely that was worse?', and clearly didn't grasp what I meant when I said that 3 hours of tattoo needles scoring you is nothing like one needle piercing you. But then, well, first time under general was good fun.
But the fucking drip tap is still in my hand now. I've been out of theatre for three hours, had lunch, had 5 coffees, a physio session... Get the fucking thing out if it's not needed for christs sake. It's bloody horrible.
Five coffees after surgery? That seems like a great idea.
Fairly small mugs. Decaf as well. They kept bringing it in to me.
Had a wisdom tooth out earlier. It wasn't fully out, so they had to cut the gum first, take it out, then stitch the gum back up.
I fucking hate the dentist - it was relatively pain free - but I still felt them pulling it out - at one point the dentist literally held my jaw down with his arm and just started yanking at the tooth.
Fucking wrecks, now.
I've had a cold/sore throat for the best part of a week and a half now. I'm still not over it and it's fucking me off.
Maybe it's not a cold and I'm dying. That would fuck me off more.
I've got an appointment on the 15th for the mental health team which is a lot earlier than I was expecting to have to wait so hopefully presenting myself in my current state will be beneficial. I had the results for my bloods come back which were satisfactory according to the woman on the phone so the next step is to send in a stool sample. Hopefully it's just piles or something simple but I'm bricking it. It would be just my luck to finally get a head in life then be struck by a serious condition. FML.
In case there was a problem and they needed to use it again, but since it was a knee op and I assume you're pretty fit and healthy they probably weren't too worried.
Anaesthetic can mess with your bladder function.
Ah ok. Well no complaints here.
I've got to go for more bloods now to test for coeliac disease. :cry:
Out of everything this could be the end of me, almost everything I eat is gluten based.
Googling this just to get some info and this is quite interesting.
"We believe that food allergy is a common cause of mental illness. Allergy to proteins from cows milk, hens eggs and wheat are the three most common problems."
I've got my fourth cold in 2 months at the moment. It's fucking shit, and makes sleeping so difficult.
My mother asked me the same thing actually. I'd be fucking livid and be living on the edge of temptation forever more, constantly wondering if it was worth a nibble on a biscuit or not.
I reckon/hope it's something to do with a wisdom tooth that has emerged recently. My gums have been bleeding the last day or two when I've brushed my teeth as well, so it might be just a dental issue and not actually me coughing up blood and potentially having some life-threatening condition.
Im entering my 2nd cold of the year. Not good.
The Mrs has her 2nd head cold in a fortnight, which I didn't think was possible. Also had bronchitis spanning both.
There's never a good time to have a finger up the ass. :moop: That was today's experience.
I have to wait a while longer for my results to come back, been subscribed a cocktail of vitamins and now need to wait to go have my insides viewed. Top and bottom. Yay!
Further more, the appointment on the 15th will be telling. The referral summary mentions bipolar when the last one didn't so now I'm unsure what to expect.
If I were going for endoscopy I'd be absolutely insistent on sedation - not being put out, they just give you something to make you a bit out of it. Some people get on absolutely fine even with nothing, but some people really don't and I wouldn't want to be without sedation if it turned out I struggled with them.
Best of luck for the (presumably psych) appointment. I guess terms like bipolar sound a bit disconcerting(?) but honestly it'll be much better to get a proper diagnosis and treatment in the end. I've met plenty of people who are really successfully treated for bipolar, even a couple of functioning doctors.
I'm all for a diagnosis tbh RL, it won't faze me whatever it is so long as things start to improve. My biggest worry is they'll just be quick to get you out the way like last time where I don't feel I was listened to unless the mother was there.
As for the endoscopy...I'd rather be sedated too. It's took a week to pluck up the courage for a rogue finger so it can't be any worse, surely? I'm almost convinced we'll discover bad news.
Psychiatry services are so hit and miss :/
I've seen some really quite inspiring work and some pretty awful stuff too, within the space of neighbouring clinic rooms. All the best with it all.
EDIT: We should have the :/ smiley.
From what I can recall the last time I went the man was insistent that I spoke about the 'now' but at that point I'd just started a new job, got a lass on the side, got on the road and wasn't self harming or anything daft so of course it stands to reason I'd be in a good place. He didn't seem to want to listen to the rest and how I get despite that being the problem. I can only go off my memory which isn't the greatest but it was akin to saying I was fine and to present myself again if that changes but then the letter I received last week from the Dr says other stuff.
Just see what's what I guess. I'm calling bipolar but then I'd quite happily accept a diagnosis of prick so long as the support I need is attached to it. I'm aware the next few weeks is going to see some life changing alterations to my life but I'm optimistic about that more than worried.
.....
Well that certainly is controversial.
Our first trans-species member. :drool:
.....
My best mate thinks he's got lymphoma, waiting on test results to confirm. I've read it's one of the most treatable cancers so I can only hope it's been caught early enough.
What a shitter, I've always feared a close friend getting something like this, always half expect it for a grandparent or elderly relative but try to brush the thought aside when it's someone your own age.
I've been experiencing a kind of 'burning' sensation at what feels like round about the bottom of my stomach. Bit worried I might have a stomach ulcer.
Apparently the most sensitive (specific? sensitive? I can't fucking remember) clinical sign for someone having a stomach ulcer is if they can point to the pain with one finger.
Point to where it hurts. Those new contracts suddenly look a lot more generous.
Hmm, I probably can't do that. It's more of a general lower belly type thing. Not really one specific place. It's sore though.
Lewis. :D
I only mentioned that because it's vaguely interesting, it's obviously not something you'd base a decision on.
What's the 'doctor view' on kinesiology, RL? My fiancée's been told this evening that she's 'incredibly intolerant' of wheat. She's seen kinesiologists before and they've told her different things that haven't really made any difference, so I'm a little dubious.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Applied_kinesiology
This what you mean?
Sounds like bollocks, and Wiki sez it's widely regarded as bollocks, so it's probably bollocks.
Yeah that's the one I think. Toby, that's the impression I have, but she's quite convinced of their usefulness. The last one she went to see was giving her a big spiel about how doctors purposefully try to prevent these 'treatments' or whatever from becoming mainstream.
I mean I don't mean to be a dick, but seriously?Quote:
My first encounter with a believer in AK was when a local chiropractor gave a talk about how he diagnosed and treated allergies. He described having patients hold a sealed vial of allergen in one hand while he tested the strength in their other arm.
I don't really get the arguments about "Big Pharma" trying to stop stuff becoming main stream. I mean they are pretty evil, so logically I'd have thought if they could get in on the act of making billions by selling water or whatever they'd be all over it, not trying to suppress it.
You're preaching to the choir mate. I'd paste your replies to her, but she's already annoyed that I'm not convinced it'll help. :D
Sell her some magic beans, CJ.
I'm sure she'd be interested.
Taking steps to sort this arm rash out. Eurgh.
Iv'e fucked my back. Spent most of tonight up a&e. It went whilst I tried to pick up some toilet roll, grim doesn't even cover it. You ever tried wiping your arse with your "other" hand? Wouldn't recommend it. On the plus side been introduced to the delights of tramadol and diazepam. Can't wait to zone out and sleep tonight.
Whats with the arm rash Shindig?
.....
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-35710232
I'm going to live forever.
Giggles will outlast you, as will I.
Went to bed early last night with a bad headache and generally just feeling ill. It's 5:30 AM and I've been awake for about an hour feeling like crap. Now sat on the toilet, pissing brown out my arse. :sick:
Meant to be going out tonight too. Tempted to ring in sick, because I don't think sitting in my car all day will do me any good. I'm never ill. :(
I'd been overseas in Bali for a week. Now, when you go for a week, they don't bother giving you malaria pills, because they're way too expensive for what you'd be needing them for. Instead, they suggest being sensible, using bug spray, sleeping in air-conditioning or mosquito nets, etc. So that's what I did - every sensible precaution to avoid getting the big mosquito-born diseases: particularly malaria, and dengue fever.
So I get home, and a few days later, I pick up a fever (and a bunch of other similar symptoms) which last for three days without any signs of abating. Slightly concerned, I head to the doctor, who rules out malaria based on the fact that I haven't experienced chills. But they do blood tests for dengue, just to be certain. Anyway, a day later, everything starts to abate, and the day after that, my blood tests come back negative. Turns out I just had a particularly nasty flu strain, but at this point, I'm calling it a win.
I've got that annoying cold where I can't regulate my body temperature. I'm either way too hot or shivering and no matter what I'm sweating like a bitch.
Did you know that diarrhoea can be a symptom of the flu?
I didn't until now. :moop:
I've got piles for the second time since Christmas. My arsehole is throbbing like a bastard.
I think my lower back pain is now chronic. It's sore all the time. It's in my left side, my bum cheek is sore. My lower back feels extremely tight all over though. Certain positions feels like someone has a tight noose around my spine and is pulling it as hard as they can. Also if I look down the pain radiates from my neck to my toes. It wakes me up sometimes and is horrendous in the morning.
Got a pretty bad cold. Probably gonna be off sick tomorrow.
Nah, I don't think it's necessary, personally.
http://ddpyoga.com/
This is what I do. Loads of testimonials of people who had chronic back problems who are now in far better shape and usually pain free after doing this for a few months. I guess there are no guarentees depending on your problem but there's no doubt my back is a lot better after doing it for the last 9 months or so.
Plus DDP might give you a call!
I've had to get up to shit brown water 8 times since 9pm :moop:
14 :(
I'm currently suffering with the worst bout of piles I've ever experienced, and I'm no stranger to the condition. If this is how being shagged up the arse feels then a) Gays, I hope you really enjoy the sex because I don't see how it could be worth this, and b) I'm sorry Lauren, I'll never ask again.
I've just texted my boss to say I won't be working tomorrow.
Four day week, can't see me working any of them. :sick:
What's happened?
I've had a full on, close to death, had to write a will just in case, cold all week
Been on strong painkillers for the past fortnight. I can't even wipe my arse my back is that fucked.
Lose the excess, pal. Once the disc goes that's it.
Are the painkillers good? I thought codeine was belting.
I was stretching but that made it worse. Made me think it was a strain. All I've done really is adjusted my sleeping position so I'm not in the foetal as much. It's a conscious effort to sleep straighter as I physically feel my stomach being pushed outwards the way I used to sleep.
Get a foam roller and/or build up your lower back muscles a bit to help fix.
:D if he's in that much pain then how the fuck is he supposed to exercise with a foam roller?
I went to the doctors yesterday because I'm concerned I'm showing symptoms for hypoglycemia. I've got blood tests booked for a couple of weeks.
My blood pressure is 99 over 52 and my pulse is 50.
Is that high or low? I'm on BP tablets but I never get it measured, I should really.
Including those I'm popping 21 pills a day :cool:/:(
Both low. "You could give David Beckham a run for his money" was the doctor's prognosis.
According to my phone my heart rate is 83, so I'll take that as saying it's not too bad as it's in the green bit. I do need get the BP checked that it's not dropped too much though. I was told to stay hydrated when I went on the pills to help stop it dropping too much but I'd say I haven't drank water in 6 weeks.
'Normal' is between 60 and 100 I think, but there are a number of factors.
Don't you do loads of running and stuff though, Scouse? Wouldn't they be quite low if you're very fit?
Yeah that's why mine are low Boydy. They're fine, good in fact. I've had them done a couple of times and the general consensus is that if I was old or overweight or something it'd be a concern, but because I'm fit and healthy they're good.
The blood tests are for possible hypoglycemia, which are separate and I'm having tested in a couple of weeks.
78 for me according to my phone.
Considering I'm criminally unfit that's not too shabby, or the app I downloaded is wrong.
75 with another, my heart is brilliant.
I've read the symptoms and a lot of them ring true for me, and blood tests are something I've been meaning to have for a while.
Occasionally after I've played football and haven't eaten for several hours, I go into a cold sweat, dizzy and need to lie down for fear of passing out. I have something to eat and come round quickly.
Sounds a bit diabetiesey too.
Eat more regularly?
Yeah, surely that's fairly normal for not having eaten in ages and doing exercise?
I can't eat when I'm playing football though. I eat at 9-ish, then football is 11-1 so it can be gone 2 by the time I next eat something. Normal to an extent Boydy, but it could also suggest low blood sugar levels/glucose.
I usually eat four/five small meals a day, as well as snacking in between.
Low blood sugar just means what it says. It's not a disease.
EDIT: That sounds meaner that it's meant to.
I never suggested otherwise.
But what I mean is, if you don't eat for a long time and then do exercise, you will almost certainly have low blood sugar. That's entirely normal physiology.
I'm not explaining what I mean very well, but you're drawing a distinction here:
between low blood sugar and what normally happens, when low blood sugar IS what normally happens.Quote:
Normal to an extent Boydy, but it could also suggest low blood sugar levels/glucose.
