A new football thread, for fuck's sake

Using the same one since the 2nd? Shambolic scenes.

Friday
Championship
19:45 - Sheffield Wednesday vs Middlesbrough (Sky)


Saturday
Premier League
12:30 - Chelsea vs Manchester United (Sky)
15:00 - Bournemouth vs Southampton
15:00 - Cardiff City vs Fulham
15:00 - Manchester City vs Burnley
15:00 - Newcastle United vs Brighton & Hove Albion
15:00 - West Ham United vs Tottenham Hotspur
15:00 - Wolverhampton Wanderers vs Watford
17:30 - Huddersfield Town vs Liverpool (BT)

Sunday
Premier League
16:00 - Everton vs Crystal Palace (Sky)

Monday
Premier League
20:00 - Arsenal vs. Leicester City

Blackburn/Leeds is on the Sky Red button tomorrow lunchtime, there's football from various places around the world at numerous different times that you can find on https://www.live-footballontv.com/ if you're desparate to know where you can watch Holsten Kiel vs Cologne or some Chinese football or whatever.

And something called "Eleven Sports" which I am genuinely just now hearing of for the first time has Spanish football including Barcamate against Seville on Saturday evening.

Just another victim for Wolves. 3-0.

My most local game away at Cardiff tomorrow. We really need to win, anything less would be a massive disappointment. A clean sheet would be nice too - 21 goals conceded in 8 is pretty awful.

Chelsea v United is MASSIVE for us. I can see us getting smashed 4-0 again.

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Fucking hell.

No doubt Huddersfield will put on a masterclass.

Christensen the latest to play up. This Jorginho obsession is going to cost us severely in the long run.

Chelseas heavily favourites tomorrow :eyemouth:

Mourinho out in full swing please.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

Christensen the latest to play up. This Jorginho obsession is going to cost us severely in the long run.

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How does that effect Christensen?

I'm at Dundee United tomorrow. @Waffdon

Scenes.

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They missed a MASSIVE trick there not including 'we stand against the immediacy of modern life'. Ed Woodward would have had the keys to that football hotel by the close of the working day.

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

How does that effect Christensen?

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Balance

Love that new gear from united. Getting a pair of strides for myself and wife.

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Originally Posted by Kikó

Love that new gear from united. Getting a pair of strides for myself and wife.

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:D They’re so bad.

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Originally Posted by Kikó

I'm at Dundee United tomorrow. @Waffdon

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I’m in a student flat on Perth Rd dying. Would appreciate a Butties x

Filth.

I’m meant to be going and meeting folk off the train in an hour but I honestly can’t think of anything worse right now

Smalling and Lindelof up against Morata. The unstoppable force meets the immovable object.

That probably makes sense in that they are the least clumsy cunts available, so, whilst they still won't get near him, they at least won't injure themselves chasing Eden Hazard around.

Real Madrid down 0-1 to Levante.

2-0.

Real Madrid will be coming in for Jose soon.

Lopetegui is so getting sacked today

Why are people not getting booked for deliberate fouls? Is there an unofficial first 15 minutes amnesty in big games?

Gateshead 1-0 up inside 4 minutes. Make that 2-0 in 15. Have Gazza on suicide watch. I mean, more than usual.

Poggers losing his man like that is so narrative-tastic I can barely contain myself.

I feel like I've already seen everything this game will offer.

Pogba trying to push the blame on to Lindelof when it was clearly his mistake is toxic.

I'm starting to fall for Sarri's bus driver chic. Much better than Pep and his fucking Remain turtle necks.

You’ll be all over Jorginho soon enough as well.

I cant watch the Man Utd game but Man Utd players better have been wearing that denim clothing line when they stepped off the bus at The Bridge.

I can do without hearing 'Sarriball' all year, but the fact he's changed their style of play so much in three months shows Mourinho up a bit.

Marcus Rashford is a younger Danny Welbeck.

Who’s the tit lying on the floor?

Jorginho has a nice chip pass on him but he is a chocolate teapot going the other way.

Morata, what a joke of a footballer.

Madrid managed to pull one back which was their first goal in over 8 hours of football (they last scored against Espanyol in late September) but still lost 2-1.

Martial :wub:

David Luiz remains a fucking liability. Get Christensen back in.

Superb finish. I thought he'd fucked it with his first touch.

Pogba may have been much maligned for the goal but he has completely smashed through us in midfield in the second half. Kanté off in his irrelevant position is powerless to stop it, and as soon as the possession turns over, with Kovacic ahead of the ball, Jorginho is hopelessly exposed.

We have the right personnel in the team but Jorginho needs to be much further forward and Kanté needs to be back where he belongs. You can't play with a deep-lying wankquartista in the Premier League, it just doesn't work.

