Anyone watching Life on Marbs? :drool:
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Anyone watching Life on Marbs? :drool:
Fucking hell john it was a joke.
It's the Bake Off final tomorrow. :drool:
Cmon Tamal.
Although a Nadiya win would also be acceptable.
It needed a thread, and that post was as good as any to kick it off.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
That's a quality name though, and shows a level of wit and awareness of quality programming that you wouldn't expect from the sort of thundercunt involved with such tosh.
I'd like to see somebody with no personality whatsoever win the Bake Off. Maybe I could do it. Learn to bake, and then don it every week with robotic perfection whilst refusing to BANTER with 'Hollywood' Paul Hollywood and them lesbians.
'It's a chocolate cake, Paul. It's chocolate-flavoured cake. Now if you don't mind, I have to make my chocolate cake.'
Big Brother should re-name to House of Tards.
No?
:(
Lewis watches bake off?
'Mel' isn't a lesbian. She'd be a brilliant sex partner. It'd be like getting a blowie from Dr. Zoidberg.
My mother does, so I absorb it if I'm in the living room. Hollywood needs putting firmly in his place.
Uh huh, I believe you.
Harold :D
Is that actually her though? They all look the same when they've got that much make up on.
Yes, it's her. She became a webcam girl and escort after X-Factor.
I see it's been deleted, which is odd. Is nudity allowed or not? And if not, why not? Not like there's anything to protect.
Who??
About Chloe
Its not about what you heard . Its what your hearing.
:D
Read the rules.Quote:
Originally Posted by QE Harold Flair
No thanks, John.
She's actually a millionairess now.
http://www.chloemafiaofficial.com/
Do as you please, but next time you break them you'll get the ban you should have got for that.
Most definitely an escort, loads of them carted out to Dubai now.
Fucking lol, looked at her Instagram and she has this post:
http://i.imgur.com/rmg8G8R.png
The quickest of reverse imaging reveals it's the foyer for a new build block of flats in Huddersfield, I feel like she was trying to suggest it was an image of her house the cheeky tart.
http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-...-34628324.html
It won't make your penis any bigger. If you want to discuss this further then pm me. Otherwise, keep on topic.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
he is a prick, but Mary Berry's worse. I hate her. Actually, all the presenters are annoying.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Nadiya and Tamal are good though, and Flora was alright in a oh god what's gone wrong now? poor girl! kinda way.
That posh bloke with the bulb head and homegrown basil and rubbish homemade wooden cutting blocks can get lost though. Ian is it? Typical.
As for the LOLOL u watch bake off m8? I've only watched the last 3 episodes and thought it as alright. Something not too bad that we both agree on - a rarity!
I was gutted I missed the last bakeoff and then recorded some shitty last series rerun special on Sunday instead of the repeat. Chocolate week and all.
Apprentice next week :drool:
There is a documentary about seven year old trannies on Channel 4. These people are just idiots.
Did anyone see 'We Want Our Country Back' on BBC Three. Now we all know the BBC is a biased organisation but they usually try and pretend otherwise. Not in this.
I saw 'Is Britain Racist?' last night. They kept running 'experiments' that either proved nothing or proved we aren't, and then they explained them away with 'Although this proves nothing, the black lad got looked at in a shop, so...'
I missed that one, I don't think I'll bother with the BBC on this kind of issue any more. Some of Britain First are obviously twats, but there was some absolutely ridiculous bias in this, not to mention outright lies. Such as 'as usual with right wing demonstrations, it soon descended into violence' - camera pans out to show no violence beyond a few nasty words. In fact, the only violence shown was by Muslims attacking them but, as was pointed out, it's okay because they were provoked. Obviously.
The other highlight was some pleb from 'Liberty GB' trying to explain to the brown presenter that she wasn't ethnically British. He wasn't doing a particularly good job of explaining himself (because 'British' is a political state), but she got all offended because she didn't understand what ethnicity means and took it to mean she was a second class citizen.
The Muslim woman gets to stay at home all day baking whilst the two blokes have to work. It's not fair.
I tried to use an icing bag once, but I had made the icing too thick for the nozzle and it just burst all over my hands. Icing. :drool:
Jake Yapp on GBBO is worth watching.
Those things look like the most uninspiring dessert ever to be handed.
Berry going to sabotage this. Can't have colonials winning.
I wasn't bothered who won until I saw that grown man (and father of two) crying over a baking competition, at which point I wanted him to lose. I imagine his kids will grow up gay/trans anyway if they're watching their old man doing all the housework, but he's just surrendered any authority he might require in future.
Not to worry lads she'll be off to Syria next week with the kids.
He has the head of an old woman with a man's haircut.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Is it just me or does 'Grimmy' look like he can dislocate his entire jaw on demand? He doesn't look or sound like a real human being.
I almost feel like we need a third TV thread now for non-serial stuff that doesn't fall under the auspices of braindead shite.
Did anybody see this week's Only Connect? It looks like they've seriously ramped up the difficulty for the knockout rounds of this series, even some of the vowel stuff was too obscure for me.
Watching the X Factor and my gran has just said about the weird, confused American freak:
'He's definitely got the trans vote'
Well...
Oh look Arouna Kone is on FirstDates.
Because telling your date you cross dress and go gay bars is gonna help you pull :face:
And of course, it worked for him. You're on fire this week.
She wants a gay friend to go out with.Quote:
Originally Posted by wullie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGzeC9IaGLc
Did you know they're making a sixth season of the IT Crowd where Roy didn't actually die in the meth lab?
Lee out of Eastenders was fine fixing that plug until 'er indoors started nattering him, yet he's getting all the grief. Seething.
This 'Gavin' looks like Geoffrey Hayes as well, which slightly undermines his villain credentials.
Ian Beale's mam looks good to say she must be pushing pension age.
What am I even doing with my life?
The unfortunate thing is that you'd be screened out early doors unless you could fake the BANTER and PERSONALITY in the auditions. My aunt was on some minor Italian reality, and was in the last few rounds of selection for The Apprentice there as well, and she's corroborated that it's pretty much 100% personality driven.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Is that why Samsung dropped their interest?
Go on, Ben, you poofter. You've killed before, you can do it again.
It's not Sharon's real dad is it? Groan.
I actually dropped them because I didn't have the time. Could have warned Floyd that they were a bunch of bent bastards.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Great British Menu is the best show of all time when you can skip everything that isn't food and x-factor-esque pauses.
I had a 'friend' get to the second round of French Pop Idol and I was sure he'd get taken as he had a prime combo of being really shit and mentally unhinged. Sadly he just never got a call back.
I'm forced into sitting through the dancing thing on BBC tonight. It's absolutely hideous, never seen as much filler in a show in my life. And why do the old judge and the little foreign judge shout so much?
Entertainment...Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
I decided to turn the X Factor on for the first time this year.
The first person was meh, the second was shit and the group who have just gone on were a car crash.
I like the voice of the chubby fella with glasses, but the Asian girls were about a million times better than everyone else including the guest doing his own single.