Yeah I'm with you, I worded my post badly. I still feel I need checking out though.
Fair enough :)
If I had the NHS I'd be in at the slightest hint of anything so you're dead right. Getting woozy after a bit of running and a few hours not eating couldn't be completely normal anyway. It's not like you're going days.
I always feel like shit if I play sport having missed a meal.
Sneak a banana or something in before you play (oi oi).
Some of my teammates have pre-match bananas but I never feel like it.
Surely anything over 75ish is too high? The idea that someone can have a resting heart rate of 95 and be considered 'normal' seems utterly mental.
I think eyebrows would be raised at 95, but 75-80 isn't that exciting.
I think mine's normally in the 80s, even when I was actually fit.
My phone (I just downloaded some heart rate monitor that involves putting your finger over the camera) says 59. That doesn't seem right considering I'm really unfit.
I walked to the kitchen to get some beer there and now I'm at 97. I'm happy enough with that seeing as I'm grossly unfit.
My back is fucking killing me, so much so that I nearly fainted when brushing the kid's teeth. Calling doctors this morning.
Or not. It's been engaged so far for 12 minutes. Bet when I get through there's no appointments.
Doctors given me some carbocisteine tablets. They do nothing.
Had you hurt it or did it just pop today?
No, it's just been getting progressively worse, even after my magic 'sleep straight' pillow between the legs trick. It seriously hurt this morning though, I've fainted a lot #RL so I know exactly when it's happening and how to avoid. Awful.
The doctor who was useless sent me for an x-ray and gave me a number for the NHS physio department or something. Doubt anything will show up.
Add me to the pile of people with back pain that have no idea what's caused it and no resolution. I'm only 26. Whoopee!
I had severe back pain for about a year. It almost ruined one of my holidays where I was in agony sitting down. I just had to make sure I was smashed by 1pm so the pain was dulled.
Physio helped significantly for me. Turned out to be a muscle in my groin that was damaged and putting extra strain on my back. It's still not 100% but I can get on with my life now. The first guy I went to was fucking hopeless, though. He was convinced it was nerve damage and gave me a talk about I might just have to deal with this. After no improvement in about 6 months, he suggested I see his colleague and I saw improvement after the first session.
Mine is poor enough too as I seemingly have zero core strength and my back is under too much strain. I was told to take up swimming or pilates but fuck that.
It was an NHS physio. Like I said, the first guy was shit and would've never helped. I think I got lucky with the second one.
Love you too.
Who the fuck is going to, or has time to, join a pilates class or learn to swim with a bunch of 6 year olds at this stage in life? Doctors should be offering real solutions.
Wait, you don't know how to swim? :cab:
And you do? Forgive me for having a hard time believing a pile of suet with a beard can swim.
Sometimes the solutions which work require some effort on your part. Life sucks, I know.
Why would I? They invented boats and I can't understand how some people enjoy floating around with a bunch of strangers filth as a hobby.
And anyway, there's no adult lessons around here without having to stump up for a gym membership.
They could pay my wages while I flounce around doing shit like that then. They're paid enough that they can come up with proper fixes like operations and drugs.
No straight male belongs in a fucking pilates class.
There was a bloke at my old gym who sorted chronic back problems with proper training. They used him as an example to try and get other cripples in for a bit, but then the lad who had been training him had a MELTDOWN and left so the initiative fell to bits.
Proper training = LIFTING ?
RL will be eventually getting paid thousands of pounds a night to be 'on call' so he'll be far more willing to take part in such classes.
Yoga could achieve that (maybe). I still don't know what Pilates is.
Read that there is a lot of sexual abuse between those yoga instructors and their followers, so there's that.
Today I was hit by a car. It really hurts.
Closer to the second one in terms of point of impact but not speed. Hit at 30 at a red light by somebody with sun in her eyes. Or on her mobile.
Had the pressure testing done on my leg today. Fucking hell, it was even more unpleasant than it looked like it was going to be. The catheter must have been 17 feet (or 6 inches) long. Horrible.
Also it's completely mental that they insisted on wheeling me in a wheelchair around the hospital in order to run on a treadmill. If I can run I can mooch, lads.
I nearly fainted reading that. Cool.
Coming from a man who spends his days watching people get minced on liveleak.
You really are an enigma.
.....
Got an appointment to get my ears syringed. :drool:
Holy shit that was awesome. A big booger like bit of wax came out, she couldn't even see my ear drum. Feels so good man. :drool:
Right hip area still kinda hurts after 5 weeks and my right knee is scarred for life. Awesome.
I'm phoning the NHS musco-skeletal bollocks and they've got a 2 minute plus message on. :sick:
Appear to have picked up some shocking sunburn in nice.
Both shoulders have some horrible looking yellowy blisters 😖.
Going to nip to a&e tomorrow to get some advice seeing as GPs seem to not be open.
Fuck sake. Wore a t shirt most of the time too, only getting taps off to go into the sea and subsequently dry off.
A&E for a bit of sunburn? You fanny.
Pics for assessment?
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Before and after.
Sounds like an STD. Who'd you suck off?
My stupid arm rash is gone enough that I can feel confident in short sleeves. Meanwhile, the stupid hip niggle persists. Got a letter from the po-po saying the lass that hit me is going in for some Driver Awareness course. Sounds like she was on her mobile after all.
New posts says Giggles made a post in here but it's not here?
Alright just wanted to make sure the forum wasn't MELTING DOWN.
RIP Giggles
Had the first of my two fasciotomies today (you can actually watch some videos of what they do here: http://surgicaltechniques.jbjs.org/content/6/1/e1 if anyone is bothered).
Apparently I was a bit of a nightmare in recovery. When I came round on the ward after I vaguely remembered telling someone to fuck off and being asked not to swear by a nurse so I asked the recovery nurse if I'd been a problem. Apparently kept thrashing around and trying to get out of bed whilst telling them my leg hurt and to fuck off and let me go to sleep :D
It really, really hurt when I came round which she said was probably a result of me kicking everything in sight. Went off once I had some oramorph though (good shit) and isn't too bad now.
Couple of weeks hobbling about on crutches then a long recovery just in time for them to do the other one...
That sunburn post of mine was tragically overlooked.
The sun has never shone on Hull and you know it.
In fairness, foe deserved the sunburn for phrases like getting taps off.
WARNING: big ole cuts.
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Gonna have some quality scars from them. Can't believe how little pain there has been, haven't even needed my crutches. Been up and walking on it since the second day. Taking the codeine + ibuprofen just to make sure but it's all been good so far.
Jesus fuck.
I sprained my ankle pretty bad this afternoon (at footy). It fucking wrecked at the time. I came home and iced it up and rested. I didn't really hurt.
Then I stumbled to the toilet and it absolutely wrecked again.
I'm resting now and it's aching, but not as bad as before. I didn't hear a crack, and I could almost walk after I did it.
Is it likely just a bad sprain? Chances of an actual break?
I have chronic extertional compartment syndrome. Any explanation I try to give will be worse and more confusing than just googling it.
Yeah you'd probably exaggerate it as well.
That sounds like one of those things that's just been made up for rich Americans in the last few years.
Er guys..... my sprained ankle.
People were writing papers on it in the 70s.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2941579/
That's probably the best link on it.
Fuck off, what exercise do you do?Quote:
Chronic exertional compartment syndrome is an exercise-induced muscle and nerve condition that causes pain, swelling and sometimes disability in the affected muscles of your legs or arms.
I was pushing county squad for badminton before I stopped to have this done.
So my sprained ankle has recovered well, I can hobble on it now - and apparently the bruising is to be expected.
https://gyazo.com/44db84a6734f04a3092e021c2a48cb11.png
I sprained my ankle doing a flying kick and booting someone off a bouncy castle when I was 9.
I feel like utter garbage today, mouth is watering like crazy so I suspect I'm about to gain office brownie points by throwing up at work.
Sprained cankle, more like.
I'm a skinny runt, so I promise it's the swelling.
I know.
Triggered.
I've been constipated for a good three weeks now. It is fucking grim.
Laxatives make me go, but I can't go without them and it's never a pleasant experience when I do.
What is the point in laxatives anyway? I feel there should be some underlying cause but I don't think it's any of the obvious ones. My mate had cancer recently and his first symptom was inability to shit because a fuck off tumour was in the way. Wish that would fuck off out of my head.
I think my body is breaking down.
Yesterday I went through stages of my back, right elbow, right ankle and left wrist hurting me all day.
Today it's been my right shoulder.
I'm not constipated though and I appear to have trained myself to shit at 3pm every Tuesday afternoon now.
My crown has just chipped. It's only 2 years old ffs.
I did four poos yesterday.
I've done two today.
I'm a one a day man at best.
I can claim that I'm shitting myself to death too.
Four poos is incredible, think I hit 3 yesterday or at the very least 2.5.
Generally 1ish a day, call it 10 a week.
I did 9 today. They were all the brown rain though :(
That's what happens you despise vegetables.
Or have the flu. The first, and largest, waterfall was in a customers bog.
What constitutes half a poo?
When you snip the loaf.
Usually two for me. Can't sleep if the trunk's full.
I've really hurt my back from carrying a few parcels from my parents' house to my car. :moop:
Could hardly sleep last night, it was that sore, so I've loaded up on paracetamol tonight due to having nothing stronger.
Get it looked at as soon as you cam. Probably just a muscle but really worth getting some work on it and getting a few exercises.
I had a back problem causing me unreal headaches, chest pains, and neck pains for a long time until I got work done. I had just left it and it put me down one day. He found where I'd torn ligaments off my collar bone I never knew about too.
Could be leukaemia too.
I've been coughing a bit for a week. No other symptoms. I claim it's just a cough, but my old man thinks I'm close to death. Who is right?
Who is normally right?
I think I'm dying too. The last few days I've lost all desire for food and today I didn't eat lunch until 5:15, and then only when my mom reminded me to. I feel full after every time I eat and I barely remember to eat lunch.
Maybe I've transcended the physical need for food :cool:
The last few Fridays in work I've felt crap and run down but then fight it off over the weekend.
I think this weekend everything going around at work has finally hit me. I'm currently sat on the toilet coughing a lung up with a sore throats and banging headache.
Vit C and Zinc is good if taken when you first feel a cold coming on.
Raoul Duke reporing in to the 'Dying of man-flu crew' :sick:
My poo and some own brand cold tablets have fixed me for now. Panic over
I nearly fainted in hospital again (lol).
Booked an appointment at the GP for my ankle this morning after going over it on Saturday at football. It feels okay and Google some exercises was the steer in the 35 seconds I had with Dr Kev.
I think I'm dying.
I haven't been able to stop sweating today.
I was even driving at 8am with my windows down.
Currently watching Elementary with my wife but have a cold which has made me partially deaf.
Can't understand what's going on. :(
Is there a new episode?
You know when one nostril's blocked and the other one can't be arsed? That was me at 3am this morning.
Contains MAHOOSIVE pictures of scars:
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Healed up pretty well I think.
EDIT: Does the forum automatically scale down images?
Have you shaved your legs before? I've seen more hair on a pork scratching.
I'm on £8.25 an hour, babes.
Someone's been on the sauce tonight.
The nose is one truly disgusting place. :-\
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfooFAvbvMc
I've always wanted to see inside Mahow's nose.
It looks more like Hammer's latest conquest. After the op, obvs.
I've watched one of those cameras whilst they removed polyps from someones nose. They basically use like a little hoover tube with a masher in the end, so it sucks the polyp tissue in and mashes it up and takes it away.
Was sort of cool, sort of grim.
My step-dad just had a hip replacement. He only had an epidural. That alone gives me the outright boak.
RL were you awake too?
Gonna be hard to provide a reference point without being banned.
Wife's friend showed us her removed gallstones the other stay. She thought i was "weird" because I asked if we should smell them.
Nah put to sleep.
EDIT: This might make you faint magic.
I've seen someone have their finger operated on under local which was a bit surreal. They're sat talking to me whilst the surgeon has the end of their finger literally hanging on just by the skin, chops some bits of bone off and then drills metal rods through their finger tip and down their finger to reattach it.
Urgh actually that was the only time something in theatres has really disgusted me. Most stuff doesn't bother me, but anything going under nails makes me squirm. I was watching the surgeon prep this person's finger (it was numbed at this point) and then without warning he just jabs this tool under their nail and whips it off.
Barf :sick:
Christ, I think I might have fainted.
Actually I'm wrong, the worst thing I've seen in theatres was haemorrhoids being removed.
There's nothing quite like the smell of burning anus at 10 o'clock in the morning.
Felt a bit lethargic on a job today and on the way home the full blown flu/vomiting big reared its head. Longest drive ever and there's some spectacular brown rain on the go now. The car would have needed burnt if it had slipped out on the way.