Giroud has 5 in 27 for us and Morata has 18 in 60. Both have the composure of a melon. It's a sorry state of affairs.

Obviously.

Lol at Mourinho going after Sarri.

Took the dog for a walk didn't I. :moop:

lol at getting that wound up by a chain smoking smurf.

Wait. Never mind.

Oh it wasn't Sarri just some nonce.

Proper seethe from Jose though.

How, as Man Utd manager, can you get drawn into a fight by some backroom dweeb celebrating a goal in front of you?

Lol turned it off on 94th min.

The bloke with the red face is now wearing a gilet and looks to have put on another couple of stone since last summer. Really impressed that he hasn't had a stroke yet.

Dignified behaviour all round there. What a prat.

The highlight of that game for me, aside from Mourinho at the end, was the Utd goal being given after the Chelsea bloke (Alonso?) had a little nap. Pleasantly surprised the ref didn't panic and blow the whistle.

It was a bit odd. If he had only gone the whole hog and feigned a head injury then Mike Dean would have had to stop the game.

Huddersfield: Lossl; Durm, Zanka, Schindler, Lowe; Hogg, Billing, Mooy, Pritchard, Hadergjonaj; Depoitre

Subs: Hamer, Bacuna, Diakhaby, Van La Parra, Mbenza, Mounie, Stankovic

Liverpool: Alisson; Gomez, Lovren, Van Dijk, Robertson; Henderson, Milner, Lallana; Salah, Shaqiri, Sturridge

Subs: Mignolet, Matip, Alexander-Arnold, Fabinho, Wijnaldum, Origi, Firmino

Still no Fabinho, but I can only assume Klopp wants him properly ready, as he did with the Ox and Robertson last season. Good to see some rotation finally. Hopefully Bobby and Gini aren't needed to come on and can rest.

Aye I think Klopp has to trust Lallana, Shaqiri etc against the likes of Huddersfield.

Enjoying Fulham and Brentford getting beat, you probably have to live where I live to know just how fucking sanctimonious their cunt wanker fans are.

Just kick the fucking ball first time, Alisson.

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

Enjoying Fulham and Brentford getting beat, you probably have to live where I live to know just how fucking sanctimonious their cunt wanker fans are.

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Aren't they out protesting today?

6 Brits in our starting XI, been a while since it was that high. 5 for Spurs today, 4 Man Utd , 1 for Man City, 0 for Chelsea.

Good old Mo

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Originally Posted by Lewis

Aren't they out protesting today?

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Brentford's manager recently got head-hunted by Aston Villa, and my twitter was instantly full of 'The System is bigger than any one man, thanks for his efforts but we won't miss him :thbup:', including from people in their actual hierarchy. They then replaced him with some Danish binman from deep into their backroom staff which before a game played has been hailed as a 'very clever appointment :thbup:'. Chaps, does the manager matter or doesn't he? 'The System', for what it's worth, is their new age stats-bunker recruitment philosophy which also involved abolishing all their youth teams because they weren't value for money.

Fulham, meanwhile, are in the absolute sweet spot (when they put a half-decent side together every 10 years or so) to be flocked to by middle class Audi-driving tosspots around here who say things like 'I enjoy going to the football from time to time'. They then quickly disappear when the bandwagon runs out of steam, the club stagnates and those people go back to their executive boxes at the Autumn Internationals.

This is the worst Newcastle side I've ever seen. Rafa's getting a free pass for it as well.

Well can't help when your transfer budget amounted to 10p and a 30% off Sports Direct voucher.

Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.

How is David Luiz still starting games at this level? That Danish defender Chelski had looked super solid last year. Whats happened to him?

Also, Mourinho loves to brag and live from his old work and success.

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Originally Posted by Byron

Well can't help when your transfer budget amounted to 10p and a 30% off Sports Direct voucher.

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Nah, we completely bottled the United game due to a lack of organisation. Against Cardiff, we were afraid to go forward. Against Brighton, we couldn't convert the chances and deal with a scrappy corner. Some of that shit falls on the manager, some on the players. If Rafa's sulking like the rest of the players, he needs to go. He's ran his course.

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Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel

Also, Mourinho loves to brag and live from his old work and success.

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In fairness to him, he does have an incredible success rate and does deserve respect (respect, respect) off the back of it, but then he also has an incredible track record of leaving a club in ruins too.

Oh, it's rarely acrimonious but, even at United, there's been silverware.

People don't want silverware these days though. They want marketable league football. Basically what Klopp is delivering at Liverpool.

He was good yesterday and very likable as well. I'm just hoping he keeps with Mata a bit longer.

Lukaku is absolutely huge. It's laughable.

Do we know what the Chelsea fella said to Mourinho to set him off yet?

Probably fuck all. It was just in the heat of what would have been a very annoying 96th minute equaliser. All's fair in love and war.