The old man holding everyone hostage with a lighter was awful. Kathy was close enough to blow out the flame which would give Ben a chance to terribly act him to the floor. Sharon could then sit on him until the police arrive.
Also, what the fuck?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTjYTTwk_FQ
I gave up on X Factor several years ago. It was grim then, so fuck knows how bad it must be these days.
I saw that. The attempt to turn it into a horror film was laughable. They had the false scares, fireworks filling in for lightning in the old 'ominous figure glimpsed in the shadows' routine, the wise kid being shut down by an impatient adult, the antagonist with a ghostly ability to only be seen by children until he reveals himself. When the camera went in close on a slowly turning doorknob I lolled,Quote:
Originally Posted by wullie
Great documentary on BBC2 about the Carribean at the moment.
Of what I've seen them Asians are by far the best (and probably stand to make the most money), but I couldn't get my head around the chair business.Quote:
Originally Posted by wullie
One of them's from St Helens. Kiera Weathers.
Simon Reeve? I caught the first episode of that. It was good. His shows always are.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
Jesus, there's a Great Irish Bakeoff too, exactly the same right down to the notebook drawings of the cakes and the happy/creepy background music. I had forgot Anna Nolan existed until I seen it there. Do you have to be a lesbian to present this franchise?
I recently got into The Almost Impossible Gameshow. It's absolute rubbish, on par with Total Wipeout, but the Rubberbandits narrate it so it ends up being class.
Also Karl Pilkington's The Moaning Of Life 2 is about 80% boring, watching him do stupid stuff, but when he's away from it and just chatting about what he's thinking about he's really funny. When he mentioned his pillow looking like giraffe skin really amused me.
Only Connect has turned a bit shit recently. Maybe I'm just bitter at not getting answers, but everything seems incredibly obscure to a level far beyond what it used to be.
I absolutely smashed it the other day. Probably just on a run of questions you can't do. I'm on such a run with University Challenge.
I still hate the no vowels round though, might as well finish with a wank off.
:D @ the guy having his card declined.
I got a message today to ask how I'd managed to appear in that Class of '92 thing...
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/...6845851844.jpg
:D .. Is that not you?
The ad for the latest Masterchef: The Professionals suggests it's still ruined by having no Roux Jr and that Wareing cock inatead again. Used to be my favourite :(
Here's a Children in Need edition with a "This one goes up to eleven" question to save me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
The whole show was really easy, but at least it wasn't as bad as Celebrity Mastermind.Quote:
Originally Posted by Toby
Those lezzies on firstdates :drool: No doubt scissoring the crap out of each other after.
I'm absolutely all over Masterchef: The Professionals. There's some fatty fat baldy bastard in it who is an actual genius.
That guy who made a pie that wasn't meant to be a pie that clearly wasn't a pie is a disgrace.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
'I've deconstructed this pie.'
Mate, that's just dry chicken and what looks like some biscuits.
That woman there to date the cheery bald Geordie was horrendous, talking about going for a piss and fart smells.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeet
Absolutely nowhere else I could think of putting this, but Nadine Coyle is on a talk show here at the moment and time has not been kind to her.
The Mod development chef from Moray. :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
Haven't seen Eastenders in months and it happens to be on here. Sharon is trying to stop Phil drinking. How many times have they flogged that one now?
He also can't seem to break down a very light and rattly sounding bedroom door. Not great for a lad that knocked the fuck out of people for years.
EDIT: Is that fucking Richard Blackwood? :D
I'm hoping he gets back onto the harder stuff.
Smackhead Phil was glorious.
lol at binning them quality Asians for that fucking minstrel show. Every time I've seen them they've donned everyone shitless.
Wish I hadn't started following this bakeoff thing now. I want to go to bed.
This is interesting.
I saw it the other day, but I've just seen her calling herself 'just a normal person' after her (very good) performance. Get lost, love. I hope the minstrel show wins.Quote:
By the time Louisa made it to our screens, someone had bought her the handle @louisa on both Instagram and Twitter (where she’d previously been the less-memorable @louisajohnson0). That won’t have come cheap, and it was clearly an investment in anticipation of Louisa’s presence on the show setting her up for lucrative post-show stardom.
Minstrels.
:D/:nono:
That song really is dreadful.
'Mon Reggie 'N' Bollie.
Adele would probably get it, these days. :flirt:
I like the song. I'm biased because I'm a huge Dylan fan mind.
This shit is making the bake-off final an hour late :mad:
They'd have been better off doing the Alphaville 'version'.
Presumably it's some ruse to get the Dylan version to No.1 Cohen style (which Cowell probably also owns).
Rita Orra's boobies. :drool:
My parents were all happy Louisa won (tinged with a bit of racism and my dad's throbbing erection for Louisa) so I told them the details of that article to piss on their parade. It does my head in that they watch it religiously, take it all seriously and don't think it's manipulated to the extreme.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
My mental ex-girlfriend would ask me if I knew wrestling was fake ('yes, obviously'), and constantly moan about me watching it, yet lost her fucking shit when I ONCE asked her if she knew how fake X-Factor was.
After they did the ill-suited winners song, you could see that Bollie knew they'd been fucked over. In the interests of fairness they should have had Louisa do On A Ragga Tip surrounded by dancing Christmas trees.
Rita Ora seems like a right shit.
It was Burke and Jeff Buckley who managed the 1-2 double. Cohen charted but only in the mid-30s.Quote:
Originally Posted by niko_cee
Look at me! Top of the page!
Yeah, I remembered Jeff after the fact. Grace, Columbia records, owned by Sony.
:sherlock:
Never realised he did an album called Live from the Bataclan.
This Love You To Death documentary on BBC Two is grim viewing.
The 'rugby league community' nearly doing it (fuck off Andy Murray you Jock tosser). :cool:
It wasn't really that close.
He's the first league player to be nominated, and he got miles more than third place. He's donned it.
Glorious failure
Just discovered The Chase USA on Challenge. I love the British one but this has far too much whoopin' and hollerin' from the crowd.
David Gest and Gemma Collins in the Big Brother house?
Fucking hell.
Watching 4 in a bed cus why the fuck not. Fucking lol at hobbyist caterers and B&B owners, they're so prissy and take everything so personally. The couple I'm watching right now got so personally affronted cus the slightly more middle class couple brought their own rye bread, and only wanted poached eggs and beans off the menu. And the bloke went to the kitchen to politely ask for salt and pepper.
'It is bloody rude to bring your own food to breakfast', er, no it isn't. It is a business not a fucking dinner party. Also, turning the fact they didn't like sausages and bacon into a personal attack on them or something? Fuck sake.
I hate that programme.
I hate myself.
The worst thing about that programme is that when you go somewhere new you'll have to fight the urge not to search every room for pubes.
I request extra pubes when I book. No searching for me.
I bring my own, I hate having to settle extras on the bill.
Derren Brown.
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What happened?
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People fell for that?
So hang on - you're saying people in pressure situations make bad judgement calls?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raoul Duke
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A bad judgement call is maybe half arseing something. If that's just a bad judgement call then close the doors on the whole place already.Quote:
Originally Posted by Raoul Duke
You're such a dry cunt, Tobe. :D
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I'm sorry but I've found that sudden deaths of wealthy people can be exploited simply by announcing their death. Especially at events where wealthy donors are congregated.