I watched my own ingrown toenail operation which was local. Was petty cool. I was supposed to have my retinal reattachment surgery under local as well, but I sufficiently shat myself in front of the consultant when he told me that he just said fuck it we'll put you to sleep.
The last bit is incidentally what my deadbeat daddy said when I accidentally recorded over his Television X compilation tape with The Simpsons.
My chronic lower back pain is back. :)
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?sto...90495094392800
Almost fainted watching that. Dislocation of femur? Night.
I got panicky when I pissed blood for a weekend so actual major bother would scare me right off.
I would definitely class pissing blood as 'major bother' in terms of symptoms. It'd scare anyone sane.
I'm wide awake and full of drugs.
The brown rain still won't stop. Though it's yellow now.
I freaked out after pissing pink once. Turns out beetroot does that.
I don't suppose you've been going balls deep in Beetroot, have you?
I found out I was diabetic a few weeks ago, which was shit. Although I've suspected it for a while to be honest, but in classic male fashion I just decided to put off getting tested for ages. As you do. :thbup:
In retrospect this was silly as we have this pretty rare, genetic version of it our family (which my maternal Grandad, Mother and Brother all ended up with) which meant there was always something like a 50% chance I would develop it in my twenties at some point. So I don't really know why I did that. I did sort of mention it the last time I saw a doctor previously, about a year ago, but I didn't really explain it properly. So because I was relatively young and stick thin he just placated me with "nah, you're not middle aged or overweight, you'll be fine", which was good enough for me at the time.
It's not the end of the world or anything. I don't appear to need insulin, thankfully. I'm just on some medication that, in theory, helps the body manage the glucose in the blood better. There's just a bit of an annoying bedding in period at the moment where I seem to be pissing into a cup and/or having a needle stuck in my arm on at least weekly basis so they can keep a track on how it's going.
It's also quite strange finding out you have something that you're never going to get rid of as well. It doesn't scare me particularly, probably because I can see my Mum and Brother leading totally normal lives with it. It's just a bit odd. I've always been one of those people who is lucking in that he can eat whatever he wants without putting any weight on or anything, so putting some actual thought into my diet on a regular basis is a bit of a new one too.
Pretty crappy news, that, but at least you've plenty of experience when it comes to coping with it through everyday life. And at least you're not fat. :thbup:
It feels like I've got a boulder of phlegm in my chest, and once I start coughing there's no stopping me. Hoping night nurse will at least make me well enough to enjoy Christmas Day before it inevitably ruins my eight days off work.
I'm still awful surprised I'm not diabetic yet. It's rife in the family and I've spent my whole life overweight.
I felt a little like that when I got diagnosed with asthma. Both things you can manage but the first thing they did to 14 year-old me was to stuff a leaflet in my face with "40,000 people die of this every year." I also wonder when my metabolism's going to tank. I don't eat badly but I've got a sweet tooth that's not helped with the crap they snack on at work.
I have the most chesty cold I've ever had. Sounds like I've got rubble in my lungs.
Any way to avoid having to pee so often? I used to be able to go for hours but last Sunday I had to stop to pee two times in a four hour ride and then barely made it home before pissing myself. This morning I've gone four times at least ffs. Quite inconvenient.
So you got home and then you pissed yourself?
Nice doing it in the comfort of your own home.
Get your prostate checked. Or ... I dunno, drink less? Although it's usually the mornings that knack my bladder routine up.
Don't really drink that much, or at least not more than I was drinking a few months ago when I didn't have this issue. Isn't it a bit early for prostate issues? :sick:
Maybe. I'm not a doctor.
It's never too early for problems.
Could it be that since it is cold as fuck I sweat less so I need to pee more to make up for it?
Also, I tweaked my hamstring last night in bed whilst also needing a piss and it was tough and go as to whether I'd piss myself from the shock.
Cycling causes bollock problems. Get it checked.
Diabetes.
In all seriousness, this was the intial reason that got me thinking I had it and prompted me to ask for the test. Coupled with the fact that it started to smell a bit weird. Not bad necessarily, just strong. It actually had a weird, "sweet" aroma to it. Sort of like popcorn, is the best way I can describe it.
Shiii. :(
Currently suffering with thrush and wind. Ey up.
I don't remember the last time I had to go to the doctor, as a result I have no idea who my GP is. I've now been referred to 'my GP' by a nurse at the walk in centre, anyone know if I have to go through some laborious registration process before I'll get seen? If it's simple then I'll just go to the nearest one rather than trying to find out where I was last registered.
When I had to do that, I just lied, told them I'd already registered and they shrugged it off.
My right hand feels like it's coming down with some RSI or something. One finger's actually swollen so I ... probably should see someone about that.
It'll be fine, you just need a girlfriend.
I have an ingrown, infected big toe nail. Soaking it as we speak and will lift it and stick some cotton wool under it afterwards. Brutal.
When I first heard about that being a thing I couldn't sleep for days.
Fucking vile.
Either you're a mong who can't cut his toenails, wears his shoes too tight or has a fungal infection.
Freak.
I stubbed it and the nail cracked so I cut it off stupidly which resulted in the infection down the side.
Was is Sandman who posted pics of his post-op toes? Horrendous looking things.
Can I also point out that FUCK YOU MAHOW.
How on earth do you manage to successfully out-freak Mahow?
So for the past 3-4 days my balls have been hurting. Like, not massively painful, but noticeable when I have nothing to distract myself with. It feels like that feeling you get when you've been kicked in the balls but at 1% intensity.
Gonna book a doctor's appointment. Hope I don't have to have them lopped off.
I get random pains now and then, and I've had it in the balls. Sometimes they're quite consistent for a day or two, but I've never felt a lump or anything.
I've not felt any lumps, but still. I had gynecomastia as a kid and they tested for bollock cancer at that time - other than that I've had no scares.
So anyway the wife's Grandad had a massive Ischemic stroke, and lost all feeling of his entire right side, including swallowing. Took the shine off my promotion, the bastard. So instead of celebrating I spent the early evening in a high dependency ward.
Don't worry, my dad had the same stroke with very similar symptoms, and he was able to recover sufficiently to fuck one of the nurses that came to give him his meds and stuff in his sheltered accommodation so he'll probably be alright.
Seriously though, sorry to hear that MJ :(
He's a really unfit, fat 78 year old who's already had a heart bypass so I doubt that.
Probably some deviants disease.
Also, sorry to hear that, Magic. My mam's had a mini-stroke (years ago) and a further scare recently. I feel like her brain's going to be the thing to finish her off. Her epilepsy makes it hard to determine what's a seizure and what isn't. Man, these are shit things to think about. :(
Seemingly at a complete loss for what is actually wrong with my foot my doctor has ordered an x-ray, I'm almost certain he simply doesn't believe that I haven't whacked it or injured it in some way. It's not like that's the kind of thing you just forget about, or indeed lie to your doctor about.
Still, on the upside I've never seen any of my bones before (unless you count that time I tore the skin off my kneecap and thought I could see it) so it should be interesting at least, and with any luck it shows something up because I'm extremely bored of having a stupid gammy foot.
I thought this had subsided after a couple of days soaking for 20 mins in salty water. But it looks to have shifted actually underneath my nail as in a large yellow pool. Tried to burst it last night by squeezing the side and the nail itself but just really hurt my toe.
When people have blood trapped under their nail you can get a pin or the tip of a straightened out paperclip red hot and burn a hole through to release it. No idea if anyone would do the same for that or if it's best left alone.
Apparently it hurts like shit, also.
Maybe just see the gp.
:|
I don't think 'fuck that' quite covers it.
Pussy.
Stuff going wrong with your toes doesn't matter because your toes are right down there. Just ignore them and they'll be fine.
Balls still feeling funny. Got a doctor's appointment booked for next Monday. I'm a bit worried, although Google reckons it probably isn't cancer as that tends to be painless. I reckon it might be Epididymitis
There you go lolson, you big gay.
I'll just get a hacksaw and saw my foot off. How about that? Freaks.
Fine, suffer in pain then you shit-toed mong.
I remember when Darius Vassell read about the drill bit advice but didn't realise you were supposed to take it out the drill. Bloke just drilled a hole in his toe.
I've done it for other people before and revving up the drill always shits them right up.
You monster.
And yet they thanked me afterwards.
When I did a workmates big toe I maintained right up until the last minute that you had to do it with the actual drill. Fair play to him, he was still willing to go through with it.
I bet Fritzl's kids also thanked him afterwards.
I used to cut my nails like a twat, so I became a bit of an expert in staving off these sort of things. You need to cut under the corner of the nail and then dig/pull it all out.
My girlfriend's little sister had blood trapped under her nail and her dad did the red hot pin trick to get it out.
Apparently the screams were quite something.
There's really no way to tell that story without it sounding like something from operation yewtree, but there we are.
Probably burst her hymen.
I'm going to use this thread to full effect because this stupid ankle thing is driving me mad. So far it's in both ankles/feet and has done for a knee, my back, and today my right arm.
It normally all loosens up through the day but mornings can fuck right off.
My balls are fine :cool:
Doctor said it might be a very slight testicular torsion that sorted itself out, or an inflaming of the tubes for some reason. Either way it's gone away over the last couple of days. She said there's a possible chance that I have chlamydia and I gave a urine sample, although I've done gotten laid in 3 months, used a condom, and she says it usually comes on quicker than that.
My left leg's going through a crisis. Originally it felt like I'd bruised it right on the shin. Turns out my shoes (after a month's wear) have decided to grip my foot in such a way it nips the nerve. Odd. On the plus side, my insomnia's shifted. It's been a hell of a month. The plus side of this nerve bollocks is it seems to have fixed the bother in my hip which was the last remnant April's accident. Silver linings, lads.
I got a nose hair trimmer and went at it today.
Nose feels really strange now, especially when I pinch it.
Woke up at 4:30am with a banging headache and running nose. I only got four hours sleep the night before, so there's no excuse for not being able to get back to sleep after less than six hours. Meant to be going out tonight, so think I'll go to the gym and knacker myself out then try and nap this afternoon.
@Magic was right, you gammy fuck. :vomit:
Fucking head cold back as bad as ever after thinking it was gone last Friday. Drugs may be called for.
Can someone explain how a 'head cold' is different from a 'cold'. Is it just how old people say it?
Full on cold would be sore throat and being achey and all. A head cold is just a bunged up nose and that, really. I think. That's how I'd differentiate them anyway.
Oh, so he's just being a pussy.
It's still a cold. It's not like he's claiming he has flu.
My normal routine with there things is the head cold for a few days and about one time in five, it descends into the achey painy flu thing where every end of you flows like a river.
What I have now is more an annoyance than a sickness, especially when you get to the stage where you keep needing to sneeze but don't.
I've got a cold/flu.
Feel like shit AND it's all over.
Fuck you sane?
Sorry just giving Quince a break.
Quimce ffs.
:cool:
The difference that these glasses make makes me think that I've been bowling around for years like a right blindy cunt.
Dweeb.
A lad I went to uni with died today.
A couple of years ago he had a seizure on a ski holiday, found out he had a small tumour on his brain. Seemed like it was all ok (not growing, pretty much benign) until about a year and a bit ago when it seemingly got a bit more aggressive to the point where about 3 weeks ago he was paralysed from the waist down as it spread to his back. Must have kept getting worse over the last few weeks as he was paralysed from the neck down before passing away this morning. He was 27.
Fucking bullshit.
Fucking hell, that sounds horrible.
Service today at the crematorium was a hideous experience.
Good people dying young of a disease outwith their control is shit.
LOL. Had a massage therapy thing today. My leg is in agony. I've got Sciatica and a hamstring strain. £45 an hour and I need 6 more appts roughly. Woift.
He asked me how I strained but I didn't want to tell him it was when I was pounding the wife's patty, pulled out to cum on her face but my boxers were still round my ankles which restricted my movement so when I tensed for the glory shot I pulled it and that made my balls shrivel inside me.
As if your wife still lets you fuck her.
Fuck off is that what happened :D
He probably slipped wanking in the shower.
I swear to God. She was pissed so allowed it.
Edit: probably thought I was someone else.
Had some work done on my back this morning. Feeling it now.
What work?
Crunching and things.
Currently lying in a cold water bath. It's hell but my physio insists and I have no method of localised icing (yet).
5 minutes in total. 2 to go. Horrendous.
I was referred for intolerance testing and apparently it's yeast. That's like a total line drawn under any enjoyment of food, though most people reckon the tests are a complete fad anyway.
Stocked up on gluten free stuff?
Yeast? Does that mean no beer or is it all dead by the time you eat it? Does that matter?
My left knee has developed some inexplicable bruising around it, and the knee cap area is noticeably hotter/spongier than the other one.
Amputation ahoy.
Yeast in your cunt Franny lol
Just had the op I had a year ago on the other leg. Still pretty monged out but feels not too bad.
