The little things in life that fuck you off

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Originally Posted by Lewis

My mother volunteered to look after the dickhead four year old tonight (having said she would never do so again), and oh look he's still massively annoying and more than likely gay as well.

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Originally Posted by Adamski

"Oh, no. I have to share my mummy!"

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Just quoting these so they're on this page too.

:D

Adamski really did win that page.

Being hated by the board, ya bunch of cunts, I'm a nice guy damnit.

Lewis has had a few donnings as of late. I wonder if he's going bald.

He's probably texting Mert for backup as we speak.

He's probably gone to take it out on that little kid now.

I note that Lewis hasn't been on since the kid got there. He loves him really.

He's probably making Hillsborough jokes whilst watching The Lego Movie with the kid.

These Newcastle Eagles fans for murdering the 'DE-FENCE!' chant.

That Lego film is alright. Directed by Sergei Eisenstein as well.

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Originally Posted by Lewis

That Lego film is alright. Directed by Sergei Eisenstein as well.

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Is that a new one or the one that came out a while back with batman in it?

The Lego Movie is awesome.

@Magic, don't you mean EVERYTHING IS AWESOME

Reg I like you a lot more recently but don't push it.

:D

Amazon's standard delivery is so fucking slow these days. I'm not signing up for Prime, you cunts.

I think I must live near a depot or something, most things I get off amazon tend to come on the faster end of the estimate.

There is a depot about three hours from where I live. They hold off from delivering my stuff three or four days every time so that it doesn't arrive too quickly. I don't buy from then anymore.

Unless it's FBA stuff then deliveries are handled entirely by the vendor rather than Amazon.

I don't know what FBA is but I'm taking about stuff sold by Amazon directly. Stuff from third parties is all over the place.

Yeah, (Fulfilled By Amazon) you send a load of whatever you're selling to their warehouse and they dispatch it. It obviously works for some but they're super picky about how it's labelled and packaged plus they obviously charge you for storage and delivery.

I got my parents an Amazon Fire Stick a while back and it's the stupidest thing I've ever done. I installed Kodi on it for them and then your regular legit apps like iPlayer and that. They didn't really use it for a while but now they've started and it's 'how do you do this? how do you do that? why isn't this working? what's this thing do?' all the bloody time.

My dads like that but only if I'm there. When he uses it to watch a film with my mum he's a whizz but when I go round he's all 'how do you put subtitles on?' 'can you have a look at that kodi while you're here?'

He's always been like that though. Especially when he used to play Doom.

My stepdad has sportsmania and is an absolute fucking nightmare with it. Constantly messing with it and choosing to use the free add ons rather than the sportsmania channels (he has a build which doesn't differentiate and he wouldn't be able to tell anyway) then moaning like hell when they don't work.

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Originally Posted by Boydy

Just quoting these so they're on this page too.

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Cheers. :drool:

Edit: fuck how did I miss that? Oh Reg tagged me. The bitch.

Did we not have a thread for stuff you'd like to see invented or something along those lines?

Anyway, why aren't there smartphones that can tell the difference between your finger/thumb and a bit of rain?

YouTube videos that sound pretty interesting and really should be only like 30 seconds long but are actually about 13 minutes long so you end up not watching.

Also clickbait image previews on YouTube videos.

YouTube.

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Originally Posted by Magic

YouTube videos that sound pretty interesting and really should be only like 30 seconds long but are actually about 13 minutes long so you end up not watching.

Also clickbait image previews on YouTube videos.

YouTube.

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Go down to the hotel bar and have a pint, and stop looking at YouTube.

Sorry pal I've just ordered 3 courses at 35 quid all in so no booze for me. :(

So utterly useless.

Jealous you fat pig?

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Originally Posted by Magic

Jealous you fat pig?

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2 kilos lost in 6 days mate :drool:

Oh really? Fair play well done. :)

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Originally Posted by Magic

Oh really? Fair play well done. :)

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:uhoh:

Magic?

That's good going, Mahow. What are you doing to lose it?

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Originally Posted by Giggles

:uhoh:

Magic?

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It was devilishly sarcastic because he still weighs 22 stone.

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Originally Posted by Boydy

That's good going, Mahow. What are you doing to lose it?

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Just eating right.

My biggest problem was always snacking late at night.

I don't do that as much now (if I do I'll stick loads of fruit in a bowl, fat free yogurt and add some toasted oats and hazelnuts which have been mixed in a bit of honey) as I have smaller meals but more frequently.

I'll probably start swimming in a couple of weeks which will see it melt away.

You won't be wanted in a pool in this day and age. It's like gyms these days. Nobody is allowed lose weight or get fit any more it's all about how much you lift, how many k you run, or how many lengths you do wankery.

I don't think he'd ever have been wanted in a pool.

Ignore them mahow and stick with it.

Just got to make sure it's maintainable, otherwise it'll come back. Find a happy medium and maintain it.

Try and cut down on the fruit. It's very high sugar.

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Originally Posted by Foe

Ignore them mahow and stick with it.

Just got to make sure it's maintainable, otherwise it'll come back. Find a happy medium and maintain it.

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A happy medium, like going bald and being under constant fear of redundancy and living in the most depressing city in the UK. Happy medium.

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Originally Posted by Magic

A happy medium, like going bald and being under constant fear of redundancy and living in the most depressing city in the UK. Happy medium.

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A fair reflection of my life in 2015.

At some point people will realise I'm shit at my job. Fortunately for me that's not happened yet and I'm seemingly still capable of pulling the long con. :cool:

Yeah Magic, cause this is a battle you're going to win.

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Originally Posted by Disco

Yeah Magic, cause this is a battle you're going to win.

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I'd trade it all for a fraction of his wage and body. :cry:

EDIT: excluding vacant looking face and shiny head. And clit penis.

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Originally Posted by Giggles

You won't be wanted in a pool in this day and age. It's like gyms these days. Nobody is allowed lose weight or get fit any more it's all about how much you lift, how many k you run, or how many lengths you do wankery.

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As Adamski says, I don't think I've ever been 'wanted' in a pool. I can easily swim a kilometre though even when I'm out of shape (I've never been in shape) and I actually enjoy it. Gyms are cesspits.

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Originally Posted by Raoul Duke

Try and cut down on the fruit. It's very high sugar.

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Right now I'm purely focused on cutting down on calories and fat.

You know sugar turns in to fat right fwiw icymi

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

Right now I'm purely focused on cutting down on calories and fat.

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Sugar = calories :cab:

Once you get down to the wankery that fruit is bad for you then you've gone too far and before you know it you'll be blogging about quinoa and kale and end up better off dead.

Cut out the shit and eat fruit, veg, and lean meat. Job done.

if he's going to snack, snacking on something natural is surely better. Small steps.

My diet still consists of green tea. I'm hoping for miracles but as of yet the results are inconclusive.