Gemma fucking Arterton :drool:
Anyone watch that Jihadis Next Door programme tonight on Channel 4? Is it worth watching?
Stacey going off her head is literally the worst Eastenders story ever. Just kill/section her and let's move on.
Wahey, they're sectioning her. Thank God(!) for that.
Hang on. Isn't her mam also a mentalist?
The ferrety ginger guy who keeps turning up saying he needs to tell her something had about a million chances to tell her but instead stood there looking weird while she called him King Herod. Vintage Eastenders.
The bit on Monday where her complete lunacy happened to coincide with Kat feeling a bit shit that ended with Martin giving an 'it'll all be fine after all' smile made me want to punch the TV off the wall.
Hopefully it turns out she isn't mental and a vengeful God turns up in a fortnight with a plague or two for that twat.
Why the fuck are you all watching Eastenders?
They should swap the actors round for Martin and Ben. Martin's a wet blanket played by a fairly big chap, and then you've got Ben Mitchell who was described as the Toploader gay as having a mean and tough reputation without his grandparents instantly laughing themselves into a coma.
Coronation Street too for me now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
I watch it and all the other soaps on a Monday with my gran. It's quite a good way to watch them, actually, since about twenty minutes is taken up working out what's happened in the week since I last seen them, leaving ten minutes of tedium before the next one starts and the puzzle starts anew.
I used to watch Eastenders but stopped before the Dyer years. Last I seen of Stacy she was getting off with doing someone as Bradley took the rap before he died. Is that why she's going mad now?
She's bi-polar.
Can someone explain this Come Dine Champions thing. Who are the contestants and who's food are they cooking? Is it episode losers cooking the food of that weeks winner or what way are they doing it?
That French maitre d on First Dates is great.
Get a hobby mate.
:D
I do really need one. I was only watching that because I was sitting in the living room with my folks as it was freezing so I wanted the heat from the fire.
It's better than that horrid Undateables thing at least. Also, tattoo fixers has to be the assembly of the biggest shower of cunts ever put on TV.
Yeah it's actually quite nice sometimes. That lad with asperger's last night was a heartwarming story.
It just sounds like an episode of the undateables then.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
When they have tidy lezzers on though :drool:
It was nice. They liked each other and he was well made up.
I've been watching Shetland on BBC1, initially just because it's fun to spot the locations and any extras I know, but it's actually surprisingly good this series. The first two were the classic tepid water of BBC drama, but they've made darker and I think it's better for it.
I watched it last night and actually enjoyed it.
I've never been to unst or fetlar but it almost made Shetland look like a place I would want to visit. Then I remember the torture I went through when I lived there and come to my senses.
The fish was good though.
Do you mean that just as an aside? They haven't filmed in Unst or Fetlar to my knowledge.
The episode I watched they were touring the small islands up north.
Which, after digging, is because I was watching "grand tours of the Scottish islands" and not Shetland.
:moop:
Won't be of interest to many but looking forward to the new one of these. The last one with David Bentley in it was decent.
No idea who the American Football player is but most people would know of Steve Harmison.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFbBHTcHy2c
I can't understand the new Scottish family on Gogglebox, especially the woman.
I ended up seeing that tonight. The Lawrie/Hiddleston thing looks like something I would have watched and now it's ruined.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahow
Also, Church would still get one after seeing her on The Last Leg.
Hour long Neighbours special for somebody getting deaded. THE MOST EXPLOSI... Stop right there. Some of us remember the plane crash. :drool:
That must be the lowest budget for an explosion on tv ever.
I saw the beginning of that as I was leaving my gran's. Since when is Toadfish a fucking lawyer?
Since about 2001.
I remember him being a pleb with a mullet. It must have been far longer than I thought since I last saw it.
Proper emergency services could have cut him out of that. Having one doctor has worked for twenty years, but it's fucked them here.
Apart from Toadfish, are any of the old crew still knocking around in it? Helen Daniels is probably still mooching about looking stern, I bet.
Why are some Simpsons randomly square and some not? The stupid black sides on the screen are annoying as fuck.
The older ones were shot in 4:3.
I've seen ones from series 21 shown like this though, and some not. The one on Sky One at the moment is from 19 and is square.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahow
Checking Wiki, it says that The Simpsons only went to 4:3 in 2009.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
The last episode in 4:3 was in series 20.
It also depends what TV you watch them on. Some will automatically adjust the older ones to fit the widescreen.
I think whether it is square or not is the last of a post-season 10 Simpsons episode's worries.
They're square if you watch them on Channel 4 HD.
Who died in Neighbours by the way?
Bouncer.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Some pointless lad called Josh, who is (was) played by Steph Scully's actual in real life son. Finding that out might be the oldest thing that has ever happened to me.
Josh. He's the surprisingly buff nerdy one with a plastic face isn't he? RIP.
That pretty much describes them all (even Ringo, who was buff with an eating disorder), but yes. I stopped watching it for years, but I've got back into it now, and, whilst it's never going to hit the heights of 2004-2008 (looking back, I reckon Paul Robinson's shit Scottish kid ruined it), it's actually decent.
I watch it once or twice a week, depending on how often I visit my parents and think it's alright.
Steph is fitter than she ever was, but I'm not sure if that's cos she's not next to Holly Valance in every other scene, or whether it's because I'm an adult and fancy women now, or if she's actually improved.
Some parts are utter poo but it still has its charm.
She must have had work done because she used to have a fierce ropey mannish head on her.
Anyone watching Masterchef?
Haven't caught too much but have it on series record.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
On Australian rubbish, I see two episodes of Home and Away a week and they seem to have abandoned any pretense of it actually being a soap. It's basically a frothy crime drama.
It's still full of irresponsibly beautiful people, they just shoot eachother and set houses on fire now instead of cheating on eachother and going surfing.
Juanita looks like she's going to go on and win Masterchef.
That pork dish looked brilliant.
Anyone watch the first episode of 'The Jail: 60 Days In' in CI last night? Looks like it'll be good value going forward; one of the bods, a fucking thick cunt of a teacher, is on the verge of being done in already after spectacularly fucking up his entrance.
This twelve year old singing on Britain's Got Talent is good. Too good, in fact. To the point where it's a bit unnerving.
Peggy Mitchell is doing herself in, and things have gone a bit It's a Wonderful Life.
My gran went mental over Ben and the tart fucking off that stupid dinner last night. She wants 'that poof with the curly hair' done in for encouraging Ben to stay in the pub.
It's a bit much to bring Peggy and Grant back just so she can top herself. Is that really what they're doing?
Pretty much. Eastenders is boring.
At least it (probably) keeps your mum quiet for half an hour though.
My viewing stopped at Danny Dyer.
When Phil Mitchell and Richard Blackwood (the properly black one) were feuding as part of the big Christmas story, she came up with a theory that it would turn out that they were half-brothers, and I literally spent the next three months explaining why 'how things actually work' made that was impossible.