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

They want marketable league football. Basically what Klopp is delivering at Liverpool.

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Used to deliver.

It's all about dour efficiency now.

Gerrard’s just bank transferred Andrew Dallas handing Rangers their first away win in the league.

Ruud Gullit reckons Hazard and Willian are purposely not creating chances for Morata because they don't trust him. Chelsea are doing well for a team whose two best attacking players are apparently actively sabotaging them.

I can't think of a worse transition from playing to punditry than Ruud Gullit's.

Peter Schmeichel or Dwight Yorke?

Owen Hargreaves.

All punditry is bollocks.

Yeah but I'd rather have Keith Andrews being a vacuous bore than Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink.

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

Yeah but I'd rather have Keith Andrews being a vacuous bore than Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink.

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Andrews is the worst of the lot. If you played a drinking game around him (or Kenny Cunningham) saying 'football' it'd be the last act of your life.

The worst one is Garth Crookes from BBC live score. I don't remember him as a player but wiki states he used to play. He is so bad. He cleary lives high off the hog also. He is deep In love with the trenton.

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Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel

The worst one is Garth Crookes from BBC live score. I don't remember him as a player but wiki states he used to play. He is so bad. He cleary lives high off the hog also. He is deep In love with the trenton.

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Yep, he's a massive gimp. His "team of the week" might have well been picked by Stevie Wonder half the time.

aye but i have to tell you, if you come from conneticut and you're white and you try any of that nonsense they'll kill you

Christ I'd forgotten that. One of the all time great moments.

Pound-for-pound, by which I mean including that vaguely fascistic Noel Edmonds vehicle what he berated a council leader on, Sky must have the best talk show hit rate ever.

Sky pre-twitter was an overlooked golden era. For a while I worked in an office where Sky News was on 24/7 and Kay Burley used to drop stuff most days that would now be getting outrage pile-ons. Something where she told a serial killer's ex she was to blame for his crimes having failed to satisfy him in bed sticks in the memory.

That was the Suffolk Strangler's wife, I believe.

If only she’d have let him wrap the irons cord around her neck, the frigid bitch.

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

I can't think of a worse transition from playing to punditry than Ruud Gullit's.

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Phil Neville has topped him with a flourish today by saying Chelsea should sack that coach bloke for celebrating his team scoring.

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Originally Posted by John

Phil Neville has topped him with a flourish today by saying Chelsea should sack that coach bloke for celebrating his team scoring.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3JEwovvzzA

Phil Neville makes me want to stick knives in my ears.

Swear Arsenal only ever play shite teams at home with Chelsea away fired in every now and then. Feels like they haven’t played away in Manchester for years.

Arsenal definitely have more easy home games than other teams. Always win 3-0 as well.

Spurs are always away somewhere shit and win 1-0.

I see the trigger attempts and will not rise to them.

At the 69th minute they’re going to play happy birthday through the PA because it’s Arsene Wengers birthday a couple of days ago. it’s the most shameful thing I’ve ever heard and I’m half way to saying the club should be liquidated.

Orlando City aren't even that tinpot.

No chance that happens.

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

Arsenal definitely have more easy home games than other teams. Always win 3-0 as well.

Spurs are always away somewhere shit and win 1-0.

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Man City definitely only ever play relegation shite at home every week too.

Such a nice finish that.

They’ve not been great but it’s nice to see Arsenal play one touch counters again.

Iwobi has made half a YouTube highlights reel without being very effective as well.

Excellent half hour but let another team off the hook when we were dominating AGAIN. Never has an Arsenal 3-1 with barely a chance created by us been more on the cards.

Only momentarily but from first sight That Aubameyang haircut looks like an absolute horror job.

That was beautiful.

Mesut Özil is on one

That 3-1 goal is pure filth.

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Originally Posted by Max Power

Excellent half hour but let another team off the hook when we were dominating AGAIN. Never has an Arsenal 3-1 with barely a chance created by us been more on the cards.

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This is why fans are superior to pundits. Nailed it outside of you hitting the bar against the run of play.

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Originally Posted by Max Power

Excellent half hour but let another team off the hook when we were dominating AGAIN. Never has an Arsenal 3-1 with barely a chance created by us been more on the cards.

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Ref nearly gifted that to you. Piss poor performance by him and the lino in front of me all game.

Iheanacho was giving Holding a mare early on, Holding getting far too tight more than once, I actually think the unwarranted booking helped him (and us) as he started dropping a yard off and not being turned.

Nearly came when the third went in. Özil and Bellerin were both fantastic tonight. Atmosphere in the second half was superb, best outside of spuds games I’ve been at for a while, but I’d say in general it’s been getting better and better since the West Ham game (Brentford not included, where tension was running very high).