Driven mad with a toothache. Dentist tomorrow but I'm actually looking forward to having it done. Hopefully he pulls it instead of filling it.
Can't fill. €1200 for a root canal and crown or €100 to get it whipped. Tough one...
I think I might have plantar fasciitis. Anyone had this before?
My heart feels like it’s about tae pop out the day or two after a heavy drinking session. The end is near. I didn’t think I’d make 30, but to not reach 21 would be disappointing.
Maybe ease up on the coke for a bit.
A friend of mine had it. Essentially there are two main things you can get in your heel: that, or a bursting of the (one of the..?) little membranes or fat-sacks or some such within the heel.
Basically if it's slowly crept up on you - it's the formerr, Plantar Fasciitis
If it came upon a sudden impact, i.e. you played football or something and landed on the back of your heel and felt it then and there, then it's the sack or whatever.
I had the latter happen to me once or twice, and it's not so bad - you take it easy for a few weeks, maybe a month and it sorts itself out.
Plantar fasciitis is chronical and much worse, and can take super long to get rid of. It's caused by inflammation of the tendon that runs across the arch of your foot and attaches to the heel. Try stretching that every day a few times (google stretch exercises for it), take some anti-inflammatory stuff once or twice a day like Ibuprofen or Diclofenac for like a week (unless you have a fucked liver I suppose) and try to wear really good, supportive shoes like very soft-sole jogging shoes. Do that for like a week and see if you see any effects on it.
Drink some fucking water man. Have a yoghurt.
Have an avocado.
I've been doing the roll a cold can under your foot exercise/treatment, as well the stairs one. The latter has made me realise how sore my achilles and calf are in that leg. I first felt it a few weeks back but carried on playing football and running. Then one day last week I could barely walk when getting out of bed, and it was bad again after running at the weekend. I guess I'll have to knock running and football on the head for a while, and keep an eye on it.
From the symptoms it definitely seems to be that shittyitis, although those I've spoken to who've had it suggest it's quite painful, and but for one or two episodes it's not been that bad for me.
I have it, I have flat feet (not completely flat, but the arches are way lower than they should be), and years of constant stress have fucked the tendons. It definitely gets a lot worse over time and will eventually become a constant thing so it's best to do something about it right at the beginning. Stretching and get some proper insoles for your shoes with good arch support.
Lower or upper?
Lower #6 he called it. 4 injections and still had to feel every bit of it.
Aye because you've got pressure on the hinge of the jaw too. Upper is miles better as they're pulling from your skull.
The metal of the pliers was horrendous against the tooth nerves too while he was clamping on it and pulling. Could feel him pull the tooth up a bit though and once he was grabbing further down the root it was bearable. Took a while to get to that stage though.
I had one pulled from the bottom of my mouth a couple of years ago too, it was similarly horrendous. I suppose, as much as we make amazing medical advancements in a lot of fields, there's never really going to be a version of that process that doesn't just boil down to "hold still while I forcibly yank this out of your head".
I can remember the dentists assistant being ridiculously attractive, and therefore trying my best (but no doubt failing miserably) to pretend the whole thing didn't bother me one bit. :D
It also resulted in the only hospital trip I've ever had to make in my entire life later that evening too, to get the gum stitched back together because it wouldn't stop bleeding.
:sick:
Just go and get it done if it doesn't stop, honestly. I started to feel fucking lightheaded I was spitting out that much blood.
I assumed they would stitch it there and then after they had pulled it out, but they just sent me on my way with some gauze to hold over it. It was alright for a while and then the blood clot got dislodged (:sick:) and it was all downhill from there.
I’ve got to half at least one tooth extracted soon, as the wisdom tooth has moved and caused it to decay. Not really looking forward to this.
Migraines have been savage the last couple of weeks, sucks dick.
A strange cure.
Aren’t migraines just what pussies call headaches?
Take that as a yes, Idiotmouse.
I have.
They're an absolute bastard.
I'd forgotten how brutal ear infections are. I went to the doctors yesterday, got some antibiotic spray, yet I'm in a worse state today. I'm back at the doctors with an incredibly swollen ear soon to beg for the strongest painkillers available. My ear is so swollen that I'm not sure if the spray would even work.
Codeine is doing fuck all. This is agony. I've taken two doses of 90mg codeine/1500mg paracetamol. I'm already pushing the amount of paracetamol I should take, so I'm tempted to go back to the doctor before I end up topping myself. Is there anything else they can prescribe?
I’m sure there’s loads they can prescribe (tramadol etc) but GP’s are creatures of habit so they just chuck co-codamol at any pain. That said, most of the good stuff is opiate based, so if Co-Codamol isn’t working then I’m not sure what would. Surely Ibuprofen would be better than paracetamol anyway, considering the swelling?
Ibuprofen is far better for swelling, not sure if you can take it with codeine though.
I'd love to slap yer heid.
Codeine is gut rot.
I've been taking ibuprofen as well today and yesterday.
Anyway, housemate came back and rolled a spliff. Pain is gone and I caught some sleep. #LegaliseIt
I got some real good shit lately for the migraines. Can't remember the name though, I've separated them all out of their boxes.
Both my earholes were completely swollen shut last time I got an ear infection. Forcing the little nozzle of the ear drop bottle in was absolute agony.
I wasn't a little bitch about it like Offshore though.
*that's the joke*
I'd knock you out, RL. Lets make no mistake of that.
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
I doubt it.
I'd stick a grand on Offy by KO.
I am a black belt in karate and Mike Tyson is my dad.
Your dad is a rapist?
Apparently so.
RL 5ft 2" 123lbs vs Offy 6ft 4" 230lbs.
What's your bite force in psi RL?
He's in DX too though!
http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb2...ETysonReal.png
:cool2:
I wish I was 123lbs.
The next TTH Meet should be some sort of fighting tournament/Royal Rumble.
My money’s on @el_rhysio
Harold’s last alias before he died :(
Still getting worse. I've booked another appointment for tomorrow, but if they don't give me something hardcore I'll have no choice but to pick up some ket.
I had a friend who would smoke enormous joints when he had a bad cold/flu which always seemed like an awful idea to me. His logic was that it might not make him feel better but it did make him feel less.
The logical conclusion to that is Heroin. Get involved.
My ear canal has closed. The doctor basically told me that yesterday he didn't believe me when I said I was in agony as it didn't look that infected. He reckons the widespread infection has only just begun to surface because it's much worse today. Fucking wanker doctor. Anyway, new antibiotics. If this fails it's hospital.
Try Fentanyl.
Your doctors response to someone lying about being in pain is to prescribe opiates? Christ, he must have every smack head in town on his books.
It's codeine mixed with paracetamol so there's a limit to how many you can take without killing yourself. He doesn't seem like a great doctor, though, you're right.
Just walk it off. Be reyt.
I had a similar thing to Offy, but because I'm not a giant fucking baby I figured it would pass and was best to just take the pain and get over it but it kept on going for several days. Ended up having to go into the Doctor feeling like my head was about to fall off and because I was so manly about it all, the infection spread leading to a perforated ear drum :(
It should repair but I'm never allowed to wear earbuds again.
'Manly' and 'not a giant fucking baby' aren't synonyms for 'huge idiot', you shouldn't use them that way.
There was some crap about the ANTIBIOTIC APOCALYPSE on the [local?] news earlier, and I reckon I've had them twice in my life. Is it just going to be me and the Scotch when all the nerds have been donned by their weedy immune systems?
I barely ever get sick and I put it down to the fact that I don't shove a bunch of medicine down my gob the moment something feels off. I've been to the doctors twice in the last decade. It's got me this far.
This is my second round of anti-biotics that wasn't due to an upcoming surgery but even then I was like eight.
My immune system mate. I'm like Wolverine.
All things considered it's still putting a shift in for him in that film.
Mine is pretty beastly too.
The post-apocalypse. :cool:
Got another ear infection, but this one isn't anywhere near as bad. Feel fine, actually, but maybe that's just because I caught it early.
I just ate a piece of fish that I've since found out is way out of date so I'll be here back in here soon.
Everyone in my house has a cold. Sleepless nights, bins full of snot rags and more arguments than Christmas at Lewis’ mums house.
11 people are off work sick so I’m expecting it to hit me over the weekend. :moop:
Cold update: I am currently pissing out of my arse.
We had Chilli for dinner to ‘clear our noses’. Well, it’s certainly clearing me out.
Woke up yesterday with a cold and my nose is so blocked today that I can't use one of those nasal sprays. It just drips out of my left nostril as I can't breathe in at all.
I feel lousy. I’ve moaned about it in work for two days now to lots of ‘ooh but you’re never off/ill’ comments. If I feel bad in the morning I’m ringing in :-/
Sick day.
I have a chest infection and 10 days of antibiotics. Yay.
I’ve been up all night puking and pissing out of my arse. Fucking Norovirus. I went 30 years without catching it, this is now the second time in 2 years.
My wife and daughter had it from Thursday to Saturday last week, including being showered in puke a good few times by my daughter. Should have known I wouldn’t get away with it.
Never heard of it. I'd that like a flu?
“Stomach Flu” or “Vomiting Virus”.
Be a fantastic detox after the Christmas.
What do you even do to stop that? Just wait it out or load up on anti-biotics?
Wait it out. Antibiotics don’t touch Viruses.
I couldn't see it being life threatening to a 20 something year old, so you'd just drink a fuckton of water and ride the wave of vomit.
Been getting minor heart palpitations as I fall asleep for the last week or so. Last night it was way worse than it's been, kept on waking up feeling like my heart was beating out of my chest, pretty unpleasant.
Woken up today and feel fucking weird. Can't catch my breath.
Went to my GP about the same issue last year, had a chest x-ray and an EKG and all came back fine.
Mildly concerned I'm going to go to bed tonight and not wake up.
Is the rhythm regular or irregular, is your pulse fast?
The vast majority of palpitations are ventricular ectopics, early beats originating from the bottom of the heart - they can feel like a jump/skip followed by a hard beat.
They are mostly benign, so they feel odd but aren't going to harm you and normally don't indicate underlying heart disease.
Lay off caffeine, especially in nasty crap like red bull and monster, but also coffee and tea
I’d probably go back to the Dr if my heart still wasn’t working properly tbh
Lay off the coke.
Yeah I had an issue like that once, turned out I'd smoked too much hash.
I nearly chopped the tip of my index finder and thumb off the other day, and typing is a fucking hassle.
Sounds like you should lay off the hash too.
Don't you horse drugs into you like there's no tomorrow? I'd probably start there.
You're welcome. That'll be €55 please.
Thanks.
I've just had the ol' camera down the throat effort. Have to completely change my lifestyle, can barely touch alcohol (well, lager/cider etc) anymore, cut back on takeaways and shit, shit food. Got way too much acid reflux, but it isn't bringing it up via burping etc, its all accumulating around my larynx and voice box to the point its fucking my lower throat up quite badly.
Bye bye wonderful life, hello darkness.
Said a doctor about my chest pains. She said it's likely stress related, and she's probably right. Chucked me some beta blockers and told me to come back in a month.
Time to dust off the class A's. :rave:
I've got the worst cold with the sorest throat that anyone has ever had in the whole world.
I'm currently drinking a concoction of blackcurrant lemsip, honey and about half a mug of grand marnier to try and soothe it/send me to sleep drunk.
It's actually surprisingly nice.
Well it didn't work. Still awake and in agony.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple_drank
Sounds like you didn't do it right.
Codeine and diazepam on the way :drool:
Got an infected cyst after someone tried popping it at a house party last week. Doctors refusing to pop it - is that normal or is he a massive flange. Dickheed also wanted me taking an STD test.
Toggle Spoiler
You tried popping that? You fucking idiot :D
At what sort of fucking party do people try pop other peoples cysts?
:D
You and your mates are fucking weirdos, Waff.
I wasn’t really self aware and she’s a care worker so thought nothing of it.
I dunno if it’s because of where it is, so clothes always brushing against it, but this is the most uncomfortable pain I think I’ve ever had.
I’ve got a big weekend planned but having second thoughts on drinking now.:D
It’s also got bigger since that photo and went yellow/red. Loving life.
A care worker? Report her to services.
Where is that, like on your hip?
Pop it you coward.
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In between my hip and my cock but the infection has obviously spread either side and is rock solid.
Play it cool, waff.
Think it’s about to explode. There’s a head randomly growing on top which is white/yellow.
Go see a different doctor and get it lanced.
Away to do it myself. I’ll report back.
Film it.
It's a facehugger.
There’s been blood pissing out of me for ten minutes.
Obviously kidding about last night but it has exploded in the shower and it fucking stinks. It also won’t stop bleeding.
Good thing you did as your doctor advised.
Has the bump gone down?