They did it seems. Absolutely bizarre route to take.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
Last week Sonia Fowler had the line 'I love my boobs', Eastenders talk really should be in the Golden Age thread.
Watching that latest Louis Theroux documentary about people recovering from brain damage. That poor bastard with the brain damaged wife. You'd just be wishing she'd died in that situation.
There is a programme about fraternities on BBC2 now. Mert, mate. You're all bent.
Just about to post the same thing. Looks tragic thus far.
"Nearly half US presidents hail from a fraternity..."
I.e. less than half.
This pitch on Dragons Den is so stupid, especially as you can buy half sized pencils easily and they're in schools EVERYWHERE.
Oh or just steal them from IKEA or even just sharpen normal pencils down.
Been watching CBB for the first time in years. That Saira woman is AWFUL.
I noticed that was on last night.
Why can't they make reality TV shows that are decent? Like some sort of psychological experiment or something. Make a reality show of the Stanford prison experiment.
Big Brother started off seeming like a genuinely interesting psychological experiment. Throw some people together, isolate them from the world, and film the results. I think it had been on a couple of years before they started all the stupid stuff.
Yeah, I was kind of thinking back to it as well. The first seasons of it were okay. They just had normal people in it. Now it's only knobheads who are trying to become Z-list celebrities or in the case of the 'celebrity' version, actual Z-list celebrities.
Z-list is being kind to most of them in there.
That was the coolest thing about reality TV's faltering first steps. You had Big Brother, Castaway and that stupid Channel 4 one called Shattered where a house full of people had to stay awake for a fortnight RISKING ACTUAL DEATH!
I can't believe Big Brother is still a thing both here in the States and over there as well.
edit:
The first couple seasons of most reality "game" shows weren't bad.
Then you get all the "I'm basing my strategy off of..." shite and then the producers trying to force certain angles for the failing ratings.
CBB this season has been fucking excellent, fuck the haters.
There are more ethnics on this Bake Off than there are outside of the South East.
Has anyone ever tried to use 'My5' (Channel 5's on demand service)?
The video won't seem to load for me on it at all. I even turned off AdBlock in case that was the problem.
It works in Microsoft Edge for some reason.
Celebrity Big Brother on catch up?
Home and Away.
It's Friday evening and at 9pm on BBC1 it's Goodnight Sweetheart. Goodnight fucking Sweetheart.
What the fuck do any of you pay a licence fee for?
I don't.
My fee goes to Adam Woodyatt's catering.
On ITV right now, new lows in television are being reached.
Fuck off mate, Stephen Mulhern is a don.
He's on an absolutely steaming pile of shite at the moment anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahow
I saw him hosting some gameshow earlier today on ITV called 'Pick Me!'. It seemed like the only people in it (both contestants and audience, although the former came from the latter anyway) were special needs.
It seemed to have some sort of call my bluff format and the one who had to pick who was telling the truth from the other three seemed to feel like she had been seriously betrayed when it turned out the person she chose was lying. That's the entire point of the game. She said 'It just goes to show who you can trust these days.' I thought she was going to cry.
Sure enough, when the camera picked her out later when she was in the audience because they were re-calling some of the contestants who hadn't won, she actually was in tears.
There was someone on this earlier naming pokemon that was definitely a spo. Must be a thing.
I've just switched it on, fucking hell.
A man on a pogo stick going up 3 steps, grabbing a drink and then going back down the stairs to pour the drink into a large container.
For one fucking thousand pounds.
A definite autistic here too.
Yep and that was even before his skill was revealed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
What a shit performance.
Obviously not autistic enough.
Just caught around half an hour of this Cold Feet thing that everyone is wanking themselves into oblivion over. Do you have to have seen the old ones to 'get it', because it's an awful pile of shite. Is it meant to be a comedy?
I just can't stand that cunt Nesbitt. It doesn't matter how good it is.
I know he's had the hair done, but his eyebrows are stealing every scene he's in.
This 'Honey G' character on the X Factor is some sort of wind up isn't she? Is it Catherine Tate? Don't get me wrong, she's probably the best thing to ever come out of the show, but she can't be real. It's her interviews that crack me up the most.
"That's ... one pound a game."Quote:
Originally Posted by wullie
They're doubling up on the 'what will they do next OMG' acts on X-Factor with her and the supergays. The boy with the eyes you could dive into is clearly set up to win it all.
Yevrah, mate, this gay murder trial in Eastenders has a black male judge with two black women as his assistants (or whatever those people are called). Both of the barristers were white, but the lad said he was guilty, so they're irrelevant.
Now they're all stood in the pub wearing 'END HATE CRIME' t-shirts listening to Ben Mitchell musing on a more tolerant world. Remember when you killed Fat Heather, you four-eyed sanctimonious cunt?
Speaking of 'ev, is that haggard Shirley wench still vodkaing the shit out of it?
I love the about-turns some characters get. Beale's mental son went from shooting his wife in the womb to being the most toothless gimp in the space of a month.
Sharon Osborne is either off her face or having some sort of psychotic episode on X Factor.
I only found out what this is today. It either has to be that, or she must have had a whopping mental breakdown at some point that stripped her of all self-awareness.Quote:
Originally Posted by niko_cee
I'm surprised that not only did the public vote out the world-class gays but also the judges didn't save them based on them being fun and wearing costumes. The foreign girl's out next.
They were done for once they were up against a Sharon contestant - the only hope they had was for her and Louis to collude and send it to the public vote. Plus they were just awful. If you're going to be flaming, you have to be fun with it. They just came across as mincers with a sense of entitlement.
What is it about people from Finland? Does their personality simply not translate into English or are they all emotionless drones? Who's met Pen?
Ginger lad on Great British Menu this week is smashing the shit out of it. Doing so many elements and, seemingly, absolutely nailing them.
I'd happily dive head first into both of his dishes thus far.
I thought the guy last week was good but he's taken it up another level.
Will need to fuck it up now to not hit the best score ever.
CBB back tonight. Jamie O'Hara is on there, and seems boring as fuck already. James Cosmo my early fave. Hoping the unbearable cunts provide as much fun as the last season, which was top notch.
I saw a little bit of it earlier as my parents were watching it. Brandon Block seems like such a sad old man.
New series of the Crystal Maze confirmed :cool:
I can't even comprehend that taking place outside 1993.
With Richard Ayoade though.
Burn it with fire.
Or without Richard O'Brien.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
Not sure there are any showmen of his calibre out there anymore, they all have to be ironic twats now. Like Richard Ayoade.
Judge Rinder could give it a go.
Surprised it isn't Alexander Armstrong. He'd be perfect for it and he's on everything else.
What? Ah for fucks sake.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
I thought Stephen Merchant was pretty good on the Christmas special they did, although he was really just doing a Richard O'Brien impression.
Richard Ayoade is great.
Yeah, I really like him too.
IT Crowd was fantastic.
Richard Ayoade (like David Mitchell) is only funny to people whose entire comedic intake is Twitter-based snark.