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Originally Posted by phonics

They’ve not been great but it’s nice to see Arsenal play one touch counters again.

Iwobi has made half a YouTube highlights reel without being very effective as well.

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Weirdly I think he’s been very effective this year. Not in assists/goals etc, but often in the Giroud sense. He’s packed on quite a few pounds of muscle and he’s offering the out-ball, holding it up and bringing others in and/or using power and skill to work himself out of a tight spot.

Looking forward to Rees Nelson coming back next year after his performances in the Bundesliga - Project Youth finally coming to fruition in the shape of a much improved Bellerin, Iwobi, Nelson and the Conservative MP for Harrow Ainsley Maitland-Niles would be great to see. Never mind Emile Smith-Rowe.

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Originally Posted by The Merse

Ref nearly gifted that to you. Piss poor performance by him and the lino in front of me all game.

Iheanacho was giving Holding a mare early on, Holding getting far too tight more than once, I actually think the unwarranted booking helped him (and us) as he started dropping a yard off and not being turned.

Nearly came when the third went in. Özil and Bellerin were both fantastic tonight. Atmosphere in the second half was superb, best outside of spuds games I’ve been at for a while, but I’d say in general it’s been getting better and better since the West Ham game (Brentford not included, where tension was running very high).

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What exactly did they do wrong other than incorrectly not give Leicester a penalty?

Tbf, a couple of Leicester fans just complained of that and it was first I’d heard. Guessing it was in the clock-west corner, almost as far from me as possible when I was on the north side of halfway and almost pitch level, so I didn’t see it and didn’t really see any appeals. Wenger style.

Perreira should have been carded three times for challenges on Iwobi and Lichsteiner, Chilwell (who was a prick all game long with his moaning) too, soft fouls given the other way, Iheanacho and Maddison both offside when I was level with them and the Lino was 10 yards off it. To be fair, nothing game changing in retrospect, but a big part of them stifling us first half. Maddison has a touch of the Zaha about him (fully appreciate Pires was no angel in that respect).

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Originally Posted by phonics

They’ve not been great but it’s nice to see Arsenal play one touch counters again.

Iwobi has made half a YouTube highlights reel without being very effective as well.

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Yeah he just seems a lot like this to me in general. He sort of seems to improve, and like yesterday he kept getting involved in play all the time and seemingly doing most things right. But then at the end of the day he's never there to score goals or make assists. Like that moment when he almost came through 1-on-1 but he sort of missed the touch to bring down the ball and it bounced to the keeper instead - thats where a player with that little extra skill would have just gotten a touch at that and made a chance of it.

Iwobi is looking more and more like Willian to me in that sense. Great player, allround good. But, maybe not the kind you cry a river over when he's out either.

Agreed.

But he’s worthwhile. He helps us retain the ball and unsettle the opposition defence and midfield and sucks 2 in, creating space for others. He recycles bad balls well too, rarely giving it away where a counter is in even if he does often lose it at the end of a surge forward. He still needs to add more end product to stay in the reckoning long term with anticipated recruitment and the emergence of AMN, Smith Rowe and Nelson expected to kick on by next term, but for now he’s beneficial enough to the whole to make up for the more tangible productivity that’s a little lacking.

*engage matralux mode*

Teams are going to have to learn to put Arsenal away in the first half. They were absolute shite last night and should really have been a couple down at the break, but they remain a team with an uncanny knack for quick/successive goals.

I can’t tell whether the shit first half great second half narrative is a sign that Emery is great at recognising the issues and fixing them or he doesn’t know how to set them up in the first place and these big shifts are throwing teams off.

Wa-hoah, Mourinho going for it again.

Several CSKA supporters have been injured in an escalator accident in Rome.

Ronaldo versus Mike Smalling :drool:

The pub I’m at is mostly wall to wall Madrid understandably but there’s one tv with a different game on where they’ve gone with the obvious choice of... Ajax v Benfica :cab:

Dybalo and Che-leenee.

Keown. :sick:

Oh you're in Madrid phonics?

:drool:

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Originally Posted by Magic

Oh you're in Madrid phonics?

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You’re such a fucking weirdo.

This is like one of those hopeless mid-nineties attempts at beating Juventus.

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Originally Posted by phonics

You’re such a fucking weirdo.

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:D

You rattled him, MATE.

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Originally Posted by Lewis

This is like one of those hopeless mid-nineties attempts at beating Juventus.

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It really is. We're getting completely outclassed.

The only reason it isn't 3-0 is because they hate Liverpool.

Wayne Rooney is better than Romelu Lukaku.

He's definitely more in shape. Matic is finished as a footballer as well.

That's some save.

Matic is looking like the same player he was during Mourinho's last season at Chelsea.

We've made no subs. Not much on the bench but there are at least some fresh legs available

Purple Lukaki is terrible.