Stick a plaster on it and forget about it. Be reyt.
It’s gone down but it’s still seeping through the plaster at work. They’re trying to get me to go to the Doctors but doubt I’ll get an appointment.
The smell is revolting
At least give us a photo update.
Yeah I want to see a photo too.
Kinda.
https://i.imgur.com/D2eJCuc.jpg
The first aid person at work covered it up. I’ll see if I can take a photo after the doctor takes it off.
Being as irritating as possible is surely the key to being good at debt recovery. Be such an interminable tit that people would rather pay than put up with you.
It's usually the ones with the least power that play that trick, like ones chasing unsecured loans, credit cards and the like. Council tax take more of the quiet, hide in the bushes until the perfect time approach. They'll usually only send out a letter or two before you've got a liability order on your ass.
Nobody needs to let the council tax bailiff into their house, so Waff must be a bit gutted at that. He can walk into people's houses through an unlocked door though, so there's always that.
Your weird cyst looks fucking grim, Waff. Chicks dig scars though.
It’s just a hole now, having peeled the plaster back.
Pics plz
Toggle Spoiler
Just given me stronger antibiotics and sent me fluids to the labs.
i'll let someone else make a witty comment about Hammer and pictures of pustulent, bloody holes
LOVES A GONORRHOEA INFECTED BUMOLE DOES OUR HAMMER HAHAHA
Dirty bastard.
I did think about telling Waff not to take Hammer's advice because he'd just be trying to work into getting him round so he could fuck it, but jokes about Hammer being a dirty boy are a bit old hat.
There's that old urban legend about the person coming into A and E with an infected stoma and it turning out to have an STD cus her boyfriend had been fucking it.
Would you have a go on that @Hammer?
Well, how could i resist?
Waff, get one of your mates to fuck the hole and jizz over It's opening. The medicinal qualities of semen are known to help with cysts and should reduce the swelling and the pain within a couple of hours.
It'd also feel really nice for both of you.
I can't see the appeal with the stoma (I know you're joking, I mean for someone who's actually done it, since they must exist somewhere). Unless you had a cock as thick as a coke can it'd be like fucking a slimy football sock.
That's the sticking point for you? Not that it's essentially fucking an open wound?
This is the worst internet page ever.
@randomlegend I think stomas, like cocks, come in different sizes. If it's too big you can always push the surrounding skin together to make it smaller.
It depends on where the stoma is, of course. I have a friend who is 70 and has one in here neck which she breathes through. Not sure if I'd risk that as she might die of suffocation, and i cant imagine dying of suffocation due to someone fucking the blowhole in your neck being a good way to go.
On the other hand, with a bit of training she may have potential to give amazing head the normal way now that she no longer breathes through her mouth.
The new low?
Trim your pubes you Wildebeest.
Cancer?
It’s half term next week so of course I woke up today with a cold.
Endoscopy Tuesday :(
Top or tail?
Bet he takes it up the arse.
I'm getting knocked out (as the 4 people I know that have had one advised this as essential) so they can go whichever way they like so long as they're finished before I wake.
You're getting put to sleep for a tiny pipe up your arse? If I wasn't on 9 points boyo...
By all accounts it's going down my neck which I'd never stick if I was awake.
FFS Gimphow confused me. Fair enough.
So, Magic was deriding Giggles for wanting to not feel something sliding up his arse, yeah?
Magic is the type of deviant that will let his wife stick a finger or two up him.
Well before her head was turned ofc.
I've had two up me. It's not an overly great feeling.
Two cocks? Lolololol.
I'd heave like fuck. I'm not sure if I'll actually be knocked out, they have the option of 'sedation' which I may be wrongly presuming to be knocked out.
:D
You're fucked.
No, sedation is not knocked out. You'll gag like fuck and then the second they finish it you won't even realise it's happened. It's really weird.
That's what happened with all the ones I've seen anyway.
You alright Giggles?
I'm not going for it so, not unless I'm knocked out. I'll go private.
Sciatica is back with a bang so back on the Amitriptyline every evening. Hate the shit, leaves me feeling like a Zombie until after lunch the next day and I have fuck all appetite. I went to sleep at 8pm and had 10 hours sleep but I feel like I haven’t slept in a month.
Yeah, I’ve come home. Couldn’t focus and was nearly falling asleep at my desk in the end. I’ve just noticed that I’ve been given 10mg, when I’m sure I only had 5mg last time, so that’s probably not helped. Either way, the shit is going in the bin. I’ll medicate with ibuprofen and fucking lump it.
I've had amitriptyline for migraines before and I agree it's fucking awful. I was only on 10mg as well, I'm surprised with the doses some people are on they can even open their eyes at all.
Do you do any stretches/exercises for it? When I had it (albeit quite mild) a chiropractor showed me some nifty little exercises that helped quite a bit. One where you lie on your side/in a foetal position and kick your top leg out was particularly good (that may be a fairly poor explanation).
Someone I work with had 200mg every evening, but also had another tablet in the morning to counteract it. She was taking it for depression though. I am getting the idea that they just throw it at anything that stops you sleeping.
’Oh, Insomnia? Here - this shit will get you more sleep than you know what to do with’
Two people in the same building working through genuine medical conditions must be a first for the state. Don't either of you fancy six months off?
I think I have a yeast infection on my cock.
My old man is sleeping with a CPAP machine due to his sleep apnoea. It sounds like Abe chanting from Abes Odyssey
Had a stomach bug for almost a week. Every time I try eating something it just comes out in a white hot stream of misery accompanied by those bowel cramps that fold you in half.
Proper had enough of it now, fuck's sake.
That from your dodgy slow-cooked eggs?
I thought I was getting that last week when I shat the brown waterfall about ten times in one day. All the fucker did was leave be bunged up to bits and I ended up having to silver bullet my ringpiece. Not something I want to repeat.
White bullet doesn't have the same ring to it. Absolutely fucking magic little boyos though.
http://www.mychemist.com.au/images/p...riginal_CW.jpg
I think I can feel a solid poo brewing for the first time in about 5 days.
https://www.continence.org.au/data/i...tool_chart.gif
#Pray4</=5
Took a drunken fall and have apparently fractured my wrist. What a moron.
Sure that wasn't during an attempt to lift one of those poofy pints you drink? Mincer.
Big words from the man who got his mouth whopped off in a kebab shop and can't piss in public.
Joke's on you, the poofier the beer the more likely it is to not be served as a full pint.
What a fool you've made of yourself.
I ripped one of my big toe nails in half taking some sausage rolls out of the oven yesterday. I wasn't allowed to use masking tape so it's now held in place by a 'Jesus Saves' plaster which was all we had.
No, I somehow managed to kick the back of my heel hard enough to rip the nail right down the middle about 3/4 of the way back to the nail bed. I stood there feeling like a right twat as I pissed blood onto the floor and tried to check if the pastry was done (it wasn't).
What make were the sausage rolls? I hope you haven’t crippled yourself for some Happy Shopper fodder.
Brand? I made them myself.
Sorry Delia.
She wouldn't have put too much pepper in like I did.
Say it’s a Sausage En Crout and has been spiced like the French would. It’s what RL would do.
They don't really do sausage rolls over here. The closest you'll get is a 'Vienne En Cage'
https://www.swissmilk.ch/fileadmin/c...M200712_65.jpg
#Brexit
Phonics need that win and he got it.
Jesus CHRIST they look incredible.
They're like pastry hot dogs. Greggs need to capitalise.
Puff pastry wrapped around a sausage. Make your own rolls and win.
Sausage rolls are shit cold as well. Yeah. I said it.
Pizza too.
Fuck you.
Vienne En Cage sounds like some sort of fetish.
Leave my neck alone you nonce.
Just heard my 31 year old, apparently fit as a fiddle, cousin is recovering from a stroke. Scary biscuits.
When you say fit as a fiddle, do you mean he (she?) was 'into' fitness? Those types seem more prone to strokes and other major heath defects (age relatively), particularly the high intensity training sorts.
She probably just had a turn off all the noxious Tough Mudder bullshit around.
I’d be feeling like a right fat smug cunt about it tbh.
I never heard of it. There's another one that all the twats in my old job used to do so they could post wanky Facebook photos of themselves all mucky, but the name escapes me.
Hell & Back.
Bog Trotter.
Doesn't everyone get the shits in those things?
Hospitals? Maybe in Mexico.
I had a nice sausage roll at Gloucester services on Friday.
No sauce is the correct answer.
None. If I was having crap mini sausage rolls with beans and hash browns (a meal I have roughly once a year), I'd go with brown 100% but this didn't really need it.
I haven't been able to hear anything out of my left ear since Tuesday morning. It initially felt like my ear had popped and I assumed it would sort itself out, but it's only got worse since and I'm now quite concerned. Off to the doctors tomorrow if I can get a cancellation appointment.
Prolly just wax.
When you say you can’t hear out of one ear, do you mean it’s muffled? Or you’re literally deaf? If it’s the latter, don’t fuck about with a GP, go to the Hospital.
Yes.
Yeah I'd definitely be heading to A&E with that one.
My right ears like that. You get used.
Hey that happened to me. Woke up on Wednesday when I was in 2nd year of uni unable to hear anything out of my left ear. Was in the drunk/hungover cycle and I get bad beer fear with my hangovers, and I'm a hypochondriac at the best of times. Would wake up thinking I had a brain tumour, start drinking with the lads and laugh it off as paranoia, etc etc, until the Saturday night when despite being absolutely steaming I had this moment of clarity where I realised I had to just get it sorted out.
Went to Liverpool city centre A&E at fucking 2am on a Saturday, after about 8 pints, and spent 2 hours surrounded by Scousers who'd obviously got their heads kicked in from scraps, until some super effeminate male nurse brought me to his little room. Within 2 minutes of playing around with a pair of pliers and some microscope thingy he informed me "eyyy la, you've obviously got some dickhead mates cus there's a fucking ciggy filter in your ear, kind of fucking prank is that?!", then basically told me to piss off. I was very embarrassed but my hearing has been fine since then.
Or you could be like my dad; he had recurring ear infections and crap hearing in one of his ears for a couple of years until a doctor found a fucking dead fly in there. Similarly, once it was removed his hearing was sorted, though I still have my doubts based on him spending the last few years almost exclusively listening to the Sensational Alex Harvey Band and Public Image LTD. Then again, that could be due to mental derangement cus of his stroke rather than hearing problems.
Ffs igor. :D
Best post of the year
Fluid in my 'eustachian tube', they reckon. Lovely.
I was horribly unwell all of last week, and still not at 100% now. Had the worst diarrhea of my life - literally shit nothing but water since last Monday. Add horrendous stomach cramps to that, plus a fever and general aches that you get when feeling ill, and I was basically in bed for a week.
I'm back to work now and the cramps are almost gone, but I still haven't had a solid shit in over a week.
You're becoming a woman :)
Are all the women you associate with unable to form solid stools or?
Or is that a common side-effect of transitioning?
It sounds like the worst period ever
I have been shitting blood, now you mention it.
You may be suffering from a corruption of the humours actually, you’re gonna want to release some bile pronto
Isn't shitting blood quite serious? You probably want to see a doctor.
The blood has stopped now. It's just horrendous stomach flu.
Oof. I hate summer colds so I can't imagine what nightmares a summer flu would bring.
I have IBS so I shit blood if I'm having a bad bout. I convinced myself I had arse cancer the first time, but I think it's just a tear that's come from excessive straining on the toilet for an hour every day.
Quite frankly he's been shitting frying pans, cocktail sticks and things like that.
I'm missing a concert and smoked brisket tonight as I've to wear a 24hr BP monitor til tomorrow :moop:
Can't wait to get this fucking thing off. That was a long night.
Why have you had to have it on?
I was in getting an ingrown hair looked at the other day and the doc measured my BP. 136/88 which is apparently high (haven't a clue) so she suggested I do a 24hr monitor. They're very cumbersome.
That's a lot more mundane than I was hoping for.
You'll be highly disappointed to hear it was fine over the 24 hours then.
I'm glad you're not dead. :thbup:
What's a CT scan see?
Of what?
Usually a CT head is done to look at the brain, although sometimes it can be too look at injuries to the bones of the skull, the eyes, etc.
With regards to the brain:
Strokes (bleeds or clots), other types of bleeds (they are different membranes between the brain and the skull and you can bleed between any of the layers), tumours, problems with fluid drainage in the brain.
Hope everything is OK.
They are very good for ruling out anything major going on inside your skull. It's basically loads of X-rays which a computer stitches together to give a '3D' image.
Hopefully it's nothing untoward anyway, especially after what happened the cousin I'd mentioned earlier in the thread. Been killed with headaches the past decade or so which have been called migraines (I'm not convinced) but the past month or so along with them I'd the right temple and jaw going crawly, funny vision in right eye, and right side of mouth going numb, with a sore ear and unbalanced-ness(?) too. CT, blood pressure, ECG, stress test all ok though so God knows.