I don't think David Mitchell is all that funny. He's just a bit annoying now.
Ayoade isn't really that snarky though.
That's why I was pleased as I thought he'd be doing it. Ayoade is just a smartarse twat.Quote:
Originally Posted by wullie
I've only seen Ayoade in IT Crowd but IT Crowd is one of my favorite shows ever so I'm biased.
I love it myself, which is why I was extra disappointed when he turned up on everything else and was mostly shit.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Toadie's long-dead wife just turned up in Neighbours pleading memory loss. You did this with Harold Bishop, you boring cunts.
Mate, get a job.
Home and Away is the better of the Aussie soaps now, and it's also complete drivel. They seem desperate to turn it into a hardboiled crime story, but there's a family in witness protection who must be ready to move and change their names on a moment's notice yet one of them somehow has a good enough CV to be the head of emergency in the local hospital and another can get a business loan while unemployed to buy out the local restaurant.
Sunset Beach was better than both of them in the shit soap category.
As for other Aussie TV shows, Round the Twist shits all over both too.
The only reality TV I watch is Masterchef and Masterchef: The Professionals. Everything else can die.
I would make time for it even if I was employed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Round The Twist was crap once you got past the brilliant theme tune.
What was that book where some shit cunt from England moved over to Australia and opened an orange fish and chip shop (or something)? We read it in primary school and it was so amazing dreaming about hope and Australia rather than the dreadful, dreary scenery that surrounded me both physically and emotionally.
Might read it again, actually.
EDIT: Misery Guts! And also didn't they make a TV show about it?
:(Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Fucking hell. Do you need a hug or something?Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I had to read about Chip and Bill or some other aryan cunts that the Tory government probably made up to justify the poll tax. I can only imagine that under Blair they were retconned into being black and from a broken home, although the vile bitch Jacqueline Wilson more or less had that covered.
I hated the books I had to read at school.
They were all so dull.
Going home and reading Goosebumps though :cool:
Biff and Chip, Jimmy? Hairy Maclary was a total don. Spot The Dog was cool, too.
Was Pugwall Australian? My underrated favourite was The Wayne Manifesto. Had a boss theme tune and all.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
As for Dee returning it was a bit turd reusing the washed up on a beach story again, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.
Biff and Chip (and Kipper) feature in my daughter's phonics books. All still super white.
They have an Asian family who live next door and the granddad is a dead ringer for Rupert Murdoch, which I'm sure is intended on some level.
The Dee return was a bit underplayed. They had Toadie saying a photo of her could be anyone despite it being a crystal clear hi-res picture of her face, and then she just turns up at the door to say hi. At least with Harold Bishop they went off and found him living a secret life in the Salvation Army.
Has Lou Carpenter died?
How can she have been missing, didn't she die in the most hilarious car crash ever?
The story is that she couldn't swim in her wedding dress, got swept away, thumped her head and got some memory/depression problems, and then BOTTLED showing her face for a decade (she referred to Steph Scully and Max Hoyland [legend] getting married, which must have been about eighteen months after the crash). Oh. Fair enough, love. You just take your time.
Lou Carpenter is still alive, and he pops up every now and again claiming to have been in Cambodia for six months, but never going into any detail. Right. Back away.
Swept away in a lake? I feel like neighbours is betraying me here, KK should out her as an imposter. He's still around right? Because there's basically no point without him.
Karl and Susan still being together was the biggest surprise, he must have been off with a load of floozies in the past decade going by previous form.
It was in the sea (he crashed a minibus coming back from a wedding as well about ten years ago, the fucking jinx). Karl Kennedy is still around, fulfilling the roles of about a dozen medical professionals by himself. That's probably how his wife only had MS for about three months until it became inconvenient to write around.
Neighbours. :drool:
I need to get back on it.
Didn't the actual Dee have something go badly wrong with her in real life which led to her swift departure? And by the time she was fixed she had bigger fish to try with that Melburnian prostitute series, which I presume has run its course.
I don't know. I'm not that into it.
Does anyone watch Silent Witness? I watched last night's episode and thought it was pretty bad but I was still intrigued by what happened. Put tonight's on and they were basically ripping off Buried so turned it off.
That main woman and that Northern Irish lad are shit actors too.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/articl...ng-dragons-den
I'm going to miss Nick, I liked him a lot.
Neighbours has aced it with this Dee return.
Toggle Spoiler
This 'Five Gold Rings' on ITV is so shit and yet I can't turn it over.
It's spot the ball with two teams of dickheads.
I don't think they've ever made a good TV show in their history. Thankfully I don't even have the channel any more to land on it by accident.
How do you not have ITV1?
Also, The Chase is amazing.
Edit: Doc Martin is mega too.
They replaced it a few years ago with UTV Ireland, then that recently folded but ITV proper never returned. TV3 still shows an awful lot of their shit here still unfortunately (coronation street, emmmerdale farm, xfactor, the assault course thing, etc). Don't get Ch5 either.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
EDIT: Doc Martin? I stand by my happiness at the lack of ITV.
It's great how they just write Paul Robinson new kids/ex-wives in whenever it suits.
That little kid bitchslapping Amanda Holden :drool:
Professional kitchen episode on Masterchef. Ugh.
Make my food exactly as I have shown you.
I hate 'DJ Lyndsay' so much.
Although that was obvious as soon as her name was popped up with that spelling.
Samantha Mumba is presenting some tripe on TV this evening (basically a thing like the One Show). The head hasn't aged the best, and the forehead is still far too big, but she has a serious set of cans on her.
I've just seen that the Great British Menu is back.
http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2017-...-double-hooray
But that? Fucking hell :face:
Must have missed the above post. Was this the first week? Only caught the end tonight.
Also, proper Masterchef episode after a week of toss :cool:
Yeah, it was the first week.
A Michelin star chef that's not an absolute cock. I didn't think such a thing existed.
Just watched that @Giggles. He's a cracking bloke.
Paul Ainsworth? He's brilliant and a top bloke.
He was brilliant on the Great British Menu too.
http://www.thecriticalcouple.com/upl...26852_orig.jpg
Glorious.
The banter on Pointless is gone to fuck :face:
I've never watched Great British Menu before. I'm literally so fucking hooked. "I liked how you caramelised the onion, the presentation was good . . . . . . HOWEVER"
It's amazing.
Still the best moment ever was when Johnnie Mountain walked out in a fit of SEETHE after Marcus Wareing gave his dish 2 years ago.
He used to have a place next to my wife's office in london. It was absolute shite and lasted about 6 months.
Yeah, although it wasn't there, it was on Aldersgate Street and this was probably more like 2010/11.
When do we get normal Crystal Maze instead of this C-Lister shite? It was bad enough that they got Ayoade.
'Celebrity' Masterchef starts tonight.