That escalated quickly....

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You imagine those at the back are looking at bumps and bruises, while those at the front, broken ankles, legs and maybe worse.

Scary shit though.

5 are in intensive care.

Were they doing a gig or something?

That joke only works if I had written out the number. -1 funny points, sir.

I believe it was '5ive' so either way is technically correct (the best kind of correct).

Fabinho starts for Liverpool :cool2:

Origi on the bench :drool:

Chelsea v Tottenham wafer tie later in the season, cannot wait. First leg at Barnet, second leg at Reading, and the Met can have the week off.

That Suarez pass was unreal.

Liverpool have changed their tactic tonight. We’re playing Salah up front with three behind him.

Frank Lampard’s Derby :drool:

Frank and Jody will be our next managers I reckon.

Sancho is going to be absolutely mega if he stays abroad for the next few years.

Never thought I’d see Atletico lose four goals in a game

Liverpool's group is fun, though PSG should be dominating with the players they have. I really can't call who will go through.

If Napoli and Liverpool both win their next games, we'll find out if you can win the Ballon d'Or from the Europa League.

Spurs putting up a sign advertising White Hart Lane as ‘The only place to see Champions League in North London’ only to get knocked out before playing a game there would be peak Spurs.

That's bad. :D

Tbf it's better than not being in it at all :sorry:

Ive been surprisingly entertained by our Europa games lately but this one is back to form. Absolutely desperate stuff.

I don’t think either team has created anything that could be described as better than a snatching attempt at the ball.

The idea that xhaka, someone who has no idea how to tackle, can play at left back is baffling.

‘No idea how to tackle’ is a bit much.

Should have kept Coquelin. What a good tackler he was.

Bring back Gilberto.

God this game is so fucking dull. Even the goal was boring. 5 minutes of extra time to inflict more boredom upon the world.

Gattuso is Simeone in a fat suit.

Re. Xhaka: what is he good at? I'm convinced that if he was right-footed he'd have had half the career. I'm not watching tonight but during Monday's game and whenever else I've seen him, there doesn't seem to be anything he excels at, and he is quite poor at a few things.

I’m not sure what he’s good at specifically but every time he doesn’t play we are worse so he clearly does something. Seems to link defence and attack.

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Originally Posted by Reg

Re. Xhaka: what is he good at? I'm convinced that if he was right-footed he'd have had half the career. I'm not watching tonight but during Monday's game and whenever else I've seen him, there doesn't seem to be anything he excels at, and he is quite poor at a few things.

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Lol, why does it matter what foot he is

Hleb is playing against us. Jesus Christ.

I didn't even think Loftus Cheek was still there.

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Lol, why does it matter what foot he is

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It matters a lot: anyone left-footed, blonde, Fellaini-haired or in any way different in appearance gets noticed more.

If you’re a nonce or a faggot, maybe.

Quality contribution as always, mate.

I'm trying to manage my expectations for this season, but it's hard to hold back the hype.

Ronaldo held her back.

I struggle with the concept of anyone ever getting excited by anything Juventus ever do, but I guess the 'Italian' diaspora was their original target market, so that would figure. Completely soulless and for a large part quite hateful with it to. I suppose there is always Gentleman John.

Are Juvaldo the favourites for the Champions' League? United could do a lot worse than just hiring their entire management team once they've won it and fancy a new, better paid challenge.

I reckon they like to think they are, but they aren't (City are, apparently).

Realistically one of the Spanish lot will do them over.

Juventus were a lot like United when they first got back into the top flight, which is reassuring in a way. What did they have, four years of throwing money at absolute shit and letting idiots run the show? Then again, the rest of their league is hopeless, so let's pencil a United title in for 2030.

Aye, but whilst they were being shit Inter won the league four times or whatever it was.

Last title before everyone else got nobbled? 1989?

Milan's last one was 2011. Roma in 2001. Inter's last pre-Calciopoli title was indeed 1989.

That Middlesbrough team is pathetically boring. 5-4-1 at home after not scoring for about three home games with Downing as your creative player.

Derby have looked incredible these two last games. Fat Frank :drool:

On the other hand, Frank Lampard's loan army look amazing. Shame they'll probably go up and then lose all of the good ones to the benches at their respective parent clubs.

Mason Mount is going to have a tragedy of a career. Not only does he sound like a little-used ODI venue in New Zealand, but he has one of those compact little bodies that foreign coaches at top, top clubs always dispense with in favour of chunky Brazilians with sleeve tattoos. Like Josh McEachran, but better and more so.

Phil Foden may well suffer the same fate once Pep stresses himself back to New York.

That’s some own goal.

Moreno and Lovren start for Liverpool today.

:uhoh:

Moreno needs moving on.

Glenn Hoddle rushed to hossy, apparently.