Could still be migraines. They can come with some really weird symptoms. But anyway, I'll let your actual doctors do the diagnosing rather than taking wild stabs at it over the internet.
Yeah I've the consultant again in a month anyway, which the hospital know anyway. I've never really had a migraine that people describe anyway, more random stabs of pain all over my head, but the fact that they've been going on so long and I'm alive is a good sign at least.
He said something about a 'thickening' in my right sinus from the CT could be causing these new things but they've sent the GP a letter anyway.
Just rang in work sick. Ughhhh :(
My arse is painting the town brown today.
I want a dose of the flu to get a few days off.
I'm so tired. I just want to go home and sleep.
I don't think that post is ever more true than at 2.53pm of any working day.
I've been ill for about a month. Went to the doctors today as the first appointment I could get last week when I finally phoned. Need to go back on Thursday for a blood test. I just want my voice back. :moop:
Phoned in again :( ughhh
My wife’s been complaining of a bad cold/almost flu for a few days and I just wrote it off and got annoyed at the amount of snotty tissues in the bin. Woken up today feeling like I could die at any minute. Like I’ve got a cold cos my throat is thickly and my nose is snotty, but I’m also aching all over and feel like I’ve been to some extreme boot camp. Slept like hell because of it and am not looking forward to going to work today. :(
Only been there two months so don’t think I should have a sick day yet.
Yeah. Probably going to get worse tomorrow. Sounds a lot like what I had.
At least by going in today people will see how ill you are.
Indeed. Struggling today but went for a walk for some fresh air and it seemed to do me good, although I couldn't stop shivering. Loaded up on day nurse and Lucozade at the moment, so just about surviving.
Get some honey and add it to your cups of tea. Works miracles for the throat.
Our 3 year old came down with a vomiting virus during the night, which is a massive pain in the cunt. As welcome as Crackling at a mosque with a 5 week old baby and a wife recovering from a c-section (She's not allowed to Hoover or iron, so I'm sure stomach cramps and wretching will be no bother at all :moop:).
I've got a rock solid lump on my right index finger that I've just started to notice. I don't think it's bone. :uhoh:
I had today off with a cold. I say a cold. I don't really get full colds. I just get half a cold where my head is blocked and my body is fine, but it lasts for two weeks. Anyway, the reason I had it off was because I went in yesterday with it and between our office (no natural light, shitty heating air on twenty-odd for the old people, pensioner sat behind me who can do without my germs killing him) and my work reading bollocks I ended up feeling like shit after a couple of hours. Now, given that I have Monday and Tuesday booked off for leave, if I skive again tomorrow will it look like I planned it and MIND GAMED the lot of them?
Yes. But do it anyway.
Get a cert, no excuse not to with the NHS.
What are they going to do? Sack you?
Just do it.
You'll all be glad to hear that I did indeed take today off. :dance:
Why is that called 'dance' on this loser-run board rather than its actual name?
A few months in the public sector and he's ripping off the taxpayer already.
I met my annual targets in four months. They rip me off.
As long as he doesn't put a claim in, he can do what he likes.
We had someone in the other week doing physical checks (blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.) because it's our RIGHT. I was out and about that day, but no thanks mate I'm thirty.
Popped into the GP's to get this lump seen to. He reckons its a ganglion so I'm happy with that. Still feels rock solid but he applied so proper pressure to it and seemed reasonably sure it was fluid rather than something serious.
I have no appetite at all at the moment and it's really pissing me off. My IBS is flaring up but that doesn't usually cause this. I feel tired (but I have an 8 week old, so I would do) and a little gassy, but otherwise fine.
I had a sickness bug between Christmas and New Year last year and barely ate. I want my fucking appetite back.
Got some pretty regular tingling in my left hand pinky and ring fingers. Aligns with some tenderness in my left (inside) elbow area so presuming it's a trapped or irritated ulnar nerve.
Fucking annoying it is too.
Maybe your user name is catching up with you?
In Greece, so I went and got some blood tests off my dad's mate yesterday. 30 euros, cash please mate.
I'm smashing it on the cholesterol/blood sugar and most other things, but apparently my platelet volume (MPV) and some other platelet thing (PCT) are low. Google tells me I have bone cancer or aids. My dad has near enough carbon copy results for those though so I'm holding out hope I'm not at death's door.
I wish I'd had kidneys, liver, the works done though. There's something gratifying about being given a league table for yourself.
When I look at bloods I completely ignore those. No idea what they even mean tbh.
Can anyone rock up and have that done or is it just because you know him? The former is how doctoring needs to be done.
Yeah anyone can rock up and get them. Pop in, you've had blood taken and are out in 5 minutes, and the results are emailed to you within the hour. Pretty swish.
Who interprets the results though?
Sounds like a recipe for needless anxiety but each to their own.
Can I join the 'last two fingers are tingly' club as well? It's my right hand so I'm pretty sure it will be how I'm sitting at my desk.
I get tingly fingers too.
Right index finger when driving and the last two fingers on right (left is affected too now and then) when I'm sleeping. GP said it was a trapped nerve and recommended me to buy some wrist splint thing but it made it worse.
I've got loads of alternative stuff done lately and am trying other things but my only hope is they find and fix whatevers wrong when I drop from whatever it is.
It turns out I can do the splits.
Just went out to the back garden as I realised Amazon delivered something (but didn't leave a note and I just got the email) and ended up slipping on some old tarp by the gate. I went down with the left leg sliding all the way out.
Few cuts and shit on my left wrist and hands which is fine but my leg is in agony.
:lol:
I've definitely pulled a muscle.
Sounds like you can't do the splits.
Burned my thumb cooking a steak :(
Cracking few days.
I love ordering and eating the uber-uber-crazy spicy sauces. The next day shits though, man. You really gotta be next to a toilet all day long because you have NO idea when they’re gonna hit, or how long you’ll be out of commission for.
Temperature drops a few degrees and my body has packed in. FFS.
Rather now than last couple of weeks chief, be thankful.
Just had a fasting blood test and I turned into a right mess just after.
My left ear blocked up, felt instantly hungry, sweat pouring out, faint and then queesy.
In a Waitrose cafe now eating a sandwich and drinking hot chocolate before driving.
Tart.
I've got to be honest, the idea of a sweating, semi-conscious Mahow gorging himself on a sandwich in a cafe is hilarious to me for some reason.
The blood test was fine, it's just that the person taking it was a 'female'.
Pure skin on skin contact.
Blood pressure was still great when it was checked last week.
I think I just didn't drink enough water, about half a litre for 12 hours probably isn't great.
What a don.
I’m not allowed to give blood over here. Foot and mouth innit.
I'm not allowed either because I had CFS.
I have a cold and a chesty cough :(
Went in for my blood test results and largely good.
Blood sugar is brilliant, thyroid normal and cholesterol despite being a little high for my age is great for my weight. He said there was a slight issue on one of my liver tests which shows early stages of fatty liver. They'll have to give me a blood test every year (fuck) to keep an eye on it but if I stick to my diet it should be fine.
So fuck you migraine riddled shit brain, RL. No diabetes.
Simmer down foie gras boy.
"You know what, that's the best blood sugar I've ever seen"
Telling you your cholesterol is bad for your age but 'great' for your weight strikes me as some quality dry trolling.
Yeah, I’d take that as high cholesterol, which is bad.
In more important news... I have a cough and sore throat still. :(
He didn't say it was bad for my age, he said it was a little high.
Hopefully with the changes I've made (I've lost 6.5kg in 3 weeks) it will go down to normal/average for my age regardless of the weight.
If you do not mind me asking, what has prompted that sort of rapid weight loss? Did you just decide to, and ask the doctor for advice, or did they suggest it because of something related?
My Mum and one of her friends bought Saxenda which is a weight loss injection thing which they said was working well. I went to the GP to ask for a prescription but he refused. We then talked about how I felt the weight was a big factor in my mental issues so we started talking about it. He also stated that I could be in line for bariatric surgery which frightened me a bit.
I decided that even though he wouldn't prescribe those injections I would get them (£300 for 3 months which is steep as fuck) and change because I don't want to be left with the choice of diabetes or major surgery to fuck up my stomach so I'm full after a yoghurt.
Cut out all bread (how I miss thee), save my carbs for dinner (potatoes or rice) and have cut down on portion sizes. Obviously (well hopefully considering how much I spent) the injections are helping but the change in diet is massive for me.
Get the surgery man.
I've got some sort of bug.
My stomach has been doing flips the last few days, I've had barely any appetite and my burps have been tasting like a combo of eggs/popcorn. Had the shits last night and woke up at 8:30 for another round followed by some vomiting.
Great for weight loss though. Keep it up.
Happened again but I think maltitol is the culprit. I've been eating low carb bars with it for the occasional snack and I've got every possible side effect.
Cool Avatar again m8.
Protein bars have a laxative effect after two/three. How many are you eating?
A bar and a bottle of Coke. What a life.
1-2 a day.
Binning them now but need to find another good pick up and go snack.
Any suggestions that wont make me shit out my insides?
A piece of fruit.
Sorting the rest of your life out.
Don't eat snacks.
My fucking sweet lord I am really struggling. I've had like a flu thing for nearly 8 days, horrific cough, chest pains, difficulty breathing, vertigo, sick, diarrhoea, fever, headaches.
I'm kind of better now but my chest is still imploding. Do I have pneumonia?
Do you eat maltitol bars?
Who did what now? Is that some American bollocks like Gatoraid?
@Giggles you still getting mad migraines
@Sir Andy Mahowry, I'm proud that you're tackling weight loss. I am sure it feels very hard sometimes, but you'll persevere.
https://youtu.be/CP4mJ8CsDKI
Not so much since I went gluten free. About 10-20% of what I'd normally have been getting.
There's still some 'GF' stuff that will do a job on me (other grain substitutes mainly) but I'm slowly getting the hang of it. My overall diet still isn't wonderful, you can get lots of gluten free rubbish, but I've lost over a stone and a half just because there's fuck all I can eat when out on the road so it stops me buying sausages and breaded chicken baguettes every day. Cut out all artificial sweetener too which probably helps and supposedly exercise is another step that's a huge help but I can't bring myself to do that.
.
Nice to see others suffering. I'm six days in with the flu and no better. Dragged myself to work after four days off. Mistake!
@Giggles
Holy shit. That's incredible. I'm also going to pretend you drink more water now too, which is the equivalent of gluten free liquids to coffee. You must be feeling great.
A stone and a half too. :cool:
Giggs, what is actually up? I get bad headaches and Gluten allergies, but is there an underlying issue linking it all?
Glad you're doing well either way.
€240 an hour? Do you get a free blowjob at every session?
I'll waste your time for €30.
Plus a free blowjob at every session.
He'll also throw in herpes for free.
You wont get a better deal, Giggles.
Massive chest infection. :(
My left side of my face is in bits. Ear and throat have been like glass for weeks but now my gums and the back of my mouth have joined in the last few days. It’s pure red but other than that my gums look normal.
Withdrawals from coke.
Well, obviously. I’m just pure skint at the minute and they didn’t let me pay the bill up last time so a bit apprehensive of getting another £200+ bill.
Bill? You live in the UK don't you?
Also I've diagnosed myself with mastoiditis, which I definitely don't have.
:D shit, I thought you meant the word bill was an Americanism or something. Ignore me.
Check(sic) is the Americanism, isn't it?
Either works.
Check in restaurants, bill everywhere else I think.
Anyway, yeah. Who exactly was Waff paying when he has the NHS?
The dentist.
Lmao didn’t even realise I didn’t say toothache. Fairly sure it’s my wisdom teeth.
It's not North America, mate.
Dental plan.
A dental plan would be included within an insurance policy/scheme/who gives a fuck, which I imagine is what Waff needs to cover a £200 dental expense without dipping into his own pocket.
It's Scotland. Just drink Scotch until it goes away.
The drink didn’t even help when I was away at the weekend. I’m going tomorrow as this shit is unbearable at the minute.
Just woke up needing to vomit and having squirty shit again.
Felt a bit of nausea when trying to sleep but no stomach cramps. Not sure what's causing it as I have felt better since I stopped the bars.
This flu/chest infection has destroyed me. It has also given my mental health a complete shoeing.
3 fucking weeks I haven't been able to do anything.
Exercise, socialising and connecting were a huge part of my recovery and treatment plan. I'm climbing the walls.
Ok it's now full blown bacterial pneumonia.
Just end it all.
I bet she poisoned you.
My arrogance with regards to my immune system has been crushed.
You've been sick and been in all the time and yet you've barely been posting?
Good point. I should change my vote.
I really can't be fucked. All I've done is make a herculean effort to make appointments at work and then vegetate watching telly. Its horrific.