Quote:
1. Rachel Stevens, Former S Club 7 star
2. Rebecca Adlington, Olympic champion
3. Vic Reeves (Jim Moir), Comedian
4. Angellica Bell, TV presenter
5. Ulrika Jonsson, Presenter
6. Stephen Hendry, Snooker champion
7. Patti Boulaye, Singer
8. Lesley Garrett, Singer
9. Jaymi Hensley, Union J singer
10. Henri Leconte, French tennis ace
11. Debbie McGee, Paul Daniels' widow
12. Tyger Drew-Honey, Outnumbered actor
13. Brian Bovell, Film actor
14. Nick Moran, Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels star
15. Reverend Kate Bottley, from Gogglebox
16. Julia Somerville, Presenter
17. Abdullah Afzal, Comedian
18. Dev Griffin, Radio 1 DJ
19. Barney Harwood, Children's TV presenter
20. Aasmah Mir, Scottish broadcaster
Dev to win. :cool:
Is Angellica Bell still fit?
Adlington is one of my shameful lustages so 'mon her.
I hate 'The reverend' goes out quick, she's a twat and seems to become worse with every extra bit of fame she garners.
I couldn't agree more with both parts of a post.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
Actually scratch the first part, I was thinking of Pendleton.
More importantly, who will Ulrika shag?
In Pointless just now the final question was about Olympic jumping event medalists. They went for Greg Rutherford, Bob Beamon, and Carl Lewis as long jumpers. Every long jump medallist since 1968 or something was a pointless answer other than those three. Unlucky, lads.
Today's Pointless has a man with one of those electronic voice boxes being almost impossible to understand. He could claim he said just about anything for any answer and I'd buy it.
Finally caught up with Masterchef and my word does Rachel Stevens look fucking amazing, she looks better now than the S Club 7 days.
New Project Binky :drool:
X-Factor.
Rak-su are quality.
:rave:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-41817713
Prue Leith apparently tweeted who won Bake Off this morning.
Lol at all the Twitter wankers who had it spoiled.
Why the fuck doesn't the article say who she said won it?
Because they don't want to spoil it...
Ah, found it.
I've just stuck it on mine anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
The winner is...Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Toggle Spoiler
Because it's an article about her being a shit for spoiling it. It'd be a bit mad for them to do the same thing while slapping her for it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Can we bet on the winner? :eyemouth:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Toggle Spoiler
Just finished watching it, she was always going to win. Sophie has been nailed on to win for weeks.
So long as Phteven didn't.
Marcus Wareing is a don.
Amir Khan heading into the "I'm the Celebrity" jungle not seeing the actual program.
Muppet.
People also dug up a [since deleted] 2012 tweet where someone asked if he’d go in and he said no because it was for has-beens.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleb
Joey Barton claims he turned down £500k to do it.
Not to worry Khan is earning £250k to do this according to my mother.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-42057367
Paul Hollywood has accused former Bake Off presenters and fellow judge Mary Berry of "abandoning" the show.
Mary Berry, along with presenters Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins, left the programme when it was announced it was moving to Channel 4.
Speaking to the Radio Times, Hollywood said the criticism he received when he decided to stay was "not fun".
Shots fired.
This is proper lol though:
He said he "became the most hated man in the country".
I read that and laughed. Mate, the reason you're hated is because you're an orange gorilla who pervs on every female contestant under the age of 25 and cheats on his wife.
Not anymore. She's left him. :huhu:Quote:
Originally Posted by Byron
I'd die a happy man if I was to the balls in Gemma Atkinson at the time.
Anybody who has bread as their baking prowess deserves to be on a register.
Len Goodmans Partners in Rhyme is the worst thing I think I've ever seen on TV. Who the fuck thought giving him a quiz to host would have been a good idea or is it some parting gift from the BBC?
I only saw the first minute or so of it the other week but can confirm it was one of the worst televisual minutes of my life. Not even 'BBC funny'.
I'd think of it more as a parting fuck off. If that format had more than fifteen seconds of thought put into it I'd be stunned.
I can't help but think of Edward Norton's character in Primal Fear whenever I see Craig on the professional Masterchef. Hopefully Roy manifests and stabs Greg in the final.
Not before he gives Wareing a kick in the neck I hope.
:D
I had Marcus in for the stabbing originally, then thought Greg would probably be the better victim. If only so he doesn't blight the schedule with so many other programmes.
Wareing is all wrong on the telly. Like a Shakesperean actor who can't get work as King Lear or Duncan trying to play a TV chef.
The League of Gentlemen is back for some Christmas specials. Fucking hell if it's shit.
I've recently been watching (re-watching in some cases) everything they've ever done, so horribly underrated.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Inside No. 9 is extremely hit and miss, but Psychoville never got anywhere near the praise it deserved.
It's done in such a way that the misses don't really matter though.
LoG itself is also underrated, I guess they're just too dark to do numbers.
This Dating In The Dark on ITVBe at the moment :D
Proper Reality TV cringe this.
Aye. Especially the way series two went.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
I remember not being too keen on the LOG last series at the time as it was a bit of a departure but it stands up really well, high hopes and crossed fingers for this.
Just watched the first one of the new League of Gentlemen, spot on I thought.
Why is Eastenders making Max Branning out to be the villain in all of this? Man was set up.
NOT shit. :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
They needed another three half hours really, although the fact that I'm saying that probably means it's good that they didn't.
Can you let this twat know that you and your four million pound house liked it?
Was it not always shit?
What does he think he's watching exactly? Two paragraphs on fucking Kes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
I'm calling bullshit on the bit about him hearing exactly what his teacher whispered over the sound of the television.
He sounds like a complete arsehole.
Ed Miliband turned up on the Last Leg tonight and you've never seen such stilted delivery of obviously prepared material. Took three attempts and a hilariously shaky arm to get on the back of a motorcycle on the way out too.
Ed Miliband making fun of himself is the only thing that stops people realising he is the most tragic figure in British politics.
He's back on now dressed as Santa giving out gifts, like toilet roll with Jacob Rhys Mogg's face on it, or Mogg Roll as it's been dubbed. Properly tragic.
He's there to plug his fucking podcast. :D
Celeb Big Brother starts tomorrow. Dapper Laughs to win with ease? :sick:
I've landed on this Taskmaster thing for the first time but, as much as I like Davies and Dave Gorman, the sum total of fuck all has happened so far. Is it just a chat show kind of thing and the 'tasks' are secondary or less?
Stick with it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
It got better. Are these new or old? It's hard to know on Dave.
The head on Al Murray makes me think fairly recent.
Al Murray was in S2 or 3 but none of them are very old, I think they rattled through five series in about two years.
Watched most of it twice now I think. Dave Gorman's potato snowman has to be up there as one of the best bits.
Anyone else watching Celebrity Big Brother? It's absolutely class. I'm properly loving it.
There's a disabled transvestite on Pointless today, they're really trying to get the quotas filled.
God, you're such a prick.
Looks like Lofty.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
I can now see her in a rollercoaster.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
When are you and Magic going on?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
The bloke that runs the thing told me that no professionals are allowed. I said I'm not a professional, he said that I should be and that I'd probably be the best in the country. Told him I wasn't interested as I'm making shit loads out of computers.Quote:
Originally Posted by Disco
That and you have to be in a room with more than four people at once.