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Originally Posted by John Arne

Glenn Hoddle rushed to hossy, apparently.

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To a what now?

Apparently we haven't conceded at home in the league since February…. 14hrs and counting.

Fabinho's got gloves on already. He's never gonna cut it in the premier league.

Cardiff are time wasting, at 0-1 down.

85% possession is something!

This is the classic game that old Liverpool would be unable to score again. Then after accepting the 1-0, concede to a set piece in the 90th.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by John Arne

Cardiff are time wasting, at 0-1 down.

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The very worst managers (Warnock, Allardyce and Pulis) set out to slow the game down regardless of the scoreline. Their teams just can't cope if there's lots of open play.

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Originally Posted by Gray Fox

This is the classic game that old Liverpool would be unable to score again. Then after accepting the 1-0, concede to a set piece in the 90th.

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It's going to happen again.

Nah

Sancho with another 2 today for Dortmund.

Uh oh.

That was lovely by Shaqiri.

Just putting it out there.... Shaqiri signing of the season.

I can’t wait for Liverpool to shit the bed.

We won’t, but City will run away with it so don’t worry.

Apparently Glenn Hoddle collapsed in the BT studio and was rushed to hospital.

Yup. BBC are reporting him as seriously ill. I can't see much from our incoming fixtures. The fact that we're not adrift says as much about the bottom of the table. Fulham's providing a case to Ashley for why he didn't spend.

Fulham have spent too much time worrying about signing fancy players and not enough time worrying about how to defend. Their goals against column is a joke.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

Fulham have spent too much time worrying about signing fancy players and not enough time worrying about how to defend. Their goals against column is a joke.

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Currently on track to break the record for most Premier League goals conceded, which was itself set by Swindon back when it was a 42 game season.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gray Fox

Apparently Glenn Hoddle collapsed in the BT studio and was rushed to hospital.

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Must have done something in his previous life, the nonce.

Well that sucks balls.

Sounds pretty serious.

Arsenal are still a bit, well, Arsenal. The amount of chances they give to teams is mental. Luckily they’ve played relegation fodder and mid table shite for two months straight.

The old Highbury scream behind the goal has made itself to C.Palace

Zaha has been a disgrace.

Bit of a dive but the mistake comes 70 yards up the pitch trying to get our defensive midfielder trying to score a 30 yard volley.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by phonics

Bit of a dive but the mistake comes 70 yards up the pitch trying to get our defensive midfielder trying to score a 30 yard volley.

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You don't think throwing a dangling leg out in front of zaha was a mistake?

Hence the 'Bit of'

What is Gary Neville on about? Gueye literally tackled the ball off him.

This fucking run up, sort it out. Great save from Pickford.

And Martial went down like a fanny. Oh well.

That run up sums Pogba up really. Should be a modern great but isn't because he worries too much about poncing about like a twat.

Stuttering against the immediacy of modern life.

That's a penalty. He's tripped him even if he gets the ball first. Pogba's penalty run up is utter wank.

Real Madrid manager must be set for the sack now. Wenger in?

You look at that Madrid back line and wonder what the fuck Europe has been doing for the last three years.

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Originally Posted by Kikó

That's a penalty. He's tripped him even if he gets the ball first. Pogba's penalty run up is utter wank.

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That’s bait.

Martial is something else. Him and Pogba are far too good for everyone else. Just another typical Everton away performance, this.

United have looked good today, but Rashford needs to kill more moves/lose the ball more if he wants to start up front more regularly.

We've looked ok but wouldn't call it good. Flashes though that we can improve. Matic and Young are the next two that need to be binned.

The shaking Swede is improving.

He's like Daley Blind in an adult's body. I bet he would look mega alongside somebody more physically capable.

That's pretty much what he had at Benfica in Luisão.

Here comes purple Lukaki.

Smalling. Ill-timed. Penalty.

Pretty sure thats going on his gravestone.

You want to blame Paulp Ogba there, but that tackle was like something out a match fixing scandal.

It is Pogba though who made a ridiculous pass and put us under pressure. Smalling is beyond thick and can never be saved.

Here comes the draw.

Lukaku relieved not to have produced the shittest finish of the match.

Rangers losing to Aberdeen in Glasgow. That must be about the first time in 20 years. Gerrard :drool:

Conte to Madrid. No Hazard to Madrid then.

Lopetegui hasn't had a great few months, has he?

Probably two decent pay offs.

I know Mr Capello defied the odds there for a while, but Conte has to be a pretty bad fit for the Real Madrid way of doing things. They must have another binman they can turn to. I saw Santi Solari chucking his hat in the ring the other day. Raul?

Hazard to Real Madrid would surely be off the cards if Conte went there.

I am surprised Wenger's name isn't being mentioned. I would love to see him there.