What a terrible time to lose form.
I received a blow to the head playing football earlier and have what I assume is a minor concussion.
It's fucking awful. I imagine a proper brain injury is worse than hell.
Has It aFectED your VIsIon?
Are you attempting to blame your rimming of a stranger on poor depth perception?
I once smashed some nerd's glasses - and I mean they exploded like something out of a cartoon - with a fucking prime Adriano-like rocket and it's probably the best thing I've ever done on a football pitch.
@Magic?
I knocked another kid out with a shot to the face playing football when I was about 13, I'd forgotten that.
I haven't played football in about six years. I bet I'm ace now. When is the next kickabout?
Dibs on being in goals.
Club Lewis vs The Group, match abandoned when Taz gets absolutely smudged up the barriers by Offshore and Simon refuses to be subbed on because 'Who's gonna manage us?'
Mert turns up with a basketball.
Big night out and I still feel rotten four days later. Actually developing a full cold. FML.
Luca could get us some kits like in Mean Machine.
I'll hold one of your hands as you walk on.
I'll make one bursting run/dribble in the first ten minutes resulting in a goal, then spend the rest of the game trying to get my breath back.
Or I can do half time oranges.
You're probably the only one qualified to be a physio. Quincy just does forensics so he'll wind up on VAR duties.
I've got paronychia on two of the toes on my left foot and it's fucking agony.
Eurgh. My ganglion cyst is no longer a concern. Apparently I popped it a few weeks back and it hasn't reformed. And my contact lenses are back to staying in for proper time periods. I must've had them in so little before that my eyes changed shape. That's probably a thing.
Ive discovered right in my groin area a wound that is really painful. Could be an STI. When i touch it with a cotton bud, there is blood
What the fuck does that mean?
You've been chucking it up prossies.
Jesus christ. What sort of STI causes a wound? Syphilis? You been slaying with the homeless?
Chlamydia. Should've rubbered up. And I don't mean tyres.
I went to the clinic and they took some swamps and all that stuff. Having watched Chernobyl and saw what radioation posinging does to your skin, I have a similar look to a pea sized area of my groin.
Swamps :D
Swabs.
The do a lot of posinging.
Poisinging the swamps.
https://www.calvertjournal.com/artic...own-Kryvyi-Rih
I'm surprised I didn't come back with anything tbh.
Life is at risk. :D
Had your nob fallen off yet?
I can’t stop pooing, and it comes out of me like a jet wash. Actually the “can’t stop” is a lie, thankfully. It’s more that I always need to poo, but thankfully I manage to contain it until I decide to go. Still unpleasant though.
I'm sure you'd make a decent tranny.
Watch your mouth
I hope you don't go down the pub or anything.
Cleared up but the two affected toenails have looked like they're going to come off and the other night my 4th toe's toenail came off. Doesn't hurt or anything but it feels weird.
Big toe has a new nail growing in the bottom left corner which is pushing the old one away.
Hows your cock Sincere?
*Hole/Nub/Void/Cavity.
I can't wear contact lenses any more. I can get a lens in individually for 3-4 hours. Together, they immediately water up and my whole face goes into a reaction.
Was helping my Cousin clear out our attic and as we were almost finished his ladder (one of those folding ones) decided to try and go horizontal.
Took my right ankle and for a moment I thought it was broken. Felt like I was going to vomit and that I was going to faint.
Still in a lot of pain but I've got ice on it. Don't think there's any real damage as I can move it.
Yay, I got my lenses in for a few hours. Progress. Still have a nasty reaction on the left one but the right one's been fine. I think it's hayfever. Pollen or something must've gotten on it. I've never been bothered by it before but then we don't tend to have proper summers.
I tried contact lenses a couple of months ago and completely wimped out during the trial period, and just ended up cancelling the follow-up appointment to get them properly. I was absolutely pathetic at getting them in and out. I'm still disappointed in myself now over that actually, I should really try again. I've still got about five of the trial pairs left.
It's something you get used to. I'd love to get back into some proper hours with them. My vision's better with them and I just prefer how I look without my coke bottle glasses. One of my colleagues is looking into contact lens implants. That's exactly how it sounds.
Instead of “contact lens implants” just get laser eye surgery. I’ll send you a PM If you want, the Czech place I got it done at will do it for $900, you can get it done again for free (i probably mentioned this earlier in this thread), and they also set you up with a hotel. It’s 100% worth it
It does seem weird how that's an alternative to laser eye surgery. You're still getting your eye cut up. It's not my cup of tea.
I couldn't recommend ICL enough. :nod:
I've had to come home from work with an absolute cunt of a headache. Driving was probably not wise, but I didn't wrap my car around a lamppost, somehow.
I think I've been migrained for the first time.
I have my first ear infection at an adult age, and I want to blow my brains out. Now I get why kids with it scream like they do. Can't eat or sleep properly, and need to down painkillers like they're tic-tacs.
I woke up with what I assume must be an inflamed achilles tendon. I felt nagging pain in it when going to the gym yesterday (which happens, I think I strained it once and it's always been just a tad bit sore since then), but now out of nowhere over the night the whole tendon is insanely sore and I'm actually struggling to walk. What the fuck.
Once my HIV and Trichomoniasis test come back clear. I have decided i am going to give blood. It appears there is a shortage of donors as black people, just refuse to give blood and the black people who are waiting for blood for certain issues about problems, such as a sickle cell have to wait for a match for a long time.
In that case, get a hepatitis test as well.
If had unprotected sex with the beast asking me for drinks tonight at the bar I would be dead within a week.
Gave my first blood donation last week and I'm a blood type B+. Looking to go all out now and donate my seed and become an organ donor
Things have got weird. The NHS Blood Suckers have called me two times today to book an appointment for my next session. Ive told them im not interested, but now im nervous.
Could be a rare type. Or they're always on the lookout for black donors.
They’re always crying out for donors here but it’s almost impossible to be accepted as a donor.
I signed up to give blood a couple of months ago now but never actually booked in for an appointment to do it (it was weirdly hard work to get a slot for them to actually take it locally, but this is a poor excuse, they have a dedicated place in Leeds where I could give it pretty much whenever) and they've rung me five or six times since then, presumably to get me to finalise it. I haven't answered, I just know it's them because I missed the call first time and didn't recognise the number, so I looked it up online. I should really sort that out. This has reminded me and now I feel bad.
I said I might be interested and they rang me about 8 times over the course of a few months.
Never given blood though as I hate needles.
I'm never allowed to cus I had ME.
I was surprised to learn recently that practically everybody over seventeen (or whatever it was) can't give blood in other countries because us nineties beef-eating mugs are all ticking mad cow disease time bombs.
I was turned down because I lived in the UK but the list of reasons you can't it's absolutely maybe.
Odd display of sympathy, but blowjobs are blowjobs I guess.
It feels like I've had three colds in about a month. Fucking resilient little cunt this year. Thursday I was on top of the world, then Friday I woke up with a full-on cold out of nowhere.
Death really does sound appealing sometimes
I have the worst cold I've had in about 10 years. I'm a wreck. Work can fuck off, but I've 2 screaming kids at home so my head is going to be in ruins all day anyway. Fuck sake.
Off work sick. Ughhh :(
Vomiting or other issues?
Other issues. I haven’t vomited in years thankfully.
I’m also off sick. If I so much as think about trumping, I’ve gotta leg it to the toilet. Have just had a near-five hour nap, but still feel like death.
Felt a click in my lower back at the gym today and now it's gone a bit numb and generally doesn't feel right at all. Reckon it's a pinched nerve but I'm fairly terrified I'm going to wake up in the morning sans the use of my legs.
How does one 'get off the gear', I may have a slight problem.
Just stop doing it mate lmao.
If you're doing it with certain people then cut contact with them, if you're doing it on your own get a real hobby instead.
I've had a terrible cold since Sunday. It ruined my last night in Dublin and made the flight and train back feel horrendous. I felt better when I did 24 hours to Melbourne.
Some expensive places in Temple Bar that nearly bankrupted me. I think one was called Buskers.
Temple Bar is best avoided but Buskers is about the best spot in it if you’re there (or the Porterhouse). Mad expensive kip.
I think it's where we spent most of our time over the weekend, especially pretty much all day Saturday. The live music was hit and miss, but some of the "hits" were belting.
So I was off work on Monday and Tuesday with a combination of diarrhoea and feeling like I’d been beaten up. Poo went back to normal early on Tuesday so I went to work on Wednesday (plus my mother in law comes round on Wednesdays as childcare and I can’t be doing with her) and actually felt okay in work. Then at about 9 last night I started feeling worse than ever and was sick at about 9:30. Woke up feeling awful again. I don’t feel sick though, and my poos are regular, so at least there’s that.
It’s gonna count as two separate sickness absences though isn’t it? :moop:
Can you game it by turning up and leaving?
If you haven't had your 'back to work' then I'd try to blag it.
Do you have a desk job? Just go on in so.
I had a cold about 2 months ago and with it developed something called "upper airway resistance syndrome" which meant I couldn't sleep barely at all (was literally like being tortured, every time I was dropping off I'd suddenly breathe deeply/heavily and wake up). I was legitimately suicidal at one point. Hasn't resolved with resolution of the cold so I'm now on CPAP at night (which has fixed my morning migraines...) but often needing zopiclone to actually get decent sleep. It feels like there's something physically obstructing the back of my nose which seems to be the route of all the problems. I also just have generally crappy and congested nasal airways.
Awaiting sleep clinic and ENT appointments which will probably happen some time after the next election.
Like ffs if this was going to happen to anyone...
Been laying on the floor in my office for the past hour or so, feeling like dead. I had the shits at night and vomited earlier. Hope I feel better in a couple hours because I have football.
I am also freezing even though the heater is at full blast and I am wearing my coat like that weirdo who didn't remove his for a full week.
And not a very good one if he can't sort himself out.
Got the ENT appointment through today. Fucking March 18th.
Feel like I'm getting a cold. What a cunt.
Acid reflux, blood in stool, irregular at bowel movements (perhaps 3 times a week), down to 10stone 7lbs, continually bloated, pains in my side, tiredness/fatigue and it's been that way for a good six months or so. The last time I went to doctors they gave me a kit that even the woman in the chemist didn't really understand and neither did I, I basically had to breathe down a straw into a tube, then drink water with some powder that came with the kit and then I think I had to blow into a straw back into a tube or something. It confused me so I fucked it off.
I got grief in my last job for barely eating and maybe 3 meals a week at best but I put the loss of apetite down to spliting from Banana back in May or whenever. I figured I'd just let nature take its call and see what happens. The last ten days on the spin I have eaten a full on meal every day, mostly rice and fish, knocking the weed on the head as I have done as I was going through an ounce every 7-10 days, dreams are now very real and very fucked but my cloudy mind is clearing somewhat. Maybe in New Year I'll go get checked out again but I find it so pointless as I feel you just get fobbed off. Waiting a good 2/3 weeks for an appointment always puts me off.
Give me your cold any day.
I don't see how it would help but I'll send you some sputum if you insist.
I know I really should but something stops me and I know it might sound a little sick to say but I couldn't really care less anymore. I'm not suicidal but I'll be glad when this life is over so if something was serious inside me (and I kind of think there is that possibility given it seems to be more noticable now than when I last went but never followed up), then good, it'll finish what I couldn't :D. I just try to do as much as I can whilst I float through it, make amends for past mistakes, focus on the future whilst living in the present and accept my flaws for what they are. I think I lost all faith after the mental health business, it took years to pluck up the courage to go and seek professional help as I was continually told on here, eventually did it, got a bullshit diagnosis and then told that because I function to a certain degree there isn't much help there.
When my relationship with Banana started to sink it was as much her actions as it was my mental health, a familiar pattern emerged but the way I responded in the aftermath was much different to normal. I think in all honesty I just can't be assed anymore but not enough to try and end life or blame others, find a root cause or whatever. It is what it is. I'm just a catalogue of errors but I turn a page and make small steps forward each time so I'll keep that going. I'll try and continue not smoking weed, I'll try to continue eating better and my new year plan is to try and quit smoking tobacco and make exercise a regular thing but it's one thing saying it, another doing it.
The important thing for me personally right now is to wait until beginning of the year so I can start my new job as I find keeping myself busy helps and if I can add a few more healthier things then fantastic. I think as a whole this year has probably been my best one in a long time because instead of one step forward and two steps back, I've made a step and stayed there, minus one or two incidents it's been like that since 2017 actually. If I could concentrate, remember more and be a little more consistent then that would help me no end but the only way to do that is to keep trying. I do try to listen more to others and take what they say on board as predominately, the majority can't be wrong and me be right but putting it into practise isn't always as easy as that. I think I'm much more aware of how I tick so I do what I can.