Professionally pointless. Sounds correct.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
If I brushed up on my soaps and rubbish cocktails, that is to say cocktails, I reckon I could turn pro on the Pointless circuit.
I would throw the game and then call that lanky one a dickhead.
He looks like the type of guy that could throw a copper over the Lamb pub in Chichester though and that's the real quiz.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
He's right though.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
Do chatrooms count?Quote:
Originally Posted by Disco
The prize money on Pointless is ridiculously bad.
I was just saying that. Catchphrase in the mid 90s was more lucrative
Catchphrase wasn't on daily.
They could at least jazz up the Saturday night charidee one.
Who's Going To Be A Millionaire is coming back and it'll be presented by *checks notes* Jeremy Clarkson?
Did the gays on Gogglebox split up? I see one of them with some old woman now.
They split years ago and one of them is married to another guy.
https://inews.co.uk/culture/channel-...ow-five-years/
The other one left so they stuck the one who didn't want to leave with his Mum.
They were never a couple, were they?
And how you could not pick the 'old woman' as that guy's mum is beyond me. They look almost identical.
The remaining gay is the best person on the programme (which is crap).
He seems to have stopped waving his filthy fucking bare feet in front of the camera now at least.
They were at the start.Quote:
Originally Posted by niko_cee
Also, the kid with an annoying Mum and Sister has an apprenticeship at number 10:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz...reak-show.html
He looks more like his Dad in that first photo than he ever did on the show.
The sister finally became fatter than the dad last year. Has she kept expanding?
What is the point of that homeless looking Angelos cunt with the plastic bag? About as funny as piles.
No idea what you're watching but I think he's great. He's No George Dawes though.
He was on Pointless.
People actually watch Gogglebox? :|
It wouldn't be on if they didn't.
Well obviously middle-aged women watch it. I mean people who I have stuff in common with.
You'll all be watching that Mrs Browns shite next.
I just watch whatever's on after I flick around a bit.
I used to watch it, stopped some time last year though.
There was just too many annoying dickheads.
The Mrs was watching some dancing thing earlier (our equivalent of Strictly) and Conor McGregor's sister looks like she'd ride you into the middle of next month.
All in on Nawamin.
He's shat it.
Kenny!
David Mitchell really is an utter bastard.
Arry is going to be like Jimmy with those accents.
https://www.sportsjoe.ie/amp/footbal...agement-157261
Why do they need to keep forcing sob stories down our throats on reality TV shows?
BGT et al would be so much better without them.
That's what sells to middle aged housewives and dipshit teenagers.
Aren't they tired of it now?
Aren't you?
All those shows are just about the judges playing up to the audience. Tripe.
I like the actual talent.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Mug. :rosebud:
They're having a laugh with this little twat as a judge on Crème de la Crème. How the fuck can some cunt who didn't even win the normal bakeoff judge stuff about ten levels higher than that one is operating at?
This Time Next Year has to be the worst thing ever put on television.
I hate it. I hope there's some horror stories that come out of it about people realising the resignations were real and they couldn't be rehired.
Ruby (the Indian) and the Frenchie on Bake Off :drool:
This whole story involving Ryan 'punching' Roxanne in Celebrity Big Brother is crazy. She has committed career suicide.
Aye, he was just shadow boxing. Maybe she was just looking for a way out but there's better ways to do that.
I'm not sure if it's because I watch less British TV now than I ever did our if they're just scraping the barrel, but I haven't a clue who 90% of all the ones on this series of Celebrity MasterChef are.
I've heard of 5 on the whole series, and one of those I only know as the rentboy-looking one from Strictly, rather than his actual name.
One of the all time great showings on University Challenge right now. London - Institute in Paris (what the fuck?) being led by some mook wearing a beret, all the way to about 10 points. Dear lord.
The tossers trying to be the next cult hit really do ruin it.
I've considered the optimum team balance for University Challenge a lot, because I'm that kinda guy, but I've come to accept that it's more important to just have one absolute freak who knows everything. Pretty sure there's been teams who've gotten to the semis and beyond with 2 of the team contributing about 40 points over the entire series.
Also, despite generally being against bullshit convoluted tournament structures, I love the fact the first round lasts about 4 months, because being a vaguely well-read academic jack of all trades gets about 70 points a week, then it gets to the second round and I'm pleased if i get a couple of bonuses.
Oh, and obviously the best bit of the show is the brief moments of smugness when the toff wankers reckon a Pulp song is by Pearl Jam or something.
I can proudly say that I have never intentionally watched a single second of University Challenge.
Correct, having a well balanced array of knowledge will always lose to Monkman or Guttenplan blowing the doors off.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
State of that can of shite on the Great British Menu. Is it a wig?
I don't believe it is.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
He's always got mental hair.
I've just sat through ten minutes of League of Gentlemen. Was Mark Gatiss in it all?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Yeah he was in loads of it. The Butcher being genuinely one of the creepiest characters. The terrible Vet being the funniest imo.
Took me most of it to figure out who he was. It'd have been two minutes otherwise.
I need to watch the Anniversary Specials.
Has that one on the bake off had surgery to look oriental?
If Ruby doesn't win tonight we riot.
Of course Kim-Joy and her husband met at a board games meeting.
:D
Said the same thing.
I suppose Cosplay might have been in the running.
She's the most stereotypical weeb ever.Quote:
Originally Posted by niko_cee
I hate her so much.
Bullshit.
The tent needs to be burned to the ground.
Thank god she didn't win. She seemed to be getting quite cocky as well, but her seething at any negative comments always made the show, particularly at the end there.
Rahul was good enough so fair play
I thought this season was a bit shit. Standard seemed a fair bit lower than previous years and not many particularly likeable contestants. I lost interest once the Welsh bloke and Manon were gone.
The technical in the final was a disgrace.
Agreed. It was just an overblown dip-making/lolling exercise. It was impossible to get right through anything other than blind luck - but then again, in the final the first two challenges are entirely redundant. You'd have to actually shit on a plate twice to make it anything other than a showstopper-showdown. The whole series has been wank and Kim-Joy winning it might just have been the nail in the coffin for it.
Nothing will ever top Bingate.
https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-st...9170409-25.gif
Lol at you peoples’ scathing hatred of Kim-Joy. She was great honestly.
Final technical was ass though
Lego Masters is back next week.
Lego :drool: :cool:
Christ they've given that Liam wanker off Bake Off his own show.
He's a cool guy but there's no way he should have a fucking TV show. I read about it and apparently it's pure ass
He's a likeable fellow who was on a super popular show.
I'm surprised it took them this long.
Did anyone else see John Stones' doppelganger on Masterchef tonight?
Has he got a twin brother?
RTÉ have some show on about the election here in 1918 but it's done like as if it was today with reports from counts and all. Fucking hell :D
Sweet lamb of Jesus.
I wonder who'll win this time.
It's all on tenterhooks at the moment. Not sure what way it'll go.Quote:
Originally Posted by Disco
After years of convincing. Im finally decided to start watching some recommended tv shows. All ive heard is tv shows like breaking bad, sons of anarchy, john snow, etc. Currently on episode 6 of the making of a murderer and it is very interesting. No idea how they can record the story in real time. How is stuff like that even possible.