The U19 AFC Championships currently underway in Indonesia.
Attendance for Japan v North Korea; 45
Attendance for Indonesia v Japan; 60,154 :drool:

Hopefully we can get some 1st downs early on

Lol at all the NFL markings on the pitch.

The state of this fucking pitch is making my eyes bleed. This is a fucking disgrace if I ever saw one.

Can't really blame anyone bar Spurs for it. Not that it really matters.

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Originally Posted by Mazuuurk

The state of this fucking pitch is making my eyes bleed. This is a fucking disgrace if I ever saw one.

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The pitch looks like something from a National League (non league football mate) game.

How dare you. Gateshead's pitch is magnificent.

I know they're playing city but i swear spurs look slow and turgid whenever I watch them. Sissoko is an odd player.

Bloody City!

Neville and Carragher are great TV.

Catching up on MOTD. What a bizarre performance from Fulham. Mindless.

Lamela is such a div.

City took the piss for large parts, but Spurs really could have had something out of that. Smallpockets loading Kane and co onto lifeboats as we speak.

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Originally Posted by Mazuuurk

The state of this fucking pitch is making my eyes bleed. This is a fucking disgrace if I ever saw one.

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I came to comment, but you beat me to it.

Yeah I'm lightning fast like that :cool:

TAA :face:

https://imgur.com/a/IoBbyEN

Oh, God. I feel like you can't even congratulate him for it.

How desperate do you need to be as a footballer. Surely you can have anyone. This chick must be mint.

It reads like vile arrogance to me rather than desperation.

That was all far too long for me to read. Plus I've no idea who TAA is.

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Originally Posted by Giggles

That was all far too long for me to read. Plus I've no idea who TAA is.

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Alexander-Arnold, the Liverpool left back. I skimmed it and closed the tab when he started posting pictures of half eaten bananas.

That's Liverpool and Englands best right back to you. No idea what he's playing at here though.

Apparently Roberto Martinez is favourite for the Real Madrid job.

Him and Conte are both big Lukaku fans, and they are the only club stupid enough to buy him off United. I don't know how he would have done it, but this has MIND GAME written all over it.

I still don't know why Real Madrid wanked so much money on a goalkeeper when they had a perfectly serviceable one, but haven't even attempted to replace Ronaldo in any shape or form. Not that you could replace him, but they've literally just ghosted his spot in the squad.

I don't even think Courtois has been getting a game, and now they look likely to appoint the man who soured him on Chelsea.

Courtois does the La Liga games.

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

I still don't know why Real Madrid wanked so much money on a goalkeeper when they had a perfectly serviceable one, but haven't even attempted to replace Ronaldo in any shape or form. Not that you could replace him, but they've literally just ghosted his spot in the squad.

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Neymar. I think they'd have moved for him this summer if he hadn't had a shit world cup but he'll be there next year. It's weird they still have the Adidas deal considering they keep getting Nike's biggest star in as a Galactico. You'd think they'd pay a premium for the synergy.

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Originally Posted by John

I don't even think Courtois has been getting a game, and now they look likely to appoint the man who soured him on Chelsea.

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Courtois always seemed more well thought of by journalists than any Chelsea fan you'd speak to which should always set alarm bells ringing.

After bringing up the Adidas/Nike thing I started looking at their sponsorships and started looking at the LeBron deal.

Found an article from 2002:
https://i.imgur.com/pDsuvVQ.png

Juice worth 349 million dollars in signature shoe sales alone.

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

It reads like vile arrogance to me rather than desperation.

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Yeah he's basically just gone 'bet I could make her let me fuck her for this father's day message.'

Though other than to either court the attention or get this so she can release it online I dunno why she hasn't just blocked him the moment it becomes apparent he's an awful person.

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Originally Posted by Danny

TAA :face:

https://imgur.com/a/IoBbyEN

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Lad.

Trent is just trying to get his swerve on. I hear pregnant pussy is fire too. Cant blame him. I dont see the issue hear.

Real Madrid will try and get Kane at some point.

Lmao. What a total prick he is, though I bet most footballers probably have a similar vibe

The Carabao Cup is so dull we didn't even bother making a thread it seems so I'll use this one.

Guendozi got sent off last night so he'll be suspended against Liverpool in the league. I was confused by this as I thought they'd changed it so that suspensions only applied to that domestic cup competition but as it turns out... He got sent off for 2 yellows, which carries across but if he got a straight red then the suspension would only apply to the Carabao Cup :cab:

Someone's fucked up there, there are a couple of scenarios I can think of in which that would incentivise dangerous or reckless play.

That seems an odd way to interpret that idea (I'd heard about it earlier in the season as well). I reckon the best approach would be for a suspension to apply to the current season's cup competition if you are still in it, but the league for any carry-over if/once you are out. That Copa Del Rey rule they used to have on FM where violent conduct got you banned from the cup for about 4 years always did my head in.