At the risk of this coming across as another mental Tim post though, I'll leave it there.
In one breath you're saying you basically hope you die and in the next you're saying you want to do healthier things and quit smoking.
Get to the GP mate seriously.
I wouldn't say I hope to die, more that I couldn't really care either way. I won't end it myself so the only option is to live it and do as much as you can do and see how it pans out.
Maybe that sounds fucked and it probably is but I say it with a pinch of salt. I think I'm just tired of life so if it were to end then at least I'd get to sleep in peace. I wish I never said nowt now though. :moo: FML. :D
Just weighed myself for the first time in 10 years. Gone from 50kg to 70. Disgusting. Gym time.
Just looked, that’s 11 stone. That’s fucking mental. I used to be a single digit man. How much effort is losing two stone?
No man should be single digits unless they’re 12 or Ronnie Corbett.
BMI says 11 is bang in the middle of healthy but sounds like lies to me. They used to say I was unhealthily thin before and it’s time to get back to it.
Just get back on the cocaine.
50kg is a Chinese fucking gymnast.
Currently sat shivering in a t-shirt, fleece and dressing gown with (Daddy Pig) PJ bottoms on and a blanket over my lap. The thermostat is set to 25c as well. Pretty sure I'm dying.
Merry Christmas.
Im in perfect health apart from a cooked mind and a dicky left ankle. I dislocated it when I was 14 running down some steps at school and it has always been a pain in the arse for rolling it. Now days 15 000 plus steps in a day blows it up and aches like a bastard.
Now I've no appetite and the shits. :')
I'm pretty sure it's the flu. I've weak legs, throbbing muscles, cold sweats, the works. The kids have both been vaccinated, so hopefully it's the right strain.
Turns out our boy was too young to have the vaccine so now both him and my wife have it too. My little girl seems ok. Small blessings.
You forget how awful the flu is until you have it. Having to look after young children whilst having it should have been used as a punishment in the Gulags.
Two or three years ago we had the whole family having the flu over Christmas. It's almost comical. I remember sitting down to watch The Revenant on Christmas evening and thinking Leo was making a big fuss about nothing compared to how I was feeling.
I've lost 5kg in a week. M8.
Lick my face.
Started getting weird bright spots in my vision yesterday evening while exercising. Like what you get if you look directly at a bright light. Still hadn't gone away this morning, rung NHS 24 and they've told me to go to A & E. What a waste of an afternoon this is going to be.
Yeah I’ve had that before. Went away after I ignored it.
Think it was gone by the time I woke up the next day though so a bit odd yours is still there.
This will sound like an odd one but...does anyone ever get what feels like a muscle spasm in their gooch now and again?
I've had this for as long as I can remember but never really thought anything of it. No pain or any others issues, that I'm aware of.
100% Dick cancer.
RIP.
Well my Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year which did suddenly make me more aware of it when I noticed it again.
That being said, I really do mean I've had it for as long as I can remember so if it was going to be anything serious it'd have happened by now.
Same. My dad's had his prostate removed from cancer as well. The day he went in for surgery felt like the longest day of my life. It does make you watch for any small change in behaviour.
If you want to keep your eyeballs when you die
https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/uk-...aw-in-england/
Why would I want to keep my eyeballs after I die
An opt-out system is the right thing.
Just in case they figure out how to bring you back to life. If some kid from uganda has your eyeballs, you are fucked lad.
A mandatory redistribution of all functioning body parts is the right way to do it. I’d love for a kid in Uganda to end up with my eyeballs, he’d look quite out of place though which maybe he wouldn’t want
You should have to opt in. At some point I need to get around to opting out and then opting back in.
Imagine the funding required to bring everyone back to life. We should start a gofundme to get Richie back.
EDIT: or Magic.
Doctor gave me pills for migraines today. I'm not sure if that's because they're avoiding antibiotics or not. Headaches are the worst symptom by far of my cold/flu/weva, but I really hope I don't start getting migraines regularly. The amount of snot is reassuring in that sense.
I've been getting a slight ache/pain in my testies too but didn't have time to go over that today. It's slightly concerning, but a couple of my mates said they've had similar and I can't feel a lump so that can wait a week to be checked.
I had the flu over Christmas and my knackers ached like a bitch.
So I finally went. I had a full blood count done and showed low B12 levels, high aminotransferase levels, high reactive protein levels, high monocyte count etc amongst other things. I Googled most the bloods as they don't make sense to me but none of the ones that have 'high' written next to them look like good ones to have high levels in whereas Googling the % of red blood cells suggests mine are larger than they should be?. Booked in for an endoscopy which found what they called a hiatus hernia, discreet erosion and oesophigitis/other, a Google told me that it's basically a part of your stomach going into your esophagus and now I'm back in tomorrow but I'm not entirely sure what for other than it's to see someone and to take a urine sample with me. Woman on phone said consultation then I got the letter which says I'm seeing someone who's a specialist in general surgery, I don't know if that means I'm to expect some further news or if they are just going to give me some advice or whatever but the mind does wander.
Are you any good at reading blood results, RL?
Obviously I've not seen everything and so this is just general advice but:
B12 is a vitamin; the main issue low levels usually cause is a low level of red blood cells since you need B12 to make red cells. It being low will also cause you to have larger red cells.
Aminotransferases are produced by the liver and high levels is usually a result of damage/inflammation of the liver of one kind or another. Could be many many many causes for that.
Reactive proteins, is that CRP? That's a measure of inflammation.
Monocytes to be honest I have no clue, it's not one I pay much attention to.
Your stomach is below your diaphragm (the big flat muscle you use to breathe) so in order for your oesophagus to reach it, the oesophagus has to go through a hole in the diaphragm. A hiatus hernia is where part of the stomach goes back up through that hole. It tends to cause acid reflux (where the acid from your stomach comes up into your oesophagus) which would be a logical cause of the oesophagitis (which just means inflammation of the oesophagus).
The general surgery appointment could be to discuss having the hernia fixed.
I'll try take a picture and upload it if you have a chance to take a look but you're not too far from what I managed to Google. It's the numbers that confuse me the most.
Surprised how quick it's all happened, I anticipated waiting weeks but endoscopy was four days after Dr appointment and now I gotta go back which I wasn't expecting so it makes me think a little more than I probably should.
EDIT:
Toggle Spoiler
It's in the spoiler. Anything I should be worried about?
That CRP is not high, the aminotransferase is barely high and although the B12 is a bit low your haemoglobin is normal. Don't look worrying at all to me.
That's reassuring at least. I'm still none the wiser what I'm going in for tomorrow but just have to see I guess. When I Googled I went right down a rabbit hole, as you do.
Woke up with all the symptoms of a terrible hangover, bar being sick. Ugh. Didn’t even have the fun part of drinking to get here. :sick:
I shouldn't be too concerned about the hiatus hernia as they are quite common apparently but I've now been booked in for the dreaded one. A fuckin colonoscopy. That's a nightmare scenario and probably close to where I say fuck that tbh. My ass is going to be tainted. :cry:
:chortle:
Thumb. It. In.
I shouldn't worry too much. It's probably no bigger than the cock you take on the regs.
Just tell them you're really worried about it and ask for maximum sedation. You won't even remember it.
And maximum lubrication.
I'll mentally prepare, somehow. I'm actually hoping I see the screen as although the endoscopy was horrible, the screen was right beside me so watching it was quite fascinating until I kept forgetting to breath in through nose then started gagging like a bitch.
Having your gag reflex triggered and having your anal cherry popped in the same week. Christ.
I think I've just discovered my new job, @John.
Been in hospital since Saturday with a suspected stroke and 'profound' anaemia. They reckon I've got some as yet undiscovered internal slow puncture that's produced the anaemia, because if my red cell count had gone as low as it is quickly it would have floored me.
Christ. Wishing you well John. Without meaning to be too invasive, is this linked to your parents condition? What are they doing for you?
Family history definitely played a part in how quickly things moved initially but I reckon I'd have been admitted on symptoms alone.
It's largely just tests for the moment, two MRIs today with a camera down my throat to look for the bleed, a CT Angio, and another two tests I couldn't name to come later in the week. I had a CT when I first came in too, and a two bag blood transfusion overnight the first night.
Fuck me. Hopefully they can find out what it is and sort you out quickly.
Jesus.
Get well soon.
We should set up some sort of bot to call phonics a wanker in case he doesn't.
Yeah John, hope you’re on the mend soon :(
Get well soon buddy.
Frig. Best of luck, John.
Jesus, only see this now. Hope they’re getting you sorted John.
Lumbar puncture to come now too. Fun.
What's one of those? Do I want to know?
Is it a big ol' injection into the back?
Otherwise known as a spinal tap.
RIP John. What size are them orange trainers?
I'm still waiting for results on my colonoscopy which may I add was every bit as grim as expected. Some polyps were removed and I think that's what I'm waiting to hear to see if they are anything to worry about and then go from there. I initially had the appointment on the 3rd but silly me fucked up the prep side of things and so I had to return on Monday having done it correctly so I should know in the next 2/3 weeks apparently. Hemorrhoids was also noted but that could have been from straining or something. I then walked out with my tail between my legs feeling violated yet slightly optimistic that it's all coming to an end.
If I have to have another one then I think I'm going to get sedated as it was all a bit too much.
Not at all. You were given the option on the form prior to it but it would have meant having to stay longer whilst it wore off and tbh, I would much rather have got the hell out of there. I don't know if they injected my ass or whatever as the worst part was feeling it go in and then more uncomfortable than anything as it worked its way in and around. After it finished and a little chat with the chap I was able to go home maybe 20 minutes later, not before I used the loo and let rip with the longest fart I think I've ever had.
I would say the endoscopy is far worse if I'm honest.
Please. I've done so much wiping that my ass was redder than your avatar. I simply drank the movacol stuff a day too soon but it was an easy mix up given how it's written on the letter it come with. Perhaps the best thing about the last two weeks is I've had some glorious liquidised shit. I don't think I've ever watched a full documentary whilst sat on the loo before now.
Sorry to hear about your situation, John. Hope it all works out.
A male nurse from Doctor Congo started a rotation on my ward today. He introduced himself thus; 'I'm Zeus, but you can call me Sambo'. It took everything I had not to collapse into laughter on the spot, but he's since spent all day telling me not to be a Casanova because 'de woman, dey know' so I'm entertaining a five percent possibility I'm just far more ill than I realised.
Good luck John.
What’s the situation now John? Any further news or progress?
They've found three ulcers, one of which they reckon has been there for around six years, which have all been bleeding and have between them caused the anaemia. My MRI and CT Angio were both clear, so they're putting the strokey symptoms down to a migraine presenting abnormally for now and will revisit that if it happens again. Lumbar puncture is shelved.
They want to do a couple more blood tests, but it's looking like I'll get out this afternoon.
Glad to hear that, man. Sounds like a decent outcome overall.
Sounds shit but it could have been a hell of a lot shitter so I'm sure you'll take it. Getting away without a Lumbar puncture, which sounds like actual hell, is a result as well.
How does an ulcer get dealt with? Is it a thing that you just have once it's there or can it be treated so it's properly gone?
Glad it wasn't worse, John.
Seems like antibiotics are the way to go. I'm in the discharge lounge now waiting for two boxes of those to appear. I've to come back as an outpatient for another camera down my neck in six weeks to see how they're getting on, and presumably they'll try something else at that point if they aren't working.
Fingers crossed, then. Better news than it sounded like it might be.
Presumably there are dietary things you can do to help, or at least not make them worse. Assuming they're stomach ulcers of course.
Glad you're not dead yet John.
Hopefully there's a different charge nurse in the camera tube bit when I go back, because the one on yesterday was no fun at all. There seemed to be different suites you were taken to depending on which end the tube was going in, but they shared a waiting room. I was talking the woman beside me in the waiting room. When she told me she was waiting for a colonoscopy I dropped the incredibly lame, small talk joke 'well I hope I get to use the tube before you do.'
She fucking panicked and went straight to the nurse's station to make sure they had more than one tube in use, and the severe little nurse came over to assure me that colonoscopies were no laughing matter. All very funny, but I'd rather not see her again.
:D
:lol:
lmao at the tube joke.
I think I like this new fun John. In other news, the suspected Coronavirus case in the office got the all clear.
Stomach ulcers are mostly caused by a bacteria called h. pylori. Nobody believed the guy who discovered that so he proved it using himself as the labrat; had an endoscopy showing no ulcers, drank the bacteria, had a follow-up showing ulcers, cured himself with antibiotics, final follow-up showing resolution of ulcers. H. Pylori eradication is I think an anti-biotic (maybe two) and a PPI (omeprazolr, lansoprazole, etc) to reduce stomach acid.
I'm glad it's turned out to be something very treatable.
Glad to hear it's (relatively) good news.
Also :D at the tube joke.