What happened 100 year ago? Is that when you dumped our lot?Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Nothing really, was more just the election that showed people in general turning towards independence (plus women got the vote) after Britains fuck up in 1916. Token independence didn't happen until 1921 and not properly until 1949.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Some might say proper independence still hasn't happened.
Fantasists. We've no more claim to there than we have to Scotland, England, or Wales.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
I can't wait until it does happen and half a million loyalist refugees are welcomed onto the mainland with street parties. Vote Leave, Take Back Control.
Odd (sorry Jim). I quite like the concept, if it wad a landmark election that changed everything, but for a bit of a nothing election it seems like a waste of time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
That said, I'd watch a re-enactment of Gordan Brown's premiership. We could have David Mitchell calling Helen Mirren a racist old cunt before selling a truck load of gold to Bruce Lee for £7.50.
Get Jimmy and Lewis on the script.
It was landmark for the fact it was a SF landslide showing what appetite people had for freedom. They were still UK Westminster elections though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
John Snow isn't a programme sincere.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Channel 4 News is though.
They've fucking re-made Magnum PI. State of the cunt in it too.
@Baz mate, did you just do Flithy Dancing? :baz:
I don’t even understand that question.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleb
Exose (who was also on Bake Off: The Professionals) is absolutely smashing it in Masterchef.
The dessert he made today inspired by banoffee pie looked the business.
The Renault Clio ad about the two girls and their liquor license is one of the best adverts Ive seen in a long time. Emotional.
https://youtu.be/MrNCVAqbCD0
All I see is an advert advocating cheating. Why did she get married at all?
Also why does nearly every ad now have to have a croaky sleepy sounding female version of a song in the background?
Yes. And every trailer has a slow cover of a much better song.
The sub-Mumford together in electric dreams cover in that cider advert makes me want to go teetotal.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shindig
Or postal. Hateful advert.
You say that but in the early skills test he appeared never to have heard of an artichoke. Are they not looking for something a bit more rounded than flamboyant cake baking?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
He got through that first round entirely on the back of Monica fancying him.
That Robbie Williams Tiger thing looks like mankind’s worst creation.
They'd better not ruin The Tiger Who Came For Tea. :mad:
The Tiger Who Came. There, it's ruined.
What’s this?Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
The thing they’re talking about above. I couldn’t think of the name but he’s singing in the ad that’s on about 800 times a day. It looks fucking awful.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG4f-GgddvcQuote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Oof. Just watch this instead.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoLasHK-jHE
Scots is bollocks.
This real person/hologram thing on Sky One is extremely well executed.
Why is everything on TV so dreary and downbeat?
Currently the options on terrestrial are something murders, something about people being abused in the church, something about A&E, whatever freak show is on 5, and Tottenham Hotspur.
Why can't there be something cheerful and/or uplifting on ever?
Love Island, mate.
Love Island is the end of days. It's Big Brother but conceived by a twelve year old boy whose mum has put the parental lock on his internet.
This Channel 4 show on amazon is the most hastily thrown together shite I’ve seen in a long time. It’s like a kids show.
Why do they repeat the kitchen episodes of the Great British Menu on the weekend but never the judges episode (ie, the only good bit)?
I prefer the kitchen bits as I find the chefs much more interesting.
More chefs > Judges.
It’s still very odd that they’d repeat the whole week bar the last episode of it.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00...casts/upcomingQuote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Says it's on tomorrow.
Also, I had no idea that it was the finals already next week :(
Eastenders has gone really fucking weird.
Shiiiiiii....
Maya Jama though :drool:
I’m just waiting for James Acaster to be presenting the news and weather because he’s on fucking everything else lately. What’s exactly does he do?
Also, Mahow is correct. She is some bit of biscuit.
Says stupid shit in a stupid voice with his stupid face.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
James Acaster is great.
Says the shit Brother with a shit hand and a shit satellite dish.
It just seems to be “I’m wackily shit at everything me” *make gormless face* etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Is he a stand up or something?
He's autistic.
Job for life on channel 4 then.Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
He has done stand up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
I legit didn't know he was autistic. If that isn't proof that that shit is some made-up nonsense/I'm autistic the I don't know what does.
He isn't autistic.
Speaking of which, what’s the deal with having that woman comedian on telly all the time that can’t talk. I know it’s all everyone for everything these days and disabilities are channel 4’s wet dream but she’s a comedian that can’t talk. You don’t hire a lad with no arms to build you a wall.
There is always an awkward pause after her punchlines because the audience doesn't know whether she's finished or just struggling to speak.
Can I get a picture? That actress that came on WILTY and one or two of these news reporters/weather girls genuinely put me off my food, I mean fucking hell, I'm all for pretending they're human but fs.
A mate who is an agent for comedians said James Acaster is a massive massive knobhead.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.bel...-38424366.html
I read this when looking for his autistism tales and he sounds it tbf. I imagine it's hard not to be as a comedian.
I'm not familiar with him, but Josh Widdicombe isn't funny, and he must obviously be the better one if I know who he is, so he must be terrible.
Acaster has a bit more about him compared to those fucking fiat 500 cretins like Widdicombe (and Lycett who I subconsciously associate with Acaster for some reason).
I would look into it, but I'm not having panel show clips filling my recommends for the next five years, so I'll just have to stick with my assumption.
Fair.
As if our genuinely (genuinely) top-tier sports punditry wasn't enough, the third half dot co dot uk is funnier than all of this telly comedy wank. Yevrah should host a podcast on Zoom.
Who is this? :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
There's a comedian with (is it cerebral palsy?) whose speech is very slurred, can't remember her name.
I got into a spat with a bloke with cerebral palsy on a cricket field last year. We were already exchanging sarky comments and then I noticed he had one tiny hand and was favouring one side when he ran. I took a couple of balls to work out whether it was OK to be in this feud, but then decided he was being a knobhead so it was fair game. At one point I had 'You are losing your team this game single-handedly' quite innocently on the tip of my tongue and only buttoned it in the very nick of time.
Fierce Queen.
Rosie Jones.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Never seen her but that face has me seething to next week.
Chinchilla features and mad eyes. Run for your lives.
Anyone watching any of the bad obsession motorsport shows on YouTube?
Fucking love the masked singer.
https://youtu.be/njydexJaggkQuote:
Originally Posted by Don
:happycry:
Did Crufts even happen this year?
There is a woman on the terrible quiz show Lightning called Pooee...
She's a children's entertainer and I imagine she gets loads of laughs just at her name.
The Circle is back for a third series though I fear they have gone too far up their own arse. The original was quite an inspired idea. The second series focused too much on glamming up and padding out the fluff that no-one actually cares about (live studio audience, who gives a fuck?). The second series was redeemed by some proper shithousery in the tactics. The US version copied the original which worked well. Now this third series they are apparently sending a couple of Loose Women Z listers in pretending to be Gemma Collins, feel like they forgot what the point of the game was.
Five minutes into this Gordon Ramsay thing and there’s far too much mouth from the contestants. Just no.