Meanwhile, in Germany, Rafinha has been dressing up as an Arab carrying a box of explosives.

:D

If I was a player who was already on a yellow and fouled someone and thought I was gonna get booked, I'd kick someone to change it to a straight red. Nobody cares about missing cup games.

Does the rule work the other way (ie league suspensions have to be served in league games)? Has it been brought in to combat all those mysterious 5th yellow cards that crop up before cup ties?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-46058896

"Basically, I loved kicking Andrew Cole," Ruddock told Talksport.

"I know this is not big or clever but in one tackle I broke both his legs, because he annoyed me."

Explaining the reason for the horror tackle, which sidelined Cole for several months, Ruddock said: "I'm great friends with Teddy Sheringham and Teddy Sheringham didn't like him - and if Teddy Sheringham didn't like him, I don't like him."

What a prick.

Getting second reffed as 'the burly defender' must sting, even for Ruddock.

He should be banned from football.

The two things I've taken from that is that he may have intentionally broken his legs, yet he still has the courtesy to refer to him by his preferred moniker (Andrew) and that I respect Cole a lot more for harbouring a deep-seated hatred of Teddy Sheringham, who you've only ever had to look at to know must be an absolutely despicable person.

Wait, Neil Ruddock was a cunt? Surely not.

Would he have grounds to sue him? Lost bonuses or whatever (probably about two grand after inflation).

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p06q5q20

For some reason all eight on that selection make me lol. I think the first track may well be the worst piece of music ever composed.

I bet he googled for an Oasis track beforehand to humour the City fans.

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

The two things I've taken from that is that he may have intentionally broken his legs, yet he still has the courtesy to refer to him by his preferred moniker (Andrew) and that I respect Cole a lot more for harbouring a deep-seated hatred of Teddy Sheringham, who you've only ever had to look at to know must be an absolutely despicable person.

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I always wondered why he went from Andy to Andrew and apparently it's because of an appearance on SoccerAM

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Cole explained how he was once asked what his parents call him, to which he replied Andrew, with the media then running away with the soundbite to claim that he no longer wanted to be referred to as Andy.

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Originally Posted by Lewis

Would he have grounds to sue him? Lost bonuses or whatever (probably about two grand after inflation).

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10 year statute of limitations on civil cases with a 1 year extension if it was only just found out which still leaves him 6 months short or so. I'd say Ruddock isn't smart enough to not tell that story for 10 years to cover himself legally but it's odd that he decides to tell the story now.

Just catching up on the lolfest up north.

Lennon and that 'keeper going down like they'd been shot reminded me of good old Dida. One of the assistant refs being 'hit by a coffee cup' as well. Get the president of Madagascar on the blower.

I'm not sure what you'd be suing Ruddock for - some sort of tort? I don't think you could claim to have only just found out that you'd had your legs broken, which probably would have been the wrong. I think that 1 year thing is for 'hidden' defects/consequences you couldn't have known about at the time.

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p06q5q20

For some reason all eight on that selection make me lol. I think the first track may well be the worst piece of music ever composed.

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It was a podcast he did with Guilleme Balague, it's the most stomach churning thing ever committed to the medium of podcasts.

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Originally Posted by phonics

I always wondered why he went from Andy to Andrew and apparently it's because of an appearance on SoccerAM






10 year statute of limitations on civil cases with a 1 year extension if it was only just found out which still leaves him 6 months short or so. I'd say Ruddock isn't smart enough to not tell that story for 10 years to cover himself legally but it's odd that he decides to tell the story now.

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I'm not following you at all. This happened in 1996. How is this anywhere near 10 or 11 years?

Eit - It appears this interview is from 2010. Still nowhere near 10 years though.

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Originally Posted by SvN

I'm not following you at all. This happened in 1996. How is this anywhere near 10 or 11 years?

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You know when you see something happened in 1996 and you just assume that was 10 years ago because you've forgot about the crushing weight of time passing? As you realise you're old and decrepit and you should just Logans Run yourself before it gets anyworse. That me.

Speaking of sickening Pep journos, none of the journalists hyping up Graham Hunters documentary will tell me whether Dr. Estadio Fuentes and his blood bags feature in a story about the greatest team in the world.

Andy Farrell became Andrew Farrell in the lead up to his union move (chicken and egg that one), and now he's Andy Farrell again. You're alright with 'Andy'. It's one of the few diminutives you can get away with past a certain age without putting yourself across as a nonce/cunt.

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p06q5q20I think the first track may well be the worst piece of music ever composed.

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:D

It really is a shit song.

Rooney missed a pen in the shootout as Columbus knocked out DC :D

3 of DC's pens were fucking awful.